Relatively Normal

The image of the Black man in America has changed over time and continues to evolve. Historically, Black men have been subjected to negative stereotypes and discrimination, often portrayed as violent, dangerous, and intellectually inferior. These stereotypes were perpetuated through media representation, such as in films and television shows, and in everyday interactions.

However, in recent years, there has been a shift in the portrayal of Black men in the media and in popular culture. Black men are now being portrayed more positively, with more representation in film and television as complex, multifaceted individuals with a range of emotions and experiences.

There has also been a growing recognition of the impact of systemic racism and discrimination on Black men, including the ways in which it can lead to economic disadvantage, social isolation, and negative health outcomes.

Despite these changes, Black men continue to face significant challenges in American society, including higher rates of incarceration, police brutality, and economic inequality. Efforts to address these issues and create a more equitable society for all are ongoing.

For these reasons, I have invited 2 of my close friends, Bobby Shelley and Kevin McIntyre, to the show to discuss the current state of the black man in America. Also, I just wanted to have a conversation with two black fathers who are raising black sons and show the world that this is our normal: black men giving back to society, being positive role models and working hard everyday to become better versions of themselves.

Finally, this will be my last show for awhile. I am taking a break to focus on the 6AM Run podcast. Also, I wanted to take some time to decide where I want this show to go and if it has possibly run its course. Thanks again for all your support.

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

How do you turn pain into power? How do you unlock that part of your mind that allows you use all trauma and negativity you have experienced and use it as fuel to build a prosperous and successful future? If you have ever asked yourself these questions, I have the perfect therapist and coach for you. 

Vin Infante has been featured in Forbes, NY Weekly, International Business Times, Entrepreneur and a few other places discussing how people can create massive shifts in thinking while also highlighting what he does with his hybrid coaching services. Through his decade of combined experience as a licensed psychotherapist, a firefighter, business owner, and mindset coach he's earned a few things about what it truly takes to own your life.

He has helped thousands of people over his time in service to others; and what he loves to share his personal stories of how he overcame adversity and how he turned pain into power.

Please support what he does by visiting his website at: https://www.vincentinfante.life/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

With all the research being done on all the different diets available, how do we know which one could work for you? Should I eat meat, should I eat organic, should I eat carbs, PLEASE MAKE IT ALL STOP.  For everyone going through these same emotions, I may be able to help. 

Nicole Laurent is a Metabolic Mind Award recipient (2022) and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the state of Washington. She has additional training in the use of functional nutrition and ketogenic diets as a treatment for mental illness and neurological issues.  With many years of experience providing behavioral, cognitive-behavioral, and dialectical-behavior therapy she is well-positioned to assist with the emotional and behavioral changes involved in the healing process.

She has additional post-graduate level education in functional nutrition and specifically in therapeutic carbohydrate restriction (fancy name for ketogenic diets) as an evidence-based treatment for mental illness and neurological disorders. She has transition people to it all the time and they have seen some amazing results!

Please support what she does by visiting her website at: https://mentalhealthketo.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

Relationships are hard. 

Or.....do we just make them that way? If you're like me, you will read every book, listen to every TED talk and relate to every meme in an attempt to get your relationship where you want it to be.  What if, just for a moment, we did something so extraordinary, so unthinkable and so "out there" that could change your luck in no time at all: what is we communicated?

I know what you're thinking; "Marc, are you freaking crazy????? Talking and expressing our emotions in an empathetic and constructive way is sooooo hard.  How do I even know how and when to start?" 

Well, you are in luck.

Dr. Mahsa Hojat-Khoshniyat is a clinical social worker, therapist and founder and partner of Heal and Thrive Psychotherapy and Coaching. Her experience includes 12 years of helping people improve and repair their relationships. In her work, she assists individuals and couples with overcoming anxiety, sadness, fear, isolation, inability to trust or build meaningful relationships. If you are having distresses due to relationships at home, work, with the family or being unable to connect with others, she wants to help! 

Please support what she does by visiting her website at: https://www.heal-thrive.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

When it comes to relationships, the health of the relationship, the mental health of each partner and the possibility to the relationship lasting, we would be foolish not to talk about SEX. Yes, that 3-letter word that everyone takes part but no one talks about.  Until now.  Today, I welcome Elena Zaharova and Anfisa Savchenko, co-founders of the Purpur app, to the show. 

At one point, Elena and Anfisa worked in the cosmetics industry.  Together, they decided to leave the brand they had been working in to create their own sex product just before the pandemic started. First, they wanted it to be a store, but soon they realised that people had to stay together because of the lockdown and deal with misunderstandings so they wanted to help. 

Purpur is a sex & relationships app, which helps people communicate openly about their desires, worries and discuss sensitive topics of money, abortions, family planning, open relations, etc. The two women believe that open and honest communication is the key to strong healthy relationships. The app is set up as a card game with questions, which allows partners yo initiate open conversation on important topics and prevent conflicts. They believe that if more people used Purpur and discussed sensitive questions in the form of a game, there would be more love and understanding. 

Please support what they do by visiting their website and downloading the app. https://feelpurpur.app/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

Coaches are important. Simple as that.  Some of the best memories I have from my childhood include my former coaches.  From my dad coaching my brother and me at 8 years old to my soccer coaches at Clemson - some of the most crucial life lessons I learned were from my coaches.  

As an adult, we can take this same approach when it comes to leadership and mentorship.  Austin Wheeler does just that.  He is a fitness professional that doesn't just stop there.  He works with career oriented fathers all over the country on balancing life, getting stronger, and eating cleaner - all while you and your family still continue to enjoy your favorite meals. 

Please support what he does by visiting his website https://form.jotform.com/austingwheeler22/application-

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

How do we recover from our past? How do we take the steps needed to prioritize our mental health, continue our personal journeys and make sure we are not just giving our time and energy to those around us, but also setting up our own support systems?  All great questions and that is why I am speaking to Kinesiologist, Mentor, Archetypal Life Coach, Mother, and Author, Amanda Kate.

Amanda describes herself as a "recovering people-pleaser and self-flagellator." However, the work she is doing now supports others in their journeys in self-care and healing. Her story is amazing and includes trauma, abuse, misdiagnoses, and so much more.  Through all this, she has written her first book: Divine. Messy. Human. 

This book contains the tools and techniques she has discovered and used in her own healing to turn her life around. She has gone from being unwell, out of alignment and miserable to happiness, vitality and connection to the Divine.

Please support what she does by visiting her website https://www.amandakate.com.au/

Also, if you share this episode on any social media platform and tag either this show or Amanda, you will enter drawing for your own copy of her book. Use #relativelynormalpodcast 

https://www.amazon.com/Divine-Messy-Human-Spiritual-Prioritising-ebook/dp/B0B1M7FG1L?ref_=ast_sto_dp

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2022 was amazing and I hope that 2023 will continue to bless you with success and fortune.  

Are you looking to make a change this year? Are you looking for that "passion project" that will not only fulfil a void in your life but also stimulate your mind? Well, if you have listened to this show in the past, you know how much I am against New Year's Resolutions. They are usually too big and put too much pressure on a person.  This leads to a high percentage of failure.  However, of you are looking for a story about someone who found their correct path in life after a tour on the corporate scene, look no further than Avital Miller. 

Her background includes working as a program manager at Microsoft, lead coach for Success Resources America, sales and marketing director for Crystal Clarity Publishers, yoga and fitness teacher trainer, fitness director, and ordained minister. However, for over fifteen years Avital has been serving thousands of people worldwide as an award-winning international keynote speaker, best-selling author, neuro-linguistic programming practitioner, healing breakthrough facilitator, and global dancer.

Ms. Miller has been called her the "Energizer Bunny" and for good reason: not only does she seem to have boundless energy but she has a beautifully dynamic style that will get your audience's hearts and bodies up and moving!  She helps her audiences breakthrough their limiting mindsets, understand what is truly holding them back, and take charge of their lives.

Please support what she does by visiting her website www.avitalmiller.com

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

Happy Holidays! I hope each and every one of you had an amazing Christmas and are looking forward to the new year! The word of today is: ENERGY.  The energy you put out is usually the energy you receive. I am learning this fact more and more each day.  That is why I am so happy to introduce Vitality coach, Yoga instructor and all-around bad a$$, Megan Nolan. 

