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Neurodiverse Love-Increasing Understanding...One Conversation At A Time.

Neurodiverse Love-Increasing Understanding...One Conversation At A Time.

By Neurodiverse Love

Increasing understanding of the strengths, differences, and challenges in mixed neurotype relationships...one conversation at a time. We all have differently wired brains and each one of us has different communication styles, emotional and social needs, processing speeds, and sensory needs. Whether you're autistic, allistic, or neurotypical this podcast is for you! Learn about other's lived experiences, lessons learned, and strategies for understanding how neurological differences can impact your relationship.
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Stages of Change, Importance of Active Listening and How to Make a Paradigm Shift-Barbara Grant

Neurodiverse Love-Increasing Understanding...One Conversation At A Time.Nov 22, 2022

00:00
01:06:47
How the ADHD Traits of Impulsivity, Distractibility and Hyperactivity May Be Impacting Your Relationships-Ryan Mayer

How the ADHD Traits of Impulsivity, Distractibility and Hyperactivity May Be Impacting Your Relationships-Ryan Mayer

Although Ryan Mayer received his ADHD diagnosis in high school, he didn't find his most authentic life until he became a certified ADHD. During this episode, Ryan shares the impact ADHD had on his career, his marriage and family and how he has turned his lived experiences into impactful messages on social media and a coaching career that is helping other's live their best life.

During this episode, we have an great discussion about the hallmark traits of ADHD: impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity. We also address:

  • Feeling both relief and regret.
  • Understanding that the "shininess" will wear off.
  • The importance of getting accommodations at school and work.
  • Advocate for your needs.
  • Getting fired and crashing and burning.
  • Having healthy outlets to get dopamine hits
  • Managing dopamine hits from our smartphones.
  • Understanding and managing addictive or risky behaviors.
  • Being proactive if you know you are easily distracted.
  • Prioritizing tasks.
  • Masking vs being your most authentic self.
  • Remembering your partner isn't a mind reader.
  • Lack of communication and understanding leads to higher divorce rates.
  • When you say "yes", you also say "no".
  • Being full present and make moments matter.
  • Understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to speak your partners love language.

You can follow Ryan on IG @adhd_coach_ryanmayer, on FB @Ryan Mayer ADHD Coaching, or on TikTok @ADHD_coach_ryan. You can also check out his website @ www.ryanmayercoaching.com to enroll in Ryan's 10 day text based course "How to Find Work that WORKS for Your ADHD" and you can get a 30% discount by using the code NDLOVE30 .

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Sep 19, 202301:04:60
Discovering Unknown Neurodiversity Changed Our Marriage Forever-Brooke Ward

Discovering Unknown Neurodiversity Changed Our Marriage Forever-Brooke Ward

During this episode, Brooke Ward, LMFT shares the challenges she and her husband experienced before learning they were in a mixed neurotype marriage. When Brooke was diagnosed with ADHD she began to do some individual work to better understand her neurotype, however she soon realized that her husband might also benefit from better understanding his neurology. That process led him to discovering that he is AuDHD and has Sensory Processing Disorder. Brooke shares her lived experiences and the ways in which trauma and unknown neurodiversity impacted her marriage. She shares about some of the major misunderstandings that occurred and what led her to believe that the root cause may be neurological differences. In this episode we discuss lots of important issues including: Co-dependency. Feeling alone and like you are being taking advantage of. Being a creature of habit. Lack of communication or being angry and emotional. Feeling abandoned when your partner is focused on their deep interest. Sensory issues with an infant. Changes to routine after having a child. Dysregulation and emotional communication. Creating structure and routines for parenting. Change can be like working with play-doh or titanium. ADHD and impulsivity and instant gratification. Motivation, capacity and the ability to see things differently. Unmasking and changing careers. Understanding sensory sensitivities and the benefits of earbuds and comfortable clothes. Increased ability to repair after conflict. Memory loss after emotional dysregulation. Understanding your partner may not always be able to show up for your emotionally. Abuse is abuse no matter what your neurotype is. Understanding reactions that are not appropriate to the situation. Lack of awareness and education on Autism, ADHD and neurodiversity in universities that are training helping professionals. Stigma, shame, stereotypes create challenges...we need a paradigm shift! Patience, awareness, capacity, motivation, accountability, and shifting your internal views. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and hope of what you thought your relationships would be. Understanding that there will be grief.

