Sandwich Parenting

Trigger warning: Suicide ideation mentioned briefly.

Aizah Ashraf is a US Certified Conscious Parenting & Mindset Master Coach with several years of corporate & neuroscience based coaching experience. As the Beta Mama, she has helped parents and educators gain valuable self-awareness, heal from trauma and become emotionally-safe individuals and caregivers.

Listen to Learn:

• how Aizah overcame a dark place • parenting is for parents, THEN kids • what is Khud Agahi? • on being a Muslim parenting coach • Aizah's one piece of advice •

Discussion Timecode:

00:00 - Introduction

00:58 - Aizah's origin story

02:41 - She felt alone and had thoughts of suicide

04:34 - Looking for a better connection with God

06:56 - Better parenting is for the parents first, and then the kids

07:50 - What is the concept of Khud Agahi?

15:30 - On being a Muslim parenting coach

18:00 - Why Aizah is so passionate about what she does

22:07 - Aizah's process of parenting coaching

26:54 - Aizah's one piece of advice to parents

28:31 - Goodbye

#khudagahi #betamama #emotionalsafety #iseeme #selfawareness #healing #ibelongtome #childhoodwounds #authenticself #selfhealing #mindsetcoach #itstopswithme #cyclebreaker #generationalpatterns #trauma #neuroscience #attachmentscience #brainscience #childhoodtrauma #emotionalwellbeing #feelings #permissiontofeel #emotionaltrauma #motherwound #attachmenttrauma #belonging #empathy #selfregulation #emotionalregulation #consciousparenting #mindfulparenting #peacefulparenting #yesican #consciousparent #parentcoach #empoweredparenting #holisticparenting #awakenedparent #emotions #coregulation #brainscience #breakingpatterns #mindfulness #consciousness #perspectiveshift

Angela Tam is on a quest to help people turn intergenerational trauma into intergenerational wealth-building. Sherry talks with her about her life journey, her challenging of pathologies as a Mental Health Therapist, her work helping people remove mental barriers to financial success, and her ultimate hope to change what people use as metrics of success.

Listen to learn:

• how Angela's parents fled Vietnam and built a new life • kids being a catalyst of real change in your life • the issues with modern mental health diagnosis • how personal mental health affects your professional life • angela's last piece of advice •

Discussion Timecode:

00:00 - Intro

00:49 - Angela Tam's origin story: her parents trauma bonding over the Vietnam War

03:52 - Angela Tam's origin story: growing up with parents dealing with deep trauma

10:10 - Family converting from Buddhism to evangelical Christianity

12:59 - Having kids being the catalyst for Angela's changing life journey

15:28 - Modern medicine pathologizing people over systemic oppression and trauma

17:43 - The medical DSM as systemically racist

19:38 - Angela and the Embodied Entrepreneur Program: your personal struggles = your financial struggles

21:09 - Personal is professional and professional is personal

25:49 - Angela's one piece of advice to people

27:36 - Goodbye

#parenting #angelatam #embodiedentrepreneur #reparenting #healingfromtrauma #childhoodtrauma #mentalhealth #moneymatters #wealthbuilding #financialfreedom

Stephanie Chan is the founder and owner of two companies in the senior living industry, and she has a passion around helping seniors and family caregivers. Her first company Home to Home helps seniors and families with caregiving, health care, navigation transitions and care management. And her other company, myCareBase, helps families find and hire prescreened professional caregivers and then provides tools for the family caregivers to manage that care remotely. This is a topic that isn't really top of mind... until it is (has to be) and can be extremely triggering to deal with. Stephanie gives some practical advice based on her experience with her clients.

