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Regulated & Relational

Regulated & Relational

By Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc.

Join Julie Beem & Ginger Healy as we explore the trauma-informed, attachment-focused concepts of Regulation (self-regulation/co-regulation) and Relationship (building connection) and how we can help children build resilience and emotional health through the ways in which we parent, teach and care for children. This podcast is produced by the Attachment & Trauma Network, or ATN, a leading national non-profit supporting children impacted by trauma through their families, schools and communities.
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Ep 48 - The Power of the Pause

Regulated & RelationalMay 16, 2023

Ep 48 - The Power of the Pause

Ep 48 - The Power of the Pause

In this session, Julie and Ginger invite Dr. Jon Baylin into the studio.   Dr. Baylin received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in 1981 and he has been working in the mental health field for 35 years.   He has immersed himself in the study of neuroscience and in teaching mental health practitioners about the brain. Dr. Baylin delivers keynote addresses nationally and internationally. He collaborates with Dr. Daniel Hughes and their first book, Brain Based Parenting, was released in 2012. In 2016, their second book, The Neurobiology of Attachment-Focused Therapy was released.

Today, Julie, Ginger and Dr. Baylin are talking about the “Power of the Pause”.  Dr. Baylin says a child’s brain, especially one that has experience childhood trauma, is all about getting a very quick reaction to things, but sometimes that fast reaction is not the best. By teaching the children the power of the pause, we can help them gain self-control and feel empowerment.  The pause helps all of us move beyond only using our amygdala and using the higher portion of our brain.   Dr. Baylin says, “We can upshift our brains by pausing.”

Listen in to learn more about this concept and how it truly is based in relationship.

To order Dr. Baylin and Dr. Hughes’ books, visit ATN’s Bookshop at

May 16, 202337:34
Ep 47 - The Importance of Feeling Safe

Ep 47 - The Importance of Feeling Safe

In this episode, Julie and Ginger discuss the concept of “Felt Safety”.   You can’t trust, heal, or learn in a state of unsafety.  This isn’t only about physical safety, but this concept also includes emotional safety.   It’s all about the state of your nervous system.  Listen in to understand what happens in a child’s brain when they are unsafe, either from a perceived or actual threat.  Ginger says, “Children need help returning to the baseline of felt safety through co-regulation.” That is the adult’s responsibility.

Safety is always first, so how does the adult bring about a feeling of safety for the child.  First, believe in the child and listen to what they are experiencing.  Next, increase predictability, structure, and routine.  Also, be careful with your tone of voice. Avoid sarcasm and avoid yelling. And remember - creating an environment of felt safety is important for all children, not just those with early childhood trauma. It is for all of us!

To order ATN’s Calm Kits, visit ATN’s store at Videos on how to use each calm kit item is included with the purchase.

If you choose to create your own “calm kit”, be sure to include tactile items such as fidgets, squishies, silly putty, silicone sponges, shaving cream, weighted blankets, mini tramps, crash pads, pillows and chair bands, just to name a few.

To join our upcoming book study, go to To sign up for our Movies That Matter Series, click  Hope to see you there!


May 03, 202349:22
Ep 46 - Our Hidden Senses
Apr 18, 202342:40
Ep 45 - Preventing Childhood Sexual Abuse

Ep 45 - Preventing Childhood Sexual Abuse

In this episode Ginger and Julie invite Tracy Leonard into the studio. Tracy is the Programming and Partnership Manager at the non-profit, Darkness to Light.  Darkness to Light empowers adults to prevent child abuse.  She is also an authorized facilitator and certified instructor at Darkness to Light. The curriculum focuses on how to recognize, react, and respond to child sexual abuse. Tracy is also vital to ATN as a board member and the leader of the development team.

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, so this episode is very timely. The US Department of Health and Human Services recently put out their report for 2021 stating that 76% of all children experience neglect. 16% experience physical abuse and 10% experience sexual abuse…  And realize - these are the reported cases. 

Darkness to Light believes that it is an adult’s responsibility to protect children and it is a child’s responsibility to be a child. Listen in to learn more about the curriculum that Darkness to Light developed and presents.  They focus on how to minimize the opportunity for sexual abuse.  If it does happen, adults are taught how to react. Adults are also taught how to intervene if they see someone crossing the boundary by being an active bystander. Tracy says that it is amazing to see all the light bulbs go off during the training.

To learn more about the Darkness to Light program, to go  .

