Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker

Venturing once again into environmental law, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker haul in their newest international client, Recycling Deposed! While attempting to depose the client, they also discuss Facebook postings, quandary, genius whiskey, Samuel Coleridge, they always leave, abasinthe, deliver happiness, mis-mammal, secret Burgerville recycling lore, drunken ranting, conveyor belts, chucking stuff, shirako, Canadians are great, Mandy Patinkin, North Korea, Nooo!, Gandalf, Bennigans, Aspergerville, pinkie promise, De La Soul, Houses of the Holy, putting pudding, Ambien and tequila and intro envy.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker transition into November by addressing a client each fake lawyer has problems with, Your Daddy Has Daddy Issues. During the deposition, they elaborate on Alabamya, more work, Barry White, healthy as a clam, heroin everyday, Pioneer Chicken Stand, Warren Zevon, transy, Tremors, narcissist weirdo, rascals, schmendrick,  transcendental nature of time, Brave New World, Charles Dickens, the Barbarossas, spawned a child, Genghis Khan, go frites go, big butt ants, Buckaroo Banzai, Oingo Boingo, Galactus, sphincter power, Kolchak The Night Stalker, special Jaeger tap and Lil' Flator.

With an unplanned intervention, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker welcome a real crisis counselor yet fake guest lawyer Scott H. Silverman who takes Greg under his wing for a chat, while glancing at Brendan and Matt for potential talks. They talk about xyz, Monopoly money, ouija board, underlying issues, unlicensed pharmacist, hallucinogens, El Chapo, superlabs, a whole week of blackouts, undercover convention, Mr. T, jenkem, Zambian youth, kumbayuck, spazzicity, it's Latin, uncontrollable lunatic, kill the monkey, coffee snobs & tent cities, Travis Bickle, avoiding celebration, Training Day and reality sucks.

The Law Offices of  Quibble, Squabble & Bicker welcome a new guest fake attorney from the same fake law firm  that last week's guest was from, Last House On The Left. This time, Marc Sheffler is helping tackle the client, Life Is Horror & You're Horrible Redux. Unfortunately, the client is just as ignored as last week so instead they talked about Don Rickles, wizened, kombucha, adlibbery, latter day saints, London Lee, a poor green child, Roger Ebert, ball tickling moment, Mean Joe Greene, brooding writer, Snakes, blame the work, Jackie Gleason, clothes come off, mostly microbial, Paula Poundstone, headed to Havana, the Three Stooges, Mr. Big Ship, Fangoria, city for snobs, Once And Future Smash and habeas coitus.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker are entranced by their newest guest fake lawyer, Jeramie Rain Dreyfuss who doesn't help at all with the client, Life Is Horror And You're Horrible. The client is sadly fully ignored during its paid hour. Instead the discussion veers toward Richard Dreyfuss, Agent Orange, now you're dead, now I'm gay, parlay, Charles Manson, pedophilia husband, a hot hippie, Meme Wars, Dan Savage the sex guy, CineVegas, Mel Brooks, beat me, Terri Garr, Alex Jones, low budget hilarity, an accomplished guest, self-loathing, potted plant, extra drunk, idiot children and Peter Pan.

Kicked off of TikTok livestream for the third time, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker tackle a malevolent force by addressing the client, Mother  Nature Hates You. One of the following subjects made TikTok very unhappy:  Tepid Zephyr, Six Hundred Dollar Man, on a bus, Ranger Rick, Sylvia Plath, bridge troll, some kind of fauna, dust devil, power to lift a dog, Tasmanian Devil, tumbleweed, trucker speed, everything is nature, phallic argument, Big Hunk, Charleston Chew, the Upside Down, a collection of penises, stretching natural, Homer Simpson, eat teflon, cancer sandwich, hobos on fire, ass holiness and it's a brick.

Deciding on a full exploration of the world around them yet not following through with it, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker tackle a topic for the generations, specifically Generation Whatever.  Beginning with giant generations, they then talk about  alters, Tourette's TV, cute kittens,  leave my  thing out of it, F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Lost Generation, every nerdy thing, latchkey generation, Big Chief Kahuna, Chevy Chase, corrupt Marylanders, Major Drunk, Davy Crockett, War Of The Roses, Rampage, eating mud, LSD episode, a little aggressive, poultice, transcendental, Franklin Roosevelt, the Spanish Inquisition, queen of all lizards, old people suck, Christopher Columbus and generation now.

