By Chris Creamer & Chris Sacco
Movie MarksDec 29, 2021
Episode 50 - Ready to Rumble starring WCW
It's been a long hard road but here we are: we've finally arrived at episode 50. What better way to celebrate than with one of the pillars of wrestling and film. It's Ready to Rumble. Did this film cause the downfall of WCW? I mean... it didn't help. But we aren't here for that, we're here for the redemption of the legendary Jimmy King. We also look back at our past episodes and celebrate the films we've covered previously with the Movie Marks Marks of Excellence, our special awards presentation.
Episode 49 - Kingdom of Gladiators starring Corey Graves & Annie Social
Episode 48 - Covid 19: Invasion starring Kevin Nash
Episode 47 - Sniper Special Ops starring Rob Van Dam
Have you ever wanted to see a major action star sit in a chair for 90 minutes? We've got you covered. This week a team of special ops soldiers and a photographer go on a series of missions. Are these mission related? I mean... I guess they are. Lucky for them they have Steven Segal as an elite sniper who does almost no sniping. In a seemingly unrelated storyline: Rob Van Dam is in this movie and does the thumb thing once or twice.
Episode 46 - Calamity Jane's Revenge starring Al Snow
Martha Jane Cannary or, as she’s better known, Calamity Jane is one of the most well known personalities from the Wild West. Books, movies, and prestigious TV series have all covered her colorful life in great (and fairly accurate) detail. Today's film throws all that out the window and just wings it. It’s a bold choice and we’re going to see if it pays off. Hot on Jane's tail is Al Snow (minus Head) who’s always just one step behind her. Hopefully he catches up before Calamity Jane gets her REVENGE!!!
Episode 45 - Active Stealth starring Terry Funk
This week on the show we cover a staple of direct-to-VHS action films: a generic South American-esque country with a corrupt ruler and drug kingpin. Watch as an awful plan unfolds so that they can capture the US military's latest equipment.... ACTIVE STEALTH! Will they succeed in their evil plan to own a stealth fighter in order to, apparently, deliver drugs quietly? Can the good guys use the power of Daniel Baldwin to defeat evil? Or will the bad guys be triumphant thanks to their secret weapon and Movie Marks G.O.A.T. Terry Funk?
Episode 44 - Bad Guys "starring" Sgt. Slaughter
This week's episode is one of our favorite sub-genres of films: 1980s wrestling movies where everyone believes wrestling is 100% real. This time a pair of cops need to find a new line of work and of course their fallback is professional wrestling. Join us and enjoy that one guy from that thing you watched that one time and his partner look to be the best BAD GUYS in professional wrestling. Also... Sgt. Slaughter is definitely in this film. He's one absolutely one of the leads. We promise. But while you wait for Sarge, you can be entertained by the legend Gene LeBell and his on-screen significant other Ruth Buzzi (ask your grandparents).
Episode 43 - Royal Kill starring Gail Kim
This week we have a film that is "inspired by true events." Neither of us have ever seen a film use that term so loosely. What starts off as a run of the mill "protect the princess" story takes a wild turn that nobody ... and we mean NOBODY ... saw coming. Join us, Eric Roberts, Pat Morita, and star Gail Kim as we experience Royal Kill. Trust us. It's quite the experience.
Episode 42 - The Condemned starring Steve Austin
This week on the show it’s time for an island getaway. Listen as a TV producer tries to manipulate the public by focusing on the worst people they can find for their convict murder Olympics. Unfortunately for our evil producer he made one big mistake: He brought along Jack Conrad (Stone Cold), a US special forces soldier who’s been put in jail...for some reason. There's no escape for eight of the contestants or the audience.
Episode 41 - Copper Bill starring Dustin Rhodes
This week it’s a Texas-sized treasure hunt as a pair of low level criminals look for lost cowboy mafia treasure. Join us as we watch people with no plan whatsoever really hope a lot of super specific things happen so it all works out. It’s swerve city as we watch Copper Bill starring Dustin "The Natural Goldust" Rhodes.
Episode 40 - Arrow & Burke's Law starring Cody & Dusty Rhodes
This week on the show it’s a Father’s Day extravaganza! We start off with a visit to Star City to experience the first appearance of Cody Rhodes in the Arrowverse as Derek Sampson. Then we hit the way-back machine and visit the American Dream Dusty Rhodes playing Mad Dog in an episode of Burke's Law called “Who Killed Skippy's Master?” It's a Father's Day double-dip packed with confusing plot threads from episodes we haven't seen, Lethal Weapon references, and a woman inexplicably buried up to her chin in sand.
