Power For Positive Living

Saying Goodbye  While some of us may have difficulty saying 'hello' to people, it is often the external and internal goodbyes that provide most of us the biggest challenges by invoking anxiety and stress.   Learning to say goodbye in a healthy manner is a significant part of the grieving process when we lose someone or something important to us.  

 Many of us have topics that are difficult to openly discuss with others. Two of these sensitive topics seem to be the 'wealth game' of self-worth and the exploring/sharing with others the diversity we wish to live during the final days of our life. Whether we see ourselves as more winners or losers in life games, being able to relate our experiences, hopes, and fears with others can be a challenge for our emotional and physical health.      We can face the last of our life chapters with introspective intellectualism.  Having an actual 'last days' experience can allow us to explore many questions about ourselves, others who are important to us and the many decisions we have made on our personal life journey.  Doing both allows us to have a more realistic view of how we see the continuum of our life into eventual death. 

All Things End: What Have I Learned?  At some point, in some way, all living things eventually meet death and our one chance to live this unique gift of life will come to an end.  We each have many choices as we live and our personal choices have consequences throughout our life path.     One personal guideline that can be helpful in pondering positive and healthy choices for our latter days is:  I cannot go back and change the beginning.  I can start where I am and change the ending.  Except in our memories, yesterday is gone.     Like doing an eulogy, it is difficult for most of us to summarize both positively and negatively what we have and have not learned on our individual life path.  Each of us will basically answer the questions:   Who Am I?  What have I learned to maximize my remaining days of life to be positive and healthy?

Is This My Last Chance?  One of the major assets of living life is knowing that at some point our individual life will come to an end. Knowing that our life will eventually end can give tremendous value to each of us on making our personal decisions for whatever time remains.     One choice that has positively affected my emotional health has been a choice to frame each interaction with another as though it could be my last chance to frame our relationship.  If family/friends were to never interact with me due to their illness or death, I wanted them to leave this earth with an accurate understanding of how and why they were important to me.

What Do I Choose to Leave Behind?   Our personal life legacy is in a constant state of being created by our daily choices made one hour, one day or one month at a time.  While our life choices are open to varied perceptions by others, do I accept responsibility for expressing my own values and beliefs in actively living what is important to me?    When death does eventually arrive, shall I be content with the physical, emotional, social and spiritual choices that will accurately define me and my legacy to others?  If I were able to look backward after my death, would I be pleased with the personal choices that I leave behind for others to remember me?

Learning the skills to appreciate our pets with love and caring is important to many individuals.   For some, the lives of our pets may be as important or more important than the skills and beliefs learned to value the lives of fellow humans.   The presence of life also teaches us that at some point and in some manner there is the arrival of death for humans as well as for pets.   The arrival of death for either brings forth our unique values and beliefs we each have developed during our lives.   Having each of us confront his/her views on death for humans and/or pets provides a significant self-learning opportunity. 

Managing Expectations of Self and Others Wellness Psychology recognizes that each of us has the power to 'frame' his/her world into the specific perceptions that we choose. We have the personal responsibility for viewing our world along with the power to accept, reject or modify our choices. We frequently need to ventilate our feelings with others. This process of sharing with another tends to reduce the emotional pressures we feel with the frustrations of life. Seeking information about options different than receiving advice can be helpful. Expectations change. Do we choose the power to accept, reject or modify them? Do we choose the 'victim' roles and seek to blame others for our own choices? Are we willing to explore the reasons we offer for our choices versus the challenges of finding the 'real' reasons we have for framing our world and the resultant choices?

Presence: Best Gift for Human Connection Our in-person presence can often be the most valuable and useful gift that we have to give to others as we build and maintain our human connections.   The emotionally healthy person recognizes the presence or absence of other humans can significantly affect one's mental health.   Each of us comes into life with the need to have some type and degree of relating and connections with other humans.  Regardless of age, gender, geography, social group, etc., this need for some level of social connection is practically universal.    Learning and understanding the various roles of being present for another is a significant gift to connecting and supporting our relationship with them.

One + One = One or Two?   Inherent in our relationships is that the participants have a set of assumptions and expectations for themselves as well as for the other person.  Whether in marriage or friendship we rely on these assumptions and expectations to healthfully maximize the connection we have with each other.    We have choices in our degree of connection such as whether our relationship emphasizes remaining two separate entities or whether we prefer the tighter connection of blending into one entity such as some marriages, families and friendships strive to do.   Our challenge can be to the degree that both of the individuals see this type of assumption and expectation as being compatible for daily living. 

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall-Part 2   Wellness Psychology encourages each of us to more fully understand and appreciate the choices we make in developing and implementing our own individual self-esteem beginning as a child to becoming a senior citizen.   Special interest is paid to the emotional cancer of perfectionist tyranny and the ways we can re-decide to promote healthy self-esteem for ourselves.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall-Part 1   Wellness Psychology encourages each of us to more fully understand and appreciate the choices we make in developing and implementing our own individual self-esteem beginning as a child to becoming a senior citizen. Beginning with words from the Book of Proverbs, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he", various approaches are presented to understanding the choices our heart implements during our daily living.  "Love thy neighbor as thyself" is another guideline for study with emphasis on the last two words.  Honesty is often defined as the ability, to tell the truth to others.   Maturity is the ability, to tell the truth to ourselves and, therefore, often tends to be more challenging for many.  Maturity becomes a major goal of the personal retreating process.  Jim Cole's book Facades is used to demonstrate that healthy self-esteem needs a sense of belonging, having worth and value as well as having some competency. Development of our self-views is characterized by "children are the world's best recorders of their world and also the world's worst interpreters of it." The outcome is that many individuals make choices that are inaccurate and lead to unhappiness.

Invisible Pain Finding a healthy balance to the joys and pains of living life is a continual process for most of us.  What is hurtful and painful to one person may or may not be the same for another or it may require a different degree to register.  We can often better understand and choose our responses to physical pain like a broken arm, cancer, strokes, etc.    Depression comes in many forms and degrees; it frequently appears to be invisible in the people around us.  Not understanding the diverse dynamics of depression or lacking the best vocabulary to convey the personal presence of depression, many in our society may choose to conceal their confused feelings and thoughts.  Concealment also prevents one from hearing useless phrases like get happy or advice like 'go and be around lots of people'.   Pain is pain whether it is visible to ourselves and others or whether it remains internal and invisible except to the most astute.  Recognizing the presence of invisible pain like depression allows us to decide on our personal responses to offer healthy and beneficial support. 

Who Am I? (Part Four)   One of the most frequent and powerful questions that an individual can ask him or herself during their life journey is:  Who Am I?   Who is the current 'me' and how is today different from some earlier age?  What choices shall I make for today which may alter my self-image in the future?   The questions for personal introspection tend to be endless.  Introspection is hard work!  We each eventually find what works for us.  Questions are presented in five different areas for each individual to ask themselves as they seek to honestly confront a unique and important question like:  'Who Am I?'   Sample introspective questions for five different areas of your life offered in this podcast are:  Your Parents, God, Write Your Own Obituary, Emotional and Physical Intimacy, Human Sexuality.    

Who Am I? (Part 3)   Some of the most frequent and powerful questions that an individual can ask him are:  Who Am I?   Who is the current 'me' and how is today different from some earlier age?  What decisions shall I choose for today which may alter my self-image in the future?   The questions for personal introspection tend to be endless.  Introspection is hard work.  We each find what works for us.  Sample questions are presented in five different areas for each individual to ask themselves as they seek to honestly confront a question like 'Who Am I?'   Sample questions offered in this podcast are: Need for Privacy, Needing Others, Authority Figures, Our Body, Being Loved.

Who Am I? (Part Two)   Wellness Psychology encourages us to explore the personal question of "Who Am I?".   There are many ways for a person to experience this process of introspection.    Using the multiple-question method that is similar to the personal retreat format, one can seek the answers to questions created to go beyond our surface traits.   Questions can be entered in a personal journal, verbally shared with another person, or in some combination.   Examples given in this podcast include topics:  Possessions, Sources of Greatest Satisfaction, Weakness, Fundamental Attitudes Toward Others. 

