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The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry

The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry

By The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry

Formally known as "Slow Death in the Afternoon Podcast," this is a podcast for absinthe enthusiasts, creative people, or anyone who likes to have fun. Join Dan and Jerry as they follow the Green Fairy into places where they probably shouldn't go.
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Revisiting Nerd Outpost 209 with Mike McShane

The Green Hour with Dan and JerrySep 30, 2020

00:00
01:04:09
Revisiting Nerd Outpost 209 with Mike McShane

Revisiting Nerd Outpost 209 with Mike McShane

Our old friend Mike McShane (IMDb Link) returns to regale us of backstage tales and sordid details of the times before the glitz and the glory (in other words, back when we were all in college together, hanging out in the back rooms at restaurants and sucking nitrous oxide out of whip cream cans). There's also behind the scenes tidbits from movies such as Office Space, Richie Rich, and TV shows such as Seinfeld. And more!

Not only is this a special episode, it’s also the last episode of season two. But don’t worry, we’ll be back in 2021 with more moreness. There’s going to be even more moreness in the great amount of more in season three!

Sep 30, 202001:04:09
You Are Absinthelutely Correct

You Are Absinthelutely Correct

If Jack from The Shining were drinking absinthe at that bar, he would have written a wonderful novel instead of turning psycho murderer. Just sayin'. That is one of many important discussions we have here at this terribly important and so very serious show. No where else will you find the hard facts on what it would be like to recast the movie Dirty Harry with Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. Oh, and just to let you know, season two is winding down. I know, I know, you're either terribly sad or greatly relived, but either way ... there's still a few episodes left. Carry on!

Sep 24, 202001:11:60
Dan and Jerry's Excellent Adventure
Sep 16, 202055:05
Absinthe and Ammo

Absinthe and Ammo

Remember that old Warren Zevon song, "Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money"? Well, this is not it. This is more, "Send Fairy Dust, Zombies, Bob Newhart, The IT Crowd, Travel Man, What We Do in the Shadows, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Rick Wakeman, Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of the War of the Worlds, Alan Parsons, Star Trek Discovery, and Science Fiction Weapons."

Sep 10, 202001:10:57
Drinking Absinthia Absinthe with Absinthia!
Sep 02, 202001:00:06
Burning Plane Crash full of Spiders

Burning Plane Crash full of Spiders

This one has hookah pipes, book discussions ranging from The Hardy Boys through Truman Capote's In Cold Blood, Dan's connection to the late, great Philip K. Dick, and some glowing notes about an absinthe called "Meadow of Love." Plus, of course, all the usual nonsense. You must listen or you'll miss out on all the nonsense!

Aug 18, 202055:39
Dan Bought a Chinese Atomic Bomb Lamp

Dan Bought a Chinese Atomic Bomb Lamp

The title says Atomic "Bomb" Lamp, not Atomic "Bong" Lamp. Meanwhile, Jerry suffers from some credit card fraud but was saved, apparently, by Netflix, Dan gives his recommendation on what he puts on his "music to sip absinthe by" playlist, and Jerry tells Dan about a girl named Ramona who works at a snake farm.

Aug 10, 202001:00:31
It's a Rootin' Tootin' Ride Through Absinthe Mountain!

It's a Rootin' Tootin' Ride Through Absinthe Mountain!

<ul>
<li>Learning history via cartoons</li>
<li>New York absinthe bars</li>
<li>Remembering Occupy Wall Street</li>
<li>Shakespearian Insults and the Insultamatic Camera System</li>
<li>Why are end of the world stories always so popular?</li>
<li>Jerry has a mind boggling physics question for all you brainiacs out there!</li>
</ul>
Aug 02, 202001:07:31
Beep Beep Make Room for My Little Jeep

Beep Beep Make Room for My Little Jeep

Trust us, if you don't know what the title is referring to, then you don't want to know. Other than that, this episode basically talks about box monkeys who are obsessed with those with bigger boxes, and the boys talking about Occupy Wall Street (remember that?) and the fact that if you really want to have a protest have some real effect, then you need to protest with your wallet. Lots of good absinthe conversation going on in this one, and remember this pro tip: the more you drink, the funnier we are

Santé!