Episode 39 - Stormageddon starring John Morrison
Grab your umbrella and put on your boots because there’s a storm a-brewing. Gather your friends and family and hunker down inside the old library. You know about the old library don’t you? We abandoned it when we built the new one, but still left it exactly as it was. Luckily John Morrison makes his return to the show to protect us from STORMAGEDDON! Oh... Did we mention there’s also killer cyborgs in this movie? Does that do anything for you?
Episode 38 - Curse of the Wolf starring Lanny Poffo and The Blue Meanie
Listen... We don't even know where to start with this one. The good? We get to watch The Genius Lanny Poffo and ECW original The Blue Meanie make some movie magic. The not so good? Everything else. The best way to sum this one up is to say that a werewolf veterinarian falls in love, runs away from her werewolf family, and hides four blocks across town. But not in that order.
Episode 37 - Empire State starring The Rock
Did you know that before Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was the biggest action star on the planet, he occasionally made movies that had almost no action? Yeah, neither did we. Join us as we dive headfirst into the uninteresting and genre-less 2013 film Empire State, which stars Liam Hemsworth as a crook with a heart of gold. Marvel not only at the meandering and incoherent plot structure, but also at how misused every member of the cast is. (Emma Roberts is in this movie and contributes so little we're pretty sure she has no recollection of the film.) The good news is that this episode has one of the most fun Swerves we've ever done as we play "Which Hemsworth is Which?"
Episode 36 - The Treasure of Dracula - The Sexy Vampire Version starring El Santo
The war between good and evil has raged since the dawn of time. In the latest chapter of this neverending skirmish we have two legends. In one corner is the greatest luchador that ever lived, El Santo. In the other we have the king of the undead, the man with a thirst for blood, Dracula. Feel the excitement as Santo spends most of the movie watching TV as Dracula does some vaguely evil stuff. Oh, and did we mention that this isn't just any version of the movie... it's the sexy vampire edition? Probably should have lead with that.
Episode 35 - Reggie's Prayer starring Paul "The Big Show" Wight
Over the years there have been many classic films about teachers making a difference. To Sir, With Love, Dead Poets Society, Stand and Deliver, and of course The Principal, which features an Oscar-worthy performance by Jim Belushi. But this week we come together to discuss possibly the best of them all: Reggie's Prayer. Former NFL player and WCW alumnus Reggie White plays Reggie Knox (apparently from The Tony Danza School of Character Naming) who steps away from football to make a difference in the life of Portland youths. The only person standing in Reggie's way is drug kingpin Mr. Portola, played by Paul "The Big Show" Wight. Let's find out if the NFL Hall of Famer can overcome the future WWE Hall of Famer and save these kids.
Episode 34 - The Marine 6 - Close Quarters starring The Miz, Becky Lynch, and Shawn Michaels
It's a Mania sized episode this week as we skip all the nonsense (as well as four sequels) and get right to the sixth entry in John Cena's Marine franchise. We're covering The Marine 6: Close Quarters, which doesn't star John Cena, but does include a performance by The Man herself, Becky Lynch. This flick continues the tradition of handing off a successful action franchise to fresh young talent. In this case it's a handoff to 52-year-old youngster Shawn Michaels. Let us help you to navigate this "tribute" to Die Hard and together we'll celebrate the greatest marine of them all... The Miz.
Episode 33 - Tag Team starring Jesse Ventura & Roddy Piper + Dune Trivia Special
All the stars are out for the Movie Marks Academy Awards special. Luckily, this year a film featuring a wrestler is nominated for a bunch of Oscars, and we're definitely going to take the opportunity to exploit it. We talk a little bit about Dave Bautista's Dune in a way only the Movie Marks can. But before we throw on our tuxedoes for the red carpet, let's take a detour and watch something that didn't get nominated for any awards. It's the 1991 failed TV pilot Tag Team. Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura leave the world of wrestling and immediately land jobs as undercover cops. Listen to us gush over how much we would have loved this show if it was actually picked up. That doesn't mean it's good. It just means there's something wrong with us.
