By Kameran Thompson Al-Areqi
Recognizing PotentialAug 19, 2021
EP 57: Lessening the Mental Load with Zach Watson, Recovering Man Child
Today I sat down with Zach Watson who calls himself the Recovering Man Child to talk about how he coaches men to lessen the mental load for their partners, lessen the resentment for themselves and their partners, create healthier communication habits, and increase emotional intelligence.
In this candid conversation, Zach and I talk about the 81% divorce rate if a male has low emotional intelligence in a marriage, how men respond to coaching better than counseling or therapy and how men feel resentment for not feeling like they have permission to say no in their marriages when asked to do something.
I give Zach some hard questions about his own marriage, examples of my own and we talk about ways we would coach clients with the same issues.
How do you get your partner to recognize the mental load you have? How do you get them to step up when it feels like they're dragging you and the marriage down? How do you get your man child to recover? Zach addresses all of this and more in this episode!
Men, are you ready to start recovering from being a man child yourself? Ladies, ready for your husband to start lessening your mental load? Book a call with Zach today!
You can also get a free exercise to help you start dividing household chores and invisible labor right here!
Connect with Zach via socials:
To connect with Kameran:
FB: @RecognizingPotential (Group)
Thank you to all of the supporters who donate to the podcast!! You are loved and appreciated!
Ep 56: Decluttering Your Life w/Kate Evans
Kate Evans has spent twenty years empowering women to see their true self that is hiding under their fears, shame, perfectionism, and unrealistic expectations.
Her aim is to help you see yourself clearly for the first time. All of the answers you're looking for are inside of you already. But she knows how hard it is to find them on your own with all of that other noise getting in the way.
Her job is to help you quiet down all of those crappy thoughts so you can see what she already knows about you.
She's here for you as a guide, confidant, and accountability partner. She wants to honor the unique woman you are, instead of asking you to mold yourself into someone else's idea of what you or your home should look like.
In 2018, she had a life-changing experience when she dove in and decluttered her own home. The experience showed Kate the connection between self-care and a healthy home.
That was when she knew she had to help other women feel the pride and relief she felt.
She found power and strength in herself when she took control of her home. She got over her "own shit" and stopped believing she was "just a slob", which was the thought that had held her back her entire life.
Kate's goal is for you to find your version of that story. To stop hiding behind limiting beliefs and grab onto the life and home you deserve!
As a trained psychologist and life coach, Kate has a unique perspective on decluttering your home that is about you and your journey, not just the stuff in your home.
With her empathic and solution-focused approach to decluttering, and your commitment to yourself, you're finally going create sustainable change.
In this episode, we break down the limiting beliefs that may be lies that are holding you back from becoming your best self with an organized mind, home and life. Kate and I talk about how decluttering your home can and will lead to a more fulfilling marriage and parent/child relationship if you have kids. We talk about the grief that comes with cleaning out a deceased loved one's home and many more topics around decluttering.
Kate tells you how to get started, how to go about decluttering, secrets to being successful once you start decluttering your home and if you get stuck, she's right there to coach you by contacting her to get started!
For marriage coaching with Kam:
If you are a supporter of this show, Kameran and her production team appreciate you immensely!
If you'd like to become a supporter of the show- Venmo- @Kameran-Thompson
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Ep 55: 6 MUST HAVE Conversations For A More Connected Marriage
Does your marriage feel stale, disconnected, like there isn't any depth to it anymore? Most likely, it's because you're only having 2 of these 6 types of conversations every week. In this short episode, you will learn all about
- the types of conversations
- the proper 5 finger apology
- resources to spice up your marriage and your time in the bedroom
- the most important part of conflict
For more info on the monthly membership email email@example.com
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For 1:1 coaching: email firstname.lastname@example.org
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Ep 54: Blending a Family Starts with YOU with Brittney P
Blending a family can be one of the hardest things you can do. Nobody actually knows what they're signing up for, how to get the kids to listen and respect the step-parent and it can create a lot of conflict between partners. So what's the secret? Brittney P, a certified step-parent coach and teacher breaks it down and talks about resentment, boundaries, how to navigate the waters of blending smoothly, how to get rid of the shame that comes with all the feelings of being a step-parent and how to find joy in the process. If that sounds like something you need help with, give this episode a listen! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review!
To connect with Brittney:
To connect with Kameran:
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Ep 53: Mailbag Monday: Addiction, Abuse & Codependency
***TRIGGER WARNING: ADDICTION & ABUSE ***
Today's episode was a solo episode answering questions that people sent in asking for coaching around different topics, questions, or scenarios they need help with.
1:30- A question regarding alcohol abuse and how it impacts every part of their marriage. I talk about how addiction of any kind breaks down trust. In my coaching, I use Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and the Gottman method The Sound House example. In order to have a healthy marriage, trust must be established. If it's not, safety is not created and this blocks emotional connection, emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, the ability to be vulnerable, etc. Thus, addiction does, in fact, impact almost every part of the marriage.
20:23- The topic of discussion was sent in by someone wanting to know about emotional abuse. I talk about my own experience with being emotionally, physically, mentally and financially abused. I talk about how it looks in a relationship, examples, how it feels, how easy it is to judge someone who is being abused if you've never been abused yourself. I talk about what the abuse does to the victim and what to do about it.
40:31- The topic of codependency is brought up and discussed regarding how it is created, what it looks like and how to become more interdependent and less co-dependent.