Rarely do fake guest attorneys return to the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker (for reasons that should be obvious) so it is a great coup to welcome the return of veteran character actor, Larry Hankin.  You might recognize him from recurring roles in Breaking Bad, Seinfeld and Friends, which gives him valuable insight in addressing our client, Sitcoms ON TRIAL.  While promoting his book The Loopholes Dossier,  his doggedness brought the following concepts to light: Sometimes Jones, dickish, the Pontiac of cohosts, boogie Ramadan, that was hard, Gandalf Street Magic, ready for Google, Larry Hankin's penis, wife swapping, an insertion slot, China Woman, Lee Strasberg, Vince Gilligan, monkey business, bartendress, Bavarian Pine Vole, pancake soup, Curb Your Enthusiasm, the Penguin, Bojack Horseman, Poor Richard's Almanac and no splash.

As the weather turns from summer to fall, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker pay that no heed as they instead address the issues of their newest client, Odd Jobs, Con Jobs & Corn Cobs. While dressing for a lack of success, they give attention to Eager the Beaver, Ikea, Divorced Dude Depot, Paul Bunyan, the cow option, black zinc, Ambien Taco Guy, little people guys, fluffers, my personal Holocaust, She-Ra, womanly shoebox, paper towel sniffer, pick worms out of the sky, death by water slide, cardboard engineer, aquanaut, ricin, Trumpeter, Tucker Carlson and road salad.

A very special guest fake co-counsel Stanley Livingston, former child star of the legendary sitcom My Three Sons, enters the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker to examine the client, Geeks, Dweebs & Nerds. Just prior to interrogating the client, they discussed hip and trendy, bougie brunch gig, fast food bags, catered by crows, How The West Was Won, maniacal assistant director, Fluker's, William Frawley, I Love Lucy, human green screen, Smokey & The Hotwire Gang, explicit gore, My Three Daughters, Cinerama, cranky training, Richard Nixon, Celebrities for the President, Harry Styles, Uncle Charlie's Chili, the Putz Spectrum, freak not a geek, Merrick Garland, clunky and Betty Crocker.

With Brendan missing again, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker tackle the client, Every Day Is A Holiday after talking with their guest, veteran comedian Keith Ross Nelson. They pursue many details that eventually involve gold, diamonds, 5,273 cats, Batangas, Iron Maiden, multi-colored vomit, Bong Bong, high jumping, Bowerman's waffle iron, the hater'd, Prefontaine, comedic license, the Viagra, snake wine, woden, Romance languages, Tang, Pepe Le Pew, Mexico is cancelled, Jews smell like chocolate, Uncle Fester cosplay, eat the puppy, Speedy Gonzalez and doggie alarm clock.

On a secret quest to destroy a magic goblet in the sun near Alpha Centauri, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker are approached by a new client, Elves With Lasers. Even fantastical creatures are greatly ignored by the fake lawyers as they also discuss malodorous fluid, Church of Some Other Assholes, Banksy, tantric sex, deal with morons, Top Chef, trustafarians, Gandalf, The Fifth Element, David Brin, Greg Bear, Dune, Dark Horse Comics, kung fu assassin, Portland lore, Alex Jones, tiger blood, Madame Bovary, international vampires, American History Q, non-hateful genocide, cuntrarian, didgeridoo, Conan the Barbarian, bush eater and marry your mom.

