No Highway Option

The movie's about being 17, but a good 80% of these high schoolers are absolutely in their early-to-mid 20's and you cannot convince me otherwise.

We're totally the best guys to talk about this satirical take on what it means to be Black in 1980's Hollywood! Okay, maybe we're not but we still have a good time with it.

Comedian MATT LEWIS meets the boys in an audition waiting room to talk about the 1987 sketch comedy satire HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE. Grab yourself a Winky Dinky Dog and put on your finest retro There's a Bat in My House T-Shirt. It's a part of the Criterion collection! That means it's guaranteed a good movie!

Join them as they answer such questions as: Does this movie remind us of any modern flicks? How do we feel about MTV's current programming lineup? Can this satire still work today? Would we watch There's a Bat in My House? and Which sketch/vignette in this is our favorite? among many others...

Somewhere, in an alternate Universe, we're talking all about Timothy Olyphant, star of the Fast & Furious franchise as Dominic Toretto. No, really, he was the first choice. Isn't that weird to think about?

STEVE AND IZZY from EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES jump universes to join the boys to talk about THE ONE, Jet Li's insane action movie where he goes to fight...himself. There's also a rat with massive exposed testicles. True art.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Is Vin Diesel a member of Blue Man Group? Who's our favorite Jet Li Variant? Can Marvel learn anything from this movie? What does the teleportation in this movie remind us of? What does TK stand for? and Whose hairline does Jason Statham have in this film? among many others...

Like Zoinks Scoob, I'm wearing a mesh shirt and teeny tiny sunglasses!

Look it was either that or writing the whole thing in 3p1c H@ck3r L4ngu@g3. And that would be a pain in the @$$.

DAVID ARNOLD from GIMMICKS and ARE YOU MY MOTHER activates his modem to log into a City-like motherboard and join the boys in a chat room all about HACKERS. It's 1995 as hell up in here. David's a young man. Luke's a toddler. Connor's barely a baby. It's a weird podcast!

Join them as they answer such questions as: Is this the quintessential bisexual awakening movie? What's the deal with Angelina Jolie's Haircut? Are these Screennames cool or stupid? Is the villain in this the problematic scientist from the Short Circuit movies? How old are these "high schoolers"? and Was 1995 fashion sexy? among many others...

Scariest Mike Myers movies, ranked: #5) Halloween Kills #4) Rob Zombie's Halloween #3) Halloween (2018) #2) The Cat in the Hat/The Love Guru (tie) #1) Halloween (1978)

JASON from DADS FROM THE CRYPT dusts off his William Shatner mask to join the boys on a little Holiday-appropriate fun as they discuss the John Carpenter classic HALLOWEEN. And somehow they get through the entire episode discussing a Jamie Lee Curtis movie without making a single Activia joke.

Join them as they answer such questions as: How did Michael learn to drive? Is this really that scary anymore? Do Laurie Strode's friends suck? Does the guy in the opening scene really last that quickly? How has reserved seating made moviegoing different? Has Connor been lied to about the plot of Halloween Ends? and What really makes Michael Myers scary in this one? among many others...

🎵When I up, down touch the ground, it puts me in the mood, up down touch the ground in the mood for murder🎵-Pooh in this movie, probably.

BRIAN from BERATED B-RATED MOVIES join the boys deep in the Public Domain Hundred Acre Wood to talk about WINNIE THE POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY. Guts, gore, and creepypasta stories about Eeyore being cannibalized. What more could you ask for?

Join them as they answer such questions as: Why are these Characters like this? Can we think of other kid-friendly properties to become horror movies? How did Pooh get so Yoked? and Does our show have enough Vin Diesel Jokes? among many others...

For once, us bringing up ELVIS (2022, dir. Baz Luhrmann) not only makes sense, but it enhances the discussion of this movie! It's almost like we should retire discussing it after this episode, but we promise not to.