Email any questions or additional Mailbag Monday topics or questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are looking to sponsor the podcast, please email email@example.com
If you are looking to donate to the podcast, please venmo @Kameran-Thompson or cashapp $KameranThompson
Follow me on IG @divorce.proof.marriage
Ep 52: The Power of Progress with Todd & Kelcey Postlewait
***TRIGGER WARNINGS: SUICIDE, ALCOHOLISM*** Todd & Kelcey Postlewait are former coaching clients of mine that came to me in the fall of 2022 needing radical transformation. They were hours away from filing for divorce and knew that they couldn't continue with the emotional rollercoaster they'd been on for years. They didn't want to continue the legacy they had started for their son. They wanted a healthy marriage but didn't have the next steps to make it happen. They wanted each other, wanted their marriage but not that version of their marriage. They wanted peace, harmony, and most of all, they wanted to not only like each other but to truly be in love with each other again. I worked with Todd and Kelcey consistently, every week for 6 months, only taking off for holidays. They showed up. They did the work in between sessions. They did the growth work, even if they didn't like it. They were consistent about prioritizing their marriage. As a result, they changed their habits, broke generational curses, set boundaries, and changed their entire lifestyle. I met them where they were and in the very first session, we talked about where they wanted to go. I gave them the tools and taught them how to get there. They've been on their own for about 6 months now and as you'll hear in the episode, they are truly thriving. Todd and Kelcey are not celebrities. They are a married couple, living in Kentucky, raising kids and working jobs just like you and me. They have an exceptional marriage because they've built it. They have the life they want because they consistently work toward creating that life. This is their story. If you would like Todd and Kelcey to speak for your foundation or organization, please reach out to Todd at firstname.lastname@example.org If you're interested in coaching for your own marriage or booking Kameran for a marriage conference, please reach out to email@example.com
Cash App: $KameranThompson
If you're interested in purchasing a sponsorship ad, please email firstname.lastname@example.org
Ep 51: Secrets to Marriage and Your Child's Sleep Patterns with Maggie Chapman
Maggie Chapman is an academic advisor at CU Boulder, a pilot wife and a mom of two. As a passion project, she became a sleep specialist with Rocky Mountain Sleeping Baby and found her life's calling. Not only did Maggie help our family personally when Zayn was 16 months old and had never slept well, she's helped hundreds of other families teach their children to sleep and sleep well whether they were infants or well into their elementary school years.
Sleep is an essential part of helping a person thrive whether they are a child or an adult. It is a basic physiological need. In this episode, Maggie talks a lot about how to get more sleep as the parent during the season of having a little one, getting your child to get more sleep, postpartum depression and how to cope, how a partner can help with a newborn's sleep patterns, and how to thrive when you're barely able to survive during this time. Maggie and I are both married so we talk a lot about marriages when you have little ones and how to keep that spark alive, the seven year itch, and how to work as a team when you have kids.
Maggie is an absolute angel and so great to work with! You can find her on Instagram @maggiemchapman or Kandra and the whole team on Instagram @rockymountainsleepingbaby
Tell them Kameran sent you. They won't be surprised. I've sent so many clients to them already and all of them have been helped and have better sleeping households!
If you're interested in getting 50% off your first date box with Happily, go to www.thehappily.co, customize your date box and enter the code DIVORCEPROOFMARRIAGE for 50% of your first month's box!
If you're ready to connect your marriage and build a legacy worth leaving to your kids- connect with me on Instagram @Divorce.proof.marriage or email me at email@example.com to get more information on coaching.
Ep 50: The Secret to Eliminating Pride in Your Marriage
In this episode, we are talking about pride. Pride is not just the arrogant "look at me, see me, respect me, love me" boastful kind. It also includes fear. I give you examples of what pride looks like in your marriage, how it shows up, what it does and how it deteriorates your marriage, and how to eliminate the problem. I get very real and raw about my own marriage giving you examples of what my husband did and how he showed up, what I did, how I messed our marriage up and, in the episode, I show you what it looks like to take accountability when you blow it. I give you the three A's to remember in order to let go of your own pride.
If this episode resonates with you, please leave a review and share to your own social platforms. Don't forget to tag me @divorce.proof.marriage and if you have any questions or are interested in private marriage coaching for you and your partner, DM or email me the word LINK to firstname.lastname@example.org
FB coaching group: www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
For THE DATE BOX- go to www.thehappily.co to customize your date box. Code for 50% off your first month: DIVORCEPROOFMARRIAGE
Ep 49: The Marriage Mistake Experts - Kevin & Bree Bailey
Kevin & Bree Bailey spent $100, 000 on a divorce only to reconcile in the final moments of said divorce. They tell their story, how they went from divorcing and a nasty deposition to helping couples restore their marriage! They talk about their walks with God, how God is first in their marriage and marriages are truly under attack right now. What happens when you separate marriages? What's causing such a decline in dating and remarriage after divorce? We talk in depth about the steps needed to restore your marriage, even if you're the only one working on it. The episode dives into what wives and husbands do and don't do that cause hurt and problems in marriages. We talk a lot about how Bree and Kevin have shaped their marriage into having a legacy worth leaving now so you can do the same.
This episode is heavily based on Biblical principles and it is the opinion of Kameran, Kevin and Bree. This episode is for this world but not of this world. #IYKYK
If you are interested in coaching with Kameran, email email@example.com.
For coaching with Kevin or Bree- email firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Ep 48: Rebuilding Trust and Staying in Your Energy Lane w/Guest Joy Harrington
Joy Harrington is a life coach, wife, mom and overall incredible human being! She has the best fashion sense too!
**TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD** (Infant loss, infidelity)
On today's episode, we start out talking about the infidelity her marriage endured. For 9 months she laid on the couch wallowing in misery, negativity and doubt. Then she got real with herself, got up and started working on herself. She and her husband, Peter, went to counseling, then marriage coaching, and started to grow and thrive together. She tells her story of getting pregnant with their third child, Sterling, and losing him one day after he was born. She gives so many great tips on how they stopped merely surviving and started thriving as a couple.
