Neurodiverse Love-Increasing Understanding, One Conversation At A Time.

If you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference, tickets are still available for $98 at: www.neurodiverselove.com.  You will be able to hear the 27 pre-recorded conference presentations &  check out some of the Q&A chats from the conference.  All of the conference sessions will be available to watch until May 15, 2023.

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The topic for this solo episode with Mona was recommended by one of the podcast listeners  While this episode is focused on the neurotypical/non-autistic partners perspective, it may also be of interest to the autistic partners.  

Mona's separation began in February, 2016, before she and her ex-husband knew they were a neurodiverse couple.  The separation started because Mona kept asking herself "If nothing changes in my marriage, in the next 3-5 years, how will I feel?"  Although the answer to that question brought up  A LOT of emotions, Mona knew she needed to separate from the man she had been married to for almost 30 years and still loved.  Although Mona and her ex agreed to a 6 month separation, it actually lasted almost 2.5 years.  

About  9 months before she and her ex divorced, in May, 2018, Mona discovered what it meant to be a neurodiverse couple.  During that time, Mona learned everything she could about autistic adults, neurodiverse relationships and all the ways in which neurodiversity played out in her marriage, her family and with many other people in her life.  It soon became apparent that "love was not enough" and that all the "unintentional" hurt and pain that Mona and her ex had caused each other during their 30  year marriage could not be healed quickly, or when they continued to trigger each other. 

During this episode Mona talks about: 

The losses are real Letting go of the dreams you had for your relationship Acceptance of "what is" can feel like settling Understanding your wants, needs, core values, dreams, non-negotiables and boundaries Things to consider before separating Unintentional hurt and pain caused before understanding neurodiversity Masking and unmasking changes your relationship The importance of forgiveness, healing and repair Getting clarity about why you want a separation or divorce Ending the relationship as friends, or on friendly terms

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, 

please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love,  an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

                             

                                                                                              Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Dr. Bronwyn Wilson is an educator, researcher and author.  In her personal life she is married to an autistic man and in a neurodiverse family.  Increasing understanding of neurodiverse relationships is her passion, and she will be one of the three guest co-hosts joining Mona for Season 5 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast.

During this episode, we talk about the fact that many people still think that autism only occurs in children.  There is still  SO much misunderstanding regarding autistic adults.  We also talk about the stereotypes in film and  tv and how we need to do a better job of educating the world about neurodiversity and the strengths, differences and challenges of neurological differences.  

Other topics addressed Include:

The Lost Generation. How both partners in an neurodiverse relationship often "wish" they knew earlier about their neurological differences. The importance of accepting that you can't relive the past. Communication differences and understanding what you each need when you're in distress. How scripts can create challenges and misunderstandings. Everyone has needs they want to be met and learning how both partner get their needs met. Bron's research included survey's and conversations with 400 people throughout the world. Her next book is focused on educating counselors, therapists, family and friends. Cognitive differences that may be hard wired and how to understand each other's wiring Theory of mind difference and mindblindness.

You can buy Bron's book: "Have They Gone Nuts? The Survival Guide to Social Interaction in Neurodiverse (Autistic-Neurotypical) Relationships" or contact her at: www.bronwilson.com 

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmailcom

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Nicole Knowlton is a Marriage and Family Therapist who also has a  law degree.  During this episode. she talks about her work as a therapist and her own personal neurodiversity journey.  During Season 5, Nicole will be joining Mona as one of her "guest co-hosts"  on the podcast, so if you have any topics you would like Mona and Nicole to address in a future, please feel free to send an e-mail to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Other topics addressed are:

What is "nesting" and how might it be helpful for children of separated or divorced parents?  Slow processing and how it can effect communication. Masking at the beginning of a relationship. Our internal narratives.  Core beliefs and stories we tell ourselves about failure and shame. Reprocessing life after diagnosis and self healing. The importance of remembering that "We are all doing the best we can and we need to have grace with the past". Misdiagnosis in adults. Boundaries and communication styles. Take "people" out of the problem while working to find a solution. Pursuer-withdrawer and other attachment styles.   Avoidant attachment style may be because parents did not know how to meet an autistic/neurodivergent child's needs. The importance of emotional safety in your relationship. Trauma can sometimes hide autism.