Following a nutty, seedy, fruity rabbit hole, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker investigate how nuts are fruits and how fruits are vegetables in order to give appropriate legal advice to their client, That's Nuts Ya Fruit! They also address racists for refugees, the Mud People, The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, a thing for lepers, U.S. Supreme Court, the Forest Service, all chipmunky, Buck Rogers, Sylvester Stallone, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, pig's blood cake, Cyclotrons R Us, rub your armpit hair, Big Roo, The Birds, Pinko Petix and  the crows took over.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker continue their rousing old time when saying goodbye publicist extraordinaire Eileen Shapiro and focusing on special guest Ike Avelli in the conference room. After Eileen takes her leave, they elaborate on Uber Lube, stick your fingers in the butter, Deliverance, Highlander, get busy living and get busy dying, ugga bugga, Oprah Winfrey's movie list, three fat straight guys, deserted office park, a Buffett list, it was huge, rough trade, wildebeest, nostril enlarging, masters of the universe, Beard Arthur, kinda sounds like me, hut in Ethiopia, Terry Crews, porker, famous cubes, The Brady Bunch, Xena, Sleestaks were intriguing and replace my right foot.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have a rousing old time when bringing in publicist extraordinaire Eileen Shapiro and unannounced special guest Ike Avelli to the conference room. What starts as a ho hum meeting turns an interesting corner as they talk about Diana Ross, Jewish-Japanese hero, Annie Lennox, Star Trek manual, a size queen, the prostate of a Klingon, Chris Pine, Precious Little Devils, George Takei, cruise them both, Pope of Greenwich Village, Adam Carpenter Ant, moist and dewy, Boise, more like a weasel, demure & innocent, suspended from TikTok again, Teeny Weeny the Clown, marmoset population, cover boy, smooth hair and Gilbert Gottfried.

It was a dark and stormy night somewhere in the world but not where the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker deposed their most global client, A Pocketful Of Climate Change. Join in madness and listen to them discuss uncle under the trailer, mugged by starfish, HBOSlacks, granddad jokes galore, Uncle Frank, a giant warning label, unexplored places, a trend in kneecap, TikTok is listening, Trump supporter stepdad, Buttlick, Alabama, I got no snowballs, better sex parties, Italy, Straits of Gibraltar, swarthiness, zero percent milk, foreskin conspiracies, how math works, The Naked Sociologist, punky metal, witch people, ethical serial killers, Taco Hut, road warrior weird and Weird Van Yankovic.

With Brendan's recent arrival to his new temporary home in Portland, Oregon, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker examine a new client, Culture Shock-a Khan. The deposition covers Greg's sweaty nipples, the dropsy, chicken and bees, smart mart, rickets, patriotic pants, Circle Jerks, baby alligator, stink eye, Thelma & Louise, Wong Foo, Patrick Swayze, feather boa, Wesley Snipes, hi grandfather, John Leguizamo, chocodile, face diaper, anti-Pfizer, little spit horse, glazed appearance, Bitch Tits Society, gabba goo, terrorism was a thing, Elvis Costello, reverse bris, Boris Badanov, Captain Pickles, New York elitist, Bong Bong Marcos, gelatinous moose nozzle and giant naked blue wildebeest.

In a rare circumstance where bad humor takes a back seat to a semi-intellectual discussion, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker (minus Brendan who is prepping for his move to Oregon) entertain author and cultural anthropologist Dr. Dan Chodorkoff by discussing his newest book, Sugaring Down and also discussing Brazilian hair removal, Viet Nam, seductiveness violence can have, U.S. imperialism, ho ho ho Chi Minh, more morons, Margaret Mead, computerphobic, the Enlightenment, Trump the douchebag, target the weakest, try fascism, anarchist squatter, tapeworms, antifa mob, patchouli, hepcats, Covid-1, John Lennon and put more monk sweat on it. 

Having had enough of exciting clients, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker take a break to unburden themselves with a simple client, Small Talk and Small Minds. They casually extract information like Fox News, smuggler f--ks, Saltine crackers, Tourette's, the monster from Florida, thirst traps, beep boop, big talk, Toblerone, marzipan, Laffy Taffy, Lemonheads, I'm a Skittles guy, heavy metal werewolves, okay Sara, steamer trunk, color flavor, local glaciers, round robin, vampire hellscape, Arctic Monkeys, blue brush people, Ant-Man, Lebron James and giant garlic balls.

The three non-lawyers embrace their next client, Video Games Killed The Pinball Star with a verve never before seen...not really. Instead they deliberate Beep Boop, pachinko, André The Giant, one thousand monkeys, Bad News Bears, Dig Dug, Down Under Kong, gravity well, ghost missiles, joystick & a button, 16 bit boobies, Oscar Wilde, ferret and pelican, Iowa hurricanes, Martian hemlock, spaghetti tacos, Blame It On The Sake, the gerbil dies, Sim wormhole and a tiny bit of squabbling.

Kicking off their newest season, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker bring on a new guest counsel to tackle the client, The Ways You Are Stupid. Comedian Daniel 'Papi' Gonzalez engages the trio with discussions about Kissimmee, daddy, we're not funny, a day job, car jack, digging for that penis, shoulders of giants, the stench, do normal things, regular fat, MAGA hat, stalkerish, jizz money, Blind Melon, lacrosse, a hurricane story, gay English, Bad Bunny, occasionally racist, mofongo, you die you die, city ordinance, Home Depot, Memento, the Gitmo app, Papi's Papi's puppy, Danny Glover, a basic form of A.I., Magic Mountain, Che Guevara and my mom made paella.

In commemoration of the second anniversary of the podcast Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker, a host of stars came together for the second annual Step Up To The Bar Association Legal Conference & Awards Banquet to receive the highly coveted yet unknown Quibbly Award! The cohosts were Brendan Haggerty, Greg Petix and Matt Bratschi and a multitude of recipients across North America arrived to receive their Quibblys.  Some awardees included: filmmaker/playwright Marc Morales, author and sex educator Dr. L. Kris Gowen, rap star Twizm Whyte Piece, actress Shanna Toft, comedian Jason Pollock and many others!

As we reach the final episode of season 4, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker make a lame attempt at fake criminal law when helping the client, Those Who Pry Thighs Choose Lies. They bog their arguments down by instead discussing borts and glorts, narcissism in action, tangenital, nude wrestling, pierced sacks, consensual prying, Gary Busey, Rip Taylor, confetti, Greg-O-Matic, caveman club, Jean Claude Van Damme, they're morons, Steven Seagal, Under Siege 2, no name actor, when the witch coven gets him, the Sphincter, Stephen Miller, vampire kid, his head is a ham, you've got bugs, Steve Smiter and the Israels and Spotify.

Murderous clients are no strangers to the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker and today is no different when the client, Gun Control Is Fun Control, enters their chambers. As they determine their best course of defense, they discuss the Quibblys, processed turkey ovals, Tamarindo Mexicali, Canada is like Sweden, every gun gets a vote, old bullet parts, kill someone in a haunted house, Jack the Ripper, Americans are crazy, don't disrespect the dart, Thomas Jefferson, snorting cocaine and gunpowder, Dick Van Dyke, horchata, Michael Bolton, courtesy from mass murderers, Turkish bots, Fecal Court, Elmer Fudd hat, patriotic pants, Altoid his ass, Charlton Heston and serendipity deer.

In a pathetic attempt at rhyming, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker trawl and catch a brand new client, Ports of Sports Thwart Jorts. As they determine the most effective means of representing this client, they brainstorm about Greedo, white hegemony, Pinterest, Hall of Justice, Norm McDonald, cultural appropriation, poop bars, frisbee golf hooligans, Highlander, Martin Scorsese, non-smarty pantses, a football port, Rocky, Big Bone Lick, whipped sour cream, zamoboner, The Warriors, body dysmorphia, Hornet Greg and John Madden.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker are preparing themselves for interstellar legal clientele while working with their first off-world client, Are You Ready For Alien Sex?  As they carpe diem, they also converse about UFOs and UAPs, collusions, Black Lives Matter, Tucker Carlson, defund the police, marsh gas, Alien Ant Farm, mountains are our overseers, probing hillbillies, Neil Young, Jim Beam, cornpone, eye jizz, Cthulhu, Avatar, space cows, H.R. Giger, laser spoons, old babies, William Shatner, little bug girl, provocative overalls, 40 acres and a mule, Pete Davidson, alien sex court, Johnny Knoxville and alien rape.

Reveling in the return of Brendan, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker celebrate by playing a game with their newest client, Kill, Marry or Fornicate Your Pork. Many words are bandied about including only fetish wear, dungeon master, culinary stuff, pocket rocket, the Black Hand, deliver happiness, a cell fern, Sir Richard Burton, fancy pants, drink dirt, Spy Smasher, talking nipples, a chub, Viet Nam in the 80s, they killed the poop baby, bodies are appearing, the Young Abortionists, Back Alley Boys, Charles Bronson, lutefisk and crocodile duet.