Next, Joy and I get into masculine and feminine energies- how to know which one you're in, how to slide back into the one you want to be in and what happens when you're not meshing well with your partner energetically. We talk about conflict cycles as it pertains to our energetic polarity and how to deal with marriage if your partner is gone a lot or is reintegrating back into home life after having been gone.
Lastly, we talk about homeschooling, traveling and how to stop settling for "good enough" and create a life you can truly be proud of, happy and fulfilled by and not in comparison to others.
If any of what Joy has to say today ignites your soul like it has mine, you can follow her on IG @joyharrington.ig
If you're interested in The Resentment Trap program she references in the podcast, the website is www.levelupbabe.com/thelevelupclub
If you're interested in marriage coaching and working through the struggles in your marriage, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Follow me on IG @divorce.proof.marriage or on FB at www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
EP 47: We Can Do Hard Things...Together with Tanner and Mariah Littrell
On today's episode, I sit down with Tanner and Mariah Littrell to talk about how they've built an incredible marriage, chased dreams, achieved goals and created a beautiful family. Through loss, a journey through beating cancer, two miracle pregnancies, moving to a new city, we talk about their whole story. This episode will have you laughing, crying and understanding exactly what it means to be a team, to win together, and to build a marriage that inspires everyone around you. Tanner and Mariah are the epitome of what a fantastic marriage looks like. I love their humble, salt of the earth demeanor and most of all, the gratitude, pride, consistency, and deep admiration they have for each other. They validate each other. They listen and they communicate so well. I hope you end this episode with a whole page of ideas on how to use what they have and what they've gone through to better your own marriage. If you want to follow them or support their restaurant, you can find them here:
Ep 46: Understanding Gender Intelligences with Andre Paradis
This week I sit down with Andre Paradis, ex Chippendales dancer turned ballroom dancer turned science-based relationship coach. Andre talks in depth about the difference between boys, guys and men, what men want and how to balance your relationship by understanding your differences. We deep dive into how a relationship is a lot like ballroom dancing. Who leads? How does that happen? What does that look like? What happens when there's conflict and you're on a negative cycle? How do you get off the merry-go-round? Andre tells you what that looks like and how to navigate it. Men, if you feel like you need help understanding women, or how to be a better husband, a better partner, a better man, this is the podcast for you as well! We talk about attachment styles, negative cycles and how to create a great relationship by stepping into your partner's world.
You can find and follow Andre at any of the following links.
Project Equinox with Andre Paradis
FB Private Group for Ladies - Free
Project Equinox with Andre Paradis
You can find and follow Kameran here:
Ep 45: Repairing After Conflict
I recently polled my instagram followers on whether they repaired after an argument or just moved on with or without an apology from either side. 76% of the votes said they just moved on.
The reason this is concerning is that the repair is the most important part of the argument and it's missing in the majority of marriages.
Repairing is fostering the connection between you and your partner after the argument so there is less negativity, resentment and lingering feelings or unmet expectations. Every time you repair after conflict, you're laying another brick in the foundational elements that help you handle larger conflict down the road. You're bringing your marriage back together.How do we repair?
After the argument when you've both calmed down, met your basic needs (sleep, water, food), are no longer in a defensive state and can listen to each other's point of view so you can understand, not just respond, you're ready to repair.
Come together to have a conversation about what happened. Using an I statement "I felt (emotion word) when (circumstance) because (why did it trigger you). I need _________ to move forward.
Using I statements helps you focus on you. This is important because every time there is a conflict, both parties have a hand in it. We can't change our partner, so we have to change our own behavior. If done correctly, it takes away criticism, blame and shame of your partner.
After both sides have given their perspective, talk calmly about the disconnect that happened. Was it a miscommunication? Was there an assumption that was made (or many assumptions)? Apologize for your part in the disconnect and if possible, help your partner get the need met that they stated in their I statement. Forgive and move forward after both of you feel reconnected.
- The goal here is to approach this with a solution-oriented attitude.
- Communication is 58% body language, 35% tone and 7% words. Make sure your body language and your tone are sending the same message your words are.
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes this is harder than others, especially if you're dealing with a reoccurring cycle (in which case, I would suggest getting help). Remember that this is your partner who loves you, not your enemy and you're in this to understand and do things differently, not to judge and condemn.
- Take a break if needed but you must come back and try again later. This isn't going to be perfect every single time. My husband and I have started to repair many times only to find that we aren't as calm as we thought or one of us says something that triggers the other again and we have to come back later and repair both conflicts.
- Disconnection is not caused by conflict. Conflict is caused by disconnection. The whole purpose of the repair is to bring that connection back together, not widen the gap. Keep things calm, low in tone, slow in process, and focus on building each other back up. There is no scorecard in connected marriages.
Ep 44: Creating Secure Attachments in Marriage and Parenting with Julie Mennano, LMFT
Julie Menanno is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. Julie’s mission is to make the insights and practical skills she uses to treat couples in in her private practice more accessible to a wider population.
Julie runs Bozeman Therapy and Counseling where she and a staff of therapists treat couples and individuals.
Secure Love is Julie’s first book and is a guide to getting unstuck from a negative cycle and finding attachment security with your partner.
In this episode, Julie and I talk all about anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment styles. Julie gives advice and tips on how to:
- identify your attachment style
- recognize what's happening in a negative cycle
- overcome a negative cycle
- know what to do in the middle of a conflict
- create secure attachments in your romantic relationships
- parent your children so you create secure attachments in them so they have more successful relationships later in life
This episode is a must listen to if you're in a relationship romantically, a parent, a grandparent or plan on being in any kind of relationship in the future.
