Recovery (Sort Of) - The Podcast

We are talking about the spiritual principles of acceptance and surrender? What do they mean? Are acceptance and surrender the same thing? Are the expressing 2 different levels of the same idea? We attempt to sift through the subtle nuance of difference between acceptance and surrender. Listen in as we explore the spiritual principles and share your thoughts with us.

Audible links for books we talk about:

What in the world is interconnectedness? We have Dave join us to talk about the idea that everything is connected. We then explore what that might mean for our actions, how that comes into our lives, and how we decide to act in situations. Using Buddhist stories, and stories from everyday life, we talk about the cost of not understanding our interconnectedness. Listen in and then share your thoughts with us.

We are exploring the spiritual principle of integrity. What is integrity? We honestly spend most of the episode on this question. There are a lot of different ideas about integrity and what it is. We also seem to bring up the concept of integrity versus authenticity, and if they can co-exist. Frequently the conversation becomes whether integrity is a personal thing or whether society gets a say in what integrity is. Finally, we introduce the fundamental attribution error. Listen in to hear about integrity, and share your thoughts with us.

Episodes mentioned:

Ever heard of sound healing? What is sound healing? We have Denise join us to explore the world of sound healing. We talk about humming, sound bowls, singing, and a variety of other ways to make sound. But how is it healing? Denise helps explain how the vibrations of sound healing can assist in getting ourselves back into balance. We find out where to start our sound healing journey. Listen in and then share your thoughts with us.

From the episode:

We are exploring the world of Co-Dependents Anonymous. CoDA for short, the program explores unhealthy relationships and unhealthy boundaries through the 12 step lens. It's the 12 step program we said everyone needed when we got to our respective programs. We talk about what signs might look like that someone is struggling with co-dependency. What kinds of things have to be changed to find freedom in CoDA. And how to get started if you think CoDA might be for you. Listen in as Beverly joins us to help explore the world of Co-Dependent's Anonymous, and then share your thoughts with us.

From the episode:

We explore the concept of building a network, or networking, in your recovery. Where to start with building a support system? What are you looking for in the people? How do you find people? How do you get them in your network? How does finding and maintaining your network change over time? Where can you look to build a network, does it have to be in meetings, or can it be other places as well? Listen in as we explore the world of building a network and support system in recovery, and then share your thoughts with us.

Episodes mentioned:

We are exploring the world of Overeaters Anonymous (OA). We have Grace join us for a conversation around the workings of OA. Does it work just like AA or NA? What kind of differences do people run into when trying to work the OA program than other programs. Can people who struggle with undereating also use the OA program? What kind of signs might tell us if we had disordered eating? Do you come up with your own definition of abstinence? Listen in as Grace helps us learn about the program of Overeaters Anonymous, and then share your thoughts with us.

From the episode:

In this episode of Recovery (Sort Of), we dive into the topic of love languages and how they can impact relationships in addiction recovery. We explore the five love languages - words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch - and discuss how understanding and communicating in each language can strengthen relationships and promote lasting recovery. Whether you're new to recovery or have been sober for years, learning to speak the language of love can be a powerful tool for building healthy connections and finding fulfillment in sobriety. Listen in and then share your thoughts with us.

From the episode:

We are talking all about the role of exercise in recovery. How does movement assist our goal of recovery? In what ways can we seek fitness that will help us on the path to feeling more whole? We talk about how physical activity has been show to create greater results than therapy. We explore the benefits to mental health from getting endorphins going. We explore what kinds of exercise might be best for your wellness. Listen in as we explore holistic health through fitness, and then share your thoughts with us.

From the episode:

We are talking about the spiritual principle of gratitude. We look into trying to find a solid definition we can agree on. Then we talk about what gratitude might look like in your life, or feel like. We give a list of ways to practice gratitude, and also list some of the benefits of increasing your gratitude. Listen in and then share your thoughts with us.

Episodes mentioned:

We are going through listener feedback, comments, and the like. Listener feedback on episodes provides a great opportunity for a little closer look at the topics recently covered. Billy and Jason also share a little about where their lives are at and what they've been up to. Listen in, participate, comment, and share your thoughts with us.

