
Securing Sexuality
By Securing Sexuality

Securing SexualityJan 08, 2023

36. Making Love for $17 Million Dollars, A Conversation with Cindy Gallop
SexTech Revolutionary Cindy Gallop doesn't want much... she only wants to change the world. In this week's episode, Stef and Wolf are joined by the pioneering, activist, TED Talk speaker, and founder of the website Make Love, Not Porn to unpack the differences between social sex videos and pornography and learn more about how reframing our understanding of erotica can revitalize our society's understanding of sensuality, intimacy, society, and more. Cindy shares her vision for a vibrant, revelatory, celebratory, body- and pleasure-positive world where men, women, and everyone can feel safe and sexy... and it all starts with a little seed funding.

35. Sexy Spring Break! What Wolf & Stef Learned In Europe
Our intrepid and incorrigible co-hosts return from their epic multi-country learning extravaganza! This week, they're debriefing their experiences in ancient brothels and modern red light districts, Spanish museums and German nightclubs. They've spent the last seven weeks meeting up with some of the leading sexuality researchers, educators, and clinicians in the Europe and they're here to tell you all about it. What do Nazis have to do with drawing your curtains? Can we really believe what they tell us about ancient advertisements? Does falafel belong on a pizza? And how does a burlesque dancer decide what to take off... or not? These questions and more were answered on Wolf and Stef's Sexy Spring Break!

34. Making An Offer Your Roomba Can't Refuse
Touch, connection, companionship- these are primal needs. Cultures around the world teach that "It is not good for man to be alone"... but that doesn't mean companionship has to come from another human, right? Where do robots and digital personalities factor into our human quest for connection? How can technology help foster intimate justice and pleasure equity? Are there limits to what we can ask of machines? Yeah... we don't know. Good thing we have a philosopher on hand to help us ask the questions! Ezio di Nucci is professor of bioethics and director of the Centre for Medical Science and Technology Studies at the University of Copenhagen and he doesn't know either. But the conversation we have is great!

33. Privacy in a Post-Roe America, Part 3
Slightly less than one year ago, the Securing Sexuality podcast was launched to provide immediate, actionable security advice to people grappling with the Dobbs ruling, which overturned Roe v. Wade. We worried then about the way that personal data and digital communications would be weaponized against people seeking reproductive health care. Eight months later, Stef and Wolf revisit the topic to discuss a recent case in Texas involving private text messages being used in a wrongful death lawsuit involving a self-managed abortion. Tune in to this infuriating, terrifying, update to Privacy in a Post-Roe America today.

32. Street Smarts for the Information Superhighway
Remember back when the internet was new? Honestly... probably not. We're two generations removed from the dawn of the internet age and even those who were born before the days of the "information superhighway" find their memories of life before AOL rather blurry. The problem with living in this new age of ubiquitous tech is that we've all gotten used to it- we don't think much about online safety anymore because we've all heard those messages, fast forwarded through the PSA's and dozed off during computer class. The idea that we "get it now" encourages complacency and exposes us to subtle risks we might not think to prevent. Thank goodness that Nicole Schwartz, security researcher and co-COO of The Diana Initiative is here to give us all a refresher course in 21st century street smarts.

31. How To Date A Serial Killer- Pepper Spray, Safety Checks, and Our First Date
What does it take to make Wolf nervous? Is the prospect of dating a serial killer enough to make him break a sweat? What steps should you take to protect yourself when you're meeting someone (or going somewhere) new? Are those fancy, jewelry-style personal safety baubles worth the cost or do they open you up to a whole new category of risk? We answer all those questions and more this week on Securing Sexuality.