Delving into the controversies of the day, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have a conflated client in the form of Roe Vs. Wait A Minute Amber Heard That! While developing the fake case they discuss SCOTUS Seltzer, Don King, Politico, Julian Assange, Jersey Shore, so many woman, a lapsed Catholic, Fat Cat In The Hat, sea monkeys, menthol bourbon, goat rodeo, pygmy marmoset, tumescent orange, Pendleton Roundup, Yellowstone, Timothy McVeigh, The Gong Show, vaginal whatever, the weasel inside your throat, horseradish parts, Bazooka Joe, Only Fans comic books, Baltimore Hillbillies, Bill Chain Link Fence, ferret legging and enjoy the soup.

Finally, after months of inoperation, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker sees the return of their third partner while they discuss their newest client, The Case Of The Missing Brendan. The conversation veers into the topical and mundane when they discuss Twitter, Elon Musk, Pleeps, Allan Sherman, Brendan is back, adrenaline shot, unincorporated square, Baltimore hillbillies, rabbit hole, Covid, Voicebox, fargin' bastage, blood of Protestants, Rachel Maddow, the Incredible Shrinking Greg, fluctuating, Jane Fonda, MK Ultra, insectoid, Nelson Mandela effect, Rock Lobster, cream sherry, Ask Jeeves, Mike Tyson, banned from TikTok, Bill Burr and Listen Notes.

In the second of a special two part series, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker continue the minor fake legal strategy session and revisit Matt's lack of friends while also helping the client, The Orchestra of Evil (and Emptiness), with guest fake attorney and author of the book One Nation Under Song, Dr. L. Kris Gowen. They also investigate Bob Seger, some weird American, Steve Martin, the Newfies, Team Arkansas, don't have good words, Science on Tap, science songs, themes are fun, her left leg is my friend, that was the scabies, NFL, Diner, Blind Lemon Picasso, Bonnie Tyler, clarity and veracity, honky cat, eating his gun, Jesuits, four brown shirts, Sid the Sexist, tits up, Texas Instruments, family for the night, Trump won and skeevy weirdos.

In a special two part series, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker hold a minor fake legal strategy session and uncover their origins while also helping the client, The Orchestra of Evil (and Emptiness), with guest fake attorney and author of the book One Nation Under Song, Dr. L. Kris Gowen. Together they address jangalang, Piggy Stardust, what does that mean, whipped it up, Dementia 101, empty orc, Klingon karaoke, George Orwell, just simpatico, Milli Vanilli, there is birds, flambee a swan, I'm a dwarf, Juice Newton, teledildonics, elderly country dude, Goldschlager, goosestepping, Tiny Tim, the Muppet Show, karaoke mafia and stretch out that yodel.

Part two will air next week!

Returning to their roots, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker get in some extra squabbling and bickering when they deal with their newest client, You Just Don't Care. If you ever wanted to know what they're all about, this is probably the evidentiary trial they've held as they talk about Ant My Problem, Ground Force, look at the post office, he's like Ant-Man, Pied Piper, look at me, Henry VIII, he lives in the future, fix your computer, I'm Fred Flintstone, Doom Patrol, no prize pig, be their patsy, pheromones, what defines hot sex, sprayed spittle, a side of politician, stick a chicken on it, top of the waffle, persnickety, feeling this urge, Angie Dickinson, real men don't cry, choose to be with wheelbarrows, flipper babies, pencil fighting, we aped it, Reefer Madness, horizontal dancing, Pac Man and get me a funnel.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker venture into dark territory when their client, Take This Job and Gently Insert In Your Rectum, finds a hole in their logic and makes them discuss Dodgy Daycare, Johnny Two Nose, Good Fellas, concrete Keds, must find grub, Buddy Holly, cook their lettuce a club club, Gorg, Ugg, Zog, Zod and Zed, pterodactyl tea, like the bear thing, Rasputin was a robot, Mystic Grifter, Marilyn Manson, Tennessee tick soup, all they had were varmints, mad squirrel disease, blowing into his jug, pro-lynching, drain 'em and chunk 'em, Netflix, Will Smith, The Purge, Billy Crystal, labia, merely a monkey boy, human protein and really drunk right now.