Who Am I?   Wellness Psychology encourages us to explore the personal question of "Who Am I?".   There are many ways for a person to experience this process of introspection.    Using the multiple-question method that is similar to the personal retreat format, one can seek the answers to questions created to go beyond our surface traits.   Questions can be entered in a personal journal, verbally shared with another person or in some combination.   Examples given in this podcast include topics:  Self Knowledge, Self-Description with Adjectives, 10-Statement Autobiography, and One Change in Self.   

There Are No Trees At Sea (part 2)    Who am I?  How did I develop into the person I am?  Who were the people and what were the major events that led me to make healthy and unhealthy choices which bring happiness or sadness into my current life?  Am I ready to study and understand the internal compass that guides me when I enter the emotional fogs of daily living?   How can I understand myself better and explore/experiment by choosing different emotions and/or behavior?   Wellness Psychology encourages the exploration of diverse characteristics in ourselves as we choose who we wish to be.  One is encouraged to choose the role of being the author of one's life rather than choosing to be a victim of life.   Experiencing a personal retreat is one way for an individual to focus on four major aspects of life:  emotional, physical, social and spiritual

There Are No Trees At Sea (part 1)    Who am I?  How did I develop into the person I am?  Who were the people and what were the major events that led me to make healthy and unhealthy choices which bring happiness or sadness into my current life?  Am I ready to study and understand the internal compass that guides me when I enter the emotional fogs of daily living?   How can I understand myself better and explore/experiment by choosing different emotions and/or behavior?   Wellness Psychology encourages the exploration of diverse characteristics in ourselves as we choose who we wish to be.  One is encouraged to choose the role of being the author of ones life rather than choosing to be a victim of life.   Experiencing a personal retreat is one way for an individual to focus on four major aspects of life:  emotional, physical, social and spiritual

Life Risk Choices   Wellness Psychology encourages us to accept that our choice to live life is accepting that this decision comes with some type and degree of risk.  Living life is risky; each of us retains the option on how we manage these risks.  Most of us conclude that the only completely risk-free path is when we die.  We choose to accept risk when we take ownership of our life and do not give our power of making personal choices to others.  

Framing My Gift of Life   The personal power that we each have to frame our gift of life is truly awesome!  While there are some aspects of this gift for which we have no control, there are so many others where we do get to make individual choices to make the most of this gift that we have been given.    A thought that may be of value for each of us to ponder in deciding the daily direction we choose to point our viewpoints for living:  I cannot change the beginning of my life.  I can begin today to determine how it will be at the end.

Can I Help Others With Their Needs, Not Mine? Your host pays a repeat visit to "Hello Henry" on WBT, AM 1110, in Charlotte, NC, before his move to the Atlanta area in Georgia.    This conversation with Henry Bogan is primarily responding to individuals who call into the radio station to share their questions about relationships with others.   One question encourages a person to ponder their own reasons and needs when they plan to 'help' others who have declined an offer of assistance.    It is often difficult to effectively and positively relate with others until we have learned to relate healthfully with ourselves.  As is frequently the point within wellness psychology, the challenge remains for each of us to learn from one's own inner voices (values, beliefs, experiences, etc.) rather than rely so heavily on the what others tell us is the 'best' for us on how to think, feel and behave as we choose how to live life.    

Same Messages, Different Words   Most of us wish to communicate effectively with others.  To accomplish this goal, we often use the same core of our beliefs, values, attitudes, and experiences.    Like an artist who can convey artistic viewpoints using different mediums or a pastor who chooses to focus on varied aspects of his/her faith, a psychologist will use his knowledge and experiences within a certain framework/philosophy to assist others with making healthy life choices.   Wellness Psychology is the framework of choice for this Power for Positive Living and Friendship podcast series.   This psychologist, like the artist and pastor, conveys the same message on the power of personal choice in different podcasts while choosing to focus on Wellness Psychology using a variety of words.   The power of the listener to decide what role these messages/words will play in living his/her gift of life remains an individual choice. 

Conversational Boundaries While some persons thrive on the conflict of participating in culture wars, we can choose alternate paths for ourselves. Handling the stresses of diversity in our society can be a challenge, but is always a personal choice.

Conversational Ritual and Boundaries   Do we really listen or do we rely on the ritualized behaviors of greetings?   Are we content with "just fine" or are we willing to invest more energy and time to hear more from others?

Do I Want A Real Conversation?   Most of us spend much of our awake-time talking with other people.   If one is ever exploring the questions associated with feelings of loneliness, one helpful way is to consider what makes a conversation with others 'real'.   We can also explore the degree of 'connection' we wish to have with others and for them to have with us. Do we need to explore how much of our talking/conversation is scripted and repeated by rote or do we wish to have deeper 'original' content for our dialogues to be 'real'?

Do We Understand Each Other?   Effective human communication remains one of the major challenges we each face during our Life Journey.  The assumptions and expectations that each of us personally takes into a dialogue with another have a powerful effect on whether our communication is successful.   Seeking to understand our own ways of "broadcasting" to others is as critical as being able to tune into the other person's choice of channels for listening.  

What Is A Positive Attitude? Using various emotional tools like a positive-view camera or a positive magnifying glass, we each make choices on how we see various aspects of our world and the people in it.  What we choose to see generally will translate into the attitudes we develop.

Mourning Our Loss of Yesterday Life seems to be a constant parade of gain and loss.  Many cannot fully appreciate their present-day choices since they are still focusing on an inability to let go of their past.  Yesterday is gone as are any changes we wish to make about it.    We hopefully can learn from the assets and liabilities of living our personal history, but any change whether positive or negative for the future will be a result of choices we make today.  Wishing for any change in our past is almost certain to be a stressor in some degree for our current and future mental health.

Opportunity Learning with Deprivation Much of our daily life is lived by implementing the choices we have made during previous days.  We tend to accept these situations as normal and they become our personal habits in thoughts, feelings and behaviors.    There are times when we are deprived of what we consider normal and have the opportunity to make new choices from our habitual patterns.  What we choose to learn and implement with changes from periods of deprivation can be informative and provide opportunities.   We are unique individuals and each will decide what these deprivation experiences teach us. 

Everyone Has An Opinion! It is clear to most people that each individual tends to have many opinions about various areas of their life.  We choose experiential perspectives that work for us and frequently may label our opinions as facts for everyone.   Challenges for many are not the large number of opinions which may be presented as objective facts, but that so many people have opinions which are different from our own views.    Our choices may become whether we choose to learn something new from different viewpoints other than our own or whether we prefer to engage in competitive conflict-focused win-lose contests to prove ourselves correct and others wrong.   Our decisions on managing our place in this opinion-filled world conveys information on how we see ourselves and how we choose to relate to other people. 

What Am I Living For? Every minute that you and I are alive we are making and implementing personal choices for answering the question:  What am I living for?   Our answers to this basic life question are constantly evolving as the years pass by adding our own unique experiences and incorporating diverse viewpoints from interacting with other people.   Embracing the processes of emotional introspection on a frequent basis allows us the opportunity to inject joy and understanding for our future choices.

Physical Versus Mental Health Choices   A foundation belief of Wellness Psychology is that we each have the personal power of the verb "to choose" in laying out our individual life path.  Our life is constantly changing; our choices often determine the consequences that characterize us as humans.    A recent viral pandemic provided new options for many.  There were often stark choices between support for balancing our physical health behaviors within a society versus our individualized needs for supporting our own emotional health with in-person human interaction.  We were often asked to evaluate the prices we were able to pay for certain outcomes versus the prices we were willing to pay for supporting our individual physical and emotional health.

