Regulated & Relational

In this episode, Julie and Ginger discuss the concept of “Felt Safety”.   You can’t trust, heal, or learn in a state of unsafety.  This isn’t only about physical safety, but this concept also includes emotional safety.   It’s all about the state of your nervous system.  Listen in to understand what happens in a child’s brain when they are unsafe, either from a perceived or actual threat.  Ginger says, “Children need help returning to the baseline of felt safety through co-regulation.” That is the adult’s responsibility.

Safety is always first, so how does the adult bring about a feeling of safety for the child.  First, believe in the child and listen to what they are experiencing.  Next, increase predictability, structure, and routine.  Also, be careful with your tone of voice. Avoid sarcasm and avoid yelling. And remember - creating an environment of felt safety is important for all children, not just those with early childhood trauma. It is for all of us!

To order ATN’s Calm Kits, visit ATN’s store at https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/atn-store-educator/. Videos on how to use each calm kit item is included with the purchase.

If you choose to create your own “calm kit”, be sure to include tactile items such as fidgets, squishies, silly putty, silicone sponges, shaving cream, weighted blankets, mini tramps, crash pads, pillows and chair bands, just to name a few.

Today Julie and Ginger invite Jessica Sinarski into the studio. If you think her name seems familiar, then you are correct. Jessica has been here before. This is her second appearance with us!  Jessica is a therapist, speaker and change maker. She is the founder of Brave Brains and the author of the Riley the Brave series, Hello Anger and more. Her latest book, Riley the Brave’s Sensational Senses, teaches children about their senses with strategies for emotional regulation. Jessica recently began her deep dive into the world of the senses. She saw that sensory processing was difficult for kids from foster care.  In fact, she claims that almost all children with early childhood trauma have issues with sensory processing.

We are all familiar with the five senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch – but Jessica says there are three more!  Listen in to learn about those additional senses. Additionally, Jessica has great advice on how adults can help children deal with difficult sensory input.  She says, “Let’s be curious!!!! Let’s be proactive! Let’s be flexible!”

In this Episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Dr. Janyne McConnaugheyinto the studio.   Janyne has a long career in teaching, teacher education and an expertise in early childhood development. Dr. McConnaughey is a nationally known trauma-informed author, having lived with the effects of childhood sexual abuse from the time she was three years old until she entered therapy and began healing at the age of 61. Janyne joined ATN’s Board of Directors in 2019 and is now in her second year as the Board President. Her latest book is “Trauma in the Pews”.

Janyne’s mission with this book is to help ministry leaders understand what they are seeing in their congregations. What they are seeing is not a spiritual problem; What they are seeing is the impact of trauma. Janyne knows that there are a lot of books out there that look at this situation through a spiritual lens, but, as she says, “No - we must look at it through a trauma lens.”

In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz into the studio to talk about the concept of the River of Cruelty. Rebecca fought her way out of poverty and now works with communities and school across the US to solve poverty and heal trauma. She is a Co-Founder of the ESSDACK Resilience Team. What exactly is the River of Cruelty? It is a model showing how cruelty is passed from person to person and from generation to generation.  How do people get out of the River? Listen in to understand how the Resilience Team helps with that mission. The team’s motto is, “In order to create more positive outcomes for children, we must focus on transforming the adults who are important in those children’s lives.” Rebecca coined the popular Resilience phrase “I see you, I hear you, I am with you.” This is the foundation for building resilience in ALL kids, parents and school staff.

In this episode of Regulated and Relational, Julie and Ginger invite long-time ATN friend, Dr. Melissa Sadin into the studio. Simply put, Dr. Sadin is a developmental trauma expert. Along with being a published author, Dr. Sadin also works as an educational consultant providing professional development to school districts and parents. She is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and conference presenter. Melissa was a core member of the creation of ATN’s Trauma Informed-Education program, the largest gathering of Trauma-Informed Educators dedicated to building Trauma-Reformed schools. Melissa’s latest book is titled Trauma Informed Teaching and IEPs: Strategies for Building Student Resilience.

In her book, Dr. Sadin outlines her CARES framework. She discusses each area of this framework, and she provides us with direct examples of the implementation. Melissa says, “A trauma informed IEP is simply an IEP written by trauma informed people.”

In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Mr. Chazz Lewis into the studio. Mr. Chazz, a former Montessori school teacher, is an educational specialist, a keynote speaker, a parent consultant, and an influencer on social media. He is basically a dynamo, and his charisma is infectious!

Mr. Chazz discusses his concept of “See, Guide, Trust”. He acknowledges that there is no guidebook, so we need to make ourselves vulnerable and open to truly “see” the child. We then need skills to effectively “guide” them. Lastly, we need to “trust” that children are doing the best that they can.  This shift is really about trying to understand the child and we must step in with curiosity.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Emily Daniels into the studio to talk about how to create a regulated classroom. Emily is a trainer, consultant, facilitator, leader, and author. Her book, The Regulated Classroom, Bottom Up Trauma-Informed Teaching, is a framework to help educators (classroom teachers, counselors, psychologists, OTs, para professionals, etc.)  understand how to help themselves and their students regulate. She lays out four core practices that educators need to implement.

