We're Not Critics Podcast - formerly Movie Pain or Pleasure

You know those fake trailers at the beginning of "Tropic Thunder?" That's what we thought we were watching when we watched the trailer for 1986's "Cobra," written by and starring Sylvester Stallone. From killer taglines to car chases to the sensitive hero, this movie delivers on being a classic action movie guilty pleasure.

Hey, do you like the movie "Jeepers Creepers?" Do you like having your dreams destroyed? Well, join us as we moan and complain our way through "Jeepers Creepers Reborn." 

We're changing our name! Also, we loved "Puss in Boots: the Last Wish" in a RIDICULOUS way. 

Do you think anime is just for nerds or kids? Good news! Anime is for everyone: nerds, kids, bitter adults with corporate jobs, and everyone in between. We share  a list of some of the most memorable anime series and movies we've watched, plus a few surprises from this side of the pond.

What's up, degens? In this short, sweet episode, we discuss "Letterkenny" Season 11--what we liked, what wasn't so great, and our overall thoughts on the season.

Cold winter weather getting you down? New Year's resolutions not working out the way you'd hoped? Well, snuggle in with your favorite drink and favorite person, and check out our favorite films from 2022. These movies got us through the end of the year and started 2023 with a bang (or the roar of a tiger).

Just because you can genetically re-create dinosaurs doesn't mean you should...just like...well, like being able to re-imaging the "Jurassic Park" movies doesn't mean you should. We teeter-totter on whether Jurassic World: Dominion is a guilty pleasure, hate watch, or somewhere in between. One thing we agree on: Tyrannosaurus Rex never stops being cool. 

What started as an assumed hate watch quickly turned into legitimate love for a legitimately good movie that shows what true godliness looks like without proselytizing. "Where Hope Grows" is a feel-good drama introducing us to break out star David DeSanctis and...William Zabka! We could watch this movie over and over again.

Is the 2020 "Most Dangerous Game" REALLY an adaptation of Richard Connell's classic story, or was someone trying to skirt around paying Stephen King rights to "The Running Man?" We discuss.

ANOTHER Pinocchio? Look, we love the story about the little wooden boy like anyone else, but when will it end? We delve into the pros, cons, and questions about this kinda creative/kinda annoying adaptation of the classic Italian tale.

Home is where the heart is. But sometimes our hearts fall for another place we see on the screen. We share fifteen mostly fictional places we'd love to live in if we could travel into TV and movies.

The 1980s were a time of excess, greed, and....reindeer cocaine? We review "Santa Claus the Movie," starring an adorable Dudley Moore and the hammiest we've ever seen John Lithgow. 

This much anticipated (was it though?) follow-up to the cult classic "A Christmas Story" was as disappointing as a visit to Santa at Higbee's department store. It was full of missed opportunities and follow-through on plot lines. Listen to us rant like Ralphie's dad about what irked us, although there were a few moments that were in the spirit of the original.

Sometimes movies can be a pleasant surprise. We thoroughly enjoyed this sweet, wholesome, and very funny Adam Sandler movie that was made as..well..as a joke. It's the perfect movie to get you into the Halloween spirit or as a palate cleanser from all the horror movies we know you've been watching.

We found this "Never Back Down" sequel just revolting. Join us as we fight our way through a tiresome hate watch.

It's a two-for-one: movie/TV recommendations AND book recommendations! We share nineteen of our favorite book to screen adaptations--usually the book is better, but sometimes the movie wins out. We also have a few honorable and dishonorable mentions.

Is "Left Behind" (2001) starring Kirk Cameron a guilty pleasure or a hate watch? Normally we go into Christian movies ready to laugh or cringe, but this one left us feeling...well...left behind. On the plus side, Kirk Cameron is less obnoxious and preachy than he usually is in this one. This is a companion episode to Episode 46: Left Behind 2014.

An apocalyptic Christian movie with Nicholas Cage? Sign us UP for a guilty pleasure! We compare the 2014 remake of "Left Behind" to the lackluster 2001 original.

It's a Halloween guilty pleasure with "Hocus Pocus 2"! Join us as we cackle our way through this sequel to a witchy classic. This episode contains spoilers.

The moon is falling! And so is the credibility of this movie! We hate watch our way through "Moonfall," a disaster movie that's just a disaster.