Choosing Healthy Words Wellness Psychology believes that our personal power of choice is one of the most significant aspects of us being human individuals.   With each and every hour of life, this power of choice often determines the degree of success for how you and I live with ourselves and with others.    The word choice each person makes tends to determine many of our personal thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviors.  Encouraging each individual to actively listen to him/herself with kindness and respect can assist many with evaluating what word choices are working well within a personal life journey and what word choices may be candidates for possible changes with redecision.

Self-Learning With Social Media    There are many ways for us to understand our personal beliefs and values systems.  One way for many is evaluating the choices we make with the various participation options available on social media.    With the choice of participation frequency, sharing of chosen content types and our selection of the specific individuals with whom we choose to interact, we tell ourselves and others more about the unique person that we are.   Understanding and evaluating the similarities/differences we have with others using social media behaviors supports our own introspective personality processes.

Describing and Interpreting Behavior    Whether we are talking and communicating with ourselves or others, the challenges to be accurate and effective remain for most of us.   Learning how to differentiate between the objective description of behavior, thought, attitude or feeling with the individualized interpretations we add can significantly improve our understandings and effectiveness.   Describing and interpreting go together to make our communications more individual and enjoyable.  Understanding the differences as well as how we combine them can lead us to appreciate a more positive experience when we "talk" with ourselves and/or others.

 Discounting Behaviors    Discounting behavior is when we view someone (ourselves of another) as being of less value. Full value perceptions are often learned early with our childhood history.    Society encourages us to accept common standards as to what is or is not valuable.   We are encouraged to seek full-valued people in our friends, jobs, social organizations, life goals, etc.  Discounted persons receive fewer gifts like our attention.  These judgments of value seem to be seldom questioned and re-evaluated after they become habitual.   

Our Fear Triggers  Survival tends to be the most basic of our human instincts.  Our ability to create and manage our personal fear triggers allows us to improve our chances for survival.  Our lives change from childhood to becoming seniors.  We choose whether we retain our individual fear triggers from an earlier age as we grow older.    Fear is the alert mechanism that allows us to become aware of danger in some form or degree.  Becoming aware of danger with fear triggers allows us to develop personal response strategies that strengthen our drive to survive.     The presence of fear in some type or degree is usually typical for all of us as humans.  Sometimes giving ourselves permission to be human can be the strongest fear of all.   

Needing Human Touch    We all arrive in this world with a strong need to be touched by other human beings.  The amount and type of human touch we receive as children can have a strong impact on our emotional and physical health as we grow into adulthood.   Also, as we each age and prepare to depart from this world, this strong need and desire to have touch contact with other humans becomes very evident.      Our adult years are spent trying to find a positive and healthy way to meet this human need for human touch beyond the behaviors of sexuality.   Few areas in our society seem to produce more complex variations on healthy and appropriate ways to meet this need.    Wellness psychology encourages our individuality in managing these areas through the personal choices we each make.   

Being Alone  Many persons use the terms loneliness and being alone as interchangeable.  The first is missing an emotional connection with the people in one's environment.  The second is not having other humans or living things around self. Being alone is easily changed: add people or pets.  Loneliness is a more complex combination of factors to effectively connect with others such as self-esteem, interpersonal skills, emotional life history, etc. Feelings of loneliness are more difficult to change and are less noticeable to people in our world.  

Learning With Solitude and Isolation  As humans, we tend to need the presence and active interaction with other humans to feel complete during our life journey.  There are also times when we can learn much about ourselves as individuals when we structure periods of isolation or solitude.  These experiences allow us to better understand ourselves and strengthen the unique friendship that each of us has with self.

Personal Holiday Celebration    Our birthdays can be a time for reflecting on the choices we have made during the past year as well as choosing the direction we wish to go during the coming year.  The past is gone except for our memories.  We each have the opportunity to take what we have learned in previous years of living life and focus our individual power of choice to produce a positive and healthy lifestyle going forward.     Making our birthday into a personal holiday for celebration allows us to appreciate our previous life path as well as focus on the choices we make for whatever time lies ahead.

Pricing My Life Choices   This interview allows each listener to consider knowledge and life options presented from a different point of view.   Your host is interviewed by Henry Bogan on WBT-AM in Charlotte, NC, on Friend Ship's focus on wellness psychology.      Together they explore the basic concepts of emotional pricing that each of us pays when we make our individual choices interacting with ourselves and other people.  There are no freebies!  Callers join in for a portion of the discussion on how to understand and implement the giving and receiving of emotional pricing. 

Why Lie to Your Counselor? Truth and lies tend to come in various shades and degrees.  Individuals tend to choose to interact with themselves as well as with others by following personal beliefs, values, beliefs, feelings and behaviors on how they see themselves and their world.   Many people choose to assist other people with their life journey.  Regardless of being self-defeating, some will choose to interact with these helpers with a degree of untruthfulness.   Many will go to great lengths to present themselves in a positive way to others to avoid personal responsibility for their life choices.   Working through these distortions of dishonesty can frequently be a major challenge of the counseling process.  

Understanding My Personal Counseling Choices   There are many factors to consider when we seek counseling assistance for some of the emotional challenges each of us faces during life.  Whatever choices we make, each will bring its own 'price' to be paid.  The more information we have on ourselves and what we are seeking, the more likely a positive outcome will occur.

I Have the Choice!   One of the cornerstones of wellness psychology is acknowledging the power of choice that each of us implements every day of our lives.  A key to a better understanding of who we are is learning how we choose our attitudes, expectations, and create our personal definitions.    We also make choices on deciding what we do with certain feelings and situations. Your host's experience with Hurricane Jerry is offered as an example to consider in reminding us that each does have the 'power of choice' in our lives; choices that fit the individual we are.

I Would Be Happy If You...   Accepting responsibility for the personal choices that we each make in our lives can be one of the most important aspects of creating positive mental health for ourselves.   When we recognize and accept that each of us has this personal power to select options that either increase or decrease our happiness, we tend to be healthier in relating to ourselves and to other people.  This acceptance of personal choosing increases my ability to appreciate and enjoy the diverse relationships I have with myself and others.

Making Healthy Life Choices   As a child, our individual choices for living life are often made by others.  Some continue to give that power to others as we become adults.   Each of us eventually develops our personal cost/benefit process of choosing what does/does not work for us as we each choose how to live this gift of life.    We can ask ourselves introspective questions such as: What gives my life meaning and value today?   We may eventually reach a point where the quality of life is more/less important to us than the quantity of life for certain situations.   Hopefully avoiding the burdens of perfectionism, we each can make healthy life choices for today and tomorrow while realizing that we each retain the power of re-decision as our situations evolve.  

Change and Choice   Each day of our lives brings some type and degree of change in our world.  This is a constant of living with each breath that we take.   The personal challenge each of us faces is how do we decide to manage our reactions to this constant parade of change.  What choices will each of us make to have the most healthy outcomes in our lives?  Will we allow ourselves to believe that we truly are in charge of what choices we make?   What degree of responsibility are we willing to accept for our choices?   Can we learn from previous choices so that future ones are healthier and support a positive lifestyle?    

Making Resolutions Which Are Real Many individuals begin the new year with wishes and hopes that the days ahead will be better and a change from their past.   Year after year, these resolutions become little more than "wish lists" and very little changes as the days pass.   This podcast series believes that "If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten."  Change is our lives requires us to actually make changes, not just wish and hope for them to take place.    

Gifting Self  Whatever personal values and beliefs we each have on the process of giving to others or ourselves are conveyed when we create a gift.  Whether our gift is concrete or is a thought, feeling, or behavior, we tell ourselves and others who we are as unique individuals by the gifts we choose to give.  Gifting ourselves can often be the most personal, important, and valuable gift we are able to create and give.  

What Do You Want From Me? Many people like to see themselves as helpers for others in their world.  For this gift to be maximized, it can be important for the giver and receiver of any assistance to understand the expectations of each so that the gift does not come with 'strings' and can really be a win-win relationship.

Is Helping Being Helpful?   Most of us encounter times and situations where we do benefit from various types of assistance from others.  We also are presented with many opportunities to assist others in a wide variety of ways with their diverse life difficulties.   There are a number of areas for each individual to consider when they make the choice to offer help to another.  Questions can include one's willingness and ability to help another in ways that are beneficial to them.  Or, is one's help being given to only reinforce my own generous perceptions of self?  What are the many expectations we each have in the giver-receiver relationship?       We each also have options to consider when we make the choice to open ourselves up to receiving help from others.  What types of limitations do I place on others and myself when assistance is sought and offered?   Have I communicated clearly what I am seeking?   Are ulterior motives present or is the communication honest and open?

Give What You Are Able and Willing   Almost all relationships are built on the processes of giving and receiving, making assumptions and having expectations of each other.   Our relationships tend to be more harmonious when these processes are fully understood and acted upon honestly by the individuals involved.    When a person understands what degree they are able to give to another as well as the degree to which they are willing to give, the relationship is likely to be more positive and without the various mind-games of guilt.   Relationship-building is also strengthened when each person can understand and differentiate between their ability to give and their personal willingness to give.  We tend to be healthier when we create effective ways to give and receive with the various people in our life.   Facebook Page

What Is The Problem?   One of the entertaining and challenging aspects of human behavior can be when we learn how various people can all look at the same object or situation and yet see it completely differently.   Wondering why others cannot see our 'reality' can create so much frustration in our relationships.

Our Assumptions and Expectations   Since we usually like to associate with people who have similar thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, it can be very easy to make inaccurate assumptions and place difficult expectations for these individuals.   Our challenge can be to avoid viewpoints such as these people should be more like me in almost everything of importance.   Since our values and beliefs generally work well for us, we can often see differences as the problem of others rather than considering the possibility that the conflict is generated within ourselves.

Teaching Pigs to Sing   One of the valuable guidelines that we can find in our relationships with other people is recognizing that people tend to think, feel and behave in ways that work best for them (not us) or at least are the most familiar.   While the idea of teaching a pig to sing may bring a smile to our face, the frustrations we encounter in trying to change others to be more like us usually are about as effective as if you and I were to actually teach a pig to sing.     However, as long as there are people interacting with others, we shall probably continue to find individuals who strive to "teach a pig to sing".  

Culture War Stresses   Everyone has an opinion!  With wide diversity in our society, we often face the many stresses that occur when individuals choose to strongly impose their viewpoints on others.   While no topic is "safe" from the different perspectives of those around us, some areas of our life seem to attract conflict more easily than others.  Some views tend to attract the belief that other people would be so much wiser and happier if they were to change to fit another perspective, usually the one we have chosen for ourselves. 

Healthy Aging With Friends   This episode continues the self-study of one's friendship circle    Many of the characteristics of the building and maintaining our friendship family continues to change as we age.   We may be fortunate to have "historical friends" who have been friends for decades.    Like any critical part of our lives, friendships need our attention and support to remain living and positive aspects of our emotional and physical health systems.   As we age, we often make new choices on how to manage these life changes with those who leave our friendship circle for a variety of reasons.

Can I Choose Happiness While Aging? Believing strongly in the power of choice, Dr. Hughey comments on his current views of the numerous options we each have as the decades pass.   Yes, we do change as we age with each birthday.   However, regardless of our age, we continue with opportunities to choose our own personal attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors toward others and ourselves.

Aging Psychologically   We often tend to place most of our attention on the physical aspects of aging which are usually visual.  Often overlooked are the less visual aspects of emotional, social, financial, spiritual, etc.  Usually, the aging process is more positive for all concerned when active planning takes place for both physical and psychological aspects.   Personalizing the various processes tends to be more helpful for the senior as well as family and friends around him/her. 

Celebrating My Personal Holiday Month   Each year we have the opportunity to make personal choices on how we wish to mark the arrival of our birthday.   Many choose the path of celebration and joy.  Others choose to add various burdens to this aspect of their Life Journey.  Others make the choice of ignoring the entire event.      Since your host believes in the power of personal choice, a celebration of his birthday has evolved from one day to the full month of October.  He chooses to include as many individuals as possible and create varied memories to add to those from previous years.     As with so many other aspects of life, change arrives with each birthday.   We each have the power of how you and I confront and manage the changes that living another year brings to each of us.  

My Pandemic Birthday Letter   2020 has introduced many life changes for most people.  Taking time to ponder and reflect on the many stresses and challenges we each face during this period allows us to make healthy physical and mental choices for ourselves.     One stress can be "Plexiglas Loneliness" where we are touch deprived of active intervention with other humans.  Another can be trying to play psychological mind games like "If only.." in an effort to change our past.  The third stress might be trying to change other people as they make decisions different from the ones we choose for ourselves.    Living is risky.  Each of us tends to develop our personal risk meter to determine the risks we are willing to take during a pandemic to maintain our physical and emotional health.   Our choices allow us to live life while being aware that all of our choices do have consequences.  The introspection of Wellness Psychology increases our chances of choosing healthy options.  

Building Relationships By Listening Your host was invited to visit the Teacher’s Lounge podcast. This brief interview discusses the importance of building relationships with students and parents through the process of listening and communicating with understanding.  For more episodes of The Teachers Lounge Podcast, type in The Teachers Lounge in your podcast player or subscribe by visiting http://theteachersloungeshow.libsyn.com/podcasts.

Loving the Unlovable   Many of us are mystified why some persons choose attitudes, feelings and behaviors that encourage being unlovable to the ones around them.  This mystery is further compounded when we realize that our own life has been learning to be liked and to receive the various types of emotional and physical stroking which make our lives more positive.   When we want to be lovable for ourselves, why do others choose ways to be unlovable?   When does self-study become selfish?  What are the powers we give to the labels we choose to define our lives to ourselves and others?   For example, how can I choose a personal tendency to use "I-itis" to strengthen my relationships with others?   As a PTP, we continue to ponder and learn about the powers we choose to give to others so they determine how you and I feel in a variety of settings.  

The Power of Prayer   How one chooses to create and implement their personal prayer life often results in powerful effects on our emotional mental health as well as our spiritual lives.   Prayer can be the ultimate gift of listening hospitality that you and I receive as we manage various personal issues and choices.       

Light My Candle   Many persons choose to be overwhelmed by the flood of 'bad' news present in our world.  They are usually frustrated waiting for the world and the people in it to change and improve.   Another choice option is to take the assets that we were given with the gift of life and choose to focus on improving our own personal corner of life rather than trying to change others or wait for the entire world to change.    Lighting our personal candle of positivism can usually bring light and encouragement to the small segment of the world that we each inhabit.   

Am I Rich? One of the most valuable insights for an individual to discover is to become aware of how they see the various roles of wealth and money in their perceptions of self-worth. Additional knowledge is gained when one learns how perceptions of wealth affect their views on the worth of others in their world. Another valuable insight for self-growth is to learn the unique 'pricing system' he/she uses in emotional exchanges with themselves and others. There seem to be no emotional freebies as we live out the individual choices we each make.

Challenging Toxic Thinking   Many of the emotional burdens that individuals carry in their lives revolve around the characteristics of toxic thinking.  We tend to accept certain beliefs, values, attitudes, feelings, and behaviors as being "normal" for all of us.  If we accept this one-size-fits-all view, we often choose toxic outcomes like guilt and shame.   Toxicity is often managed by challenging the thinking which declines to change as the situations in our life change.   We each have the personal power to make new choices to encourage the presence of positive mental health by reducing the influence of mental and emotional toxicity.  

Personal Currencies for Living   While financial currency is structured by the political/governmental unit in which we live, each of us has the option to earn and spend currencies that are individualized to us.  We choose how we earn and spend such currencies as time, socialization, emotional, etc.  Unlike financial currency, these tend to be personalized by our individual choices of earning and spending.   Understanding these various currencies we use to implement our values can improve our knowledge of self.  

My 24 Hours of Time Currency   One major way that we humans are equal is the gift of receiving 24 hours each and every day as our individual quota of time currency.  We have the personal power to choose how we will use and manage this time of life.   The personal choices we make to assume responsibility for how we each spend this time currency tends to reflect our values, beliefs, attitudes and contributes to making us unique and special individuals.    

Expectations Beyond the Holidays    Each day of our life allows us many choices on how we manage the numerous expectations we have placed on ourselves and the expectations we have accepted from others. While a daily occurrence for us, it seems that the holiday periods of the year allow these expectations to multiply and intensify.  Christmas may be the holiday season where we can most easily see these various expectations on full display.  

Psychological Intimacy   One of life's major challenges can be developing a true state of psychological intimacy with ourselves and others.  Much of our time is usually framed so that we are emotionally safe and comfortable with any psychological self-disclosure or connection.     Our interactions are usually scripted over the years and we practice them with little or no surprise from ourselves or others.  We tend to be careful in allowing ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable and to encourage others to be cautious in sharing their psychological nudity with us.    Psychological intimacy asks us to strive for openness, honesty, and trustfulness in some meaningful degree as we connect with the people in our lives. 

Our Differences Make A Difference   For many individuals, the stresses of our differences make a significant impact on their relationships.  Some choose to use the binary format of embracing only similarities or differences so that their relating to others can be easier.   Choosing to understand and integrate into our relationships the various degrees of our differences and similarities allows us maximum healthy interactions.  Embracing our individual differences with honesty and maturity affects us having a positive lifestyle.

Giving My Life A Good Name   Life is a gift that each of us is free to accept with healthy personal decisions or reject the burdens of "the shoulds", imposing "labels" on self and others or seeking to blame our circumstances on other people for the paths we choose.     We are also free to build the personal guidelines or foundations on which we wish to live this gift of life.   We have the individual power to re-decide our foundations if a change is needed to be healthy and happy.   One of the major challenges we each have is to decide the various locations we place ourselves on a continuum of life.   We can value ourselves for just being human at one end through assigning value only for what we do or do not accomplish during our life journey at the other end.   Answering the question of "Who am I?" tells us a great deal about how we personally choose to see this gift of life. 

Old and Still Helpful There are many ways for us to learn. One of the early ways that most of us discover is through the varied information that books can provide. Even though we now frequently tend to use electronic methods to read, the knowledge presented in a book format can still be most helpful with the many opportunities to acquire information. In our culture, we may be tempted to discount knowledge contained in books written many years ago. We may follow the belief pitched to us in the commercial world that newer is better. Since so much human behavior tends to remain consistent decade after decade, one can learn much referring to older books that are still insightful. This podcast introduces five books that have had a significant impact on the Life Journey of the host. A brief introduction to each is offered for your consideration.

Forgiving Self and Others The interpersonal difficulties in giving and receiving forgiveness can lead to challenges with our own self-esteem as well as offer win-win/lose-lose interactions with others.   In addition to being heard and understood by another human being, it seems many people are also seeking the behavior of forgiveness.   This forgiving behavior frequently focuses on giving and receiving between individuals.   Mental health professionals often find that the most difficult experience can be to forgive ourselves for some thought, feeling or behavior. 

Distortions to Clear Thinking It appears that almost everyone has some type and degree of distortion when it comes to thinking clearly about a life situation. This podcast has various possibilities to be evaluated. While the temptation may be to eliminate these handicaps, experience teaches us that we are usually more successful when we understand the distortions used in our own personal thinking and how we can learn ways to effectively manage that part of ourselves. None of us is perfect with our thinking or feeling; we generally do the best we can, one day at a time. The opportunity to learn change never seems to end.  

Self Talk The methods that we each choose to dialogue with ourselves can have a powerful effect on how we feel, think, and behave each day in our world.   The words that are chosen in our talks with self often frame our attitudes and abilities to view ourselves and others in a positive and healthy manner.    So many words can affect us on our self-image and the way we relate to others.  Examples of small words having a large effect are "if" and "but".   Introspection of our self-talk provides various ways we can understand and frame our choices for living our Life Journey.

Framing and Personal Secrets   One of the most powerful traits for humans is being able to frame and reframe our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on a continual basis.   Using the power of choice we are able to determine how we wish to perceive our lives and make changes when circumstances change.   Accepting personal responsibility for our choices can be a continuing life challenge regardless of our age and history.   Even when we freely assist others with our various personal gifts, encouraging others to retain ownership of their life choices is usually a healthier way for both of us.     There are many viewpoints within our society on the type and degree of personal information that is best to share with others.   Usually, the type of relationship and individual values determine our choices ranging from telling another "everything" by saying nothing or very little.   As with other areas of personal growth, each person is free to choose, frame and be responsible for what they do. 

Choosing a Counselor For Me   There can be times when we need an objective, competent and caring person to listen and offer guidance for the many and varied stresses of living.   Sometimes we need more than we can receive from family and friends.    Choosing a counselor is a very personal decision.  One may be lucky with the first choice they try or they find that finding the right person can be a long and challenging road.  Like many significant life choices, it helps to do extensive research on options that match one's own unique personality. 

Complex and Simple Thinking Communicating effectively with others generally remains a challenge for many of us throughout life. We are constantly evaluating what works and does not work for us.    Many individuals choose to view and experience their life through the binary system of thinking and feeling.  While many situations do fit this preference, many do not.  The adult world recognizes that we usually face a choice between using only a binary system or also accept the complexity and increased effort of using the prism of degrees.   We learn that there are often many answers or choices to the questions/situations we each face in life.   Our communication with others who choose only the binary approach can bring us many challenges.  

Call Me If You Need Anything   There are times when the speaker and listener hear different things even when the same words are used in similar or different situations.    "Call me if you need anything" is an example of where individuals may understand the words and their context in completely different ways.   As is usual in life, each person tends to hear what fits their personal understanding.  It can take effort to seek and understand the interpretation being used by another person.  

Letting Go   Season 4 of this podcast series begins by exploring an aspect of the life process we all experience during our life journey.   Each of us is confronted with life changes that require us to find healthy ways to let go of some aspects of our past and prepare to embrace the changes in our future.     We each find an individual path of letting go of memories, physical 'stuff', places, people, ages, etc.  If we are successful in letting go of some aspects of our past we can move more healthfully to live fully in the present.   You and I have only had 24 hours each day to manage the diverse aspects of our living; wishing for more or less does not change that we still have only 24 hours each day.   Finding the healthy balance of our past and our present as we prepare for the future increases our chances of an enjoyable and positive life.  

Hugheyisms   Developing personal guidelines was the focus of this live presentation in Atlanta, Georgia. Many people have found these guidelines to be very useful as they developed better relationships with themselves and with others.   The decision to call them "Hugheyisms" referred to his early teaching days when many of his students believed that his wellness psychology lessons frequently seemed to return to our challenges of developing personal guidelines for positive living. 

To Thine Own Self Be True   By the time we have become adults, our society has put forth great effort to teach us how to live as human beings.   We have been taught to be likable/lovable, responsible, communicative, mature, honest, develop expectations, how to learn, etc.   What "price" do we pay to meet the expectations that others strive to impose on us?   How much of our true thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors are we willing to pay to "fit in" these expectations?    

Listening: Gift of Love   Do you choose to offer the gift of love and caring to family, friends, and others through the gift of listening hospitality?   Do you seek to fully understand what another is saying or do you choose to be content with hearing only words?   Does your understanding of others allow you to reach beyond distractions like speech irritants, content choices, or the repeating of certain words or stories over and over again?   Do we only listen to others who meet our various expectations?   Your host believes we each personally choose to offer this listening gift of love to another in our own unique manner.  A pastoral letter from Texas is shared illustrating how significantly the gift of listening can affect the life of another.  This same letter also offers us a personal challenge to convey our gift of listening to others as well as learning how to really listen to ourselves. 

