ShitShow

Let's be real - it's been a shit of a year. From Brexit to Covid and everything in between, people will never forget 2020.  UNTIL WE MAKE YOU FORGET WITH TWO HOURS OF ABSOLUTE FIRE. 

That's right. The Yule Lads have come to bless your ears and sniff your doorways in a bumper Christmas episode.  It's a pillowcase under the tree that contains Kris Kringle horror shows, Gus's ongoing stoush with WA Police, a giant cat with the freshest kicks around and so much more.  We also have a look at the year that was and why we're so god damn happy to see the end of it.  

Make sure to give it a listen when you've had enough of your annoying family, or you're on a road trip within your own state/country due to lockdown.

G&R

People are cooked. How do we know this? Usually, just a passing glance will do the trick. However, how do we truly understand the method behind the cookery? Google searches.

There are a lot of idiots out there contributing the weirdest search terms that the internet has ever seen. In this very first edition of Trends In Low Places, Gus delivers a range of bizarre and still somehow wildly popular Google searches to Rig, as they try and figure out the answer to the question that has plagued humanity since 1997: Why are people sexually attracted to Pokemon?

Game of Rones Episode XVII: He Touched Me is ready for your listening pleasure. Weird title we know, but we assume Elvis meant it in a biblical sense, not like a sinister Catholic sense. Please don’t make us into a hashtag.   

But let us touch you with tales from the low lights of Canberra to the dog statues of Turkmenistan and all the crazy googly-eyed, kid-punching sports mascots in between.  

Let us touch your ears with some laughs, and feel free to touch our hearts with a review if you're so inclined. 

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Fails of Our Lives.

In this very special presentation, we turn the magnifying glass on ourselves to go over one of the worst gigs we’ve ever played.

A couple of years ago we were asked to host a major industry awards night. We came, we saw, we failed miserably. This is a recount of what led up to it and how badly it went.

It’s a tale of misplaced grandeur, icy receptions, lost jokes and slave labour.

Click above to listen to our Vietnam.

Welcome to the Gus and Rig Presidential Debate.   

2020 has been a year for the books for the USA: Coronavirus has ravaged the country, civil unrest continues, and wildfires are burning through California. 

But we don’t care about ANY of that. 

In a special (non) televised debate, Gus and Rig go head to head to see whether Joe Biden or Donald Trump will take the precious swing states in this year’s election. They’ll do this not by focusing on the issues or party platforms, but based on the best and worst those states have to offer in terms of trainwrecks. 

People will be offended when their state is represented by winners that hosted a ‘meth death party’, denied global warming, reckoned that abortions cause breast cancer and shot themselves in the foot just to see what it felt like.   

We also pay tribute to those candidates who never made it to the big stage, mainly due to being no-hopers or just batshit insane. It’s a deluxe spread so sit back and enjoy the yelling. 

Once you’re done and you’ve processed all the info, get out and vote if you’re in the US or get on the punt if you’re anywhere else.   

eagle scream noise

With bandits at every turn, only the Law of the Saddle keeps things in line in this one horse town. Cougars are eliminated, electronic cock cages are mandatory, no mention of Genghis Khan will be allowed and 8ft tall wooden dicks are used to solve any disputes.

If you can comply with the law, click the link in the bio or find it on your favourite podcast app.

If you can’t, prepare to meet your maker. And by maker, we mean 8ft tall wooden dick.

Game of Thrones Episode XV: The One with the Stoned Guy is now out. And like a horrific hodgepodge of flavours that come with weed-induced munchies, we are giving you jet packs drizzled in crystal meth glaze  and topped off with a Taco Bell grenade. It’s craaaazy maaaaaaaaaannnn.

We are stoked that this week’s installment is called Super Buddies because fun fact: that’s what we almost called the entire show before our manager told us of a possible cease and desist from the producers of the Air Bud movies/it was super lame.

This week, we fit about 28 dogs into 14 dogs worth of stories about hypnotism, printer toner, fruit picking and water that “turns you gay” according to a prominent conservative journalist. We use the word journalist very, very loosely.

Air Bud fans call it a slam dunk! Air Bud producers call it grounds for a lawsuit! Listen now, Super Buddies.

Perhaps due to the positive vibes we put out into the universe, or most likely because fans of the show are just the best at sending us f’d up content, we have hit the mother lode. Over several years, phenomenal doctors have been recording the worst nomenclature imaginable and saving it in what we are calling the Batshit Baby Name Bible. We have come into possession of it and good lord there are some absolute knee slappers. Strap in and enjoy.