You can contact Brooke at: www.brookewardlmft.com

If you are experiencing domestic violence in your relationship and you live in the United States you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline at: 800-799-7233. If you are in the United Kingdom you can call: 0808-2000-247. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com


Sep 12, 202301:21:19
How Different Communication Styles, Alexythymia and Cognitive Empathy Can Impact Your Relationship- Thomas Henley

How Different Communication Styles, Alexythymia and Cognitive Empathy Can Impact Your Relationship- Thomas Henley

During this episode with Thomas Henley, the "Thoughty Auti" we begin our conversation talking about dating challenges and how to better understand how different neurology may have an impact on your dating relationships. If you are in a relationship and would like to skip the dating discussion it starts at about 12:30 and ends at about 35:25.

After we discuss dating, Thomas shares openly and honestly about the following topics:

  • Understanding your different communication styles.
  • The impact of misunderstanding and miscommunication.
  • Using emojis to understand "tone".
  • The way different thoughts are expressed and the impact of being direct.
  • Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
  • Being patient and really trying to understand your partner.
  • Both partners may feel like they are not heard, understood or validated.
  • Alexythymia-difficulty noticing and categorizing your emotions.
  • The value of "explaining emotions", not just "expressing" them.
  • Difficulty regulating emotions.
  • Understanding that it may take your autistic partner a few hours, days or longer to know what they are feeling.
  • Cognitive empathy and the challenge with being able to give the response the other person needs.
  • If you're invested in your relationship, assume good intentions.
  • Saying exactly what you are thinking and feeling with no subtext.
  • Being patient, rather then making snap judgements.
  • Forgetting that your brains are different in the midst of conflict.
  • Understanding intimacy and sensory profiles.
  • The challenges of having lots of indirect communication with physical and sexual intimacy.
  • Feeling safe to communicate your intimacy needs.
  • Mental health challenges can impact intimacy.


  • The nuances of dating and on-line apps.
  • How the "Pick-Up Artists" are impacting dating.
  • Trying to make dating into something logical and scripted.
  • Not everyone has the social battery to go out in public, or start conversations with strangers when on dates.


You can e-mail Thomas Henley at: hi@thomashenley.co.uk and follow him on social media, listen to his podcast, or YouTube videos here.

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If you want to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Sep 05, 202301:53:05
Are Your Expectations Too High or Just Very Different?

Are Your Expectations Too High or Just Very Different?

During this solo episode, Mona addresses a topic that may be creating some misunderstanding, disconnection and challenges in your Neurodiverse Love relationship.

Some people say that if we don't have expectations, then we can never be disappointed. However, how many of us can really say that we have no expectations in our relationships? Maybe, instead of having no expectations, we can think about whether or not we have clearly and concisely communicated our expectations? What might happen if you and your partner talked about the expectations you have of each other and then listened to each other to truly "understand" what each of you want, need and prefer in the areas where your expectations seem to be repeatedly dismissed or not met?
When we have expectations of our partner and have not communicated them with compassion and love, in a clear and concise manner, we may feel like our expectations are too high, but maybe they're not.

During this episode, Mona explores the expectations we may have in the following areas:

Communication-how often and for how long do you want to talk each day? What does the tone of your communication really mean? Is eye contact really that important? How do you each define a "timely response"?
Physical and Sexual Intimacy-how often do you each want to be touched and what types of touch feel good? How important is eye contact when being intimate? What sensory sensitivities or differences need to be explored?
Emotional-what do you each expect when you’re upset? How important is alone time to process emotions? What is the best way to move from dysregulation to balance and a regulated nervous system?
————————————————If you want more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for Neurodiverse Couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at:
neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com
Aug 29, 202329:33
Married to the Iceman-Communication and Perspective Differences: Understanding and Accepting What Is-Lilo and Bill

Married to the Iceman-Communication and Perspective Differences: Understanding and Accepting What Is-Lilo and Bill

Lilo and Bill offer so many valuable insights and lessons based on the learned experiences they have had before and after Bill was diagnosed as an autist. They have been together for over 30 years, and Bill received his autism diagnosis after more then 20 years of marriage (and lots of challenges they didn't understand).

