Major League A*Holes: IN THE HOLE

Riley Greene injects some hope in #Tigers Nation and some life into a previously dormant offense  |  Your eyes aren't deceiving you, the last 162-game stretch has been the WORST in the #Cubs' 152-year history  |  The Chicago Tribune's Paul Sullivan is an asshole, but we like it  |  #MLB has FINALLY seen the light as the end of streaming blackouts is upon us!  |  Leiseru Rules: Theo Epstein had himself one hell of a Day Off  |  #SFGiants tread water in the toughest division in baseball despite injuries to rivals Mookie Betts and Manny Machado  |  ASSTHETICS: Baseball, beer, BBQ — what else could anyone want from the #BrewCrew's new Nike City Connect uniforms?  |  MAIL FRAUD: Does the utility man deserve a place in the #AllStarGame?

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We've finally reached a breaking point after endless years of rebuilding without results — Al Avila must be held accountable for the #Tigers' historic futility and be removed from his duties as GM  |  Trade season is rapidly approaching so we Power Ranked the #Cubs most valuable trade assets  |  How do the #SFGiant do that voodoo they do?  |  Even MORE details emerge about the high-rolling fantasy football league at the center of the Slap Heard Round The World  |  Joe Maddon's desperation mohawk makes his firing from the #LAAngels just that much more awkward and sad  |  Immaculate Innings don't come around often unless the #Astros are facing the #Rangers' Nathaniel Lowe, Ezequiel Duran, and Brad Miller  |  Vlad Guerrero Jr. and Vlad Guerrero Sr.'s career paths continue to mirror each other in uncanny ways

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The Cubs and star catcher Willson Contreras avoided what could've been a very awkward arbitration hearing, but that doesn't necessarily mean a long-term extension is imminent  |  BREAKING NEWS: Yet it shouldn't be too surprising Casey Mize needs Tommy John surgery  | Which would Tigers fans settle for if forced to chose between Tarik Skubal or Miguel Cabrera?  |  Joe Maddon's legacy isn't defined by two weeks of a Mickey Mouse organization's failure  |  ASSTHETICS: Surf's up and FOUR middle fingers up for the Angels' new Nike City Connect uniforms  |  MLB needs to take a stand and create a coherent policy to avoid more 'rainbow washing' controversy  |  MAIL FRAUD: We stole an intriguing question to  Len Kasper

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#SFGiants Joc Pederson found himself in the center of the BIGGEST story in all of sports involving Oscars-level violence on a baseball field over fantasy football  |  The #Cubs and #WhiteSox are two mediocre teams facing off during the most mediocre time of year with mediocre results AND a potentially catastrophic injury to Tim Anderson  |  Dylan Cease and Kendall Graveman earned our Asshole of the Week dishonor when they helped cost the Sox a series in Toronto  |  Sox Type Thing: Pete gets put in Twitter time out  |  Jed Hoyer might be terrified of the word REBUILD, but it's impossible to describe the Cubs current state without it  |  Have the #Tigers FINALLY turned the corner?  |  This Week in Fuckin' As History  |  Nick Castellanos keeps on making things awkward for announcers  |  We did the math for our Division Power Rankings  |  ASSTHETICS: Rockies Mountain High Colorado 

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Intentional or not, the racial undertones in Josh Donaldson's "What's up, Jackie?" comments toward Tim Anderson make him an obvious choice for Asshole of the Week with dishonorable mentions going out to outright racist #Yankees fans as well as an absolutely spineless Rob Manfred  |  #WhiteSox reliever Joe Kelly doesn't play by FCC rules but nailed his assessment of Donalson as a "douche" to win our Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing  |  Oh yeah, the #Cubs are headed to the Southside for the conclusion of most lackluster Crosstown Series in years  |  "Schwisdon Industries" is a far cry from "Bryzzo Souvenir Co." but it's all Cubs fans have got these days  |  Marquee Network censors exposed Cubs thin skin and paranoia typical of state-run media  |  We steal other podcasts' mail and answer the question: Is Miguel Cabrera the #Tigers best hitter?  |Tarik Skubal is too damn good not to have a nickname  |  #MLB's Top Prospect, Riley Greene is on the verge of his debut in Detroit, and not a moment too soon  |  Joc Pederson is carrying the #SFGiants' offense  | Not sure if Frankie "The Bird" Montas has the right ring to it  |  NEW SEGMENT ALERT! Power Rankings: Fan Cost Index

