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Number Two Podcast

Number Two Podcast

By Lourdes and Tello

Number Two Podcast is the journey of two cousins from a dysfunctional Latino family trying to make it through life by laughing at it.
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NTP 071: Spooky Stories Pt 2

Number Two PodcastOct 30, 2021

NTP 071: Spooky Stories Pt 2
Oct 30, 202158:55
NTP 070: Spooky Stories Pt 1
Oct 09, 202101:01:45
NTP 069: Texas Slang
Sep 14, 202101:22:24
NTP 068: Dreams, and More Golden Oldies
Aug 31, 202101:22:24
NTP 067: Family Favorites, and Golden Oldies
Aug 17, 202101:13:42
NTP 066: Making Movies, and Family Gatherings
Aug 03, 202156:32
NTP 065: First Jobs and Internet Scams
Jul 20, 202101:08:12
NTP 064: Gen X vs Gen Z Pt. 2
Jul 06, 202155:56
NTP 063: Gen X vs Gen Z Pt.1

NTP 063: Gen X vs Gen Z Pt.1

  • Lourdes and Tello start off the show off by introducing their special guests - Lourdes’ daughters Isabel and Pila.
  • Lourdes tries to explain the competition that we’ll be having between Gen X and Gen Z, but basically it boils down to a trivia competition about each other’s generation.
  • Tello reads a passionate description of what it was like growing up as a Generation X. He thinks they are latch-lock generation, the last analog generation, and the bridge to the digital generation.
  • Tello thinks Gen Z has a better chance of winning since so much of Gen X’s nostalgia has been repackaged and sold to Gen Z.
  • Tello is surprised that Isabel and Pila are not Harry Styles fans.
  • Lourdes mispronounces Dolly Parton’s name.
  • Tello plays the Corey Haim hotline commercial for Lourdes’ kids to see if they would ever call a hotline like that.
  • Number Two Cuz starts off with a pre-quiz show quiz. Tello hates everything about it.
  • Lourdes gets confused by the first Gen Z question.
  • Tello’s Gen X questions mostly revolved around pop culture while Isabel and Pila’s Gen Z questions were more academic about their generation.
  • Lourdes and Tello struggled for their points, but Gen Z gave them a run for their money.
  • The score was close at the end of the show, but it was not the final score. Come back for part 2 to see who is the definitive winner of Gen X vs Gen Z.

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Jun 22, 202101:09:05
NTP 062: Que Pedo, Guey?
Jun 08, 202101:04:11
NTP 061: Lies, Lies, Y Mas Lies

NTP 061: Lies, Lies, Y Mas Lies

  • Lourdes asks if Tello can tell when she is lying to him.
  • Tello talks about how he handles a situation when he’s being lied to.
  • Tello recalls a story of when he caught someone lying to him at work.
  • Number Two Cuz tells the story of when she caught a teenager lying to her at work.
  • Lourdes read an article that says that 60% or teenagers lie. Tello pointed out that Number Two Cuz has teenagers living in her house.
  • Lourdes can’t tell when her teenage son is lying to her.
  • Lourdes talks about some of the things she lied about as a child - including the time she called Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.
  • Number Two Cuz also admits to lying about smoking cigarettes and hippie lettuce and letting her older sister take the blame.
  • Lourdes also remembers lying about  smoking in her mom’s house.
  • Tello and Lourdes talk about the time she called the Coreys, and Tello remembers when he tried to download rainbows and unicorns that added a charge to his mom’s phone bill.
  • Lourdes talks about situations that make her feel like she needs to when she hit the garbage can with her car.
  • Lourdes talks more in depth about an article she read about lying.
  • Number Two Cuz quizzes Tello to see if he knows what situations might cause her to tell lies.
  • Tello plays two truths and a lie, and he admits to something that almost no one knows.
  • Tello tells horror stories of when he worked for the Post Office.

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May 25, 202101:10:12
NTP 060: Apple Fans Pt. 2

NTP 060: Apple Fans Pt. 2

  • Isabelle joins Lourdes and Tello for part 2 of the Apple celebration.
  • Number Two Cuz updates everyone on her eye hole surgery.
  • Lourdes is a fan of roller coasters, and she’s concerned that riding them might be too much for her eyes to handle.
  • Tello is reminded of the crazy documentary he recently watched called “Class Action Park.”
  • A listener responded to episode 58 “Eye Holes and Superstitions” with a cajun superstition of their own.
  • Number Two Cuz mispronounced “incense” in an embarrassing way.
  • Tello recalls Apple’s famous “Think Different” ad campaign which featured some great 20th century personalities including, Alfred Hitchcock, Pablo Picasso, and many others.
  • Tello recalls the introduction of the iMac and how much he didn’t like or appreciate what it had to offer at the time.
  • Tello talks about how iTunes may have saved the music industry, and Lourdes and Tello recall their younger days burning CDs.
  • Tello comments on how smartphones have given everyone a digital camera, and Number Two Cuz recalls the expense of buying a digital camera for Isabelle to use for her photography class.
  • Tello talks about how Apple affected the podcast boom.
  • Lourdes talks about Apple’s limitations, but Isabelle points out that it’s really because Number Two Cuz doesn’t like Apple and doesn’t know how to use its products.
  • Tello appreciates Apple for giving him the tools and inspiration to continue his creative career goals.

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May 11, 202101:05:50
NTP 059: Apple Fans Pt. 1
Apr 28, 202101:06:11
NTP 058: Eye Holes and Superstitions

NTP 058: Eye Holes and Superstitions

  • Lourdes and Tello reflect on if the last episode was appropriate for children, even though her child was a part of the last show.
  • Number Two Cuz has to take her glasses off during the show because they have a bad issue with reflection.
  • Lourdes was having an issue with her vision, and her coworker thought it could be the worst case scenario.
  • Lourdes’ doctor felt it might be an emergency situation, so he recommended a specialist.
  • The doctor requested that Number Two Cuz get laser surgery as quickly as possible to address her eye-hole.
  • When Number Two Cuz went in for laser surgery, the doctor had some trouble with his equipment. He was surprised because it had never happened to him before.
  • Number Two Cuz wears a red bracelet to protect her from “bad juju”.
  • Tello is not familiar with that superstition, but he is eager to talk about some research he’s done on Mexican superstitions.
  • Lourdes tells a couple of stories of friends and relatives who also wear red bracelets to protect them from bad luck, and she recalls a story where her mother-in-law used red thread to protect her daughter from ojo (the evil eye).
  • Tello reads excerpts from an article on how superstitions affect our psychology and well-being, and it’s not always a bad thing.
  • Tello talks about how superstitions give people a false sense of control over their outer condition, i.e. doing the sign of the cross when a black cat crosses their path.
  • Superstitions can be used to enhance performance in some people.
  • For many people it’s easier to pay the cost of a cheap superstition than risk the outcome of any bad luck.
  • Tello reads through a list of Mexican superstitions to see if Number Two Cuz is familiar with any of them.
  • Watching a dog poop is said to cause a stye or pimple in your eye, and Tello thinks this is how Number Two Cuz got her eye hole.
  • Tello surprises Lourdes with a quick math question about money, and Lourdes is confident she knows the answer because she used to work at a bank.
  • Mexican’s have superstitions about dropping tortillas, pregnant women and eclipses, ojo, and the list goes on and on. Tello and Number Two Cuz go through the list to see what superstitions they believe in and remember from growing up in a very Mexican family.

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Apr 13, 202159:23
NTP 057: An Awkward Conversation

NTP 057: An Awkward Conversation

  • Number Two Cuz brings her daughter Pila to be a guest on the show today.
  • Pila starts the show off with a gross story of why she needs to shower.
  • Tello starts off by recapping Lourdes’ spaghetti dinner story with Pila to see what her thoughts were on the situation.
  • Pila thinks that the spaghetti dinner might have been her dad’s first time not enjoying a meal.
  • Lourdes’s husband “Homie” doesn’t like much else beyond Mexican food.
  • Pila and her sister Isabel were in agreement with not giving their dad options for dinner.
  • Pila recalls a time when they made a fake plate of food for their dad when he said he’d eat “whatever” for dinner.
  • Tello “turns off” Number Two Cuz’s headphones so he can ask Pila how she really feels about her mom.
  • Lourdes gets upset when she works late, and her husband doesn’t start dinner.
  • Tello recalls a time when Homie was cooking, and didn’t wash his hands after using the restroom. Lourdes has noticed that her husband often doesn’t wash his hands when he goes to the bathroom.
  • Lourdes confronted her husband and son on this, and it lead to an awkward conversation about how men clean themselves after urinating.
  • Tello tried his best to explain that a great majority of men don’t wipe themselves after going number one.
  • The conversation almost turns into a battle of the sexes as Tello tries to explain why men don’t think of cleaning their fronts like they do their behinds.
  • Lourdes is flabbergasted by this revelation, and Tello is embarrassed to have this conversation in front of Pila.
  • This lead to Tello talking about giving a urine sample, and accidentally making a mess.
  • Lourdes recalls the night of Pila’s birth.
  • Lourdes gives Pila’s age in months, and Tello confesses that he hates when people give their babies age in months after they’re a year old.
  • Lourdes complains that after having children, she sometimes pees a little when she coughs or sneezes. Tello asks repeatedly if Number Two Cuz has to wear diapers.
  • Pila confesses that she’s not that much of a drinker, and she doesn’t think she can get high.
  • Lourdes and Pila recall a family dinner where they asked their Google assistant about condoms.
  • Pila’s brother Luis thinks condoms are bad for the environment, so he thought it would be best not to use them. Pila disagreed, and they had a family conversation about condom use.
  • Pila talks about getting “the talk” from her aunt Phoebe, and a much more uncomfortable “talk” her grandma Monkey gave her.
  • Lourdes has encouraged her children to seek therapy, and Tello agrees that it’s probably a good idea.