During this episode, Bill and Lilo share openly and honestly about how they have struggled and persevered in love. Bill spent 24 years in the military and Lilo is an artist, hairdresser, and home-schooled all of her children. They have moved 14 times and through all of the ups and downs of life they have discovered the unique strengths, challenges and differences that have helped them grow and learn about each other in ways they never expected. This episode is filled with lots of laughs and insights that will be helpful for all neurotypes.

The topics we address include:

  • Communication challenges and ways to address them
  • Asking your partner if they "will" do something, instead of if they "want" to do something
  • Marriage is a contest of generosities.
  • Being unorthodox and eccentric.
  • Understanding how you each "recharge" differently.
  • Mr. Spock as a spirit animal?
  • When one partner wants a "mute" button for the other.
  • Having a "neurostat' for sensory input.
  • When strengths may also create challenges.
  • Struggles and failure can make us stronger.
  • Love is the glue that helps us advance civilization
  • Being a learning organism.
  • Give up on what's supposed to be a "normal" marriage/relationship and accepting what is.
  • Being a life dog, navigator, personal assistant.
  • Stop expecting an apple to be a pear.
  • Everyone is a swiss cheese person and you need to fill your own holes.
  • Texts and emails remove "tone".
  • Time limits when discussing emotional issues.
  • Rituals and routine.
  • When holidays and presents don't have the same value or importance.
  • Is it black and white thinking or both non-linear and linear?
  • Patience is critical.
  • Understanding different perspectives regarding loneliness and time alone.
  • The life changing impact of understanding autism.


You can listen to Lilo's podcast called "Touching the 'Tism" or Bill's podcast "Chasing Ghosts: An Irregular Warfare Podcast". You can e-mail Lilo at marriedtotheiceman@gmail.com or email Bill at: cgpodcast@pm.me


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  • If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
  • Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
  • Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
  • Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
  • Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Aug 22, 202301:21:30
What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship?-Sarah Swenson

What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship?-Sarah Swenson

On Wednesday, September 13, 2023, from 7:30-9:00pm EST, Mona Kay and Sarah Swenson will be co-facilitating a workshop on Zoom titled: "What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship". The cost is $25 per individual or couple.

If you would like to join us for this important workshop, please click here. The workshop will "NOT" be recorded, so participants can discuss the issues that are most important to them. However, if there is enough interest, we may be offer the workshop again.


During this episode with coach and licensed therapist Sarah Swenson, LMHC, we discuss many of the critical issues that a lot of neurodiverse couples may be dealing with on a regular basis. We talk about the importance of both partners being validated, so that each feels heard and seen. We also address the importance of being respectful of each other's differences and knowing what each partner is able to accommodate, and the importance of having grace for each other. Sarah talks about the value of understanding that some things can be changed and some can't, and knowing the difference. She also addresses some of the common challenges that neurodiverse couples have, which include: communication differences, not understanding why one partner is so angry at the other, loneliness in the relationship, and challenges with the extended family.

Other topics that are discussed include:

  • The critical importance of working with a therapist or coach who has expertise in working with neurodiverse couples.
  • The Tragic Dance-when love exists, but may not be enough.
  • Understanding the weight of history and the predictive value it has had in the past.
  • Remembering history is history and it is not predictive of your future relationship.
  • Breaking old communication habits.
  • The importance of starting with a "beginners mind".
  • Making the choice and commitment to acknowledge that each partner is acting in "good faith".
  • Slowing down when processing information or emotions.
  • Pausing and giving each other space in conversations.
  • Understanding the meaning and nuance of different emotions.
  • Intuitive or non-intuitive processing of emotions and how we revert to "our type" during duress.
  • The value of communicating in writing.
  • Understanding that saying "I don't know" is a statement of fact.
  • Ways to reduce loneliness in a relationship.
  • Why one partner may often respond with a "no" when you bump into their "rules" or "rubrik".
  • Understanding your partner's "singular focus" and how that might be impacting your relationship.
  • Differences in "non-verbal" communication.

