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Securing Sexuality

Securing Sexuality

By Securing Sexuality

Do you know how to protect your pursuit of pleasure? Technology upended how we connect romantically and sexually. But broken apps, hacked toys, confusing privacy settings, and breaches are anything but sexy.

This podcast is here to help with tips for safer sex in a digital age.

Offering insights into intriguing and often taboo subjects are our hosts, Stefani Goerlich and Wolfgang Goerlich. They’re joined by experts on cybersecurity, cybersexuality, sextech, mental health, and more. Listen in.
Currently playing episode

54. Strange New Worlds: The Science of Space Sexology

Securing SexualityOct 01, 2023

54. Strange New Worlds: The Science of Space Sexology

54. Strange New Worlds: The Science of Space Sexology

If you've ever wondered what the coolest job EVER was, Simon Dubé has it. Simon is a post-doctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, where he specializes in erobotics, sextech and space sexology. YES.... he is a space sex scientist! And he is here to tell us all about his work in erobotics, the International Congress on Love, Sex and Robots, and why the future of space exploration might be more female than most sci-fi movies have led us to believe. This interview is can't-miss for anyone who ever watched the opening sequence of Barbarella and thought to themselves "that's what I want to be when I grow up."

Oct 01, 202349:45
53. We're Breaking Up

53. We're Breaking Up

Breakups are never easy. It never fails to surprise us how quickly love can turn to anger and hurt. Knowing that our now-ex has a record of the good times, the sexy times, can make a breakup feel even more stressful and disorienting. This week, Wolf and Stef are here to talk about how to navigate the tech side of a breakup- what to do with all of those saved flirtations and deeply personal pics you have saved once the person you shared them with is no longer around. We discuss the ethics of living like Lasso, explore what our options are when the one we used to love isn't quite as invested in protecting our privacy anymore, and offer some best practices for broken hearts.. and breached passwords.

Sep 24, 202332:40
52. Way Cooler Than We Are - Rachel Lark

52. Way Cooler Than We Are - Rachel Lark

Sex-positive Punk-Folk musician Rachel Lark, creator of the rock comedy musical "Coming Soon" which explores themes of connection and healing from trauma, visits Securing Sexuality this week! Her hits include “⁠Polyamory Blues⁠,” “⁠Shut Up & Hit Me⁠,” "⁠Warm, Bloody, And Tender⁠,” “⁠It’s Hard To Be A Feminist⁠," and she's here to tell Wolf and Stef all about her journey into music, her thoughts on internet fame, her upcoming tour, and how bawdy music-making can change a life and rock the house.

Join the community of people supporting Rachel's radical work by making a pledge on Patreon []

Sep 17, 202349:47
51. Doesn't Exist: DMCA Basics for Everyone

51. Doesn't Exist: DMCA Basics for Everyone

What do you do when your photo pops up somewhere you DON'T want to be? Do you have any options? Heck... do you even own your image? Inspired by a recent call from a concerned therapist, this week Wolf tells Stefani all about the Digital Millennium Copyright Act- how it can protect you when unwanted images, recordings, and other content is shared online and where it's usefulness is limited. What does ANY of this have to do with baby hippos? Tune in this week to find out.

Sep 10, 202337:24
50. Screw You, Pay Me.

50. Screw You, Pay Me.

Shakun Sethi had a vision: she wanted to create a user-friendly, approachable s3x education platform that would let people get answers to the questions they were too embarrassed to ask anywhere else. She wanted to teach, to empower, to amuse. So when her site, Tickle.Life was deplatformed by her payment processors? She approached the situation like any passionate teacher would: she immersed herself in the world of credit card processing and online banking regulations in order to become an expert in working a system that was created to keep some people out- out of business and out of money. That's how Tickle.Pay was born. Tune in this week to learn about banking bias, the complicated world of "high risk" payment processing, and how one amazing woman is breaking down barriers not only for herself, but for everyone doing s3x and intimacy related work.

Sep 03, 202356:33
49. The Authenticity Patch

49. The Authenticity Patch

This August, Stefani was invited to speak at SquadCon- one of the many community events that happen in Las Vegas at Hacker Summer Camp. Join us as Wolf offers color commentary on her presentation, hear her thoughts on why developers need to be designing with mental health in mind, and learn why Stef STILL f*cking hates the Elf on the Shelf. Much like Summer Camp itself, this is not to be missed.

