I Quit Star Trek

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Jonn Elledge and Hye to talk about Picard Season 2, and how much it just...wasn't very good. We talk about many, many aspects of this; the Borg, space nazis, ICE discourse, the fact that the Picard family definitely lied about WW2. A lot.

Also, buy Jonn's book, it's really good.

This week, we're joined by Anika to chat about Enterprise's "A Night In Sickbay", in which Captain Archer acts like a 12-year-old for an entire episode and also has some wet dreams about T'Pol. Also the dog is ill, which we're meant to care about.

This week, we're joined by Nasr (@_tempvoid) to talk about Voyager's Lineage, in which B'Elanna tries to deal with her racial trauma (and daddy issues) by trying to apply eugenics to her daughter, which is insane.

This week, we're joined by third host Genevieve and Trekenomics author Manu Saaida (@trekenomics) to talk about work in Star Trek, in a wide-reaching and tangential chat that includes discourse around french waiters, land communes, and, uh,  kibbutzes. Business as usual.

This week, we're joined by clay (@theIconstable) to talk about "Mirror Mirror", in which Kirk and the gang get swapped with their counterparts from the vicious, violent and worryingly camp Mirror Universe. We talk about Nazism a lot, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

This week, we're joined by menace to society and official 'friend' of the podcast Terry (@telthetrekkie) to talk about Enterprise's "Oasis", in which the gang meets the crew of a stranded ship who all turn out to be holograms. It's not very interesting, so we talk about Tractors and why Enterprise was crap instead. 

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Kate (@kate_minson) to talk about DS9's return to grace, in which (for some reason) Major Kira helps Dukat become a pirate so he can take the fight to the Klingons. Also his wife left him for another Gul, which is hilarious.

This week we're joined by Rob to talk about Voyager's twisted, in which the ship gets contorted by a subspace-distortion thing, and we spend 40 minutes watching our characters walk around a set of uniquelly forgettable corridors. Even worse, Neelix is there.

This week we're joined by the marvelous Rebecca (@pencilscratchin) to talk about DS9's 'Little Green Men', in which Quark, Rom and Nog accidentally time travel to 1947. Also, we argue about whether Rom is a DILF. God know why.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by Jo and Matthew of the Terok Noir podcast (@teroknoir) to talk about DS9's 'Sons and Daughters', in which Worf is terrible to his son during the Dominion War. Shockingly, this is normal behavior for Worf, who has not told anyone about his son in five years. Normal. 

This week, John has escaped his handlers and organised an hour and half of Starship Pedantry with Star Trek Online's Thomas Marrone (@ThomastheCat) and Trek Central's Dom (@DomDParis). There are several complaints about Bunkbeds, Starship construction numbers, and whatever the hell a flagship is.

Normal Service will resume next week.

This week, John and Genevieve are joined by JD and Alyson to have a small (large) chat about what might happen in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds!

We think Pike should have a horse on ship. And Sybok should also be there.

This week, John and Geneieve are joined by Caleb (@RogueMogh) to talk about Friday's Child, in which Kirk and the gang get caught in a coup on an alien planet and have to help a pregnant lady escape execution. Spock learns about Baby talk and McCoy does his very best to lose his medical license. It's a classic adventure.

This week, John and Genevieve are joined by Adrian (@orchidtreks) to talk about Voyager's Q2, in which Janeway has to talked with Q's obnoxious, irritating and chauvinistic son Q, who, uh, sucks. Also, Q kisses Janeway's foot, which sucks even more.

This week, we're joined by Thomas (@ThomastheCat) to talk about The Changeling, in which Captain Kirk and the gang are challenged by a murderous (and sassy) space probe. Scotty dies for a bit, and Uhura gets her mind wiped. Sort of.

This week we're joined by Steffi (@Larkistin89) to talk about Star Trek Discovery's What's Past is Prologue, in which Evil Nazi Emeperor Georgiou and Evil Nazi Gabriel Lorca face off in a battle for control of the Terran Empire, something we're apparently meant to be emotionally invested in. Olivia defends Terran Uniforms and John isn't happy about it.