Nicole does coaching, therapy and assessments.  You can find her on Psychology Today or on Twitter @aspietherapist

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmailcom

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

During this episode, Mona goes solo to talk about some of the confusing emotions both partner's may feel after learning they are in a Neurodiverse Love relationship.  In the discovery phase, each partner may feel some hope that they will move forward with more understanding for themselves, their partner and their relationship.  However, many times, after feeling hopeful, one or both partners may begin to feel grief.  The grief will probably look different for each partner, however it's important to acknowledge that it is real .  Mona talks about the 7 steps of grieving and how each may look and feel for each partner.  In addition, Mona talks about the importance of forgiveness of yourself and your partner, as you both work to understand more about the "unintentional" hurt you may have caused yourself and each other, before you knew how differently your brains are wired   Mona also shares how accepting that the dreams you had for your relationship, before you understood you were a neurodiverse couple, may no longer be applicable, and how important it is to accept yourself, your partner and the relationship that will be created as you move forward on a new path.  Lastly, Mona shares a little bit about what peace looks like when you are in a neurodiverse relationship.  Life may still be filled with lots of feelings, emotions and challenges, however both partners will have found different tools, techniques and strategies to work through the challenges that may come up.  Understanding and accepting the strengths, differences and challenges that are present and having more effective ways to address and acknowledge each of these can be a game changer!  Whether you continue working together in your relationship, or you choose to end your relationship, this episode will provide some important validation about the feelings both partners may be experiencing.

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, or an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmailcom.   You can also go to: www.neurodiverselove.com to learn more about the resources available for neurodiverse couples.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

I want to thank everyone in the Neurodiversity Love community who has been listening to the podcast. I also want to thank my previous co-hosts (Olga & Manecia), and all the guests who have been a part of this journey. We have listeners in more then 60 countries and have had about 70,000 plays of the podcast. In addition, since 2020, we’ve published more then 120 episodes. For Season 5, I will be recording 4-6 episodes with each of my new co-hosts: Greg Fuqua, Bronwyn Wilson and Nicole Knowlton. I hope that all of you will continue to learn new information that can help increase understanding in your neurodiverse relationships. Lastly, if you haven’t registered for the Neurodiverse Love Conference that will be held on 2/14 & 2/15, please go to: www.neurodiverselove.com to get a 50% discount on your ticket. All the presentations have been prerecorded, so If you can’t join us live don’t worry. Everyone who purchases a ticket will have access to all the conference sessions for up to 3 months. Thank you again for your support of the podcast!

 Tickets for the Neurodiverse Love Virtual Conference are available!!!

The conference will be held on February 14th and 15th, 2023 from 11am-7pm EST. 

 If you'd like to access the link for a 50% discount on the ticket price, or learn more about the presenters, please visit www.neurodiverselove.com.

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Amanda Platner is the Director of Adult Programs at the Emory Autism Center.  She is also a clinical psychologist and another AANE certified therapist.  During this episode, we  talk about the journey autistic individuals may travel as they move forward on being their "authentic selves".  We address the conversations that might have never happened, and those that may take place in relationships with professional colleagues, family members and in intimate or romantic relationships.  Amanda shares that many of the individuals she works with have moments of revelation and excitement as they receive their autism diagnosis, or begin to self-identify as autistic.  However, what follows next may include changes that not everyone is prepared for, or knows how to address.  One of the important questions to ask may be "who are the people in my life who are going to be impacted when I am my authentic self?"  As many autistic individuals may not be aware that they have been masking throughout their life, communicating their wants, needs, non-negotiables and boundaries, with compassion and respect may help things move smoother on the journey forward.

Amanda also talks about how the neurotypical partner may feel left behind when their autistic partner moves forward on living authentically.  She addresses some of the ways in which both partners can work together to maintain and/or create a healthy relationship, both individually and as a couple.  Creating and/or maintaining important rituals may be a helpful process. While also understanding that both partners may experience some grief and mourning for the relationship they thought they would have with themselves and their partner. As the relationship moves forward, it is important to remember that some of the core challenges may involve communication difficulties and understanding emotions.  