Aug 27, 202343:50
48. More Than Just Fans

48. More Than Just Fans

We all know someone who logs on to Only Fans these days, either as a content creator or as a consumer. But what many of us don't realize is that the nature of the site has changed dramatically. In this episode, we are joined by Christine Leistner, a relationship scientist and public health scholar at California State University- Chico, who tells Stef and Wolf all about the ways in which Only Fans has become a go-to resource for education about intimacy and relationships. Sure, OF will still let its users scratch that voyeuristic itch that the site is most well known for... but it might also help them become better lovers, better partners, and better human beings along the way.

Aug 20, 202342:02
47. The Cross-Over Episode

47. The Cross-Over Episode

Tune in for our first ever cross-over episode and listen in as our intrepid hosts join Rachel Arnold and Will McCullen for an episode of The Coffee Table Talk cybersecurity podcast. Join us for a heavily caffeinated conversation between three cybersecurity experts (and Stefani) as they explain why technologists need to be paying attention to the way people form and foster their relationships online and off.

Aug 13, 202301:10:07
46. The Pleasure Curator: Wolf and Stef Get Steamy with Melissa Saavedra
Aug 06, 202341:03
45. The Inevitable Barbie Episode
Jul 30, 202333:58
44. The Windows to the Soul: The Science of Human-Robot Interactions
Jul 23, 202343:56
43. Stefani Goes to the Cyber Brothel
Jul 16, 202344:20
42. The Internet of Dongs Project
Jul 09, 202342:38
41. What To Do When It's Scary To Do Your Job
Jul 02, 202341:35
40. Teaching Kids How To Unhush
Jun 25, 202340:50
39. The Stonewall Generation, an Interview with Jane Fleishman
Jun 18, 202343:44
38. Intimacy Justice (A Meta Conversation) with Jackie Rotman
Jun 11, 202346:37
37. Good Flirting, Bad Therapy, and ChatGPT
Jun 04, 202336:24
36. Making Love for $17 Million Dollars, A Conversation with Cindy Gallop
May 21, 202354:14
35. Sexy Spring Break! What Wolf & Stef Learned In Europe
May 14, 202351:26
34. Making An Offer Your Roomba Can't Refuse
May 07, 202347:06
33. Privacy in a Post-Roe America, Part 3
Apr 30, 202332:59
32. Street Smarts for the Information Superhighway
Apr 23, 202341:38
31. How To Date A Serial Killer- Pepper Spray, Safety Checks, and Our First Date
Apr 16, 202327:20
30. Balancing Privacy & Protection: A Chat with Dr. Caleb Jacobson
Apr 09, 202337:13
29. The Ask Us Anything Episode
Apr 02, 202356:27
28. Defining Digital Health
Mar 26, 202348:45
27. NOPE-lahoma: What's Happening in the Sooner State is Not OK
Mar 19, 202331:04
26. The Gatekeepers: Net Neutrality and The Fight Over Who Decides What You See Online
Mar 12, 202348:03
25. Facebook, Flat Earth, and Fascism: What Wolf Wishes the Supreme Court Knew about Section 230
Mar 05, 202335:20
24. Use Me, Guide Me: Where Desire Meets Design
Feb 26, 202339:22
23. My What A Big, Sexy Brain You Have
Feb 19, 202334:02
22. The Buddy System: App-Based Support Groups with Chandler Rogers
Feb 12, 202338:08
21. Bye-Bye Books! Unpacking the Shame to Censorship Pipeline
Feb 05, 202332:15
20. The World Is Watching, an Interview with Albert Fox Cahn
Jan 29, 202344:16
19. Deviancy Dropout: What Stefani Learned by Dropping Out of School
Jan 22, 202340:27
18. Return Your Vibrator: Rowenna Fielding and Sex Toy Privacy
Jan 15, 202348:43
17. Crocs Are Not Sexy: Wolf & Stef go to the AVN Expo
Jan 08, 202335:10
16. Digital Community & Sex Worker Solidarity
Nov 27, 202244:32
15. Balls, Shaft, and Flippers
Nov 21, 202236:31
14. Putting the V in Voice with Aimee Cloutier
Nov 14, 202242:41
13. No WHUT, November?!?!

13. No WHUT, November?!?!

It's November once again! That annual time when we think about Puritans, working up an appetite, and... abstinence? No Nut November might have gotten its modern start on social media, but the philosophical and (pseudo)scientific origins date back centuries. Join Wolf and Stef as they discuss the history, the science, the risks, and the potential benefits of choosing not to baste the turkey for a full 30 days. 