Elivs is big, loud, and shiny...and so is the movie by the same name. There was some pleasure watching this movie, and there was some pain, so put on your blue suede shoes and join us as we talk about the highs and lows of this epic biopic about the late King of Rock and Roll.

It's time for some spoooooky movies! Join us as we count down our favorite horror movies to watch this Halloween (or any time you want a good scare).

What do you get when Ashtray from "Euphoria" and Rocky Balboa star in a superhero movie? A...decent movie. With some see-them-from-a-mile-away twists and lackluster storytelling, we weren't too impressed with this Amazon Prime original, but the two main stars did an excellent job, and Sylvester Stallone can still pack a punch. Worth a watch.

Disney, how could you? Tom Hanks, how could you?? We absolutely ROAST this new live action release of "Pinocchio" from Disney+. Stay til the end for our dream casting in what we think would be a better remake.

**This episode contains spoilers!** Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy! We do a full review of "Cobra Kai" season 5, the most anime-esque of the seasons and the most demonstrative of Korean martial arts, which two taekwondo nerds very much appreciate. 

Need some TV shows to binge? From drama to comedy to anime to reality shows, we've got you covered. 

Join us for a short, spoiler-free review of "Dragonball Super: Super Heroes." While AJ, a Dragonball connoisseur, wasn't entirely impressed, Melanie found little to dislike about it. If you want a pure hate watch, listen to our "Dragonball: Evolution" episode.

In this short episode we do a spoiler-free review of the 2022 anime movie "Belle," which was inspired by Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Tune in to hear us (joined by our stuffed squishy panda Bamboo) share what we liked about this movie. As of August 2022 you can watch this movie on HBO Max.

If "Batman Forever" was a guilty pleasure, "Batman and Robin" is a pure hate watch. Other than some surprisingly sweet moments with Alfred and Bruce Wayne, this movie is pure garbage. Join us as we do a play by play of the worst parts of the worst Batman movie.

Holy unexpected hilarity, Batman! We're back with a review of "Batman Forever" starring Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, and Tommy Lee Jones. Melanie and AJ cackle like the Riddler through this episode and do a Batman-related Q&A at the end. Play along with our questions and tell us which live action Batman is your favorite. 

Don't fear the reaper--Death comes for us all! Sometimes in very creative (and gross) ways. We take a wild ride through the five-movie "Final Destination Franchise," and Melanie muses on why dumb horror movies are fun for summer watching. We also do a question lightning round about the best and worst elements of the movies. 

Put on your dark lipstick, wash it off with Noxema, and chug some Sunny D--it's time for a late 1990s horror movie! We intended to hate watch "Urban Legend" from 1998, but it turned out to be a decent, predictable-but-fun slasher movie and a nostalgic time capsule. Join us for a play-by-play and stay til the end for movie recommendations. 

We took a weekend trip to Mineral Wells, Texas, and experienced both "Lightyear" and "Crazy Water." "Lightyear" was action-packed, moving, and funny, and the Crazy Water (from the eponymous mineral wells) had an odd but pleasant alkaline taste. Enjoy our spoiler-free review of a movie that will delight Buzz Lightyear fans of all ages. 

What did we just watch?? Oh Nicholas Cage, why did you get our hopes up with the promise of good insanity when instead you delivered a nonsensical post-apocalyptic nursery rhyme? Join us as we hate watch our way through this sci-fi/Western/Japanese fantasy movie. There are some funny quotes that make it somewhat redeemable. Stay to the end for recommendations for better movies. 

Feeling stressed? Kick back and relax--it's summer! We share twenty movies and TV shows that will help you get your cool summer groove on after a day in the sun. We also share some surprising trivia from AJ's dad's past and discuss the Madea Cinematic Universe.

2020 is long over, but then there was 2021...and now we're in 2022, and you guys, the world is a HOT MESS! One way you can beat the crippling existential crisis (and the literal crises) of our times is to escape into movies and TV shows that make you laugh and forget your troubles or just realize that our dystopian nightmare could be much, much worse.  We share sixteen movies and animes that have gotten us through some rough patches over the last two years, plus a bonus recommendation for how you can support your community. 

Sometimes, when the world is crumbling around you, you need a good old-fashioned hate watch to get your blood pumping. We found that with M. Night Shyamalan's supernatural thriller Old....oof...y'all. This movie is entertaining and aggravating in all the wrong ways, but it just might be salvaged by the signature twist ending. We offer a play-by-play of this movie along with several recommendations that will help you suspend your disbelief in more enjoyable ways.