Jul 27, 202001:11:19
Getting Arrested while Holding Twinkies

Getting Arrested while Holding Twinkies

Dan and Jerry talk about stuff. And things. And jail. 

Jul 19, 202001:07:47
We're Just a Bunch of Box Monkeys

We're Just a Bunch of Box Monkeys

Back in 2011, Jerry found out that, contrary to his expectations, it kind of sucked to live in a high-rise corner penthouse. Also, this is a COVID-19-free episode, though we do talk a lot about the zombie apocalypse ... so it's about the same thing. Just with more zombies.

Jul 13, 202001:17:21
Be Excellent To Each Other

Be Excellent To Each Other

To wear a mask, or not wear a mask ... that is a question. To go on an outing or stay home. To decide if you are an introvert, or an extrovert ... is it one or the other, or is there a spectrum? Also: spider-eating vacuums, pinball games and slot machines, vintage typewriters, and giant camera lenses -- this episode has it all. Peace and love, fellow humans. Stay well. And don't set absinthe on fire.

Jul 07, 202001:32:16
Think Different

Think Different

Sick of hearing about the 2020 pandemic? This is a pandemic-free episode! How?! Because it was originally recorded in 2011, and in it Jerry talks about the email he once received from Steve Jobs, Dan questions how Saint Peter ended up being Heaven's security guard, and Jerry discusses the one addiction he just can't seem to kick. Also, Dan has an actual prescription for whiskey, and a pen he cannot take on an airline. Santé!

Jun 29, 202054:04
And the Pod Gods Frowned

And the Pod Gods Frowned

The pod gods smited us during this episode, forcing us to regroup and pick up the pieces. Among the cursed subjects are Romper Room memories, the horrors of finishing a bottle of Le Tourment Vert, and experimenting with the ROOT OF ALL EVIL (it's not money). Jerry also gives his recommendation of a specific camera, if you were only to have one camera -- this is the one. Until, of course, the newest model comes out.

Jun 17, 202001:18:40
Love And Chatbots

Love And Chatbots

Even back in 2011 Dan and Jerry were talking about the ominous aspect of not knowing if you're talking to a real person, or a bot, on the Internet. In this episode, Jerry is drinking Esprit Edouard, and Dan gives a review of Père Francois. What are you drinking? Santé!

Jun 08, 202001:02:49
Death From the Ankles Down

Death From the Ankles Down

Topics covered in this silly train wreck:

  • How not to break your absinthe fountain 
  • Why you should rent movies instead of buy them
  • Dan and Jerry pitch a seriously low budget movie to either Neflix or Syfy
  • Other assorted Green Hour shenanigans 

Grab your favorite beverage of your choice and join us!

May 31, 202001:13:43
Day Drinking on a Sunday Morning

Day Drinking on a Sunday Morning

It's 10 AM for Dan and 12 Noon for Jerry, but hey, it's a Sunday, and so who cares? Get your drink ready and join us for The Green Hour, where Jerry is enjoying his La Clandestine (now that he's figure out to not dilute it so much) and Dan gives advice to those trying new spirit for the first time. The boys also talk about bottles of alcohol that are designed specifically to be repurposed as a bong; why Jerry prefers independent music; and Dan recommends some older awesome movies for Jerry (and the rest of us) to put on our Netflix watch lists. They also talk about the tools of their respective creative trades, and ask you to chime in.

May 17, 202001:03:19
Art is Anything You Can Get Away With

Art is Anything You Can Get Away With

Important lessons to learn: How not to be roofied (Jerry's girlfriend had a very close call); buying glasses on the Internet is a total crapshoot; don't try to treat an eye infection with flaming absinthe; and how to make a absinthe Mojito. Special guest appearances on this September 2011 retro episode include Marilyn Monroe, Groucho Marks, and Chuck Testa. 