BRADLEY ROBINSON (formerly D College Podcast and Cinema is Dead) finally pays the boys a visit outside of the Holidays in order to talk about BUBBA HO TEP. You know Bubba Ho Tep! It's a perfectly normal movie in which an ass-eating Mummy attacks a retirement home where the Lone Ranger, Elvis Presley, and JFK (but Black) live. We know what you're thinking, "ugh, ANOTHER movie about old Elvis and JFK (but Black with a head full of sand)? Hollywood is out of ideas!".

Join them as they answer questions such as: Is Bruce Campbell's Elvis voice good, or is it Johnny Bravo? Do we think this movie could have been sillier? Did we miss anything watching this on Tubi? How long can Connor and Brad talk about Steelbooks? and Can Luke convince everyone It's Pat is a worthwhile watch? Among others...

There's a billion dollar movie idea in this episode, so naturally we're publishing it for free instead of selling it to The Russo Brothers for a billion dollars.

CHRIS BUDNICKI blasts off to the moon to meet holographic versions of the boys to talk about 2022's sci-fi goof fest MOONFALL. The moon is there, and it indeed falls. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Is this movie stupid genius or stupid stupid? What's Chris' all-time favorite movie that Connor finds so stupid? Did COVID prevent this from being a franchise? What franchise is Luke shockingly not into? and Do we have shirt ideas for the "Moonfall is Good Club"? among many others...

Thank you for coming on, Chris!

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS FOR THIS EPISODE:

It's a back-to-back music double feature week! The vibes in this one are...a little different from That Thing You Do, to say the least. And of course I only mean that in the sense of they play more than one song.

NATHANIEL MARLOWE is back to join the boys on a rocketship to the top of the charts to discuss the 2010 excessively indie rock biopic THE RUNAWAYS. Can we call it a Twilight "Reunion" if it comes out the same year as Eclipse? Jury's out on that one.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Did you see them pee on that guitar? How much of the true Runaways story did this cut out? Was Tatum O'Neal also a sitcom star? and Is Michael Shannon the God Damn best or what? among many others...

Thank you for coming on, Natty! We'll be sure to link to the music video you mentioned as soon as it comes out.

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS FOR THIS EPISODE:

After tons of episodes where Tom Hanks as a music producer was mentioned, we finally have a movie to talk about it. It's just not the movie that we frequently reference.

AARON and JIMMY from TOO MUCH POPCORN join the boys at the top of the charts to discuss the nostalgia-driven music comedy that not only gave us Tom Hanks as a writer/director, but another banger of a Steve Zahn supporting performance. It's THAT THING YOU DO! Don't have the title memorized quite yet? Don't worry, it'll be drilled into your brain by the end of the movie.

Join them as they answer such questions as: How many times do they sing that same song? Was Tom Everett Scott cast just because of his Tom Hanks looks? Which one of us is vehemently anti Liv Tyler? and Just what the hell is a Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters? among many others...

It's an 8 time Academy Award Winning film including Best Picture, so this week we're no-nonsense, all class, and definitely totally focused the entire time.

JT HOLTAWAY bursts into the room to listen to the boys recount their battles with a young composer who was sent to torture them by God, or something. Or would it be a young rival podcaster? Do any podcasts want to start Salieri/Mozart beef with us to up listenership? DM us to let us know. Anyway, this week's movie is the critically acclaimed director's cut of AMADEUS.

Join them as they answer such questions as: What are the best parts of this movie? Would we have liked this movie as much if there were less boobies? What's the first name of Connor and JT's middle school band teacher? What director is the annoying laugh totally based on? and Can we name some of the hot new sports that are popping up on the sports betting scene? among many others...

JT isn't active online right now but y'all should keep on rocking in the free world!

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS FOR THIS EPISODE:

It's Son of the Mask but it's not like it's Son of THE Mask even though it's definitely THE Mask but Jim Carrey's not here so think of it as just The Mask not THE Mask also there's a dog.