Megan helps success driven women press pause on their busy lives to go from frantic and frazzled to calm and confident fast!  She is the creator of the Warrior's Journey that combines the tools of Yoga, movement, breath work, and mental fitness to help her clients feel AMAZING from the inside out.

She is funny and insightful and has lots of great tips to share from her over 17 years of experience as a personal trainer and yoga instructor. 

Please support what he does by visiting his website https://www.megan-nolan.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610.

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

The mind-body connection is an extremely important part of the human experience.  Within holistic healing, treating the underlying issues rather than just focusing on the symptoms is the key factor in the comprehensive approach to helping a person feel whole again.  That is where my guest, Lyn Delmastro-Thomson, comes in. 

Lyn is a certified hypnotherapist and a mind-body medicine practitioner, using the healing systems of BodyTalk and Body Intuitive. She is also a speaker and author of the Amazon Best Seller, You Are Not Your Diagnosis. Lyn holds a master’s degree in somatic psychology and has completed additional specialized training in biofeedback, therapeutic yoga, and Reiki.

After being misdiagnosed with leukemia at the age of 25, Lyn became passionate about sharing with the world her message that just because a doctor has said an illness is "chronic" or "incurable" doesn't mean that it has to be a life sentence, and that western medicine isn't the only approach to healing. When we explore other holistic options, true healing, rather than symptom management, can occur.

Through her one-on-one work with clients over the past ten years, Lyn has helped hundreds of women reclaim their lives and health after receiving a life-changing health diagnosis. Many of her clients have been able to decrease or eliminate certain prescription medications,  as well as increase their energy and stamina.

Please support what he does by visiting his website https://heartfirehealingllc.com/schedule-a-discovery-call-consultation/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing, supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order! 

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. 

Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

What if I told you all the answers to every question you had about health and happiness?  What if I was able to explain the ways we can all be successful in life, successful in fitness, better human beings and overall better at living the life we want to live?  I think it is obvious I cannot do that, but if I could, the answers would probably be more simple than you expect.  

What if the answer to most of your fatigue or headaches was your salt intake?  And when I say salt intake - I mean you're not getting enough.  What if I say the reason you feel so run down is due to your poor gut health?  Again, the answers to your questions might be right in front of your eyes.  

These are some of the reasons I wanted to have a discussion with Joel Evan.  He is an Integrative Health Practitioner, health coach, podcast host and a new member of the 40 club.  Joel helps his clients get to the root cause of their issues, whether it's weight loss, gut health, or even something more serious like autoimmune conditions, so that they can start living the best version of themselves. I should also mention that Joel is a ball of energy, loves what he does and is a Cali transplant living in the great state of Idaho. 

Please support what he does by visiting his website https://joelevancoaching.ck.page/ffdb6262c6

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

One of the greatest things I learn from the guests on this show is all the ways we can help ourselves and help others.  On this episode, I chat with Yoga Therapist, Annisa Hudak, on the ways she uses Yoga Therapy to guide others in the use of effective, science based methods and other holistic techniques for the management/healing of symptoms relating to PTSD and trauma for people who want to control their PTSD - not allow it to control them.

Anissa's life has been intertwined with PTSD/Trauma and the military. Not only is she the daughter of a Vietnam Veteran, she was also married to an active duty member (and Iraq/Afghanistan Veteran) for over 20 years. For 3 years, she volunteered at the Warrior Transition Battalion at Fort Riley, Kansas providing yoga therapy, meditation, and other holistic treatments to the soldiers, family members, and staff. After seeing others struggle, and having her own personal struggles with trauma/PTSD, she was inspired to create the Trauma Healing Yoga Therapy Program.
 

Recently, she has focused her efforts to working with women who have been sexually traumatized to help them heal their PTSD (and other trauma related issues) with yoga therapy. As a 2x rape survivor, she intimately understand the needs these women face, and help them navigate their healing journeys.

Please support what she does by visiting her website https://www.traumahealingyoga.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

What does it mean to be a Man? Are we allowed to show weakness? Fear? Vulnerability? Can we utter the words, "I just don't have it today?" A lot of us think we can't say or do these things because that goes against everything we have been taught.  

That is why I wanted to speak to Keith.

Keith Gilmore writes primarily on culture, ethics, psychology, spirituality, philosophy, and psychedelics. His interest lies in understanding and addressing the tendency of our age towards cynicism, nihilism, finger-pointing, and disconnection, and discovering and exploring methods for interconnection, healing, and reinvigorating culture with spirit.  He is the co-founder of Texture Life Coaching, one of the top ranked psychedelic integration coaching programs in the country. 

Keith also co-created The Integrated Man, a community-oriented program for helping men get into alignment and reconnecting them with their purpose. He facilitates the men's support group for the Portland Psychedelic Society, the largest psychedelic community in North America.

Please support what he does by visiting his website @ https://keithgilmore.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

In 1974, Dr. Herbert J. Freudenberger, a German-born American psychoanalyst, coined the term Burnout to describe symptoms of exhaustion and mental malaise. He delved into the underlying roots of burnout and outlined proven methods to alleviate the condition. Unfortunately, in 2022, some people still don't believe it exists.  Some people will just complain that people aren't working hard enough or that they don't really understand the sacrifice it takes to be a valued employee.  That is where my guest this week, Dr. Hollie Sturgeon, comes in. 

Dr. Sturgeon is an Orlando-based clinical pharmacist and author with over a decade of helping patients & colleagues overcome symptoms of burnout.  She uses a combination of self-discovery and the science of play to guide people from burnout to baseline & beyond - one quest at a time. She is an experienced and compassionate guide for those on a recovery journey, having experienced and overcome burnout herself.

Hollie's super power is helping people "cut through the noise" to get to the heart of a problem.  Because she knows there is no one-size-fits-all cure for burnout, she advocates for honest self-reflection and discovery as the key to reclaiming one's pre-burnout self. 

Please support what she does by visiting her website @ https://www.burnoutdrhollie.com/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

Two simple words Everyone Struggles.  Easy to understand; hard to quantify.  When we start to understand that everyone on this planet has their bad days - you know, those days when the dryer eats one of our favorite socks, those days when we leave the house 5 minutes early but somehow arrive 15 minutes late, those days when your dog ACTUALLY eats your homework - you know, just one of THOSE days.  When we understand that regardless of your lease in life, you will struggle, it is then that people, especially leaders, can flex those empathy muscles and treat people with the respect and care they deserve.

And that is where my guest this week comes in. 

Jason Hopcus is a motivator and catalyst for cultural change within organizations. He believes that connection to one’s self, one’s transparency and one’s passion to connect, allows individuals to live a wholly authentic, full life. He creates systems of people working to deepen their relationships to their work, their play, and ultimately our world. He presently serves as non-profit President/CEO of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) of Arapahoe/Douglas Counties and is Founder of the Connection Project, a for-profit company.

Jason’s mission is to advance human connection by embracing the conversation of fighters; the folks whose journeys from black to light give hope to those that deserve a 2nd or even a 3rd chance to be the ambassadors of conversation. The present narrative about mental health is often perpetuated through sad, scary, or traumatic events, which typically overlooks individuals who are simply struggling with functional life issues. The Connection Project takes a fresh approach by focusing on those who have turned their personal struggle around to champion for a community-driven cause. Through the raw focus on the individual, Jason nourishes honest conversation to birth a system of ‘next level’ social responsibility.

Please support what he does by visiting his website @ https://realpeoplereallife.org/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

How do you describe yourself to others? Do you lead with your job title? Your generational title? Your race, gender or ethnicity? The reason I ask is because how we describe ourselves says a lot about what is important to us.  I would like to introduce you to Dai Manuel.  This is how he describes himself:

Dai Manuel is a super dad, dating his wife, with a lead by example way of living and a contagious personality, who is on a mission to positively impact one million role models around the globe to lead a FUN-ctionally fit life through education, encouragement, and community.  He is an award-winning digital thought leader and author, Distinguished Toastmaster & keynote speaker, former partner and Chief Operating Officer of a multi-million dollar retail company, and a sought after lifestyle mentor and executive performance coach.

He knows the struggle of the juggle and keeping his health and happiness a priority. He models his work based on 5 F’s: Fitness, Family, Faith, and Finances with an overarching roof of FUN, built on a rock-solid foundation of Health. Nuggets of wisdom and inspiration to take action to be your best self are guaranteed when you connect with Dai!