Dance movies are some of our favorite guilty pleasures. Tap your toes and join us as we twirl through a baker's dozen of great (or not so great) dance movies.

Ugh, you guys, this one was a doozy of a hate watch. "Step Up 6: Year of the Dance" (2019) takes the franchise to China...which is fine...unfortunately, the writing was so weak we're surprised none of the characters broke their ankles tripping over the loose, lazy plot. Other than an out-of-place amazing fight scene at the end, this movie lacks the choreography, character arcs, and over-the-top energy of its predecessors. Don your beanie and your dance crew jacket and join us on the dance floor as we wreck this poor excuse for a "Step Up" movie.

We cover our first Bollywood movie! Melanie introduces AJ to one of her favorite romantic comedies (and his first Bollywood movie), "Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi," starring Bollywood powerhouse Shah Rukh Kahn and Anushka Sharma. It's funny, sweet, interesting, and even has moments of sadness and tenderness. There's nothing to dislike about this movie. Put on your sparkly t-shirt, your dancing shoes, grab your adorable yellow lunch box, and join us in the fun. As Raj would say, "We are traveling the love lane. Down the road we will meet again." 

Before Channing Tatum worked his magic in the "Magic Mike" movies, he was showing some hip hop moves in "Step Up" from 2006. We do have some complaints, but overall it's a decent little movie and fairly tame compared to the rest of the "Step Up" franchise. Put on your tights (wait, what?) and bust a move as we pique turn into our first dance movie episode.

The filmmakers were trying to make the latest iteration of "Robin Hood" (2018) unique, but most of the efforts fell flat. Throw on your hoodie and your bandanna and follow us into Nottingham as we joke our way through this movie. Also, if you get bored watching "Robin Hood," there's a perfect place to play "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" over the ho-hum action. 

Join us for a spoiler-free review of "The Batman," the 2022 film starring Robert Pattinson. We talk about what we loved (and who we loved), what wasn't so great, and we give recommendations for other Batman and Robert Pattison-related movies. Tell us on Instagram @moviepainorpleasurepodcast what you liked about this latest installment of the caped crusader franchise.

We're back with another live-action anime play-by-play with "Dragonball Evolution!" While this 2009 movie is not as rage-inducing as the more recent live action "Death Note" (see our episode 3 for the reasons for our wrath), it's not a good movie. However, it dances on the edge of silliness and stupidity enough to make it a mildly delightful guilty pleasure. Melanie has zero background knowledge of the Dragonball universe while AJ is basically cosplaying an anime character full-time with his bright blue hair, so this makes for an interesting conversation.

Look here, doll faces, we know you folks want comedy. Well, we've got comedy in spades...Sam Spade, that is! Join us as we cackle our way through the 1941 classic "The Maltese Falcon" with wise-cracking Humphrey Bogart and our new favorite soft-spoken villain Peter Lorre. We're not sure if it was originally meant to be a comedy, but it is hysterical. Melanie and AJ even dressed the part for this episode so be sure to give us a gander on YouTube at "Movie Pain or Pleasure." This episode contains spoilers, sweet cheeks.

YOU GUYS, THIS MOVIE IS RIDICULOUS! We swear "F9: Fast and Furious Saga" is a guilty pleasure, but when you stop to think and talk about it for too long, it melts your brain. It's better to just start the movie and go go go until it's over. Pop open a mini jar of moonshine like Melanie did and get ready for a fast, furious, jet-setting spy caper. The "family" has come a long way from stealing VCR/DVD players and drag racing. This episode contains all the spoilers including a hilariously confusing post-credit scene. 

2020 was tough, and 2021 wasn't much better. Whether you were already struggling with mental illness or not, the last two years have been rough on us all, but it doesn't seem like our workplaces got the memo. Sometimes you have to be your own mental health advocate. In this short episode, Melanie shares tips for having a successful conversation with your boss about your mental health and your needs in the workplace. -To read Melanie's Fast Company article on mental health in the workplace go here: https://www.fastcompany.com/90640738/how-to-talk-to-your-boss-about-your-mental-health -Other articles by Melanie about mental health are on her blog: https://littleblackbelt.com/melanie-in-the-media/ -Melanie's book "Kicking and Screaming: a Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts" can be purchased here: https://www.amazon.com/Kicking-Screaming-Memoir-Madness-Martial/dp/1647420288/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1GOIRXB06F3S5&keywords=kicking+and+screaming+melanie&qid=1644779292&sprefix=kicking+and+screaming+melanie%2Caps%2C99&sr=8-1

