N.A.R.C. Troopers: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Collaborators

They may seem like a dream come true until the times comes that they become your worst nightmare. Nothing prepares you for that.

After the narcissist, it is not uncommon to experience a period of self-trashing, and this self-trashing often involves unsavory sexual liaisons. Forgive yourself, find your boundaries, and create a safe space to recover fully before rushing out into the world. It is dangerous out there.

How do you summon the will to live after a brutal discard?

Many of us find it hard enough to get through the daily anxieties and injustices of every day life. When the narcissist abandons you, there is usually a scorched earth policy where they burn your whole life to the ground with you in it, then erase you like it never happened.

How do you rise from the smouldering ashes to start again?

When you are in the shared fantasy with the narcissist, time keeps moving on without you. It is as if you were in a coma and when you awaken, everything is different and the people who were most important to you have gone on with their lives without you. It is a confusing and heartbreaking loss. The sooner we get back to reality, the better!

8/episode 11 looks at what happens after narcissistic abuse. You lose everything and have a really hard time getting up and getting on. What can we do about it?

What does it mean to be alive? The person with NPD is not truly alive by most definitions. Let's take a look at what it means to be alive and what separates the narcissist from a neurotypical healthy human.

After a relationship with a disordered narcissist, it is common to have anxiety and even panic. We discuss 5 maladaptive bad ways to respond to anxiety that can lead to the bad place. Then we discuss better alternatives to get a positive outcome.

A relationship with a narcissist is all about death. Their death (they killed themselves a long time ago), your death (the narcissist must "kill you" to separate and individuate), the "dead mother (that caused all this in the first place), the death of your identity and agency, and the death of everything around them.

So when they are gone, why is there still a problem? And what can we do to get past it!

There are soooo many effects that a covert malignant narcissist has aon their significant other. And the worst part is that all of this abuse can cause an addiction to them which in turn causes emotional, psychological, physiological, neuro-chemical, energetic, and just about every other type of disruption, sickness, and injury in the victim.

The silent treatment is one of the narcissist's favorite weapons to use against you at different stages in the relationship. At some point, we need to accept what they are and let them go- knowing they are very sick people. In the meantime, getting to know our own silence spaces can bring us peace.

THE TYPE OF ATTACHMENT STYLE we have influences how we RECOVER from relationships with MALIGNANT NARCISSISTS. Neurotypical people can modify or change their attachment styles, but the narcissist has flat attachment and can never change.

What is at the heart of narcissistic personality disorder? Understanding Object inconstancy, discontinuous memory, and object relations will make everything come into focus.

Well meaning people may do more harm then good when they try to support the narcissistic abuse victim. It's important to understand the unique journey to recovery.

There are casualties in a relationship with a person with NPD. Everyone goes down, and the narcissist rides into the sunset to live hollowly ever after.

My assertion is that all narcissists and psychopaths are walking invitations for dark forces to inhabit them. I believe they carry a "Vacancy" sign that draws entities to them who crawl into the empty space within them and proceed to influence their decisions, perceptions, behavior, etc. . .

I have witnessed this phenomenon face to face. This is my testimony and a cautionary plea to protect yourself.

Imagery is another tool for your toolbox that works wonders for many who are suffering from the aftermath of narcissistic abuse.

Tough times are here and you may be recovering from a relationship with a narcissist. Double whammy!x!

So how do you navigate these perilous waters? I have some tips for you.

When the going gets tough, the tough put their tits up. It's all about being resilient and plucky.

Continuous memory is an essential to emotional empathy, compassion, and reflection. Cluster B disordered people who do not have it are lacking a core quality that makes them human. When they leave, and they all leave sooner or later, they hit the delete button and you disappear as if you never existed. No memories, no regrets, not accountability, no sadness- just instant erasure and complete amnesia. What could be more soul-crushing to their partner than to be deleted and forgotten with absolutely no reflection or remorse? It is a fate worse than death. We remember the dead with respect and kindness. Not so with the narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. You disintegrate in a moment, and there is nothing to remember.