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Should White Sox fans be Patient or Panic as the club continues to struggle offensively and hover around .500?  |  Celebrity Sox Type Thing: Tim Anderson vs. Ozzie Guillen  |  Cubs were the HOTTEST team in baseball for a moment as a few rookies had memorable debuts  |  Even with Tarik Skubal emerging as a true ace and Miguel Cabrera looking like his old MVP self, the Rays added insult to injury as the Tigers lose their FIFTH starting pitcher to the IL while Isaac Paredes makes fans question trading him in the most ironic way  |  The hapless Reds go Less Than Zero finding a way to lose their own special brand of No-No of the Week  |  Joe West gains some credibility and our most unlikely Anti-Hero of the Week award  |  Matt Harvey takes our saddest and most tragic Asshole of the Week dishonor

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#WhiteSox entertain us with bad defense, historic blown saves, bizarre lawsuits, and opponent's FCC violations  |  #Cubs take over our Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment with Nico getting injured by an ump and Frank's Wild Ride  |  #Tigers experiencing deja vu with two consecutive seasons off to shitty starts  |  #SFGiants ask the eternal question: Does a beard = a mustache? |  No-No of the Week continues with #Angels rookie Reid Detmers

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We celebrate our 100th episode with a #Cubs #WhiteSox series presented by Faceless Corporate Entity that started with as little energy as the fat-guy, slo-mo fight in the bleachers and ended as predictably as a Tim Anderson first-pitch swing  |  Witness the dramatic conclusion of Sox Fan or NOT a Sox Fan? as well as Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan? for now...  |  Despite a solid patchwork rotation and the best bullpen in baseball, the #Tigers abysmal offense continues to crush Detroit's spirit  |  #SFGiants dominate the A*Hole standings yet find themselves in 4th place in the real world  |  Fuckin' A's vs. Oakland relationship find new levels of toxicity and almost nobody cares  |  #LGFM 5-man collaborative jam no-hits #Phillies, but should it really be recognized?  | The #UmpShow dominates our Shit We Couldn't Make Up segment  |  Trevor Bauer is probably the most obvious Asshole of the Week we've ever had.

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Motor City traffic was fucking brutal, but it was an absolute privilege to witness Miguel Cabrera become the 33rd player in Major League history to reach 3,000 hits in person. 

Unfortunately, baseball always proves to be six months of misery momentarily punctuated by fleeting moments of joy as the #Tigers suffer the WORST walk-off loss imaginable in Minnesota in the midst of a five-game losing streak. 

Speaking of losing streaks, the Sox finally snapped their 8-game slide, but did is another one on the horizon with  Tony La Russa's bull-headed strategies and a disturbing rash of injuries mounting? 

The Cubs made some weird history of their own by trouncing the Pirates 21-0 but still losing the four-game series. 

Back by popular demand: Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan?

The Battle of the Bay ended in a draw is huge for the A's and a huge disappointment for the Giants. 

ASSTHETICS returns with a splashy new Nike City Connect uni for the Royals.

Angel Hernandez's fluid strike zone pushed Kyle Schwarber into a blind rage.

Zoo York Yankees fans should be caged and are easy winners of our Asshole of the Week dishonor.

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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/

Yankees manager Aaron Boone's pathetic decision to intentionally walk Miguel Cabrera on the precipice of 3,000 hits may or may not have been the right move by the book, but it ultimately revealed his cowardice and bit him in the ass immediately  |  Javier Báez earns Dumbass Injury of the Week honors and irks some Tigers fans with his sorrowful tale of his ill-fated relationship with the Cubs severed due to circumstances out of their control  |  Seiya Suzuki is the NL Player of the Week and is on pace to make history  |  We debut our second game show: Cubs Fan or NOT a Cubs Fan?  |  Injuries and questionable managing plague White Sox as slide reaches 4 games  |  Did Dallas Keuchel throw his teammates under the bus after throwing the worst game of his life?