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Mar 30, 202154:33
NTP 056: Ice, Art, and Mexican Slang

NTP 056: Ice, Art, and Mexican Slang

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Mar 16, 202101:00:35
NTP 055: Spaghetti Dinner and Nostalgia

NTP 055: Spaghetti Dinner and Nostalgia

  • Tello reads some excerpts from an article about Nostalgia from Brit+Co .
  • Lourdes talks about her double nostalgic trip with her mom.
  • Number Two Cuz’s mom sent her a photo of her birth card from the hospital when she was born.
  • Lourdes talks about her father rescuing her mom after a bad relationship.
  • Number Two Cuz talks about looking like a little boy in childhood photos.
  • Big Luis didn’t like the dinner that Lourdes made for him, and she was hurt and offended.
  • Number Two admits to feeling a little resentful towards her husband when she prepared this dinner.
  • Lourdes and Tello talk about cooking responsibilities between stovetop cooking and barbecuing.
  • Lourdes and Tello talk about Tello’s home video transfer project.
  • Number Two Cuz has some heartwarming feelings watching some of the old home videos that Tello transferred to digital.
  • Lourdes also experienced some melancholy while watching the old home videos.
  • Tello recalls when his uncle tried giving him advice to lose weight, but at a very awkward occasion.
  • Tello talks about his concerns about repackaging nostalgia pop culture and selling it to younger generations.
  • Number Two Cuz shocks Tello when she admits that she never taught her son to ride a bike.
  • Tello talks about the technical process to transfer the old home videos.
  • Tello also talks about the self-image he had of himself when he was younger, and how wrong he was at the time.
  • Lourdes talks about enjoying Cobra Kai with the entire family.
  • Number Two Cuz is surprised that her son is a fan of the original Footloose.
  • Lourdes talks about listening to the same sad music that her Dear Mother listened to when she was sad. Now she hears her kids listening to the same music, and she’s concerned.
  • Tello enjoys nostalgia, but he encourages everyone to be careful of falling into negative trappings of nostalgia.

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Mar 02, 202101:00:56
NTP 054: Welcome Back

NTP 054: Welcome Back

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Feb 23, 202101:01:51
N2P 053: Mom Turns 69
Oct 15, 201801:27:50
N2P 052: Anatomy of Gummy Bears

N2P 052: Anatomy of Gummy Bears

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* Tello jokes about the inconsistent release schedule of Number Two Podcast.
* Number Two Cuz should get her Associates degree in another year, but it will take a few more years to complete her full degree plan.
* Tello jokes about Lourdes starting a new career in her mid 40s.
* Lourdes is taking Anatomy this semester, and she’s afraid she won’t pass the class because she didn’t know what a vulva was.
* Number Two Cuz has to buy gummy bears to dissect for her anatomy class.
* Coincidentally Tello found some funny Amazon reviews of gummy bears.
* Lourdes will figure out how to show where the gummy bear anus is.
* Number Two Cuz forgot to apply for financial aid for this semester of school.
* Tello interrupts Lourdes’ financial aid story to read a funny Amazon review for the bag of gummy bears about someone getting the runs.
* Lourdes has a lot of pressure from school and life. Tello pretends to be future Dr. T. to help Lourdes deal with her stress.
* Tello offers some very sage advice to Lourdes to handle the stresses she’s dealing with.
* For some reason this reminded Lourdes of a fire alarm at work. Some people ignored the alarm because they thought it was a drill, but this turned out to be a real fire. Those who followed protocol got soaking wet because it was raining outside.
* Tello reads another funny Amazon review about gummy bears making people sick.
* Tello reads some iTunes reviews, and one of them makes Lourdes’ heart melt.
* Tello asks if anyone has any negative reviews of the show to post it on twitter or instagram so he can cuss them out.
* Lourdes is a nice person for a short time out of the month because she suffers from issues two weeks before and two weeks after her monthly cycle – plus there’s the week of that is also a problem too. Tello concludes that there are 5 weeks out of the month where Number Two Cuz is not a nice person.
* Tello isn’t happy with the lighting on him or Number Two Cuz. Lourdes criticizes Tello’s lights for being too bright.
* Tello reviews the changes that Lourdes made to Tello’s dating profile, but Tello isn’t really happy with the updates.
* Tello’s mom is turning 69 this year.
* Lourdes’ mother-in-law just celebrated her 79th birthday, and Luis and his family surprised her with a big party. Lourdes bought some small gifts to give away as prizes, but no one played the party games. Lourdes decided to keep the prizes to herself.
* Lourdes’ mother-in-law gave her a blessing that ended with her hand on Lourdes’ lips. Tello wonders if she washed her hands after she went to the bathroom. Lourdes was grossed out, but didn’t want to cause a scene.
* Tello tries some reverse psychology to get people to buy Number Two Podcast shirts from

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Sep 17, 201801:08:13
N2P 051: The One After 50

N2P 051: The One After 50

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* Tello starts the show off by burping into the microphone again, and Number Two Cuz is disgusted again. Tello asks the audience if they get disgusted by this behavior, and he invites people to contact him to let him know. or @numtwopod on twitter and instagram.
* Number Two Cuz is thinking of getting rid of her social media accounts, but Tello reminds her that @numtwopod needs social media attention.
* Lourdes was in charge of writing last episode’s show notes, and she delivered them late.
* Tello visited his mom a couple of weeks ago, and he was able to fix her ipad that she was having trouble with on episode 50.
* Tello was surprised that his mom didn’t do any cartwheels when he fixed her ipad.
* Tello ate too much food when he visited his mom, and watching the Netflix series “Ugly Delicious” with his mom made him eat more.
* Lourdes shares a detox recipe with Tello to help clear out some of the garbage he ate on his visit…it’s called “suck the fat.”
* Number Two Cuz saw The Equalizer Two. She liked it better than Sicario 2, but her husband and son disagree. Tello thinks this disagreement could tear the family apart.
* Lourdes registered for her classes, and Tello feels like it’s going to be a boring story.
* Lourdes will be taking Anatomy and Physiology, and Tello is glad that Number Two Cuz will finally learn what the vulva is.
* Tello wants lourdes to film herself asking the professor what the vulva is. Tello decides to act out that scenario, and Number Two Cuz begins to question her pronunciation of the vulva.
* Tello replaces some of the lyrics to the song “Volver, volver” with the word ‘vulva’.
* Lourdes remembers when their aunt Gloria read a fake death announcement for Vicente Fernandez and misinformed the entire family.
* Number Two Cuz hates when names are mispronounced.
* Tello tries to play a theme song to introduce Lourdes’ sad story, but his iPad battery is dead.
* Lourdes lost a friend and coworker to cancer, and she can’t believe how strong her friend was in the face of death.
* Lourdes had a Future Dr. T moment, and shared some advice with the audience, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
* Tello pointed out that her advice was also a popular song.
* Tello had an extended weekend stay in downtown Austin.
* For the first time in his life, Tello took a tour of the Texas State Capitol building.
* Lourdes needs a new purse because her favorite one is falling apart.
* Tello recalls a family legend that their grandfather one a bet by defecating on the steps of the Texas State Capitol.
* Tello had a poop scare walking around downtown Austin.
* Tello fell in love with his hotel bathrobe. He looked into buying one, but it was out of his price range. 
* Tello tweeted out how much he enjoyed the bathrobes, and the hotel responded to Tello’s tweet about the bathrobe. Unfortunately they were trying to sell him an even more expensive version of the robe.
* Tello has been off keto for a while, but he’s trying to be disciplined.
* Tello has been listening to motivational speeches on leadership.
* Lourdes is reminded of a commencement speech by Admiral McRaven that was very inspiring to her and Tello. His point was to make your bed to start accomplishing things early in the morning.
* Tello hates his mattress, and Lourdes thinks he should get a new one.
* Tello admits that he likes some country music.
* Lourdes interrupts the show because she had her headphones on correctly.
* Tello thinks a woman was hitting on him at a store he frequents quite often.
* Tello is hesitant to ask the woman on a date because he’s not sure how old he is,
Aug 20, 201801:29:48
N2P 050: Future Dr. T and the Man

N2P 050: Future Dr. T and the Man

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* Tello and Lourdes get super pumped about N2P 50th episode. Celebration and what nots, not happening
* Tello thinks snowcones of horchata could be life changing
* Tech talk with Mom Tello and the partial success of her iPad repair
* Family history talk time with Tello’s mom. Tello asks his mom about the mood of conception of him and his brother.  
* Mom Tello turns the show dark by trying to talk about the good deed La Marta did with an ex’s broken lawnmower.
* Tello performs a brief snippet if Space Cowboy
* Lourdes talks goals vs. fantasies and how quickly someone’s dreams or goals turn into fantasies by comparison.
* Lourdes talks butt surgery…AGAIN. Basically her butt goal has turned into a fantasies that will never happen.
* Tello uses reverse psychology on Lourdes and her mother-in-law stories. Lourdes thinks that her mother-in law is afraid of her. 
* Tello inquires on the lotto winnings and basically wants to know if Lourdes and her husband blew through the money or if they were responsible.
* Lourdes admits she is bad with finances and Tello gives some good sound financial advice.
* Tello is in a signing mood and gives another snippet performance of mmmbop, by Hanson. 
* Lourdes attempts to perform Chun Le by Nicki Minaj. Tello coaches her in a producer/director way.
* Tello talks about his obsession with Goodbye Horse by Q Lazzarus and how he realized the song was “tarnished” because of the movie Silence of the Lambs. Tello also gives some background information on Q Lazzarus’ being in it to win it.
* Lourdes drinks black coffee now and somehow ends up sharing her Tequila and Squirt mouth watering recipe.
* Lourdes talks about a new podcast, and how this podcast may help her pursue her goal of being a psychologist.  
* Lourdes slips into Dr. T mode and Tello talks about how he can basically talk himself out of anything. Tello shares some of his personal concerns of being antisocial. Lourdes gives advice to Tello on ways that he may improve his social skills. Lourdes suggest Tello take her advice and experiment with women to overcome his fear. 
* Lourdes (not Dr. T) gives terrible advice to Tello on how to meet women. Tello expresses his concern about getting to know women of his age preference. 
* Tello apologizes for sharing his personal fears and invites women listeners to send in any requests for him through social media or email

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Jul 30, 201802:02:28
N2P 049: Fond Memories and Pet Peeves