Julie's IG: instagram.com/thesecurerelationship
Julie's Patreon account: https://www.patreon.com/thesecurerelationship
Kameran's IG: instagram.com/divorce.proof.marriage
Kameran's Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
Link to monthly membership mentioned in ad: recognizingpotential.teachable.com/p/connected
$10 off Amare mental wellness products: https://amare.com/g10/145624
Ep43: Spilling All the Tea with Dr. Lindsey Elmore
Dr. Lindsey Elmore is an author, board certified pharmacotherapy specialist, pharmacist, yoga instructor, and podcast host of The Lindsey Elmore Show.
In this hour long episode, you'll absolutely want to have a pen and notebook at the ready as Dr. Elmore and I talk all about how to create a better marriage through self-awareness tools, using personality tests to understand yourself and your spouse in better ways. We talk about perspectives, share stories that will help you and discuss the 4B's for women and 4 L's for men. We talk about supplements to help couples have less cortisol, more serotonin, and better sex! The last 10 minutes of the podcast are where Dr. Elmore recommends packs and talks about individual supplements for certain things. If you listen to this episode and want to try the supplements she talks about, head over to this link to purchase for $10 off! https://amare.com/g10/145624
Lindsey and I talk a lot about what's happening with relationships as it pertains to mental health, sexual dysfunctions like dryness, erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, cortisol resistance, and so much more. We talk about how this is killing relationships alongside the lack of leadership, respect, love and communication techniques a good marriage takes to thrive. The book that Dr. Lindsey Elmore references is called Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzer and Emily Gregory and can be purchased on Amazon or anywhere you get your favorite books. I highly recommend this book as well!
Ep 42: How Do I Save My Marriage?
In this episode, I dig deep into some hard truths about saving your marriage. If you're looking for a place to start in changing the dynamic of your marriage, this is a great starting place. All of the advice that I give you are things I've done in my marriage or ideas I've given my clients and watched it work well in theirs.
Some of the topics I address in this podcast episode are decision and commitment, freedom, disrespect, anger, attitude, leadership in men, what it means to be the man of the house, respect, fight styles, taking responsibility for what you can control, and so much more!
At the time of this recording, I had one spot open immediately. That has filled and one spot starting in September has filled but I do still have one more spot for 1:1 couples coaching starting in September. You can email me with any questions- email@example.com
You can also follow or tag me @divorce.proof.marriage on IG or Tiktok
You can also join my free facebook coaching group at www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
Flipping the Script on Popular Marriage Advice
Today's episode is all about the popular marriage advice we get from all those who have gone before us.
When I got married the first time, I remember sitting in a circle while we passed around index cards and ladies wrote their best advice on the cards. So many pieces of advice were fantastic. So many of them weren't. So we're going to dive into a few of those "common pieces of marriage advice".
1. "Never go to bed angry."
2. Marriage is 50/50
3. "Stay together for the children."
4. "Just pray about it."
5. "Passion fades over time."
7. Offering hope as a strategy. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better.”
8. Just get divorced/you deserve better.
9. What they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em.
10. If you disagree and argue a lot, you’re probably just not compatible anymore.
Any of these sound familiar? If so, you've probably been given some bad advice. Find out how to flip that script or the mindset around that advice to make it applicable to your marriage. As always, if you have questions, want to work with me or collaborate, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Also make sure you're following me on instagram @divorce.proof.marriage and in my facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential.com
Ep 40: Love Languages Explained
Of course you've heard about love languages. Who hasn't? But in this episode, I'm breaking each of the love languages down one by one on how to speak them and what to avoid because it hurts the person with that love language more so than those without it. Did you also know that kids have certain love languages? They absolutely do and it's one of the reasons we may not have felt loved as a child because we didn't get our love languages spoken. Dr. Gary Chapman came out with the research and a few books on the Love Languages. If you need to find out your love language, head on over to his website where you and your partner can each take a quiz to find out which is your primary and your secondary love languages.
Then come right back here to hear all about yours and your partner's!
The love languages are all discussed in the episode in this order:
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation
I would recommend taking notes on your love languages as well as your partner's for easy reference in the future. Need more info but pressed for time, head over to my IG and read all about the love languages @divorce.proof.marriage or you can find the info in my private facebook coaching group www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
Ep 39: A Dozen Pieces of Advice for the Class of 2022
Before I was a marriage coach, I was a teacher. This episode is for all the kids I've taught over the years but especially for the class of 2022 as I taught them in Kindergarten and then looped with them and taught them in 1st grade too. They graduated high school a couple weeks ago so here's a dozen pieces of advice for them. If you're 30 or 40 and listening, this advice applies to you too!
1. The friends you make in college will most likely be friends you'll have forever. Choose wisely as they will be who push you up and help you create success or drag you down.
2. Travel! Nothing opens your eyes and changes you for the better than seeing other cultures, geographic region and experiencing life outside your comfort zone.
3. Don't worry if you have to change your major. Figure out what you're passionate about and how to monetize that so you aren't changing it 11 times like me. Go into college and major in what fits the definition of success for YOU, not because you're living into other people's definitions of success.
4. If money, age and time weren't an issue, who would you be? What does your best self look like? Define success, independence, love, passion, career, and rich for yourself. What do those look like specifically?
5. Knowledge and Connections will monetize repeatedly. Money spends once.
6. When you get lost or feel like your life is spinning out of control, go back to the basics. Go back to your roots and your hometown. It will keep you grounded, humble and help center you.