I begin with 3 perspectives about what the narcissist is ranging back into the past 1902-1907. There was an awareness of "their kind" even 100+ years ago. But where do they fit into the picture of current change. Is that where we are headed? Into a collective consciousness of hollow remorseless callousness? Are they simply an adaptation that was necessary to survive the modern world? Or are they harbingers of decay, depravity, emptiness,  and soullessness that seem to increase every day?

Jung described a constellated self where the individual is ordered and everything works in taddem with everything else in a natuarl, organized and constant way. Narcissists and other Cluster B disordered people do not have this design.

The narcissist and psychopath use people because they are not real and human and unique- they are all just objects to play with for awhile then cast aside for the next new thing. I am not fungible, disposable, interchangeable, replaceable. I am one of a kind. Even in a world where everything is built for the here and the now with no long term commitment, even in the multiverse, even in the transactional society that is always searching for what best serves them. That is my manifesto. It should be yours , too.

Remember that Death Cab for Cutie song from 20 years ago? Well, my darkness is encroaching blindness which might frighten even the most average spouse. But mine was a covert narcissist, so sticking around to be there for a partner with a disability is simply not something they are capable of doing. If you are in a relationship with one, stay healthy and strong. They can't be there for you if you are in need. Let's launch into this dark matter and see if there is a helpful take-away.

The world has changed over the past 10+ years. We have lost our souls in exchange for searching for things that "serve us" and throwing away anything that is inconvenient or boring. We have lost our moral compass and have become ethically bankrupt. The world has corrupted us with promises of wealth and power that never ever come as we ruthlessly compete in a landscape of scarcity and lack. The narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath have risen to power and are leading us off a cliff as they get richer and we get poorer. The result? Violence, perversion, despair, apathy, addiction, death. Let's step back and stop this madness.

Dreams of vengeance, justice, karma? Obsession with getting even, balancing the scales, teaching them a lesson? Refusing to accept being erased, forgotten, annihilated, deleted? Plotting and planning revenge fantasies and driven by rage? 

But what if they are already dead? Takes the wind right out of your sails, doesn't it?

How can you harm someone who is already the poster child for abuse? Someone so mentally delusional and sick?

It's a tough situation. What do you do?

Limerence, experienced by both the narcissist and their partner, is not love and may not even be prerequisite for love. It is more of a middle school crush kind of thing only involving the neuro-chemicals of the brain and even peptide addiction. Loneliness is something many of us who are codependent or have problematic  attachment styles or abandonment issues fear worse than death. It is a "howling wilderness" that screams to be comforted.It helps to understand both iso you can move toward healthy emotional connections with yourself and others.

Three categories are discussed:

1. The professionals, researchers, medical and mental health community

2. The narcissistic abuse recovery facilitators

3. The narcissists who are experts on their own disorder

What makes a person deelop narcissistic personality disorder?

We all have a healthy dose of narcissism, but how is a malignant, pathological one made? One that has no remorse, accountability, morals, love, or attachment to anyone. One that creates a false persona and wears a mask 24/7 that could fool even the most brilliant expert. One that cannot create a decent or stable life, self-sabotages, is reckless and impulsive, and always plays the victim? 

How do you make one of those?

For most of my life, I have been a narcoholic. I am someone who chose a disordered, malignant, pathological narcissist 3 times in my life, marrying them, having children with them, and ultimately, being discarded by them. I am currently sober, living one day at a time, trying to maintain no contact, and promising myself to never fall prey to another narcissist. Many of you will feel the truth in my story. It will resonate with you because it is a common dynamic. We must heal ourselves, do the work, and get free. It is a matter of life or death.

Please send questions or schedule 1:1 sessions at Narc2Thrive@gmail.com

I am unable to respond to voice messages left here at this time.

The relationship with the borderline and narcissist is powerful. By themselves, they are a tornado. Together, they are the perfect storm.

The narcissist plays many roles in a relationship. Each one is so very real and convincing that it cannot be detected by even the most brilliant trained person. There is no other experience like it!

For those who missed it, this is the part of the webinar where tips are offered to manage stress, anxiety, and depression during the holiday season. Licensed therapist Cathy Angi Brownell, trauma and PTSD trained art therapist and somatic interventionist joined me along with Myla Morningstar, writer and Quora content writer and married to a covert narcissist for nearly 30 years.