Emily says, “The adults are the beginning of all change. Emotions are contagious and the adult must be the co-regulator.” We find that hope inducing!

In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Dr. Mona Delahooke into the studio. Dr. Delahooke discusses how to raise joyful and resilient children – and isn’t that the goal of us all! She is the author of three books, Social and Emotional Development, Beyond Behaviors, and Brain-Body Parenting, which was recently released. Mona says that we must remember, “We are never just a brain - our bodies instruct our brain.” So, what does that mean? How do our bodies instruct our brain? It is all about body budgeting! Everything that happens to us is either a withdrawal or a deposit into or out of our nervous system. We need to be conscious of the body budgeting of ourselves and our children. But remember - Its very individualized. There is no one way. Just know - no one can pour from an empty cup!

In the next two episodes, Julie and Ginger deep dive into the concept of therapeutic parenting.  The healing of childhood trauma comes directly from relationships and a child’s biggest relationship is with their parents.   We must be the buffer for the child. This is how resilience is created. Ginger says, “This is all about rewiring the child’s brain.”

The number one tenet of therapeutic parenting is safety.  Safety always comes first. Listen in to learn what it means to have felt safety by all family members.

Hear what becoming a major league parent is all about! But... know that this hard work and we must give ourselves a lot of grace!

In this episode Julie and Ginger welcome Scott Kuenneke and Mary DeMichele into the studio.

Scott is an integral part of the CALO Programs Residential Treatment Facility clinical team and he oversees all Neurofeedback and QEEG brain maps for assessment and treatment. Mary developed “One Rule Improv”, a trauma-informed method of improv that creates a neurobiological change in the brain. Her method is used in classrooms, outpatient programs, foster care groups, group homes, RTCs and corporations.

The combined knowledge of these two individuals is amazing.  They have aligned the techniques and strategies of improv with what actually happens in the brain and how that can become a healing tool.

Mary says that improv is great in the classroom because, “No matter what mood the students are in when they enter the classroom, improv puts everyone in a better state.”

In this episode, Julie and Ginger discuss Secondary Traumatic Stress. This is a hard topic to talk about, but it is so important. Ginger says, “Secondary traumatic stress is a very real thing, especially for caregivers and teachers who work with children impacted by trauma.”

Secondary traumatic stress is sometimes called vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue, or even burnout. It occurs when you feel emotions from knowing about a traumatizing event that was experienced by another person. The best way to combat secondary traumatic stress is self-care. Self-care is about the nurturing of your body, mind, and spirit. Julie and Ginger outline the top ways to take care of yourself.

Listen in for some self-care strategies   Figure out what works for you and begin to practice. “Practice” is the key word there. We will not be accomplished at self-care right away. It does take practice!

Today Julie and Ginger welcome Becky Haas into the studio. Becky’s background is in working with Resource Officers in schools by training them to become trauma informed. Her training has become a model for cities nationwide. Through her position as the Director of the Crime Prevention Program in Tennessee, she saw a reduction in drug related crime by 40% in one neighborhood. That is huge!

Trauma informed approaches are often not taught to officers despite their close presence with students. Becky believes that police officers want to do a great job, they just need training on the impact of trauma. She also believes that getting representatives from the community to come together with a common focus is vital.  Becky says, “Crime prevention can’t only involve police. This is community work!”

Julie and Ginger welcome ATN friend Guy Stephens into the studio.  Guy is a lifelong Marylander, a father, a husband and a child advocate.  He began by advocating for appropriate accommodations and supports for his neurodivergent son, which led him to found the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint. He is working to change policy and practices around the use of seclusion and restraint at the local, state, and federal levels. Guy says, “The biggest thing you have to change is the culture. You have to get buy-in from superintendents, school administrators, and others.” We do have a lot of paradigm shifting to do.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger are discussing boundaries.  They got a lot of insight from Brene Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart. ATN’s Team R&R, an online community for educators, did a weekly dive into this great book. The recordings of the book study are available to Team R&R members.

Why is it so hard to set boundaries? Why is it the most hard for the givers? Why are boundaries so important? Brene says, “Boundaries are a prerequisite for compassion and empathy. You can’t connect with someone unless you are clear on where you end and where they begin.” Boundaries make us more authentic and build trust.  These are traits that are vital to us all. Listen in and learn a new way of thinking about boundary setting.

Today Julie and Ginger talk about praise and how to use it effectively in the home and in the classroom.  They also discuss some of the challenges of praise, especially with children from a history of trauma. Why do our children often reject praise? How does encouragement differ from praise?  What are some techniques you can use?  First and foremost, praise MUST be sincere and sometimes you must approach praise from a counter intuitive lens.  Our hosts share some ideas of how to do this, specifically by using drive by praising and indirect praising. Listen in for examples.