7. Wait to get married! Your spouse will determine 90% of your happiness in your life. Write out what you want in a spouse, get help from people you love and look up to for this. Base your choices for dates on that list and date with intention!
8. Save money. If you don't do it when you're broke, you wont' do it when you have a salary.
9. Have confidence in who you are and who you're striving to be. You don't have to do anything that will challenge your values or don't want to do (even if your friends are doing it).
10. Boundaries. No is a full sentence and doesn't need an explaination. Respect it if you hear it. Use it if you need to.
11. Trust your intuition. If your gut says something isn't right, it probably isn't.
12. My personal message for you GEHS class of 2022 and anyone I've taught that will always be "my kids".
If you found the content in this podcast helpful or useful, please screenshot this episode and share it on your social media. Tag me on IG @divorce.proof.marriage
Email me at coaching@recognizingpotential for more information on coaching.
Ep 38: Turning Toward Your Partner
Episode 38 focuses heavily on Dr. John Gottman's research in answering the bids for connection with your partner. Your partner can bid for connection with you over 100 times in a single meal! Are you answering those calls, turning away or rejecting them altogether? In this short but powerful episode, I'm talking to you and giving examples of how you can be on the lookout for your partner's request for connection each day, how you can make those connections and how you can grow together in your marriage.
I also talk to you about one possible solution to growing the connection, strengthening your marriage and improving your conversation- my monthly membership, Connected. For only $27 a month, you get 40 connecting questions/conversation starters you can use to have conversations with your partner that deepen connection and give you something to talk about other than "How was your day?", the weather, the kids or other "business like" topics of marriage and every day life. I give you two coaching calls that offer tips, tricks and ways for you to enhance your relationship and you get FREE access to any workshops I'm offering that month! For April, I'll be doing a workshop on communication styles. On the first of every month, the questions will change to 40 new conversation starters. The coaching videos from the previous month will come down and you'll have 2 new videos posted so as your membership renews, so will your marriage! Sign up for Connected here: recognizingpotential.teachable.com/p/connected
It would absolutely make my day if you would rate and review this podcast! Also, if you have any specific topics you'd like me to cover, please don't hesitate to email me at email@example.com
Ep 37: Using Your Attachment Style to Better Your Marriage w/Holly Smith, LCMFT
Today's guest is a wealth of knowledge and such an incredible gift to this world! Holly Smith is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the Kansas City Metro area. On this episode, we take a deep dive into attachments- anxious, avoidant, anxious/avoidant and secure. We discuss the enneagram and how that plays into attachment theories, how your upbringing and parenting styles shaped you and are shaping your children's attachment styles as well! If you are wanting to better your marriage, there are so many fantastic tips and nuggets of information in this one podcast episode! If you are struggling in your marriage, please reach out! Therapy, counseling and coaching doesn't have to be a last resort. It is absolutely effective for maintenance on your relationships, to better one part of your marriage or parenting relationships, or even as an individual, to better yourself and your situation. Here are some of the references we made on today's episode:
The Zimzum of Love: A New Way of Understanding Marriage by Rob & Kristen Bell, available on Amazon
Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential
Ep 36: The Stepmom Side- with Alicia Krasko
This week’s podcast episode features Alicia Krasko, a pilot wife, mom, stepmom, flight attendant and stepmom coach! This episode is truly conversational and you hear all the nitty gritty of divorce, dating after divorce, being a stepmom and so much more. Part of the conversation we do talk about me dating after divorce and that was a continuation of the conversation we had before the show. So no, you didn’t miss anything earlier in the podcast- it was just from earlier in the day.
We talk about parenting, setting expectations, how to parent with boundaries and respect. We discuss behavioral problems and how to address them in a way that reduces conflict.
Alicia and I dive into so many situations step parents may experience and talk about things we learned, things we wish we would’ve done differently and ways that our parenting styles helped us and our children thrive in those moments.
If you are a step-parent, you will definitely get a great deal of information out of hearing Alicia. If you’re a parent, divorced or not, you may also get some golden nuggets out of this episode!
Also, this was another interview I did the same week as last week’s. I promise I won’t use my airpods again to interview anyone. Thanks for your patience on this learning experience.
Another thing I’m learning and trying to do better with is being more inclusive. I understand that not all parents are “bio-parents”. Parenting looks like so many different scenarios! My apologies for saying “bio-parent”. I am learning and should in the future simply say “THE parent”. I will try to do better with that as well!
Here are the links to contact Alicia:
EP 35: Average to Elite Marriage w/Dr. Joli Hamilton
First of all, I apologize for the audio on this one. I was truly heartbroken when I heard the playback. I used airpods to record because for whatever reason, my microphone wasn't working that day. This won't be a mistake I make again.
This episode features Dr. Joli Hamilton. She is a research psychologist, AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sexuality educator, TedX speaker, and professor of human sexuality. She's the author of the bestselling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love. Joli holds a doctorate in depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute where she studied the impact of jealousy on relationships. Joli has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. She helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.
We dig into so many topics of relationships, specifically- jealousy. What is it? Where does it come from? How does it show up in the relationship and how do you get rid of it?
Dr. Hamilton and I dive into communication styles and what to do if yours are different than your partner's, how to create a relationship that is more than average, it's elite level! She talks all about her book Project Relationship as well as her own podcast. We have a conversation around so many aspects of relationships and marriage! This episode is sure to improve your relationships with yourself and your spouse.