Happy Valentine's Day! Melanie proclaimed in her memoir that she hates romantic comedies and romantic movies, but she proves herself wrong in this episode. We share ten romantic movies we actually own and love, plus throw in several honorable mentions. Snuggle up with your boo (or not) and enjoy this week's episode of movies that make your heart smile. No spoilers this time because we want you to watch these awesome flicks. Melanie's book that is an accidental romantic comedy “Kicking and Screaming: a Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts” is available from most booksellers.

This episode gets personal. AJ and his family members have faced difficulties and discrimination for their legally blind status. Despite protection from the Americans with Disabilities Act, they've come up against mistreatment, prejudice, and ignorance. In this episode AJ shares his own experience and his uncle's and has a message for listeners. Let's think about how we can be more compassionate and inclusive in our workspaces. Then we'll get back to cussing about movies. 

This sequel to the 1984 classic hit "The Neverending Story" was an hour and a half long but certainly felt never ending. Melanie the Gen Xer and AJ the Millennial agree that this 1990 kids' fantasy movie is a tale better off forgotten by the generations. This episode contains spoilers, and you'll thank us for saving you the trouble of watching it. 

Melanie hates winter with the firey passion of an angry devil, and AJ has to put up with her. What better way to beat the winter blues than with some great movies! We share five movies we've enjoyed on streaming platforms in January 2022 plus a quick review of the new movie, "Spider-Man: No Way Home." For once, there are no spoilers. 

We wish...we wish...we wish we could get the two hours of our lives back spent watching this movie. Will Smith is a glimmering oasis in an otherwise obnoxious, unnecessary remake of the 1992 animated classic "Aladdin." And this also takes place in the Star Wars universe. Join us as we roast this movie back into the lamp where it belongs, give recommendations for better movies, and recast Aladdin and Iago with our dream actors. This episode contains spoilers.

What do Star Wars movies, the Gummi Bears cartoon, "A Clockwork Orange," and a really cool Romeo and Juliet anime have in common? Characters from "Cobra Kai," apparently. We let our true martial artist nerdiness come forth as we break down what we love about "Cobra Kai" and what deserves no mercy. There are a few spoilers about the first three seasons, but we try to keep things vague for season four. Melanie's book "Kicking and Screaming: a Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts" is available from most booksellers:  https://www.amazon.com/Kicking-Screaming-Memoir-Madness-Martial/dp/1647420288/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3AHR8LU4XQ5J3&keywords=melanie+d+gibson+kicking+and+screaming&qid=1641390927&sprefix=melanie+d+gibson+kicking+and+screaming%2Caps%2C122&sr=8-1

Dickens adaptations, Disney "inbetweequels," and more Tim Curry than we anticipated...all that and more in our bonus Christmas episode! We share fifteen holiday movies we love. Get in the Christmas spirit with us and enjoy some holiday cheer! 

There's a reason why Kirk Cameron's "Saving Christmas" got a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Join us as we go on our wackiest cinema journey yet. Melanie imbibes in a new beverage, AJ goes on tirades, and we find ourselves siding with an unlikely ally. Stick with us for recommendations that better represent the true spirit of Christmas.

Mormons! Pokemon! Boxing Matches! In this episode we punch our way through "The Fighting Preacher," the true story of Mormon missionary Willard Bean. Find out if this is a guilty pleasure or hate watch, and what recommendations we have for books, movies, and other media to expand your religious horizons. This episode contains spoilers.

Pray for us because we're talking about a religious movie! We discuss God's Not Dead, a popular Christian movie from 2014. While there were things that really bothered us about the movie, we enjoyed certain aspects too. Splash on some holy water and join us. This episode contains spoilers. 

Happy Thanksgiving, turkeys! To round out our month of appreciation, we're celebrating our friendship and the movies we've introduced each other to over the years. We share a list of twenty movies (and one anime series) that made big impressions on us and that we could watch over and over again. We talk about everything from drama to anime to horror and more, including 3D Doritos and Jamie Foxx's single "Blame It On the Alcohol." Crack open a bottle of Wild Turkey, dive into a plate of lukewarm leftovers, and join us in celebrating movies we love.