Listen to learn:

• Stephanie's origin story • biggest challenges for caretakers of the elderly • caretaker self-care • tips for caregivers • elder care modelling for your own kids • Stephanie's last piece of advice •

Discussion timecode:

00:00 - Intro

01:00 - Stephanie Chan's origin story

03:36 - Stephanie relates the biggest challenges faced by caretakers of aging parents

06:23 - Caretaker self-care: take care of yourself as you care for others

08:46 - Don't be scared to reach out for help

11:03 - Navigating the reality of role reversal in caring for your parents

12:28 - Stephanie's tips for caregivers

14:08 - Remember that your own kids are watching as you care for your parents

17:42 - Advice when kids live far from their parents

20:00 - Respect and help the sibling(s) local to your parents

21:47 - Stephanie's one last piece of advice

22:22 - Goodbye

Stephanie's company links:

https://www.home-to-home.ca

https://www.mycarebase.com

#eldercare #homecare  #seniorcare   #careplanning  #advancecareplanning  #familycaregivers

This episode features Candice Colgan, aka the Hurt Recovery Coach. She has moved from assault survivor to criminal lawyer to political activism to becoming a trauma recovery coach. She also has navigated the tricky world of moving to different cultures and dealing with a multi-cultural family! All that, and publishing the best-selling book Creating Impact.

Highlights to watch for:

0:00 - Intro

3:19 - The Candice Colgan origin story

7:32 - Deciding to work in trauma recovery

10:17 - Having hope while recovering from trauma

11:12 - Candice's amazing journey: from the Philippines to Australia to England

15:07 - The uniqueness of multicultural kids

16:23 - Candice's upbringing and how she is raising her kids

21:03 - The perils of always being obedient and compliant

25:05 - Stephen Porges and the Polyvagal Theory

28:39 - Candice has another definition of Sandwich Parenting

30:34 - Cultural differences example: co-sleeping with children

34:07 - Candice's one piece of advice for parents

34:57 - Goodbye

#intergenerationaltrauma #assaulttrauma #survivingtrauma #traumarecovery #multiculturalism #polyvagaltheory

In this episode of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter has a conversation with good friend and fellow trauma recovery coach Achara Tarfa.

Achara is a survivor of child sexual abuse, narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, high conflict divorce, co-parenting with a narcissist, and nonparent expected (NPE). She believes in fierce self-compassion and has dedicated her life to the healing of trauma. Achara is also a Supervisor with the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching.

Connect with Achara at:
https://acharatarfa.com/
https://www.instagram.com/acharatarfa/ 

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1. Learn about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and PATH
2. Using IFS in healing
3. Advice to parents

TUNE IN TO HEAR:
● 00:18 Guest introduction
● 02:30 Origin story
● 18:57 Becoming a trauma recovery coach
● 21:52 PATH and IFS
● 34:19 Healing process with IFS
● 40:11 One piece of advice to other parents
● 43:47 Thank You

#healingparentsapproach #reparenting #spanishspeakingparentingcoach #childabuseawareness #childhoodtrauma #domesticviolence #narcissisticabuse #miscarriage #divorcerecovery #selfcare #trauma #mentalhealth

In this episode of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter has a conversation with Anna Yen. Anna is a money coach that runs FamilyFI, a personal finance community dedicated to empowering families to develop a positive money mindset. She also runs a Chinese learning podcast with her daughter!

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. Find out why Anna is so good with money.
2. The difference between how she was parented and how she chooses to parent
3. Supporting the next generation and themes often seen in other parents
4. Anna’s one piece of advice to parents

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

● 00:18 Guest introduction

● 00:55 Origin story

● 09:50 The way Anna chooses to parent

● 16:22 Money and finances themes

● 18:13 Prioritizing yourself too

● 20:42 Money tied to goals, values, and emotions

● 27:51 Teaching Chinese podcast with daughter

● 37:21 One piece of advice to other parents

● 40:13 Thank You

#annayen #money #moneymatters #FamilyFI #finance #wealth #success #personalfinance #financialfreedom #chinese #chineseculture

Kelly Wilson is a certified trauma recovery coach, and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who has channeled her experiences in trauma recover via the comedy modality. Not the usual way, but an effective and accessible way.

A former elementary school teacher, Kelly was beloved for her deadpan sarcasm, which led her to pursue standup comedy, quit her job, and navigate a three year long identity crisis.