30. Balancing Privacy & Protection: A Chat with Dr. Caleb Jacobson
Mandatory reporting laws are a cornerstone of the modern American social contract. Americans assume that those in positions of trust and authority- teachers, therapists, doctors, and others- will use their authority to protect those who are at risk of being abused; and this assumption is both a source of anxiety (for those who want to live and parent free from governmental oversight) and reassurance (for law enforcement and case workers working to identify at-risk individuals). Imagine our surprise, then, to learn that mandatory reporting practices are NOT a universal norm and that what constitutes ethical duty for therapists working with more complicated clients varies around the world. This week Wolf and Stef are joined by Dr. Caleb Jacobson, an American clinical psychologist and sex therapist living and working in Germany, who discusses how privacy policies and protective strategies vary around the world.

29. The Ask Us Anything Episode
Every week, Wolf and Stef bring you a conversation with someone they find interesting, or a topic that caught their attention. In other words? They ALWAYS get to choose what they talk about. Until today! In this episode, Wolf and Stef are joined by Frank Mons, Communications Director for The Bound Together Foundation. He's got a list of queries submitted by listeners and he's going to make sure you get answers to ALL your burning questions.... mostly. (This is a show about privacy, after all)

28. Defining Digital Health
"Everything good is bad for you", the old expression goes. You like steak? Here comes heart disease. You want to lay out on the beach? Hello, melanoma! You want to relax and play some video games? Well guess what, buddy... you're an addict! It's easy to make everything seem harmful when we don't have a solid. understand of what healthy looks like. That steak? Helps with anemia. Sunshine? Thanks for the Vitamin D, friend. And gaming- like anything- has pros and cons. This week we're joined by Drs. Markie Twist and Neil McArthur- a Marriage and Family Therapist and a philosopher respectively- to help us unpack what digital health looks like, and how to know when our love of tech might be going too far. You're going to feel a lot better after listening.

27. NOPE-lahoma: What's Happening in the Sooner State is Not OK
Mental health providers across the country are watching with trepidation and outrage as Oklahoma codifies a new rule that would require every licensed therapist to upload client data into a statewide shared system. This week, Stefani and Wolf explain why this is such a terrible idea for patients and providers. The state's Health Care Authority Board meets to discuss APA WF 22-16 just 72 hours after this episode airs. Listen now to find out what you can do to take action- no matter where you live.

26. The Gatekeepers: Net Neutrality and The Fight Over Who Decides What You See Online
Often confused for censorship or conflated with community standards, it seems like everyone has an opinion about about net neutrality... but few understand what it really entails. This week, Wolf and Stef are joined by facilitator, sex educator, and media justice advocate Bianca Laureano who helps us break the topic down, explore how it impacts our every day digital lives, and explain why this esoteric-sounding subject should matter to mental health providers, content creators, sexuality professionals, and laypeople alike.

25. Facebook, Flat Earth, and Fascism: What Wolf Wishes the Supreme Court Knew about Section 230
This term, the United States Supreme Court is set to rule on Section 230- the law that (it's been said) "created the internet." Like most laws, it's deceptively simple. And like many aging adults, the Justices aren't quite as up on their digital literacy as they could be. Their ruling (due late Spring) could dismantle the web as we know it. Or? It might result in a beautifully footnoted, legal shrug. But before they break out their briefs and start grilling their clerks about TikTok, it's time to answer the question... what does WOLF want them to understand about the 26 words that keep the memes a'flowing?

24. Use Me, Guide Me: Where Desire Meets Design

23. My What A Big, Sexy Brain You Have
What do hacker cons, sexology cons, and GalaxyCon have in common (beside the fact that Wolf and Stef spent their December attending EACH of these events)? They all draw an audience of people who find smarts VERY sexy. This week, we're talking about sapiosexuality- sexual attraction to intelligence. And you don't have to be classically "booksmart" to have a big, sexy, brain. There are multiple intelligences and thousands of people who find them deeply desirable.