Episode 32 - The Dog Wedding starring Matt Bloom aka Albert
Episode 31 - Chokeslam starring Chelsea Green and Mick Foley
It’s February and that means that love is in the air. What are you thinking of getting your significant other? Can we recommend chocolates? A fine meal? Jewelry? How about a chokeslam? But not just any chokeslam, we're talking about the 2016 "romantic" "comedy" Chokeslam starring Chelsea Green and Hall of Famer Mick Foley. Join the Movie Marks in finding out all the wrong ways to win someone’s heart.
Episode 30 - Minor Role Rumble + Fall of Grayskull starring Brian Cage
This week the Movie Marks have devised a special treat for you. In honor of Saturday's Royal Rumble we present the first ever MOVIE MARKS MINOR ROLE RUMBLE! We're highlighting wrestlers in roles that aren't big enough to carry a full episode, but still made an impact. Before we get to the main event, however, we take some time to discuss Fall of Grayskull starring "The Machine" Brian Cage as He-Man. Let's see what kind of low-budget magic a fan film can muster with a single green screen and less than 40 minutes.
Episode 29 - Inconceivable starring Eva Marie
It's time for some Movie Marks math. Face/Off minus Travolta plus Eva Marie divided by a Lifetime Original equals what? If you answered Inconceivable then you're correct. Your prize? Today's episode. Listen as we talk about a family that is doing everything in their power to ignore red flags that will surely not put them on the wrong side of a psychopath.
Episode 28 - Jingle All The Way 2 starring Santino Marella
This week on the show we will be playing the part of the relatives you don't care enough about to visit on or even before Christmas. The holiday is over and now you have to go to their houses and awkwardly exchange gifts. Well just like your worst aunt, we got you a gift you're sure to hate. Instead of the the Arnold version of Jingle All the Way we got you a stocking stuffed with Larry the Cable Guy. This week we're talking about Jingle All the Way 2, the sequel nobody wanted with absolutely zero of the original's charm. Lucky for us Santino Marella is along for the ride so at least we've got that.
Episode 27 - Santa's Little Helper starring The Miz & Paige
It's the holidays, so that means it's time for trees, presents, hot cocoa, and Christmas movies. Our first gift to you this holiday season is the WWE Studios film Santa's Little Helper. Let's find out if The Miz is up to snuff to become Santa's number one helper with a job title so bizarre you'll have to listen to our show to actually hear it. Along the way he runs into an elf with an attitude played by Paige. It's 100% what you should expect from a holiday movie, but only half of the time.
Episode 26 - No Holds Barred starring Hulk Hogan
For an entire generation of wrestling fans, No Holds Barred was the film that proved competitors from the ring could exist outside our television screens. That wasn't necessarily a good thing. Let us guide you down this river of DOOKIE for the ultimate (and confusing) battle between a good-ish wrestler and an evil-ish television executive. There may be no holds barred, but logic and a coherent script are definitely barred from this one.
Episode 25 - Pizza Man starring Diamond Dallas Page
This week we continue our mission to collect the cast of Malcolm in the Middle like Thanos does Infinity Stones. Frankie Muniz is ... [dramatic pause] ... Pizza Man! Every hero needs a nemesis and Frankie has to deal with The Big Cheese, played by former world champion and yoga enthusiast Diamond Dallas Page. Join us as we breakdown a series of awkward cameos intercut with the battle for control of a genetically modified tomato. Yes, that's actually the plot of this movie.
Episode 24 - Sting Moment of Truth starring Sting
It's been a wild ride for the man called Sting. Lucky for us he's letting us peek behind the curtain at his career...at least to the best of his recollection. Watch as we experience all the highlights of Sting's career like tuna fish and orange juice smoothies, the Ultimate Warrior using a public toilet, and the greatest moment of his life: riding a rollercoaster. Let's relive history together and learn what Sting's "moment of truth" really was. (Spoiler: This film doesn't contain any moments of truth.)
Episode 23 - Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies starring Roddy Piper, Shane Douglas & Friends
Hamilton vs. Burr, Frazier vs. Ali, and Harding vs. Kerrigan are some of the greatest battles in history. But none of them can touch the heat of Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies. Watch as wrestling legends from WWF, ECW, and AEW come together and attempt to survive the night. Spoiler: It doesn't work out for most of them.