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about their latest book study, Atlas of the Heart, by Brene Brown.  ATN’s Team R&R, an online community for educators, is doing a weekly dive into this great book. One part of this book really stood out to Julie and Ginger, the chapter on Disappointment, Unmet Expectations and Regret.  They said that we all have movies running in our heads showing the outcomes we expect, however, since life doesn’t always play out as expected, that leads to disappointment.  Unexpressed expectations can lead to these disappointments.  Communication is one key to alleviate it. Ginger’s favorite quote in this chapter from Brene is, “There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed, rather than risk the feeling of disappointment.” Wow.  What a quote that is!

In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Dr. Jenna Lichter, ATN’s Trauma-Sensitive Schools Coordinator. Listen in to learn more about trauma sensitive schools - what they are and what ATN does to support their creation. Dr. Lichter says, “It’s a culture shift. The school must realize the prevalence of trauma and its impact.  There needs to be a recognition of the signs of trauma and the schools must have trauma informed reactions and a resistance to re-traumatization." 

In this episode Julie and Ginger discuss the New York Times bestselling book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. What is burnout?  How do you know when you are approaching burnout? Burnout is highly prevalent, and it needs to be talked about. They point out strategies to avoid burnout and relieve burnout. The authors, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, dedicated their book to all the givers, so if you are a giver, this podcast is for you! 

Julie and Ginger discuss why rewards and punishments don’t work for traumatized children.  What are rewards? What are punishments? What are consequences? Why don’t they work and what should we do? Alternative methods, where relationships are primary, are presented.  They explore how to look underneath the behavior instead of simply punishing the behavior.  Ginger says, “We want our children to get back up when knocked down.  We want them to believe in themselves.” It’s important that children not see failure as an endpoint, but actually, a starting point to grow

Today, Julie and Ginger explore a timely topic - how to support students and staff returning to school during this pandemic.   They are joined by Jen Alexander, a teacher, school counselor, trauma informed expert and author of Supporting Students and Staff after Covid 19.  Jen says, “It's our job to notice the need and meet the need.”  She explains how to do this in the classroom, school, family, and community.

Today Julie and Ginger talk with Stephanie Garde, ATN’s Operation Manager to discuss peer support. Parent-to-parent  support is the root of the foundation of the Attachment & Trauma Network. Stephanie explains that peer-to-peer support is so critical.  She says “Peer support becomes so life-changing that once you’ve received it and you’re no longer in crisis mode, there’s a pull to ‘pay it forward’.” Listen as Julie, Ginger, and Stephanie talk about the core competencies of good support and discuss the pitfalls that some support groups fall into.

What does it feel like as we start to get back to “normal”?  Ginger and Julie are exploring the emotional impact of the pandemic...the collective grief.  What is grief?  How do we handle change?  How do we help ourselves and others walk through these tremendous changes?

Today Julie & Ginger dig into how the impacts of trauma show up as behaviors in the classroom. While it’s not always easy to tell, we’re going to explore the ways that Fight, Flight, Freeze…and Fawn show up as behaviors and how we often misinterpret these as other things if we don’t look at the “why” under their behaviors. We’ll also explore some common learning challenges that children who have experienced significant abuse, neglect and maltreatment or have developmental delays.

In Episode 4, Ginger & Julie dig into Regulation and why being Regulated is part of the title of our podcast.  So what do we mean when we say regulated, or self-regulated?  And how is this important skill taught?  What happens if a child (you, or your children) missed this early step?  How can we teach self-regulation?

Listen in as our hosts talk about the steps of helping a child to regulate and discuss many tools that can be used to help us all find a regulated state for ourselves…and help our children through co-regulation.

In Episode 3, Ginger & Julie dig into Attachment – what it is and how it’s developed. We’ll take a look at Attachment Theory and the 5 attachment styles, as well as what attachment theorists mean when they say “good enough” parenting.

Definition to add to your vocabulary: Attunement is being able to tune in to your child’s emotional state. Allowing them to feel seen, known and understood at an emotional level. Providing nurture rather than making the child earn it. (Karen Buckwalter)

The following are additional resources about Attachment Theory:

The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver or other adult. These relationships are the active ingredients in building resilience.  A committed, stable adult buffers children from the full impact of a traumatic event...and can keep the stress from becoming toxic. -  Dr. Jack Shonkoff, Harvard's Center on the Developing Child.

What is Resilience?  How is it developed?  Aren't some children just born resilient?  How can stress be both good and toxic?  What are protective factors...and how can we become a protective factor for the people in our lives?

Ginger Healy & Julie Beem explore the topics of resilience, toxic stress, and where the hope for healing from early childhood trauma lies.

In our first episode, we start at the beginning by defining "What is Trauma?"  And discussing why creating a podcast at this point in time is a good idea.  Our goal is always to inform, give insight and hopefully inspire you on your journey to becoming trauma-informed.  As Julie says in this episode, "because trauma-informed isn't something you do...it's something you become."