N2P 049: Fond Memories and Pet Peeves

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* Tello announces that this is episode 49, so the next one is the big five-oh!
* Lourdes would like to do a fireworks show for episode 50.
* Tello reminds Lourdes that they should have hit episode 50 in their first year, but they actually took 16 weeks off from the show.
* Lourdes thinks the time off from the show should be covered by FMLA.
* Tello hates when Number Two Cuz messes with her microphone during the show.
* Lourdes is podcasting from her daughters bedroom, and Tello notices some funny things in the background.
* Tello is annoyed that Number Two Cuz is steering the show off their agreed topics.
* Lourdes and Luis went to see Sicario 2, and Lourdes liked that the movie theater sells alcohol now.
* Lourdes complains about the amount of trailers before a movie, but Tello thinks that is part of the theatrical experience.
* Number Two Cuz liked the movie, but she’s afraid to recommend anyone to see it.
* Lourdes thinks her daughter Isabel could be a movie reviewer for the show because she sees so many movies.
* Number Two Cuz hates her time of the month, and this time it’s coinciding with her Mother-in-law’s visit.
* Lourdes’ husband Luis wore his Number Two Podcast shirt again, and Lourdes finally feels accepted.
* Luis won a lot of money playing scratch off lottery tickets, and Lourdes thinks it’s because he was wearing his lucky Number Two Podcast shirt.
* A week later, Luis won big again on some scratch offs (but he wasn’t wearing his lucky Number Two Podcast shirt).
* Lourdes would like to use the money to help cover the costs of remodeling their house, and maybe build a small studio space for her podcasting.
* Tello thinks she should build the studio in the bathroom since so much work has gone into it.
* Lourdes and Tello improv what it would be like podcasting from the bathroom.
* Lourdes wants people to buy a shirt because they might have a chance of winning at scratch offs, but Tello points out that the chances are probably the same as if they don’t buy a shirt.
* Lourdes might want to study law in addition to psychology, and Tello wants to know how many lifetimes she’s going to live to accomplish all these goals.
* Tello thinks Number Two Cuz should pay down some debt with their winnings.
* Lourdes bought some shoes with her winnings, and Tello wanted to know what she bought her kids.
* Tello is trying to get out of debt, and he’s happy that he’s finally been able to be a little more charitable with his earnings.
* Lourdes wants to know if Tello has ever done anything charitable for a complete stranger. Tello isn’t sure, but it’s definitely something that has crossed his mind.
* Lourdes struggles with doing good things for strangers because of the awkward situation it could create.
* Tello thinks it’s ok that Lourdes is a bad person who doesn’t help others.
* Tello can’t believe that Coming to America has turned 30 years old. 
* Lourdes and Tello saw the Coming to America as children, and they still love the movie today.
* Number Two Cuz borrowed a movie from a friend, but she still hasn’t watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox that Tello bought for her back in October.
* Tello is sad that Toys R Us has closed their doors for good, and he reads their farewell message to their Toys R Us kids.
* Lourdes recalls buying a some toys when she needed something quickly.
* Tello recalls working as an overnight stocker at Toys R Us, and he hated it.
* Tello quit that job because he was afraid of the people he ran into on the bus going to and from work, and he had problems stacking boxes on the top shelf.
* Tello remembers waiting on a bus and going into a Starbucks for the first time.
Jul 16, 201801:05:27
N2P 048: Dirty Towels and Sort of Internet Fame

N2P 048: Dirty Towels and Sort of Internet Fame

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* Number Two Cuz is concerned about hair growing in all the wrong places.
* Lourdes has problems pronouncing “ethnicity.”
* Tello has his own problems, and he’s afraid he’ll become Mr. Mumbles at some point in the show.
* Tello hung some burlap in his window, but it’s still too bright on him. Lourdes thinks he looks like an angel with all the light on him.
* Number Two Cuz was late to recording the show because she got the call of doody. 
* Lourdes’ bathroom is about 98% complete, and it has a door now.
* Lourdes still has to worry about her Mother-in-Law not closing the bathroom door when she poops.
* Number Two Cuz wanted her Mother-in-Law to feel comfortable enough to shower in Lourdes’ personal shower while she was home because she’s afraid her Mother-in-Law wasn’t showering at all.
* Lourdes’ Mother-in-Law used Number Two Cuz’s towel to dry off when she was done.
* Number Two Cuz found out that Mother-in-Law was using her scrunchie to scrub with in the shower too.
* Lourdes finds it very difficult dealing with her Mother-in-Law living in her house.
* Number Two Cuz isn’t good at taking selfies.
* Lourdes was wearing her Number Two Podcast shirt in public when someone asked her about the podcast. (Shout out to Caleb!)
* Lourdes may not be able to handle any amount of Internet fame.
* Caleb thought Number Two Podcast was number two in the nation, but Tello doesn’t think it’s even number two on his list of favorite podcasts.
* Tello thinks A Little Mas and From the Bronx with Love are way better podcasts than Number Two Podcast.
* Number Two Podcast got a shoutout from @podcastsincolor on twitter.
* Lourdes was excited when her husband Luis wore his Number Two Podcast shirt for the first time.
* Tello got a call from his mom because he didn’t call and wish her a happy father’s day.
* Lourdes doesn’t think their grandfather and uncle or Tello’s brother should count as father figures to Tello.
* Lourdes tells us that her husband had an emotional experience because he felt that he needed a father when he was growing up.
* Tello thinks he’s afraid of deep committed relationships because it might lead to him being a father, and he doesn’t know how to be a father.

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Jul 02, 201851:44
N2P 047: Embarrassing Moments and Fun Nostalgia

N2P 047: Embarrassing Moments and Fun Nostalgia

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* Lourdes ruins the show at the start by texting right during the promo. Then she talks over the intro, and Tello talks over and comments on the intro as well.
* Tello isn’t sure if he got a compliment or not when a friend told him he had a “chest register” voice.
* Number Two Cuz tries to read the definition of “chest register,” but has some difficulty pronouncing some of the words. 
* Tello tries out his “Talk Show Host” voice.
* Tello noticed throughout the day that his voice does seem to come from his chest. When he was singing in the car, he noticed that he did fill strain in his chest when he was done.
* Tello tries singing from his stomach, but his stomach register was full.
* Tello joined a weight loss competition, and he’s been cheating on his diet ever since.
* Number Two Cuz gets scolded for not paying attention during the show.
* Tello’s phone is too old to run a pedometer app.
* There was suspicious activity on Tello’s debit card, and he had to verify some embarrassing purchases. 
* Lourdes had to replace a debit card, and she had problems updating Netflix payments.
* Tello recommended the new season of “Queer Eye” to Number Two Cuz because he was surprised by how much he enjoyed the show.
* Tello’s credit card gets declined at a gas station because the bank didn’t update his address correctly, and Tello has to shamefully ask his friend for gas money.
* The credit card company has trouble validating Tello’s identity, and he has to jump through hoops to verify his identity.
* Tello remembers that his voice comes from his chest because everything he says is from the heart.
* Lourdes ruins a joke Tello is trying to set up, so he sets it up again.
* Tello has a rule about not giving gifts anymore to extended family. Plus Tello doesn’t like to receive gifts because he’ll feel bad when he has to throw it away.
* Lourdes and Tello re-enact Tello’s experience ordering a keto friendly meal from Whataburger. 
* Number Two Cuz talks about reading the first two pages of the Whole 30 diet.
* Lourdes explains that eating can be very emotional.
* Tello talks about sitting in his car eating a Triple Whataburger and fries while listening to a podcast of Kevin Smith and Penn Jillette talking about how losing weight is helping save their lives.
* A friend of Tello’s took him to see The Goonies at a local theater as a belated birthday present. Tello was impressed with the free gifts the theater offered for Goonies lovers.
* Tello loved seeing the movie again, but pointed out that there were a couple of cheesy kid moments. He forgives that because it was a kids’ movie, and it still fun and still makes Tello feel like a kid.
* Lourdes doesn’t have as strong a sense of nostalgia like Tello does.
* Tello and Lourdes start making fun of the way their family pronounces certain words.
* Tello fantasizes what it would be like to be Steven Spielberg’s son, and Tello draws some parallels between their personal lives.
* Tello is amazed at the friendships Spielberg had with other talented filmmakers in their youth, and how they were drawn to one another.
* Tello wants new friends who will inspire him like Steven Spielberg’s group of friends inspired each other.

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Jun 25, 201801:07:40
N2P 046: Return of the Mother-in-Law and Father’s Day Plans

N2P 046: Return of the Mother-in-Law and Father’s Day Plans

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* Tello apologizes for not having a show last week, but with his and Lourdes’ schedules, Number Two Podcast will probably be released inconsistently.
* Tello gets upset when Lourdes drinks her coffee during the show.
* Lourdes talks about a class where she learned to “Listen with Empathy.”
* Tello hates that he doesn’t read more, but he doesn’t try because he has the Internet.
* Tello used to read more when he didn’t have cable or streaming video. 
* Lourdes was a big fan of the 50 Shades of Gray series.
* Number Two Cuz wasn’t really a bad kid because she didn’t have many strict rules.
* Tello stole his mom’s car a couple of times to drive two blocks down the street to his friend’s house.
* Lourdes was less fearful as a younger person, or maybe she was just a dumb kid.
* Number Two Cuz has a bathroom that is about 90% done, but has no door. Guess which family member is using it?
* Lourdes’ mother-in-law mocks her when Lourdes chops food really loudly.
* Number Two Cuz slams the door when she gets really mad.
* Lourdes’ mother-in-law has full conversations in her sleep.
* Lourdes can’t remember ever spending a Father’s day with her dad.
* Lourdes doesn’t think her father knows how to discipline his children.
* Tello remembers when the show used to make them laugh, and now it’s become a place for them to talk about painful childhood memories. Lourdes doesn’t think the memories are painful.
* Number Two Cuz was emotional at her daughters somewhat disastrous graduation.
* Big Luis’ phone told him that it wasn’t going to rain, but big drops of rain started falling. Lourdes and Tello’s niece got soaked.
* By the end of the night, most everything calmed down and the graduates had a good time.
* Lourdes’ son could graduate a year early, but Tello thinks he should graduate on time so he can mentally and emotionally mature.
* The graduation prevented Tello and Lourdes from recording a podcast last week. Tello thought of doing one alone, but he was too scared and lazy to do it.
* There was a “La Marta” sighting at the graduation party despite her invitation being sent to a completely different city.
* Lourdes derails the show by asking what the pointy fang like teeth are called.
* Tello and Lourdes talk about how country they sometimes sound, and then they talk about how their parents butcher the language.
* Lourdes and Tello talk about the regional words that confused them when they were growing up. Words like pop, ice box, and light bill.
* Tello remembers how giant eighth graders looked when he was in kindergarten.
* Lourdes is short, and she doesn’t like men who are shorter than she is.
* Lourdes thinks Tello should only date women who are shorter than he is.
* Tello wants to date 6 foot women just to spite Number Two Cuz.
* Number Two Cuz gets distracted by her broken finger nail.
* Tello wants people to support the show by buying a shirt, but he admits that the design is really ugly.