  • If you want to connect with more of Sarah's work, you can subscribe to her Substack at: sarahswensonlmhc.substack.com or check out her website at: www.theneurodiversecouple.com

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  • If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
  • Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
  • Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
  • Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
  • Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Aug 15, 202301:06:58
Season 6-Respect, Compassion and Love for Ourselves and Our Partners-with Mona and Olga

Season 6-Respect, Compassion and Love for Ourselves and Our Partners-with Mona and Olga

Welcome to Season 6 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Three years ago, Mona and Olga started this podcast to share their lived experiences in the neurodiverse relationships that they had that had ended. After exploring the ins and outs of the many relationships they have had with neurodivergent men, they share some of the lessons they have learned and ways in which they have grown. They also discuss the importance of respect, compassion and love for yourself and your partner, and how each can make a difference in how we live our lives, become our most authentic selves, and create emotional safety in our relationships.

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Aug 09, 202330:45
Understanding Your Sensory Profile, Nervous System and Processing Styles-Sarah Bergenfield

Understanding Your Sensory Profile, Nervous System and Processing Styles-Sarah Bergenfield

During this episode, Sarah Bergenfield shares a little about the path she and her daughter traveled to discover they are both autistic, and how as a therapist she is helping other neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples as they move forward on their own unique journeys.


Sarah is a Certified Level 3, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. She provides information on the value of understanding the “parts” that may have been created as an undiagnosed autistic person. She also shares critically important information about Polyvagal Theory and why it's important to understand what happens when you are in a dysregulated or regulated state, as you are scanning for cues of "safety" or "danger". Sarah also talks about autism being a perceptual disorder and how this impacts the level of input coming in.


Sarah also addresses the importance of understanding your "sensory profile" and how gathering that information can help partners understand which senses are "over" or "under" responsive and how to address each. Sarah also explains how autistic individuals process from the "bottom up' and others process from the "top down". Understanding the way in which you and your partner process the world, can help you both find the "hot spots" in your relationship and work on addressing them with compassion and grace.


Lastly, Sarah talks about how important it is to shift the narratives we have around autism and neurodiversity. She shares a little bit about how she and her husband shifted their narrative around sex. After she began to understand her own sensory profile, then some of the challenges they had experienced began to make more sense. Since there are so many physical aspects of sex (ie: skin, touch, sound, smell, breath, etc.) it can be overwhelming, and when the autistic partner is not engaging in the way their partner may expect, it can feel like rejection to the non-autistic partner. Sarah also provides ideas about how each partner can discuss their sensory needs in a way that increases intimacy.


Sarah ends the episode by discussing the way she has described being autistic... "it's like being a bird flying in a garden and then flying into a window"...more specifically she asks "how can you prepare for a hazard you don't even see?"


If you would like to contact Sarah you can reach her at sarah@thecuriousheart.com or on her website at: www.thecuriousheart.com



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Aug 01, 202301:07:34
Five Types of Exhaustion and Rest That Can Impact Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Kerry McLeish

Five Types of Exhaustion and Rest That Can Impact Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Kerry McLeish

During this episode with Kerry McLeish, you will learn about the 5 types of exhaustion and rest that may be impacting your neurodiverse relationship. You will also understand how to move from exhaustion to a more rested life and learn some ways to create a more healthy rhythm between rest and work.

In addition, you will learn that you can be drained, full or have different capacity depending on what is happening in your life and your relationship. Lastly, stress and exhaustion often go together, so creating a "rest toolbox" that you can turn to whenever you need it is SO important.

The 5 types of exhaustion and rest that are discussed with Kerry are:

  • physical
  • mental
  • emotional
  • social
  • spiritual

You can reach Kerry at www.restforlife.org or through www.lovingdifference.net

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Jul 25, 202356:04
Understanding the Impact of the 3 Parts of the Mind and the 3 I's-Intuition, Instinct and Imprinting-Dr. Veronica Anderson

Understanding the Impact of the 3 Parts of the Mind and the 3 I's-Intuition, Instinct and Imprinting-Dr. Veronica Anderson

Dr. Veronica Anderson is a medical doctor and an intuitive who is helping people throughout the world better understand themselves, their partners and other important people in their lives. During this episode, she shares a little about her professional journey and her neurodiverse family. In addition, Dr. Veronica provides information on the impact of the 3 parts of the mind: cognitive, affective and conative. Understanding the conative piece (how we take action when we are free to be who we are) can be a game changer in life and in our relationships.