Apr 04, 202342:13
Ep 44 - Trauma in the Pews
Feb 14, 202334:46
Ep 43 - Exploring the River of Cruelty
Jan 31, 202337:35
Ep 42 - What is Blocked Care

Ep 42 - What is Blocked Care

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the concept of “Blocked Care”. Drs. Daniel Hughes and Jonathan Baylin first coined this concept in their book, Brain Based Parenting. This book was written with foster parents in mind, but blocked care can also be experienced by teachers and other caregivers of children impacted by early childhood trauma. What exactly does blocked care mean to caregivers and how can we avoid it? What are the signs of blocked care? Julie says. “The first sign is when you are doing all the right things, but the child’s neurobiology is reacting negatively. Your brain begins to react because you aren’t getting a reciprocal relationship. You are going through the motions but begin to expect no connections. Basically, your heart suddenly isn’t in it anymore.” If this sounds like you, we want to assure you that you’re not alone. This happens almost instinctively as a way of protecting yourself, but Julie and Ginger discuss some ways to help you through it. Recognize that this is not unusual and there is no shame in feeling this way. This is how we are wired. Reach out to ATN! This is why we are here. We can help you find resources. To order a copy of the book, Brain Based Parenting, go to ATN’s bookstore at

Jan 17, 202343:36
Ep 41 - Trauma-Informed Teaching and IEPs
Jan 03, 202339:50
Ep 40 - What Makes Mr. Chazz Tick?
Dec 20, 202238:06
Ep 39 - The Regulated Classroom
Dec 06, 202231:32
Ep 38 - Brain-Body Parenting
Nov 22, 202235:52
Ep 37 - Serve and Return

Ep 37 - Serve and Return

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the concept of Serve and Return. This notion was introduced through the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Harvard defines serve and return as “responsive interactions between children and the people who care for them and how those interactions help the children grow and reach their full potential.” So, what does that actually look like? Ginger outlines the five steps of serve and return and explains how we can implement them into our daily lives. Listen in to learn how to recognize what our children are serving to us and how we can return to them. At its core, it is all about attachment. Every child needs someone who is crazy about them, so go and be crazy about your kid!!!

Check out the website for the Center on the Developing Child for more incredible resources.

Nov 08, 202240:10
Ep 36 - Therapeutic Parenting 102

Ep 36 - Therapeutic Parenting 102

In this episode, Julie and Ginger continue their discussion of therapeutic parenting. If you are caring for a child with a trauma history, you know that therapeutic parenting is needed for the long haul, and we must make these strategies work. Co-regulation is vital, but how can we achieve it with our children? Ginger says, “We need to understand what a child can do and what they can’t do.” When they are in a position of fight, flight, or freeze, they can’t do what we are asking of them. Co-regulation is the answer to helping them get out of those states. Julie and Ginger also discuss the concept of do-overs and we all need do-overs in our lives!

Please reach out to us with your therapeutic parenting questions. We would love to help you. The Attachment & Trauma Network has a great many resources at our fingertips. Send an email to That’s what we are here for!

Oct 25, 202232:29
Ep 35 - Therapeutic Parenting 101
Oct 11, 202249:50
Ep 34 - Helping Teen Brains with Improv
Sep 27, 202250:40
Ep 33 - A New School Year: Hopes and Challenges

Ep 33 - A New School Year: Hopes and Challenges

Julie and Ginger invite Sandra Lake and James Moffett into the studio. They are both awesome trauma informed educators, and in this episode, they are discussing what it is like in schools this year versus last year. They both agree that safety and security are paramount, but how can that be accomplished in a non-traumatizing way? – Relationships. Its all about relationships. Sandra says, “Whatever amount of time you spend building relationships with your kids, double it. Double that time because the payout is huge.” James says that his school is making a move from focusing on “every” student to focusing on “each” student.

Listen in to find out what is a walk and talk, what is a tap in tap out, what is a hang out, what is a flip flop. These are the techniques they are using in their schools to help regulate not only the students, but also the staff.

What incredible words of wisdom they share!

Sep 13, 202234:08
Ep 32 - Secondary Traumatic Stress
Aug 30, 202247:37
Ep 31 - School Resource Officer & Trauma-Informed School Safety, talking with Becky Haas
Aug 16, 202240:19
Ep 30: Advocating against Restraint & Seclusion - a conversation with Guy Stephens
Aug 02, 202257:34
Ep. 29: Boundaries
Jul 19, 202219:04
Ep 28: The Challenges of Using Praise
Jul 05, 202239:40
Ep 27: Disappointment and Expectations
Jun 21, 202221:12
Ep 26: The Special Attachment Window of Young Adulthood: An Interview with Jack Hinman, Psy.D.
Jun 07, 202246:23
Ep 25: The Dangers of Social Media for our Teens- A Conversation with Jethro Jones
May 24, 202248:08
Ep 24: Using Stories to Heal: A Conversation with Jane Samuel

Ep 24: Using Stories to Heal: A Conversation with Jane Samuel

In this episode, Julie and Ginger have long-time ATN friend, Jane Samuel in the studio.  Jane is a marriage and family associate whose practice focuses on children and families with an attachment-focused lens. Many of her clients are foster and adoptive families.  In this episode, she talks about the value of narratives and storytelling. What exactly is a narrative?  How can this be used in healing? Storytelling is useful in all settings – by parents, by teachers, and by clinicians. Jane also suggests that caregivers use books to open up discussions of hard topics.  Jane has compiled a list of books that she recommends, organized by topics and feelings.  For a list of books that Jane recommends, go here:

According to Dr. Curt Thompson, “We are the only mammals that narrate our lives.” What a gift we have!