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Jun 18, 201801:13:19
N2P 045: Darkness From The Theater

N2P 045: Darkness From The Theater

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* Number Two cuz makes Tello self-conscious about his thinning hair.
* Lourdes and her family took a trip to Mexico, but had some difficulty on the way there.
* Luis bought a newer family vehicle, and Lourdes had trouble starting it.
* Tello reminisces about his previous vehicles.
* Tello received an invitation to Pila’s graduation, and he remembers when she was just a baby with a lot of curly hair.
* Lourdes was too lazy to deliver an invitation to “La Marta”, so instead she sent it to Tello’s niece (La Marta’s daughter) who lives in a different city.
* Lourdes plays the alphabet game with her family on their road trip, and she finds her letter on something that’s not so family friendly.
* Tello saw Solo: A Star Wars Story. Tello loved Chewbacca and Lando the best.
* Tello also got to see a theatrical exhibition of the Martin Scorsese classic Taxi Driver.
* Tello gives a recap of the film and talks about how he felt after seeing it for the first time on a big screen.
* Lourdes and Tello wonder if a film like Taxi Driver could be made today.
* Tello invites Robert DeNiro to be on Number Two Podcast.

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Jun 04, 201801:05:30
N2P 044: Squatching and Taking Saintly Advice

N2P 044: Squatching and Taking Saintly Advice

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* Tello spots a Little Foot that Number Two Cuz renames to PiaPoot (for potential legal reasons.
* Number Two Cuz tells Tello about some work friends who hunt for Bigfoot.
* Tello explains what Squatching is.
* Number Two Cuz and Tello take a moment to recognize another school shooting that hit them a little closer to home.
* Tello resumes the squatching conversation.
* Tello talks about some advice he found from Saint Padre Pio.
* Lourdes gets a prank played on her by her mom.
* Director Tello comes out a couple of times to improve a couple of jokes on the show.

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May 28, 201801:04:46
N2P 043: Mother’s Day Mishaps

N2P 043: Mother’s Day Mishaps

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* The Campfyrepod affiliate promo was interrupted by a Littlefoot sighting.
* Number Two Cuz starts the show off with technical difficulties.
* Tello has a disclaimer that there might be noise from his side of the podcast today.
* Number Two Cuz still can’t say no to babysitting.
* Tello is concerned about his thinning hair.
* Lourdes laments having random hair growing on her face.
* Tello busts out in an impromptu rendition of the Cheers theme song. 
* Number Two Cuz has more technical difficulties, and Tello plays a little prank.
* Lourdes talks about the podcast that Tello recorded with his Mom on Mother’s Day.
* Tello interrupts Lourdes several times while she tries to explain what Tello recorded.
* Tello didn’t appreciate Marva forcing her way onto the podcast – especially with such short notice.
* Lourdes overslept on Mother’s Day and missed church.
* Number Two Cuz’s plans didn’t quite work out on Mother’s Day.
* Lourdes’ children gave her a memory book for Mother’s day.
* Tello admires the artistic talent of Number Two Cuz.
* Tello got to spend time with his mother over Mother’s Day weekend.
* Tello’s taste buds seem to have changed since he’s started his Keto Diet.
* Lourdes and Tello play the audio from the podcast Tello recorded with his mom.
* The show is interrupted a few times by some loud drain pipes.
* Mama Tello once worked at a hotel, and she found herself in a precarious situation.
* Tello wonders how his mother got the reputation for being a world-class weed smoker.
* Mama Tello thinks that Lourdes and her sisters should be more understanding with their “Deer Mother.”
* Martha can’t have an adult conversation with her mother because her mom is too close-minded.
* Tello saved the family from a potential sausage fire.
* Mama Tello spent months without a bed when she was raising Tello and his brother.
* Tello recalls the time he had to re-arrange his mother’s bedroom three times before settling on the look she liked.
* Tello grew up in a creeky old house.
* Mama Tello thought someone was in her house, but it turned out to be something much different.
* Tello’s old house was hit by a truck once.
* Martha grew up as a wild child, and thanks Mama Tello for being a mother to her and giving her the discipline she really needed.

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May 21, 201801:10:28
N2P 042: Married Strangers

N2P 042: Married Strangers

* Number Two Cuz starts the show off by reminding people not to fact check her because she accidentally gave out some wrong information on episode 40.
* A noise distracts Lourdes during her announcement.
* Tello ponders if the noise would have made a sound if no one was around.
* Lourdes realizes her marriage is almost old enough to drink alcohol.
* Number Two Cuz doesn’t think she knows her husband.
* Lourdes’ husband Luis doesn’t like all the time she spends with her laptop.
* Lourdes feels like her husband sometimes acts like her fourth child.
* Number Two Cuz feels like she has become a “Mother with Benefits” to her husband.
* Tello diagnosis Luis with an Oedipus Complex, but admits that he’s not qualified make that diagnosis. 
* Lourdes is afraid that her husband might lie to her about things.
* Number Two Cuz tells a terrible story about a coworker who has a small container of cement to heal her toothache. Tello hated the story.
* Number Two Cuz causes some technical difficulties.
* Lourdes is supposed to be babysitting her great nephew, but instead she has her daughter babysitting him instead.
* Tello tries to teach Lourdes to say, “No.”
* Tello complains that his eyesight has gotten worse since he recently turned 40.
* Tello doesn’t want to get bifocals because it makes him feel old.
* Number Two Cuz suggests that Tello get lasik surgery.
* Tello is feeling better since he’s lost some weight.
* Lourdes still thinks Tello’s mom is a pothead.
* Luis accidentally interrupts the show.
* Lourdes is still fantasizing about getting cosmetic surgery, but she doesn’t want to spend $25,000.
* Number Two Cuz found out the difference between a cosmetic surgeon and a plastic surgeon, but she’s not sure which was which.
* Lourdes found a Brazilian buttlift advertisement from Nicaragua.
* Number Two Cuz can’t pronounce Nicaragua.
* Tello enjoyed the first two episodes of Cobra Kai – the long awaited sequel to The Karate Kid.
* A baby interrupts Tello’s story with heavy breathing.
* Tello continues his recap of the first two episodes of Cobra Kai, and he highly recommends the show.
* During his time with no Internet, Tello saw Ready Player One.
* Lourdes confuses Steven Spielberg with Stephen King.
* Tello enjoyed the movie, but it fell a little short for his expectations.
* Tello wants to honor Steven Spielberg because he is one of his favorite filmmakers.
* Tello goes off on a rant about what a great actor Leonardo DiCaprio has become since he’s been working with legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese.
* Watching The Wolf of Wall Street was an uncomfortable experience for Tello when he saw it with his mom and niece.

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May 14, 201801:09:29
N2P 041: Tello Returns!

N2P 041: Tello Returns!

* Tello is back, and he’s been without Internet for more than a month.
* Tello complains that he is being overlit by the window light at his new place.
* Number Two Cuz teases Tello for not paying his Internet bill, but Tello explains the real situation.
* Tello doesn’t like having roommates at the age of 40.
* Lourdes tries to compare her family to having roommates.
* Number Two Cuz thinks Tello should have done the podcast from the public library.
* Tello thinks he is part horder because of his “upside down WOW.”
* Lourdes thinks her “WOW” hordes stuff too. It started with big garbage bags, and now it’s crates full of stuff.
* Tello doesn’t think you should argue with someone’s feelings.
* Lourdes thinks it’s ok for a man to cry, but Tello explains the reasons why most men are afraid to be that vulnerable.
* Tello has more trouble crying at real life sadness than he does at sad movies.
* Lourdes cried when her younger daughter went to prom because that is her last daughter, and she had trouble managing her feelings.
* Number Two Cuz talks about the difference between other families’ prom photos compared to her family prom photos.
* Tello didn’t like the advice his cousin’s gave last show about not necessarily finishing high school.
* Tello also thinks parents should respect their children’s privacy.
* Number Two Cuz has tried to respect her kids’ privacy, unless she thought they might be in danger. She noticed that her son didn’t like her using his phone.
* Number Two Cuz thinks younger children should be monitored more with their use of technology.
* Tello thinks his cousins did a great job with the last show.

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May 07, 201851:57
N2P 040: Sister, Sister, Sister
Apr 23, 201851:37
N2P 039: Easter and Other Family Gatherings

N2P 039: Easter and Other Family Gatherings

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* Lourdes and Tello are together in Number Two Cuz’s studio recording the day after Easter.
* Before Easter, the family had a birthday party for Lourdes’ niece. Things got a little awkward when Lourdes’ father showed up to the party.
* Tello pauses the story to keep from rushing into the main stories of the show.
* Lourdes and Tello realize the episode number is the same as their age.
* Tello recalls a story that Number Two Cuz told about having stretch marks that she’s not happy with, but that she would still rather have plastic surgery on her butt.
* Tello saw underwear similar to Lourdes’ shapeshifting underwear, and he was really uncomfortable about the whole situation.
* Number Two Cuz feels better about herself with the shapeshifting underwear.
* Lourdes talks about how awkward things got at the birthday party when her father showed up. Tello almost didn’t recognize him because Lourdes’ father is so old and short now.
* Tello wanted to interview Number Two Cuz’s dad for the podcast, but Lourdes wouldn’t let him. Tello wants to confront her father about an incident that happened when he was a child. Someone smeared cake frosting all over Tello’s glasses, and Tello believe Lourdes’ father had something to do with it.
* Tello wants to challenge Lourdes’ father to a fight. Since he’s diabetic, Tello’s plan is to throw a cake in his face and cut his toe.
* Lourdes admits that her father doesn’t take good care of himself or his medical conditions.
* Lourdes thinks that her father might actually apologize if he was in fact guilty of frosting Tello’s glasses.
* Tello recalls playing a trick on Luis (Lourdes’ husband) where he filled a shot glass with apple cider vinegar. That night Tello got so drunk he passed out and woke up in his underwear.
* Fave Cuz and Number Two Cuz’s father don’t get along, but their kids had a great time playing with each other in the swimming pool.
* Tello cheated on his diet because he couldn’t resist the Italian food at the party. Tello wasn’t expecting there to be Keto friendly food at the party, but there was.
* The family had a bootleg looking Mickey Mouse piñata at the party.
* The piñata fell a few times, and the kids really beat him up – even when he had fallen down to the ground.
* Mickey’s crotch was torn up from the short kids hitting upward at him.
* Tello didn’t like the piñata stick because it was dirty and looked like it was full of splinters.
* Tello was tempted by piñata candy when he saw his favorite on the ground.
* Lourdes celebrated a house warming with people whose trailer was damaged in Hurricane Harvey.
* Tello thinks the people should move out of a trailer for their own good.
* Tello wonders if Lourdes had a religious experience on Easter Sunday.
* Lourdes’ experience gave her the strength to attend a family gathering for Easter.
* Tello is sarcastic about Aunt Mary being prepared for the Easter party.
* Fave Cuz Phoebe still gets an Easter basket from Tello’s mom.
* Number Two Cuz remembers that Aunt Gloria used to make a Christmas stocking for Fave Cuz Phoebe, but Lourdes remember Phoebe leaving the stockings behind.
* Fave Cuz Phoebe claims that Tello’s mom has willed that Tello will have to take over making her Easter Basket when Tello’s mom passes away.
* Number Two Cuz saw photos of Phoebe with another Easter basket from home.
* Lourdes received a critique from her sis-in-law Angie that she falls asleep while listening to the podcast.
* Number Two Cuz accused her sister Phoebe of not bringing any food to the Ea...
Apr 09, 201801:01:43
N2P 038: Poopy Mittens and Using Your Talents