Lastly, we talk about the importance of creating balance in life and in romantic relationships.  More specifically we address the value of creating and agreeing on boundaries that can help create balance regarding intense interests.  

Whether you are the autistic partner or the neurotypical/non-autistic partner in your relationship, understanding what each of you need to thrive in life and in your romantic relationship will help both partners live an authentic life.  Sometimes that life includes maintaining your current relationship and sometimes a change is needed.  No matter what path each of us choose, we all deserve to be in relationships where we can thrive.

You can contact Amanda at: amanda.k.platner@emory.edu or call: 404-727-8350  

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach, or you would like to register for the "Neurology Matters" training available through AANE for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee.  To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page.

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If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.   

The Neurodiverse Love Conference Virtual Conference will be held on February 14th and 15th, 2023 and tickets go on sale on 1/2/23.  

If you are interested in learning more about the conference presenters please go to www.neurodiverselove.com.  If you want to get access to more information about the conference, please sign up for the Neurodiverse Love newsletter .

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During this episode another AANE certified therapist, Dr. Rahimeh Andalibian shares about her personal trauma experiences and her neurodiverse journey, as well as the path she traveled to begin working with neurodivergent adults and neurodiverse couples.  Rahimeh talks about the importance of working with a therapist who has expertise in neurodiversity and how a therapist without this knowledge can cause "flooding" for the  neurodivergent client.  Most of the people who contact the practice that Rahimeh owns called "Spectrum Services", are in pain.  Rahimeh and her team work with each client to gain a better understanding of the source of the pain.  Through assessment, diagnosis and/or therapy, clients are given an opportunity to find the path that will help them gain clarity, as they work to live their best, most authentic lives.

Some of the other topics addressed include:

How trauma, race, culture and religion can cover up neurodiversity. Executive function and emotional reciprocity differences in parenting that can create challenges. The "dance" in therapy, when there is unknown neurodiversity. When one partner is autistic and the other is ADHD, the source of the challenges may be misunderstood. Understanding triggers that actually may be sensory sensitivities. The impact of trauma on emotional regulation.  Traumatized reactions can stay within our body! Getting coverage from your insurance for the evaluation/diagnosis process. The value of on-line screening tools to begin the self-assessment process. How a "strength-based"  diagnosis can help partners understand the language they speak and determine how they can connect. What it means to "Feel it", "See it", and "Help/Understand it". It is critical to knock down and get through the shame...We are all here to walk each other home! 

You can contact Dr. Andalibian at: www.spectrumservicesnyc.org or at www.rahimeh.com

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off  the registration fee.  To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode. 

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love  

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com 

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Carrie Mitran has been in a neurodiverse relationship since 2007 and for more then 15 years she has been on a journey to discover the most effective tools and methods to help individuals and neurodiverse couples better understand themselves and each other.  Dr.  Mitran is an AANE Certified Therapist who has developed her own model for working with neurodiverse couples.  The Mitran Model is a culturally responsive approach that moves away from the medical and diagnostic model and instead views neurodiversity as a culture.  Specifically, looking at social-emotional learning and relational culture theory. The Mitran Model includes the following steps: 1) Identify target; 2) Implement a plan; 3) Define what support looks like; 4) Implement your plan with ongoing guidance. Dr. Mitran believes all people can design the life they want when they take time to understand themselves with knowledge, self awareness, and compassion.    During this episode Dr. Mitran addresses the following:  Why understanding neurodiversity is critical to therapy with ND couples.  Building more competencies for helping professionals who are working with ND couples.  The importance of understanding identity development stories.  Core issues ND couples seek therapy for: misunderstood communication; perspective taking; high levels of anxiety that aren't recognized.  Understanding complexities within each individual and within the intimate relationship and the foundation your relationship is built on.  Supporting growth and development of each partner's identity with a new sense of awareness.  Moving from acceptance to affirming!  The importance of exploring and investigating our personal values, biases and stereotypes.  How micro-aggressions can lead to contempt and  resentment and the value of "micro-interventions".  How breakdowns are opportunities to restart.  Reconciliation and affirmation.  The importance of  understanding each others values and social context.  Self-regulation-managing inner emotions and sensory overload.  Moving away from "performance goals" in an intimate relationship.  Having a curiosity based mindset.  The value of "radical openness". You can contact Dr. Mitran at: www.neurodiversetalk.com 

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 If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee.  To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.  

