Securing Sexuality

"Everything good is bad for you", the old expression goes. You like steak? Here comes heart disease. You want to lay out on the beach? Hello, melanoma! You want to relax and play some video games? Well guess what, buddy... you're an addict! It's easy to make everything seem harmful when we don't have a solid. understand of what healthy looks like. That steak? Helps with anemia. Sunshine? Thanks for the Vitamin D, friend. And gaming- like anything- has pros and cons. This week we're joined by Drs. Markie Twist and Neil McArthur- a Marriage and Family Therapist and a philosopher respectively- to help us unpack what digital health looks like, and how to know when our love of tech might be going too far. You're going to feel a lot better after listening. 

Mental health providers across the country are watching with trepidation and outrage as Oklahoma codifies a new rule that would require every licensed therapist to upload client data into a statewide shared system. This week, Stefani and Wolf explain why this is such a terrible idea for patients and providers.  The state's Health Care Authority Board meets to discuss APA WF 22-16 just 72 hours after this episode airs. Listen now to find out what you can do to take action- no matter where you live. 

Often confused for censorship or conflated with community standards, it seems like everyone has an opinion about about net neutrality... but few understand what it really entails. This week, Wolf and Stef are joined by facilitator, sex educator, and media justice advocate Bianca Laureano who helps us break the topic down, explore how it impacts our every day digital lives, and explain why this esoteric-sounding subject should matter to mental health providers, content creators, sexuality professionals, and laypeople alike. 

This term, the United States Supreme Court is set to rule on Section 230- the law that (it's been said) "created the internet." Like most laws, it's deceptively simple. And like many aging adults, the Justices aren't quite as up on their digital literacy as they could be. Their ruling (due late Spring) could dismantle the web as we know it. Or? It might result in a beautifully footnoted, legal shrug. But before they break out their briefs and start grilling their clerks about TikTok, it's time to answer the question... what does WOLF want them to understand about the 26 words that keep the memes a'flowing?

D-types spend a LOT of time thinking about how best to guide, direct, and nurture their submissives. User Experience (UX) designers do the exact same thing for every website visitor! This week we are joined by Stephanie Spiegal, AKA Miss Stevie, a User Experience Designer turned professional dominatrix who tells us all about how design thinking helps her create scenes for her submissives, while BDSM-style negotiations and consent processes inform her collaborations with her tech clients. In other words? Miss Stevie is right in the center of our Intimacy and Technology Venn... and she's holding a flogger. 

What do hacker cons, sexology cons, and GalaxyCon have in common (beside the fact that Wolf and Stef spent their December attending EACH of these events)? They all draw an audience of people who find smarts VERY sexy. This week, we're talking about sapiosexuality- sexual attraction to intelligence. And you don't have to be classically "booksmart" to have a big, sexy, brain. There are multiple intelligences and thousands of people who find them deeply desirable. 

From Reddit and Instagram to WhatsApp and Slack, it seems like everyone carries their social circle around in their pockets these days. Self-help and support groups covering everything from grief and loss to substance use (and everything in between) exist everywhere from Facebook to 4Chan.  From a privacy perspective, this kinda makes Wolf wince! But we can't deny the reality that society is moving towards ever more screen-mediated relationships; so we're excited to be joined by Chandler Rogers who shares the story behind his innovative new support platform, Relay Health, and helps Stef and Wolf explore the new reality of both clinician facilitated AND peer-to-peer telehealth communities. 

This week Stef and Wolf reminisce about their favorite library memories, engage in some less-than-literary critique of Shakespeare and, and discuss the current situation in Florida, where books are being pulled our of classrooms and libraries until they can be vetted for compliance with Ron DeSantis's new educational (read: censorship) standards. Needless to say? These two bookworms have some thoughts. 

The Executive Director of the New York based Surveillance Technology Oversight Project join us this week to discuss the policing of LGBTQIA+ communities, fighting for the rights of religious minorities, and the increasing role of surveillance in public policy and policing. Learn what gives Albert Fox Cahn hope and how he and his colleagues are fighting to make NY a privacy model for the nation. 

In this weeks episode, Stef and Wolf discuss her status as a deviancy drop-out, Wolf gets to hear those three little words everyone wants to hear from their spouse, and they finally resolve one of their longest-running relationship conflicts: just how important is college, anyway? 

Rowenna Fielding, an expert in data privacy, governance and ethics, joins us this week to talk about the difference between sex toy security and privacy. Listen in as she and Wolf geek out over the tech behind the tools, Stefani explores how RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) can be applied to our pleasure devices, and Rowenna discusses how to evaluate and select a new toy... and when to consider returning them. 

Happy New Year! Wolf and Stefani are back from their December sabbatical to report out on their trip to the Adult Entertainment Expo hosted by AVN. In this episode, they share their impressions as first-time attendees and discuss what surprised them, what excited them, and what left them a little confused. If you've ever wanted to know how a huge gathering of adult content creators and their fans could be downright wholesome, this is the episode for you! Securing Sexuality is brought to you by The Bound Together Foundation, a 501(c)3 nonprofit: www.boundtogetherfoundation.org

This week we're talking to Dr. Kurt Fowler, Associate Professor of Criminal Justice at Penn State Abington AND the author of the forthcoming (tentatively titled) Virtually Yours: Sex Work and Digital Culture. Wolf and Stef talk to him about how marginalized workers use digital tools to foster safety and learn how we can best ally with those who make their livings by connecting with others in deeply personal ways.  