Dr. Veronica also shares information about the 3 I's that impact our life and our relationships: Instinct (how you take action and how you do things); Imprinting (the first 7 years of your life are "imprinted" on to you and this attracts you to a particular type of person); Intuition (understanding your energy and spiritual DNA).

Dr. Veronica also talks about the Kolbe Assessment and how it helps us understand more about ourselves and the 4 types of people that may be in our lives professionally and personally, and how understanding more about the strengths (and potential challenges) of communicating and working with each type can impact your life. The 4 types include: Fact-finder; Follow-through; Quick Start; and Implementer.

Dr. Veronica also talks about the work she does around "Human Design" and the importance of understanding the 5 types of Human Design. She shares information about how each type has an important and valuable place in the world and how they may impact the way in which you show up in relationships and in your life, so that you can live with purpose and in a way that is alignment with your energy.

Dr. Veronica also shares the results of Mona's Kolbe Assessment and Human Design and each described Mona perfectly!


Understanding how your brain is wired and learning who you are, so you can BE IT is critical! In addition, a lot of the information shared during this episode can help partners understand themselves and each other.


If you are interested in learning more about the Kolbe Assessment and Human Design, and would like to work with Dr. Veronica you can reach her at: www.drveronica.com


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Jul 18, 202301:30:41
Finding the Goldilocks Zone, Understanding Each Other's Needs and Differences-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

Finding the Goldilocks Zone, Understanding Each Other's Needs and Differences-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we talk about what it looks like to find the "Goldilocks Zone"...the "just right" for neurodiverse couples and what might be preventing couples from finding the path towards thriving in their relationship, including:

  • The importance of both partners accepting the autism diagnosis, or self identification.
  • Denial can lead to relationship breakdown.
  • Both partners need to be committed to change and recognize the positives in the relationship.
  • What it looks like when one partner is the "social secretary".
  • The importance of "accepting" help.
  • Creating a more regimented relationship and a new normal.
  • Why positive comments are sometimes seen as critical.
  • Intent-vs-impact.
  • Catastrophizing and anger rumination.
  • Looping thoughts and repetitive behaviors.
  • Trauma responses can impact your communication styles.
  • Bullying and abusive behaviors.
  • Deserved justice or "an eye for an eye".
  • Depression can impact negativity.
  • The "Surviving Zone" includes living separate lives, not dealing with problems, loss of pleasure, depression, and saying yes and doing no.
  • Neurodiverse relationships may look different and that is okay!
  • A formula to thrive in a neurodiverse relationship: 1) Both partners be willing to accept and learn about the diagnosis or self-identification; 2) Be willing to gain knowledge of neurodiversity and understand each other's differences; 3) Have a constructive mindset; 4) Understand that "typical" counseling will never suffice; 5) Be motivated to learn about, nurture and support each others individual needs.


  • During this episode we talk about abusive behavior and if you are in an abusive relationship and need help, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline in your country. In the United States the hotline number is: 800-799-7233


I want to thank Dr. Bronwyn Wilson for sharing her research, lived experience and knowledge on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Her research has helped many people better understand themselves, their partners and their relationships. I am hopeful that the results of her many years of work will lay the foundation for many more researchers to work with autistic individuals, allistic/neurotypical individuals and neurodiverse couples around the world who are looking for ways to thrive in their relationships. When we know better, we can do better!

As we work together, we can increase understanding of the needs, strengths and challenges that all neurotypes may have and this can lead to more acceptance, compassion and grace for the way we each want to live our best, most authentic lives!

Jul 11, 202301:05:46
Anxiety, Depression, Substance Use and the Core Wound of Failure-Guest co-host Nicole Knowlton

Anxiety, Depression, Substance Use and the Core Wound of Failure-Guest co-host Nicole Knowlton

WARNING: During this episode we talk about anxiety, depression, suicide and substance use. If these issues are difficult to hear about, please take care of yourself if you decide to listen to this episode.

