Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE

Much to everyone's surprise (including Rick Hahn and Kenny Williams) Jerry Reinsdorf fired both the #WhiteSox General Manager and Executive Vice President after a combined 50 years of service to the organization | A brief moment of optimism was squashed when rumors of another complicated and incestuous organizational structure emerged with Chris Getz and Dayton Moore(?) at the top | LARUSSAPALOOZA 2: Just when Sox fans thought it couldn't get worse, Tony La Russa rears his ugly head, this time as Jerry's consigliere | Eloy Jiménez is "not really" interested in team leadership role and apparently no one else is either | No, the Sox won't be moving to Nashville, but could the West Loop, Soldier Field, or even Arlington Heights host Comisky 3.0? | Shots fired! But did they come from inside or outside of Guaranteed Rate Field? | PV investigates security protocols one night after a bizarre and scary scene at Sox Park

We give our full breakdown of two nights of epic baseball between the #Cubs and #WhiteSox at Wrigley Field | Nobody knows what the fuck is going on with Marcus Stroman, including Marcus Stroman | Does anyone really believe "dramatic changes" are coming to the Sox front office after Jerry Reinsdorf, Kenny Williams, Rick Hahn, and Pedro Grifol finish "interviewing" each other? | ASSTHETICS: New Era Caps "Fitted In Black" will document how Sox style impacted '90s hip-hop culture | #SFGiants playoff hopes are on the ropes, but can they bounce back? | Are the #Tigers actually the best team in the AL Central? | With honorable mention to Cody Bellinger, Zack Gelof, Kerry Carpenter, and Luis Robert Jr, Spencer Torkelson is our BADASS of the Week

#SFGiants lack imagination and ambition at the deadline | ASSTHETICS: Giants' Cruise sleeve ad is one of very few to get it right | Jeimer Candelario immediately proves to be the right move at the right moment for the surging #Cubs | HARDBALL DEEP THROAT: Investigative journalism reveals what the fuck happened with the Eduardo Rodriguez deal that never happened between the #Tigers and #Dodgers | Not one, but TWO NO-NO(s) of the WEEK for Michael Lorenzen and Framber Valdez | So much Shit We Couldn't Make Up between NYC and LA | #Orioles easily earn our ASSHOLE of the WEEK dishonor for secretly suspending announcer Kevin Brown for not being 'positive' enough?

Lucas Giolito is heading home to California, but why didn't the #WhiteSox bother trying to keep him? | The #Cubs won't be selling Marcus Stroman or Cody Bellinger at the deadline for different reasons, but they won't be big buyers either | Did the #SFGiants call up top SS prospect Marco Luciano to gain leverage in trade talks? | Eduardo Rodriguez and Michael Lorenzen are going in opposite directions for #Tigers trade value | With honorable mention to Eloy Jiménez, Dansby Swanson, and Belli, Nico Hoerner is our Badass of the Week | #Mariners Jarred Kelenic suffers the Dumbass Injury of the Week

Of the 5 teams we cover, only the #SFGiants are sure to be buyers at the deadline, so do they really have a chance to land Shohei Ohtani? | #Cubs continue to find ways to sabotage their own season on every level | Is a 5-2 start after the break "hot" enough for Scott Harris and the #Tigers NOT to be sellers at the deadline? | Sticky stuff hasn't gone away, it's just finding new ways to hide | What will the #WhiteSox rotation look like on August 2 now that the window has officially closed? | With honorable mention to Kerry Carpenter and Cody Bellinger, Wilmer Flores earns our BADASS of the Week