This week we're joined by JD (@scifoodies) to talk about The Cage, Star Trek's Unaired Pilot episode. The one with the Talosians. And the dnacing Orion Girls. That one. Yeah.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Aaron J. Waltke (Writer on Star Trek: Prodigy!) to talk about The Savage Curtain, in which Kirk and Spock join forces with Lincoln and Surak in an epic battle of Good Versus Evil! Lincoln is also browned up for part of the episode, for some reason. We're still not sure.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Dan (@ArtofDanliness) to talk about Starfleet Admirals, a cadre of officers who seem to spend all their time scheming to overthrow democracy, Ingesting mind-controlling parasites or just being crap at their jobs.

Business as usual in the military then.

This week we're joined by Madeline (@WildishMazz) to talk about Enterprise's Cogenitor, in which Trip tucker befriends a person who is enslaved for the purposes of procreation and gets in trouble for teaching someone to read and write. Remind me why we're meant to like Archer again?

This week, we're joined by Jim (@JimTheSpaceman) to talk about Odo, Constable and chief of Security on Deep Space Nine. He's a cop without a redemption arc: what more do we have to say?

This week, we're joined by friend of the podcast Genevieve (@thisismewhatevs) to talk about Armoury Officer Malcolm Reed, who is best known for being a wet towel with fatalistic tendencies and a pineapple allergy. And being British.

This week, we've been joined by a panel of guests from (somewhat) around the globe to talk about the Paramount + debacle! We also talk about how much they suck, generally, so that's fun too.

This week, we're joined by community leader Terry (@Telthetrekkie) to talk about Vic Fontaine. Well, we say that. We mainly talked about the last few seasons of Deep Space Nine. It happens.

This week we're joined by the wonderful Leah (@leah_solo) to talk about City on the Edge of Forever, the iconic TOS episode where Kirk and Spock have to go back to the 1930s to stop Dr. McCoy from making the Nazis win WW2. Sure, it doesn't really make sense, but Joan Collins is amazing as Edith Keeler, so do we have to care?

This week, we're joined for our 50TH EPISODE SPECIAL by Star Trek Discovery's own Noah Averback-Katz (Best known as the Andorian Ryn from Season 3!) to talk about the one and only These Are the Voyages, the most iconic Finale of *any* Star Trek Show. Riker is here! Troi is here! The uniforms have shoulder tabs! Trip Tucker blows up! Nothing of consequence happens at all! 

(Also, John got bullied by another celebrity, but to be fair he deserved it this time)

This week, we're joined by Aveline (@ensignlesbian) to talk about Enterprise's North Star, in which Archer and the gang encounter a planet full of Old West people oppressing aliens, and Nothing Of Value is Learned By Anyone at all. Trip also wears a Cowboy hat, but I don't think that saves it.

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Bob (@Bob_Mumby) to talk about Voyager's Before and After, in which Kes lives her own life backwards through a series of Quantum Leaps back to beyond her birth. Also, Harry Kim is Tom Paris's Son in Law. Yeah, we hate it too.

This week, we're joined by the thrilling Frey (Bolt_451) to talk about Voyager's Tsunkatse, in which Seven of Nine and Tuvok get kidnapped by Jeffrey Combs, who forces Seven to fight in an arena against the Rock. That's...kinda of it, really.  Neelix gets sunburn as well, which is horrible.

This week, we're joined by Dom (@DomDParis) to talk about Enterprise's Acquisition, in which mysterious aliens (The Ferengi, obviously) attempt to ransack Captain Archer's ship in an episode that refuses to be funny, interesting or enjoyable at any point. Par for the course for Enterprise Season 1, really.

This week we're joined by the brilliant Daneel (@stratotron) to talk about TOS's The Menagerie, in which Spock's convoluted and frankly weird plan to kidnap Chris Pike turns into a horrifying clip show of the Cage. Also, it's very ableist. But I think you knew that.

In our Extra Special Star Trek Day episode, we're joined by official third host of the podcast Genevieve (@Thisismewhatevs) to talk about Gene's Vision. Yes, That Vision. You know the one. 

This week, we're joined by the sensational Sean (@seanaaaron) to talk about DS9's Meridian, in which the gang find a planet that phases in and out of time, and Jadzia falls in love with a guy with no personality. Also, Quark violates Kira's privacy to make a horny holodeck programme. Because WHY NOT?

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Blair (@Blairsh) to talk about Deep Space Nine's Take Me Out to the Holosuite, in which Sisko and the gang team up to beat a bunch of horrible Vulcans at Baseball, a wonderful sport that Olivia refuses to understand. We forgive her for that, though.

Keep listening to the end to find out about our Faith of the Heart remix competition!

This week, we're joined by Will (@WpHirsch) to talk about TOS's Shore Leave, in which Kirk and the Gang get up to wacky hi-jinks on a planet where their idle thoughts become reality. Bones sees the white rabbit! Sulu fights a Samurai! Kirk beats up an irishman! It's fun!

This week, we're joined by the ridiculously brilliant Hye (@raijuTheHyeju) to talk about voyager's Unamatrix Zero, in which Seven of Nine gets involved with a poorly thought through Borg resistance movement fighting an even worse written Borg Queen. Also, Seven has a boyfriend. For some reason.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Saturday (@GoDSNiners) to talk about TNG's The Outcast, in which Commander Riker falls in love with a member of an androgynous species in a disjointed, awkward, story with the worst ending of any episode of The Next Generation. 

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Aaron (of Swear Trek Fame!) to talk about Spock's Brain. You know the episode. We don't need to say anything else.

Also: Our new Merch store is LIVE! Come check it out! All profits will be going to The Trevor Project LGBT Youth Charity!

https://www.teepublic.com/user/i-quit-star-trek

This week we're joined by the brilliant Dre (@DreTop1a) to talk about Voyager's Pilot episode Caretaker, in which a much more interesting plot about the Maquis and The Federation is ditched for a still interesting plot about two crews stuck in the delta quadrant which is then also ditched for something that even *less* interesting. Also, there's body-snatching. And Alien jelly-beings. And *sigh* The Kazon. It's not good.

This week, we're joining by the wonderful dave (@justdavewrites) to talk about Enterprise's Rajiin, in which Captain Archer's desire to save a sex slave from servitude turns into a mad queerbaiting plotline that goes absolutely nowhere and leaves us frustrated that this show refused to try hard at all.

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Sam (@never_seen_trek) to talk about TOS's Metamorphosis, in which Kirk and the gang are stranded on a planetoid with Zefram Cochrane, inventor of the Warp Drive, who then proceeds to fall in love with the Space Cloud that stole a woman's body. Honestly, I'm not sure it can be put better than that.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Wyrm (@Czarwrym) to argue about Enterprise's Dead Stop, in which the NX-01's visit to a mysterious automated repairs station turns to tragedy (?) when Ensign Mayweather is kidnapped by the computer!

Honestly, that makes this episode sound more interesting than it actually is.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Wolvie (@sexysurak) to talk about Voyager's the Q and the Grey, in which Q's attempt to make Captain Janeway the mother of his child (ew) turns out to be part of his plan to win a civil war within the Q Continuum, by making Janeway the mother of his child. (Even more ew) It's quite something.

This week, we're joining by the brilliant Patrick (@PDPdoesTrek) to talk about DS9's Let He Who is Without Sin, in which Worf and Jadzia's holiday getaway to Risa turns into a demonstration of both some very dumb Federation Politics and also the level to which Worf really, really sucks on so many levels.

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Linda (@HenInAHat1) to talk about TNG's Up the Long Ladder, in which Picard and the gang have to deal with a bunch of Space Irishmen who seem to be entirely based on Irish Stereotypes from the 19th century. It really doesn't improve from that low.

This week, we're joined by the wonderful Wen (@skepticamoeba) to talk about not one, but two episodes of the Animated Series: The Infinite Vulcan AND The Eye of the Beholder. Join us for a double bill of Giant Spocks, Flying Dragons, Slug-people and even more insane content. It's a wild ride.

This week, we're joined by Tony (John's dad!) to talk about TOS's Let That Be Your Last Battlefield, in which the Enterprise becomes the battleground between a freedom fighter and his nemesis where they refuse to do anything but pontificate about how great they are. They're also in black and white makeup. It's not great. 

This week, we're joined by the brilliant Kennedy (@thatmakeychick) to talk about TNG's Sins of the Father, in which Worf is subjected to rounds of legal nonsense by the Klingon High Council for something that isn't his fault, but he still takes the blame for. And at no pointing in writing such a plot, did the writers think about the fact the Sons of Mogh were being played by the only black people in the room.

Funny that.

This week we're joined by the wonderful Rashid to talk about DS9's The Muse, in which a terrifying story about Jake Sisko's life force being drained by a predator who uses creative energy to sustain themselves is accompanied by wacky marriage hi-jinks with Odo and Lwaxana Troi. It's a bit disjointed. 

This week, we're joined by Jonn (@JonnElledge) to talk about Voyager's Worst Case Scenario, in which a secret holodeck program set on a much more interesting version of the Starship Voyager is discovered by the crew, leading to a set of hi-jinks and poor plot choices by both Tuvok and the Voyager showrunners.

This week, we're joined by award-winning comedian and general menace to society Al Murray (@almurray) take a break from the worst of Star Trek to enjoy it at its very best with Best of Borth Worlds Part 2! It's got everything: Action! Drama! High stakes! Personal conflict! Counselor Troi doing important!

In this special First Contact Day episode, We're joined by friend of the podcast/menace to society Genevieve, and our very special guest Manu Saadia (Author of 'Trekonomics') to talk about the question that has haunted Trekkies for decades: Should Captain Janeway have killed Tuvix?

This week we're joined by Heather Rae (@BatlethBabe) to talk about TNG's Masks, in which the Enterprise is slowly turned into a tacky temple-themed Spa while Data and Picard demonstrate some improvisation skills to...varying levels of success. Olivia loves it. John does not.

This week we're joined by the wonderful Tia (@DeepSpaceTia) to talk about Voyager's Faces, in which B'Elanna Torres is split into a Klingon and Human, in yet another terrifying, if not unexpected incident of Trek Writers coming extremely close to a good point, but failing so badly at the last hurdle that it just hurts to watch.

This week we're joined by the insightful Travis (@travisjohnson) to talk about The Apple, in which the TOS crews' visit to a paradise planet turns into a nightmare of redshirt death, colonialist tropes and god-killing. Kirk kills God. That's just another day in the office for him, though

This week, we're joined by Jinx and Jo from the Out of Orbit Podcast (@outoforbitpod) to talk about the iconic Amok Time, in which Kirk is forced to fight his best friend/the love of his life in a battle to the death in the fiery sands of Vulcan! It's all about Biology, folks.

This week we're joined by the insightful and witty Monroe (@Mothleton) to talk about DS9's profit and Lace, In which Quark is forced to pretend to be a woman in order to defeat (Acting) Nagus Brunt. Ira Stephen Behr apparently thought this would be the best Ferengi episode. Somehow.

This week we're joined by Duncan (@Barrettsbooks) to talk about Star Trek Picard's Stardust City Rag, in which the Rag-tag Crew of La Sirena take part in an elaborate heist/romantic tragedy/mob vengeance film depending on who you ask. Needless to say, we had opinions.

This week, we're joined by Rachel Di (@geekunicornweb) to talk about DS9's Civil Defence, in which our brave crew must stop an incredibly annoying computer programme made by Gul Dukat from destroying the station. John talks about Nerve Gas a lot. We're not really sure why. 

This week, we're joined by the intriguing and interesting David (@1701Trekkie) to talk about TOS's Plato's Stepchildren, in which Kirk, Spock and McCoy become the playthings of a bunch of smug Plato-worshipping telekinetic assholes. Also, Kirk and Uhura kiss (you knew that) but it's much less romantic/acceptable in context. 

Trust us. it's really bad in context.

This week, John and Olivia chat with the wonderful Sean (@whataboutclass) about Voyager's Real Life, in which the Doctor's terrifyingly perfect Holographic family life is ruined by B'elanna deciding that he needs to hate his family instead. Also, the Voyager writers use Klingons as an allegory for 90s black culture and it's *horrible*. Really, really horrible. 