This is the last episode with my wonderful guest co-host, Nicole Knowlton. During our discussion. we go in-depth on some very important, and sometimes very emotional topics that we haven't discussed much on the podcast. The topics addressed include:

Why neurodivergent individuals may experience depression and anxiety, as people try to correct and change them throughout their lives.
Co-occurring issues can include: ADHD, learning and sensory processing differences, and PTSD.
Our neurology is not a choice!
No shame in taking medication, if you want or need it.
Finding out about your neurodiversity through your children's assessments.
The importance of an educational system that supports your child's needs and strengths.
Losing friends and jobs and not understanding why.
Why being alone can sometimes feel safer.
"Walking in each other's shoes" exercise.
AuDHD feels like OCD at a party!
Substance use and abuse to numb and deal with societal pressures.
Some habits and addictions may be fueling your system.
Some of the strengths neurodivergent partners can have include: strength, stability, security and being financially conservative.
How vulnerability can impact relationships.
The impact of the expectations we have of our partners inside and outside our relationship.
How it effects you when you are carrying a "core wound" of failure.
If you are not willing to do the work to forgive, heal the past and accept your partner for who they are, you will probably suffer in your relationship.

Books recommended during this episode:

Sincerely Your Autistic Child. What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew About Growing Up. Acceptance and Identity.
Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx


If you would like to contact Nicole for coaching, therapy and/or assessments. You can find her on Psychology Today or on Instagram or Twitter @aspietherapist. I want to thank Nicole for sharing her expertise, lived experiences and the lessons she has learned on her journey. It has been an honor to have her as a guest co-host and I hope that some of you will have an opportunity to work with her in the future.
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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples,
please send her an email at:
neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Jul 06, 202301:01:30
Pattern Recognition, Synesthesia, Aphantasia, Somatics and Sound Healing-with Katie Zitterbart

Pattern Recognition, Synesthesia, Aphantasia, Somatics and Sound Healing-with Katie Zitterbart

During this episode, Katie Zitterbart shares a little about her neuro-spicy journey and the importance of double empathy and neuro-spicy embodiment and sexual health. In addition, we discuss:

  • The importance of understanding the perception of others.
  • Discerning between neuro-spicy traits and the impact of CPTSD.
  • The autistic brain is "bottom up" and the allistic brain is "top down".
  • "A felt sense of yes" is an invitation for self exploration,
  • Pattern recognition and how meaning happens.
  • Examples of some of the different types of synesthesia (where stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a secondary sensory or cognitive pathway.)
  • Aphantasia is being "blind inside" and not having the ability to create mental imagery.
  • The value of achieving more nervous system capacity.
  • Creating rituals and scripts.
  • Understanding the autists sense of social justice.
  • Being right and when it matters.
  • The relationship between connective tissue and emotional body dysregulation
  • Hypermobility and autism.
  • Starting from a place of safety and security
  • You can contact Katie about her work in somatics, sound healing or sexual health at: www.kayteezee.com

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠⁠to buy unlimited access today.

Jul 05, 202301:12:50
Myth Busting Three Beliefs That May be Creating Challenges in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts

Myth Busting Three Beliefs That May be Creating Challenges in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts

During this episode, Mona is joined by Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts from the Loving Difference online community. Heather and Natalie have been on the podcast numerous times and they were both amazing presenters at the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference. On this collaborative episode, the conversation focuses on three myths that may be the source of some of the challenges you and your partner are experiencing in your neurodiverse relationship:


Myth #1) Neurodiversity is the problem that makes all differences more pronounced.

Topics discussed include: The importance of self-awareness and reviewing your own patterns; adaptative strategies to armor up; expectations and beliefs we have about romantic relationships; the impact of stress from "unknown neurodiversity" and "unhealthy" relationship patterns; the importance of understanding the potential impact of childhood wounds and nervous system dysregulation; the importance of the mind/body connection; creating space between the stimulus and our reaction.


Myth #2) Thinking you need to leave or you need your partner on board to change things.