With 70 games to go our five teams are a combined 66 games below .500, but there's still plenty of shit to entertain us to the bitter end | ASSTHETICS: How long #AllStarGame unis continue to devolve and make the game harder to follow before #MLB realizes they are being pennywise and pound foolish? | MLA All-Stars: If you combined resources from the teams we cover, you'd come up with one hell of a rotation and a formidable bullpen | Alex Cobb might not be all that delusional when he declared the #SFGiants will land Shohei Ohtani | David Ross is feeling the pressure as the #Cubs remain on the razor's edge of being buyer or sellers | HOLY SHIT! Matt Manning, Jason Foley, and Alex Lange throw #Tigers' first-ever combined No-No! | Window of contention for #WhiteSox is not only closed, it's nailed shut | #Athletics getting Perfect Gamed is just too perfect | It might be time to rename our BADASS of the Week the Luis Robert Award

Nearing the halfway point, the #SFGiants just can't stop beating up on division rivals | London Series starts off with a bang, but ends like a damp squib as the #Cubs blow a chance to reach .500 thanks to Trey Mancini's cockup and Marcus Stroman's flesh wound | Marquee Network streaming is finally coming directly to the people without a cable subscription, but at what cost? | #Tigers exposes how weak the #Twins really are, but fail to capitalize on the chance to draw closer in a historically mediocre division | Prodigal son, Tim Anderson returns to the #WhiteSox... at 2B? | It's time to modify the 'blocking the plate' rule to allow for some basic common sense | With honorable mention to no one, Luis Robert Jr. stands alone as our first unanimous Badass of the Week | We should be talking more about the human cheat code that is Shohei Ohtani | Pittsburgh continues to bleed black & gold with final Nike City Connect uniforms of the season | Introducing your 2023 Major League A*Holes All-Stars Outfield and DH!

#SFGiants make history in St. Louis AND Los Angeles while moving into second place in an up-for-grabs NL West | #Cubs make mincemeat of #Pirates and #Orioles ahead of British invasion to face #STLCards | Drunk bus driver takes Pirates on wild ride | Revisiting the historic 2023 shortstop free agent class | #Tigers turn June of Doom into a reason for scoreboard watching | Pedro Grifol attempts to defend lineup construction with fatally flawed logic | Rick Hahn lashes out at national media by shamefully framing his argument around James Fegan's layoff by The Athletic | Was Tim Anderson benched, hurt, or just butthurt in Seattle? | Mike Yastremski earns our Badass of the Week honor with honorable mentions to Christopher Morel and Lance Lynn | Rob Manfred isn't just an asshole, he's a sociopath with no regard for humanity | Introducing your 2023 Major League A*Holes All-Stars Infield!

Will the #SFGiants be buyers or sellers at the deadline? | Meanwhile, Kyle Hendricks' no-hit bid falls just short as #Cubs get surprising West Coast road series win | Marcus Stroman uses social and traditional media to try to leverage new deal | Injury plot twist subdues an inspirational Liam Hendriks story | Pedro Grifol fells wrath of Pete and #WhiteSox Twitter for defensive positioning gaffe | Will the real Tim Anderson please stand up? | June of Doom starts with #Tigers dumbest game ever in Chicago | If trying to defend his abysmal record as GM is all Al Avila is going to do, let's just hope this is the last time he speaks publicly, for his sake | #Athletics "Reverse Boycott" fan revolt gains momentum in Oakland while John Fisher's attempt to rob Nevada taxpayers sputters | Joc Pederson earns our Badass of the Week award with honorable mentions to Jace Peterson, Luis Robert Jr., Lucas Giolito, and Kyle Hendricks

Just as the #Tigers completed their first winning month since Sept 2021, their best pitcher and position player, Eduardo Rodriguez and Riley Greene, go down with significant injuries in a 16-hour span | "Controlling The Strike Zone" is now a cliché much easier said than done, but Detroit certainly did on both sides of the ball against the #WhiteSox | How long can the Sox keep a struggling Lance Lynn in the rotation? | Rick Hahn doesn't make difficult decisions on major holidays like Memorial Day when he can push them off to the Fourth of July | #Cubs fans hold their collective breath as Justin Steele's elbow may have just melted down before their eyes | Embarrassing Billy Williams' bobblehead giveaway fiasco "shouldn't have happened." No shit | #SFGiants find themselves at a familiar .500 | Billionaire #Athletics owner John Fisher won't even show up to first formal proposal begging Nevada taxpayers for $400M | Zack Short is an improbable, yet very deserving Badass of the Week | Detroit's sacred jersey "desecrated" by a corporate sponsor is much ado over nothing, but will Chicago teams share the same fate?