N2P 038: Poopy Mittens and Using Your Talents

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* Tello pulls the curtain back a bit and reveals that this show was the second show recorded that day so that they can be prepared for Easter weekend.
* Tello talks about the dysfunctional messages that he and Number Two Cuz send to each other, including notifying each other of pooping.
* Lourdes is frustrated with having only one working restroom in their house with 5 people in it.
* Tello accidentally discovered a product on Amazon called “Shittens” which are disposable mitten shaped moist wipes.
* Tello reads some funny questions and answers for that people asked about the disposable wipes.
* Lourdes wonders why some people don’t have trash cans in their restrooms. Tello thinks they have trash cans in their restrooms because they grew up poor with bad plumbing.
* Tello reveals where the name of the podcast came from.
* Lourdes feels bad sometimes for not being the Fave Cuz.
* Tello reveals that Lourdes’ sister Lupe feels like she’s lost Lourdes to the Num Two Pod.
* Lourdes is kind of like a therapist to Lupe and Tello.
* Tello and Number Two Cuz used to talk on the phone almost every day.
* Lourdes and Tello might be best friends, but that’s not necessarily a good thing.
* Tello remembers a life changing conversation he had with Lourdes when he was debating whether or not to move back to Texas to use his talents to pursue his goals.
* Tello wondered if not using your talent is a sin.
* Tello moved back to Texas because he was unhappy with his previous job, and where his professional and personal life was heading.
* Lourdes might have good life advice, but she doesn’t have great decorating advice. 
* Number Two’s mom was not happy with the decorating advice that Lourdes gaver her sister Lupe.
* Lourdes isn’t good for financial advice either.
* Tello received a sort of confirmation when he saw a tweet from the Pope that read, “We all possess God-given talents. No one can claim to be so poor that they have nothing to offer others.” 
* Tello remembers a time when he was living with his Fave Cuz Phoebe, and her dog set a used hygiene product on Tello’s stomach.
* Tello isn’t 100% happy with his living situation, but he’s happier now than he was in his previous career.
* Lourdes interprets a poem correctly, but she thinks her teacher accused her of looking up the meaning of the poem.
* Number Two Cuz remembers writing poems when she was younger, and she decorated her walls with the poems.
* Tello remembers when Fave Cuz Phoebe submitted entries to a writing contest under all her and her sisters’ names. She won, but under her sister’s name.
* Lourdes’ son did a terrible job recording a video of Number Two Cuz giving a speech for a homework assignment.
* Tello wishes he could do the video work for Number Two Cuz’s speech assignments because he would make it higher in production value.
* Tello has great ideas for filming Lourdes’ speeches for class.
* Lourdes thinks that being a good listener and helping people is her talent that she can offer to others.
* Number Two Cuz has a “great idea” right when the closing music begins.

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Apr 02, 201801:08:46
N2P 037: Piloncillo Pudding, Late Brunches, and Comfy Shoes

N2P 037: Piloncillo Pudding, Late Brunches, and Comfy Shoes

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* Tello and Lourdes had to postpone their original recording plans because there was a house full of relatives.
* Lourdes had five nieces and nephews staying over the night that Tello and she wanted to record. One of the kids was a crying six month old.
* Number Two Cuz tried to use the crying baby as an example to her daughters as to what to expect from motherhood.
* Tello cancels the parent trivia contest because he felt that the audio was too boring.
* Tello did get some audio of their respective mothers giving them warm wishes for the one year Podcast-iversary.
* Tello teases that Lourdes’ mom hasn’t been listening to the show while his mother has listened to every episode.
* Lourdes still gets nervous around their parents, but Tello thinks they are old enough to not be so threatening.
* Tello wonders if Number Two Cuz feels like an adult, or if she is just an older version of the child she used to be.
* Tello usually only feels like an adult when he has to stop a child from doing something that might hurt them. When Tello visits his high school friends, he feels like a teenager again picking up from where they left off – even though they already have children.
* Lourdes feels young, but if she ever feels like she’s dressing too young with her daughters, she’ll change so people know that she’s the parent.
* Tello plays a clip of the conversation that he and Lourdes were able to record before calling it quits because of the crying baby.
* Tello reads the Wikipedia definition for panocha, which is a type of pudding. 
* Lourdes is convinced that the “Vulva” is the name of a car company…until she looks up the definition.
* Number Two Cuz has some difficulty pronouncing some of the words in the definition, but Tello assures her that her mispronunciation is part of the charm of the show.
* Lourdes doesn’t know the meaning of Labia Majora either.
* Number Two Cuz is concerned about her small vocabulary.
* Tello tries to trip up Lourdes by using the word “pragmatic.”
* Lourdes has trouble seeing her computer without her contact lenses, and Tello needs his glasses to see his phone.
* Lourdes got nervous going to the dentist, and the dentist had to remove a “beaver” tooth from her mouth.
* Lourdes was having difficulty swallowing after the dentist numbed her mouth.
* Tello is unhappy with his underbite, but the price of getting it fixed is between $67K and $97K total.
* Tello had brunch with Fave Cuz Phoebe at 12:30 PM.
* Tello arrived late, but got his food before Phoebe. Tello couldn’t help but rub that fact in her face.
* The restaurant took so long to bring Phoebe’s food that she angrily decided to take the food to go instead of eating with everyone else.
* Phoebe had a $200 date night to see a clown comedian she didn’t enjoy.
* Tello tried to convince Fave Cuz Phoebe to pay $60 to paint a portrait of her friend’s dog.
* Lourdes doesn’t like raw onions, and her waiter tries to convince her that she’ll barely be able to taste them in the guacamole.
* One of Lourdes’ coworkers tries to convince her that she won’t be able to taste the onions in a chicken salad sandwich. Lourdes at the sandwich, but couldn’t taste the onions.
* Tello has friends who don’t like cilantro because it tastes like soap to them.
* Lourdes found a great, comfortable pair of sneakers, but in trying to buy a backup pair, she found the prices to be way too expensive.
* Lourdes asks for listeners to donate Fit Flop shoes to her so she doesn’t have to pay so much (women’s size 6).
* Tello thinks Number Two Cuz’s feet look like little bricks, and because of her weird shaped feet, she has developed bunions.

Mar 26, 201801:05:25
N2P 036: One Year Podcast-iversary

N2P 036: One Year Podcast-iversary

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* The show is immediately disrupted when Lourdes’ daughter tries to sneak across the room to get to the bathroom.<br />
* Almost immediately after the first interruption, the show is interrupted by a train whistle on Lourdes’ side of the conversation.<br />
* Tello plays a funny phone call that he recorded with his Aunt Mary (Lourdes’ mom). <br />
* Lourdes and Tello talk about Lourdes’ pronunciation of a certain word, and try and figure out where that accent comes from.<br />
* Number Two Cuz talks about her trip to Mexico, and why Num Two Pod couldn’t record last week.<br />
* Lourdes still hasn’t seen Coco.<br />
* Number Two Cuz is surprised and freaked out to see what great health and spirits her mother-in-law was in when she visited her in Mexico.<br />
* Tello accuses Lourdes of being disappointed that her mother-in-law didn’t look more sickly when she saw her.<br />
* Lourdes was suffering from PMS on the trip, and Tello explained that Lourdes suffers from PMS two weeks before and two weeks after her cycle.<br />
* Number Two Cuz asked a woman to quit tagging her husband in facebook photos. Now she has awkward encounters with this woman. Tello asks more about this woman and finds out she’s a GILF.<br />
* Tello makes some jokes about spending time with the GILF.<br />
* Lourdes is experiencing passive aggressive behavior from a coworker who has been bringing donuts for everyone in the office except Lourdes.<br />
* Tello talks about his fantasy to be a more aggressive than passive aggressive person.<br />
* Despite her hurt and angry feelings, Lourdes didn’t do anything about the behavior she was experiencing. <br />
* Tello suggested that Number Two Cuz buy some Mexican pastries to share with the office, including the passive aggressive woman as an olive branch of peace.<br />
* Little Luis was sick this week, and woke up vomiting. The doctor initially thought he had a twisted nut, but that was not the case. <br />
* Tello recounts the time he and some friends formed a fake band called “Twisted Nut.”<br />
* Little Luis had to have his private parts examined by the doctor. Lourdes left to grab some coffee, but when she returned, Luis had thrown up again. Luckily for Number Two Cuz, the nurse had cleaned it up.<br />
* Lourdes considered not getting her son’s medicine since he was feeling better, but when he wasn’t feeling well again, she filled his prescription.<br />
* Number Two Cuz accidentally told her son to swallow the medicine instead of letting it dissolve under his tongue like the instructions demanded.<br />
* Pretty much everyone in the house caught Little Luis’ virus.<br />
* Tello talks about the last prescription he remembers getting had to be taken with food. If not, it could’ve burned a hole in his stomach.<br />
* Tello has a hard time pronouncing Spanish words correctly. And Lourdes teases him for sounding unnatural.<br />
* Mexicans had some very big wins at this year’s Oscars.<br />
* While Tello searches for Guillermo Del Toro’s Oscar speech, Lourdes talks about needing a pedicure.<br />
* Tello reads Guillermo Del Toro’s Oscar speech that he thought was very touching, and how he is inspired by other Hispanic artists.<br />
* Lourdes has a problem pronouncing “Jiu Jitsu”<br />
* Tello has lost 43 lbs on his Keto Diet since the beginning of 2018.<br />
* Lourdes talks about how much weight the virus in their house has caused them to lose.<br />
* Tello talked about how much weight he lost when he used to deliver mail, and what a mostly liquid diet did to his digestive system.<br />
* Tello talks about an incident when he thought he just had to fart, but it may have been a little something extra since he was drinking so much water.<br />
* Lourdes talks about inexplicably finding racing stripes in her underwear.<br />
* Number Three Cousin, Lupe, stopped by to visit for a moment, and so did her daughter.
Mar 19, 201801:14:06
N2P 035: Police Encounters and Questionable Activities with Special Guest Danielle