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SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/

Our obsessive Carlos Rodón pitch count watch continues into its third week while the Giants break unwritten rules and make history in unexpected ways  |  Will Oakland A's attendance eventually reach ZERO?  |  Anit-Hero of the Week: Can the pitch clock save baseball?  |  Joe Maddon reaches peak Joe Maddon with an irrational intentional walk that eventually worked out  |  Hordes of ignorant sports fans parachuted into the Clayton Kershaw perfect game debate to chime in with their uneducated opinions  |  Reds president Phil Castellini is the poster boy for inherited wealth entitlement and our Asshole of the Week

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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/

[NOTE: Apologies for Smitty sounding like he's recording from the shitter on a submarine. We're 97 episodes in and we still suck at this sometimes.]

Despite Javy Baez's heroics in his Tigers debut,  Chuck Garfiene's bullshit claims of disrespect, and even more injury issues, the Whits Sox are the class of the AL Central and just as everyone thought. Miguel Cabrera is on the precipice of joining the 3,000/600/500 Club — the most exclusive club in baseball history. If Brewers pitchers are that terrible at pitching inside, they should probably stop pitching inside.  Seiya Suzuki's red-hot start isn't sustainable, but it's better than NOT getting off to a red-hot start. Sean Murphy's ass is more interesting than the Oakland A's. ASSTHETICS: Astros go where no team has gone before with "Space City" Nike City Connect collection.

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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/ 

So let it be written... nothing is certain in life but death, taxes, and reckless preseason baseball speculation podcasts.   

#MLB #OpeningDay

Tony La Russa's misguided diatribe against #WhiteSox fans who want to improve the ballclub inspires a new game show! The #Tigers have good news with Spencer Torkelson's promotion to the big leagues, bad news with Riley Greene's broken foot, but GREAT news with the trade for Austin Meadows. The #Cubs have roughly HALF of a Major League rotation. Carlos Rodón looks good early (as usual) but how long will it last for the #SFGiants. The selloff continues in Oakland as the A's trade Sean Manaea to the Padres while the club pockets massive profits from league revenue sharing. Injuries continue to mount in the #Mets rotation. 

Big-name free agents like Carlos Correa, Nick Castellanos, and Trevor Story end up signing with teams and terms few expected  |  New rules for 2022 are aimed at saving arms  |  How are the 2022 White Sox better than 2021?  |   Lucas Giolito "frustrated, disheartened, and upset" #WhiteSox refused to bridge a mere $50K gap, instead opt for arbitration  |  NEW SEGMENT: 'Sox Type Thing' exposes bad takes on Southside Twitter  |  ASSTHETICS: Spring Training 'trucker style' caps leave Jake Burger's bald dome cooked  |  "It's Different Here" aptly describes current #Cubs  |  #Tigers owner Chris Ilitch felt the need to speak out against "cheap" reputation  |  Oliver Stone would have a field day with all the tentacles of a conspiracy theory and cheating scandal that might involve the #Yankees more than previously thought

We finally and mercifully put a bow on the whole CBA conversation — hopefully forever |  The Legend of Andrew Chafin will continue in the Motor City  |  #Cubs 2016 World Series dream team is officially NOT getting back together  |  Does signing Japanese star Seiya Suzuki mean the North Siders are going for it now?  |  Tom Ricketts infamous "biblical losses" bullshit won't stop him from buying Chelsea FC  |  Joe Kelly is a perfect fit for the #WhiteSox bullpen and culture while Josh Harrison is just a guy  |  #SFGiants take a major risk signing fragile Carlos Rodon  |  A's hampster wheel of perpetual mediocrity spins on with Chris Bassitt, Matt Olson, and Matt Chapman trades  |  Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our first Dumbass Injury of the Week award of the season

Tuesday, March 1, 2022 will forever be known as #NOPEningDay as the owners unilaterally canceled the first two series of the season. And while the owners' lawyer, Rob Manfred is the easy punching bag, #MLB owners earn our Asshole of the Week dishonor. 