May 13, 202001:17:33
Alcoholic Beverage Slap-downs and Antisocial Networks

Alcoholic Beverage Slap-downs and Antisocial Networks

In this retro episode the boys discuss the movies Sucker Punch, Tank Girl, and 300; about charging back businesses which waste your time; about getting Australian Spiders via the mail; about Dan going to the Absinthe show in Las Vegas; and about watching old ladies as they stare at go-go dancers. Also included is a special appearance by author and poet Sandra Beasley.
May 09, 202001:21:36
Squandering In Ignorance

Squandering In Ignorance

So the United States Government finally makes an official admission that, in effect, UFO's are real, and in this day and age we pretty much yawn and say, "Whatever." Has it really come to this? Yes, dear friends, it has. But there is one positive note: some very smart people are doing serious research to see if the ingredients of absinthe may help fight the current pandemic, and so we say, "Let's drink to that!" And we did. Jerry, in fact, drank maybe a bit too much. Also he reveals the results of his test, which was last episode's cliff hanger.

Apr 29, 202001:09:40
Should the Absinthe Festival Be Online?

Should the Absinthe Festival Be Online?

If Burning Man is going to be online this year instead of out on the Playa, why can't the various absinthe festivals be online? And if they're not, should we create our own? Let's discuss.

Apr 23, 202001:02:13
Easter is a good time for a Green Hour

Easter is a good time for a Green Hour

In this special episode, recorded mostly on Easter Sunday 2020, we're joined by special guest Kim Haasarud, a James Beard-honored mixologist,  author, beverage consultant, and Vice President of the United States Bartenders Guild, where she tells us how we can all pitch in and help bartenders and waitstaff displaced by the current Covid-19 pandemic. Or, how to get help from the USBG if you are a bartender or waitstaff who has found yourself in the situation where you could use a helping hand. Other topics in this episode include classic science fiction movies; Godzilla and the Twilight Zone (then, and now); the latest installment of Red Dwarf; and many other things to explore ... or re-explore ... while physically distancing. 

Note: Jerry was going to call this episode, "Are you Social Distancing, or Do I Just Have Bad Breath?" but at the last minute thought better of it.

Apr 14, 202001:10:58
Quarantine's Got Talent!

Quarantine's Got Talent!

Between Dan posting quarantine memes and Jerry posting pictures of birds and squirrels, the boys are keeping themselves occupied during the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. The US Bartender's Guild is collecting money to help those laid off during the crisis, while the New York Post is reporting that alcohol sales are up around 55%. Distilleries are considered essential businesses, most likely because schools are not -- but many are helping to fight this war against the germ by retooling their distilleries to produce sanitizing products. Welcome to the End of the World As We Know It.

Apr 04, 202001:04:34
The Hunt for Green October

The Hunt for Green October

If a bee is like a sharp stick, a wasp is like an automatic handgun. Why would you ever put a wasp in your absinthe? Why? And why should anyone even have to ask that question? Like why should you not put plutonium in your 3-Mile Island Root Beer Schnapps? And why should you never light absinthe on fire?

Apr 01, 202049:25
The Mummy Speaks!

The Mummy Speaks!

Our special guest on this episode is a 3000 year old mummy. Little did he know his afterlife would be so "Meh."

Mar 25, 202001:00:26
If Beer Grew On Trees

If Beer Grew On Trees

Remember way back in 2011 when the CDC released information about how to prepare for a zombie apocalypse?

Mar 18, 202036:06
Injecting Testosterone Into Your … Area

Injecting Testosterone Into Your … Area

Change is in the wind. Our podcast’s name is going to gently morph into “The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry” mainly because it would probably be easier to get guests to join us for that, than for a “Slow Death in the Afternoon.” In this episode Jerry is sipping on a Death in the Afternoon Cocktail made with Cooks Brut and Kubler while he and Dan talk about absinthe in Montana, self-improvement by getting out of your own way, and green fairies who like to get naked for you. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long is that is what they genuinely want to do.) Plus, Jerry and Dan both get into some TMI for hopefully everyone’s benefit. No pain no gain.