Let me say this, Dai is a ball of energy.  He decided a long time ago that he was going to live life to the fullest, be the best dad and husband he could be and do everything in his power to leave this world a better place than it was when he got here.  He wants to create open spaces for men to be vulnerable - just as I do with this show. 

Please listen to his TEDx Talk "Why Vulnerability is a Human Thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUZc_fNNCV0&t=4s

And visit his youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/wholelifefitnessmanifesto

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

What do you really know about Schizophrenia? Have you used incorrectly in a sentence or phrase in your life?  Do you just throw it out there to describe the mental state of your favorite movie or TV villian?  Have you ever known anyone with the disease?  Well, that is why I invited Matthew Dickson to be a guest on the show. 

Matthew led an average childhood, and during his university years, unbeknownst to him, he was developing schizophrenia. Now that he has lived with the disease for over 20 years, he is helping people with mental illness in developing countries so they can get access to basic mental health care. His organization, Mind Aid, steers people towards 7 nonprofits using these models of basic mental health care, which are low-cost, proven effective, and scalable. Some of these groups are promoted by Zak Williams (son of Robin Williams), Bill Clinton, Forest Whitaker (of "Star Wars"), Ashley Judd, and Tim Shriver (founder of the Special Olympics). Highlights of Matthew's inspirational story include bicycling across Canada and successfully recovering from schizophrenia.

Please follow and support what Matthew is doing by visiting https://www.mindaid.ca/ 

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order! 

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

One of the biggest issues facing our children is bullying.  A recent study found that 1 in 5 kids are the victims of bullying.  That is why my guest, Dr. Nghi Dang, decided to write and illustrate the book series, The Adventures of Max and Friends, to assist kids and parents with talking about this important topic. The series follows Max as he navigates through school, friendships, bullying and trying to speak to his parents about it. 

Dr. Dang was born in Vietnam but grew up in Southern California. His family moved to the states when he was 7 years old. As an immigrant, he shared the same struggles as many other immigrants with adjusting to a new norm and dealing with bullying, discrimination, and constantly having to self-validate while fighting off depression.  Having been in practice for over 10 years as a Family Physician, he realized that his struggles are shared by many of his patients.

You can support him and read his message by purchasing his book and visiting https://www.theadventuresofmaxandfriends.org/

This show is brought to you by 6am Run & 6amrun.com: "6AM Run believes in improving everyone's physical ability to not only have motion, but STAY IN MOTION. All this while creating an amazing supportive, surrounding community.” Use the link http://6amrun.refr.cc/relativelynormal for 20% off of your order!

This show is owned and produced under Relatively Normal LLC, control #22174610. Guest are found through podmatch.com and recorded through riverside.fm.

On this 100th episode of the show, we will discuss some changes happening in my life and the process of reframing.  Reframing is a technique used to shift your mindset so you're able to look at a situation, person, or relationship from a slightly different perspective. If you listened to episode 97 "I Forgot About Me," you would know that I was looking at my career in a very passionate yet destructive way.  I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping and I continually could not get out of my rut.  I was burnt out and stressed.  But, I changed my perspective and looked at my career for what it was - a means to an end.  A way to make money and somehow try to find some joy.  

However, I started looking for and finding joy in other things: my family, this show, my hobbies and my physical fitness.  In this episode, I talk about some examples of things in our life that we can reframe from sleep to food to working out.  Reframing is a good way to put things that trigger us into perspective, but it takes work. HARD WORK. You may need to speak to someone or seek out a therapist.  But, take it from me, it will be worth every second.

See you next season!

Ok, you should probably get naked at the right time and in the right place...........and around the right people, but preferably alone.  But, I wanted to make this episode as I have started to use nudity as a tool to assist with my mental health, my body image issues and with my appreciation for the body I was given.  I do ask this from all that are listening to this episode - try not to always equate nudity with sexuality or erotisicm.  Use the act of stripping out of our clothes as an act of mindfulness and leaving the weight of the world behind.  Being alone and naked can help us really stay in the moment and enjoy the skin we are in.

Also, nudity has plenty of other benefits that include: Helping with sleep issues, improving skin, strengthening bones and muscles, improving intimacy and improving self-esteem. And, while you are spending your naked and alone time, you should take a look at yourself in the mirror.  The society we live in has made many of us self-conscious and filled with self-hate.  The moment we can start to accept our bodies, regardless of size, is the moment we can start to appreciate how unique and beautiful we are.  

I hope that you can take the time to strip down, appreciate the body you were given and continue this journey of self-love and learn to always Protect Your Peace!

I know, I know, I know - the last show was not great to listen to.  Believe me, it was not easy to record.  But, there is good news - I have bounced back with some help from an unlikely source - a 6-year-old little girl.  While on a family vacation, she gave me some of the best advice I had ever heard in my life and she didn't even know.  

On this week's episode, I talk about 2 unique but similar things: Being intentional with finding your happiness and Protecting Your Peace.  I have been working on both lately and, I must say, it has put me in a headspace that I have not been to in a long time.  I want to thank all the people that reached out to me and asked about how I was doing, I want to thank everyone who sent texts with words of encouragement and I finally want to thank everyone that listened to me vent my frustrations.  I love and appreciate all of you. 

I know, I know, I know - it's been awhile since I have recorded an episode.  I apologize - but I have a reason.  Well, the reason is......I forgot about me.  I forgot to prioritize my time, my emotions and my mental health. Work has been busy and life has gotten in the way.  I need to make changes. And I am going to.  On this week's show, I really open and up and show my vulnerability. Lately, I have been a mess and I have tried to do too much and put the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.  I am burnt out, I am stressed and I can't see anything in front of me other than heartache and stress.  I have suffered from chest pains, headaches, exhaustion, the inability to sleep and countless other issues.  I am happy to say that I have a family vacation coming up where I hope to decompress, have some fun and reconnect with my wife and kids.

If you have had these same issues, please talk to someone, forgive yourself, and set some plans in place to prioritize your health.  You are worth it.

March is here and that means we are celebrating Women's History Month.  To celebrate this, I have asked my friend and colleague, Dion Spencer, to join me on the show to talk about purpose.  Dion works very hard in her career but once the office hours are over, she works to assist other women find their purpose in life.  When COVID started, she wanted to connect with people like her so she could facilitate emotional and spiritual connections and foster growth.  In the journey, she started a FaceBook group, All U Need In A Real Sister-Friend, to give women a judgement-free place to share experiences, gain and give knowledge, and find support when needed. That group is up to 1,000 members.

As she states, Dion continually has a growth mindset and wants to show others her continuing journey.  She works every day to constantly forgive herself, hit that reset but and find her purpose. I hope you enjoy.  

We currently live in a society where people feel obligated to always speak up.  Some people feel like their opinion is always welcomed, always appreciated and always wanted.  As most of us know, this is not the case and we may need to teach people the fine art of minding their own business.  Now, what does this have to do with mental health and awareness? Well, words matter.  Opinions matter.  The way we interact with others matter.  And the way show and give respect matters.  When the people we communicate with always have to protect their own feelings because you can't learn to just listen and possibly stay quiet, those people start to not want to associate with you.  If those people are your kids, they become distant or learn toxic habits that will affect them in the future. 

Sometimes, like I said, it may be best to just mind your own d*** business.

On this week's show, I welcome Licensed Nurse Practitioner, Bret Weigman to the show to speak about the current mental state of the nursing and medical community.  As we all know, we have been going through the COVID-19 pandemic for 3 years and it has taken a toll on everyone.  One group that has been hit the hardest is the medical community and a lot of that has nothing to do with the actual virus.  A lot of the mental toll has to do with misinformation and downright lies by a part of the population who refuse to listen to experts and medical officials.  This has caused numerous nurses and doctors to be assaulted at their jobs and forced to quit a profession that they love because of the trauma and abuse they take on a day to day basis.

I really appreciate the level of care that Bret gives all of his patients regardless of their beliefs because he not only loves his job, but he loves helping people who need his care.  I hope we can all try to be more like him.

So last week, I started a new medication.  I am now taking a daily prescribed dose of Adderall each day for my ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  I had been going back and forth for a long time on when I should broach the subject with my doctor.  After having honest conversations with multiple therapists, I took the plunge.  