Episode 22 - See No Evil starring Kane
It's officially spooky season and the Marks kick it off right with See No Evil, the very first offering from WWE Studios. Join us as a group of highly unlikeable teens spend the night in an abandoned hotel with noted eye fetishist Kane. There's a lot of unsettling things that happen in this movie but one scene in particular will haunt your every waking moment for the rest of your life. Everything about this movie is pretty gross so keep that hand sanitizer ready and let's go trick or treating with the mayor of Knox County.
Episode 21 - Cosmic Sin starring C.J. "Lana" Perry
Episode 20 - Snake Eater III... His Law starring Bam Bam Bigelow
Do you like your movie heroes vindictive, sadistic, and barely heroic at all? Well the Movie Marks have just the hero for you. His name is Soldier. Or maybe it's Kelly. Or maybe it's Snake Eater. Regardless, he's a cop. Or maybe he's a private investigator. Or maybe he's neither. Regardless, he's a terrible protagonist. And Bam Bam Bigelow is in this movie too. Join us for Snake Eater 3... His Law.
Episode 19 - Inside Out starring Triple H
Take one look at the poster for this week's movie and you would think it's your standard, run of the mill crime thriller. Well, the Movie Marks are here to tell you that the poster is a lie. This movie is easily one of the most insane and bizarre films we've covered to date. There's a lot of untaxed cigarettes and even more pickles. So many pickles. Let's head down to Brooklyn, Louisiana with some really great actors cashing checks and hanging out with Hunter.
Episode 18 - Vampiro Warrior of the Night starring Vampiro
The Marks finally check out a film starring a legendary luchador. No, it's not El Santo or Blue Demon. Instead it's the legendary member of the Dark Carnival, Vampiro. (WHOOP! WHOOP!) This movie has something for everyone. Weird ewok robots, guns that shoot giant flies, mannequins, and a completely absent hero. So spend some time with us as we fail to even remotely explain what happens in this movie.
Episode 17 - The Resurrection of Gavin Stone starring Shawn Michaels
What happens when a Hollywood bad boy lives life so close to the edge that he finally falls? Well the only thing that happens in the world of faith-based cinema is that he's forced to join his hometown church's stage production about the life of Jesus. During this journey, he learns that there are things more important than fame and debauchery like friendship and faith. Also Shawn Michaels is in this film playing a character simply named Doug. Yup. Doug. It's The Resurrection of Gavin Stone on the Movie Marks.
Episode 16 - River of Darkness starring Kurt Angle
On this week's episode of the Movie Marks, we take a leisurely trip down the River of Darkness with YOUR olympic hero Kurt Angle. It's got a few vengeful ghosts and lots of gripping small-town political drama. Along the way we'll visit friends like Big Sexy Kevin Nash, Psycho Sid, and Glacier!
Episode 15 - The Marine starring John Cena
Before he was Fast or Furious, before he was a Trainwreck, John Cena was just a man trying to readjust to civilian life. The only thing standing in his way is the T-1000 and a whole lot of walking. Let's explore the film that would launch a career as well as a neverending WWE Films franchise. (Full disclosure: this episode was recorded prior to a major production upgrade for the Movie Marks. Don't judge us. We feel you judging us.)
Episode 14 - Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe starring Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Episode 13 - Army of the Dead starring Batista
Fresh from the oven and directly to your ear holes the Movie Marks present Army of the Dead. Zack Snyder revisits the genre that got him to the show with a zombie movie that mixes in a little Ocean's Eleven and a whole lot of WTF. Snyder won’t be walking alone on this one because Dave Bautista is along for this very long walk through Las Vegas that features the occasional zombie, the occasional tiger, and the occasional time loop subplot. Seriously? We're the Movie Marks and we'll be your guides through Army of the Dead.
Episode 12 - The Main Event starring Keith Lee & The Miz
This week we take a look at the WWE Studios film The Main Event. If you like hearing people refer to wrestlers as "superstars" and fans as "the universe," have we got the movie for you. This movie takes place in a bizarre alternate reality where normal people use all of your favorite Vince/WWE buzzwords. Young Leo Thompson dreams of being a WWE superstar (not wrestler) and he finds a magical mask that gives him all the abilities he needs to achieve his dreams. So get ready to watch a middle-schooler embarrass your favorite wrestlers from NXT like Keith Lee and Babatunde. There's plenty of WWE talent in this movie and literally all of them are under used. So it's really not any different from watching an episode of Raw.