Mar 13, 202001:05:57
If You Louche It, They Will Drink

If You Louche It, They Will Drink

Mephisto Absinthe Review. Tattoo ideas. Old fat Elvis paintings on black velvet. Earthquake stories. Giraffe curling. And, how good are zombies at washing cars?

Mar 07, 202001:10:03
The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry

The Green Hour with Dan and Jerry

Dan tells a tale of phantasmagoria while Jerry sips Jade 1901 and listens in fascination about demons, murders, and what old-timey people used to do before there were horror movies. There is also a tale of murder that was blamed on absinthe, and which started the worldwide ban on absinthe back in the day … even though most likely it should have been blamed on wine.

Feb 29, 202001:02:04
Song about Absinthe written by Artificial Intelligence, and Tenth Ward Absinthe Review

Song about Absinthe written by Artificial Intelligence, and Tenth Ward Absinthe Review

Season two premier episode, featuring a song about absinthe written by an artificial intelligence, Dan giving his initial taste test and review of Tenth Ward Absinthe, and Jerry takes us through a bizarre history of alcoholic beverages used as medicine since before the year 7000 B.C. Also, the boys touch upon the subject (again) of making your own absinthe at home.

Feb 20, 202055:27
Searching for Absinthe and Roasting Dan at His Own Funeral

Searching for Absinthe and Roasting Dan at His Own Funeral

It's Dan's birthday! So what does he want? A funeral?!? Yes, that's what he wanted, so that's what we gave him. A comedy funeral "roast" hosted by none other than the one and only Mike McShane. That, and a bunch of bottles of absinthe. So a huge shoutout to longtime friend Mike (we can't tell you how much we love this guy) for being the Master of Ceremonies, and thanks to longtime friend and Slow Death in the Afternoon listener Jeff for being there as well, and also to old and dear friend Dave for participating all the way from Australia. Also a HUGE shout out to all Dan's friends, too many to name here, and also since Jerry is the one typing this, he can't remember any of their names. Except for Becky (who is the ultimately awesome girlfriend by the way, and Dan is an extremely lucky dude to have her in his life). Video can be found on our website at absithepodcast.com or on our Facebook page. Also, note to Dan: please don't drink absinthe in Hell. Remember it's flammable

Dec 31, 201934:60
Psycho X Lovers and Glasses with Fricken' Lasers

Psycho X Lovers and Glasses with Fricken' Lasers

Greetings to all future peoples from us here in the distant past! This mostly retro episode of the podcast features glasses with fricken' lasers, holiday shopping woes, and discussions about how you know when a Hollywood franchise is on its last leg when they suddenly set it "in space." The boys also pose the question to you, the listeners: Have you ever had a psycho x?

Dec 24, 201949:03
Probably Our Holiday 2019 Episode!

Probably Our Holiday 2019 Episode!

Why probably? Because we don't really know. Dan is super busy with local shows for his day job for the rest of December 2019, and while Jerry may have a substitute guest host lined up, that also is not a for sure thing. Other than that, what can you expect from this episode? Well, how would you like to be a double-secret absinthe counter spy? You might be one right now and not even know it! Be careful with that pen you have no memory of ever touching before because if you push the button on the top you may release a weapon of mass drunkenness. If all this wasn't enough of a train wreck, Jerry uses his amazing psychic powers to channel the spirit of the first human to ever suckle a cow.

Dec 17, 201901:11:26
Absinthe Tourettes

Absinthe Tourettes

In this retro episode, Dan reviews three different absinthes: NV, Mephisto, and Vieux Carré. The boys also discuss scorpions inside bottles of liquor (why?!) and Arizona dust storms.

Dec 10, 201901:19:18
Losing Your Absinthe Virginity

Losing Your Absinthe Virginity

In this episode Dan teaches Jerry how to professionally negotiate just about anything. Jerry tells Dan how to get people to leave when it's time for them to go home. Also in this episode: Mashing up Watership Down with A Clockwork Orange. A robot which duplicates (or dispenses) absinthe. How the stuff you own ends up owning you. How to enjoy moderation in moderation. And, we answer the age old question: Does absinthe really make the heart grow fonder?