Kelly started the PTSD Parent podcast for parents dealing with trauma, and currently offers trauma remediation to lessen triggers, grief recovery, and healing through humor as part of her work in trauma recovery coaching on MapYourHealing.com

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. How Kelly used comedy to cope
2. Teaching and being a comedian
3. Kelly and the PTSD Parent Podcast
4. Advice from Kelly

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

● 0:25: Guest introduction

● 1:08: Origin Story

● 3:38: Identity Crisis at 40

● 6:00: Combining mental health speaking and comedy

● 8:22: Humor as a survival mechanism

● 11:28: PTSD Parent Podcast

● 14:03: One piece of advice for parents dealing with trauma

● 19:54: Kelly’s work and getting in touch

● 22:07: Grief recovery

● 26:31: Thank you

#healinglaughter #humour #PTSDparenting #sexualabuse #teaching #triggers #relationships #couples #healingfromcomplextrauma

Gabriela Blanco is a conscious parenting coach who helps parents embody their truest capacity for caregiving through all of life’s ups and downs. She believes in leaving shame behind for not only children, but parents as well.

Her journey to parenting was inspired by her older sisters - from nannying to business development to working at a preschool, what she deeply enjoys is the small moments of watching parents interact with their children.

Gabriela currently hosts a three-month course where parents are invited to show up just as they are, no homework or scripts required, to build a caring and compassionate parenting community.

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

0:25: Guest introduction

1:08: Gabriela's Origin Story

6:48: The Healing Parents Course

7:04: We Don’t Need Scripts

14:41: Integral Role of a Parenting Community

25:20: No Homework

28:31: One piece of advice to parents who have trauma of their own

31:06: Thank you

#gabrielablanco #consciousparenting #healingparentsapproach #reparenting #spanishspeakingparentingcoach

Bobbi Parish is the Founder and Executive Director of the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching.  Bobbi started the association in 2017 to support a global need to heal from trauma. In transparency, I am certified as a Trauma Recovery Coach through the Association, having completed the Initial and Advanced certificates. 

A survivor of childhood abuse herself, Bobbi used her graduate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy to work with other trauma  survivors. She switched from therapy to coaching in 2014, finding the freedom to tell her clients that she loved them just as they are. 

After experiencing how powerfully coaching helped survivors of trauma heal, Bobbi decided to help others become Trauma Recovery Coaches. As one person she could help a limited number of survivors heal, but teaching other coaches and sending them into the world provides thousands of survivors with high quality, easily accessible help.

(Trigger Warning: In recounting her origin story, Bobbi shares her story of trauma and survival.)

Why is this such an important message to get out to the world? Because there is hope for trauma survivors.

She's created a program that welcomes you home, to a safe place, to be loved, seen, heard, understood and cared for. She is building an team of Trauma Recovery Coaches who have lived experience who want to support and help other trauma survivors. "I'm here with you. How do we get out together?"

A must listen.  Learn with us. Heal with us.

Come join the global movement of trauma recovery!

In this very special edition of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter has a conversation with

Bobbi Parish. Bobbi is our Executive Director of the International Association of Trauma

Recovery Coaching. She specializes in working with survivors of childhood trauma. As a

survivor of childhood trauma herself, Bobbi brings a great deal of compassion and

understanding to her work with clients.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. American therapy model is evolving

2. The 4 lies trauma teaches

3. New association developments

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

● 00:23 Guest introduction

● 00:32 The origin story of the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching

● 05:15 New research on depression

● 06:10 The therapist that loved me

● 14:59 Transitioning into trauma recovery coaching

● 17:09 Starting a program to teach others

● 23:23 How the American model is evolving

● 30:01 What aspiring coaching professionals need before starting their healing journey

● 35:51 What aspiring coaching professionals need before starting their coaching journey

● 39:05 4 essential lies that trauma teaches

● 40:20 What would Bobbi now tell herself 10 years ago

● 42:37 New association developments

● 53:08 One piece of advice to parents

● 54:52 Thank You

https://certifiedtraumarecoverycoaching.com/

#iaotrc #healingfromtrauma #bobbiparish #traumarecovery #traumarecoverycoaching #trauma #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth

Pooja Shahani, founder of Kintsugi Consulting and co-found of Metamorphosis, is a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Strategist. She has experience working with multinational organizations and non-profit across the globe, including in India, Hong Kong, and the US. Pooja has had a number of careers, including being a journalist, a development practitioner and a corporate leader. She believes in the power of courageous questioning and co-creating more sustainable and equitable ecosystems. 