Episodes mentioned:

We are exploring the program of Sexaholics Anonymous. Rick joins us to talk about how the program works, how it differs from more traditional recovery programs, and what you can expect when going to a meeting or working the program. We talk about the differences that we know between the different sex addiction programs. We talk about concerns and questions we have with the program. We explore why the program might feel useful. And we talk about some of the ways you might know that a meeting about sex addiction might be beneficial for you. Listen in as we explore Sexaholics Anonymous and then share your thoughts with us. 

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We have on Caroline Beidler, MSW and author of the book, Downstairs Church, to help us explore the world of recovery from a female perspective. We talk about the lack of housing options for women in recovery, the lack of access to treatment, lack of childcare supports at every step of the recovery process, and what we might be able to do right now to ease some of these struggles. Listen in as Caroline joins the Recovery (Sort Of) crew to talk about the challenges women face in recovery, then share your thoughts with us. 

From the episode:

We are exploring the difficult topic of what it's like to be a survivor of suicide loss. We have Austin on to help us explore the challenges of navigating life after losing someone you love to suicide. We talk about the grief, the ways recovery helped, other things that have helped, and ways to try to assist when we see someone struggling. Listen in as we explore this tough topic. 

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We are talking about the spiritual principle of humility. What does it mean to be humble? It sounds similar to humiliation, but it's very different. We try to define humility. We talk about thinking of ourselves less instead of thinking less of ourselves. How can we increase our humility? Is there a way to practice it? Then we make Billy take a quiz on humility. Listen in and then share your thoughts with us. 

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We are exploring the spiritual principle of tolerance. What does it mean to be tolerant of something? Is it purely to be able to put up with it? Or is tolerance being open to it? Is there such a thing as too much tolerance? Billy, Caraline, Jason and Jenny try to figure out just what tolerance, or to tolerate, is, and also how to practice this spiritual principle. 

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We are talking with a member of Marijuana Anonymous (MA) to find out more about the program. Do they work similar steps to the more familiar programs of NA and AA? What kind of requirements do they have for membership. Do they call it clean time? What is different from a more typical 12 step meeting? Also, listen in to learn about the free literature in Marijuana Anonymous, the app that you can answer your step work in for free, and how to access meetings and more about the program. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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We are exploring MARA, Medication-Assisted Recovery Anonymous. This program, created to address the need of a place for persons using medication assisted recovery methods, is intended to provide a space for all to feel welcomed in recovery. We have Murk on to help us understand what to expect from MARA, how to access their meetings, what might surprise us coming from a more traditional 12 step fellowship, and the importance of language in recovery. If you've ever wondered what a medication assisted recovery program could look like, or if you or someone you know is looking for a place to rest and find like minded people, listen in and then share your thoughts with us. 

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We are talking about the concept of beginner's mind. Dave joins us to teach the Buddhist idea of beginner's mind. Does beginner's mind mean to not know? Does it mean to come to a situation as if you have never seen it before? What is beginner's mind useful for? Why is it good for your loved ones if you practice beginner's mind? We also talk about what is NOT beginner's mind. And when beginner's mind might not be the most useful or practical tool in your toolbox. Listen in as we explore beginner's mind, and share your thoughts with us. 

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We are talking about Certified Peer Recovery Specialists. Or certified peers. Or peers. Or certified recovery peers. Whatever you want to call them, peers are making an impact in the recovery world. We talk with Jenn, from Voices of Hope, about the peer movement. We explore what a peer is, what training goes into becoming a peer, what the peer job entails, and what peers should not be doing in their role as a peer. Have questions about peers? We have answers. Listen in as we explore the world of Certified Peers and then tell us your thoughts. 

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TranqDope, aka xylanzine and fentanyl, is becoming more and more prevalent in the Baltimore/Philadelphia area. Xylazine in a tranquilizer, hence the tranqdope term. This is a dangerous mixture to anyone who does not know what they are getting, because narcan does not work on a tranquilizer overdose. Further making this terrible for anyone struggling with using, is the wounds that sometimes appear after using xylazine. We talk with Nurse Jason about this scary new mix of drugs that are on the street in place of heroin, how to recognize it, what to do with it once you know, and safest methods of taking care of the wound. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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Unconditional love. Seems like a lofty goal. We investigate and explore unconditional love as a spiritual principle. How can we practice this? Where is a model of unconditional love in the world? Is unconditional love the deepest love, or the most basic love? Is unconditional love, abuse? Is love more about the feeling, or the actions that go with it? How can we practice unconditional love when we are being harmed by the person? We dive into all this and more in our episode. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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We are talking about the promises from AA's big book and program. Originally a reading in the 9th step section of the Big Book, the promises have been made into a reading in AA, and separated out into 12 promises. We go through each promise to see if we believe that it's a promise we feel like the 12 steps could live up to fulfilling. Are these even possible ways of being in the world? And if they are, can the 12 steps promise that they can get us there? Join us as we talk through our thoughts on the promises, and then share your thoughts with us. 