Nov 06, 202228:34
12. On Safety & Strumpetry- A Conversation with Luna Lapine

12. On Safety & Strumpetry- A Conversation with Luna Lapine

Wolf and Stef are joined by Luna Lapine, erotic content creator and owner of Moon Rabbit Studios to talk about her safety awareness practices as a self-described "professional strumpet." Luna describes her first-hand experiences with risk mitigation as an adult artist and shares her love of Victorian cabinet cards featuring strumpets of yore.

Oct 30, 202243:11
11. Love On The Line- How Going Wireless Changed Our Relationships

11. Love On The Line- How Going Wireless Changed Our Relationships

From telegraph to teledildonics, people have leveraged technology to cultivate pleasure and intimacy for themselves and their partners. This week Stef and Wolf talk materials science, ISDN, and the illusion of control as they explore the evolution of teledildonics. Learn how these products evolved in step with the internet and what you need to consider before bringing a bluetooth enabled toy into your bedroom and your relationships. 

Oct 23, 202248:18
10. Romancing Robots- A Chat with Dr. Erica Sarr

10. Romancing Robots- A Chat with Dr. Erica Sarr

Stef and Wolf are recording live at the 2023 #ITalkSexualHealth Conference where they've lured Licensed Psychologist Dr. Erica Sarr into an abandoned mailroom to talk all things live, sex, and robots. Dr. Sarr is an expert in process addiction and mental health, specifically as these relate to video games and other technology. This week, she's talks to us about the pros and cons of sexualizing robots, the future of adaptive intimacy tech, and the ethics of romancing a machine. (Content Warning for this episode: we do touch briefly on the debate around the use of technology to treat people with p*dophilic urges)

Oct 17, 202245:10
Episode 9: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 2

Episode 9: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 2

In this continuation of Wolf and Stefani's conversation about the history of erotica media over the last 75 or so years, Stefani discusses how moral panics and public health crises shaped the way in which we create and consume smut. From 16mm stag party films through the rise of interactive, user-created content, this episode explores the fascinating ways in which the worlds of sex and tech influence each other and drive innovation and connection. 

Oct 09, 202252:44
Episode 8: The Road Not Taken- A Conversation with Cat Coode

Episode 8: The Road Not Taken- A Conversation with Cat Coode

In this episode, Wolf and Stefani chat with data privacy expert Cat Coode and learn all about the ways in which data (about what we do and what we DON’T do online) is gathered, interpreted, and shared by social media and other tech companies. Whether it's keeping track of the questions you didn't end up asking, trying to guess why you might not have used a health tracker app recently, or creating an illusion of privacy that doesn’t exist- information about what we HAVEN’T done online is tracked to a degree we often fail to recognize. Cat tells us all about the ways and whys behind this monitoring and offers suggestions for how to reduce the risk while living so much of your life online.
Oct 02, 202244:55
Episode 7: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 1

Episode 7: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 1

In this week's episode, Stefani battles a head cold in order to share what she learned about the history of sex tech while preparing for her recent Circle City Con presentation "Digital Desire: 10,000 years of Cyber Sex." In part one of this two-part series, she and Wolf chat about erotic innovations from 7200 BCE through the 1950's including a discussion of her favorite 19th century innovation that spurred enterprise, modernized communication, and thoroughly scandalized the British. What was this infamous device? Listen now to find out!

Sep 27, 202237:26
Episode 6: The Creepy Line- An Interview with Stephanie Hare

Episode 6: The Creepy Line- An Interview with Stephanie Hare

In this episode, we talk to Stephanie Hare, author of Technology Is Not Neutral: A Short Guide to Technology Ethics. She tells us all about third party data collection, scientists attempts to use AI to read someone's sexual orientation on their face, and why going cashless in the elementary school lunchroom can set children up for a problematic approach to relationships later in life. Stephanie's fascinating, a little bit terrifying, and here to help us all better navigate The Creepy Line. 

Sep 19, 202249:12
TikToK Treachery

TikToK Treachery

Wolf and Stef are back after several weeks traveling to various InfoSec events around the country. On their vacation, they learned about a recent trend of women sharing tips and tricks on social media to help one another spy on their partners and children. In this episode, we discuss some of the cultural and psychological factors that may be influencing this trend, as well as steps that you can take to protect your privacy from well intentioned (but unacceptable!) surveillance by those nearest and dearest to you.
Sep 08, 202234:53