Very little progress to report in the Battle of Millionaires vs. Billionaires, but at least those assholes are finally showing a little sense of urgency  |  Despite the lockout, #Tigers fans still get to see some of the best prospects in all of baseball at Spring Training  |  #Cubs put finishing touches on Wrigley Field's renovation while showing what their true priorities are by opening a casino  |  #SFGiants to honor Buster Posey and WIll Clark  |  San Deigo lawn-jobber earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor  |  The Jeremy Giambi story reaches a sad conclusion

The $hit$how To End All  $hit$hows enters its eighth week as the owners' Lockout shows no sign of ending soon  |  Eight potential trade targets to solve the #WhiteSox 2B issue  |  Will Jon Lester go into the Hall of Fame with a #RedSox or #Cubs logo on his plaque?  |  Every writer who voted for David Ortiz but not Barry Bonds earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor

Rob Manfred cans Ken Rosenthal because his fragile ego can't handle respected journalism  |  Lockout shows no sign of an end, but we speculate when it might  |  Which big-name free agents from the significant pool available will the #WhiteSox, #Cubs, #Tigers, and #SFGiants sign?  |  Comerica Park might be getting more reasonable dimensions  |  Fuckin' A's get a new manager they can control and don't have to pay much in Mark Kotsay  |  The runaway winner of our Asshole of the Year award goes to the New York Mets for their monumental achievements in the field of assholery throughout 2021 from the top to the bottom of their organization.

Crafty Al Avila hasn't wasted any time checking off items on #Tigers to-do list with Eduardo Rodriguez signing  |  Carlos Correa and AJ Hinch had themselves a nice brunch date  |  Rick Hahn is making tough, but correct business decisions for the #WhiteSox  |  #SFGiants need to exploit tremendous financial flexibility  |  Claiming Wade Miley is the kind of smart move Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs should've made last year  |  Not one, not two, but three Bad Tweets from bumbling Bob Nightengale  |  Spooky numerology in Atlanta points to The Hammer's influence from the great beyond  |  ASSTHETICS: Kansas City's "new" uniforms steal the spotlight from Cleveland's botched rebrand launch  |  Revolution Brewing's 'Deep Wood Series' showcases the best of barrel-aged beers

The #WhiteSox vs. #Astros ALDS had so many goddamn layers and storylines that we dedicated an entire fucking episode to it complete with Asshole of the Week, more funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up, ASKHOLE?! and yet another one of Bob's Bad Tweets. Plus, a brand new segment — Anti-Hero of the Week presented by Revolution Brewing.

#ChangeTheGame

#WhiteSox clinch the AL Central for the first time in 13 years  |  #Tigers rolling over first-place teams at crunch time  |  PV dominates Revolution Brewing Co. #GrandSlamCan event  |  #SFGiants clinch MLA 2021 Season Championship  |  #Cubs pundits/fans need to slow their roll on Brennan Davis  |  A's badass Chris Bassett makes a triumphant return after getting his face bashed in  |  Salvador Perez historic production raises eyebrows in more ways than one  |  #Padres melt down in every way imaginable  |  Toronto/Tampa contraband contrasty exposes the dumbest side of baseball  |  Co-Assholes of the Week: Conor McGregor and the Chicago Cubs

It was a helluva nearly 6-year run, but June 30th, 2021 marked the end of the Cubs 'Golden Era'  |  A No-No of the Week that no one knew about  |  Josh Donaldson vs. Lucas Giolito reveals macho insecurity of everyone involved  |  It's Burger Time on the Southside!  |  Bob Nightengale's latest Bad Tweet undermines #WhiteSox ability to make Escobar deal  |  How the #Tigers could 'restore the roar' as soon as 2022  |  Jaylin Davis' return could spark #SFGiants just in time  |  BART fiasco just the latest example of the City of Oakland kicking #Athletics to the curb  |  Hector Santiago calls MLB's bluff by appealing his Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls suspension