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love 

 You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com  Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Tim Donovan is a licensed certified social worker who has been in practice since 1992.  He is also  an AANE Certified Therapist who shares how important it was for him to update his approach to therapy to include a neurological lens. Tim shares some of the knowledge and strategies he learned from the AANE training and talks about how he has integrated this information into his therapy practice. Tim also provides examples of how the AANE certification gave him the confidence to address neurodiversity in counseling sessions.

Tim also addresses:

The overlap in diagnoses. Figuring out which issue is doing the speaking. Helping couples see the bigger picture. How to incorporate AANE concepts when there is reluctance to accept neurodiversity. Using "QAAA" (Question-Answer-Answer-Answer) as a connection tool. The value of "connection codes". Perspective taking and the "duck/bunny" picture.  Understanding the impact of sensory sensitivities.

Tim also conducts  therapeutic "weekend intensives" with couples and he provides an overview of this modality.

You can contact Tim at: www.tcdonovan.com, or by email or phone at tcdonovanlcsw@gmail.com or 410-583-2622.

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. 

To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

During this episode I talk with another AANE Certified Therapist, Kory Chase, LCSW.  Kory worked for the school system for 20 years before she started her private practice.  She specializes in conducting autism assessments and working with neurodiverse couples and individuals.  Kory shares a little bit about her family history with neurodiversity and the journey she was on to find a professional she could trust to conduct an autism assessment for her daughter. During this journey, Kory took a deep dive into gaining more understanding about autistic females, so she could better understand how to support and parent her daughter. We also talk about how to communicate about neurodiversity with other family members and the strength based suggestions she has.  In addition, we discuss a lot of other very important topics including: Trusting and believing when someone shares they are autistic and asking "what is the cost of me believing what I am being told"? That autistic individuals are often misdiagnosed many times before getting the correct diagnosis. The importance and value of a diagnosis, or self-identification, and that this is SO much bigger then the DSM! How it may feel after finally getting the correct assessment. The value and importance of psycho-education and defining and understanding what success and connection look like to each partner in a neurodiverse relationship. Understanding how your partner processes hard things and accepting that some things are not intentional. Neurodiverse couples can become "Power Couples" when they recognize how differences can enhance their relationship. Defining & understanding "Emotional Connection" and understanding each others love languages. Importance of knowing & understanding "expectations". Finding overlapping interests. The role of solitude in creating calm. Differences in sex, physical intimacy and relationship dynamics. Rules in the beginning of a relationship and how they change over time. The impact of understanding intimacy through the lens of movies and porn and the impact of changing sensory sensitivities. The best thing we can do is ask questions and find people that understand and get us! You can contact Kory at: www.korychase.com. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee.  To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode. For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners" please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Christa Marvenko-Athas is an AANE certified therapist,  licensed to provide therapy in Maryland.  Christa also provides coaching for neurodiverse couples and pre-marital coaching worldwide.  During this episode, Christa provides so much valuable information about how she uses the "development model" to help neurodiverse couples better understand themselves and each other.  More specifically she provides information on:

How we need to understand that the only person we can change is ourselves. How to bring up the issue of "neurodiversity" in your relationship, when your partner is not willing to acknowledge it. Dealing with grief because some things in the relationship are not going to change. What it means to take a time out without walking out. The negative impact of creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship and how to change this dynamic. Understanding how both partners use ineffective behaviors-- where they come from, and how to change them. How to use the "initiator and inquirer" tool to improve communication. What types of defense mechanisms are creating challenges. Understanding and reducing triggers. The importance of expressing empathy and compassion. Understanding what limerance is at the beginning of a relationship.

If you would like to contact Christa about therapy or coaching you can e-mail her at: christa@christamarvenkoathas.com

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters" training available through AANE for neurodiverse couples, or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  In addition, please use the discount code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee.

If you are looking for an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, or want to learn more about AANE, please check out their website at: www.AANE.org

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If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.  If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. If you are interested in joining one of the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/NT partners, please send Mona a DM or send an e-mail to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. Please send an email to get info on the cost & meeting dates.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Greg Fuqua came into the counseling profession a few years ago after spending more then 20 years working as a professional artist and teaching at 10 different schools.  He is an AANE certified therapist and has been on his own neurodiverse journey for the past few years.  During this episode, Greg shares how Internal Family Systems has made a difference in his life and how he uses it to help guide others on their healing journey.  Greg also talks about:

His autism discovery and his relationship with himself and how he has reworked his narrative and life. Some of the challenges he experienced in his marriage and how his wife knew he was autistic, but didn't tell him as she thought it was his journey to discover.   How he had less capacity for perspective taking and empathy because he was stressed out and needed things a certain way. That the most important thing is your relationship with yourself and how his "self-identification" led to self-empathy. Letting go of rigidity allowed him to have more space for his emotions. How his group and family therapist have been resistant to his autism identification. That you can't change the past, but you can work on growing and improving the way you show up in your relationships with your partner, children and family. How art and soccer helped him find himself. The impact of relational trauma prior to identifying as autistic. That IFS is a relational model for working with yourself and your history and it is the most important tool he has for his autistic clients, as it helps teach relational skills with yourself and others. That IFS has also helped him create a dialogue and deeper understanding of himself.  Including "radical acceptance" of the good intention of his "parts".  Teaching people how important it is to know their bodies and understand when they feel differently and are being "triggered"  and their "protective parts" are taking over. Autistic people being overprotective because of difficulty they may have had fitting in and not being able to read social cues. Understanding how to give your "parts" enough "space" to be a compassionate witness and learn what is happening inside, and how this can also be applied to other relationships.   Once you have self-empathy, you can have empathy for others.  Perspective taking, availability, self-awareness and flexibility can start happening. How symbolism, metaphors, art, fantastical and spiritual thinking can be helpful. Neurodiverse couples can begin to reimagine their relationships and create a window of understanding for each other's internal experiences.  Creating more compassion, curiosity, and depth of understanding for each other's differences. Neurodiverse relationships require constant renegotiation with yourself, your romantic partner, and your family.

You can contact Greg at: www.lifeworksdm.com or through his profile on Psychology Today.

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com-Use code NeurodiverseLove25 for a 25% discount.

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.  If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love.

If you are interested in joining one of the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/NT partners, please send Mona a DM or send an e-mail to neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. Please send an email to get info on cost & meeting dates.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

On this episode of the podcast, AANE certified therapist, Daniel Dashnaw, from Couples Therapy, Inc. provides important information about how the stories and narratives we create, impact our neurodiverse relationships and our nervous systems.  He also addresses how partners may experience a polarity in emotional styles that can lead to a clash around the stories both partners "tell" themselves.  Daniel talks about how he helps both partners "slow down" and unpack the stories and narratives to create better understanding and reduce conflict in their relationship.  He also shares how he creates structure in conflict and provides couples with concrete tools that can be used to reduce nervous system overwhelm and flooding.

Daniel also addresses:

The challenges of marathon emotional sharing. The value of "soft start-ups" How a clash of expectations impacts both partners. How trauma impacts our brains. The importance of special interests for re-regulating the nervous system. Understanding the impact of mind-blindness. Finding ways to increase understanding of both partner's perspectives. Cognitive empathy. The importance of asking: "What kind of relationship do you want to have?; "What kind of partner do you want to be?"; and "What is the distance between the two?"

If you are interested in contacting Daniel you can reach him at: www.couplestherapyinc.com

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters" training available through AANE for neurodiverse couples, or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  In addition, please use the discount code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. 

