I am so happy to share my latest solo episode for the Soul Surgery Podcast. Here I talk about the beginning of my plant medicine journey and my first ceremonies with ayahuasca. This was such a beautiful, sacred experience for me, it literally cracked my heart wide open, healed deep trauma, and directed me onto a more authentic path.

After I got clean from my addictions, I did everything I thought I SHOULD be doing. I was going to 12 steps meetings, abstaining from drugs and alcohol and eating nourishing food I told myself I SHOULD feel healed and whole, but I didn't, something was missing. Then I turned 30, and it hit me; just how trapped and broken I felt.

I was experiencing enormous shame and fear deep within my soul. People around me assumed that because I wasn’t high or drunk all the time any more than I was “better”. And I was doing better on the outside, but inside I wasn’t free and I had not healed.

There was still a huge shadow inside me. I wanted to be a mum and wife, but every time I got close to that dream, I failed. I chose the wrong people, or I sabotaged my own happiness because deep down I didn’t feel worthy.

I was dating a man who had done a lot of work with ayahuasca, and one day I heard her calling me. The signs appeared everywhere and the message was clear - I NEEDED to experience ayahuasca myself. I met the man who would become my shaman and everything fell into place. Before I knew it, I was headed to Peru for 5 life-changing weeks. The minute I stepped off the plane my whole body exhaled and I knew I was where I needed to be.

Ayahuasca showed me exactly what was blocking my freedom and told me with everything I needed to hear.

My heart told me to follow and trust, and I am so glad I listened. It was a profoundly challenging 5 weeks. I spent the first few ceremonies in absolute terror as my veil of victimhood was finally lifted. I was forced to face the parts of myself I had abandoned.

After that trip I was a completely different person, but it was then the hard work began. The true shift came as I started to integrate everything I had learned and it was hard. I broke up with my then-boyfriend, leaving at at 2 am. I drove away leaving behind something profound; my self-doubt and the denial of my innate value and worth.

I became a powerful person who knew her value. I vowed never to give away my power again. The next phase of my life was fundamentally transformational, and I met the man of my dreams and gave birth to the daughter I dreamt about in the jungle.

Highlights

How I first felt called to plant medicine and how to know if it’s right for you.
The importance of going into an ayahuasca ceremony with clear intentions and how to ask the plants to reveal your most profound truth.
I discuss the variety of plant medicines I experienced and their healing properties.
Why you must experience ayahuasca under proper guidance and how to find the right facility.
The shifts that took place in my life after experiencing plant medicine and how I integrated them into my life.

Thank you for listening. That trip helped me step out of child-like thinking and into an embodiment of womanhood.

If any of this resonated with you, or you’ve had a transformational experience with ayahuasca, I would love to hear from you.

I would be so grateful if you could leave a review on iTunes so we can share this message of healing and wholeness with as many people as possible.

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Soul Surgery with Nicky ClinchBy Nicky ClinchMar 23, 2021