May 10, 202247:53
Ep 23 Restorative (and Trauma-Informed) Practices in Schools: An Interview with Joe Brummer

Ep 23 Restorative (and Trauma-Informed) Practices in Schools: An Interview with Joe Brummer

In this episode, Ginger and Julie dive into Restorative Practices with Joe Brummer in the studio.  Joe is an expert in developing trauma-informed and restorative approaches in schools and organizations.  He is a consultant and author of the book, Building a Trauma-Informed Restorative School. This book can be ordered from ATN’s bookstore at Building a Trauma Informed Restorative School.  Joe is also a member of ATN’s PD Collaborative, a group of trauma-informed educational experts available to provide PD training, consultation and support to school districts and organizations embarking on becoming trauma-informed.

Joe explains what Restorative Practices are and how these practices are implemented in schools. How do these practices differ from punitive practices and why do they work? Joe says, “The paradigm shift is the knowledge that the wrong-doing caused a break in relationships, not a break in rules.”

To get more information, or reach out to Joe, go to

For more information about ATN’s PD Collaborative, go here:

Apr 26, 202244:11
Ep 22 - The Balance of Structure and Nurture
Apr 12, 202248:54
Ep 21: Building Resilience during Covid...A Reflection on What We've Learned
Feb 15, 202238:18
Ep 20: Reframing the Narrative with Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH
Feb 01, 202233:29
Ep 19: The Re-Set Process: An Interview with Dyane Carrere
Jan 18, 202254:09
Ep 18: Pushing Past Your Own Perspectives - Interview with Emily Meeks and Taneesha Thomas
Jan 04, 202231:32
Ep 17: What is a Trauma-Informed School?
Dec 21, 202132:10
Ep 16: Living Expertly, Truth Telling and Joy Stalking: A Conversation with Cissy White
Dec 07, 202143:39
Ep 15: Holiday Hang-Ups
Nov 23, 202147:20
Ep 14: Understanding Shame - Part 2

Ep 14: Understanding Shame - Part 2

In this episode, Julie and Ginger revisit the concept of shame.  Shame is a dangerous tool that leads to maladaptive behaviors.  Ginger says that “Shame is much more likely to cause destructive behaviors than to cure them.”  They explore the differences between empathy and sympathy by using Brene Brown’s video found here:  If you want to learn more about how to become shame resistant and exercise self-compassion, visit Kristin Neff’s website at

Don’t forget! Our 5th annual Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference is coming up in February! For more information about this conference go to:  Here you can learn more about the conference and register. We hope to see you there!

Nov 09, 202141:34
Ep 13: Understanding Shame- Part 1
Oct 26, 202127:43
Ep 12:  Exploring Burnout
Oct 12, 202140:03
Ep 11: How Big is Your Window?
Sep 28, 202132:01
Ep 10: Why Rewards & Punishments Don't Always Work
Sep 14, 202152:11
Ep 9: Back to School During a Pandemic, an Interview with Jen Alexander
Aug 31, 202139:01
Ep 8: OMG! My Child Needs Special Education!

Ep 8: OMG! My Child Needs Special Education!

Today Julie and Ginger partner with Michele Nigliazzo, ATN’s Court Advocacy Director.  They discuss the impact of discovering that your child needs Special Education services. They reveal that grief is a natural response. Listen to Julie, Ginger and Michele share how to best navigate IEP meetings. Michelle recommends two books on the subject: From Emotions to Advocacy and Special Education and the Law.  Visit the Wright’s Law website,,  to  learn even more.

Don’t forget about our upcoming virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  This is an incredible opportunity to learn more about special education advocacy for children impacted by trauma (and others as well).  Not to mention a great opportunity to experience the support and resources of ATN.  For more information or to purchase tickets:

Aug 17, 202142:32
Ep 7: The Importance of Together
Aug 03, 202134:27
Ep 5: Getting Back to "Normal": A Look at Collective Grief
Jul 20, 202135:22
Ep 6: What Trauma Looks Like in the Classroom
Jul 20, 202144:29
Ep 4: Why Regulated?
Jun 22, 202143:37
Ep 3: Why Relational?
Jun 08, 202142:40
Ep 2: The Hope is in Resilience
May 25, 202127:31
Ep 1: What is Trauma?

Ep 1: What is Trauma?

In our first episode, we start at the beginning by defining "What is Trauma?"  And discussing why creating a podcast at this point in time is a good idea.  Our goal is always to inform, give insight and hopefully inspire you on your journey to becoming trauma-informed.  As Julie says in this episode, "because trauma-informed isn't something you's something you become."

Today's definitions of Trauma come from Dr. Bruce Perry ( and

1. A psychologically distressing event that is outside the range of normal human experience. Trauma often involves intense fear, terror, helplessness. - 2009

2. an experience, or pattern of experiences, that impairs the proper functioning of the person’s stress-response system, making it more reactive or sensitive. - current definition informed by SAMSHA's Concept of Trauma

SAMSHA's Concept of Trauma:  Individual trauma results from an event, series of events or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual's functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.

To learn more about the Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc.'s programs, membership and mission, visit

May 11, 202132:01
Trailer: Regulated & Relational

Trailer: Regulated & Relational

Welcome to Regulated & Relational, the new bi-monthly podcast from the Attachment & Trauma Network.  

Apr 27, 202101:50