**We do talk about sex. Non-Monogamous relationships are mentioned and a few other topics that little ears aren't developmentally ready to hear.**
You can grab her free relationship guides here: https://www.jolihamilton.com/bundle1
You can also find her at:https://www.jolihamilton.com/
Ep 34: The Power of Words & Communication
I'm planning an aviation summit mainly for pilot wives but really will help anyone in the aviation industry. We have over 10 speakers speaking over a two day period, giveaways and so many resources. If you're in the aviation industry and want to join that- go to www.facebook.com/groups/aviationsummit22
One of the intake questions for that group asks what you're struggling with. Almost half of the group said communication in one form or another. That made me realize that maybe everyone can benefit from some communication tips that aren't talked about often or thought of truly as communication. That's where this episode stemmed from. The ridiculous chant we heard as a kid that sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt me, so untrue! Couldn't possibly be further from the truth, in fact. Words have the power to build your partner up or tear them down, to provide solace and comfort or harm and hurt. When you're talking about the person who is supposed to be your number 1 only behind God, wouldn't you want to make sure those words are only being used in the utmost of ways? Of course you do! Here's how. I give you 7 communication tips in this episode, some of which you probably haven't thought about in a long time, if ever! Take a listen and be sure to apply what you learned to your marriage. Each one of these can be implemented as soon as you're finished listening to this episode!
If you love this episode, please review and share! It absolutely makes my day when listeners do that as it helps get the content into other people's hands so they can better their marriages as well! Also, if you'd like to tag me when you share, you can find my marriage coaching group at www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential and on IG you can find me at www.instagram.com/divorce.proof.marriage
Ep 33: Cultivating More Emotional Intimacy For Better Physical Intimacy
Happy New Year!!
I'm not gonna lie, this might be my best episode in a long time! It is NOT, however, in the best interest to listen with little ears as we do talk about sex on a deeper emotional level.
In this episode I talk all about how to know if your marriage is lacking the emotional intimacy you need to really be meeting your fullest potential as a couple. I explain in detail the differences between men and women in terms of communication styles, what is needed to build emotional connection, how to get back to that place you were when you were dating, and how to build better emotional connection so your life in the bedroom is FIRE! This episode also has some parenting hacks thrown in as emotions and emotional communication in parenting is concerned. Emotional regulation is not taught in public schools, as former educator, I know. Teachers try but it's really an icing on the cake thing, not something that's given a lot of time or effort, sadly. So it's up to parents to teach our kids and how can we do that if we don't have those skills in the first place? Additionally, we teach our children and our spouses how to communicate with us and I give examples of that in this episode!
Listen to this episode and if you love it or it helped you, please consider sharing it on your social media feeds. Don't forget to review it as well. It would absolutely make my day!
As always, if you had a revelation during this episode that you need help with anything I've talked about, please reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org for any course openings or 1:1 coaching options.
Talk to you next week! :)
Ep 32: Struggling to set goals? DO THIS!
WOW! The last episode before 2022! Can you believe it? In the beginning of this episode, I talk about what I have open for coaching possibilities and you can find or sign up for those at www.recognizingpotential.com/courses The rest of the episode is on how to set goals that you'll actually accomplish for the New Year! I talk about all the things to think about for reflective purposes and learning, how to see patterns in your life and what to do to fix those patterns. I talk all about what I'm doing and give you real examples of goals and how to set those. There is a lot of little nuggets in getting to know me in this episode as well so I hope you enjoy that too.
If you have any topics you want to hear in the new year, please email those to me at email@example.com. Also, if you haven't already, please go leave a review for the show! It helps get the show into more people's ears and also helps influencers that I'm wanting to interview say YES to being interviewed for the show! Did you know that's how they choose what they will and won't be interviewed for?
Ep 31: Creating A Happy You For A Happy Relationship with Dr. Tiffany Nguyen
This week's episode is with Dr. Tiffany Nguyen- a spiritual life coach and full-time pharmacist. Her story involves moving here from a different country and needing to find happiness. She found that and so much more! Dr. Nguyen helps people rediscover themselves after a break up or before a new relationship so they can get rid of old patterns and habits to build the best version of themselves. This allows that person to enter a relationship as a healthy, whole individual to create a healthy, whole, happy relationship/marriage.
On this episode, we talk a lot about self-awareness, what happiness is and how to achieve it, how relationships are formed from a healthy place, how to break unhealthy patterns in relationships and how obtaining inner peace is the key to having outer peace and fulfillment.
Note: the viewpoints of Dr. Nguyen do not reflect the viewpoints of Recognizing Potential Coaching or Kameran Thompson Al-Areqi. They are solely based on Dr. Nguyen's viewpoints, experiences and beliefs.
Dr. Nguyen's website is https://spunkyspiritualist.com/
If you have any other relationship/marriage topics you'd like to hear on the podcast, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Ep 30: In the Bedroom With Sex Coach Shannon Burton
This is the first ever episode where I have jumped into the topic of sex on this podcast. I asked you to give me your questions regarding sex and boy did you deliver! Sex coach Shannon Burton is an erotic poet and certified sex coach that answers all of your questions and dives into the importance of communication, making sure she comes before he does, what to do if you aren't "as good" in bed as your partner, E.D., how to make scheduled sex fun and so much more! This conversation lead into so many different topics! If you are struggling in the bedroom, a few pieces of advice that Coach Shannon offers is:
1. Don't wait to ask for help! Reach out! You can find her on Twitter @sexcoachshannon, on FB: Sex Coach Shannon, LinkedIn: Shannon Burton, SXI and on her website www.sexcoachshannon.com.
2. Communicate! If you struggle to communicate about sex because it's uncomfortable or you aren't sure where to start in getting a better sex life, again- reach out! Myself or Coach Shannon would be happy to dive into that with you to help you have a more fulfilling sex life.
3. Get to know yourself. Get to know your partner. It's the only way you're going to gain the fulfillment you are needing in the bedroom.