The Q & A was not shared, but another free event will be available for the next big hurdle. . . Valentine's Day.

Contact Cathy LPC at healingjourneys500@gmail.com

Contact me at Narc2Thrive@gmail.com

This colloquial phrase has two meanings, and we are going to take a look at both. Maybe it's is exactly what we need to do.

I practice an accent as I warn about the dangers of too much talk about narcissists and too much trust in the misinformation and disinformation provided by so many hacks on social media. Let's have a little fun, shall we?

An audio version of a video I made for Riverside. 

The narcissist is famous for blame-shifting and projecting his own issues onto others. They will never take accountability for their actions nor will they ever feel guilty for how they harm other people. It's all a game, and they are convinced that they must win it no matter what.

FREE LIVE EVENT! Tips on how to navigate through the challenges of the holiday season followed by a Q & A. 

Join two recovery facilitators and a licensed counselor to learn about ways to take care of yourself during a stressful time of year. 

zTopic: Surviving the Holidays Webinar with Myla, Cathy, & Jin

Time: Nov 5, 2022 11:00 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/81022310915?pwd=ejNzY1FBNC9GZm83MWtpcGI3MlE3Zz09

Meeting ID: 810 2231 0915

Passcode: 445333

Evil is an absence of God. That is all I know of heaven and hell. My husband was not the devil, but the absence of being was profound.

Music provied by: -DJKMUSIKK

Song: Dying Rose    

 https://soundcloud.com/ayan-kohli/dying-rose-djkmusikk?si=068441f3bc04478f815e28c6d4bbf160&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

FREE LIVE EVENT! Tips on how to navigate through the challenges of the holiday season followed by a Q & A.

Join two recovery facilitators and a licensed counselor to learn about ways to take care of yourself during a stressful time of year.

zTopic: Surviving the Holidays Webinar with Myla, Cathy, & Jin

Time: Nov 5, 2022 11:00 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Join Zoom Meeting

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/81022310915?pwd=ejNzY1FBNC9GZm83MWtpcGI3MlE3Zz09

Meeting ID: 810 2231 0915

Passcode: 445333

Today, I sit down with several 14 and 15-year-old girls who ask the question: What event has changed your life? The conversation goes toward abuse and how it shapes our lives. It looks like in most ways, we all want the same things.

The Cluster B disordered person is hollow, and if you stay too long, they will scoop out all of your being and you will be hollow just like them.

The Narcissist, the Codependent, and the Empath walk into a bar....

Yeah, no, but really.

Why do they gravitate to one another and have such intense relationships, at least for a while?

Let's ponder what makes us human and what makes an animal an animal and where the narcissist fits in this bigger picture.

Experts agree that many narcissists share common features with other types of personality disorders, especially Cluster B. It is also important to know there are distinguishing characteristics that set them apart. Sometimes they can even pair up and a person could have several different types of maladaptive, trauma based disorders. Let's take a look.

Today, we talk about different kinds of vision. The way we see things. The way the world looks through the eyes of a narcissist. And most importantly, we end with the big suprise. . .  what is HAPPY DONUT?

This episode comes with a disclaimner and trigger alert that the content, approach, and l;anguage may be too potent for people who are not a place to receive it. Are you stuck, ruminating and longing and craving and dreaming about the narcissist and unable to put them down and let them go? A self-aware narcissist and possible borderline who has amazing self-awareness and insight offers a strong dose of medicine that may be hard to swallow but possibly turn out to be the kick in your pants to get you unstuck and moving along. Narcissistic abuse recovery is not for the feint hearted. We discuss the victimhood trap and how we, the surviviors and thrivers, must be more "McGuyvers in our approach to recovery where we are solutions oriented problem solvers who get the job done whatever it takes. At some point, the focus is NOT on the narcissist, but on YOU! Take accountability for your part in it all, ask why, figure it out, and fix it. Freedom and happiness and health await those who are fierce and determined. Let's put down the "narc-pipe", end our addiction, get acquainted with our power and value, and do what we need to do to be ready for the future that's coming.