I can't think of a better way to explore this new journey in my life other than bringing Dr. Joseph Elfar back to the show to discuss all things ADHD.  He is currently a resident psychiatrist working in the New Jersey area. He is recently married and about to start his 3rd year of residency. 

Did you know about 6.1 million children in the United States (9.4 percent) between ages 2 to 17 are estimated to have ever been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? And, the worldwide prevalence of adult ADHD is estimated at 2.8 percent, according to a 2016 study.  To be totally honest, I really did not know that much about this medical condition so I wanted to ask a psychiatrist about it - so that's what I am doing.

If you've ever had any questions about ADHD, the symptoms, and some treatment options, Dr. Elfar will answer a few.

Disclaimer: This show is just for educational purposes.  If you have specific questions about any medical conditions, please consult with your personal doctor or a licensed therapist. 

Happy MLK day to all of you.  Dr. King was an amazing man that taught love and peace while trying to move civil rights forward for so many less fortunate people in this country.  Unfortunately, many of his teachings have not been followed, especially in corporate America.  So many companies will post quotes from the late Civil Rights activist, but their moneys and actions will not follow in the same footsteps.  This needs to change.

On this week's show, I welcome Quila Pugh to speak on these specific topics.  Quila and I met a few months ago after she organized a great discussion about Native Americans and I was immediately hooked on her message and perseverance.  On this show, we discuss the empty promises of some of the larger companies in America that see diversity and inclusion as a nice thing to put in a posting but not really worth throwing effort into. We talk about how this affects her and others that look and feel like her.

I can honestly say this was one of my favorite discussions since starting this show.  Quila is not only accurate in her descriptions but also passionate and we could all learn a lot from her. 

What is one thing that most humans do (multiple times), it gives us a lot of pleasure, some pain, can make or break relationships, and we talk about it the least? SEX.  You know: Good, ole' fashion love makin', coitus, canoodling, intercourse, banging, so on and so forth.  For an action that has so  many words to describe it, we talk about it the least.  

Well, this is where Marital and Family Therapist, Parisa Frost comes in.  Parisa has worked both internationally and domestically in Buenos Aires and Los Angeles to assist couples and individuals with bringing greater understanding into their identities, past traumas, relationships, and sexual issues using creativity, clarity, and cultural humility. 

Parisa was nice enough to be a guest on the show and talk about topics ranging from gaining that spark back in the bedroom to dealing with past sexual trauma.  She uses her platform to make the conversation about sex and sexual function more mainstream and acceptable.  We had a great discussion.

On this week's show, I welcome my good friend and colleague, Lawton Swann, back to the show.  Lawton is the host and creator of Clemson Sports Talk.  This week we discuss the mental aspect of playing sports at the highest levels.  Being in the media, Lawton gets to interact with college athletes and coaches in a unique way.  He sees things that others really don't.  Lawton shares his insights on how the pandemic has changed sports over the last 20 months, how coaches have started to focus on the mental health of their athletes and how a coaches job should be focused on more than just wins and losses.

It is always a pleasure talking with Lawton.  He is very insightful and does his homework.  Go check out his show and follow his journey at clemsonsportstalk.com

To all of us trying to start something new, it can be a frustrating process.  All the emotions and feelings running through our minds can be so rough that we may just decide not to start.  On this week's show, I talk to my good friend and fellow Clemson Alum, Bryan Williams about those specific things.  As long as I've known Bryan, there have been 2 things that have been quite evident - he was a humble human being and he LOVES music.  That is why over a year ago, he started thaempireradio.com to bring the best of old school hip-hop and r&b to every computer and smartphone in the world.  

Bryan, who is a former Clemson Track and Field athlete,  and I take this time to talk about his frustrations of starting something he loves and uses the perfect racing analogy of being on the starting line and either deciding to run or not.  I think you will get a lot out of our discussion and remember, if you are wanting to start something new in your life, boil your decision down to the only 2 choices you really have: you can either run or not.

Having and learning empathy can be hard enough but what do we do when we have empathy for some but not for others? For many of us, it is easy to have empathy for people that look like us but not as easy for other groups.  Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily, but being in denial about it may be a bad thing. In this episode, I talk about how we can notice this tendency in our everyday life and work to make it a little bit better.  I do not, and I repeat, I DO NOT want anyone to feel bad about how they think and feel, I just want us all the try everyday to be better versions of ourselves.  

How many times in your life did you try to convince yourself not to be happy. Probably never. But on the other hand, how many times have we tried to force ourselves to be happy if we're feeling sad and depressed? Why do we do this? We put on this tough exterior and try to say over and over again it's OK just be happy and these feeling will go away. But here's the honest truth: when we hide our feelings, when we mask our emotions, we do more harm than good. We can become distant, we can strain relationships and we can even create more issues and more anxiety than we had before. In this week's episode, I talk about how to be real with ourselves and why we should always validate our feelings and help others validate their own.  

A great reference for this show can be found at https://www.powerofpositivity.com/hide-feelings-happen/

We all care about what others think of us.  But when does this start to affect our mental health?  Don't get me wrong, knowing what others think of us is a good personal barometer of how we live our lives; however, it should not be the sole reason why we do the things we do or act a certain way.  In this episode, I suggest that you ask yourself 2 questions when thinking about the opinions that others have of you:

1. Why does this person's opinion of me matter so much, 

and

2.  Does my opinion of myself matter more than theirs?

I believe, if we have honest conversations with ourselves and answer those questions, then we can finally start the journey we need to go on so we can learn to cope with our feelings and protect our own mental health.

What we experience in childhood can affect us for the rest of our lives.  If that experience includes trauma, the effects can not only be damaging but also long lasting.  On this week's show, I invite my good friend, Dr. David Pfaff back on the show. David works daily with patients that have to fight every day to overcome the effects of childhood trauma.  From his own words, most of the people that meet him for therapy are victims of some kind of childhood trauma.  

While speaking, Dr. Pfaff also introduces the audience to the ACE test which allows a person to score their possibility of childhood trauma.  This test is a great way to start the difficult conversation of a possible history of childhood trauma.  

We all know this is a tough subject and many people don't want to blame their parents for anything that could be wrong in their present life.  However, as David puts it - this is not about blaming anyone, this is about taking responsibility and doing everything we can to better ourselves.  

You can learn more about Dr. Pfaff at his website:

https://dspcounseling.com/

On this week's show, I welcome Antoine Noble of We Got Next Sports to talk about his organization and how they are working to change the lives of young people in the New York area.  He created this organization to give kids an affordable option to play elite sports.  He focuses on low income and high crime areas to make sure that young people get the proper coaching, leadership and mentorship that is needed to become successful adults.  His work is so vital to changing the lives of so many young people.  Please check out his website and support this great organization. 

https://www.wegotnextsports.org/

https://www.instagram.com/realwegotnext/

https://www.facebook.com/WeGotNextSports

This week, I received a few phone calls from some friends just checking in to see how I was doing.  One call in particular stuck out as we hadn't spoken in a couple years.  It my was from my friend, Bobby, who was just calling to let me know that he appreciated my friendship and wanted me to know.  This was such an amazing phone call and I implore everyone to reach out to someone that you may have lost touch with to let them know how much they mean to you.  

We all grow up and go on different paths.  It's normal that we may grow apart and not speak as much as we used to.  However, that does not mean we lose or forget the memories that we have of our relationships.  Don't be afraid to reach out to someone and tell him how much they meant to you, the positive role they played in your life and let them know how they positively affect your mental health!

No one ever wants to hear the words "You're being demoted." Whatever the situation is or the reasoning behind it, those are incredibly tough words.  However, many of us hear those words in our professional lives and how we react and respond can go a long way into shaping our future.  On this week's show, I welcome a long time friend, former boss and current mentor, Kevin Chavis of Farmers Insurance, to talk about his demotion.  Personally, that day was a rough one for me.  I cried and it felt like I was losing a friend.  Kevin talks openly about his experience going through a demotion and how he picked himself back up.  

Also, I must add, Kevin and I are really close friends and we bring a lot of levity to this conversation. This is your reminder to always find time to laugh and enjoy the time you spend with your friends.   