Game of Rones Episode XIII: Octopussy is now live! It has all the trappings of a classic Bond instalment: nangs, used dongbags by the kilo and someone almost shooting their own dick off.

So don that tux, plant a smirk on your face and ask the bartender to play this over the gramophone at your favourite speakeasy.

We guarantee it’ll leave you shaken. And stirred.

We hope you're ready to return to Savage Beach - a place none of us have ever been and are only mentioning now - and relive the glory days of your first fateful trip! Cast your eyes upon the sandy hellscape you remember, which is now replete with stargates, cases of refreshing Cadaver Ale, beach umbrellas and 260.47kg of crystal meth.

We're gonna have a great time so grab a human table and your favourite glass pipe as we take in the majesty of Savage Beach once again (for the first time).

'STOCKS AREN'T THE ONLY THING GOING UP' : Get ready for an actually completely unintentional frisky Game of Rones XI: Debbie Does Wall Street. Listen in as shares in sad handjobs, Blowo's and shitty dating bios go way up, and stocks in replacement dicks, doors and Brisbane plummet.

Make sure to pleasure your ears immediately to this because 'greed is good'.

‘I LIVE MY LIFE ONE QUARTER COCAINE HORSE AT A TIME’: Game of Rones Episode X: F9 is here. This is most definitely and not confusingly the tenth entry in the series, where we push the NOS to 11 (we don’t know cars) and cover off everything from Walmart cowboys to Kevin Hart, and weird conspiracies all the way to Kevin Hart. Enjoy the ear cleanse, friends.

Kevin Hart.

Game of Rones Ep IX: Son of Podzilla is ready for your ears, dear listeners. We’ve got a giant Japanese lizard’s worth of shit to cover and Smash Mouth, porch doctors and rough-as-guts Tinder bios from the country are just the tip of the iceberg. 

As two 30+ men, we understand that we are inching ever closer to death and are losing touch with what is popular and why.

So, we decided to head to the source. In this super delectable piece of exclusive pie, we welcome resident young person Tina into the studio to explain Catfishing. Why is it done? What is the point? Has it ever happened to her? All of this will be revealed in this first instalment of “The Kids Aren’t Alright”

When you take one part stupidity, two parts fear and a dash of horrific bedside manner, you get some amazing horror stories from the medical world. We're talking lopped off fingers, testicular ultrasounds, doctors who treat you like a Tinder date, as well as the newest medical innovation, the dick splint. Listen and recoil, just like we did.

Introducing Game of Rones VIII: The Ocho, bringing you the finest in seldom heard stories from around the globe since 2017. If it's barely newsworthy, we've got it here! We've got flag confusion, fat monkeys, tree loaves and much, much more demon jizz. Give your ears a treat and listen now!

The boys are all hopped up on mezcal in this bumper edition of Game of Rones. Turkmenistan comes in hot with all its weird horse stuff, a bloke goes on a costly butter chicken run and our newest volume of Man Vs Tree Biscuit comes to life in Florida. There's also the return to horrible, but also amazing, dating app bios in crowd favourite Iso Horny.  Strap your bits in and enjoy the auditory Turkmenbashi.

Homegrown Horrorshows sees us throw a topic out to you the listeners, and see what you come at us with. In this episode, we look at baby names and discover that it is just a scorched landscape of terrible parenting out there. From unnecessary Y's to why you can't name your Lizard son Phillip, it is a solid bite-sized eargasm to start your week.

This week we officially welcome the Return of the Jeppi. Gus’s spawn has arrived and we could not be happier. To celebrate, we will give you a baby shower full of comically bad carjackers, Corona conspiracies and regrettably heaps of post-2011 Kanye West. It’s a belter, so strap yourself in and get right around it.

This episode we tackle all the big issues - Leonardo the Coke Turtle, how easy it is to break out of an Italian prison, and 'Janitoring' - the new sexual craze the kids won't stop talking about! We also have another instalment of Iso Horny, and Gus waxes lyrical about why male Obstetricians should have their medical licenses revoked. It's a thing, and you have ears - the math checks out. Enjoy!

Gus and Rig explain the most pressing question right now, "WTF is Fear at the Top", in a long form expose about their manager Girgs and their theory on how Shitshow was renamed overnight to Fear at the Top.