It's All About Me When one develops an interest in self-study, the most frequent beginning evolves with our perception of ourselves as the humans we are and how we choose to see the world in which we live.      In our own individual life, do we tend to meet our own personal needs before we are able and/or willing to be helpful with the others in our world?   Or will our own personal needs be met when we first focus on helping others?   Your host comments on how we each may find a healthy balance to assist others along with the need to take care of themselves. 

Telling Unpleasant News A listener question asking how to tell unpleasant information is addressed.   We each decide on the amount of risk we are able and willing to accept with ourselves and with others whenever we face such a situation.   Few persons appreciate receiving information "for their own good" regardless of our motivation. 

Creating My Personal Journal   A personal journal can be a unique, trusted, helpful, creative and intimate friend during our Life Journey.    Any journal we create is personal to us!   Questions and Points to Ponder (PTP) are offered for consideration in the diverse possibilities we each have with the creation and use of our journal.  These PTPs are similar to aspects we use in developing a friendship with another human.    A listener question asking how to tell unpleasant information is addressed.   We each decide on the amount of risk we are able and willing to accept with ourselves and with others whenever we face such a situation.   Few persons appreciate receiving information "for their own good" regardless of our motivation.   

Mind Games Management-Part 2   We all play various emotional mind games with ourselves and others.  We can strive to understand the invitations, structure, rules, and payoffs of various psychological games. We are then able to use our personal power to choose what games we do or do not play to strengthen the basic life position we favor for daily living.     This Power for Positive Living podcast was recorded from a personal growth class recently offered at a local senior center. 

Mind Games Management-Part 1   We all play various emotional mind games with ourselves and others.  Using the personality theory of Transactional Analysis (TA), we can strive to understand the invitations, structure, rules, and payoffs of various psychological games. We are then able to use our personal power to choose what games we do or do not play to strengthen the basic life position we favor for daily living.     This Power for Positive Living podcast was recorded from a personal growth class recently offered at a local senior center. 

Paying Relationship Prices   One of the most frequent wishes that so many have is to change another so that they are more like us in the way we see "reality".  It seems my world would be so much easier if others saw and did things my way.  It can be difficult to actually implement the guideline of "different strokes for different folks".      We may avoid trying to understand that relationships frequently involve learning about our ability and willingness to pay the various prices that interactions usually require.  Relationships that we value tend to require lots of work to create and then maintain. 

Expectations and Stress One life challenge that tends to remain the same over the years is the decisions that one makes in how he/she chooses to manage the many expectations and stresses of various holiday periods.    This brief radio interview has your host offering some factors for choosing options on WGBR, Goldsboro, NC, during the Christmas season of 1992.

Red Ink Thinking   "If I am 98% perfect in everything I do, it will be the 2% I remember when all is through."   Does this view of perfectionism fit you?  Your host shares his own experiences with this 'red ink' view of behavior.     

Psychological Ministry   Psychological ministry is the process of helping others using the concepts of Wellness Psychology.  Ministering to others using a psychological format offers information and support for strengthening one's emotional and physical health systems.   Psychological ministry often encourages the participants to be able and willing to participate in a "deep and open conversation" using the self-study process known as personal retreating.  Ministry encourages the presence of psychological intimacy of sharing our true selves with such books as "Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?".  

My Emotional Facade   Each of us creates and maintains an emotional facade to regulate how we choose to interact with our world and to utilize self-talk.     This personal system of filtering our emotions with self and others can be more 'open' or more 'closed' and protective according to our choices.   Like the clothing we wear, most of us utilize a layered emotional system that is thick and heavy when we feel the need for protection and light or almost non-existent when we feel safer.   Our choice for presenting ourselves to others is frequently based on 'what works' for us as well as the input we receive from others on what 'looks good' on us.   A better understanding of our personal facade system can be a healthy and essential aspect of self-study as we make choices for living a positive lifestyle. 

Loving and Being Loved   After watching the movie, "Wonder", your host continues an exploration of the basic question we each may face every day:  Is It All About Me?   If it is, what methods do I use and to what degree am I best able to coexist with others as I seek healthy ways to care about myself and others who are part of my world.   Exploration of self-concept is usually a crucial aspect of every personal retreating experience.   One of the critical questions frequently asked is what expectations do I carry into loving myself and others?   What expectations do I have for others on their ways to convey love to me?   How do I and another choose to confront and resolve the many differences that the process of loving and being loved can involve?

Who Are You?   From the moment we are born, you and I receive input from others on who they wish us to be and what labels they believe define us as 'normal'.   While most of these labels are applied to us in the context of caring and support, few of us receive encouragement to question these labels or to possibly re-label our self-image with current and more accurate terminology.  Wellness Psychology offers strong encouragement to inquire through self-learning about who we really are as persons today.  

Is Listening Still Loving? This podcast supports a previously released episode entitled: "Listening Is Loving". The belief is that regardless of the number of years which pass, listening to another is still an important way to demonstrate our love. A cornerstone belief of Friend Ship is that one of the most valuable gifts that we have to give another person is "listening hospitality", the process of seeking to hear and understand the totality of what another person is conveying to us. While words are the most frequent aspect used, one can also use visual cues, voice tone, affirmative touch, etc. Much of the Friend Ship program emphasizes active listening to others. There is also the acknowledgment that learning how to listen to our inner selves is a critical aspect of demonstrating self-love.

Our Passions and Beliefs Maintaining the various passions we often feel during our younger years can be a challenge.  As we live day after day, year after year, we may fall into the patterns of habituation.  Habits may become the motivation for our attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.   Examining these emotional and physical habits with passion is usually difficult for us.  This can be especially true if we do our confronting with the idea of making significant changes in these views that we have held for so long.  Unfortunately, many individuals settle into a victim mode and do not see that they are able to choose a different path for themselves.  

My Birthday Letter October is the month each year that your PFPL podcast friend and host celebrates his personal holiday of living this gift of life for another 12 months.   A letter is written to individuals who have contributed a significant presence to this Life Journey over many years.   The letter's goal is to share the current thoughts and feelings of the writer as well as lay the foundation for the adventures of the coming year.  

Friend Ship Sails Again Changing from the over-the-air broadcast method to an internet podcast role, Friend Ship Radio continues to offer the perspectives of wellness psychology.   New informational options will be offered for listeners to consider integrating into their personal life choices.   Dr. James Hughey, a retired counseling psychologist, introduces the philosophical and historical framework he will use with upcoming Friend Ship Radio podcasts.  

Bridging Friend Ship Radio Continuing the format change from episodes of over-the-air broadcasts to producing internet podcasting, your host is interviewed on this transition phase of sharing personal growth options.   Their conversation focuses on the changes and similarities over the years with wellness psychology.

Wellness Psychology Life Lessons   Your host concludes the radio broadcast segment of this Power for Positive Living podcast series with an introspective review of Wellness Psychology life lessons.    He observes some changes that have taken place during his past 27 years of living life as well as how many characteristics of human behavior have remained consistent.    There is a focus on the major factors which he has personally found to be most useful in developing positive life lessons for his own mental health system over the years of using Wellness Psychology.

Caring to Listen   Your host brings his listening ministry from Galveston, Texas to Goldsboro, North Carolina.  In this interview from WGBR AM 1150, he discusses the connection between Wellness Psychology personal-retreat principles and those used in clinical private practice counseling. Dr. Hughey firmly believes that caring to actively listen is the primary foundation of personal and professional counseling relationships. 

My Choices for Positive Mental Health   As the Power for Positive Living radio series moves on from KGBC broadcasting, the focus turns toward what your host has personally learned from his experience and adventure of offering wellness psychology concepts to others.    Any life experience is open for one to learn.  What each of us chooses to learn from whatever happens along our Life Journey has been and will continue to be a personal decision.  Change continues in our lives and each retains the power to choose our individual responses.    Johnathan Livingston's  "Seagull," writes that each of us has a duty to learn and seek the best for who we are.   While seeking knowledge is valuable for our individual development, each of us also has an obligation to share with others what has been learned for anyone who may choose to receive these gifts. The gifts we choose to give and the ones we chose to receive in our lives remains our personal decision.  Power for Positive Living has been an effort to share what your host has learned over the years. Each listener is encouraged to consider this knowledge and utilize any relevant portion of it within their own individual lives. 