You know the world is getting back to normal when Bill Murray is doing the 7th-Inning Stretch, beer snakes are setting records, and we're talking shit and drinking beers together again  |  Do you want the good news or bad news about White Sox injuries first?  |  The Sticky Fingers Sticky Balls saga has only just begun and it's a total shitshow |  Tigers seeing encouraging signs down on the farm  |  Giants balance short term success vs. long-term health of the franchise  |  Rizzo's non-vaccinated stance creates potential disaster for Cubs  |  A's pick up Bob Melvin's option, but where's the extension?  |  Trevor Bauer awards Mickey Mouse Cy Youngs after 60 games  |  Rob Manfred is still an asshole (at least he's consistent)

Nick Madrigal is the latest to fall victim to Chicago's hamstring pandemic  |  Rivalry Weekend dominated by Sox/Giants  |  Did TLR break The Yerminator or was he just a flash in the pan?  |  Nothing but Smart Bombs and Wise Cracks for Patrick Wisdom  |  Brandon Crawford's lifetime of Gigantism  |  Sick or not, Jake Arrieta and his excuses sucked in SF  |  Cubs' Minister of Financial Propaganda Crane Kenney is a liar and an asshole  |  Sticky fingers and sticky balls are NOT anything like the steroids scandal  |  Insert obligatory Pirates joke here

Nike/White Sox new 'Southside' uniforms knock it out of the fucking park  |  Joe West is probably good at his job but he's still a total asshole  |  Pirates abysmal defense exposed by Javier Báez and his uncanny ability to make crazy shit happen on the basepaths  |  Boy, that escalated quickly as A's Chris Bassitt turns his career around while wielding a golden trident  |  Robbie Grossman and the Tigers walk-off Gerrit Cole and the Yankees  |  New Era botches attempt to make their own city connection  |  Naked man terrorizes security and tarp tube with #Natitude  |  Zach Plesac earns Dumb Ass Injury of the Week honor

Tony La Russa takes our illustrious Asshole of the Week honor in a landslide  |  Spencer Turnbull's overshadowed No-No |  Cubs/TIgers centuries-old rivalry renewed  |  Cubs reach peak nostalgia marketing levels vs. old friends Jon Lester and Kyle Schwarber  |  Jake Arrieta's anti-vax stance creatures competitive disadvantage  |  Giants success a double-edged sword as approaching trade deadline creates a familiar dilemma  |  Dave Martinez lost his mind in the most amusing way possible  |  Loyal listener gets on-air laugh during Sox broadcast

Shit Show 2.1: Great, now the Millionaires and Billionaires are suing each other  | Chicago boosts stadium capacity to 60%  |  White Sox rise to the top of MLB  |  Questions remain about Giants' hot start  |  In a standoff with no heroes, the City of Oakland stands out as our Asshole of the Week  |  War of '84: Cubs vs. Tigers battle of baseball mediocrity  |  NY Mess: Raccoon vs. Rat  |  Ryno is on the weed?  | Mr. October is our newest fan!  |  MLB Food Fight fucked everything up

Game strategy and rule book knowledge are no longer Tony La Russa's strengths  |  You can stop with the Kris Bryant/Sox trade rumors  |  Javy Baez needs to look in the mirror before attacking Amir Garrett  |  Cubs sweep the World Champs*  |  A very JOCular Asshole of the Week  |  Jesus Lizard just the latest MLB video game casualty  |  Miguel Cabrera is terrible, but he's NOT getting DFA'd  | Astros run to daddy Manfred for help

Somehow, your San Francisco Giants find themselves atop the BEST division in baseball  |  Is a new stadium deal actually on the verge of getting done in Oakland?  |  You can throw out the record books when the Tigers and White Sox get together (or not)  |  Abysmal Cubs still find ways to amuse themselves and piss off others  |  No no-no? Yes no-no? I don't know. Who cares?