Topics discussed include: knowing your needs, preferences, tolerances and values; the impact of losing touch with yourself; getting clarity of thought and having healthier responses; the impact of other peoples nervous systems on you; reducing your own reactivity; getting in touch with yourself and your own happiness; restoring your choice and autonomy.


Myth #3) If I do self-care and more things on my own, then things will get better.

Topics discussed include: you have to fill the holes in your own bucket, not just focus on self-care; we all need good boundaries; take time to heal; determine what strategies need to change; understand your triggers and find better ways to handle them; get clarity about your needs (even if it's uncomfortable); there may be more separation in your relationship as changes occur; find ways to re-connect with your partner and revitalize your relationship; reduce "negative intimacy"; heal past hurts; find solutions; masking may have meant you don't know yourself or your partner.

Please Remember: Your neurodiverse relationship may look very different from other people's relationships...and that's okay!!!


You can reach Heather and Natalie at www.lovingdifference.net or on their websites at: www.natalieroberts.com and www.heatherparks.co.uk. You can also check out their podcast "Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships" wherever you listen to podcasts.

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.


Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Jun 20, 202301:09:15
Some Things To Consider To Make Dating Easier-Dr. Kenneth Roberson

Some Things To Consider To Make Dating Easier-Dr. Kenneth Roberson

For more then 20 years, Dr. Kenneth Roberson has been providing therapy for both autistic individuals and neurodiverse couples and he also conducts ASD assessments.. During this episode he shares some of the topics he discusses with clients to provide support and guidance for autistic clients who want to have successful dating experiences. Some of the topics addressed include:

  • The importance of focusing on and using your individuals strengths in the dating process (ie: kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty)
  • Focus conversation on areas of mutual interest.
  • Become aware of the triggers that may lead to a meltdown and avoid going to places that may lead to triggering reactions.
  • Understand your sensory sensitivities and plan a date that will be sensory friendly. Make sure the place you are meeting works for both of you.
  • Don't try to be something you 're not and exhaust or overwhelm yourself.
  • Pace yourself. Socializing requires a lot of energy and you may have to recharge your social battery.
  • Be patient with the dating process. It takes time to get to know someone and for them to get to know you.
  • Ask thoughtful and relevant questions without making the conversation an interview.
  • To show interest, respect and to make a connection, you may want to prepare some questions before the date.
  • Trust your suspicions, if something or someone seems "off" you can leave the date or end it.
  • Think about and get clear about what you want in a partner before you begin dating.
  • You may want to ask friends to help you write an online dating profile, as they may help you recognize some of your strengths that might be important in the dating process.
  • Determine if you want to share some of your autistic traits on your dating profile, or if you want to state that you are autistic and share what that means for you and what you are looking for in a partner.
  • Meeting for something casual for a first meeting...like a cup of coffee or a walk, instead of a formal date.
  • Fear of rejection during dating is normal. People will get rejected and ghosted. Each time it happens we have an opportunity to learn and grow and move forward to find someone who is a better fit for us.


You can contact Dr. Roberson by email at: dr.roberson@kennethrobersonphd.com or check out his website at: www.kennethrobersonphd

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.


If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com


Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.


Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.


Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Jun 13, 202348:47
Emotional Differences, Compassionate Inquiry and Double Empathy in Relationships-Guest Co-host-Greg Fuqua

Emotional Differences, Compassionate Inquiry and Double Empathy in Relationships-Guest Co-host-Greg Fuqua

This is the last episode with one of the Season 5 guest co-hosts, Greg Fuqua. During this episode, we address a topic from a listener who wanted to explore the way we often look at emotional differences in a neurodiverse relationship as either “logical” or “emotional”. She suggested that maybe it would be helpful to change the way we describe emotional responses and consider using terms like “expressive” or “inexpressive”. To expand this concept further, Mona and Greg discuss how some of us are taught to believe that we are “too much” or “too emotional” and that can lead to hiding our emotions, or becoming less expressive in our relationships. In turn, two unique individuals who come together in an intimate relationship don't always have the tools and foundation to connect with each other emotionally, bridge their differences, and understand each other's way of expressing emotions. Unfortunately, when we get stuck in using stereotypical ways to describe emotions in neurodiverse relationship we don't get to fully understand