Loving Friendships With Listening Gifts   One way we each can create loving friendships is by giving the gifts of listening hospitality.  When we love a person to the degree that they can truly be themselves without the burdens of perfectionism, we encourage the mutual gift of friendship.  This attitude of listening with others also allows us the opportunity to build a strong, positive and loving friendship with ourselves. 

The Friendship Mirror-Part 2 Our friendships are often the most important aspect of our personal mental health system.  Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves as we compose our Life Story and journey through life using the concepts of wellness psychology.  An awareness chart is offered for each of us to better understand our own unique personal 'Friend Print'.   This broadcast is one that allows an individual to learn and personally grow after the program is completed with techniques one can complete on their own.

The Friendship Mirror part 1   Our friendships are often the most important aspect of our personal mental health system.  Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves as we compose our Life Story and journey through life using the concepts of wellness psychology.  Our friends tend to be a reflection of how we see ourselves.   We tend to be selected as a friend to compliment others self-perceptions.   Constructing, understanding and learning from our friendship mirror allows us to be healthier human beings and can be one of the most important aspects of our personal growth.   Our friends tend to mirror who we are and we can offer back the unique gift of reflecting how our friends see themselves.  

Advice-Seeking Mind Games This broadcast PTP (Point to Ponder) involves the behavior of responding to someone who often seeks advice and then chooses not to implement it.   People seek advice from others for a number of reasons ranging from seeking confirmation of ideas (people do what they want to do) to seeking help from others to reinforce a perspective of neediness.   Psychological mind games can be played such as, "See, I told everyone that my problem could not be solved".   A significant point to ponder is for a helper to self-define what he/she sees as their role in encouraging others to seek healthy assistance.

Understanding Defense Mechanisms Your host discusses the following:  * What is a defense mechanism? What role do they serve? * What is a reaction formation? * What is projection? We strongly condemn in others what we can't admit about ourselves. * What is rationalization and how can we recognize it? * Is there a difference between a "good" reason and the "real" reason?

Learning Active Listening to Self Learning to actively listen is often a personal challenge. While most efforts are focused on learning to listen to others, the more challenging behavior is often learning methods to listen and hear one's self. Your host uses illustrations of the model: attitudes = feelings & thoughts = behavior. Many blame their behavior of being a life victim on the input from others. We each have the personal power to make individual choices that can determine our behavior. We are capable of learning new ways of feeling and thinking when we experiment and place ourselves into different situations, locations and have interactions with diverse people. A second possibility for self-study is to use the D-I-J method: Describe, Interpret, Judge Just having information about personal growth does not guarantee that a person will actually implement that knowledge to make healthy life decisions. Knowledge does not create change, taking action can.  

Listening is Loving (Part 2)   One foundation of Wellness Psychology is believing that listening is loving.   Some key aspects of developing a behavior and attitude pattern of listening to self and others include the following:  Listening is a gift that allows another to take what is inside them and bring it out in the open to be seen and understood more fully in a loving, non-judgemental atmosphere. Understanding that each of us has a different view of ourselves and our world, we can be loving by listening carefully to ourselves and each other.

Listening is Loving (Part 1)   One foundation of Wellness Psychology is believing that listening is loving.   Some key aspects of developing a behavior and attitude pattern of listening to self and others include the following:  One skill is the ability to ask myself whether I can tell someone what they have just said.  Was I truly listening to the degree that I really heard the words, saw the non-verbal language, felt the voice inflections and deeper feelings, able to put aside my own thoughts and feelings while seeking understanding, etc.? Dr. Hughey's personal guideline for interacting with others:  I am here to assist you with whatever you need to do for yourself. We like people who care to listen to us.   Active listening takes energy and effort.  It is far more than not talking. Even though our society values the powers that come from speaking, giving the rare gift of listening hospitality to another is a rare and valuable way of conveying our love. Most people like to talk about themselves first, then about their opinions/beliefs followed by talking about other people and last on their preferences is talking about you.  

The Grand March Through Life    One of the most frequent challenges a person can face is the process of developing a positive self-image and choosing positive ways of interacting with negative people.   This can be difficult for many of us, so personal choices that we each make about ourselves and others are offered.

Motivating Entrepreneurs Your host briefly discusses 8 significant traits that are often associated with entrepreneurs.    He encourages listeners to learn more about themselves using various introspection techniques and receiving external input.  Listeners are encouraged to utilize personal degree-gradation scales when engaged in any type of self-learning experience. 

Contrasting Viewpoints   Each of us has the ability to receive many viewpoints from others as we create and define our personal self-esteem.   During this broadcast, your host contrasts his views with those of John Leo to illustrate there are many ways for us to perceive the same thing.  Believing that no one-size-fits-all, listeners are encouraged to seek many different sources as they develop their individual path to see and value themselves. 

Do I Have Mental Disorder Prejudices?    One of the cornerstones of wellness psychology is acknowledging the power of choice that each of us has with personal prejudices. A key to a better understanding of who we are is learning how we choose our personal attitudes and expectations.   Your host discusses how specific perceptions of mental illness create our prejudices. Over the decades there have been myths that mental illness is caused by factors such as emotional weakness, bad parenting, sinful behavior or that the individual actually brings their mental illness on themselves.

Myths of Mental Health   Wellness psychology accepts that basically healthy people frequently have needs for assistance from others to better understand themselves and others.   About one in four persons will need some type of psychological assistance from another during their life journey to make healthy mental health choices.   Mental Health is defined on Friend Ship Radio and at the Personal Retreat Center as: positive interaction with life to the benefit of self and others.     Various mental health myths are discussed.  Our society often has difficulties with individual differences.  We like persons to be "individual" as long as they are also "normal". 

Points to Ponder With Richard Bach With three books, Richard Bach encourages our personal emotional growth by offering different points for us to ponder as each of us writes our Life Story.  The story of Johnathan Livingston Seagull encourages us to develop a standard of personal perfection for living our life and then take what we have learned during our individual journey and invite others to share.    "Illusions" is a book that encourages us to individually implement the commandment of being happy as we make choices to live the gift of life that is freely given to us.   The third book entitled One reminds us that we do make a significant difference in the lives of other people regardless of where we manage to land during our Life Journey.  

Successfully Choosing Behavioral Emotional Misery Your host responds to a book called How To Make Yourself Miserable by Dan Greenburg. This book is a parody of money/attractiveness to show how so many are successful in making themselves emotionally miserable.

Learning With Humor Two personal growth books by Abraham Twerski are discussed. These books have so much to offer individuals interested in personal growth that they are still available in print 30 years after this broadcast. Each book, When Do The Good Things Start? and Waking Up Just In Time provides various topics for each of us to ponder as we make the decisions on the life path we choose for ourselves. Points to Ponder (PTP) are made clearer, less threatening and more relatable through the power of using humor. These books liberally use the humor of Charles Schultz with his "Peanuts" gang.

Popular Culture Affects Our Life Choices   Your host responds to questions received on how we each choose our personal path to a positive lifestyle.  Reference is made to addressing family dynamics in an Ann Landers newspaper column.  Encouragement is offered to avoid working to be a 'victim' in life.   Accept the reality that one cannot change others; each is responsible for choosing a personal path to positivism. Also, Andy Capp's cartoon on marriage counseling illustrates the reality that it does take two to address interpersonal issues.

My Life Story is Me   Your host shares some thoughts on the power we each have for choosing the attitudes we place in our personal Life Story that we write each day of our lives.   Some topics covered for each listener to consider are: we each have a personal camera where we make choices on the "photos" we take to reinforce our view of our world. aids to bury the faults of our friends and the manner we choose to use our emotional magnifying glass.