The Oakland A's are making history in all sorts of crazy ways on their 11-game winning streak  |  Buster Posey's renaissance and solid pitching are fueling the Giants solid start  |  Cubs crawl back up to .500 and finally reach the Medoza Line, but what is Javy Baez worth right now?  |  White Sox still overcoming injuries as they underachieve  |  So much funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up you couldn't make it up  |  Major League A*Holes are Assholes of the Week for yet another history-making moment this week

Carlos Rodón missed a Perfect Game by a goddamn shoelace, but settling for a No-Hitter still isn't bad  |  PV experiences a game at Sox Park for the first time in years  |  Tigers maul the ASStros as A.J. Hinch returns to the scene of the crime  |  Cubs COVID outbreak piles pestilence upon already painful start  |  Are the Cubs and Willson Contreras just too sensitive about getting hit by seven Brewers pitches in 14 games?  |  Johnny Cueto's promising start might pay dividends for =Giants at trade deadline  |  Week 2 had plenty of funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  Get your facts straight! Smitty earns his first Asshole of the Week 

Big news for the podcast as we unveil a new name and launch a goddamn t-shirt shop  |  #SFGiants seize control of the A*Hole standing as the only team above .500  |  At least the #Cubs futility brings some clarity  |  #WhiteSox storylines are abundant  |  Miggy's iconic Opening Day blast and Baddoo's breakout mark fleeting fun start to #Tigers season  |  #Athletics dismal start compounded by major injuries  |  Bizarre Boston/Nike unis harbinger of strange looks to come in Chicago  |  Trevor Bauer's sticky balls are the talk of the town — just the way he likes it  |  Even the #Mets disapprove of their bullshit walk-off win  |  Asshole of the Week: Chris Young

April Fool's hijinks and Opening Day roster surprises  |  Javy Baez is NOT Francisco Lindor just like Anthony Rizzo is NOT Paul Goldschmidt, so STOP fucking comparing them  |  Trying to stream Marquee Network is a completely FUBAR experience  |  NostraDumbass: Predictions for MVP, Cy Young, and ROY  |  Bad Tweets: Where are all the White Sox fans?

#Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics #MLB #OpeningDay

Yeah, of course, it sucks losing Eloy Jiménez for 5-6 months, but the Sox still have lots of options in LF  |  Do the Math: Capacity expanded to 25% at Wrigley/Sox Park (kinda?)  |  Cubs' drug mule gets busted with A LOT of product  | Our 'NostraDumbass' predictions for the 2021 season are so hot, they will melt your face!!!

#Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #Giants #Athletics

No one asked for it, but we fucking did it anyway... enjoy our LIVE play-by-play coverage of the 18th-Annual Major League A$$holes Fantasy Draft!

States and local governments announce the limited return of fans to ballparks across the county  | Asshole of the Week: Texas takes it too far  |  Rules changes for the Minors could have a MAJOR impact  |  White Sox fans ranked "booziest" and "biggest lightweights" in the game |  Cubs Rub: What the fuck was Pedro Strop thinking?  |  Tigers Shit: Can someone please get Spencer Torkelson a god damn can opener!  |  Fuckin' A's: The Jesus Lizard and his Turkey Sub  |  Premature Celebration: Mets continue to embarrass themselves on a weekly basis

#Cubs #WhiteSox #Tigers #SFGiants #Athletics

We welcome our fifth team to our regular coverage, the Oakland Athletics  |  "Fuck it" Tim Anderson doesn't mince words when he declared the #WhiteSox to be the best team in the AL  |  Tatis Jr. deal further exposes #Cubs ownership bullshit in crying poor  | Did Kris Bryant just dis Theo Epstein?  |  After just one year, Marquee Network already in reruns  |  #SFGiants facing major decisions with pending free agents to be  |  #Tigers Miguel Cabrera could enter exclusive 3000/500 Club in 2021  |  Angel Hernandez and the New York Mets continue to create the best Shit We Couldn't Make Up  | Johnny Damon is an asshole

2021 rules include 7-inning doubleheaders and runners on base in extra innings  |  Jake Arrieta nostalgic signing example of #Cubs' conflicted offseason planning  |  La Russa's top concern to remain 'Hall of Famer Baseball Person'  |  PECOTA projections send Twittersphere into tizzy  |  There are no bad 1-year deals for #Tigers #SFGiants  |  Bad Tweets: Nightengale/Heyman continue to set new standards for incompetence  |  ASKHOLE: What if #WhiteSox had moved to Tampa in 1990? When will Tigers return to glory?  | AOTW: Most despised teammates in baseball history