22. The Buddy System: App-Based Support Groups with Chandler Rogers
From Reddit and Instagram to WhatsApp and Slack, it seems like everyone carries their social circle around in their pockets these days. Self-help and support groups covering everything from grief and loss to substance use (and everything in between) exist everywhere from Facebook to 4Chan.
From a privacy perspective, this kinda makes Wolf wince!
But we can't deny the reality that society is moving towards ever more screen-mediated relationships; so we're excited to be joined by Chandler Rogers who shares the story behind his innovative new support platform, Relay Health, and helps Stef and Wolf explore the new reality of both clinician facilitated AND peer-to-peer telehealth communities.

21. Bye-Bye Books! Unpacking the Shame to Censorship Pipeline
This week Stef and Wolf reminisce about their favorite library memories, engage in some less-than-literary critique of Shakespeare and, and discuss the current situation in Florida, where books are being pulled our of classrooms and libraries until they can be vetted for compliance with Ron DeSantis's new educational (read: censorship) standards. Needless to say? These two bookworms have some thoughts.

20. The World Is Watching, an Interview with Albert Fox Cahn
The Executive Director of the New York based Surveillance Technology Oversight Project join us this week to discuss the policing of LGBTQIA+ communities, fighting for the rights of religious minorities, and the increasing role of surveillance in public policy and policing. Learn what gives Albert Fox Cahn hope and how he and his colleagues are fighting to make NY a privacy model for the nation.

19. Deviancy Dropout: What Stefani Learned by Dropping Out of School
In this weeks episode, Stef and Wolf discuss her status as a deviancy drop-out, Wolf gets to hear those three little words everyone wants to hear from their spouse, and they finally resolve one of their longest-running relationship conflicts: just how important is college, anyway?

18. Return Your Vibrator: Rowenna Fielding and Sex Toy Privacy
Rowenna Fielding, an expert in data privacy, governance and ethics, joins us this week to talk about the difference between sex toy security and privacy. Listen in as she and Wolf geek out over the tech behind the tools, Stefani explores how RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) can be applied to our pleasure devices, and Rowenna discusses how to evaluate and select a new toy... and when to consider returning them.

17. Crocs Are Not Sexy: Wolf & Stef go to the AVN Expo
Happy New Year! Wolf and Stefani are back from their December sabbatical to report out on their trip to the Adult Entertainment Expo hosted by AVN. In this episode, they share their impressions as first-time attendees and discuss what surprised them, what excited them, and what left them a little confused. If you've ever wanted to know how a huge gathering of adult content creators and their fans could be downright wholesome, this is the episode for you!
Securing Sexuality is brought to you by The Bound Together Foundation, a 501(c)3 nonprofit: www.boundtogetherfoundation.org

16. Digital Community & Sex Worker Solidarity
This week we're talking to Dr. Kurt Fowler, Associate Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington AND the author of the forthcoming (tentatively titled) Virtually Yours: Sex Work and Digital Culture. Wolf and Stef talk to him about how marginalized workers use digital tools to foster safety and learn how we can best ally with those who make their livings by connecting with others in deeply personal ways.

15. Balls, Shaft, and Flippers
From it's origins as outlaw entertainment to its modern iteration as a somewhat old fashioned family-friendly activity, join Stef and Wolf at the Seattle Pinball Museum as they discuss what lessons we can learn about life, love, and lust from a decades old game.

14. Putting the V in Voice with Aimee Cloutier
Patient advocate and founder of HealthyHooha.com, Aimee Cloutier joins us this week to talk all about vulvovaginal health and the barriers that vulva-owners often experience when seeking healthcare. Wolf and Stef learn about the limitations of medical education, discuss what patients can do to speak up for their bodies and their wellness, and hear more about Aimee's passion for evidence-based health education. Whether you're someone with a vulva, or just happen to love someone who is, this episode is a must-listen.

13. No WHUT, November?!?!
It's November once again! That annual time when we think about Puritans, working up an appetite, and... abstinence? No Nut November might have gotten its modern start on social media, but the philosophical and (pseudo)scientific origins date back centuries. Join Wolf and Stef as they discuss the history, the science, the risks, and the potential benefits of choosing not to baste the turkey for a full 30 days.

12. On Safety & Strumpetry- A Conversation with Luna Lapine
Wolf and Stef are joined by Luna Lapine, erotic content creator and owner of Moon Rabbit Studios to talk about her safety awareness practices as a self-described "professional strumpet." Luna describes her first-hand experiences with risk mitigation as an adult artist and shares her love of Victorian cabinet cards featuring strumpets of yore.

11. Love On The Line- How Going Wireless Changed Our Relationships
From telegraph to teledildonics, people have leveraged technology to cultivate pleasure and intimacy for themselves and their partners. This week Stef and Wolf talk materials science, ISDN, and the illusion of control as they explore the evolution of teledildonics. Learn how these products evolved in step with the internet and what you need to consider before bringing a bluetooth enabled toy into your bedroom and your relationships.

10. Romancing Robots- A Chat with Dr. Erica Sarr
Stef and Wolf are recording live at the 2023 #ITalkSexualHealth Conference where they've lured Licensed Psychologist Dr. Erica Sarr into an abandoned mailroom to talk all things live, sex, and robots. Dr. Sarr is an expert in process addiction and mental health, specifically as these relate to video games and other technology. This week, she's talks to us about the pros and cons of sexualizing robots, the future of adaptive intimacy tech, and the ethics of romancing a machine. (Content Warning for this episode: we do touch briefly on the debate around the use of technology to treat people with p*dophilic urges)

Episode 9: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 2
In this continuation of Wolf and Stefani's conversation about the history of erotica media over the last 75 or so years, Stefani discusses how moral panics and public health crises shaped the way in which we create and consume smut. From 16mm stag party films through the rise of interactive, user-created content, this episode explores the fascinating ways in which the worlds of sex and tech influence each other and drive innovation and connection.

Episode 8: The Road Not Taken- A Conversation with Cat Coode

Episode 7: 10,000 Years of T&A, Part 1
In this week's episode, Stefani battles a head cold in order to share what she learned about the history of sex tech while preparing for her recent Circle City Con presentation "Digital Desire: 10,000 years of Cyber Sex." In part one of this two-part series, she and Wolf chat about erotic innovations from 7200 BCE through the 1950's including a discussion of her favorite 19th century innovation that spurred enterprise, modernized communication, and thoroughly scandalized the British. What was this infamous device? Listen now to find out!

Episode 6: The Creepy Line- An Interview with Stephanie Hare
In this episode, we talk to Stephanie Hare, author of Technology Is Not Neutral: A Short Guide to Technology Ethics. She tells us all about third party data collection, scientists attempts to use AI to read someone's sexual orientation on their face, and why going cashless in the elementary school lunchroom can set children up for a problematic approach to relationships later in life. Stephanie's fascinating, a little bit terrifying, and here to help us all better navigate The Creepy Line.

TikToK Treachery

Episode 4: Go Change Your Password (Again)
This week Wolf & Stef talk about the untimely demise of RememBear, how annoying passwords are, why biometrics might not be the end-all-be-all in protecting your privacy, and what steps you need to take to keep your accounts (and your nudes!) locked down.

Episode 3: IPV + Tech
This week we're talking about Digital Domestic Violence with Chris Cox, the Founder and Director of Operation Safe Escape, a nonprofit that helps people experiencing Intimate Partner Violence to secure their safety, protect their privacy, and counter-act abusers attempts to use technology as a tool of power and control.

Episode 2: Privacy in Post-Roe America, Part 2

Episode 1: Privacy In Post-Roe America, Part One
In a time when laws and culture seem to be shifting rapidly, join us for a conversation about the basics of digital security and how to minimize your online footprint. Whether you're dating, job hunting, or researching a medical condition, find out how to protect your communication with others, hide your browser history, and ensure that you have the space and privacy to make a fully-informed decision, whatever choices you make.