Prior to launching Kintsugi, she led Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) for Goldman Sachs India and was the Country Manager for Community Business in India, a D&I consulting practice headquartered in Hong Kong. Pooja has co-authored a publication called “D&I: Building the Business Case – Stories from India” and has received the Global Diversity Leadership award by the World HRD Congress for her contribution in the diversity space in 2015 and 2016. Pooja graduated from Middlebury College, USA with a degree in English and has completed the Stanford Graduate Business School Ignite Program on Innovation and Entrepreneurship. She is a certified executive coach leveraging a unique approach of brain-based methodologies and expressive arts. 

We talk about her unusual origin story, a generational story of migration that not many in the world know about.  She shares her amazing story and his she makes the world a better place through her DEI work.

00:00 Intro

01:01 Pooja’s Origin Story - Life as a ‘Sindhi’ displaced citizen of Pakistan, going to school in Hong Kong, and internalizing discrimination and racism

03:49 The language of her father - Cantonese through a thick Indian accent

14:06 - Having to work to constantly prove your worth as an immigrant, and how this belief might actually help, and hinder

17:32 - Pooja was unable to tell the stories she wanted to tell, how she wanted tell them, under today’s version of “journalism”

20:42 - Pooja’s move into equity, inclusion and diversity work

23:47 - The Changemakers program, helping the helpers

27:42 -  The big missing piece of the diversity movement is equity

29:23 - Dealing with diversity practitioner burn-out

31:16 - A story about balancing the needs of diversity employees and the resources available to create the infrastructure they need to work

38:41 - A constant series of tiny changes can add up to big differences over time

45:18 - Pooja’s advice to parents from a diversity lens: self-awareness

#EDI #DEI #equity #globalcitizen #poojashahani #kintsugiconsulting #metamorphosis #diversity #inclusion #coaching

In this episode of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter has a conversation with a special guest, Jennifer Kindera, an instructor supervisor at The International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching. She is a mentor for many coaches that have come through the program after her. She's an expert in trauma recovery, but she's also an in-depth scholar in the area of shame and teaches continuing education courses. She really takes the shame and helps us see how this is impacting us on a day to day. She gets into the healing from trauma through an understanding and through healing from shame.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. 👉Difference between victim and survivor
   👉 What is healthy shame and toxic pervasive
   👉Importance of hard-wired in and soft-wired in
   👉Coaching versus therapy

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

• 00:18 Guest introduction
• 01:20 Origin story
• 03:53 Started therapy
• 06:56 Helping others with their journey
• 07:15 Difference between victim and survivor
• 09:09 Becoming a Trauma Recovery Coach
• 11:16 Why the focus on shame?
• 15:38 Healthy shame different from toxic pervasive
• 18:29 Importance of hard-wired in and soft-wired in
• 20:35 Defining shame
• 22:39 Unable to trust ourselves
• 26:29 When we first met (Jennifer & Sherry)
• 29:20 Navigating through toxic pervasive into healthy shame & self-compassion
• 32:06 Coaching versus therapy
• 39:15 One piece of advice to parents
• 43:44 Thank You

#jenniferkindera #traumarecoverycoaching #iaotrc #trauma #shame #traumasurvivor #healingfromshame #healthyshame #selfcompassion

In this episode of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter has a conversation with a special guest, Mary Kerwin from Confident Families, a mother of four and a teacher turned coach with more than 45 years in education. She's on a mission to help mom home business owners balance running a business while raising a family. Listeners will walk away from this conversation having learned simple strategies to meet their maximum potential, bring balance into their homes, to raise happier, healthier kids.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. Supporting busy mompreneurs
2. Finding balance as a working parent
3. The principles of building confidence
4. The support group Encourage Greatness

TUNE IN TO HEAR:

● 00:14 Guest introduction

● 01:25 Origin story

● 03:19 School closing & retiring

● 04:43 Starting Confident Kids

● 05:17 COVID happened

● 06:20 Confident Families opened

● 07:00 From only working with kids to now working with the parents

● 08:09 Helping busy mompreneurs find confidence and balance

● 08:35 Seeing balance as a pizza

● 10:10 Juggling act example

● 11:59 We are the architects of our families

● 13:50 The ABC’s The Principles of Building Confidence

● 14:07 A- Acceptance

● 14:16 B- Build Resilience

● 14:42 C- Connect to your Core Values

● 15:34 D- Dream Big

● 16:05 What is the 1%

● 17:25 Our journey, take baby steps

● 18:20 Encourage Greatness Group for parents

● 20:25 One piece of advice to parents from Mary Kerwin

● 21:02 Practice your Navy Seal

● 22:10 Mantra

● 22:37 Thank You

#teacherturnedcoach #parentcoach #marykerwin #supportingbusymompreneurs #encouragegreatness #confidentfamilies #confidencecoachingforkids  

IG: @marykerwin

In this episode of Sandwich Parenting, Sherry Yuan Hunter introduces a very special guest, Pepper Joy Greggs, who is a fellow IAOTRC trauma recovery coach and author of RReST: Restorative Response System Theory.  She asks us to ask ourselves what if trauma responses were not seen in a negative light or as a broken function of the brain. She invites us to think that just as we have genetic code to survive trauma, we also possess the code for restoration and thriving. HIGHLIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE: What is RReST Theory? Learn the restorative responses Difference between the mental health field & trauma recovery coaching Advice to parents trying to break intergenerational trauma TUNE IN TO HEAR: 00:00 Guest introduction 01:13 What is Rest Theory? 01:59 The Restorative Responses | Rhythm, Rise, Resolve, & Reframe 04:02 How did you know that RReST: Restorative Response System Theory needed to be written and the course taught? 08:30 What is being taught and practiced in the mental health field versus learning from the perspective of trauma recovery coaching. 11:37 Her healing journey 13:29 Ancient medicine and looking outside of Western medicine and big pharma 16:10 “In RReST, you recognize that your last $20 is not the end of the world” 17:07 Short version of the model: somatics and the soul 18:04 Rhythm response 20:10 Flight its Rise 22:31 Freeze is Resolve 23:56 Hyperfreeze & Hypofreeze 24:59 Fawn is about the Reframe 26:34 The 3Cs - Compassion, Courage, & Curiosity 27:44 Ancestors and Encanto 28:21 Advice “Talk about Bruno” 30:54 Thank you #pepperjoygreggs #traumarecovery #traumarecoverycoaching #iaotrc #RReST #healingfromtrauma

Having been groomed to be a doctor by two physician parents, Toni Liu did in fact become a physician and gynaecologist... until she made a big pivot in her life to work with clients on a more personal level. Now she coaches people and creates programs to help clients learn to love themselves and their sexuality, and avoid the devastating traps of self-loathing. 

#selflove #selfcare #sextalk #sexcoach #womensadvocate #sexualliberation #sexeducation #selflovecoach

Show Notes:

00:00 - Intro

00:26 - Toni’s origin story

04:26 - Truly helping people instead of just doctoring them

06:44 - Toni’s work empowering women of colour to explore their sexuality

08:24 - The journey Toni’s clients take on their road to sexual self-discovery

09:53 - Taking the onus off women for being sexually abused

12:31 - Determining the sources of low self-esteem and self-worth

14:36 - Giving Asian girls an outlet for discussion sexuality

15:25 - What people can learn from the programs that Toni creates

19:15 - How the work ethic is more valued over personal self-care

20:11 - Toni’s advice to parents about discussing sexuality with their children

24:05 - Discomfort is good

Moving from a clinical perspective as a therapist, to the more personal environment of trauma coaching, Dr. Jai has dealt with parents, families and helping women of colour work through their culturally specific traumas. Join me as I discuss these challenges and more with the amazing Jai Belton.

Show Notes:

01:22 - Dr. Jai Belton's origin story.

05:26 - The clinical approach to psychotherapy vs. trauma recovery.

07:14 - What does a trauma recovery coach do?