#SFGiants flirt with .500 while Michael Conforto is a man on fire | The Miguel Cabrera situation is only going to get more awkward as the 2nd place #Tigers remain in contention | For what it's worth, Jed Hoyer takes blame for #Cubs bad bullpen | With 9 HRs in 12 games and 5 in the last 5, Christopher Morel obliterates the field to earn Badass of the Week | #WhiteSox feast on AL Central foes and finally start to look like division contenders | Tom Hamilton earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor for calling out Tim Anderson while ignoring the #Guardians' own SS deficiencies | #Athletics making the wrong kind of history on and off the field | No bird is safe in any #MLB ballpark these days | ASSTHETICS: #Orioles underwhelm with derivative and boring Nike City Connect uniforms

We hand out grades for each of the #Cubs, #Tigers, #WhiteSox, and #SFGiants, and it's NOT pretty | Reading Tim Anderson's lips leads to multiple interpretations, but there's no doubt about what Pete thinks about White Sox Nation | #Athletics take another major step on their brutal death march out of Oakland | Third time's a charm for Luis Robert Jr. as he finally claims his first Badass of the Week with honorable mentions to newcomers Christopher Morel and Casey Schmitt | Whether the public scapegoating of Willson Contreras was intentional or just incompetence, the #STLCards are assholes | Not-so-red #Reds Nike City Connect uniforms put a new spin on 150 years of history

#Cubs have overachieved against top competition while underachieving versus the lower rung leaving them right where we thought they'd be — just below .500 | Willson Contreras returned to Wrigley Field with a #Cardinals organization in complete disarray | #Tigers win 3 consecutive series and expose the #Mets for the hilarious mess they are | Eduardo Rodriguez might be the best pitcher in the league and should be traded at the peak of his value | Sean Manaea has been every bit as shitty as the #SFGiants felt after their trip to Mexico | Beyond loosening the #WhiteSox logjam at 1B/DH, moving on from Jose Abreu is looking more and more like the right move | As bad as the AL Central is, should the floundering Sox press on for a potential division title or cut bait and trade expiring assets like Lucas Giolitto? | Luis Robert Jr. will get plenty of chances to take our Badass of the Week honor so it's time to give it to E-Rod | Grossly entitled billionaire heir to The Gap fortune and #Athletics owner John Fisher is doing his best George Costanza impersonation as he begs for taxpayers' money to earn our Asshole of the Week dishonor | #Mariners Nike City Connect uniforms make waves, but did they miss the mark?

Due to scheduling conflicts, there's no In The Hole this week, but here's a BONUS episode of Sox Type Thing just for the fuck of it:

Andrew Vaughn's dramatic game-winning blast capped a dramatic and sorely needed #WhiteSox comeback victory Sunday for the first time in nearly two weeks | More good news as Tim Anderson is ready to return while long-awaited bullpen reinforcements are scheduled to arrive later this month when Garrett Crochet and even Liam Hendriks return to action | Major League A*Holes reunited on the Southside Friday to #DominateTheRate from the scout seats | Lance Lynn's no-hit bid collapses in spectacular fashion Saturday | Whether something got lost in translation or Luis Robert Jr. got caught in a lie, fans booed him lustily for not hustling | Pete completes the Sox Park premium seating trilogy with an unintended visit to the Miller Lite Lansing this Wednesday