NICK CHERRY travels 200 Miles Outside of Edge City to visit the boys in their far too brightly colored house and help them babysit an Uncanny Valley hellspawn while talking about SON OF THE MASK. It's another two against one episode as one of them tries to defend the picture at least a little bit, while the others just tear it to shreds.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Does Connor still have nightmares about this movie? How does this compare to the original Mask? Is Steven Wright a welcome presence in this? What's the gross deleted scene from this movie? Is this a worthwhile Chuck Jones tribute? and Do we think Jamie Kennedy is right about the director's cut of this being better? among many others...

SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS FOR THIS EPISODE:

You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. You take the pale yellow Corona-colored pill - you listen to an episode of No Highway Option talking about one of the most legendary Sci-Fi movies of all time. Weird choice, if you take the podcast pill.

KORY LOUKO returns (and you can actually hear her the whole time this time!) to join the boys in their back-to-back Wachowski weeks and discuss 1999's THE MATRIX! It's our second time journeying into The Matrix, technically, but our first time spending an entire movie there. Can YOU remember which movie we covered first?

Join them as they answer such questions as: Are the WGA and SAG Strikes resolved yet? (As of this writing: not yet. Pay your writers and actors!!!) How deep are the Wachowskis' stories? Has this movie's CGI aged well? Are there different reads on this movie now that both directors have transitioned? Which pill would we take? and Why did so many kids movies and TV parody this R-Rated movie? among many others...

Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to Vin Diesel, past and present, and by each Riddick and every Fast & Furious, we birth our No Highway Option.

KENDELL SWEENEY-THOMAS tells a tale to the boys of past lives, connected souls, and unfortunately problematic makeup. That's right, the boys are diving into CLOUD ATLAS, the Wachowski's 2012 sci-fi epic featuring what has become our favorite first episode of the batch pastime, Tom Hanks going too hard on an accent. With more than one accent!

Join them as they answer such questions as: What were our past lives like? Are Guy Fawkes and Guy Fieri the same guy? Is Love always the answer? Is liking short movies a fad or are there real reasons for it? and What indeed is the tru tru? among many others...

We've got one last chapter, then it's time to close the book on THE TWILIGHT SAGA... until that TV series starts? We shall see.

BRANDON TANCZAK is recruited by the boys to join them in the ultimate fight against Michael Sheen hamming it up and Dakota Fanning burning babies. That's right, it's time for THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN: PART TWO! And we promise, it's not a long extended fakeout episode featuring the shocking deaths of each host.

That would have been a good bit, though. Do we have time to re-record?

Join them as they answer such questions as: Have we met Robot Renesmee? Is Lee Pace at his hottest here? Does anyone remember the show FlashForward? Did going into this completely blind help Brandon enjoy it? and Did everyone enjoy this one? among many others...

In true M. Night Shyamalan fashion, this episode has a mind-bending twist: One of us actually really likes this movie!!

TAYLOR COAN escapes a supernatural spooky House and joins the boys on a supernatural spooky Beach...a beach that makes you OLD! Will their trip change their lives and make them think about the meaning of being human, or are they just gonna have silly fun?

Join them as they answer such questions as: Do the rocks also make acting worse? What's going on with M. Night Shyamalan's sex life? What was the classic comic strip Dilbert up to in April of 2023? Which impression does Connor keep trying to force to be funny? and Could this movie have been something? among many others...

At long last, we FINALLY get to meet Renesmee! The entire franchise has been building up to this weird little CGI Baby Face!

Jade Brooks-Bartlett and the boys attend a Washington Wedding in THE TWILGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN: PART ONE. There should be plenty of Rainier Beer and Rainbow Fish filets to go around, even after all of the "totally not a vampire" speeches.

Join them as they answer such questions as: How many movies could we condense this story into? Did we learn any new words thanks to this franchise? Was the sex scene overhyped? Is Part Two gonna stick the landing? and Just What the Hell is up with the Imprinting? among many others...

It's the third movie in the Twilight Franchise and it's...more of the same??