If you are looking for an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, or want to learn more about AANE, please check out their website at: www.AANE.org

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If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Welcome to Episode 1 of Season 4 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast.  During this season, Mona will focus on a series of in-depth conversations with AANE certified therapists and coaches.  Mona is partnering with AANE and the Director of the Peter M. Friedman-Neurodiverse Couples Institute, Grace Myhill, so that more neurodiverse couples, and individuals in neurodiverse relationships, will have access to even more helping professionals throughout the world who understand how "neurology matters". During this episode you will learn why Grace and her colleagues at AANE created the "Neurolology Matters" training and certification for therapists and coaches. You will also learn about the training available for neurodiverse couples or individual partners. 

Grace provides information on:

*The Myhill/Jekel Model for Working with Neurodiverse Couples Therapy

 *The 3 Core Components of the Model and an overview of each: 

Component #1-Recognize

Component #2-Understand 

Component #3-Treat

*The length of the training and certification process, as well as the modalities used.

*Who should consider taking the training? 

*The type of ongoing support offered to therapists and coaches who complete the training and certification. 

*How to find an AANE certified therapist or coach. 

*Other resources offered through AANE.org.

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach you can register at: aane.thinkific.com.  In addition, please use the discount code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. If you want to contact Grace her e-mail address is: grace.myhill@aane.org 

Other AANE certified therapists and coaches that have been guests on the Neurodiverse Love podcast during Season 3 are: 

Jill Corvelli-S3-episode 31 

Stephanie Holmes-S3-episode 21 

Kathy McMahon-S3-episode 25 

Michael McNulty-S3-episode 28 

Cheryl Rhodes-S3-episode 32 

Robin Tate-S3-episode 29

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If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love 

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com 

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group. 

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dr. Theresa Regan is a neuropsychologist who has extensive experience working with autistic individuals and neurodiverse couples and she has been trained to work with adolescents, adults and aging adults.  During this episode she shares both her personal and professional experiences to help us better understand how to navigate the different seasons of a "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

The topics we address include:

How does the dating relationship change when couples move in together, get married or have children? How relationship roles and structure can change through dating and beyond How scripts from tv and film help shape the dating process. How does masking affect relationship changes? When a romantic partner becomes a special interest and then another special interest becomes more important. What is a "just right" state and why can it be such a challenge? The importance of diagnosis for "self" and "other" awareness. Understanding roles and what it means to be "wired differently". Grieving for the relationship that was and accepting what is. Emotional and sensory overwhelm and understanding and supporting each other's needs. Being a "detective", rather then a "police officer". The importance of regular huddles. Self awareness and body changes as we age in our neurodiverse relationships.

You can contact Dr. Regan at: adultandgeriatricautism@gmail.com or follow her on Instagram at: regan_autism

For information on scheduling an ASD diagnosis appointment, call OSF Healthcare: 309-655-7378.  Listen to Dr. Regan's podcast: Autism in the Adult  or checkout her website at: www.adultandgeriatricautism.com

You may also want to purchase her books: Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd Edition or Understanding Autistic Behaviors

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If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

On this episode of the podcast, Mona is joined by one of her best friends, Michelle.  They both share some of the experiences they have had with men they met on various dating apps who may have been neurodivergent.  A recent article in Psychology Today titled "The Rise of Lonely, Single Men. Men Need to Address Their Deficits to Meet Healthier Relationship Expectations", by Greg Matos, PsyD, addressed how women are expecting more emotional intelligence from men.  

During this episode, Mona and Michelle discuss how some of the issues addressed in the article may be related to "undiagnosed adult autism".  Meeting lots of men in their 40's, 50's and 60's, who have never been married, or are recently divorced and have been in 1 or more marriages with a lot of social and emotional challenges, made us wonder if dating apps make it easier for men "on the spectrum" to date.  However, does this also create more challenges for non-autistic/neurotypical women?  More specifically, when you both have lots of social and emotional differences, how can you go from misunderstanding and judgment--to curiosity, awareness and acceptance? The conversation takes us down many paths including:

Learning how to "not take things personally" Communication differences including: slow responses, long well-written texts and temporary ghosting Black and white thinking  Passion about special interests Rules and requirements in sexual and physical intimacy Sensory sensitivities Mind-blindness Social quotas Broken promises Not engaging in personal or emotional discussions Why are so many men seeking "no drama"? Compassion needed by both people

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If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