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the dangerously funny Genevieve (@thisismewhatevs) to talk about Enterprise's Bound, in which the NX-01 is taken over by three Orion slave girls in a wildly inappropriate and embarrassingly horny plot for the year 2004. Also, Genevieve tells us how this episode proves that Spirk is canon, which is highly important information. We suggest you take notes.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the wonderfully witty Una McCormack (Author of The AutoBiography of Kathryn Janeway, The Last Best Hope, The Way to The Stars amongst dozens of other books) to argue about Deep Space Nine's Our Man Bashir, in which Julian Bashir's worryingly horny James Bond programme turns into a battle to keep all his friends alive, while Garak tags along to complain about 60s decor and get turned on by being shot. Because no one's allowed to be normal on DS9, apparently.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the downright outrageous JP (@TrekkinJP) to talk about TNG's Justice, in which a shore leave visit goes astray when Wesley Crusher breaks the nonsensical laws of a planet of Aryan bodybuilders who were too busy canoodling to figure out a sensible Justice system.

Just as a heads up, we also talk about Gene Roddenberry's W*ng a lot, for some reason, and also made John have a breakdown, so please bear that in mind.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the brilliant Kellan (@ThriftyTrekkie) to talk about Deep Space Nine's Doctor Bashir, I Presume? , in which Julian Bashir evades immortality as a hologram thanks to the fact that his parents are, in fact, terrible people who should never be forgiven for what they did to him. Also, Robert Picardo is creepy to Leeta, because why not.

This week, John is joined by seven (yes seven) wonderful guests (@geekysteven, @CzarWyrm, @Artemisapphire, @socialsoprano, @BeataBeatrix1, @manwithoutatan and @LeeHutchison_)  to talk about the poorly understood, barely enforced General Order Number 1, also known as the Prime Directive, also known as that one Starfleet law that says you're not allowed to interfere in other planets business. Unless you're killing their god. Or intervening in a Klingon Civil War. You can use it to avoid helping the Bajorans though, that's cool!

We also get angry about Section 31. We get angry about a lot of things, actually.

This week, John and Olivia were joined by the magnificent, hilarious and infamously outrageous John Billingsley (Star Trek Enterprise's Dr Phlox), and instead of talking about Precious Cargo, descend into a wild ride through some of the best anecdotes from Billingsley's Star Trek career.

Don't worry about the Episode. Even the writers thought this one was too bad to be on TV.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the insightful and definitely-not-related-to-John Martin (@MartinConcagh) to argue about TNG's Man of the People, in which Troi is used as a vessel for the passions and emotions of a balding middle-aged man, and instead of being a deep message about the exploitation of women, the writers just make Deanna age rapidly and become uncharacteristically Horny. Because this is Star Trek.

This week, John and Olivia are joined by the Wonderful Penny (@SocialSoprano) to argue about Deep Space Nines's Distant Voices, in which Julian Bashir celebrates his 30th Birthday by getting stuck inside his mind with the crew of DS9 and Garak, because who else would be in his head when he's dying? Also, there are Tennis Balls. For some reason.

This week, John, Olivia, and Special Guest star Extraordinaire Noah AK (Ryn from Discovery Season 3!) talk about Enterprise's Unexpected, in which Trip Tucker gets impregnated by accident (?) and then gets nipples on his wrists, for some reason. Also, there's a battlecruiser in the wrong place, and John is very angry about it.  

Olivia and John this week chat to @BeataBeatrix1 about 'Elaan of Troyius', in which Captain Kirk's biochemical attraction to a horrifying Orientalist stereotype is defeated by his one true love: not Spock, of course, The Enterprise! It's a bumper episode this week, so join us as we veer from Horrifying racism to The Taming of the Shrew to Horatio Hornblower in space! 

John and Olivia are joined this week by @RealSuzieP to argue about Voyager's The Thaw, where Harry Kim gets stuck inside a computer simulation of a nightmare-inducing episode of 1960's Batman with a terrifying Grey Clown man, while Tuvok is a coward and Janeway still manages to be a badass. 

John and Olivia are joined this week by Kurtzmann shill and Culinary extraordinary @TeltheTrekkie to talk about Sub Rosa, where Beverly Crusher falls in love with a sex ghost on a planet full of fake Scottish people. Who wouldn't be lovestruck by the 800-year-old green cloud who had intimate relations with all of your family members back to 1647? 

In our first episode, John and Olivia discuss The Omega Glory, where Jim Kirk lands on a planet full of racist stereotypes and teaches them all the American Way because of course he does, he's Jim Kirk.