Queen City Poly
By Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil
Queen City PolyOct 02, 2019
Ep. 45 - Biphobia within Polyamory
On episode 45, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss polyamorous folx who have sexual orientation "preferences" for their partners, gender "preferences" for their potential metas, and the bi-phobia and bi-erasure that happens even within so-called, open-minded polyamorous communities. Tune in to listen to us get real about this nonsense.
Ep. 44 - One Night Stands
Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss the general consensus among the polyamorous community (ha!) about one-night stands. They answer questions such as: Would you be upset if your partner had one and told you about it afterwards? Do you expect to be able to have one without any drama from your partner(s)? What even qualifies as a one night stand? Have you ever had one? Can you enjoy casual sex and/or one night stands within polyamorous relationships?
Ep. 43 - Hierarchy
On episode 43, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss prescriptive versus descriptive hierarchy, relationship anarchy, and a special form of hierarchy, SNEAKARCHY.
Ep. 42 - Nesting Partners
Ep. 41 - PDA and Polyamory
The question is, is this acceptable because you are polyamorous? Check out Episode 41 - PDA and Polyamory to hear @iamcoachkay and @iambrianoneil discuss the nuances of flirting, showing affection, and dating when you have other partners that may have feelings seeing you doing any of these things in front of them.
#polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #flirting #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #selfdevelopment #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #health #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly
Ep. 40 - Communicating Non-Consent
In episode 40, Brian O'Neil talks openly about being touched non-consensually following a recent standup gig after he talked about his polyamorous relationship style on stage. We sat down to talk about this experience as well as his experience sharing his story on Facebook.
Women are not immune to being the aggressor and perpetrator of sexual assault. Explicit, enthusiastic consent should be sought after throughout every interaction by the initiator of any and all sexual advances. But when that doesn’t happen, what can we do to communicate we do not consent in a way that feels comfortable in the moment?
#polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #consent #metoo #malesexualassault #standup #comedy #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly
Ep. 39 - New is No Excuse
Ep. 38 - Polyamory Or My Marriage
Ep. 37 - The Law of Fuck Yes or No
Ep. 36 - Communication Preferences and Compatibility
How does a partner’s communication style and/or their communication preferences factor into y’alls compatibility? Let us know!
Ep. 35 - A 'Throuple' Joins the Red Table
The unconventional path is windy one. Polyamory is a valid relationship style that is more than just having multiple sex partners. Monogamy is a valid option but not the only way to go. You can craft your own non-monogamous relationships and create the life you want, one step at a time. You may get lost, but the journey is more important than the destination.
On episode 35 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about Red Table Talk’s recent episode on unconventional relationships. Did you get a chance to catch that RTT episode? What did you love or hate about it? Listen in to what we loved about this episode of RTT and what we thought of the conversation.
Watch the Red Table Talk episode: ‘Unconventional Relationships: Can Multiple Partners Work?’ on Facebook Watch.
Ep. 34 - The Insatiable Woman
Ep. 33 - Red Table Talk talks Infidelity with Esther Perel, and we LOVED it.
Ep. 32 - The Honeymoon Phase or Normal Behavior?
Ep. 31 - 17 Reasons Why I Want More Polyamorous Representation
Ep. 30 - I Just Don’t Want You to Get Hurt.
Ep. 29 - Polyamorous, but not actively dating…
Ep. 28 - Alzheimer’s and Non-Monogamy
Read more about the controversial Twitter and Facebook backlash on Blavity.
Ep. 27 - Middle Ground
Ep. 26 - Incompatible Love
Ep. 25 - Nothing Serious
Ep. 24 - What Was This Episode About?
Ep. 23 - New Year, New Goals
Ep. 22 - Flirting While Poly(am!)
Ep. 21 - Berlin & Back!
Ep. 20 - Boy Bye
Ep. 19 - You're Poly?
Ep. 18 - Who Pays?
Ep. 17 - Brian's Poly Anniversary
Ep. 16 - Meeting Metamours
Ep. 15 - When Enough is Enough
Ep. 14 - New Relationship Energy (NRE)
Ep. 13 - Catching Feelings
Ep. 12 - Mental Health & Polyamory
Ep. 11 - Ethics & Values
In episode 11, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey discuss their own ethics within their polyamorous relationships and potential deal breakers when it comes to potential partners.
Ep. 10 - Input or Control?
Ep. 9 - WTF is Micro-Cheating?
In episode 9 of Queen City Poly, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey discuss the term "micro cheating." What does it mean? Is it a thing? Should you care? What are the implications of policing any and all of your partner's opposite sex interactions?
Ep. 8 - The Boy Is Mine
Ep. 7 - Infidelity
Brian O’Neil & Coach Kaey discuss infidelity and go off on relationship tangents like a the Gemini Sun/Gemini Moon pair that they are. To know more - listen to the episode!
Ep. 6 - Challenging the Patriarchy
Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss feminism and patriarchy and how men can help women/help with stigma associated with sexually liberated identities. Brian O'Neil reads Rudy Francisco's Poem ,“Altar,” and have a conversation about how men can talk to men about what women want in a constructive way. Hint: Honesty is key.
Later in the episode, they answer a listener question, "How do you stay out of your metamour's way?"
Ep. 5 - Coming Out
In episode 5, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss the process of coming out as polyamorous and how it differs from the coming out process of LGBTQ folks. Do you need to come out? Will anyone poison your cereal? Find out the answers to these questions and more when you check out episode 5 of Queen City Poly.
Ep. 4 - Impermanence & Polyamory
In episode 4, Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss Buddhism, the concept of impermanence, and how that reality of life relates to relationships whether monogamous or polyamorous.
Ep. 3 - Poly Love, a Documentary - A Review
Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay review Poly Love, an 2016 documentary by Michelle Flores. Be warned, there are spoilers in this episode, so if you want to see the documentary first, watch it now on Amazon Prime.
Ep. 2 - Seeking Community
Why is leaving a track of broken hearts is especially problematic in polyamorous dynamics? Multiple relationships is not an easy road of settling down into bliss. It takes constant communication and checking in. But for those of us that want an ethical, non-monogamous life filled with love, it's worth it. We dish out our strategies for finding online poly community and what we've found helpful and not helpful. Brian discusses the high need for counselors who are poly-friendly and why he feels confident that moving his career in this direction will provide benefit to the poly community. Then we touch on other communities that may have a slightly higher poly-population that you can also seek out. What about finding partners? In Episode 2, we touch on how we date, when we tell potential partners about our polyamorous lifestyle, our best tips on first dates, and how the different dynamics of how "out" we are how affect how we date. Do you call Charlotte home? Check out the Charlotte Poly Network (CPN) on Meetup for Queen City poly people.
Ep. 1 - Welcome to Queen City Poly
Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil introduce themselves and kick off the first episode of Queen City Poly. In this episode, Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil discuss their polyamory origin stories and a bit about who they are and where they come from. They also discuss Spike Lee's new Netflix series She's Gotta Have It and the ways in which polyamory is brought up across the sexes in relationships. In a heterosexual dynamic, who typically brings up non-monogamy? What's the deal with homophobia and sexual jealousy within monogamous relationships and cross-sex friendships? Is opening the door for a member of the same sex a southern taboo or a more general patriarchal taboo and what the hell is up with that? The vibe is intended to be conversational and chill.
We hope you feel like you are with us in the living room, just talking relationships.