Drew Smyly's perfect game bid gets intercepted by Yan Gomes playing a completely different sport | Justin Steele has quietly become the best pitcher in baseball just last July, much like Jake Arieta's ascension for the #Cubs in 2014 | Who will get the 100th Splash Hit into McCovey Cove for the #SFGiants? | #Tigers bullpen is following Scott Harris' mantra by "controlling the strike zone" with surprising success | Miguel Cabrera's going-away gift list is getting weird | What does "accountability" really mean to Kenny Williams and the #WhiteSox? | Steve Stone suggests Lance Lynn might be too fat for #MLB's new pitch clock | There's a long way to go before the #Athletics can cash in their chips in Las Vegas | Kicking the shit out of cancer earns Liam Hendriks our most well-deserved Badass of the Week | Max Scherzer makes a martyr of himself over MLB's murky 'sticky stuff' rule enforcement, but was it really worth a 10-game suspension?

#Cubs win their first series at #Dodger since 2014, but not without welcomed and expected scrutiny for David Ross | Joe Maddon continues to have Bitter Beer Face over the end of his time on the North Side so we created a new segment around it | Immediately following Javy Báez' benching, a five-game winning streak that included three walk-off wins in a row has raised #Tigers fans' hopes... slightly | Whether it's injury or underperformance, the bottom line is Rick Hahn has spent over $100M on a bullpen that blows | Just when we thought it was behind him, Mike Clevinger rekindled outrage with "Gold Digger" stunt simply because he's an idiot | Even a resident possum couldn't help the Oakland #Athletics out of the cellar of our Power Rankings | Cody Bellinger's 5-tool performance earns our second Badass of the Week with honorable mention to Jake Burger, Patrick Wisdom, Eduardo Rodriguez, and Lucas Giolito | #Rangers new Nike City Coonect uniforms are all hat and no cattle | Even with so much psitive momentu for #MLB, Rob Manfred just can't help himself from ruining it by waging his labor war against the players so publicly

Many #MLB execs believe the #Cubs are a "sleeper" candidate to win the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes | Slew of injuries factor in another slow start for #SFGiants | Javy Báez gets benched after boneheaded bass-running blunders | #WhiteSox, #Tigers, and #Athletics are among the five worst teams in baseball | Marcus Stroman is our first Badass of the Week | Pitch clock is awesome for everything but beer sales | ASSTHETICS: Yankees are running out of jersey numbers | #Marlins' classless "Bartman Appreciation Weekend" ticket promo earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor

April Fool's Day was appropriate for the 20th annual Major League A*Holes Fantasy Draft. Relive all the action, intrigue, sophomoric humor, and drama with us!

Our annual NostraDumbass prediction show is sure to get everything wrong for the 2023 season | Forbes Magazines' annual financial analysis reveals 'biblical valuations' and record revenues for #MLB once again proving owners like the #Cubs' Tom Ricketts are lying to their fans | #WhiteSox fans don't have Leury Garcia to kick around anymore, so who's next? | #Braves' new Nike City Connect uniforms seem very familiar... maybe TOO familiar?

The #WorldBaseballClassic brings a refreshing and merciful end to a long offseason  |  Despite spending over $300M on more free agents than anyone in MLB this offseason, the #Cubs are confusing activity with accomplishment  |  After 31 years and almost $1 BILLION in contracts signed and unsigned, the Carlos Correa Saga reached a dramatic conclusion  |  Scott Harris and the #Tigers are making significant changes on the field, off the field, and even TO the field for 2023  | BONUS: Name Smitty's fantasy team!

Should the #WhiteSox be praised for finally getting back to the fundamentals?  |  Mike Clevinger and Tim Anderson go to war on local media  |  Elvis Andrus is BACK in the building (how many times have you heard that joke already?)  |  The Piitch Clock is already reshaping baseball as we know it — and that's a GOOD thing  |  ASKHOLE: Why the fuck are the Sox allowing players in the WBC??