If you have any other questions that you'd like to ask, Coach Shannon has a blog where she answers your questions anonymously or directly.
There is a large stigma around getting help with your relationship and especially with your sex life but it doesn't have to be that way. Normalize getting help and accepting that everyone has things they need to be successful- maybe a coach is what you need, and that's ok!
Ep 29: Filter Your Marriage
Better Me, Better Us is open! This is THE course to teach you how to save your marriage by yourself! If you're ready to start making BIG changes in your marriage and your home without your partner being on board, jump in! We start Jan 4, 2022! Spots are limited and going fast! www.recognizingpotential.com/product/better-me-better-us
This week's episode is all about what the happiest marriages have- FILTERS! Everyone needs a filter on their mouth, a filter on their eyes and one for their heart to create a safe, peaceful marriage. So often it comes down to rewording your truth so that it's gently received instead of a blow to the gut, seeing your partner for who they are instead of who we want them to be, seeing marriage for what it is instead of the fairytale that Disney movies put into our heads from birth and filtering your heart so you have the ability to regulate your emotions. In this episode, I'm laying it all out there with specific examples from my own marriage how we do (and don't) apply these filters and what the results are from that. I give you tips and tricks on how to word things so they come off less abrasive to your spouse. These are tips you can start applying as soon as you hit end on this episode. If you need help with these, please email me at email@example.com. Additionally, if this helps you at all, don't forget to like, subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with others so they can have a beautiful marriage too!
Ep 28: One Way To Better Your Marriage By Yourself
Did you know we have over 400 thoughts a minute? Our self-talk creates our words, our decisions, and what we ultimately live into. If we are primarily engaged in negative self-talk, the environment around us is also going to be primarily negative. Change that script to being primarily positive and now we have a whole new world to live in that gives us and those around us more energy, more love, light and happiness. Here's my story of self-talk and how I changed mine to begin to better my marriage. I get very vulnerable with you about my marriage and what it was like 3 years ago before I started coaching so you can understand where I was, how bad it was and what I did to change my marriage...by myself. Yes, it's possible! I teach an entire 8 week full course on bettering your marriage by yourself! If you'd like to jump in on that, the link is- www.recognizingpotential.com/courses/better-me-better-us
If you're like me and you have a spouse who isn't on board with coaching, therapy or counseling, it's ok. There's PLENTY you can do to save your marriage by yourself. Changing your self-talk is only the start, the tip of the iceberg, if you will.
Take the challenge and start being mindful of your self-talk. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know how it's going for you! I'd love to hear from you and celebrate your success!
Ep 27: Intention, Perception & Gratitude of a Pilot Wife
Week 3 of our mini-series on marriages that aren't your typical togetherness every night of the week and how we make it work. This week is all about aviation life from a Pilot Wife's perspective. I talk about how my husband, Moe, and I make our relationship work when he's gone anywhere between 15-23 days a month. There is one disclaimer I need to mention. I talk in there about how pilot's don't make any money. I need to add to that. In the beginning when they're a first officer, flying for regionals like my husband does, they make very little. However, as they upgrade to captain and then onto the majors (United, Delta, American, etc) they do make good money and even better as they become a captain with seniority with those major companies. It's a VERY. LONG. ROAD. though. I do give a lot of good connection tips for long distance relationships in this episode and I am, true to who I am, quite honest about this life and how I feel about it. ;) It's not all sunshine and roses. These are things that a lot of people don't understand when they fly. They get to go see their families and that's fantastic but on the other side of that flight is a pilot who hasn't been home in several days and a family who is sacrificing a lot of family time so others can be with theirs. Next time you fly, thank your flight crew. Be kind to them. Show empathy. (Starbucks gift cards are ALWAYS appreciated as well.) PW life isn't all bad. Hard but also rewarding. I hope you find tools you can use in your own marriage.
EP:26 Real Talk with Maria Shelton
Man y'all! I'm so excited about this week's guest! Maria Shelton brings the HEAT with so many nuggets around marriage, supporting your spouse through grief and loss, supporting your spouse through entrepreneurship, career change and starting that journey. We talk candidly about parenting teens, building a relationship with God and life in general! Her attitude, grace and energy are so contagious and she is just as gorgeous on the inside as she is on the outside! I promise you there is something for every single person in this episode! Maria also just launched a course on making money off the lifestyle you're already living (yes! Even if YOU think it's boring, you can still make money off of it!) It is absolute FIRE! I signed up for it myself and am not just saying that 'cause she's my guest. It really is incredible! That can be found at https://www.mariashelton.com/courses
If you're a parent and needing help with your kiddo's lunches or wanting information on making money off your lifestyle, fashion advice or you just want a beautiful soul that you can follow, her IG handle is @maria.shelton
The audio is a little scratchy at times #countrylivin but it's still fantastic info! Please like, subscribe, share and leave a review!
Ep: 25 Dedication & Effort- A Military Wife's Perspective with Christy Vest
Today, I’m kicking off this mini-series with a special guest. A former Naval fighter pilot turned Navy wife and mom to two beautiful daughters while simultaneously being a top performer at her full time job and doing it all while her husband is on an 18 month deployment half way around the world. She’s hilarious, down to earth and so much fun! I cannot put into words how much I enjoyed this interview!
We get into mindset, what it takes to make a deployment work, what the day to day looks like, how to speak your partner's love languages, communicate and gets needs met when you're on different continents. We talk about her experience in having a baby when her husband was deployed and she didn't have family close. Christy gives so much insight, a truly strong and positive mindset shift to those needing one and so many relationship tips in this episode! This is very conversational and less of an interview but the information was fantastic! Don't forget to like, subscribe, review and share!
