Non-Monogamy Help
By Lola Phoenix
Thirteen Mistakes People Make When Trying Polyamory
An audio version available for my Polyamory 101 article Thirteen Mistakes People Make When Trying Polyamory.
You can read the entire article for free here.
Support what I do by becoming a subscriber on Spotify or becoming a Patron to get it for free.
Episode 120 - Forced Primary
You’ve been happy as a secondary but slowly your partner is requesting more and more time after a recent breakup.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Episode 119 - Brutal Honesty
Your partner outright tells you that they plan on prioritising someone over you. It’s harsh but is it what should happen?
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Episode 118 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
When you agree to a DADT relationship with a closeted partner but it’s not moving fast enough into a more polyamorous relationship.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Episode 117 - Metamour Management
Sometimes knowing way too much about your partner’s relationship with their metamour can seriously impact your relationship.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 116 - Authentically Polyamorous
Telling the difference between a couple of bad dates and polyamory just not being for you can sometimes be difficult.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 115 - Compersion Required
Is it unethical or wrong to not want to date someone who doesn’t feel compersion? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 114 - Creeping Paranoia
A partner who reacts to a little bit of paranoia by accusing you of calling them a liar isn’t the best sign of moving forward in conflict in a relationship.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 113 - Slowly Losing Time
You’re slowly and slowly losing the time you have with a metamour and you’re not quite sure how to navigate their boundaries around their time.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 112 - Happiness Is An Inside Job
Staying with someone to make them happy may not be what you think it should be.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 111 - Friend Without Benefits
A friends with benefits situation that seems like it might go into something more because your FWB complains about their partner may seem ideal but it’s actually not.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 110 - Live Q&A #1
I hosted my first Live Q&A on Instagram and got a lot of interesting questions. If you missed it, check it out here and be sure to follow @NonMonogamyHelp. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 109 - Wanting More Time
Is the drive to go out and get another partner to “balance” things out just childish? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 108 - Gendered Energies
There’s a lot behind being worried about being judged as a thruple but also wanting masculine energy for an upcoming child. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 107 - When To End It
If you’re not sure whether or not to stay together but you want to stay together for the children, is that a possibility in polyamory? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 106 - The Third Wheel
Dating two people who have a history together is going to trigger some anxiety within you. Maybe you’re not jealous — you’re just normal. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 105 - Becoming Monogamous
Therapy can’t make someone monogamous who doesn’t want to be and it can’t make someone non-monogamous who doesn’t want to be. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 104 - Primal Panic
This letter encapsulates why I feel like attachment labels can be extremely unhelpful for people who experience anxiety during polyamory. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 103 - Rose Tinted Glasses
Picking polyamory because you don’t politically agree with monogamy doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t experience any negative emotions. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 102 - Clear Communication
Polyamory won’t solve an issue where you don’t believe people when they tell you they are interested in you and this podcast explains why. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 101 - Reconciliation or Retribution
Your new non-monogamous relationship has begun from cheating — and your partner wants to keep dating the person they cheated with. How do you rebuild trust from that? That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 100 - Monogamy Is Not A Belief
You can ask yourself if monogamous people can “change” or you can ask yourself why you keep choosing to expect monogamous people will change for you. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 99 - Long Distance Jealousy
It’s hard when you’re in a long distance relationship and someone else gets to be with your partner when you can’t. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 98 - Mixed Signals is a Signal
Learn how to step away from not only mixed signals but also from managing your partner’s other relationships. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 97 - When to Say When
Non-monogamy is *not* about building a series of unfulfilling relationships until you reach a permissible stasis. That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 96 - Needing Distance After Dates
Your partner comes home from a date and needs reassurance, but you can’t give it in that moment. Is this something to overcome?
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Episode 95 - Secretly Non-Monogamous
If you’re not sure if you’re really non-monogamous or not, how do you label yourself on dating sites to make sure you’re not doing something wrong?
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
Non-Monogamy Help Trailer
What's Non-Monogamy Help about? I explain it. Head to nonmonogamyhelp.com for more details.
Episode 94 - Clashing Triggers
It triggers you to open the relationship but it triggers your partner to close it. Is there any way to solve it? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 93 - Meeting Metamours
A metamour not wanting to meet you is not always a sign of insecurity or jealousy but demanding to meet and be friends with a metamour might actually be about insecurity. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 92 - Unclear Boundaries
Sometimes people are jerks and sometimes experiences help us learn when we can also step away. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 91 - Hierarchies and Ethics
Some people think having a “primary” partner is always an unethical decision but isn’t prioritising a long term marriage logical? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 90 - Breakup News
Mentioning that you’re going through a breakup is not an expectation of emotional support to new partners, friends or anyone else. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 89 - Mismatched Drives
Will opening a relationship help if one partner expects spontaneous sex but the other is dealing with a stressful job and anxiety medication? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 88 - One Rule to Rule Them All
Sometimes making a rule causes the exact problem that the rule is designed to prevent. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 87 - Showering Rules
When having strict rules makes you feel controlled, coming to a compromise with a partner who wants a specific thing can seem impossible. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 86 - No Exes as Friends
Your new partner demands, during a period of grief, that you stop being friends with an ex and now might not be the best time to push back on the ultimatum. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 85 - Insecurity and Comparisons
You want to be non-monogamous but you can’t stop feeling a way about your partner commenting or liking pictures of others. How do you deal? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 84 - Disclosure and Outing
You’re in a not so open minded city. How do you tell people you want to date that you’re currently in a polyamorous or open relationship? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 83 - Recycled Dates
What happens when you’re trying non-monogamy for the first time, but you and your partner can’t come to an agreement on things like not going to the same places they’ve taken a metamour? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 82 - Dating Metamours
When your shared partner is making you both feel like you’re a triad when you’ve never agreed to that… it can get a little awkward. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 81 - Just FOMO
Thinking about the things you might be missing out on doesn’t, in fact, make you a jerk. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 80 - Trying to Convince
If you’re trying to convince your partner to be polyamorous, you may not be able to “fix” them wanting monogamy. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 79 - Outside Veto
This week's episode is about what happens when a mutual friend is unhappy with the relationship building happening between you and someone else. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 78 - Not Good Enough
Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 77 - Making the Leap
If non-monogamy is a no go, should you say goodbye to a five year relationship on a hunch? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 76 - No Way Out
If you feel you’re between crushing emotions and a family breakdown, you might feel like there’s no way out. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 75 - Overreacting
Your short term partner is snapping and says it’s a joke and your long term partner says you’re overreacting. How do you deal?
That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
Episode 74 - Dating Family
In starting out in polyamory, most people want to make rules — like no dating friends or family. It’s worth thinking more about that rule.
That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help.
Find the full audio transcription of this episode on our website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
More about Non-Monogamy Help:
Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.