From it's origins as outlaw entertainment to its modern iteration as a somewhat old fashioned family-friendly activity, join Stef and Wolf at the Seattle Pinball Museum as they discuss what lessons we can learn about life, love, and lust from a decades old game. 

Patient advocate and founder of HealthyHooha.com, Aimee Cloutier joins us this week to talk all about vulvovaginal health and the barriers that vulva-owners often experience when seeking healthcare. Wolf and Stef learn about the limitations of medical education, discuss what patients can do to speak up for their bodies and their wellness, and hear more about Aimee's passion for evidence-based health education. Whether you're someone with a vulva, or just happen to love someone who is, this episode is a must-listen. 

It's November once again! That annual time when we think about Puritans, working up an appetite, and... abstinence? No Nut November might have gotten its modern start on social media, but the philosophical and (pseudo)scientific origins date back centuries. Join Wolf and Stef as they discuss the history, the science, the risks, and the potential benefits of choosing not to baste the turkey for a full 30 days. 

Wolf and Stef are joined by Luna Lapine, erotic content creator and owner of Moon Rabbit Studios to talk about her safety awareness practices as a self-described "professional strumpet." Luna describes her first-hand experiences with risk mitigation as an adult artist and shares her love of Victorian cabinet cards featuring strumpets of yore.

From telegraph to teledildonics, people have leveraged technology to cultivate pleasure and intimacy for themselves and their partners. This week Stef and Wolf talk materials science, ISDN, and the illusion of control as they explore the evolution of teledildonics. Learn how these products evolved in step with the internet and what you need to consider before bringing a bluetooth enabled toy into your bedroom and your relationships. 

Stef and Wolf are recording live at the 2023 #ITalkSexualHealth Conference where they've lured Licensed Psychologist Dr. Erica Sarr into an abandoned mailroom to talk all things live, sex, and robots. Dr. Sarr is an expert in process addiction and mental health, specifically as these relate to video games and other technology. This week, she's talks to us about the pros and cons of sexualizing robots, the future of adaptive intimacy tech, and the ethics of romancing a machine. (Content Warning for this episode: we do touch briefly on the debate around the use of technology to treat people with p*dophilic urges)

In this continuation of Wolf and Stefani's conversation about the history of erotica media over the last 75 or so years, Stefani discusses how moral panics and public health crises shaped the way in which we create and consume smut. From 16mm stag party films through the rise of interactive, user-created content, this episode explores the fascinating ways in which the worlds of sex and tech influence each other and drive innovation and connection. 

In this episode, Wolf and Stefani chat with data privacy expert Cat Coode and learn all about the ways in which data (about what we do and what we DON’T do online) is gathered, interpreted, and shared by social media and other tech companies. Whether it's keeping track of the questions you didn't end up asking, trying to guess why you might not have used a health tracker app recently, or creating an illusion of privacy that doesn’t exist- information about what we HAVEN’T done online is tracked to a degree we often fail to recognize. Cat tells us all about the ways and whys behind this monitoring and offers suggestions for how to reduce the risk while living so much of your life online. 

In this week's episode, Stefani battles a head cold in order to share what she learned about the history of sex tech while preparing for her recent Circle City Con presentation "Digital Desire: 10,000 years of Cyber Sex." In part one of this two-part series, she and Wolf chat about erotic innovations from 7200 BCE through the 1950's including a discussion of her favorite 19th century innovation that spurred enterprise, modernized communication, and thoroughly scandalized the British. What was this infamous device? Listen now to find out!

In this episode, we talk to Stephanie Hare, author of Technology Is Not Neutral: A Short Guide to Technology Ethics. She tells us all about third party data collection, scientists attempts to use AI to read someone's sexual orientation on their face, and why going cashless in the elementary school lunchroom can set children up for a problematic approach to relationships later in life. Stephanie's fascinating, a little bit terrifying, and here to help us all better navigate The Creepy Line. 

Wolf and Stef are back after several weeks traveling to various InfoSec events around the country. On their vacation, they learned about a recent trend of women sharing tips and tricks on social media to help one another spy on their partners and children. In this episode, we discuss some of the cultural and psychological factors that may be influencing this trend, as well as steps that you can take to protect your privacy from well intentioned (but unacceptable!) surveillance by those nearest and dearest to you. 

This week Wolf & Stef talk about the untimely demise of RememBear, how annoying passwords are, why biometrics might not be the end-all-be-all in protecting your privacy, and what steps you need to take to keep your accounts (and your nudes!) locked down. 

This week we're talking about Digital Domestic Violence with Chris Cox, the Founder and Director of Operation Safe Escape, a nonprofit that helps people experiencing Intimate Partner Violence to secure their safety, protect their privacy, and counter-act abusers attempts to use technology as a tool of power and control. 

A conversation around protecting your medical privacy- especially when you're pregnant or concerned about becoming pregnant. Who should you talk to? How do you find help and information without exposing yourself to unnecessary risk? What do you need to know before you go to the doctor and what should you tell them? How can you ensure that your choices remain yours (no matter what they are)- we talk about all this and more in Part 2 of Privacy in a Post-Roe America. 

In a time when laws and culture seem to be shifting rapidly, join us for a conversation about the basics of digital security and how to minimize your online footprint. Whether you're dating, job hunting, or researching a medical condition, find out how to protect your communication with others, hide your browser history, and ensure that you have the space and privacy to make a fully-informed decision, whatever choices you make.