N2P 035: Police Encounters and Questionable Activities with Special Guest Danielle

* Tello wants to confirm with Lourdes what she counts as the beginning of Number Two Podcast: the first episode they uploaded to YouTube, or the first time they had an official podcast feed. Lourdes counts the first time they uploaded to YouTube which means that March 9th will be the one year anniversary of Number Two Podcast.
* Lourdes and Tello are joined by special guest Danielle (Tello’s niece).
* As usual, Number Two Cuz starts talking about number two stories. Little Luis asked his mom to smell the bathroom after he pooped because he didn’t think it stunk.
* Lourdes begins describing a new healthy recipe she tried which included asparagus, and Tello gets sidetracked on how asparagus makes his pee smell. Lourdes is unaware of this phenomenon.
* Danielle admits that her pee sometimes smells like coffee; Lourdes admits that her urine sometimes smells like coffee too. Tello is in shock because he’s not a coffee drinker and is unfamiliar with that phenomenon. 
* Lourdes claims that the women’s restroom at work sometimes smells like a fresh brewed pot of coffee.
* Tello asks Number Two Cuz to pull the microphone closer because she’s too far away.
* Tello reveals to the audience that Danielle’s mother is none other than Martha (a.k.a. Marva), friend/enemy of the show.
* Family members are complaining about the price of Number Two Podcast shirts, but that’s the cheapest price Tello can price them. They’re currently on sale for $12.99 each (
* Lourdes continues with her healthy soup recipe with chicken broth. Tello suggests using bone broth instead for its health properties and taste.
* Tello’s skin has been breaking out recently. Lourdes thinks it’s from the high fat Keto diet, but Tello retorts with his usual witty manner. Lourdes suggested Tello quit eating so much fat.
* Lourdes asks Danielle if and how she has managed conflict in her workplace.
* Danielle admits that she’s a good employee and easy to get along with, so she’s never had to deal with such issues in the workplace.
* Tello suspects that this is a loaded question that is really about Lourdes.
* Tello talks about a prior job where he had to sell shoes where he didn’t enjoy putting people’s shoes on them unless they were pretty women with nice feet.
* Lourdes doesn’t know which phrase is correct: “a rule of thumb,” or “a thumb of rule.”
* Tello tries desperately to convince her that the correct phrase is “a thumb of rule.”
* Danielle talks about her stressful situation when she and her friends recently got pulled over by police. Three police cars showed up for a driver who allegedly was doing 10 miles over the speed limit.
* Tello suggested that anytime you are pulled over, you should turn on your dome light and put your hands where the police can see them so they know you are not a threat to them. This is not just for their safety, but for the driver’s and passenger’s’ safety too.
* Tello talks about how he always feels nervous any time he is pulled over by police. Recently Tello was recently pulled over, and in nervous confusion, Tello handed the policeman his debit card instead of his license. The policeman responded that he didn’t accept Visa.
* Lourdes daughters accidentally interrupt the show because they were teaching Priscila how to drive.
* Priscila is having problems with oversteering.
* Lourdes talks about hearing random gunshots in her neighborhood, but she has no ending for that story.
* Lourdes bought an “A La Muerte” shirt to support the show, but it reminds her daughter of the Mexican saying “A La V***a” which has a dirty translation of “weiner” in it.
* The conversation gets further sidetracked as Lourdes tries to give Spanish translations for a woman’s private parts.
* Tello talks about his heartbreak about not be...
Mar 05, 201801:20:40
N2P 034: Food Stamps, Escaping the Escape Room, and Stupid Dad Jokes

N2P 034: Food Stamps, Escaping the Escape Room, and Stupid Dad Jokes

* Number Two Cuz starts the show, and immediately has to leave the show to grab something.
* Tello talks smack behind Lourdes’ back while she’s gone.
* Lourdes got a fortune that read, “You always have the right answers, they just sometimes ask the wrong questions. Tello thinks that is the best description he’s ever heard of Number Two Cuz.
* Tello searched for an old fortune in his wallet, but instead found an old food stamp from his childhood.
* Lourdes and Tello fondly (and not so fondly) recount childhood memories of being on welfare and using food stamps. Tello holds on to one as a reminder of a time when his family hit rough times; a time to which Tello hopes to never return.
* Number Two Cuz briefly mentions her conspiracy theory regarding welfare reform, but don’t fact check her.
* Tello reminds Lourdes that they are quickly sneaking up on episode 50, and he would like a golden anniversary gift.
* Lourdes admits to selfishly being happy that her daughter Pila didn’t place at the state tournament she competed in. 
* Pila broke the bad news to the family in a group chat which morphed into a competition of who woke up earlier that morning.
* Tello offers words of encouragement – in his own way.
* Lourdes’ husband wants to plan a vacation to Florida even though they won’t be going there for their daughter’s competition.
* Tello calls out Number Two Cuz for not sending photos and videos that she was supposed to send so Tello could update
* Tello tells Lourdes that she’ll stop feeling like a failure when she stops acting like one.
* Tello talks about how food is affecting his body now that he’s getting older. Garlic from a salad he ate for lunch and dinner gave him painful gas until he was able to crawl into bed and start farting.
* Lourdes is disgusted by Tello’s farts, but Tello is disgusted by Lourdes’ phlegmy throat.
* Number Two Cuz talks about her new blender and the healthy recipes she’s making with it using butternut or “better nut” squash.
* It took Lourdes longer than the specified 30 to 45 minutes to complete the recipe, so she wasn’t able to eat her healthy soup the same night she made it.
*  Number Two Cuz tries to tempt Tello to eat meat on Fridays during Lent, but Tello misunderstands her suggestion.
* Lourdes shares her healthy soup with her mother and cousins Julie and Agustin, but only Lourdes seemed to enjoy her healthy cooking.
* Number Two Cuz confuses “purify” and “puree.”
* Lourdes suggests a new healthy soup for Tello to try.
* Tello and Lourdes aren’t sure what celery root is.
* Lourdes thinks the “Vegetti” is related to female anatomy, and Tello plays along for a bit.
* Tello explains to the audience what zoodles are.
* Tello tried to make noodle-less Pho, but instead just made soup. It tasted more than kind of good.
* Tello visited an escape room with some friends, and had one hour to try and solve clues that would free them from the room.
* The escape room was a music themed room where all the clues are music related. Tello and his friends played the part of thieves working for a hacker who discovered that there was a lost, unreleased Aerosmith recording that they had to retrieve in order to escape the room. 
* Tello was really impressed by the setup and engineering of the escape room.
* Lourdes and Tello imagine how funny it would be if they got their family to work together to escape an escape room.
* Tello and Lourdes plan a few potential Easter games.
* Tello laments how kids today don’t have the killer instinct to rush for pinata candy they way his generation did.
* Tello remembers an incident at a school Halloween party when he lost his candy while breaking a pinata.
* Lourdes thinks she’s a bad mother because she d...
Feb 26, 201801:04:06
N2P 033: Birthday Gifts and Unexpected Guests

N2P 033: Birthday Gifts and Unexpected Guests

* Number Two Cuz starts off by complaining about working so much. 
* Tello is reminded of a scene from Dumb and Dumber and Lourdes has another favorite scene.
* Lourdes has some technical difficulties that Tello requests she fix.
* Number Two Cuz still loves her butterfly clips.
* Tello is amazed that Lourdes has stuck around for 33 episodes.
*  Lourdes is supporting the show by buying some of our new Number Two Podcast T-shirts.
* Tello thinks his design is ugly, but he still hopes people will support the show by buying these shirts.
* Number Two Cuz critiques the design and points out that Tello doesn’t have a nose in the image.
* We got an Instagram shout out from From The Bronx With Love podcast.
* Number Two Cuz got a review from Fave Cuz Phoebe, but she can’t remember what the review was.
* Lourdes had trouble finding her husband a birthday gift.
* Number Two Cuz considered buying some kiosk earrings from the mall, but the first pair were too cheap for her husband’s taste.
* The second pair of earrings Lourdes saw were 100 times as expensive.
* Lourdes found a third pair within her budget, but they were so small that she was afraid they would fall through his ears.
* Number Two Cuz didn’t buy a gift for her husband’s birthday.
* Lourdes planned the worst most obvious “Surprise,” for Luis’ birthday.
* Number Two Cuz has problems trying to wink.
* Tello had an unexpected guest that his roommate brought to the house, and there is a lot of luggage that comes with her.
* The “guest” was a young, dumb teenage stripper who thought she knew how the world works, but clearly has no idea.
*  Number Two Cuz talks about why she could not have been a stripper in her younger days.
* Tello tried to take some time to offer this young girl some good advice, but she was too concerned with how a photo of her looked.
* Tello’s roommate was beginning to regret her decision to help this girl on the third or fourth night of the extended stay. 
* After Tello’s tale of horror dealing with the unwanted houseguest, a train whistle on Lourdes’ side interrupts the show.
* Tello unleashes a slew of sound effects to answer the train sound.
* Tello talks about how he “considered” stripping during his college years to make extra money.
* Tello had to replace his comb because he found unknown blond hair in it.
* Number Two Cuz has a friend who might be moving too fast in the dating scene.
* Lourdes thinks she may have ruined this friend’s Valentine by giving her some unwanted advice.
* Tello decided not to send flowers to his crush for Valentine’s Day because he was afraid it might come off as creepy.
* Tello asks the listeners to send their horror houseguest stories.