As fake lawyers, Matt and Greg (and the on-sabbatical Brendan) often take their pretense to a point of not taking fake legal stances at all. This newest client, Singin' Outta The Box, is also not given the proper attention by the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker. Instead of addressing the lawsuit the client is embroiled in, they instead discussed TwinkerBell, William Shatner, all about fairies, scullery maids, shooting stars, they just got old, rub my nipples, Ellen Degeneres' Coffee House, the Zoom pumpkin, Battle Hymn of the Frickin' Republic, Taylor Swift, microcephalic, a gigantic brain, walrus baby, Tom Waits, Susquehanna Hat Company, best hair in music  history, goat in his throat, barking dog metal, dad joker, Ray Charles, mittball, red rubber ball, maggot hat, Weezer, Dexter, Westworld, Jeffrey Wright, water piano, tangerine elephant and Branson, Missouri.

The incredibly unathletic and uncoordinated partners of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bickerfind various ways to relate to their newest client, Five Finger Exploding Spleen Technique, that needs the full mental capacity of the entire fake law office to address green vomit, there is no if, TikTok is stupid, savate, Greg is on a boat, sex hammock, nail 'em in the crotch, West Side Story, Kung Glu, numb chucks, ninjitsu, Thievery Corporation, goldenrod, beat up the jocks, Street Fighter, those stretchy guys, a nice inkwell, their martial art was sarcasm, Jackie Chan, pan-to-hand combat, The Yellow Kid, Hair Fu. spleenometer, Jet Li, Gymkata, circus ringmaster, WWE, fend off those pumpkins, Cynthia Rothrock and some special gay martial art.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have entered entertainment law by compiling a list of the top five million television shows of all time minus about 4,999,997. The deposition took longer than normal as they encountered sandworms, sleestak, C.H.U.D., Earth Force, until life changes, Herman's Head, actor dude, the world of Baltimore, Newark, Gunsmoke, Star Blazers, Walker: Wedding Planner, a historical sitcom, useless human, a cunning plan, off the housewives, a psychotic kitchen, Bryan Cranston, Room 222, Schitt's Creek, ridiculously weird, my little person friend, zoom-O-lantern, one episode with a boobie, Flight Of The Conchords, metric Fahrenheit, toad-in-the-hole, Bugs Bunny, Horsey Bob, did it with a broomstick, The Mandalorian, Archie Bunker, 60 Minutes, Clarence Thomas, Fargo, Seth Rogen, I'm Omega Man, costumes by Divine, jumped the shark, his egg powers and a peon.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker take on an international legal client in their non-lawyer way when new client, I Can See Clearly Now Ukraine Is Gone, stumbles through their doors. John Vorhaus, author of the Little Book on Stand Up, provides insight from his time in Russia as a contributing fake lawyer as they talk about Sid & Nancy, Krakatoa, Joust, the little book of anal cysts, a podcast slut, they lost their maps, turn Covid down, cat house, J.D. Salinger, information authority, Word Perfect, walk on stilts, fear barriers, we're children, dog chow, Gravy Train, the restraining order, Morton's Salt, the Carthaginians, quintuple penetration, Greg the Meh, big man stuff, The Theorists, apple people and the Russian Wavy Gravy.

A potential for real crime in a hole in the ground drives a brand new client to the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker while Greg and Matt tackle Ten Steps To Be A Spelunking Junkie. This client causes a lively discussion about Space Force, Alderon scabies, gleep glop, Jules Verne, the Burp Force, potholing, vaudevilleans, that chocolate habit, one slave in every bite, alien planet, Walt Disney World, Green Arrow, Richie Rich, a dog butler, Harvey Pekar, tweakers, try meth today, the Hulk, punky junkies, John Carpenter, REI, don't forget the shallots, unhandy man, autobahn, that's physics, Sammy Hagar, harrowing, junk apparatus and snakes are not real.

With Brendan still on sabbatical, it is up to the senior partners of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker to take over new clients like Teddy Bear's Freedom Convoy and give them the best fake legal advice possible. Issues addressed were last responder, ringy dingy, Smokey and the Bandit, CB Savage, incredibly homophobic, Greg Evigan, fancy monkey, Clint Eastwood, ninjas, Gilligan's Island, cowboy hat, fun party night, catfishing truckers, give ya a lube job, alchemy, Justin Bear Trudeau, monkey menu, imaginary rabbit, talking kitten, Speed Racer, a retired Pope, Flossing with Matt, lighthearted racism, Polish hosen, black rice pudding, an impingement, lusty legal term, Minority Report, slippery and slopey, Lech, fun cougars, quirky trucker monkey, Metropolitan Museum of Monkey Art, pygmy marmoset, nobody wears a hairnet, ten saltines, Dad joke of the day, lot lizards and the Beyonce of crack whores.