My Life Novel Choices Your host switches from episodes that feature guests to a more personal approach for season two.  "Who am I?" is usually the basic question one often seeks to answer in life. The methods usually vary with the individual. Our mind and body give us powerful tools to explore new experimental options for healthy choices. Ann Landers, the newspaper columnist, conveys her choices for using words that are most effective in dealing positively with others.

Building Friend Ship For You The process of introducing the wellness psychology foundation of Friend Ship to the Galveston-Houston community continues with a spirited interview with Doug Johnson on talk radio KPRC, AM 950, in Houston, Texas.   Friend Ship evolves from an entertainment self-learning program offered on cruise ships at sea to the building of Friend Ship House in Galveston.   This interview stresses the unique feature of having individuals 'check out' from their daily lives, roles, and commitments to immerse themselves in a self-learning experiential and experimental individualized program within a land-based program.  Friend Ship also grew from Friend Ship at Sea and Friend Ship House to include a weekly personal growth radio program (Power for Positive Living) which debuted on Galveston's AM radio station, KGBC.

Choosing My Personal Life Journey, Part 2 This KGBC broadcast is an interview by Charles McCullough to better understand the history and evolution of your host's life story and his creating of Friend Ship as a wellness psychology ministry. 

Choosing My Personal Life Journey, Part 1 This KGBC broadcast is an interview to better understand the history and evolution of Friend Ship as well as its facilitator's personal life journey.   An interest in knowing the life story of James Hughey and his creating of Friend Ship as a wellness psychology ministry prior to its weekly broadcasting on KGBC in Galveston, Texas, will find this interview by Charles McCullough to be of interest.

Is This Really What I Want to Do?  Charles McCullough, Executive Producer for radio station KGBC (Galveston-Houston, Texas) is the guest who shares some of his history and personal views as he continues the active process of creating a self-developing person.  Charles discusses his belief that anyone can be an effective salesperson.  He projects the belief that each of us is 'selling' ourselves every day and one of the most valuable ways of relating well to others in developing the skills of learning how to actively listen.     

Dynamics of Talk Radio Mr. Todd Summers, a Communications Consultant, joins in the discussion of talk radio with your host as a genre of information and entertainment. They discuss how various formats and personalities are practiced on the air.  Power for Positive Living is offered as an educational example of "food for the mind".

Developing Community Self-Esteem   All communities are composed of individuals.  The process of building community self-esteem is similar to the process we each use to learn and strengthen our own individual self-esteem. Your host and two members from the Galveston Daily News discuss various approaches to how communities can develop more positive ways to strengthen the whole community by developing its parts.  Communities always have the power to focus on their positive or negative characteristics as they develop their group esteem.

Personal Spirituality and Religion Mrs. Cecile White-Holmes, Religion Editor of the Houston Chronicle, is the program guest for the evening.   The discussion includes the importance of learning about religious diversity in our world as we create our own personal system of religion and/or spirituality.   A brief concluding mention is made of the papal visit to Mexico by Pope John-Paul.

Spiritual Relationship Choices Wellness Psychology tends to encourage personal growth with focus on the emotional, physical, social and spiritual aspects of being human.  This radio broadcast of the Power for Positive Living radio series offers the viewpoints of Father Bob Flick for the listener to evaluate as they build their personal spiritual relationship with God either within or outside of an organized religion community.

Self Talk Coaching "Who am I?" is usually the basic question one often seeks to answer in life. The methods usually vary with the individual. Our mind and body give us powerful tools to explore new experimental options for healthy choices. Ann Landers, the newspaper columnist, conveys her choices for using words that are most effective in dealing positively with others. Casey Cheek, Director of Pathways in Galveston is interviewed. Spiritual and physical methodologies used at Pathways are discussed. The body, mind and spirit can be utilized in various ways for self-coaching and healing. Touch as a powerful method of experiencing healing and communicating affirmations to self and others is explored.

Inner Motivation to Develop Positive Attitudes James Rankin is the program guest of the week and discusses various approaches to personal motivation through self-examination and learning.  Various methods such as "act-as-if" are offered for one to consider. 

Active Personal Growth Responsibility   One of the foundations for Wellness Psychology is that each of us is responsible for our own individual patterns of personal growth into the person we are and whoever we may wish to become.   This KGBC broadcast radio conversation demonstrates the foundational concept that our personal growth patterns are an active never-ending process full of option choices.   

Small Business Ideas for Personal Growth On this episode of Power of Positive Living, your host welcomes special guest Mal Hunter from the Galveston Small Business Center to discuss the topic of small business development.

Defining Self-Identity with Sports Mike Bailey, Sports Editor of the Galveston Daily News joins your host to discuss the awesome power that our society gives sports to acquire values, attitudes, and behaviors during our personal growth into adulthood. Sports tend to reflect our society at home, school, church, work, etc., by teaching important values and attitudes. We learn much of how we see ourselves as individuals and as members of our society through the positive or not-so-positive experiences we have with the world of sports. We often choose to see ourselves and others as a result of mental 'silent tapes' of our previous experiences with sports. We often are not aware of how powerful these silent messages can be in influencing our positive and/or negative moods and behaviors long after the causation factors took place.

Understanding Adolescent In-Patient Psychiatric Treatment   Two staff members of a psychiatric hospital in Houston (Scott Kunkle/Danny Carr) discuss the in-patient psychiatric treatment that adolescents can expect to experience when they enter a psychiatric hospital program.   The various aspects of hospital psychiatric treatment are demystified.

Building Youth Self-Esteem Mrs. Sharon Saney, Director of Youth Ministry, Houston Diocese, is interviewed and shares some ways in which parents, teachers, peers, etc., can encourage and support the development of positive self-esteem in young people.     

Self-Esteem Foundations for Children There are many aspects for us to focus on in the field of wellness psychology. Building positive self-esteem within children supports wellness for adult mental health. Esteem for self is personal; each individual will choose what works for them to meet their various needs. Positive esteem in one's attitudes frequently leads to healthy feelings and behavior. Personal retreating is an intense introspective process with an emotional facilitator to better understand the choices one has made as a child or an adult to reach their current place during their Life Journey.

Challenging Self with Travel A continuing challenge for most of us is realizing that what is characteristic and normal of our own area of life is not necessarily the same all over our world. Travel allows us to experience the different viewpoints and behaviors that are norms in many places other than where we live. If we ever desire to better understand our own lives, travel challenges us to leave the familiar and experience the differences taking place elsewhere. This can be in the next state or on the other side of our planet. We can learn so much about ourselves when we travel and actively seek the experiences of interacting with different people and locations.

Self-Learning with New Experiences Your host believes in the value of having new experiences in living. Young people learn a great deal about themselves as they move from a safe home environment dependency to a world of independent living as an adult whether it be to college or employment. Mr. Charles Goodman, a student personnel specialist with Texas A&M, is interviewed.   

Writing My Life Story  Greg Moore completed a personal retreat and is interviewed.   He discusses how he used his personal retreat to take responsibility for clarifying where he has been in life, who he is today and possible choices to be faced as he prepares for his future.    His focus for writing his life story has been to reclaim his individuality, understand the power of labels and take the risks to experiment with various degrees of thought, feelings, and behaviors for possible change. His goals have been to reclaim his individuality, understand the power of labels and take the risks to experiment with various degrees of thought, feelings, and behaviors for possible change. 

Choosing A Personal Retreat This Power for Positive Living podcast series began in 1990 on Galveston-Houston radio station, KGBC-AM. The goal was to convey educational information about the new and unique introspective personal retreat programs offered at Friend Ship House. Rev. Bill Clark was the first guest interviewed. He describes how he spent two days, totaling 12 hours, with his own personal retreat. He shares his individualized experience of what he learned from the process and how others might decide if a personal retreat would meet their needs.

Dare To Be Yourself This is a brief episode of a TV interview with your host about the value of personal retreating.