If you'd like to check out more blog posts, coaching videos or course options- head on over to www.recognizingpotential.com
I can't wait to help you with your relationship!
Ep 24: How Your Childhood Is Affecting Your Marriage
23: Finding your Purpose & Managing Emotions with Katrina Hahling
WOW! This episode is like a constant reel of life nuggets! If you are searching for your purpose, need help with emotional regulation, self-management, or are wondering how emotional intelligence plays into your daily life, this is the episode for you! Australian native, Katrina Hahling, is a brilliant author, purpose coach, restaurant owner, podcaster and so many other things! We talk in depth about so many topics in this episode, you will for sure find something to love. If you would like to order Katrina's book to help you reach your goals, The Desire Manifesto can be found on Amazon. Her facebook group Empowered Femme can be joined at www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredfemme Her website is www.katrinahahling.com and she can be found on instagram at www.instagram.com/katrina_hahling
Don't forget to like, share, comment and subscribe!
Ep 22: 10 Reasons You NEED Pre-Marital Coaching
You've planned your wedding down to the finest detail but have you planned for your marriage? How will you navigate your first fight as husband and wife? How will you navigate holidays, in-laws, children, roles, expectations, and the many trials and tribulations that marriage brings? In this episode, we cover how to make sure that your marriage is 30% happier, a small habit to start that will bring your marriage to a 12% divorce probability. We talk about how love is a verb, not a noun. The tools you learn in pre-marital coaching will literally change your family tree for the better! Remember those times where you're not going to "feel in love". These and other times will require more connection. Every person feels connection differently. Now is the time to learn how to connect with your partner on a deeper level. Learn how to be and have attentiveness, responsiveness and engagement. Learn how to fight fair. Conflict is inevitable in marriage. Most people bring in fight styles they've learned from their parents or in past relationships. Many of these fight styles aren't healthy. With coaching, you learn how to fight fair so you're fighting together instead of against each other. If you want more info on pre-marital coaching, email me at email@example.com
21: Finding Your Happiness
Are you happy? Do you put your happiness in food, substances, money, time, or even project it onto your partner, making it their responsibility to make you happy? What do you value? Today's episode is for all the moms that are lost, lonely and not sure where their happiness is found. It's for all the men that aren't happy in their marriage, aren't sure they could ever make their wife happy and not sure where to start. It's for anyone who is confused on whether finding happiness is even a possibility. We talk all about finding happiness in marriage, not running from the pain that life brings because it means something so much more, what's on the other side of that pain and what happiness really is. It's a short episode but packed with wisdom and life nuggets! I mention a coach, Taylor Lee. You can find her @_thetaylorlee on IG. She's a great business coach to follow! If you're interested in either of the two programs mentioned that teach about happiness- email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
20: Back to School Tips From a Former Teacher
19: Motivation, Wellness and Being 1% Better Every Day
WOW y'all! I could not have been more fortunate to interview Taylor Kincebach for this week's episode! Founder and CEO of Taylor Made Tasty, Taylor is a Goals Success Coach who will rock your socks off and truly magnetize your life with her energy! In this episode, we talk all about how Taylor Made Tasty came to be, being a bonus mom and how she makes co-parenting such a success, the programs she has coming out, how she started her journey when her husband didn't want to do it with her (at first ;)) and her 70+ lb weight loss!! This episode has so many incredible life nuggets in it! At the time of recording, Taylor and I were still in our 9-5 jobs. That has since changed as I quit teaching in June and Taylor became a full-time CEO this month!! Please help me celebrate her by going to follow her on social media and dropping her a note of congrats! You can find her at @taylormadetasty on IG. She has a monthly membership that is 10/10!! www.taylormadetasty.com/membership
Travel Hacks for a Thriving Marriage and Family
Blending a family with grace
Microstressors- What Are They and How to Avoid Them!
Are you tired? Drained of daily energy? Burnt out? Feeling like you're going through the motions and can't stay motivated? Your microstressor level may be above the limit! Microstressors are small increments of stress that come as an annoyance, unexpected shift or decision, or an unexpected daily hassle that produces low levels anxiety and cortisol. Your alarm clock going off, your child needing a specific shirt for school that hasn't been washed yet, spilling coffee on your white shirt on the way to work when you're already late (that's actually 2 right there). As the microstressors rack up throughout the day, it doesn't seem like a lot but it adds up over time. Our bodies become chronically stressed out so our health is chronically in the tank. How do we increase the energy? Stop feeling burned out? Stay motivated? Avoid the microstressors as much as possible? What do we need to really thrive in our lives, our relationships, as a parent? How does this all relate to our children? Statistically, our kids are more stressed out than we ever were at their age! How do we help them?
Join me in this episode as I break it all down. My goal here is to help you become better spouses, better parents, and help our children really thrive in these uncertain times by meeting our needs in the order of importance.
Learning to Adjust to Expectations and Change
What keeps us from investing in ourselves?
All Things Enneagram with Brooke Genn
This week I sat down with Brooke Genn a retreat photographer, writer, podcaster, Enneagram couple specialist, self-love advocate and all-around incredible human being. We chat like long-lost friends about all things enneagram and how it’s affected both our lives and relationships. Join us in this episode and if it leaves you wanting more in the enneagram, head over to my website www.recognizingpotential.com for more info on my new course that releases this Monday. We talk all about our husbands, their numbers, our numbers, how our numbers have shaped us as human beings and how we’ve used other’s numbers to love them better. We discuss Brooke’s movement on self-love, how she and her husband work together, live in a tiny (300sq ft) home and still have a successful relationship. You can follow Brooke on Insta @brookegenn, @brookeandwilhelm or @enneagramcouples