Derick McDuff (Underrated) pulls up to the woods of Forks Washington to joins the boys in a game of shirtless Cup-a-Fart as they discuss THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE. They've gotta be careful so they don't shatter like porcelain dolls, for some inexplicable reason.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Why do these monsters not follow normal monster rules? Are there Frankensteins or Goblins in this world? Have our Cullen rankings changed? Is Taylor Launter a good actor? and What's Dakota Fanning's filmography like? among many others...

You know something? These Jigsaw "games" don't seem like much fun at all!

Jason Mountain joins the boys to investigate a series of grisly murders spearheaded by comedian and noted slap victim Chris Rock. That's right, it's time to talk SPIRAL FROM THE BOOK OF SAW. Everyone's going to follow the clues leftover by the dead bodies to reveal the ultimate torture "game": watching this movie.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Why do Saw killers wear Pig Masks? Is the Jigsaw voice in this bad? Should Samuel L. Jackson have danced like Pinocchio? and Are these traps effective? among many others...

NEXT WEEK: THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE with DERICK MCDUFF

Thank you for listening! Please review us on your podcast provider and share us with your friends, we really appreciate it!
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We are not actually sponsored by Rainier Beer but if they hear this and wanna send a 6 pack our way...we won't say no.

Savannah MacHamer and the boys return to Forks, Washington to discuss THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON. There's werewolves in this one. Plus ghost Edward, silly secret Vampire councils, and Anna Kendrick continuing to wonder why she's still in these movies. Plus FACE PUNCH. Let's Do This.

Join them as they answer such questions as: Are these werewolves actually werewolves? Is Dr. Cullen actually a good doctor? Are there other supernatural creatures in this world? and Are the boys going to enjoy the rest of this franchise, or was watching all 5 of these a huge mistake? among many others...

NEXT WEEK: SPIRAL FROM THE BOOK OF SAW with JASON MOUNTAIN

Thank you for listening! Please review us on your podcast provider and share us with your friends, we really appreciate it!
Follow our socials:
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The boys don their best vegetable costumes in order to entertain returning guest MIKE KING as they discuss the 2003 Eddie Murphy classic DADDY DAY CARE. Well, it's got a 27% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so is it really a classic? We'll find out what the fellas think

Join them as they answer such questions as: Is Steve Zahn Hollywood's best guy? Do we remember parts of this movie that aren't really there? Would we be part of the Hallmark Christmas Movie Cinematic Universe? Wait a minute, is that one of the Fanning sisters? and Why did we know Eddie Murphy so well as kids? among many others...

NEXT WEEK: THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON with SAVANNAH MACHAMER

Follow Mike on Instagram @miking34

Thank you for listening! Please review us on your podcast provider and share us with your friends, we really appreciate it!
Follow our socials:
Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/TikTok: @NoHighwayPod

Jessica Suriano returns to join the boys on a Pacific Northwest road trip, with an extended stop off in Forks, Washington. That's right, it's time to kick off the TWILIGHT franchise at long last! Connor and Luke are generally fresh to the teen vampire romance franchise, while Jess is an old pro. Plus, the first ever edition of NO HIGHWAY OPTION LOST MEDIA: A Twilight Spoof sketch starring high-school aged Luke?? Fun times to be had!

Join them as they answer such questions as: Just what the hell is going on here? Is there a better dad in fiction than Charlie Swan? Who's the #1 Cullen? and Are the boys going to enjoy the rest of this franchise, or was watching all 5 of these a huge mistake? among many others...

NEXT WEEK: DADDY DAY CARE with MIKE KING

Follow Jess on Instagram @jessurianooo

Thank you for listening! Please review us on your podcast provider and share us with your friends, we really appreciate it!
Follow our socials:
Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/TikTok: @NoHighwayPod

We're baaaaaack! Connor and Luke saw FAST X, the first part of a supposed 2 or 3 part finale to the Fast & Furious Saga, and rushed to the studio to talk about it. A movie with so many cars, so many explosions, so much family, and so much forgetting to introduce ourselves at the start of the episode. Whoops.