10:17 - Taking the client present, forward.

11:28 - Working with family trauma.

12:58 - Dr. Jai's work as an inclusion and diversity manager in trauma recovery.

14:24 - Culturally-based mental health issues and trigger responses.

18:43 - Trauma recovery for African-American women.

20:21 - Changing the face of trauma.

23:29 - Not erasing trauma, but navigating it.

23:59 - Working with adolescence trauma.

26:52 - Trauma work for specifically African-American females, continued.

31:36 - Dr. Jai's one piece of advice for parents.... or maybe two.

#jaibelton #jaiknows #jaispeaks #SherryYuanHunter #IAOTRC #sandwichparenting #parenting #traumacoaching #trauma #motherhood #copingskills #traumarecovery #culturaltrauma #familytrauma #racialtrauma #diversity #multicultural #healing #education #disenfranchisement #reconnectwithyourself

Seibo Shen went to law school (and dropped out after two weeks), ran the race of Silicon Valley startups while running up his bank account balance, and served as a CEO in the cannabis space. Driven to accomplish so much from the strict and demanding upbringing instilled in him by his father, Seibo decided to reset his life and follow the loving and nurturing lessons of his mother. He now working as a transformational coach, helping professionals avoid the burn-out that he experienced. Please have a listen as we discuss Seibo's journey to self-discovery. 

Show Notes: 

00:39 - Seibo featured in the Asian Hustle Network book Uplifted, helping Asian entrepreneurs achieve success. 

02:27 - Seibo's origin story of dropping out of law school, finding career success creating software in Silicon Valley, and eventually moving into the cannabis space. 

04:47 - The law of diminishing returns of fulfilment in continued monetary success. 

08:51 - About this relentless drive to success: the amazing gift of Seibo's father. 

12:17 - Learning by doing things: The difference between reading a map and walking the terrain. 

13:35 - As a CEO, concerning yourself more about your team's success than your own advancement. 

15:29 - Seibo as a coach: success stories. 

17:59 - The parenting style of Seibo's mother and father. 

20:20 - What Seibo kept from his own upbringing when parenting his children, and what he changed. 

24:15 - Being able to self-express and show vulnerability as a parent. 

26:57 - Showing your true, authentic self instead of trying to be the smartest person in the room. 

27:56 - Using curiosity and understanding to heal the divisiveness in the world. 

30:14 - Understanding the roots of racial prejudice. 33:18 - Making the best decisions with the information you have at the time. 

35:55 - Seibo's one piece of advice to sandwich parents. 

#seiboshen #seiboknows #seibospeaks #SherryYuanHunter #asianhustlenetwork #sandwichparenting #parenting #startuplife #fatherhood #motherhood #ceo #transformationalcoach #selfdiscovery #cannabis #professionaldevelopment #AsianMentalHealth

In my discussion with radio and podcast host Sen Zhan, we talk about the immigrant experience, consider a path for coming to terms with trauma, look at methods of acclimatizing to new surroundings, and so much more. I hope you'll listen to this episode and learn as much from Sen as I did talking about her fascinating story. Here are the highlights of our talk:

00:29 - Sen Zhan’s origin story

05:26 - Culture shock as a little kid arriving in Canada, straight from China

06:05 - Western kids are like wild animals compared to Chinese kids

07:46 - Acclimatizing to life in Calgary

09:16 - Overcoming a language barrier within your own community

10:47 - Rejected everything Chinese for a safer path

11:52 - Immersion in western youth fiction reading gives Sen a sense of self-discovery and independence

12:47 - Balancing the priorities of two different cultures

14:00 - A lesson at western school: What is your favourite colour?