Episode 11 - Doom starring The Rock
The year is 2026 and we have found a way to open a portal between Nevada and Mars. What for? It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we have the first appearance by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on the latest episode of the Movie Marks. Get ready for a thrilling, 10-minute tribute to the namesake video game wrapped in 100+ minutes of confusing nonsense. We promise our episode will be shorter and less painful. You're welcome.
Episode 10 - Wise Guys starring Captain Lou Albano
Let the Movie Marks take you back in time to the year 1986. We have a can't-miss film starring one comedy veteran, a hot fresh face from SNL, the director of Scarface, and Captain Lou. There's no possible way this movie won't be a smash hit! What? You've never heard of this love letter to New Jersey? Well let us get you familiar with whatever this is. It's Wise Guys with Captain Lou Albano on the Movie Marks.
Episode 9 - Interrogation starring Edge
It's a very special bonus episode of the Movie Marks. What could possibly get us to break our very strict every other week format? Well of course it's Wrestlemania and what better way to celebrate than with the Rated R Superstar Edge. A main event talent deserves a main event podcast to discuss his 2016 movie Interrogation. Get ready to experience a film with almost zero interrogations, but plenty of people making really poor decisions. And man that computer expert character sure looks familiar. So whether it's before the showcase of the immortals or as a cure for your Mania hangover, check out this week's episode.
Episode 8 - Countdown starring Dolph Ziggler
This week the Movie Marks make their inaugural trip into the world of WWE Studios. Dolph Ziggler plays a cop that can't be bothered by procedures, rules, or common decency. It's a race against time to find a missing child who has a bomb strapped to him. Along the way we stop at a bunch of generic locations (tattoo parlor, lumber yard, etc.) as well as a WWE house show. Lucky for us our hero doesn't give a single damn about anyone's safety. Also Kane is the chief of police. (Insert shrug here.) It's Countdown.
Episode 7 - Three Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain starring Hulk Hogan
The second-most famous group of crime fighting ninja brothers are back! When their trip to local theme park Mega Mountain is interrupted by a confusingly diverse team of evildoers, the 3 Ninjas will need some major league help. Lucky for them martial arts master Dave Dragon (played by Hulk Hogan for some reason) is recently unemployed and also at the park. Together they'll all try to save Mega Mountain from Loni Anderson and Jim Varney. So strap in, listeners, for a movie where absolutely everyone is miscast.
Episode 6 - Kaiju Mono starring Kota Ibushi
Tokyo is under attack by a giant prehistoric monster and the only people that can save the city are a cosplaying scientist and his lowly loser assistant. Lucky for them they found a way to turn the assistant into one of the best professional wrestlers in the world: the great Kota Ibushi. Oh and he's as tall as a skyscraper somehow. Will this be enough to save Tokyo? Is there a pointless spy subplot? Is there a cameo by another Japanese wrestling legend? Obviously the answer to all these questions is yes. So join the Movie Marks for giant-sized adventure in Kaiju Mono.
Episode 5 - Bail Enforcers starring Trish Stratus
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Episode 4 - Mom, Can I Keep Her? starring Terry Funk
We here at Movie Marks aren't 100% sure how to describe this week's film. This direct to VHS children's film slowly unravels into a tale of madness that grips not just a family but the entire community. It becomes so insane that it only makes sense that living legend - and equally crazy - Terry Funk is part of what is about to be your new favorite movie. We recommend the listener indulges in their vice of choice because it only enhances the viewing experience that is Mom, Can I Keep Her?
Episode 3 - Santa's Slay starring Goldberg
On this week's episode of the Movie Marks, we explore the holiday classic Santa’s Slay. Goldberg has a lot in common with Santa Claus: They both show up once a year and dominate hours of your life for a lackluster payoff. Join us as we break down each and every merry murder on episode three.
Episode 2 - Boone The Bounty Hunter starring John Morrison
Johnny Impact, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Nitro, and John Morrison are just a few of the names used by today's superstar. But the only name we care about is Boone. We take a trip south of the border for bounty hunting action. Or, at least, what action movies think bounty hunting is all about. Along the way, we learn about the biggest bounty of all....friendship.
Episode 1 Body Slam starring Roddy Piper
Here it is: Episode one of the Movie Marks podcast. There's no better place to start than at the intersection of rock and wrestling. This movie is bursting at the seams with warriors of the ring so come for Roddy Piper, but stay for a pointless Ric Flair cameo.