To continue with Appreciation Month, we are celebrating the "Rocky" franchise, arguably the greatest movie franchise of all time. We talk about our favorite moments from each movie, and Melanie goes on a rant about Tastykakes, the glorious snack cakes from Rocky Balboa's great city of Philadelphia. AJ has yet to see the light about Tastykakes. Listen and let us know which movie in the "Rocky" franchise is your favorite. Oh, and Melanie meant to say Burgess Meredith was in "The Twilight Zone," not "Twilight."

For the month of November, we're talking about movies we are grateful for! In this episode we discuss five adaptations of "The Jungle Book" by Rudyard Kipling. We don't want to play favorites or anything...but go watch "Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle" on Netflix RIGHT FREAKING NOW! Next we want to see what happens when Joe Exotic meets Shere Khan.

Do you love Yuri Boyka and the "Undisputed" series? Well, you're gonna love the first...well...uh...never mind. We wanted to complete the set of all the "Undisputed" movies and see how it all began with the original film starring Wesley Snipes and Ving Rhames. "Undisputed III: Redemption" it's not, but we do get to hear Ving Rhames call people "motherf*ckers" in his rich, velvety baritone. Join us as we punch our way through this movie and do our best Peter Falk impressions. This episode contains spoilers.

Happy Halloween! Do you want something truly scary to watch on October 31? In this bonus episode, we share a list of twenty-five delightfully scary movies for you to enjoy. There are a few add-ons, including "Come to Daddy" with Elijah Wood. We also forgot to mention "It Follows," which is an underrated and quietly terrifying (and creative) film. If you have recommendations for scary movies we'll love (or love to hate), drop a comment on our YouTube page Movie Pain or Pleasure? or on Instagram @moviepainorpleasurepodcast.

Get your pumpkin spice and your yoga pants, boss babes, because it's time for some manifesting...malevolent spirits, that is. We finish our spooktacular October series with a thorough roasting of "The Apparition." This movie had a lot of promise with an interesting premise. There were a few good scary parts, but mostly good laughs. Join us as we trash talk our way through this movie and share recommendations for people who can't stand property damage. Also stay tuned for our Halloween bonus episode of scary movies we love!

Melanie had really high expectations for this movie after avoiding anything "Ring"-related for over a decade. Is "The Ring Two" as terrifying as its predecessor? Listen to our play-by-play to see if this was a horror hate watch or a spooky guilty pleasure. Stay 'til the end to hear Melanie and AJ's recommendations for other scary ghost child movies.  Plus, check out the books mentioned in this episode: "Ring" by Koji Suzuki: https://www.amazon.com/Ring-Book-1-Koji-Suzuki/dp/1932234411/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ring+koji+suzuki&qid=1634506873&s=books&sr=1-1 "Kicking and Screaming: a Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts" by Melanie Gibson: https://www.amazon.com/Kicking-Screaming-Memoir-Madness-Martial/dp/1647420288/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1634506915&sr=1-1

Is it comedy, horror, or both? Either, way, we have fun laughing our way through the steamy thriller "Knock Knock" starring Keanu Reeves. Listen to our play-by-play of the movie and our recommendations for more stranger-danger terror. This episode contains adult language and themes...and spoilers, of course.

Remember how good the anime "Death Note" was? Well, Netflix's 2017 live action movie is the INVERSE of that! We have our first true hate watch as we discuss Netflix's "Death Note." We even brought along our own notebooks, or "death notes" to record our wrath. Should fans of the anime even bother? Listen to the end of the episode for our answer plus recommendations for WAY better movies than this garbage pile. This episode contains spoilers.

IS IT TAEKWONDO OR KARATE?! We discuss "Best of the Best"--what's painful, what's pleasurable, and what's a straight kick to the groin. How do two black belt snobs dissect this 1980s classic martial arts movie? Listen to the end for our recommendations of martial arts parodies and ultimate tournament fighting. This episode contains spoilers. 

We discuss "Cruella"--what's painful, what's pleasurable, what's fabulous, and what's meh. Can't go wrong with a villain origin story...or can you? Is it "The Devil Wears Prada" with a Tim Burton aesthetic or something entirely original? Be sure to listen to the end of the episode for recommendations for movies that get this villain theme right. This episode contains spoilers.

AJ and Melanie are two silly, sarcastic friends who love movies...even ones that are painful to watch. Every episode we'll explore a movie that ends up being a painful hate-watch or a guilty pleasure.