The Not-So Hot Stove hasn't produced much excitement for any of our ballclubs... yet  |  Did anyone vote for #WhiteSox new manager Pedro Grifol?  |  Stop buying the # Cubs' "intelligent spending" bullshit  |  #SFGiants make a few signings, but fail to land the big fish  |  What is Billy Beane's ultimate legacy now that he's leaving Oakland for greener pastures?  |  Scott Harris is rebuilding the #Tigers, starting with the lights  |  ASSTHETICS: Mixed reviews for the #Twins new uniforms "inspired by the past, but built for the future"  |   Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our illustrious Asshole of the Year dishonor for 2022

We break down the dramatic and bittersweet conclusion to Tony La Russa's and the #WhiteSox' tumultuous traveling circus we affectionately refer to as LaRussaPalooza  |  Was Bruce Levine simply using the oldest trick in the book for Chicago baseball writers to get some attention from both sides of town, or is there some legitimacy to his report that Sox legend, José Abreu might end up with the #Cubs next season?  |  While our preseason NostraDumbass predictions didn't turn out so well, this unprecedented #MLB #postseason has certainly delivered

CairoMania and LaRussaPalooza reached their dramatic conclusions as the #WhiteSox got swept out of the playoff picture over a miserable 6 days  |  Will Jerry Reinsdorf spend whatever it takes to keep his ballclub's championship window propped open?  |  How much blame does Rick Hahn share in the Sox failure?  |  Can # Tigers' new GM Scott Harris talk Miguel Cabrera into retiring and Justin Verlander into returning?  |  Tom Ricketts and the #Cubs are out of excuses not to spend BIG on free agents this offseason  |  #SFGiants need an overhaul, but the timing might be perfect for it  |  Can cynical minds enjoy the historic home run chases of Aaron Judge and Albert Pujols that seem a little too good to be true?

Ken Rosenthal's 'Open Letter to Tony La Russa' is an eye-opening indictment of the entire dysfunctional #WhiteSox organization  |  Miguel Cairo's firey 'Get the Fuck Out' speech could become the stuff of legend IF they can overtake CLE  |  Al Avila set a low bar for #Tigers' promising new president, Scott Harris  |  Trust us — pitch clocks, big bases, and shift bans will NOT ruin baseball  |  False claims about Freddie Freeman's former agent earn Doug Gottlieb our Asshole of the Week dishonor

Fans everywhere rejoice as #MLB finally put a merciful end to the imbalanced schedule in 2023  |  Would Javy Baez and the #Tigers be better off playing 2B?  |  Does AJ Hinch deserve more heat for the Motor City meltdown?  |  Where did it all go wrong for the once mighty #SFGiants?  |  Should the #Cubs bet the farm on Shohei Ohtani if the #LAAngels put him on the market or hold off and finally utilize the might of their money-making empire to buy the unicorn in 2024?  |  Lord Tom Tunney of Wrigleyville resigns before the authorities come to take him away  |  Risky business in the Rogers Centre and RingCentral Coliseum gives new meaning to the 500 Club  |  Video of #Yankees fan blowing a hotdog for a beer goes viral  |  Who's Andy Rutschman and why are the OOrioles giving him a 20-year, $600M deal?  |  Aroldis Chapman is into unsanitary leg tattoos  |  Marcell Ozuna's domestic violence + DUI and Carlos Martinez's PED + domestic violence earn them our co-Assholes of the Week dishonor

It's been almost a month since our last episode as Smitty selfishly went on vacation, so we have A LOT of ground to cover  |  Trade deadline comes and goes with very little fanfare for #Cubs #Tigers and #SFGiants  |  At least Chris Ilitch showed he is paying a bit of attention to his baseball team and finally fired Al Avila even if it was over a month too late  |  What is Jason Heyward's legacy after Jed Hoyer releases him with over a year left on his $184M contract?  |  ASSTHETICS: Field of Dreams 2 was the sequel that should've never been made  |  Chris Sale's bike crash, Rodolfo Castro's cell phone, Pete Rose facing accusations of statutory rape in the 1970s, and the plummeting New York #Yankees highlight all sorts of  Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our Asshole of the Month dishonor