Current events overtake the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker when Joe Rogan's recent shenanigans cause him to inadvertently help the client, Is Joe Rogan Racist or A Big Stupid Dummy?, walk into the conference room. Paranormal romance and urban fantasy author Melissa Sercia stops by but does not offer legal advice while also helping out by discussing mental strobe lights, immortal billionaires, underbelly world, lots of sex, Anne Rice, robot vampires, Spock, Paul Bettany, Stephen King, Children of the Corn, a hobbit in your well, revenge, blood magic, grey beast, they kill, billionaire werewolf, dryad, nutria, vampire poop, her womanhead, boondoggled, Michael Jackson, mystery minute rats, monster lawyers, Planet Of The Apes, Proud Boys, India.Arie, the n-word, Elvis Costello, sounds like ninja, Super Devil, sometimes you gotta jaywalk, the KKK and idiot drunk.

On a drizzly Portland day, two behemoths square off under the restless eyes of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker. This is a never before seen event as the client is MCU Vs. MC Hammer. While ensuring no low blows are enacted, they have a powerful discussion regarding Dynamic Hero U, self help, super team, X-Men, sleeping with a groundhog, the Falcon and Redwing, Peking duck, evil mastermind father, cookie puss, bug people, Wakanda, vibranium vibrators, Prostate Boy, Karen Black, alien eraserhead, WandaVision, nostalgia buttons, Green Gobbler, return of dirt boy, mud toddler, Hugh 'Stumpy' Jackman, Puck the dick puncher, Glenn Danzig, squirting blood on a hotdog, Cyrillic, gray aliens, Geocities, Alta Vista, soapbox derby helicopters, Little Reptilians, step-children will be mules, sweet cockeye, sonic gerbil, Beppo the Super Monkey, Organ Grindr app, Beebo, philatelist and Screaming Chuy.

Things get mildly serious at the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker when trans activist and musician Ryan Cassata enters the conference room to discuss his new music and then delves into lizard people tracking nanobots, the Rothschilds, iTunes, trip hop, serving the community, only one in Long Island, Larry King, Dr. Drew, girlie toy, Matt's schizophrenic monologue, my gigantic nose, Tyra Banks, teachers bullying, sing about oppression, a music lawyer, Gandhi, naked drum circle, Sterno, Salvador Dali's cookbook, tastes like trailer parks, sunglasses and checkered shirts, Frank Sinatra, oompah bands, Robert Plant, cool tight pants, Elvis and his leather, fooferah, Sex Pistols, boomer Juggalos, Ren and Stimpy, a garage nerd, gimpy, stapled to my gator's head, the horse bank, alligator bus, the Plasmatics, rock and roll climbing, Linkin Park and slow lightning.

On a wet and dreary late afternoon, a ray of brightness shines itself into the conference room of the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker in the form of New York City-based singer/songwriter Luka James. Sadly, he was unable to transform into a guest faux lawyer yet still engaged with two of the three senior partners to discuss Critical Face Theory, Janeway, Planet of the Ernest Borgnines, mint julep, peanut gallery, bad rubbish, my inner self, cycle of life, a lot of authentic love, a baby and a toddler, Greenwich Village, doctor person, Fresh Air Collective, Viet Nam County, Aloha, Bleeker Bob, orange goose, Bobby McFerrin, Bard College, polyamory, singing banjo, light moisture, squinty, Radiohead, Chet Baker, effeminate men, elvish voices, Robert Plant, Nick Drake, very environmentalist, comparison is the thief of joy, possum blood, Morgana Van Peebles, dream pop, battered husbands, whisk in the tears, unlegal, dog law, Stephen Soderbergh, Soylent Green, Dead Li, The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars, District 9, 1984, superpowered balloon, Jungian subconscious and strapping young buck. 

Venturing into international legal issues, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker obtain a client sought by none yet that has affected so many: Genocide Schmenocide. This client required Greg, Brendan and Matt to learn a little bit of history and then ignore that very same history as they ended up discussing Mr. Clean, mystical vision, Alex Jones, his head is so small, Uzbeks, SCTV, hillbillies of Russia, Israelstan, slavery is still legal, the peoples of the blacks, property of the white folks, in vino veritas, John Candy, Wikipedia Jones, Josef Stalin, fresh beautiful water, Martin Short, meth dinosaurs, individual Polands, Kanye West, the Parsley Massacre, Rohingya, California genocide, Pol Pot, Maus, Narnia, Myanmar genocide, Ukraine, salamander, baggie thingie, hooties and the tooties, Idi Amin, Onanism and lap dances are different than genocide.

The Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker kick off the new year and Season 4 with the incredibly famous Buzz Lightyear. Well, not really, it's just a pseudonym for a friendly cybersecurity expert but together all of them engage in all sorts of fake legalese like jolly scamps, Falco Manhattan, Slightly Flaccid, gender fluidity in rodents, duck blood, dubstep, taste the suffering, homeless wizard, Misfit Plant, Pong, Sea Hunt, Battle Zone, the jumping thing, public dick, heats up my bones, Burmese Python, Star Trek chat rooms, slash fiction, Zionism, Romulan Catholic Church, towers for the vultures, AWS and Azure, Ted Talk, midnight football, water buffalo spit, the dark web, ukelelist, emotional support jellyfish, cuddle a cuttlefish, fecal matter, Johnny Cash, my 50 pound toe, chocolate coins, beep bop boop, CPAP, Matthew Broderick, Simba, Andy Dick, the golden kids, Alka Seltzer, death cult, Ascension Day and My Little Pony.  

On the cusp of the New Year, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker watch two of the partners (Greg and Brendan) vacation for the final client of 2021, Our Fear In Review. Coming to the rescue are two guest co-counsels Sanchez El Dorado from Happy Hour News Team and Nick Taber from Movie Theater Time Machine. They proved capable at discussing at length many issues including fear, homemade whiskey, lucky idiot, Snoop Lion, Robert DeQueero, anxiety, Rhode Island, oblate, pizza loves me back, Misfit Markets, slightly blemished fruit, the KKK, internment camp, Obama, miscegenation, Reddit, TikTok, Casablanca, Concrete Cowboys, Leland Sklar, James Taylor, covid vaccine, less dead, the spirit molecule, give up the pork, deep fried fish scales, JFK, Jr., Plan 9 From Outer Space, Bruce Vilanch, first responders, incest in Iceland, John Velasco, new English kid, near death experience, clown motel, one amazing fart joke, Sharknado, misheard lyrics, President Biden, Spotify and collective consciousness, these three heads and trapping koalas.

Milk and cookies have no place at the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker at the consultation of this week's client, I Saw Mommy Pegging Santa Claus, when two well-educated guest fake lawyers arrive to provide appropriate counseling. From the podcast B4USwipe, Dr. Kris Gowen and Dr. Lauren Lichty provide their unique perspectives on numerous important matters including catfish dancing, Gary Busey, Spuds McKenzie, peach seeds, wild crazy anarchists, love theme from Commie land, UB40, bus wipe, Guided by Tight Pants, played bagpipes, red pill person, Boxcar Willie, lizard curious, mammalian, Alice In Wonderland, wizard cat, world of modern dating, unsolicited dick pics, Hinge queue, Harold and Claude, Bumble, Paul Newman, eating paint, dirty Sanchez, Tinder, soulful telepathy, Christmas hamster, confused about the holes, cribbage, Steely Dan, William Burroughs, crazy flipping fingers, nihilism, Frosty the Snowman, femdom, TikTok, Santa Claus 1959, Etsy and chicken nog.

When isms pervade society, the Law Offices of Quibble, Squabble and Bicker are there to fully misunderstand their importance and gravity especially as they take on their next client, Ableism, Sexism, Racism and Cannibalism. Fortunately, no schisms were created as they mentioned hot ticket, Disney Plus, broken hymens, 19 gallons of semen, the York maelstrom, peppermint patties, Charlie Brown, Monkees rabbit hole, Battleship Potemkin, abilityism, Michael Jordan, a papoose, Shaq is a monster, sticky wicket, anarchy, bigger bastards, Cubism, gender fluidity, John Lennon, make me lentils bitch, roast duct, blotwurst, a fake historian, Skittles embargo, reptilism, critical race theory, Howard Zinn, a tribe of cannibals, deep bush, cannibal songs, it's sweet, nice long pig, cannibal curious, hoom goo, sea monkeys and you will grok us.