Books referenced in this episode:

With many states enacting medical marijuana laws at this point, and most of those also having recreational marijuana laws, we thought it was time to explore the legalizing marijuana debate. We explore some of the topics around the idea of marijuana legalization. Some of the research has conflicting results, but we talk through some of the basic points. Listen in and then tell us your thoughts. 

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Is faith really a spiritual principle? What is it? A belief in something? What does this belief do for us? How in the world would you practice faith? Faith is defined in many ways. Some level of belief applied to a situation that you may not be able to know for sure. We discuss the spiritual principle of faith. Is faith so closely tied to Christianity that it makes our non-religious 12 step program religious anyway? We talk about what faith might be useful for, whether it's something we can increase, or just a description of where we already are, and if it's actually any different than hope or trust. Listen in as we take a deep dive into faith, and then share your thoughts with us.

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Is you or someone you love struggling with getting into a detox or rehab for alcohol use? Have you felt like you've been getting the run around? Does it seem like people who are entering treatment for other substances have an easier time getting in? Not to go too conspiracy theory on you, but we have Charlie on to talk about the problems people face when trying to gain access to treatment for alcohol use disorder. Spoiler alert: it all comes down to profit, money, and capitalism. Listen in and share your thoughts and experiences with us. 

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Ever heard of mommy and me housing? Or a mommy and me program? What comes to mind when you think of a service like that? Do you think of people that you've known who were in mommy and me housing? Is it safe to have kids with their newly recovering mothers? What supports are present to help the new moms in recovery? We talk with Sarah Jo about her time in the mommy and me house and what to expect if you are going there. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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What do you do when meetings stop working? Conventional 12 step wisdom says it's not the meetings that are the problem, it's the individual, who isn't doing enough, trying enough, or looking at it the right way. And if you don't hit meetings, you'll use and die. But we explore the options in case that's not true. What do you do when meetings stop hitting the spot? What need was it that meetings used to fill for you? Have you found another way to get that need met? We explore what to do when it does not feel like going to meetings has any value to it currently. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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We explore the spiritual principle of self-discipline. Is self-discipline different than self-control? Are both of these also different than willpower? What actually is self-discipline? How does it work? Do we train ourselves to get better at sticking to a plan? Do we actively find ways to calm our nervous system over time so that we are more capable of sticking to a set routine or schedule? Can you increase self-discipline and how? We talk all about how self-discipline can help you in life, where it comes from, and what we believe can help you develop more of it. Listen in and share your thoughts with us!

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Do you have boundaries? In today's episode we explore the world of personal boundaries. We talk about why personal boundaries are important to your life. We look at signs that might show up in your life if you are needing to set some boundaries. We explain some of what we understand about why we suffer from struggling to set boundaries, as it's related to our childhoods. We explore the myths about boundary setting. We talk about the benefits you might experience from having set boundaries. Finally, we walk through some practices that could help you explore where your boundaries might need to be, and how to put them in place. Dive into boundary setting with us and then tell us what you've learned about setting your personal boundaries. 

How to find us and join the conversation:

You know when you are in a meeting and THAT person shares? Yeah, that one. Do we ask people to stop sharing? Or shut down their share? If someone is clearly talking about a mode of recovery that is not the 12 step approach, is there benefit to stopping their share? We tend to think about keeping the integrity of the program intact, or about the atmosphere of recovery, but what about for the individual that gets asked to stop speaking, is there any benefit to them? Or harm? We explore what types of things can be shared at meetings that might invite a home group member to ask someone to stop sharing, and also possible best practices of taking that action. Listen in and then share your experience with us. 