What do I know about dating in 2021? Nothing. Other than the fact that it must be mentally exhausting. Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to meet people, how to strike up a conversation and I am almost certain that my anxiety around the opposite sex that plagued me as a teenager would pop back up in my 40s. And that is why my guest this week is the perfect person to talk to you.  Tim Schroeder is a middle-aged, divorced father trying to make sense of the dating game.  And, if things weren't hard enough trying to find the right person while raising a child, 2020 and 2021 have brought us COVID and all the variants.  To some people, it probably feels like the world is trying to keep them lonely and single.  

I appreciate Tim's vulnerability in this episode as he opens up about how it feels to date in today's world.

Too many times, as men, we are expected to hold things in.  We are expected to always be stoic and a rock that others can depend on.  Even though a lot of us try our hardest to be this symbol of strength in our families and communities, it oftentimes leads to burnout, stress, anxiety and depression.  Many times, men do not have the tools necessary to express their emotions in an effective way and end up swallowing most of their grief.  I am here to tell you - this needs to stop.  We all need to understand that men have feelings too and need safe spaces and relationships to do this.  

On this week's show, I welcome a great friend, Karanja Ezekiel, to speak on this subject.  We met a few years ago and from the moment we met, the words and emotions flowed.  We were bonded by the fact that we wanted to be there for each other.  We wanted to be someone that the other person could trust with all of our thoughts and emotions.  We became such good friends in such a short amount of time that you would have thought we had known each other for decades.  I think you will really enjoy this episode.  

Warning: this episode does contain some colorful language.

Welcome back to the show!  It's great to be starting season 4 and what a show I have for you.  This week, I talk to Matt Ode.  Along with being a cancer survivor he is a motivational speaker, a purpose coach and a newly engaged man.  At the age of 24, he was diagnosed with cancer just as he was in the best physical shape of his life.  Through our discussion, Matt and I talk about the mental side of finding out he had cancer, battling the disease and then working hard through his recovery. Matt's story is amazing and I hope you get as much out of it as I did.  Please follow him on social media and share his message.

https://linktr.ee/matty_ode

https://www.facebook.com/groups/344127003577919/?ref=share

https://www.instagram.com/matty_ode/

In my ongoing discussion to learn and empathize with different people, I have a conversation this week with Mike Morton, a member of the LGTBQ community and a Christian.  Mike and I discuss his life growing up in the church and his life learning about his own sexuality and how he tries everyday to live through Jesus Christ as a gay man.  Mike's husband is the pastor of their church and they both understand by just being themselves, they are angering and certain group of people in America.  This is such a delightful conversation and I hope everyone has a chance to enjoy it.  

If you are a young Christian struggling with your sexuality, please know their are people who care about you and groups available to help you.  Please check out https://www.livingout.org/ to assist with any feelings you may be having.  As always, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 or Text GO to 741741 to reach a trained Crisis Counselor through Crisis Text Line.

On this week's show, I welcome Aleah Dutton, a 20-year-old junior from the University of Central Oklahoma, to the show.  On this episode, we have a conversation about the current mental state of the younger generation in present-day America. We can learn a lot from what this generation is doing.  They are tackling racial injustice, sexism, homophobia and so much else head-on. They are using their power to move the stock market, change social norms and doing all of this in real time as we all watch it unfold through social media.  Aleah does a great job of explaining her thoughts on the perceived "cancel-culture" and how she has become an ally for the mental well-being of men.  

If you have never listened to my show, this is a great one to start with.  In the past few episodes, I have spoken with an Asian-American, a Black-American, a member of the LGBTQ+ community and a female and asked about their current mental state in present-day America.  I hadn't spoken with a white male on this subject, yet.  On this show, I do just that.  But, what I got was a lot more.  Jon and I talked about allyship, growing up in middle-America, raising girls and even religion.  We talked about finding purpose and what he does each day to try to become a better parent and human being.  To say I was impressed would be an understatement.  It was such a pleasure having Jon on the show and I can't wait to have him back.  I hope people take from this episode the importance of having conversations and getting to know each other.  

I really don't want to keep talking about this but I feel that I must.  In the past few days, we have had to deal with the news of this killing of Duante Wright, the police interaction with Lt. Caron Nazario and the final days of the Derek Cauvin trial. Those are just a few of the many high profile run-ins that people of color have had with police that has circulated in the media in the last few days.  I am not going to lie to you - this is tough. I am frustrated, scared, exhausted and worried.  Everyday, I wonder if my name will be in the news.  I wonder if my family will have to say how nice of a person I was and how I loved my family.  And if they will have to beg for justice.  I hope not but I must ask the question, will this ever end?

In the growing divisive atmosphere of this country, it is only right that I have a conversation with a member of the Asian-American community.  Unfortunately, during this pandemic, we have seen a growing number of hate crimes against the Asian community due to hateful rhetoric and plain ignorance.  Just like I have mentioned for other marginalized groups, I want to be an ally and being an ally means talking and trying to empathize.  On this week's show, I talk with Allyna Nguyen, a Vietnamese-American about the current state of affairs in America and what the rest of us can do to assist and be better allies. 

I do this show because I like to shed light on a topic that is very important to me - Mental Health.  However, like I mention all the time, I am not a doctor.  It would be unwise and most likely illegal for me to give out any advice to others.  That is why, on this episode, I invited an actual doctor to speak with me about mental health and well-being and talk about the reasons he became a psychiatrist.  After finally building up the courage to ask Dr. Joseph Elfar if he would be on the show, he agreed and I couldn't be happier.  On this episode, we spoke about his background and what drives him to work in the mental health field.  He also eloquently explains the differences between psychologist and psychiatrist and how they work together to help the patient.  I hope you enjoy my conversation with him as much as I did.

Growth is not easy. That's it. Nothing more to explain. The process of continually improving and growing into a better person takes commitment. It takes honesty. It takes time and effort.  On this week's show, I have a conversation with Dawn Hays, Interim CPO at Root Insurance, to discuss what growth and improvement looks likes, how we can measure success and how we can deal with stress and burnout during the process. I appreciate Dawn's honesty about her own personal and professional growth and her openness to share how others can learn from her.  I appreciate every aspect of Dawn's vulnerability and her ability to frame her outlook in a way that is real and refreshing at the same time.

Have you found yourself struggling to get out of that rut or find happiness in the things you are doing?  Some things you may want to consider are finding the root cause of what is causing your pain and if you are finding any personal happiness in the things you are doing.  When we search for and find the root cause of our issues, it can be painful but lead to immense healing in our lives.  Also, when we start to prioritize our own happiness in the ventures we take, we can learn so much about ourselves.  I am here to tell you that your feelings are important and they should be important to you.  Also, as mentioned in the show, I just finished a great book that has helped me in my journey to self-discovery: Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty: 

https://thinklikeamonkbook.com/

I want to be an ally.  I want to be an ally to all groups of people that are discriminated against.  In my continued effort to do this, I have a chat with a member of the LGBTQ+ community, my friend Christina O'Leary.  Christina takes this time to open about her life and what she has gone through since her younger days.  She also speaks about what it was like growing up in the Catholic faith and her present relationship with the church.  This was such a good discussion and Christina gives some incredible advice and guidance to young people going through any struggle with their sexual identity.  I hope you enjoyed my conversation with her as much as I did.

What is the current mental state of the black man in present-day America?  I could say it myself but I would rather have an open and honest discussion with another black man so we can have a conversation that more of us could be having.  In this week's show, Julian and I discuss topics ranging from the effects of microaggressions to the ongoing relationship people of color have with law enforcement.  When you listen, I hope you have an open heart and an open mind and try your best to empathize with the message.  Julian shows his unique perspective on current (and not so current) events and the lingering results of injustice.  

Also, make sure you are reaching out to the people you care about.  Make a phone call, send a text, or write an email.  We need to do this more often to make sure we are taking care of the ones that mean the most to us.

In this week's show, I welcome Kiah Tiller, a body builder and co-owner of K2 Motions Stretch Therapy, to talk to me about body image.  As a person that shows her body for subjective judgment, I thought she would be the perfect guest to discuss this topic.  Let's be honest, we can't go to a store without seeing a magazine cover exclaiming how to get a "killer body in 2 weeks" or scroll through social media without seeing someone posing with the perfect abs or hair.  Trying to live to an unattainable body image goal can be debilitating.  My goal for this show is to give some insight on how to be more comfortable in your own skin while trying to maintain a healthy and positive lifestyle.  If you wanna learn more about Kiah and the joy she and her husband bring to the people of Eastern, GA, visit her website at https://stretchaugusta.com/ 

In my second conversation with Dr. David Pfaff, I sit down and have a conversation I have wanted to have for a long time - a conversation about suicide.  This is such a tough subject to talk about but it is needed.  In short, we need to talk about it and talk about it often.  People are struggling  and they think they have anywhere to turn for help.  It may be a parent, a brother, a co-worker, a neighbor or anyone you come across in your life.  Most of the time, we don't realize what power our words have when we reach out to a person in need.  Just asking "How are you?" or the simple act of reaching out and saying "I'm thinking about you" means so much to the people in your life.  I hope you can take something away from this episode - it was refreshing to talk open and honestly about suicide.  

Thanks again to Dr. Pfaff and if you have a chance, check out his website: https://dspcounseling.com/

If you work in any size company or corporation right now, you have probably heard or been a part of Diversity and Inclusion Training - it's everywhere. And regardless if you believe it is necessary or not, all the data tells us the same thing: more diverse workplaces are better and more productive places of business.  But, other than the numbers, how do diverse and/or non diverse places affect the people that work there and the customers that they service? Today, I talk with my first return guest, Evan Mills of Root Insurance, about why he believes diversity in the workplace is important, how companies can improve their diversity practices and what we say to people that think diversity and inclusion is not important or necessary.

This episode is my first of many on a new platform: Tha Empire Radio.  I am really excited about this new service and I cannot wait to reach more people to continue the discussion on mental health and awareness.  In this episode, I go back over some of my plans with the show, re-introduce myself and talk to a new audience.  I remind people to take time to work on their mental health, work on validating their feelings and start with the person in the mirror.  I appreciate everyone who has joined me in this ongoing journey in my life and I look forward to the new people who will join me going forward.  

You can follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RelativelyNormalPodcast

or 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/relativelynormalpodcast/

And be sure to check out all the great music and shows at thaempireradio.com

You know that person you have in your life? That one person - they are not related to you (but they could be), they are not a co-worker (but you would love to work with them), and they haven't always been in your life (but it feels like they have)?  Yeah, that person.  Well for me, that authentic, charismatic, joyful, "live your life to the fullest" person is my friend, Gina O'neal.  When I started focusing on authenticity and being your true self, she was the first person I thought about.  She is an administrator in the Fairfax County school system in Northern Virginia and everyone that works and learns under her are some of the most fortunate people in the world.  Gina brings her authentic self to work every day (and that does not mean she is always rainbows and sunshine).  On this episode, we talk about how she lives her life this way and what challenges she faced in the past.  You have probably heard her before on the "Tall Hungry Girl Talks" podcast with Tahira Hayes (which you should listen to) and now I am pleased to have her on my show.  

Please check out Tahira's podcast here: https://www.tallhungrygirl.com/podcast

What does it mean to be authentic and how can we live an authentic life? For the next few episodes, I will be exploring this topic.  In psychology, individuals considered authentic are those who generally strive to align their actions with their core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, their "true selves."  That is a lot and it can be hard.  But, I think, living an inauthentic life can be even harder. A few examples would be pretending to be someone we are not to get a promotion or start a relationship.  Little lies turn into bigger lies and we are stuck in a perpetual cycle of inauthenticity.  

Again, thanks for listening and I would love for you to be apart of the show.  Send me any audio clips would like explaining what authenticity means to you and how you can live an authentic life!

What most people already know is that life is hard.  What few fail to mention is that life continues to be hard even when the women in our lives make it look easy.  My wife was unbelievably stressed out the last few days and I tried my best to remind her that her life is difficult.  I did not try to fix her stress or invalidate her feeling - what I DID try to do is help her reframe her thinking so she could see that her best was good enough and sometimes life will beat us up - we just gotta try to get back up.  In this episode, I talk to my wife, Nada, about how much she means to me and to this world.  The world is a better and brighter place with her in it and I want all the men that are listening to make sure they take the time to let their wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc know that, even when the chips are stacked against them, we will be allies for them through every step of the way. 

The end of 2020 is upon us and and many of us can't wait for 2021 to start.  With that being said, a lot of us are going to make some pretty hefty new year resolutions. I am here to tell you not to - it is totally up to you if you listen.  Unnecessary resolutions put unneeded pressure on us and are a recipe for failure.  The process to really improve yourself mentally and physically takes time and attention with limites pressure.  The holidays are already stressful enough; why force yourself to be more stressed?  Take some time after the new year to decompress, take a breathe and then evaluate your mental health and work from there.  

Again, whether you take this little piece of unsolicited advice is up to you, but I am just speaking from experience.  

This is the hardest episode I have ever recorded.  With the help of my therapist, I have been trying to grieve my mother's death.  My mother died 2 years ago after a short and difficult batter with cancer.  She was everything to me and my family.  She was the glue that kept us all together.  I was a mama's boy and proud of it.  She and I had some great conversation on everything from my personal life to politics.  I probably inherited her anxiety and, looking back, that is probably what made us so close.  My therapist advised me that writing a letter to her would be a good start to helping me continue to grieve in a productive way.  I took a few stabs at writing but could never say exactly what I wanted to say - so I decided to talk to her on this platform.  This worked and maybe this will work for someone else.  I appreciate you listening to my podcast and, if you have lost someone close, maybe writing a letter or recording a message to them could help you as much as this helped me.  

I miss you, mom.

In this week's episode, I dive into the world of Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism.  For those that suffer from this, you know that all your accomplishments and successes come with a terrifying amount of self-doubt and sabotage.  We feel like frauds and all of the positives get shadowed by the impression that we are frauds and it is just a matter of time before others figure this out.  I welcome a special guest, Bethany Cluff, to share her experience with Imposter syndrome and how she copes with it every day. Bethany recently gave a presentation on this subject that received raving reviews which prompted me to ask her to join the show.

This week's show focuses on the act of checking in with ourselves.  With everything that is going on in the world right now, we have been told countless times to make sure we check-in with the people around us - loved ones, friends, family members, so on and so on.  But, how often are you checking in with yourself?  Like I have mentioned in previous episodes, we need to treat ourselves like we are a friend.  We need to take the time to note how we feel and why we feel that way.  If you are like me and not very good at this, the good news is that it is never too late to start and there are plenty of resources, including the Mood Meter app, that make it easy to start.  So, go out, purchase a nice notebook or journal, a great pen and start checking in with yourself to put things into perspective and assist with your mental health.

In the first episode of the 3rd season of Relatively Normal, I make a major announcement - I am back in THERAPY. This was a long time coming and I have been battling some major anxiety and some depression lately.  I am really looking forward to more sessions with this new therapist and she has given me some great coping techniques to use when I get into dark places.  In today's episode, I go over what I did to find my therapist and explain another part of what I am doing to cope with mental health issues.

Https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists is a great resource to use if you are looking for a specific therapist.  

I am really looking forward to sitting down with a few of you during this season.  Thanks for listening and I appreciate you.

One of the main reasons I do what I do is to inspire and motivate - specifically, the people that come behind me.  Even more specific - the young black leaders that will come behind me.  On today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with one of those bright and upcoming leaders, Evan Mills of Root Insurance.  Evan and I talk about what he has done in his life to become a leader, the obstacles that he has overcome and the lessons he has for people who will come behind him.  I really love his outlook on life, his outlook on leadership and where he wants to be in the future.  This is another episode exploring the "Black Experience" and I am so pleased by his candidness, his positivity and his approach on how we handle the current social climate in this country.  I hope you enjoy my conversation with Evan!

Lately, I have been extremely anxious.  I have gone to sleep with thoughts going 100 mph in my brain.  I have woken up dreading the day in front of me.  In the past, I have been able to pinpoint my triggers and try to cope through them.  But at this moment in my life, I can't seem to pinpoint what my triggers are.  I know a lot of stuff is going on in the world right now including a pandemic, political turmoil, economic uncertainty and so much more - but like I mentioned in an earlier episode, that is not the source of my feelings of anxiousness.  Honestly, between the health care workers, first responders and people sacrificing for the greater good, I see a lot of the positivity in the world.  It is not that I don't see the negative in the world - I just chose to amplify the positive.  

This week, there wasn't a set subject or goal of the episode.  I just needed to talk.  I just needed someone to listen.  We are getting close to the end of season 2 and I hope you are still listening.

Have you ever met a black man and your first thought was "Wow, he speaks so well?" 

Have you ever met a female doctor and felt differently based only on her gender.  

Have you ever met an asian person and assumed they were good at math? 

If you have ever said or done any of these things, you most likely have a certain implicit bias and used a statement of microaggression.  When I was younger, I was constantly teased because of the way I spoke and that lead to my low self-esteem, depression and anxiety.

This week, I talk about the simple things we can do to realize what implicit biases we have and how we can better ourselves.  Shifting our perceptions, limiting our assumptions and treating everyone as a unique individual are just a few of the steps we can take to make progress.  I hope you enjoy and share. 

Lately, I have dedicated a large portion of my life to helping others.  I take time out of my day to set up calls and meetings to make sure those around me are taking care of themselves.  I jump on a phone call, I send a text or I shoot a message to anyone and everyone I know that needs a shoulder to lean on and ear to listen.  But, unfortunately, I rarely do any of those things for myself.  I rarely take time for myself.  I rarely jot anything down in my journal.  I rarely take 5 minutes to meditate.  This is something that I need to work on because I need it.  I desperately  need it.  If you are treating others better than you treat yourself, what are you proving? What are you gaining when you don't take a few valuable minutes out of your day to be a friend to yourself?  I have been asking myself these questions a lot lately.  Through all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs, lows, in-betweens and everything else, there is always one common denominator: Me.

This week I chat with my good friend and coworker, Carl McKinney, about his experiences while being a black professional.  He and I have a candid conversation about the struggles of being a black person in corporate America and what we can do to not only bring exposure to this subject but also what we can do to help the next generation of black professionals.  Carl and I have not know each other for a long time but in that short amount of time, we have become close and had many personal conversations about current events and happenings in the world.  

Also, as I did last week, I would like to introduce you to a new podcast by a very talented young man called The Silent Struggle.  Devan Cobb did a great job of creating a platform for people like him and I to have a platform to discuss our struggles and make sure I voice is heard.  You can listen anywhere you currently listen to podcasts and here is a link to the show: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4rkB06ClrGC9lu1kUoWz3H?si=YlhZnutfSfWFdysGv6cKTg

I'm not racist, buuuuuuuut...

We can do everything possible to change our past, hide our history and pretend the past didn't happen the way it did, but that is impossible.  In America, we have a checkered past (to say it lightly) that consists of slavery, oppression, segregation and so much more.  To make things even worse, we have public statues of slave-owners, segregationist and other men who wanted to keep this country divided.  Now, when we try to remedy the past, there is a large group of people that believe when we tear down these terrible figures, somehow, we are erasing our past.  Here is a newsflash: nothing can erase our past.  However, what we can do it learn from it and try no to repeat it.  This week, I not only venture into our dark past, I do the same thing with my past to show just how we can take teachable moments and learn from them.  

Also, this week I mention a great new website howumommin.com created by a group of talented ladies who write about the adventures of being a mom in this day and age.  Please take a look at the website and if you have a dream of starting a website, blog or podcast, do it.  Just do it.  You have nothing to lose.

Black Lives Matter. Do those words upset you? Do you immediately want to respond by saying "no, All Lives Matter." Why? Do you do the same thing when someone says "Blue Lives Matter" or "Teachers Lives Matter" or any other take on the common phrase?  The answer is most likely no and therein lies the issue.  Before we make any progress in the race for equality, a lot of us need to realize the privilege we live with and how it affects our life and the lives of people around us. I know a few of you might get turned off by the title of this episode.  You may want me to just talk about mental health and well-being.  Well, that is exactly what I am doing.  The current racial climate is affecting mine and so many other people's mental health and we need to talk about it.  I need to talk about it.  Let's start the conversation.

I am tired.  I am worn out.  I am exhausted.  I would say it is because of the last few days but this has been my entire life.  As a black man, I have tried to explain why equality and diversity are good things but constantly my voice is muted and my thoughts are invalidated. When a person tries to express themselves but are continually undercut by those who think they know better, this can lead to feelings of depression, low self-worth and just plain exhaustion.  But, there is always hope. We must continue to use our voice in a way that leads change and inspires others to do the right thing.

This week, I had to talk about the crisis going on in out country right now.  I really had no choice, I am a black man and I needed to get some things off my chest.  People are hurt, people are afraid, people are suffering.  I have had terrible bouts of anxiety about leaving my house and just going into the world.  Will this be the last time I see my family because I may "fit the description?" For many black men, fitting the description is something we have to live with everyday and we rarely, if ever, get justice. I don't want to make this political, I just want to plead to the humanity in all of us and beg us all to do better, be better and expect more out of each other.  To the families that have lost a loved one to a senseless act of violence, I am sorry and I hope that one day you will see justice and find strength in the fact that others are fighting for you.

I did not feel like making this show. I really didn't.  I mean, I wanted to, I just didn't think I had the time and I did not prioritize myself over other things in my life like work and personal responsibilities.  But, in the end, I was a friend to myself.  I acknowledged my feelings and thoughts and then made time for myself.  Recording this show it MY TIME.  It is the time I set aside each week to talk about my feelings and decompress after a hard week - and this week was HARD.  We should all make sure that we make time for ourselves and prioritize our feelings. I hope you can do that and if you can't, reach out, maybe someone can help.

Also, this is the last week of Mental Health Awareness Month and a good reference is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org).  You can get information on their You Are Not Alone campaign that helps others who may feel just like you. 

Social media is everywhere and we can't avoid it.  It is apart of our live and culture.  And just like other things that surround us, it can and does affect or mental health.  We can become addicted to it and use it as a crutch.  On this week's episode, I dive into the ways social media can help us and how it can hurt us.  Also, I launched my facebook page and streamed this episode live.  You can find it by just typing in "Relatively Normal Podcast" into the search bar.  

This week, someone asked me, genuinely, why I do what I do. Why I talk about mental health? Why I talk about MY mental health and why I do this podcast?  It took me back a bit because no one had ever asked me that direct question.  I had to think about and I decided to dedicate a show specifically for answering that question.  Also, while thinking about talking about why I do something I love, I think we should ask ourselves why we do the things we love.  Also, if you didn't notice. the show's cover art has been updated.  I hope you like it.  Let me know.

We always hear of the beautiful parts of pregnancy and childbirth - how life-changing and magical they are.  Often, we never hear about the mood swings, irritability, sleepless nights or the anxiety and depression.  This needs to change and on this week's show, I am joined by a talented artist, mother, wife and all-around wonderful person, Lauren Santomauro Dawson.  She takes us into her world of postpartum depression and how she finally came to grips with it and worked to cope through it.  We talk about many things including being open and honest with ourselves and therapy.  I cannot thank her enough for allowing me to have this conversation with her.  

I love music.  There's no other way to put it.  It doesn't matter if I am working, playing, running or anything in-between, the music is on.  A lot of us use music for mental health and to either keep us in a mood or put us in a better mood.  This week, I welcome my friend Tom Hammond on to continue a conversation we started about how music affects our mood.  If you haven't tried some "music therapy" I suggest you do.  It works for me and it could work for you.

There is no denying it - there is still a stigma associated with mental health and mental illness.  On this week's show, I welcome in Licensed Professional Counselor, Adjunct Professor of Applied Behavioral Studies/Licensed Professional Counseling, and Board Approved LPC Clinical Supervisor, David Pfaff.  David helps us to break down why there is a stigma, the history of stigma and what we can do to help alleviate any future stigma associated with mental illness.  David works and teaches on the front lines of the mental health profession and gives us his professional and personal take on this important subject.

In past episodes, I have explained how I have gone through bouts of anxiety and depression during some pretty calm times in my life.  It is normal to think that during the coronavirus pandemic, my anxiety would be through the roof. But, to the contrary, lately I have been calm and relaxed.  There is a reason for that and I will talk about it this week on my latest episode.  A big thing I will mention is that, just like when we are down, we need to validate our positive feelings too.  We need to tell our ourselves that it is ok to feel good even when others are not.  We can't always predict and understand how or why our brain works the way it does.  Sometimes, we just need to accept it.

This week, I chat with Lawton Swann, owner and host of Clemson Sports Talk on Fox Sports and iHeart Radio. Lawton and I have been friends for over 20 years but it wasn't until recently that I opened up to him about my bouts of depression and constant anxiety.  Lawton talks to me about how our friendship has changed through the years, how he wants more people to reach out to their friends in need and other thoughts about mental illness.  He also talks about a devastating loss in his life which opened his eyes to how mental illness can affect those around you.

You can follow Lawton on Twitter @clemsonsports or go to his website at clemsonsportstalk.com.  

How much time do you spend being anxious or nervous about something that may not even happen?  How about the time you spend worrying about something that may only take up a few moments of your life?  If you are anything like me, you give a lot of your life away being anxious or depressed about an action that may have only taken a few minutes.  In this week's show, I talk about how this "wasted" time has affected me in the past, how I am dealing with it in the present and how I hope to improve in the future.  Remember, you don't have to always let your negative thoughts derail your mindset.  

This is a unique time in our lives.  With many of us having to uproot our lives and stay at home during this pandemic, emotions are all over the place.  This week I talk of ways I have been coping in hopes to help you while we live through this tough situation.  Please take care of yourself and reach out if you need any help.  We'll get through this together.

It isn't uncommon that mental fatigue pops up at the most inopportune times.  Most of the time we try to fight through and tell ourselves that it is just part of our everyday process.  However, it can take a huge toll on our mental fortitude and we should be honest with ourselves when trying to get too much out of ourselves.  This week, I talk about how mental fatigue has played a role in my life and what we can do to cope a little bit better.

A phrase thrown around a lot is "trying is not good enough."  For years I believed this and would tell others.  However, I have finally come to the realization that nothing can be accomplished without trying especially with mental health.  Once we stop trying, things can go horribly bad.  Whatever you do, keep fighting. keep trying - anything and everything you can to cope with your mental health issues.  

What makes today special? The sun coming out? the birds singing? Your best friend calling you? What about the fact that you are here, living it.  Some days are hard, some days are harder.  The simple fact that you are here, we are here, makes all the difference.  We cannot get through the hard times without living them.  Keep placing yourself at the center of your day and make sure you are at least here to live it!

The first season of Relatively Normal has been a blast.  Thank you for riding with me through this journey.  As I look back on the first 25 episodes, I want to take the time to thank all those in my life that have been apart of this and say that we still have a long way to go.  I will be back with new episodes in the Spring of 2020.  Have a great holiday!

www.derricklawoffice.com

clemsonsportstalk.com

www.youtube.com/user/WTMNandCO

https://www.complex.com/sports/2018/02/demar-derozan-talks-depression

Too often, when people come to us at their most vulnerable times, we tell them just to be grateful for what they have.  You didn't get that promotion? Well, just be happy you have a job.  Boyfriend broke up with you? Well, be happy for the time you had with him.  These responses possibly aren't just mean, they can really do a lot of harm to someone with a mental health issue.  Statements like this invalidate thoughts, make people think their feelings are meaningless and most of the time force people to keep their feeling bottled up.  To help alleviate all of this, we all need to become better listeners.  This week, we will discuss listening and gratitude evil twin: INVALIDATION.

The last few days have been tough.  I always think that I am totally cured of my anxiety and depression but that it never the case.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is something I have to live with.  And that means, I have to deal with it everyday.  Sometimes, I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I am blessed more than a lot of people in this world. That is what make mental illness so tough to live with.  I hope you can understand my frustrations and if you feel the same way, I hope this can help.

We need to talk about race.  Especially black men and mental health.  As a black male that has struggled most of my life, I have seen firsthand how black men tend not to talk about mental health, go to therapy or seek any medical attention due to the stigma the community has about black men expressing their feelings.  For generations, black men have been told that showing emotion in anyway is a sign of weakness and we have to be strong all the time for the people around us.  As we start to lift the stigma associated with mental illness, we need to learn that black men do not need to be strong all the time and their mental health matters.

https://youtu.be/w_iCaM84HUg

At many points in our lives, we will have go through some type of grief.  It could be the death of a loved one, an unfortunate event or just a decision that doesn't go our way.  Whichever it is, there is no rule book that tells you the right and wrong way to grieve.  For most of my life, I have kept constant pressure on myself to grieve in a way that I would not inconvenience those around me.  If someone close to me was grieving with me, I made sure not to grieve at the same time so I could be the rock they needed, even if it meant I suffered.  No one told me I had to do this, I just did.  Only recently did I finally realize that I did not have to be the rock that everyone leans on.  Sometimes, I can just take care of myself.

Control means a lot to many people.  Without it, they feel anxious and riddled with thoughts of what could happen.  In all actuality, we only control a small amount of things in our lives but most of of our worry and anxiety is focused on those things.  This week, I discuss how control (or lack thereof) has affected my mental health and what I am doing to cope.

Always striving for an unattainable goal is exhausting and a waste of time.  For those laced with anxiety, we don't expect perfection out of those around us, but we beat ourselves up when we don't live up to our own high expectations.  Being mindful of our actions and feelings can help with this.  This week I discuss how I have become more mindful of this personality trait and talk about being nicer to myself when I am not "perfect."

Our cup can only hold so much.  When we mask our feelings and carry the burdens of others without taking anytime for ourselves can lead us to a life that has no room for our own inner emotions.  We need to make time for ourselves and not feel guilty about it.  Once we truly learn how to prioritize our mental health and feelings, we can then lead a fuller life.

Therapy can be scary - opening up to a complete stranger and letting them know your innermost secrets.  For me, the scary part was not how my life would change after therapy but how it might not if I never tried.  This is my therapy journey.

We've come so far when it comes to finally having open and honest conversations about mental health, but we still have a long way to go.  We still need to allow ourselves to be heard when we are hurting inside. Keeping things bottled up leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms.  The more we talk, the better. 

For as long as humans have been on this earth, we have protected ourselves and our families by focusing on those things that scare us.  We have put more emphasis and importance on fear rather than joy.  It may have worked to keep the human race thriving but living a life with a focus on the negative may help you live a life that is longer but possibly not better.

Normal is relative and too many times we base our normal on the normal of other people. Our thoughts and feelings are our own but sometimes we are stuck comparing our emotional state to others.  We also rate our progress of coping with others who might be going thru similar things.  Once we start to focus on our on mental health and progress, we can learn to be mindful of our feelings and progress in a healthy way.

When pain is tangible and obvious, it is easy to talk about. With mental health, the pain is not always easy to notice so those conversations that are needed do not often happen.It is up to us to lift the stigma on talking about mental illness. We should all strive to become better listeners and friends.

As a runner, I know I talk about running a lot.  I know it can be annoying to some people but when it comes down to it, running saved my life.  I use it for physical and emotional fitness.  In this episode, I recorded the first part before a run and the second part after running 4 miles.  I then explained how my mental state was affected by the run.  I think you will notice a difference.

I wanted to discuss how my relationship with my wife has changed and improved since I started to open up about my mental health.  In this episode, I will discuss how opening up lines of communication with the ones we love can help us deal with the uncertainty of anxiety and depression.

How we look on the outside definitely affects how we feel on the inside.  I have been struggling with body image issues most of my life and it didn't matter if I was big, small or somewhere in between.  I am still working on coping with this and in this episode I will let out some of my most intimate feelings about my mind and body.

We all can have a bad day.  But, what about those really bad days that we a stricken with depression and anxiety and don't know how to cope? In this episode, I will explain what constitutes  a bad day, how I have gotten through them and some steps that we all can take to help us prepare for future bad days. 

Triggers are those things that set our anxiety in motion.  At first, we might not notice or understand them but as we grow and learn more about our mental health, it helps to prepare for them.  When we understand what triggers us, we can have a better understand of how to cope.

Many of us are chosen to lead in our life.  Whether that be at work or as a volunteer, we still need to step back and understand what that means for someone who struggles with anxiety or depression.  This week, I will be focusing on my growth as a leader with anxiety and how it can possibly help you.

A lot of us struggle with depression and Anxiety.  A lot of us try to talk to friends and family about just to have our feelings brushed off and invalidated.  I wanted to talk to those people who want to help the ones closest to them when the conversation shifts to mental health.  We can all do better.