During this episode you will hear a little about the beautiful love story between Jennifer Cook and Brett Banks.  Jennifer Cook was identified as being on the spectrum in 2011.  She is the author of 9 bestselling books, the on-camera autistic expert in Netflix's Emmy-nominated series, "Love on the Spectrum-US" and has given presentations at the White House, the National Institute of Health and to royal audiences in Europe.  Brett Banks is a Nuclear Licensing Engineer who learned that he was on the spectrum a few years ago, although his ex-wife and daughter had shared this with him many years ago.  Brett now knows that "fairy tales" do come true and is living the life he only saw in movies:-).  Together, they have 7 kids, a lot of love and understanding and sometimes feel like the same person in two bodies.  In their marriage, they both feel safe to be their authentic selves with each other and they are thriving in their "Neurodiverse Love" relationship.

During this episode we talk about:

How Jennifer and Brett met Their autism identification journey The "family of origin" connections  Feeling things "SO DEEPLY" Shifting perception The importance of curiosity Impact of mind-blindness  Not understanding social cues Understanding and dealing with triggers Hope and grace

If you would like to reach out to Jennifer or Brett, feel free to contact them through Jennifer's website at: www.jenniferotooleauthor.com or on Instagram @jennifercook_author 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

During this episode, Mona and Larry Siegel have an in-depth conversation about ways to better understand and communicate more effectively with your partner about sexual needs and desires. Larry is a Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sexuality Educator and Supervisor, who has been working in this field for over 35 years.  He is also the co-host of the YouTube show called "Sex Talk with the Siegel Brothers".  During this discussion, we had a very open conversation about SO many topics that neurodiverse couples may be experiencing, but haven't been given the tools to address.  This is an episode that you and your partner may want to listen to together, as we get real on the issues below... and many more.

Understanding why and when your sexual relationship changed. How sex becomes the casualty when others needs aren't being met. Understanding and explaining how important sex and physical intimacy are when communication styles are different. The importance of defining explicitly what you both need and want.   Using safe and code words when something doesn't feel good or work well. Sensory sensitivities and physical & sexual intimacy.  The importance of understanding your partners sexual history. Masturbation, porn and fantasies. Sex is supposed to be fun!!!!

If you want to contact Larry Siegel you can email him at: proflasiegel@gmail.com or follow him on Facebook at: SexTalkWithTheSiegelBrothers/

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If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples.  If you and your partner are interested in joining a group, please send an e-mail with the heading "Neurodiverse Couples Group" to: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.  You will receive information about the cost and the dates for the next group.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

During this episode, Mona talks with Charles, who is a social worker who works in the field of alcohol and substance use.  Charles is 27 years old and recently discovered that he is autistic. He shared that he calls himself an "intuitive autistic" and talks about how those gifts and talents help him better understand the clients with whom he works. Charles also talks about how his life might have been different had he known he was autistic. Charles shares how he is looking at various life events and social situations through a neurodiverse lens, to help gain more understanding of why people have responded to him the way they did.  Charles also talks about some of the challenges he has experienced with reading social cues and the nuances of social communication, and how important it is to be able to gauge and understand peoples responses and reactions when he communicates with others.

If you are interested in talking with Charles please feel free to send Mona an email, at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com, and she will forward your message to Charles.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Mona joined Natalie Roberts and Heather Parks from the Loving Difference Online Community on their "Myth-busting" podcast to bust some myths we may have all experienced in our neurodiverse relationships.  During this episode we discuss debunking the following myths:

1) We don't just have to "survive", we can "thrive" in our current relationship, (or choose to move on and create a life in which we can thrive with another partner...or by ourselves).

2) We don't all communicate in the same way, or at the same speed.

3) We don't need to have a happy relationship to be happy.

4) A change in (or lack of) sexual and physical intimacy may not mean your partner is not attracted to you.

5) Relationships should be easy.

If you would like to connect with Natalie and Heather, you can check out their on-line community and podcast at: www.lovingdifference.net

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you liked this episode, please rate the episode and subscribe to the podcast, so that you don't miss an episode.

If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in joining the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners, please send Mona a DM on Instagram or send an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!