Dec 03, 201901:12:27
Thanksgiving 2019 Special

Thanksgiving 2019 Special

That's right, future listeners, this episode was recorded waaaay back in November, 2019! Inside it contains: Cinnamon night sweats. Absinthe eggnog. Chocolate absinthe cigars. Absinthe, kittens, and anti-depressant hallucinogenics. Time-traveling Mandalorians in Elon Musk's cyber truck. It's Thanksgiving, dear future listeners -- and we are drunk. Thank you!

Nov 28, 201901:46:43
Bartles and Hemingway

Bartles and Hemingway

IN THIS EPISODE Dan and Jerry suggest you go to Meetup.com and start a local absinthe meetup group. Also, Dan urges Jerry to "practice what you've been drinking" tells him about how much he hates paying retail prices. No, seriously, he hates it. Also mentioned in this episode is the brilliance that is "Robot Chicken" (can you believe it's been going on since 2005?), and how Dan used to love frequenting hookah bars. Or course, this was back when it was only legal for him to smoke shisha. ALSO, STAY TUNED dear future listeners, as there is a BONUS EPISODE coming out this week: our 2019 Thanksgiving Special.

Nov 27, 201901:18:18
If you "Reimagine" Absinthe it's probably not Absinthe anymore...

If you "Reimagine" Absinthe it's probably not Absinthe anymore...

In this episode we touch upon recently announced Henrick's "Absinthe Reimagined," and while we're not bashing it -- because we haven't actually tasted it -- we're skeptical about calling it "absinthe." Also covered is the upcoming legalization of marijuana in Michigan and Illinois, the challenge of pronouncing absinthe in a plural sense, and Jerry touts the wonderfulness that is Clandestine absinthe. He also gives us details about the sadly defunct "Green Fairy Club" that had used to be in the Naperville / Aurora Illinois area, and discuss the 5 people (living or dead) we would like to drink absinthe with. And we'd like to pass that question off to you! Call and let us know who those people would be, at (203) 450-6375.

Nov 18, 201955:23
Absinthe Dot Awesome

Absinthe Dot Awesome

In this episode we talk about Le Tourment Vert, and Jerry tells the tale of getting his very first bottle of Jade Nouvelle Orleans. Dan answers the question: is there anything special about absinthe sugar cubes. Jerry then tells Dan about the connection between sugar cubes and LSD. Jerry talks about "Absinthe Stripper Magic" (Video) and the boys discuss how they can get people to put money together and buy the .awesome top level domain. You know, so that you can have a website address like "absinthe.awesome." Last but not least, they want to know if you've ever been to Burning Man, and if you have, call and leave us a voice mail telling us about your experiences at (203) 450-6375‬.

Nov 12, 201901:16:49
Louche Offs and Neutron Bombs

Louche Offs and Neutron Bombs

This episode was actually recorded right before Halloween 2019, and where Jerry lives there's already snow on the ground. He is not happy about that. But besides that, the boys do a "louche off" taste test between Letherbee and Kubler to see which they think is the better of the two to recommend as a "starter absinthe" to someone who's never tried the beverage before. Music at the end is by Feather Drug, and if you love it as much as the boys do, you can listen to more of Feather Drug (Guillaume Thévenot) on BandCamp and SoundCloud.

Nov 04, 201945:15
It Came From the Living Horror of Zombie Beach

It Came From the Living Horror of Zombie Beach

Featured here for the very last time, this is a remastered version of our Halloween Special with a brand new intro recorded in 2019. True ghost stories, and contacting spirits with a Ouija Board, Dan and Jerry follow the green fairy into places they should truly never, ever go.

Oct 31, 201901:32:19
Friends don't let friends burn absinthe

Friends don't let friends burn absinthe

In this episode, recorded October 24, 2019, Dan and Jerry explore where exactly the idea of burning absinthe came from, then dive even deeper to touch upon the origins of absinthe itself. Spoiler alert: it goes back way further than either of them realized. Other things covered: A review of Letherbee Absinthe; using CBD to combat, of all things, PROCRASTINATION; and then Dan and Jerry get into a bit of a heated discussion about whether or not you should ask famous friends to sign things for you.

Oct 28, 201901:07:49
You're only immortal for a limited time

You're only immortal for a limited time

Fake IDs, podcasting during tornados, hamster powered podcasting, Nice Peter Picture Songs, using a pen as a weapon, and flapper terms from the 1920's. Also, what if it's your first time going to Burning Man and the Zombie Apocalypse has happened? Would you even notice?

Oct 22, 201901:04:14
If you have a great idea, run with it NOW
Oct 15, 201901:07:34
Get Down Funky Like a Furry Gibbous Monkey

Get Down Funky Like a Furry Gibbous Monkey

We know it should probably be "Gibbon" monkey but that's not the way it came out, all those years ago. What the heck are we talking about? You'll have to listen to find out. Besides that foolishness, Dan gives a barside review of Haint Absinthe, and Jerry follows suite with his recent barside experience with something called Nain Rouge Absinthe. Other absinthes touched upon in one way or another are State 38's Damn Good Absinthe (which, unfortunately, doesn't appear to be too damn good), Oregon Spirit Absinthe Original, and Fish Creek Green Fairy.

Oct 08, 201901:08:53
Zombies on Rainbows

Zombies on Rainbows

This episode features La Sorcière Absinthe Supèrieure Verte and Grande Absente reviews from 2011. This is news to Jerry as he has no memory of ever trying Grande Absente, let along liking it. Side note: apparently in Stockton California all absinthe is kept behind glass so that it doesn't escape. Also, Dan and Jerry discuss tasteful garden zombies, and the fact that you can get a Harley Davidson fountain pen.

Sep 30, 201901:04:29
Yes, you can make absinthe at home, but...

Yes, you can make absinthe at home, but...

"If you cross-breed a cow with a buffalo ... you really have to convince that cow, you know." That's a line from a song used in this episode. Does it have anything to do with absinthe? Not really. Does it have something to do with Dan and Jerry. YES. Yes it does. But besides that, the boys talk about being pissed off at Microsoft, about Star Trek (but it has nothing to do with absinthe), about being in a car with a girl while another car is pointing guns at the car in front of you (that really happened) and about how some people do make absinthe at home using a technique much akin to making a pot of tea ... but using alcohol instead of water.

Sep 24, 201901:04:43
Coffee and Absinthe ... oh my!

Coffee and Absinthe ... oh my!

It's like coffee and absinthe were made for each other ... but will it go with Jade absinthe? And will Jade go with champagne? Jerry finds out. Also, Jade gets back to Jerry about a cork issue, and Dan talks about an article filled with such misinformation about absinthe that it puts the "anus" in "heinous." Aaaand there's some personal sharing going on. But it's okay, they trust you.

Sep 16, 201901:16:23
I Don't Know ... THIRD BASE!

I Don't Know ... THIRD BASE!

Jerry learned something important from his recent absinthe emergency: how to NOT open a bottle of Jade. Meanwhile Dan is laughing because Jerry has a blood test in the morning and so can't have anything to eat or drink after a certain time, and that time is coming up in 15 minutes ... so Jerry has to down his glass of absinthe very quickly. There are consequences to this.

Sep 09, 201901:00:58
Soylent Absinthe Green

Soylent Absinthe Green

Jerry doesn't know what or how he screwed up but apparently this episode was supposed to be named "Smells Like Teen Absinthe," not the last one. That's not the only thing he screws up -- he can't cook chicken without making himself sick, and he experiments with a new drink during the recording which may or may not kill him. He and Dan also discuss numerous things you DO NOT WANT TO DO with absinthe. And in this episode, you get to hear the origins of how Dan came to know and love creepy dental phantoms. Being that this is a retro episode, portions were recorded in 2019, mixed in with recordings made in 2011.

Sep 03, 201901:18:37