Today's News with McAvoy Layne

This is akin to putting a wolf in charge of watching the sheep...

She was given the nickname, “Baby Doll.”

"Oh Dry Up!"

So what do we tell Russians who are in Ukraine and Israelis who are in Gaza today?

“If a Nevada Jay can be aware of the perils that we all face, who are we to ignore this feathered friend called, Huckleberry?”

She did cross herself when she suspected I must surely be dead on my second exodus on that gurney…

I’m deathly afraid of bedbugs…

I’m already feeling more cheerful, more charitable and kinder…

Are we wise enough to prevent an escalation of firepower that might quickly spiral into an apocalyptic World War III?

Better to retire two years too early than two minutes too late.

If you don’t smile at this synchronicity you ain’t right…

“Save Wild Trout.”

It depends on how much happiness you can handle…

“Eyes that see do not grow old.”

She looked at me like I had just escaped from the Tahoe insane asylum…

She let out a squeal that could be heard in Albuquerque, told me I was immature,

and would not talk to me for an hour...

I’m making it a goal to live long enough to bear witness to that heroic return…

Dear Presidents Putin & Zelensky

I’m so looking forward to your greeting me on the other side…

I could find myself on the bottom of the lake alongside some gangsters I don’t even know...

But now the very thought of matter being sentient is somewhat unsettling to me…

Just prior to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine there was a movement afoot to erect a statue of Mark Twain in Odessa…

Old Drum got his due justice along with that priceless statue in the town square…

The Ombudsman was born here...

Let us lift our glasses sotto voce in honor of our veterans,

those with us, and those having gone to the Great Beyond.

If Donald Trump suffers from Mania Grandiosa, the sense of self-importance documented as a mental illness, well, he could by all rights enter an insanity plea and win his case in court…

 “A good Navy is not a provocation to war. It is the surest guaranty of peace.”

She could talk a goldfish into coming out and taking a walk with her…

Let us celebrate this September first as the inaugural,

“Making the Whole World Kin Day.”

Getting chicken skin all over is part & parcel of the spine-tingling experience.

 “Sam Clemens was the most lovable scamp

and nuisance that ever blighted Nevada.”

I would rather get cussed-out by a man I admire, than blessed by Artificial Intelligence.

Great managers inspire, and Debra inspired a stellar staff, along with an army of volunteers,

to stage perhaps the best Mark Twain Extravaganza the world has ever seen.

As a Chautauquan you can never fail, for it is a success to be one…

We are going to have to start engineering our food in a lab or starve…

Pickleball will be the saving of us…

Talking in public ain’t easy…

“Don’t believe me, just watch!”

We’re the banana peel in the coal mine…

I should have asked for her hand and kissed it…

Let us put an end to this grotesque theater of the absurd…

And he knows when he’s an ass, just as well as you do, maybe better...

I’m going to ask a librarian…

I’ve been contemplating possible new ventures to tackle when I retire…

“Serve with a cigar you cannot afford, and a quote from Kierkegaard.”

Nevada is a state of mind…

They did not know me from Adam, and could not have cared a farthing about me unless maybe Eve had been standing there next to me in period costume.

The time of weapons taboo has passed…

You Could be Living Your Life Backwards...

Sweet dreams of becoming a snowplow driver…