Looks like we'll be talking about a lot more selling than buying when Smitty gets back from vacation in mid-August  |  #Cubs hug it out in the dugouts as Willson Contreras plays his last game at Wrigley in Cubbie blue, but Ian Happ's future is a little more complicated  |  If Tarik Skubal and "just about everyone else" are traded, #Tigers fans are facing another five years of futility as an incompetent Al Avila is inexplicably allowed to embark on a second complete rebuild  |  "It is what it is" as Andrew Chafin creates his own "unfortunate situation" and earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor  |  After a brutal seven-game losing streak suddenly makes the #SFGiants sellers instead of buyers, should Carlos Rodón top their inventory list of assets to go?  |  Former Fuckin' A's draft pick Kyler Murray made the right choice to go to the NFL now that he's making more per year than Oakland's entire payroll  |  MLB.TV Big Inning could be baseball's equivalent of NFL RedZone

#AllStarGame starts off with a bang and limps to a low-rated finish, but at least the uniforms were MUCh cooler than last year's monstrosities  |  The FIX was clearly in on the Home Run Derby and all the degenerate gamblers were NOT happy with the Robbery in the Ravine  |  We hate to break it to you, but here's why [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE TEAM HERE} will NOT win the Juan Soto Sweepstakes  |  #Cubs are getting sued by the goddam United fucking States Justice Department because Crane Kenney obviously hates disabled people  |  TEN Royals still won't get vaccinated, an on-field prostate exam brings new meaning to the 7th-Inning Stretch, Chris Sale is broken again, and graphic designer desecrates a national memorial in a very AL East-centric Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment  |  ESPN and whoever else decided the world needed a SEVEN-FUCING-HOUR documentary about Derek Jeter earned our Assholes of the Week dishonor

As we reach the midway mark in the 2022 season, the five teams we cover are a combined 57 games BELOW .500  |  In #Tigers news Miguel Cabrera makes the All-Star team, Javy Baez is being Javy Baez, Riley Greene is off to one hell of a start to his #MLB career, Chris Ilitch and Al Avila should just stop talking, and Eduardo Rodriguez has ghosted the ball club  |  Carlos Correa sheds new light and sparks some hope he might eventually sign with Detroit or the #Cubs  |  If Wrigley Field is an "underwhelming, stock, standard ballpark" then Fenway Park is a total shithole  |  Will the sinking #SFGiants be buyers or sellers at the trade deadline?  |  Fuckin' A's may have dodged a bullet with Frankie Montas' shoulder situation, but four unfortunate fans couldn't  |  Kyle Schwarber is fulfilling his 'Babe Fucking Ruth' destiny in Philadelphia in spite of Chicago  |   MAIL FRAUD: Would you pick 3 teams to win the World Series or take the field?  |  #Padres' LOUD new City Connect uniforms really sting the retinas  |  Sample some tasty new beers and support our friends at Revolution Brewing this weekend during Freedom Fest 2022

The #Tigers revisited their 2012 World Series house of horrors in San Francisco and came away with a surprising split series with the #SFGiants  |  While Isaac Paredes is earning AL Player of the Week accolades, Austin Meadows is sidelined once again with some bizarre ailment that makes Al Avila look all the more incompetent  |  Is the #Cubs Business Operations Department, led by Crane 'TheCockroach' Kenney, trying to distance itself from the Baseball Ops Dept. to place all the blame for the club's failure on Jed Hoyer?  |  Could ticket-package rebates provide some goodwill and future profits for #MLB franchise?  |  The first true baseBRAWL in quite some time between the #Mariners and #Angels results in plenty of comedy with a bit of tragedy  |  Freddie Freeman got seriously  fucked by his own agent  |  ASSTHETICS: Note to MLB marketeers — the #BlueJays don't celebrate the 4th of July  |  Tanner Houck is our Asshole of the Week, but he may become Boston's Asshole of the Year