Join them as they answer questions such as: What character is Jason Momoa channeling in this? How many more of these movies can they do? What's the weirdest character turn in this franchise? Was a little car that holds popcorn purchased for $50? What are part 2 and maybe 3 of this finale going to look like? Did we expect any of those cameos? and many more...

NEXT WEEK: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN with ALEX LEVITT

Thank you for listening and coming back after our hiatus! Please review us on your podcast provider and share us with your friends, we really appreciate it!
Follow our socials:
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It's weird how the Christmas Movie debate seems to only apply to the first Die Hard, nobody mentions it about the sequel.

DERICK MCDUFF (Underrated, WatchMojo) rushes to his gate at a crowded airport to join the boys in a conversation all about DIE HARD 2. That's right, John McClane is back as the podcast continues to cover the Die Hard franchise in the weirdest possible order. 

Join them as they answer questions such as: Is John McClane becoming a Psychopath? How many "oh, that guy"s are in this film? What other sequel with a plane-based climax does this remind Connor of? Who's Jai Courtney again? and Was that his mother-in-law or some random old lady? among others...

NEXT WEEK: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Bleh bleh bleh! Get ready for a parade of bad to okay impressions!

Grab your bathing suits and climb aboard! STEVE and IZZY from EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MOVIES join the boys on a fabulous ocean liner this week to talk about HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3: SUMMER VACATION. It's a goofy cartoony time both in the movie and on the podcast. Who could ask for anything more?

Join them as they answer questions such as: Can this Podcast make a billion dollars? Does Zing just mean getting a vampire boner? Does Adam Sandler Dracula drink blood? Why are the teens mad at The Invisible Man? and How many times can a meh Dracula impression be done in a single episode? among others...

NEXT WEEK: LIFEFORCE

No Highway To Hell Option/Spooky Highway Option/Confusingly Something About Boob According to Luke/whatever we're calling it finally begins with a real big scary movie...maybe.

There's something in the attic. Is it the horrifying ghost of Mr. Wilson, or could it just be YouTubers trying out acting for the first time? The only way for the boys to truly find out is to team up with RUSSELL PIRKLE and HANNAH WEYER from POP ETYMOLOGY to talk about 2016's BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN. Put on your best wig and wacky floral dress, it's time to get silly.

Join them as they answer questions such as: Is Ernest P. Worrell truly the white Madea? How long did this take to film? Wait, how many characters does Tyler Perry play? Are we dedicating an entire month or marathon to this franchise? and How do the guys feel about their first Madea movie? among others...

NEXT WEEK: HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 3: SUMMER VACATION 

OH, you read that subtitle right. We somehow get into Dear Evan Hansen in this one. Fresh takes!.

When the government is about to be hacked, and a fire sale seems imminent, there's only one group to call: the boys and returning guest ELON MOXEY. They're here to talk about John McClane's 4th outing, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, and determine once and Justin Long's supposed age in this film once and for all.

Join them as they answer questions such as: Is John McClane talented or lucky? How's the MPAA work? What's the deal with Dear Evan Hansen? How many poorly received TV shows is Luke a fan of? and What's the villainous motivation? among others...

NEXT WEEK: No Highway TO HELL Option begins with BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN

Just like the movie itself, it's a title that isn't weird and gross at first glance, but once there's context...yuck.

Quick! It's time for the boys to run into a diamond mine with JOEY from AFFABLE CHAT so they can talk about the 80's action/thriller/borderline fetish porn movie, WHITE FIRE. Hooo boy buckle up for...something. This movie's definitely...something. 

Join them as they answer questions such as: How do you spell Istanbul? How gross is this subplot? Can a blow dart really kill someone? Wait, they can show nudity on YouTube? and What's the deal with the diamond's radiation? among others...

NEXT WEEK: LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD with a returning guest...

The TikTok reference in the title will be outdated in a month (it may already be on its way out now) but come on it's funnnnn.