Joc Pederson takes less money to join Cubs over Sox  |  Nolan Arenado tips NL Central balance of power  |  Twins overpay for aging Nelson Cruz  |  ASKHOLE: Why will Baez/Bryant return to prominence? No Plan B for Sox if La Russa fails?  |  $hit$how 2.0: Don't buy the Owners' clickbait  |  Bad Tweets LIVE   |  Mickey Callaway is an asshole

Cubs fans, pundits, and even Kris Bryant are upset about the current direction of the franchise  |  White Sox don't need to sign Nelson Cruz  |  Giants signing Tommy LaStella just another example of trying to be a little bit pregnant  |  Tigers are the new Farm System Champions  |  Is it time to abolish the Hall of Fame?  |  NEW SEGMENT #1: Bob Nightengale's Bad Tweets  | Shitshow 2.0: Owners now working back channels to hide duplicitous agenda  |  NEW SEGMENT #2: ASKHOLE  |  Asshole of the Week: Jared Porter and his naked, erect penis

#Cubs #WhiteSox #SFGiants #Tigers #MLB

Cubs only have themselves to blame for lopsided Yu Darvish trade  |  White Sox hot stove heats up with Yoelqui Céspedes and Adam Engel signings  |  Tony La Russa is lucky he's a rich and famous old white guy  |  In a year replete with worthy candidates, Commissioner Rob Manfred runs away with our second-annual Asshole of the Year award

Busy White Sox trade for Lance Lynn and sign Adam "Spanky" Eaton  |  Marquee Network Drama: The Search for Kasper's Successor  |  Risky Business: MLB umpire arrested in human trafficking sting  |  Asshole of the Week: MLB wins their fucking War on Minor League Baseball

Like rats on a sinking ship, Theo Epstein and now Len Kasper are getting fuck out of the Friendly Confines  |  Kris Bryant's gonna get traded so deal with it  |  Non-tender deadline casualties litter both sides of Chicago  |  White Sox should trade for Blake Snell  |  Drinky La Ru will plead guilty to sweep his issues under the rug ASAP  |  Robinson Cano was a Hall of Famer, now he's just an Asshole

Tony La Russa was charged with DUI the day BEFORE Sox announced him as their new manager  |  José Abreu earns AL MVP, just as we called it  |  Jon Lester got fired and bought Chicago a round of beers  |  December 2 may be a day that will live in infamy  |  AJ Hinch hiring ushers in a new era in Tigers history  |  A theory on why Rob Manfred failed to punish Justin Turner for his reckless behavior

Shit just got real, folks. Despite all logic and public scorn, Jerry Reinsdorf has decided the 76-year old Tony La Russa will be his next manager. Yet another move that undermines the legitimacy of Rick Hahn as General Manager, who clearly wanted no part of this bizarre decision.  

Wild and weird #WorldSeries recap | Asshole of the Week: Justin Turner  |  White Sox & Tigers managerial searches ramp up  |  Marquee Network Drama: The Disappointing Sequel  |  Which 2020 MLB rules changes should we keep?  |  2021 free-agent market looking rather thin  |  Gold Glove awards are bullshit

Renteria and Coop feel the Wrath of Hahn, chaos ensues  |  Tony La Russa? Are you fucking kidding me??  |  More manager candidates emerge with varying degrees of plausibility  |  Postseason Talk: Can we just get to a Rays/Braves World Series already?  |  Strip Club Knife Fight: hair metal band name or a night out with Tommy Pham?  |  Billy Beane applies Moneyball to European lawn sport

Cubs predictably flame out again — maybe a bit TOO predictably?  |  Top 5 questions for the White Sox offseason  |  A look at the Tigers managerial options  |  A strange postseason continues without us  |  Asshole of the Week: David Kaplan

A panicking Renteria blew any chance the Sox had  |  Cubs are still suffering from premature cancellation issues  |  MLB postseason rife with anomalies and injuries  |  Crosstown Series Recap: Now who owns Chicago?  |  Asshole of the Week: Jimmy "Tough Guy" Cordero  |  More funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up