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Clean time seems to be held as the end all, be all of the recovery world. Yet, we already know that the word "clean," which evolved from urinalysis results, is a stigmatizing word. Because that means those who aren't clean, are dirty. And what about the modern research and science that has proven more effectiveness with other forms of recovery? Are people following the science in their recovery shunned away because they can't participate in clean time? And while counting your time personally might be an effective tool for some, what about the way the 12 step fellowships use clean time as some sort of Purity Test? Listen in as we debate whether the concept of counting time of abstinence is more helpful or more harmful, and share your thoughts with us. 

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What do you know about forgiveness as a spiritual principle? It is suggested we practice forgiveness, but how? Is forgiveness only accepting and letting it go, or does it involve ultimately wishing well the purpose you needed to forgive. Does forgiveness mean there must be reconciliation of the relationship? Why is forgiveness important? Are there health benefits from practicing forgiveness? Is forgiveness related to self-compassion somehow? Is there a strategy or steps to practice when desiring to forgive? Listen in as we talk about all these questions and more. Then reach out and share with us how forgiveness has helped you, or how you learned to practice forgiveness. 

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Have you encountered a family member at a 12 step meeting? I think it's generally common practice at an anniversary, but what about at another meeting? Did you feel like they didn't belong there, or were bothered by their presence? Did the non-program member feel like they hindered the meeting process in any way? Or have you always thought of family members attending as a positive, a family that wanted to be involved. We talk with a mom who attends meetings with her daughter about why mom goes, what mom has gained from attending meetings with her daughter, and how the family system can help support recovery. Listen in as Brook joins us to help us explore family members in meetings. 

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Ever heard of a fentanyl dispensary? In Vancouver, Canada, they now have a maintenance program that dispenses fentanyl instead of alternative medications. There are a lot of feelings about this, positive and negative. We talk about whether this is a good idea, if the implementation seems to be ina  useful way, and how this could impact the struggle with opioid use disorder. We also mention how many people are confused by the idea that this is a treatment for "addiction," which it is not. Further, we address some of the concerns around giving people drugs, taxpayer costs, etc. Listen in as we explore ideas around harm reduction by talking about a pilot program that gives people fentanyl. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

How to find us and join the conversation:

This month we look at the spiritual principle of compassion. Interestingly, while compassion is the source of the 12 step world, we rarely talk about the principle of compassion by name. You'll hear honesty, open-mindedness and willingness in most meetings, but when's the last time you heard someone say compassion? We get into defining compassion, exploring the benefits of compassion, and looking at ways science has said we can increase compassion. And if you have a ton of extra time on your hands, we take a compassion quiz at the end. Listen in and share your thoughts on compassion with us. 

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We explore the question: Is alcoholism different than drug addiction? Further, are process or behavioral addictions different than drug addictions? Do these different ways of experiencing obsession and compulsion actually act differently in the body? Not the substances themselves, but the addictive process, or features? How does the half-life of alcohol possibly impact the difference? Is the way society views alcohol, versus the way society views drugs, the only difference? Listen in and contact us with your thoughts about alcoholism versus drug addiction. 

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Martin joins us to discuss what it's been like trying to recovery from substance use and also tragedy. We get into the shame that separates us from finding joy in our current lives. We talk about trying to stay on the positive side while being in a negative environment. We explore dealing with the unfairness of life. Martin brings an incredible voice to the table to discuss his life which has gone from horror to miracle. Listen in and share your thoughts with us. 

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We attempt to tackle the topic of marriage in recovery. Joining us as guests are Jenn and Kim. Jenn is married to Billy and Kim is married to Jason. Jenn is in recovery with Billy, while Kim is not a member of the recovery community. Together, we explore what makes a marriage work whether both members are in recovery or only one member. Are there rules around recovery marriages, such as keeping your recoveries separate, or having different homegroups? Or is that all a myth? Listen in and share your thoughts about marriage in recovery with us. 

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We are talking all about patience. Is there science behind the idea of patience? Is patience a spiritual principle, to be applied in all situations? Or is patience more of a virtue, that is meant to be practiced in a proper balance? Are there times patience can be a negative in your life? How would you go about increasing patience? Are there practices you can use to gain more patience? Listen in as we discuss all of these ideas and more and then share your thoughts with us. 

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We talk about things we used to believe. And not just believe, but things we would argue to the death were right, and now we don't even believe them anymore. We examine some of the things we have shared in meetings, with people in our network, with sponsees, that we not only don't believe anymore, but actually think is unhealthy or bad information. We examine ideas like: