Mommy Oyoyo

Stepmothers generally have a bad connotation from negative stereotypes driven by fairytales and folklore around the world. In this episode, I speak with Tambari about her high and low experiences of stepmotherhood. She recently started the @GoodStepmother brand on Instagram to fight the negativity surrounding step-parenting and push more positive content and provide support to a community of stepmothers. Tambari shares her candid thoughts and opinions on issues relating to stepmotherhood, e.g. the rivalry between birth mothers and stepmothers, when a potential stepmother should be introduced to her future stepchildren, etc. 

Check out Tambari for more wholesome and positive content for stepmothers @GoodStepmother on Instagram.

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5. Not Your Typical African Father

25. Life as a Single Mother

31. Divorced African Mother

54. Single Mom Life

67. Dating As a Single Mom

68. My Coparenting Experience

69. It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

In today's world where society seems to be more and more materialistic and entitled, how do we raise children to have an attitude of gratitude? In this episode I share my thoughts on teaching children to be more grateful, with examples from my own parenting experience. I talk about some of the benefits of living a grateful life, and share practical ways to teach children to be grateful.

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2. Children's Birthday Parties

4. Discipline and How Early is too Early

15. Your Child is Spoiled

When your children ask if they can go to their friends' houses for sleepovers, how do you respond? In this episode I share my thoughts on letting my daughter sleep over at someone else's house, as well as results from a poll posted on Instagram asking parents if they would let their child go to a sleepover. I also share a few tips for those parents who are considering letting their children attend a sleepover. 

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60. Teaching Children About Consent

In this episode, I shared responses from the Mommy Oyoyo audience to the question, "Should we be friends with our children? Yay or Nay?" The responses were varied with some advocating for being friends with our children, a few saying we should not be friends with our children, and others stating that there should be a balance between parenting and friendship. I share what my opinion was, and how I see things a little differently after doing some research into the topic. Listen to find out what I learned from reading a few articles on the subject matter and what majority of child psychologists and specialists have to say.

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59. Parenting Styles

21. No-Shout Parenting

15. Your Child is Spoiled

4. How Early is Too Early to Discipline a Child

In this episode Dr. Ijeoma Kola shares about her approach to parenting her toddler long-distance. Ijeoma talks about the decision for her family to maintain residences in two countries (Kenya and America), which takes her away from her son for a few weeks at a time. We discuss why mothers are reprimanded for prioritizing their careers, whereas fathers aren't. Ijeoma also shares what caused her to feel Mom Guilt and practical tips to mothers who may have to move long-distance in order to push their careers/education further.

In this episode I speak with Titi Sule about her work as an author, and helping her seven year-old son become a first-time author! Titi shares how her son came about to writing a book on his own, her initial hesitation, working with him to edit and eventually publish his book! Listen to hear some practical tips on how to foster creativity and learning within young children.

We have all heard the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child." It is an African proverb that speaks to the community or collective action of people in raising children. According to Wikipedia, "[it] means that an entire community of people must provide for and interact positively with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment." Essentially, parenting involves more than just the parents.

In this episode, I share 10 places where you can find people to be a part of your own parenting village!

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In this episode I share about how coparenting has gone so far. I share candidly about some of the harder times, including periods when we couldn't stand to talk to each other (hello BLOCK button, LOL!). I also talk about how things are faring currently, and my ultimate wish for our coparenting relationship.

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54. Single Mom Life

66. Child Support

31. Dealing with Divorce as an African Mum feat. Vera

25. Life as Single Mother feat. Ebube

67. Dating as a Single Mother feat. Ebube

In this episode, my second-time guest, Ebube gives us a life update! Since she first appeared on the podcast as a Single Mom, Ebube is now married and shares what her thought-process and journey was like as she navigated dating again. She answers questions about what she was looking for, how quickly she introduced her daughter to her now-husband, whether her daughter's father had any input or was informed prior to her getting married and more! She also shares advice to the single mother who may feel like she's damaged goods and should "just accept anyone that's willing to look at you."

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In this episode I share my thoughts on child support - paying child support and also requesting child support from the non-custodial parent. I talk about why some men may view child support in a negative light and I touch briefly on why all parties involved (whoever participated in the babymaking) should work to provide for their child[ren].

In most African cultures, having just one child is seen as irregular, atypical or maybe even lowkey taboo. Typically, couples are encouraged to have multiple children in the hopes/belief that when you get older, you will have many children to take care of you. Unfortunately, a lot of times, the ability to take care of children financially, emotionally, physically, etc does not seem to be a part of the conversation. 

In this episode I share why [at this time] I am perfectly fine with having just one child, even though there is some guilt attached to the decision. Listen as I talk about my concerns, fears, and contentment with being a mother of just one. 

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Third time guest Tomisin shares how she and her family caught covid, her symptoms and her recovery in this episode. 

In this episode, my guest Kome Olori shared about how she chose to leave her career as a corporate banker for a life of entrepreneurship. A lot of women while on maternity leave wonder about staying home with the child[ren], going back to work, or doing a little of both. Kome walked us through her thought process on starting her Amazon selling business, and starting the She Dares 2 Succeed coaching program for women entrepreneurs.

Follow Kome online: 

In this episode I speak with Vese, the author of children's book, 'Who Do I See in The Mirror?' and owner of the Philly & Friends lifestyle brand. Vese shares her thoughts on introducing and speaking to your children about diversity at an early age. Vese and her brand have been featured on BBC News, Huffington Post, Hello! Magazine and recently won the Absolutely Mama Best Brand 2020 award!

In this episode I speak with Lizzy, a Nigerian woman based in California about her motherhood experience so far while being in a wheelchair. Lizzy was disabled in 2008 after a spinal cord injury caused by a car crash. Lizzy shared how she manages her time as a full-time influencer, blogger, Youtuber and as a wife and mother to her adorable toddler, Zuri. She also talks about the different times she has had help (Omugwo), what house work she currently outsources, and how she gets in self-care. Lizzy shared the concerns she had concerning her disability and motherhood, and how she overcame them. 

In the past, women with children who wished to further their education typically waited until their children were all grown up before they went back to school. These days, more and more women are pursuing degrees and certifications while their children are still pretty young. 

In this episode I speak to Nene who recently graduated with a postgraduate degree in Education. She shares how she had to switch her home/life schedule multiple times and lean on her tribe for support while pursuing her degree. She also touched on getting your partner to be involved in active parenting, sharing home duties, and taking time out for self care.

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In this episode my guest, serial entrepreneur Victoria Downes shares her journey of the balancing act between being a business owner and mother. She talks about dealing with mom guilt when faced with needing to prioritize her business over attending her children's school activities, and how she has learned how to overcome the guilty feeling. Victoria shares how to lean on your village for help in raising your child(ren) and intentionally taking time for self care.  

According to Gallup World Poll data, Sub Saharan Africa has the highest percentage of single mothers worldwide - 32%. In typical African society, single motherhood is frowned upon (unless in the case of widowhood). Single mothers are meant to feel ashamed about raising children apart from their fathers. 

In this solo episode, I share about what being a single mother has been like for me in the past 3+ years. I touch on emotional wellbeing, finances, family/friend support and answer a couple of questions from Instagram followers.

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According to the World Health Organization (WHO), "Worldwide about 10% of pregnant women and 13% of women who have just given birth experience a mental disorder, primarily depression. In developing countries this is even higher, i.e. 15.6% during pregnancy and 19.8% after child birth. In severe cases mothers’ suffering might be so severe that they may even commit suicide." In African society, the stigmatization of mental health issues is prevalent and typically causes the majority of people to shy away from discussions around the topic.

In this episode, I speak with Adunni aka "Zee" about her experience going through postpartum depression following the birth of her son. Zee shared what led to her being diagnosed with PPD, the method of treatment she opted for, and gives some advice to women who feel that they may be going through postpartum depression as well.

Typically, when an African couple decides that they no longer want children, the woman bears the physical brunt of getting a a procedure done (hysterectomy, tubal ligation, etc) to prevent future pregnancies. It is pretty uncommon to find an African man who chooses to undergo a vasectomy. In fact, a UN report from 2013 stated that only 0.1% of African men have undergone vasectomies! A major reason why they don't can be attributed to ignorance, misinformation (No, a vasectomy will not affect sex drive or ability to enjoy sex) and the unfortunate stigma that can follow (Yes, you're still a man).  

In this episode, my guest Folabi, candidly shares his experience of getting a vasectomy. Folabi is a Nigerian-American man, and very open with going through this procedure. He talked about coming to the decision that he and his wife did not want more children, why he chose to get a vasectomy (as opposed to the typical African household where the woman gets her tubes tied), the after-effects and recovery following the procedure, and why he is so open about sharing his decision and experience.  

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In this episode, Sola Awe talks about being a Youtube Vlogger, whose family - husband and teenage daughters - appear frequently in their multiple Youtube channels. Sola shared how she started and has grown her Youtube channel over the years, involving her daughters in the filming and social media process (from getting paid to privacy and security concerns), managing a career, marriage, parenting, and her side hustles (Youtube, Coaching, Mentoring, etc).

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In this episode, my guest, Lola Dada-Olley shares the challenges that come with raising children on the autism spectrum. Lola's first child was about 18-months old when he was diagnosed with autism, and by then she had already given birth to her daughter who was also eventually diagnosed as autistic. Lola talked about receiving the diagnoses and learning to adapt her family's lifestyle to accommodate her children. She touches on having a collaborative partnership with her husband in raising their children, and building a community/network of families that have children with special needs. Lola talks about having had the experience of watching her youngest brother slip into autism and how it shaped her approach to rising to the challenges that came with her children's diagnoses, including sharing the different therapies each child goes through.

Ask the typical African person how they were raised and the majority of them will talk about being raised by their mothers, while their fathers were not actively involved in parenting. Traditional African values look at the mother as the primary parent - feeding the children, playing with/talking to them, spending quality time, teaching the children, etc; whereas African fathers are the breadwinners, and as such, supposedly have little or no time to participate in actively raising or parenting their children. We are in a time where there are clear benefits of having a father's involvement in his child's life. 

In this episode, I speak with Dapo Peters, a Nigerian-American man, who plays an active role in raising his daughter alongside his wife. Dapo shares what fatherhood means to him, how his father made it a point to spend time with him, his thoughts on gender differentiated parenting and more.

Sex education is virtually non-existent in Africa due to religious and societal upbringing. Sex is considered to be a taboo topic that should not be discussed, at least not out loud and certainly not in public.

In this part two of my conversation with sex educator/coach, Yeside aka OloriCoitus, she answers questions from the Mommy Oyoyo audience that include how to make time for sex, getting in the mood, how long a "good" sex session should be, lubricant options and more! This is a great episode for both men and women to listen to with their partners.

Sex education is virtually non-existent in Africa due to religious and societal upbringing. Sex is considered to be a taboo topic that should not be discussed, at least not out loud and certainly not in public. 

In this episode, sex educator/coach, Yeside aka OloriCoitus, speaks about how to discover or reclaim your sexuality, communicating your physical desires to your partner, the single mother and sex, Intimacy versus Sex, and partners with different levels of sexual drives (libido).

"Everybody wants to hold the baby, but who holds the mother?" (Jabina Coleman) 

In this episode, I have a chit chat with Mercy that touches on different aspects of raising her Nigerian children in England. We talk about identity, language, diversity, building a support system of mum friends, and working from home with children.

Ola Adegbenro, my guest in this episode, shares what having her two children prematurely was like. Her first child was born at 23 weeks (micropreemie) and spent 5 months in the NICU before being discharged home. Ola's second child was born at 29 weeks, about a month after she started Colourful Beginnings, a UK-based charity aimed at providing support to families with babies in the NICU. In this episode Ola talks about the emotions, challenges, testimonies and more that came along with her experiences. 

It seems like the world has reached a boiling point in the past two weeks: another killing of an unarmed black man in America, and young women/girls being killed senselessly and subjected to rape in Nigeria. In this bonus episode I just share my thoughts and heart on everything that's going on.

In today's episode, I chatted with Mama Z who struggled to get pregnant for about 7 years. She finally conceived, but unfortunately suffered a miscarriage a few months into her pregnancy. In her ninth year of marriage, Mama Z got pregnant again and on her tenth wedding anniversary, she and her husband celebrated their son's dedication. Listen to this episode as my anonymous guest shares her decade-long experience trying to conceive to having her child. (Kindly note it is a stock photo used in the cover art for this episode)

Fun fact: the first time I interacted with Mama Z was when she sent me an email in January 2016 to tell me that she was also trying to conceive - I had written a blog post at the end of 2015 and mentioned that I spent the entire year trying to get pregnant. We kept up communication, going from the random email here and there, to chatting on Whatsapp, and now having a voice conversation specifically for the podcast. I hope we get to meet some day!

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Is having mom friends important? How do you find or make mom friends? Is there a difference between mom friends in real life versus social media? In this episode, my guest Tomi and I talk about mom friends: whether it's necessary to have mom friends, the challenges of making (and keeping) mom friends, and more.

Follow Tomisin on Instagram @the.millennialmum and her Digital Media page @twentysix.digital 

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Finding balance and learning how to manage time as a busy working mom can seem almost impossible. Sometimes I wonder whether I have fewer hours in the day than other mums who seem to accomplish so much!

In this episode, Dr. Lola Day shares her time management tips as a working mom. She is a married mum of three, a full-time health professional, runs a weekly podcast, and also has a coaching outfit where she helps female entrepreneurs.
She talks about delegating and outsourcing different functions to help keep her balanced and prioritizing what is important to her.

Learn more about Dr. Lola Day via 

In this episode I talk about my high risk pregnancy: sharing why it was categorized as high risk, being admitted to the hospital twice, and having to be on strict bed rest.

Previous episodes you may be interested in:

"You need to try for a boy." "Who will carry on the family name?" "If you don't produce an heir, your husband will leave you." "Your girls will marry one day and leave you... you need a boy." 

If you're African, chances are that you've heard any of the above said to someone with only female children. In this episode, I interviewed Chinyere Abang of Yummy Mum Life about having three daughters, no son and what her response has been towards anyone who tells her she needs a male child. Chinyere is frank and honest about having some disappointment and getting over it. 

In today's world where social media is king, millions of people have accounts on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and an ever increasing number of social media platforms. People share photos of themselves, the things they eat, where they travel to and very often, their children too. With the digital age also comes privacy and information security concerns. From hacking to data breaches and stolen identities, the internet can be a scary place. 

In this episode I chat with Tomi Olatunde, founder of The Cuddle Blog about why she has chosen not to show her child's face online, citing some of the aforementioned reasons. 

Follow Tomi on social media @TheCuddleBlog and visit her website at www.thecuddleblog.com 

Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a new virus that had not been previously identified in humans. The virus causes respiratory illness (like the flu) with symptoms such as a cough, fever and in more severe cases, pneumonia. Covid-19 is spreading through the world at a seemingly uncontrollable pace, the World Health Organization officially declared it a pandemic and the fight is on to contain the spread of the virus. At this time there is a lot of misinformation and confusion about coronavirus, causing anxiety, mass hysteria, panic buying and more across the world. 

In this episode, I interviewed Dr. Ada Adejoro MD, a US-based pediatrician and she answered a few common questions about coronavirus, and shared tips to prevent catching the viral infection. 

Vera Ezimora is a vivacious content creator who is not one to shy away from having hard conversations. After writing all (and I mean EVERYTHING) that led to the end of her marriage, Vera was gracious enough to share what her thought process was like in coming to the decision to divorce, from the standpoint as an African mother. Divorce can still be considered taboo in a lot of African societies, but it is becoming more and more common within Africa and in the Diaspora as well. In this episode we talk about her deciding to leave her marriage, to when/what/how to approach telling her daughter, and advice Vera would give to women in similar situations. 

Have you ever heard about giving birth like the Hebrew woman? Do you know the origin of the Hebrew Woman birth story? If you have had children or are currently pregnant, has anyone ever prayed that you give birth like the Hebrew woman? In this episode, I chat with Ibiene Warmann, who calls herself a Slayer of Pregnancy Fears. In our discussion, Ibiene shared about overcoming her fears and anxiety towards childbirth. She was aware that the overwhelming information about childbirth is largely negative, with screaming mothers-to-be in pain. Ibiene sought out information that helped her have a peaceful and joyful birth experience. In this episode, Ibiene talks about the Hebrew Woman "ideal" and shares more about her brand, Birthing Blissfully, which is aimed at giving women practical tips to leverage faith, and find the right information to have positive birth experiences.