Let's hope we have the budget for THREE guests, because GREG, JAMIE, and CASEY from VIDEO HIGH are here to talk about Kevin James doing UFC in order to save a music department in HERE COMES THE BOOM! I'm pretty sure it's the first canonical mention of Joe Rogan on the podcast, and there's a big sweet conspiracy that starts it all of. 

Join them as they answer questions such as: What is the spectrum of 2010s New England movies? Is there a movie this reminds us of? Is Kevin James believable as a fighter? Wait, the school needs HOW much for the music program? and Hey do we talk about Salma Hayek at all? among others...

NEXT WEEK: WHITE FIRE

If you thought ONE Velocipastor movie sounded silly, get ready. We pitch a whole trilogy. And they're all guaranteed great because they came from a podcast. 

Grab your sacramental wine and find your favorite doctor/hooker/lawyer friend, because it's time for returning guest BEN FROM I DRINK YOUR PODCAST to drop in and chat about the 2018 Comedy THE VELOCIPASTOR. It's a real short movie that does exactly what it says on the tin. So short, in fact, we even get a little Movie 43 talk in! I'm sure you've all been crying out for some Movie 43 talk, right?

Join them as they answer questions such as Is Velocipastor Hulk or Werewolf rules? What MCU movie should this director do next? Are you allowed to chug church wine? Has cinema birthed a character greater than Frankie Mermaid? and Why does Vietnam look like a forest in someone's backyard? among many others.

NEXT WEEK: HERE COMES THE BOOM with VIDEO HIGH

Yes Master, we are prepared to create a podcast about a sentient tire slasher movie. It shall be done immediately.

Grab your binoculars and plant yourself in the middle of the desert, because it's time for ZACK FEDERICI to drop in and talk about the 2011 Comedy/Slasher/Tire movie RUBBER. One of us hates it, one of us loves it, and one of us does a good job of keeping you guessing how they felt. It's pretty darn easy to guess which is which!

Join them as they answer questions such as How does this tire do anything? Does this movie have anything to do with the HERBIE Franchise? How do we feel about Herbies vs Robert the Tires vs Monster Houses? What's the longest anyone's given a standing ovation at a film festival? and Why'd that boy go into the pool fully clothed? among many others.

NEXT WEEK: VELOCIPASTOR with BEN FROM IDYP

*Seth Rogen Laugh*

When we started this show, we mostly did family comedies in a similar vein to The Pacifier. Now we're on our second NC-17 rated movie. What an evolution we've gone through. 

THERESA (The Gremlins episode, @tortellinguini on twitter) hitchhikes to Vegas with the boys in order to talk about SHOWGIRLS, a legendary "so bad it's good" movie. Sex, rage, dance, monkeys, and bizarre dialogue abound. Oh, and as the title suggests, nipples. There are so many nipples in this movie. 

Join them as they answer questions such as Wait, is this actually good? What's Paul Verhoven doing? How old is our main protagonist, emotionally? Does Luke have a SmoothMyBalls promo code? and How old was Elizabeth Berkley when she filmed this? among others...

NEXT WEEK: REEFER MADNESS: THE MUSICAL 

There are so many great moments in our first 60something episodes, it was hard to decide what moments should make it in our first episode, but these bits make us smile and laugh. Do you have a favorite that didn't make it? Let us know so we can add it into the next Best Of comp!

Thanks to all our wonderful guests from the very beginning! You guys keep this show fresh and fun! 

NEXT WEEK: SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY

Stay tuned after the outro theme! This week has our first post-credits sequence!

CORY WEISSMAN joins the boys around the streets of New York City and Long Island as they avoid people they owe money, and talk about the 2019 thriller UNCUT GEMS. Let's get stressed out once again! Sorry Connor's audio is a little weird in this one!

Join them as they answer questions such as Is this Adam Sandler's best performance? How did we feel during this? Would we ever be able to get a word in with Howie? Was Idina Menzel a tall child? and What other actors would we like to see play the role of Howie? among others...

NEXT WEEK: OUR FIRST BEST OF EPISODE!

Any favorite moments from the show? Tweet us, email us, or give us a call!