16:38 - A struggle for survival as an immigrant family

18:09 - It’s not so much about forgiveness as it is about understanding

20:49 - Processing trauma

22:07 - Talk about Sen’s Beyond Asian podcast

25:20 - Neutral Asian Avoidance

29:49 - Discussing the Asian experience without delving into identity politics

33:29 - Thinking that your Chinese heritage is something to overcome, rather than embrace

35:32 - Standing out more as an Asian in Europe, than in North America

36:44 - Being from somewhere else is itself a super-power

38:02 - Just surviving is a great immigrant success story

40:29 - The story of Sen’s grandmother’s survival

42:59 - Sen’s advice to parents, as a sandwich kid

To visit Sen's podcast, Beyond Asian, please follow this link: https://beyondasian.com/

#immigration #immigrants #heritage

#chinese #survivor #healing

Dave Walker lived a life that might be familiar to anyone trapped in the rat race, making good money and surrounding himself with "stuff", but fundamentally unhappy with his work, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and disturbed by the person staring back at him in the mirror. What might not be so familiar is Dave's trajectory out of this spiral: re-examining his upbringing, leaving his work situation and starting a new company, investing more time with his children, and re-inventing himself... all in the shadow of a harrowing car accident.  Please join me as we journey with Dave through his transformation, and discover the different legs of the metaphorical stool that supports him. 

Here is a breakdown of our discussion: 

01:03 - Dave's origin story, where he talks about his way out of clinical depression and alcoholism. 

03:36 - His Six-Legged Stool model for life. 

04:51 - Our children are the catalyst for change. 

07:02 - Knowing your love languages. 

08:03 - Little changes adding up to big improvements. 

08:37 - The different parenting styles between Dave's Mom and Dad. 

09:32 - Not liking the face looking back in the mirror. 

10:20 - Reparenting yourself when your parents haven't given you the tools to cope with life. 

11:57 - A Harvard degree in suppressing your feelings. 

12:53 - Dave reconnecting with his Mom. 

14:20 - Being in touch with your feelings is not being emasculated. 

16:56 - The Universe speaks: Dave gets into a terrible car wreck. 

17:45 - Dave's Mom continues to plant seeds, even after her passing. 

18:46 - Giving your kids the gift of knowing you trust them to be okay. 

19:45 - As opposed to parenting from fear. 

22:35 - Giving your kids "The Talk" when you never got one. 

23:04 - Guys don't cry. 24:16 - Using movies as crying therapy. 

26:03 - enJOY life. 

27:00 - Savour your relationships. 

28:50 - Using alcohol as a coping mechanism. 

30:33 - We're only human. We're bound to make mistakes. 

31:20 - Trust in yourself. 

32:05 - Passing the values you learned from a parent to your own kids. 

32:58 - People are gonna “should” all over you. 

33:55 - Courage isn't not being afraid. Courage is being afraid and still going forward. 

34:48 - From Captain Comfort Zone to Captain Courageous. 36:02 - Why we fear the things we fear. 

37:14 - Big thinker vs. big feeler. 

40:23 - Judging your father when the blinders come off. 

42:17 - Saying "I love you" to an emotionally stunted father. 

44:04 - Dave downsizing, but he'd rather connect with people than with stuff. 

45:00 - Working hard and being paid well is a powerful and addictive drug. 

46:38 - “Feeling Dave” is keeping an eye on the life compass. 

49:12 - Dave's final advice to parents: Trust your kids and learn their love languages.

#MondaysDontHavetoSuck #DaveWalker #SherryYuanHunter #sandwichparenting  #parentlife #motherhood #fatherhood #cptsd #recovery #selfcare

Kulbinder Saran Caldwell's background in advocacy for diversity drives every project she is involved with.  When race, gender or sexual orientation are the basis of any barrier, she will knock it down.  As Founder & CEO of Reallife Pictures, Kulbinder is passionate about opening doors for diverse and emerging writers that had been closed by complacent decision-makers in the screen industry over many decades. Right by her side is partner husband Scott Caldwell who has worked in the news media for nearly 30 years, behind the mic and behind the scenes.  He spent a decade as a radio news reporter and anchor before becoming a television news producer in Canada’s largest media market.  He's evolved into a podcast producer & co-host of Gen-I (Generation Immigrant, that is, anyone who was born to immigrant parents.) Parents to adopted Sihk daughter and mixed-race son, they are reflective of the global community we live in and navigate. They take their experience to the next level by coaching others both on a personal level as well as in organizations that can make broader impactful change in the daily lives of their stakeholders.