Our thoughts entering a Crosstown Series that feels much stranger than expected  |  Renteria is now clearly costing the Sox wins  |  Cubs offensive production is offensive (and chronic)  |  A sad, but fond farewell to Tigers manager Ron Gardenhire  |  Giants playoff hopes in the balance  |  We name our All-A*Holes Team from the best players from our 4 clubs  |  Ozzie Guillen should be managing in MLB  |  Shit We Couldn't Make Up: 2020 has been full of statical anomalies and bizarre fan behavior  |  Asshole of the Week: Angel Hernandez (again)

White Sox are FINALLY back in the fucking playoffs!  |  Heyward's homer turns Cubs' season around  |  Mills delivers MLB's second no-hitter  | Wildfires fuck with Giants schedule  |   Asshole of the Week: journalist Bob Nightengale is terrible at journalism  |  Tigers' Candelario wins AL Player of the Week  |  Drone delay at Wrigley just more Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  Booze banned for postseason celebrations  |  ASSthetics: worst-to-best Sox uniform rankings

Dallas Keuchel's mysterious back injury looks like the only speed bump on their way to the playoffs  |  Congrats to Trevor Bauer for shoving it up Cubs' asses in a meaningless game  | The Javy Baez Excuse Machine keeps churning out bullshit  |  Giants bats power playoff run  | Tigers lose 19-0 but are still in the playoff hunt and more Shit We Couldn't Make Up  | Asshole of the Week: "COVID" Joe West rears his fat, ugly head again

Honoring former White Sox and Hall of Fame legend, Tom Seaver  |  Cubs outfielders make history  |  SOXual Harassment: Rick Renteria's gut is giving PV indigestion  |  You’re lying if you had the Tigers at .500 past the halfway point  |  Giants suffering from pitching/offense role reversals  |  ASSthetics: Padres are on FIRE and so are their neo-retro uniforms  |  Aroldis Chapman's asshole legacy continues

Lucas Giolito Throws a NO-NO!  |  Rivalry Weeks Recap  |  Player of the Week: Jose Abreu  |  TRADE DEADLINE: Strategies & Targets  |  Cubs Rub: Javy Baez Struggles Due to Lack of Crowds  |  More Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  Asshole of the Week: Bruce Levine

Cubs/Cards, Tigers/Sox, Sox/Cubs, Cub/Tigers... OH MY!!  |  Mark Grace is the "dingbat"  |  Fernando Tatis Jr. should be on the South Side  |  More Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  Thom Brennaman wins Asshole of the Week in a landslide

Yu is not fucking around anymore  |  Rizzo adds some serious bling to his game  |  White Sox are righting the ship despite Rick Renteria's best efforts to fuck it all up  |  How to solve the growing Cardinals issue  |  ASSthetics of Baseball: Nike logo is ruining Tigers jersey  |  Why the fuck are the Astros picking fights??  |  Asshole(s) of the Week: Zach Plesac & Mike Clevinger

Cubs win our premature breakdown of the 2020 Cubs/Sox World Series | White Sox have made Chicago the "City of Bad Shoulders"  |  Public masturbation, brO-HIO hatred from Ozzie, terrible excuses from Jeter, and more of the funniest Shit We Couldn't Make Up  | Asshole of the Week: Cards president, John Mozeliak

BREAKING outbreak news is getting a little too close to home  |  Cubs offense and starters looking solid, but the bullpen is a fucking disaster  |  White Sox offense is potent despite questionable lineup construction  |  Tigers are leading baseball in homers... and strikeouts  |  Giants/YAZ using aerodynamics to their advantage?  |  #FreeJoeKelly  | Asshole of the Week: Miami Marlins

BREAKING Marquee Network News: Comcast deal is DONE and it's about fucking time  |  White Sox kicked the shit out of the Cubs this week, for what it's worth (not much)   |  What the Mookie Betts blockbuster deal means for the Cubs trying to resign Bryant/Baez  |  SOXual Harassment: No More Mazara?   |  TIGER SHIT: The Jordan Zimmerman Disaster and service time manipulation  |  Expanded playoffs made too much sense to pass up  |  Toronto can't play in Toronto and other Shit We Couldn't Make Up  |  The #CardboardPeteNeedsaSeat at Sox Park saga continues...   |  Asshole of the Week: The Cleveland Baseball Team