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Feb 19, 201801:14:54
N2P 032:  Pizza Problems, Vegas Lemonade, and Tello’s Keto Diet Update

N2P 032: Pizza Problems, Vegas Lemonade, and Tello’s Keto Diet Update

* Number Two Cuz starts the show off with another warning that construction is still going on in the house, and that there will be lots of noise in the background.
* Big Luis made lots of noise in the background at the top of the show, and Tello and Number Two Cuz think it might be passive aggressive behavior.
* Tello has been obsessed with chiropractor videos.
* Tello tries to reset his deviated septum that got worse from all the times he got punched in the face.
* Lourdes and Tello discuss the real episode where Wile E. Coyote caught the Roadrunner.
* Fave Cuz Phoebe has an obsession with earwax cleanings. Lourdes is disgusted by them, but tell can see the satisfaction of watching them.
* Lourdes also talked about her sister’s obsession with scabs and smelling gross things.
* Tello stops the show because “The Yard Man” is making lots of noise outside.
* Lourdes is called to her daughter’s school because she is being threatened with suspension for having a pizza delivered to her classroom.
* Pila joins the show to give a first hand experience of the Pizza incident.
* It’s been difficult for Pila to share one restroom with the rest of the family.
* Pila is annoyed that her brother doesn’t put the toilet seat down after using the restroom, but Tello explains that men constantly have to deal with the seat to make sure it’s up or down depending on peeing or pooping. 
* Lourdes got some reassurance from her Fave Sister Phoebe that she hasn’t had any strokes in her childhood.
* Number Two Cuz had a little too much “Vegas Lemonade” even though she has publicly warned of the dangers of drinking too much.
* Lourdes missed out on a show because she was so inebriated in Vegas. 
* Number Two Cuz was surprised at the notorious elements in Vegas.
* Lourdes wasn’t comfortable taking photos of the Vegas dancers, but her brother-in-law had no problem filming them until his wife put a stop to it.
* Lourdes didn’t take photos or video like she said she would.
* Number Two Cuz didn’t go broke gambling, so she counts that as a win.
* Lourdes visited a bar that was poker in the front and liquor in the rear.
* Tello is grossed out by hotel rooms.
* Number Two Cuz has a lot of weird rules about behavior, hygiene, and cleanliness. 
* Tello is germphobic and doesn’t like to eat from bowls of chips.
* Lourdes doesn’t like heavy breathers.
* Number Two Cuz is using charcoal toothpaste that turns her teeth black.
* Lourdes doesn’t like dealing with her mustache.
* Tello has a health update on his current weight loss.
* Lourdes had a frog in her throat that interrupts the show.
* Tello is almost halfway to his weight loss goal for the year.
* Tello misses hamburger buns the most on his Ketogenic diet.
* Lourdes and Tello don’t like the smell of cauliflower, but Tello has had to eat more of it since he’s been on his new diet.
* Lourdes suggest squashes as a pasta replacement.
* Number Two Cuz thinks Tello is starving himself when he intermittently fasts.
* Tello makes inappropriate jokes about stretch videos.
* Lourdes still doesn’t have any lyrics to the outgoing theme song.

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Feb 13, 201858:57
N2P 031: The Shape of Water, Family Guests, and a Little Nostalgia

N2P 031: The Shape of Water, Family Guests, and a Little Nostalgia

* Number Two Cuz is still having construction done on her house, so she warns that we may hear some background noise AGAIN.
* Lourdes talks about an online speech class that requires her to upload videos for assignments. Her assignment requires no background noise, but just like the podcast, she has to warn the class that there will be background construction noise.
* Number Two Cuz had to use logos to describe herself for homework, and there’s one surprising logo she’ll be using for her hobbies.
* Tello and Lourdes talk about the boiled egg smell from a local refinery near Lourdes’ college campus.
* Number Two Cuz brings the show down with her depressing story of alcohol awareness. It’s an important message for all young people to hear.
* Tello wants to know why Lourdes’ eyes look so dark.
* Tello professes his love for Guillermo Del Toro and his latest film “The Shape of Water.”
* Tello is so in awe of Guillermo Del Toro’s talent that he feels discouraged in his own abilities because he knows he will never be as good as GDT.
* Lourdes and Tello talk about whether the Coyote ever caught The Road Runner in the old Looney Tunes cartoons.
* Number Two Cuz had some family stay overnight, and it might have been more of an inconvenience than Lourdes expected.
* Lourdes’ daughter interrupts the show to brush her teeth.
* Andrea, her husband, and their children stayed the night at Lourdes’ house after Andrea imbibed some cleansing tea.
* Number Two Cuz rushes her husband through his shower because her sister Andrea had to poop really badly.
* Lourdes, Andrea, and their husbands are taking a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate Andrea’s 40th birthday.
* Fave Cuz Phoebe is going to Vegas, and she’s going to be the tour guide. Phoebe likes taking people to Vegas for their first time because it makes her feel like it’s her first time too.
* Number Two Cuz and Tello talk briefly about Madonna’s “Like A Virgin.”
* Tello and Lourdes take an impromptu nostalgic trip back to the 80s and talk about Trapper Keepers.
* The show is interrupted by Lourdes’ son and her oldest daughter.
* Tello confesses to having a picture of Alyssa Milano taped to the inside of his Trapper Keeper.
* Tello encourages Lourdes to get a Trapper Keeper for her college classes.
* Pila interrupts the podcast again, but she learns what a Trapper Keeper is.
* Pila teaches the show a new slang word – Shook.
* Tello and Lourdes talk about slang words from their youth that her kids don’t know about.
* The show continues to be interrupted as there is currently only one working restroom in Lourdes’ house since the other one is being worked on.
* Little Luis makes a short visit.
* Lourdes plans to check out a couple of shows in Vegas so she doesn’t spend too much on gambling.

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Feb 05, 201801:09:46
N2P 030:  Clean Teeth and Speeding Tickets

N2P 030: Clean Teeth and Speeding Tickets

* Number Two Cuz accidentally brushed her teeth with someone else’s toothbrush
* Tello talks about how very old he was for his first dentist appointment, and how that affected his teeth cleaning habits.
* Tello announces that there is a video portion for Number Two Podcast available at:
* Tello’s brother, Tony, gave Lourdes a hard time for her greying hair, and it troubled Lourdes.
* Lourdes tells Tello that his niece is going by a new, random name.
* Tello talks about how his grey hair has affected him.
* Lourdes laments that she looked like a little boy when she was younger.
* Number Two Cuz points out Tello’s thinning hair.
* Lourdes had to read “Baywolf” (Beowulf) for class, but she misunderstood the assignment.
* Tello visited some friends from high school because his friend’s oldest child is joining the US Army. While he was there, Tello allowed himself to cheat on his diet, and boy did he cheat!
* Tello is looking forward to his 40s, but Lourdes doesn’t seem as enthusiastic.
* Tello might have eaten 20 cookies when he visited his friends, and an uncountable number of egg rolls.
* Tello recalls a story of when he had dinner with his friends when they were teenagers, and how many egg rolls he ate when he was first introduced to them.
* Tello gained weight from his visit, but he weighed himself to see how much weight he lost after making a twozy.
* On his way home, Tello got a speeding ticket in a small Texas town.
* Number Two Cuz shares some safety tips about the flu.
* Tello compares the flu symptoms with dance fever.
* Lourdes mentions her “dear mother,” but Tello goes off on a tangent about Lourdes’ mother who is a deer.
* Number Two Cuz brings the show down by telling the story of a young man who died from the flu.
* Lourdes convinces her gullible son that the local oil refineries will cause the town to turn into zombies.
* Lourdes had to take selfies of herself, and she noticed that her mouth looks crooked. Her mom thinks it might be related to an ailment she had when she was a child.
* Number Two Cuz goes shopping with her mom.
* Lourdes saved money shopping, but she was still embarrassed by the amount of items she purchased.
* Number Two Cuz has a problem passing up on certain deals.
* Lourdes doesn’t like scary stories because it reminds her of scary childhood memories

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Jan 29, 201801:00:40
N2P 029: Getting to Know Us

N2P 029: Getting to Know Us

* Did Number Two Cuz blow her nose into a sock?
* Lourdes skipped out on church this morning.
* Tello laments never meeting a quality woman at church because they were always married with children.
* Lourdes remembers going to church after partying all night with her mom and sisters.
* Number Two Cuz may have been a little paranoid as she and her sisters’ (The Monkeys) reputations preceded them in social situations.
* Lourdes and Tello have excuses for not working out regularly.
* Number Two Cuz tries to convince Tello to buy second hand workout equipment.
* Tello has had some success with his Ketogenic diet.
* Has Number Two Cuz been drinking parasytes again?
* We’re getting old because Lourdes’ nephew is old enough to host the family at his house with his family.
* Lourdes thought her sister got shot on New Year’s Eve, but it was way less deadly and way more funny.
* Tello recalls the time he photoshopped his cousin Andrea to look bald, and her unhappy response.
* Number Two Cuz has to take a break to take a number two.
* Lourdes is trying a new detox. This reminds Tello of the time Lourdes tried drinking parasytes.
* Lourdes and Tello take a quiz to let people get to know them better.
* Number Two Cuz wonders if Texas Chainsaw Massacre really happened.
* Tello informs Lourdes that “furtherest” is not a word.
* Tello has fond memories of a road trip to Georgia that resulted in delicious Zunzi’s sandwiches.
* Lourdes is afraid that people will think that one of her hobbies is stupid.
* Tello was afraid he was going to be attacked by blackbirds in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

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Jan 15, 201801:28:08
N2P 028: 2018 is Gonna be Twenty Great-Teen

N2P 028: 2018 is Gonna be Twenty Great-Teen

* It’s a new year, but Number Two Cuz still hasn’t written any lyrics for the opening theme song.
* Lourdes and Tello got to spend some family time together over the Christmas break.
* Number Two Cuz hosted some Reindeer Games for the family over Christmas.
* Lourdes brought the family closer with an inflatable Reindeer ring toss game, a cakewalk, and lots of prizes.
* Tello and Lourdes exchanged gifts even though they agreed not to. Guess who got the better gift.
* A train interrupts the show.
* Lourdes talks about the cash and prizes she had for all the games they played.
* Tello tries to shame Number Two Cuz for not taking photos for videos during the games, but Lourdes explains how bad she is at photography and videography.
* Lourdes tells a story of how she tried to video a police chase and helicopter, but all she got was the sky.
* Tello defends burping into the microphone.
* Tello talks about how the family gift giving tradition has changed – emphasis on changing tradition.
* Tello was trying to push for an earlier gift exchange, but he got some pushback from his Fave Cuz Phoebe.
* Somehow, the gift exchange happened before the midnight tradition.
* Tello was thankful for being able to buy gift cards for all the small children in the family.
* Lourdes talks about the difference between giving gifts when she was a young woman compared to her daughters giving gifts now that they are young women.
* Tello talks about the depressing gifts he got for his mom.
* The best gift was saved for last. Tello got his brother a piece of his childhood, and it was a huge hit.
* Lourdes reflects on her commitment to the show for 2017, and compares it to past instances.
* Tello and Lourdes talk about their goals for the new year.
* Tello wants to lose 50 pounds.
* Lourdes is going to help Tello grow the podcast in the coming year, but only because Tello is going to force her.
* Number Two Cuz wants to lose weight and cut out some sugary snacks.

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Jan 08, 201801:15:36
N2P 027: Star Wars Review, Christmas List, and Christmas Trivia

N2P 027: Star Wars Review, Christmas List, and Christmas Trivia

* Number One Fave Cuz had some favorable things to say about the show.
* Number Two Cuz went on an adventure to buy some cheap furniture, but she may have found more than what she bargained for. Lourdes felt lied to after seeing the furniture in person, but more importantly, she felt embarrassed in front of her husband Luis.
* Lourdes and Tello discuss low balance notifications from the bank.
* Tello complains how Christmas is still so expensive even though he doesn’t buy gifts for the entire family.
* Lourdes is hopeful that games will help bring the family closer during the holidays.
* Tello thinks his estrogen might be too high because he’s been very emotional for a while.
* Tello reads some tweets from the co-director of Coco
* Tello gives his review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and it might come as a surprise to some people.
* Lourdes and Tello discuss Christmas with the Kranks. Tello just couldn’t get into it, but Lourdes still ranks it as one of her favorites.
* Number Two Cuz asked her husband Luis to write a Christmas list to Santa. What he asks for was a surprise to Lourdes and Tello. Lourdes dug a little deeper into Luis’ Christmas past and discovered some sad memories.
* Lourdes feels that Luis might be living vicariously through his children when it comes to making new Christmas memories.
* Tello confresses that not being able to give Christmas gifts makes Christmas less enjoyable for him.
* Number Two Cuz talks about how expensive it is to buy gifts for the family.
* Tello professes his love for Apple products, but Number Two feels caged in by the same products.
* Tello has some Christmas trivia for Number Two Cuz in hopes of making her look foolish, stupid, or dumb. She’s not foolish, stupid, or dumb, but putting that kind of pressure on Lourdes makes Tello laugh.
* Lourdes’ niece stops by to say Merry Christmas.
* Number Two Cuz has a hard time naming Santa’s Reindeer

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Dec 18, 201701:21:09
N2P 026: Shapewear, Coco Review, and Christmas is Coming

N2P 026: Shapewear, Coco Review, and Christmas is Coming

* Tello laments his inability to sing or play guitar.
* Number Two Cuz had a work retreat where she does some recollection.
* Lourdes ran into one of Tello’s nemeses while Christmas shopping. This stirs up some old painful memories for Tello that he’d like to bring closure to by fighting this nemesis.
* Lourdes ordered the butt underwear (rather shapewear), but did it get destroyed by the neighbor’s dog?
* Lourdes gets interrupted while recording – AGAIN – because she refuses to use the recording light that Tello made for her.
* Number Two Cuz made some progress watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox
* Tello got to hang out with his niece last weekend.
* Tello gives a heartfelt review of Pixar’s Coco. 
* Number Two Cuz and Tello discuss the importance of positive representation of Mexicans in American movies.
* Tello talks about how underwhelming the snow was when it first started, but by the end of the night it was really snowing.
* Lourdes talks about how she woke up her entire family in the early morning so she and her children could enjoy the first (and probably only) snow of the Texas winter.
* Lourdes doesn’t really like the Mexican 7 that her husband drew on her car.
* Tello gets sidetracked thinking of a fake movie called “Mexican 7”
* Little Luis builds a snowman, but Lourdes thinks it looks like something more anatomical.
* Lourdes and Tello are both hoping for a white Christmas.
* Lourdes reflects on how the beauty of the snow made her feel about the current state of political and social tensions.
* Lourdes and Tello discuss their Top 5 Christmas movies/shows. Tello might have a little more than five, and Lourdes might have fewer than five.
* Tello recalls the horrible story told in Gremlins about a missing father who was actually stuck in a chimney.
* Tello remembers when Lourdes’ mom yelled at her for messing up the recording of Mickey’s Christmas Carol.
* Tello never shot his eye out with a BB gun, but he did accidentally shoot something else.
* Lourdes shares a sad story of her nephew building a snowman for our departed aunt Gloria.
* Lourdes cheats and adds more movies to her top 5 list.
* Number Two Cuz reads this year’s letters to Santa from two of her kids. One asks for financial security, and another asks for lots of Dallas Cowboys gear.
* Lourdes and her sister Lupe both have birthdays that are about a week apart. Lourdes remembers Lupe getting the birthday gifts she wanted when they were young.
* Tello praises their parents for always providing a good Christmas for them as children.

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Dec 11, 201701:10:42
N2P 025: Flat Booties, Thanksgiving Recap , and Keeping Santa Real

N2P 025: Flat Booties, Thanksgiving Recap , and Keeping Santa Real

* Tello recounts the not so happy time when he realized that Number Two Cuz was his best friend.
* Lourdes is concerned that she may be hormonal
* The podcast caused some controversy during Thanksgiving dinner when Fave Cuz Phoebe was offended for being called selfish in a previous episode.
* Lourdes is recording in her daughter’s room to cut down on interruptions, and she finds a couple of interesting items. Tello thinks Lourdes is invading her daughter’s privacy.
* Lourdes is embarrassed by a certain part of her body, and it leads her to investigate some non-surgical solutions to the problem.
* Lourdes and Tello talk about the success of the Thanksgiving Cakewalk and how it became a family project for Lourdes.
* Lourdes’ mom was late for Thanksgiving, and no one ate her cooking.
* Lourdes’ daughter cooked a couple of dishes for Thanksgiving dinner.
* We attended another family gathering a couple of days after the holiday.
* Kids have it way easier with piñatas than we did, and they have no killer instinct when it comes to grabbing the candy.
* Tello wants to know how Number Two Cuz keeps Santa Claus real when there are haters who tell her kids that he isn’t real.
* Lourdes recalls the cute letters to Santa that her kids would write.
* Lourdes’ sister Andrea interrupts the show and sits in for a bit.
* Andrea tells us how she dealt with Santa haters trying to ruin it for her children.
* Tello asks Andrea how she dealt with situations when Santa couldn’t afford to bring her kids everything they asked for.
* Andrea also tells us the morbid way she would like to deal with her bad kids around Christmas time.
* Lourdes bought a ring toss game for Christmas fun and family feuding.
* Lourdes and Tello talk about some of the Christmas gift planning they’ve done.
* Tello is planning to take his niece to see Pixar’s Coco.
* Number Two Podcast was recommended by Podcasterio as one of the Latin podcasts to check out. #SupportBrownPodcasts
* Lourdes thought the show was all about Tello today, so Tello gave Number Two Cuz the opportunity to talk about shaving her hairy toes.

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Dec 04, 201756:19
N2P 024: Fighting Kids, Caring for Parents, and More Thanksgiving Fun

N2P 024: Fighting Kids, Caring for Parents, and More Thanksgiving Fun

* Number Two Cuz compliments Tello on the opening song.
* Lourdes thinks she knows someone who looks like someone famous.
* We remind everyone who put the Number Two in the Number Two Podcast.
* Lourdes receives a phone call from her son’s school because of an altercation. Blows were exchanged, glasses were broken, and Lourdes is afraid that this will be on his permanent record.
* Tello finds it hard to be objective about the fight because he’s been wanting to hit people lately.
* Lourdes and Tello explore Tello’s violent feelings, and ultimately wonder if it’s just a matter of pride.
* Number Two talks about taking care of her mother and assisting her in the restroom after she had a minor surgical procedure done. Lourdes recalls the last time she had to help her mom use the restroom after she had a cancerous tumor removed.
* Lourdes and Tello decide they need to lead healthier lives, and plan to update each other every week.
* Facebook news – Dumb questions:

* Is Disney’s Aladdin a bad influence? 
* Why do surgeons wash their hands?
* Proper condom usage…
* How to use a credit card for Internet payments.
* Pregnancy clues.
* Dinosaur and unicorn sightings
* Civil War is causing too much homework…
* Dumb elevators…

* We talk a little bit about Thanksgiving plans.
* Number Two still hasn’t watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox.
* We got a such a great response from Halloween Password that we decided to beat it into the ground with a game of Thanksgiving Password!
* Number Two Cuz tried to be serious on an history test, but she still answers kind of funny.
* Tello once won a free Thanksgiving turkey for filling out a survey at an apartment where he used to live. Tello made a Thanksgiving dinner with the help of a turkey hotline, and Number Two Cuz feels sad for him.

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Nov 20, 201701:22:37
N2P 023: Awkward Moments, Suicidal Dogs, and Thanksgiving Thoughts

N2P 023: Awkward Moments, Suicidal Dogs, and Thanksgiving Thoughts

* Number Two Cuz tells why the podcast recording was pushed back a bit.
* Tello teases Lourdes about her son getting head trauma from playing football.
* Lourdes tells the story of how she and her family were inspired from our last show to play Password while having a family dinner.
* Tello tells Lourdes about another expensive lunch he had during the week, but at least this one was healthy.
* Lourdes’ daughter, Priscilla, interrupts the show and has to pay the price by getting on the mic and putting up with Tello’s sense of humor.
* Number Two Cuz recounts an embarrassing story where she ends up stuck at the top of her fence.
* Lourdes tells another embarrassing story that involves the restroom and her crotch, and this reminds Tello of his own embarrassing crotch story.
* Lourdes tells another story about how she misunderstood a request at work, and the awkward conversation it lead to.
*  Lourdes thinks her dog, Scooter Fatazz, might be trying to commit suicide.
* Then there’s something about bushy armpit hair
* Tello still want’s to fight Number Two Cuz’s dad.
* Tello and Lourdes have a dispute over “Disclosure” vs  “Disclaimer.”
* Facebook News with Lourdes

* Inappropriate gifts
* Kids waiting til the last minute
* Mexican curas and ojo
* Long, slapping toes
* Lourdes and Tello have a moment of remembrance for two of their aunts who have passed away.
* Tello gets confused trying to explain the math involved with his late aunt’s’ birth and death dates.
* Lourdes still hasn’t watched “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”
* We get a fractured history lesson from Number Two Cuz
* Lourdes and Tello talk about Thanksgiving plans
* Tello talks about how much he loves Thanksgiving leftovers…maybe even more than Thanksgiving dinner.
* Tello tells awful Thanksgiving jokes
* Lourdes takes a moment out of the jokes for a depressing Thanksgiving memory.
* Lourdes probably has Black Friday deal
* Tello has a brain fart trying to think of the word “commission.”

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Nov 13, 201701:21:04
N2P 022: Work Drama, Thor Ragnarok, and Being A Toys r Us Kid
Nov 06, 201701:14:59