One of my few interviews with people in the same time zone, let alone in the same city!  

#kulbindersarancaldwell #scottcadwell #gen-i #generationimmigrant #sandwichparenting

Kimberly Weeks is a Trauma Recovery Coach specializing in working with people recovering from abused by narcissists. Her choice of specialization comes from a very personal place. Not only is she doing this work for own healing journey and for her clients through theirs, Kimberly is also a Supervisor for the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching. That is to say, she's so passionate about this work that she is helping other coaches too.

Confident, authentic, compassionate, passionate, and energetic, she is a single mother of four boys, who also deals with a chronic health issue (autoimmune disease) that will never be able to stop her from achieving her goals. It may remind her when she needs to rest and recover, but she will never be defined by her illness. In our conversation, she explores the expectations on her and the successful achievements (SO MANY) from her life as the child of (SUPER) high achieving parents, the outward public view versus the internal family reality, and why she chooses to parent differently than how she was parented. 

She is such an incredible example of a Sandwich Parent. Please join me in hearing her story and learning how she recovered, which then lead to her work as a coach helping others recover from childhood trauma.

#KimberlyWeeks #narcissisticabusecoach #narcissism #traumarecoverycoach #traumarecovery #sandwichparenting #sherryuanhunter

Raw and real, Tou Ger Lee shares the story about his Hmong parents' journey from the dangerous jungles of Laos to their new sponsored life in Wisconsin. A transformational coach who works with high achievers, Tou Ger knows what it is like to be successful and not actually feel anything. Drawing on his experience rejecting and then embracing his culture and heritage, Tou Ger embodies how to live your full authentic life doing what you are meant to do. A true Sandwich Kid, I love his wise advice to Sandwich Parents and and Kids.

#sandwichparenting #sandwichkid #tougerlee

Raj Tawney is an American essayist and journalist based in New York. Raised in a multiracial household by an Indian father and an Italian/Puerto Rican American mother, his exposure to race, culture, and class has uniquely impacted his viewpoint. He has contributed essays to New York Magazine, The Boston Globe, O, the Oprah Magazine, Variety, LA Weekly, F(r)iction, Broad Street Review, Entropy Magazine, L.A. TACO and others. He’s hosted on TV for Zee North America, Namaste America and Public Television; and live events for Gold Coast International Film Festival, North Fork TV Festival, The Mudra Foundation and at numerous universities and cinemas. Currently working on a memoir about multiracial/multiethnic Americans, Raj is a proud husband, and father of two rescue parrots and one rescue puppy.

#sherryyuanhunter #sandwichparenting #sandwichkid #rajtawney

Tim Brantingham comes from a long line of Ohio missionaries living in Asia (5th generation to be exact). He was born in Taiwan, returned to the US for college, lived in various cities in Asia as an expat, married an American-Japanese wife, is the father of 3 kids, and recently relocated from Hong Kong to Japan. He’s not only a Sandwich Kid where his parents made decisions that greatly differed from what was expected of them, he is also a Third Culture Kid and a Sandwich Parent himself. Join us as we discuss how all this impacts his life and how he parents his children.

#sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #thirdculturekid #sandwichkid #expatlife #timbrantingham #livinginAsia #greatdad

Eli and Jen are a husband and wife coaching team with two teen children.  They decided shortly after their first child was born they were going to parent differently than their parents did. They are professional coaches with years of training, certified by the World Coaching Institute as Child, Youth, Parent and Family Coaches. They work with parents who are dealing with toxic /dysfunctional / abusive parents trying to heal their childhood trauma to ensure they are not continuing the cycle with their own children.

#sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #respectcc #jenandeli #familycoaching #childhoodtrauma #breakthecycle

After deciding that her Super Mom/Tiger Mom approach was not going to work (not too long after the birth of her son!), Lina Lie did her research and now is a parenting coach, focused on Peaceful Parenting. She shares her journey and how a peaceful parenting approach not only helped her be the kind of parent she wants to be, but it has also improved her marriage. Listen to our chat and find out how parent coaching can be the supportive, non-judgmental support you need.

#sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #linalie #theheartfulmamacoach