By Sober Sex
SOBER SEXMay 15, 2023
Softcore Trauma with Margeaux Feldman
Margeaux Feldman is a writer, educator and community builder committed to providing folks living with trauma opportunities to build connection. Margeaux is an academic who has left the institution to focus on aligning with their core values of compassion, curiosity, accountability and emergence. Margeaux is also the sweet genius behind glorious instagram account @softcore_trauma. Welcome, Margeaux, to Sober Sex.
Trigger Warning: Rape
Juan Maclean: Welcome (Back From) the Jungle
Juan Maclean is an internationally celebrated DJ, Producer and performer, in addition being a ceremonial guide and space holder, and sound director of Cardea Space. He has an extensive background in recovery from addiction and depression, and I’m proud to call him a dear friend. On today’s show we will cover some topics that are quite controversial in recovery communities. It is our goal to present modalities of healing in an accessible way. If this freaks you out, I get it, maybe listen to a different episode today.
You can find out more about Juan and his work at https://www.instagram.com/thejuanmaclean/
and of course, follow us at https://www.instagram.com/fuckyeahsobersex/
Adam Ficek: Music and Mind
Adam Ficek is a psychotherapist, counselor and renowned musician and DJ based in London. He is a member of the band Baby Shambles and a solo artist, and he works with the NHS, BAPAM, Help Musicians and Tonic Music specializing in working with musicians and treating addiction disorders. He is currently finishing his doctoral studies on musicians and mental health.
Life Support: Luke Jenner
Luke Jenner is best known for his work with the celebrated dance-rock band The Rapture and his captivating music as a solo artist. He is also a visual artist and a certified life coach, and a father and husband in long term recovery. This episode talks about his journey to this point, through music and love and parenthood.
Find out more about Luke at @MrLukeJenner on all socials.
Erika Moen: Oh Joy Sober Sex!
Erika Moen is a queer cartoonist based in Portland, Oregon. With over two decades in the comics industry, she has co-created the sex positive series ‘Oh Joy Sex Toy’ and the sex nd relationship book for teens ‘Let’s Talk About it’ with her husband Matthew Nolan. Erika is a frequent guest on Dan Savage’s beloved Savage Lovecast and is currently or king on her autobiographical graphic novel about mental health You can find Erika and her work at Patreon.com/erikamoen
Consent Wizardry with Mia Schachter
Mia Schachter is a consent wizard. They are a writer, speaker, podcaster, artist, intimacy coordinator and consent educator working in and teaching several different modalities for consent. We are beyond thrilled to talk to Mia today.
Please check out Mia’s work at https://consentwizardry.com/ or on instagram @consent.wizardry, and listen to their great podcast ‘SHARE THE LOAD’
Ryan Dusick - RocknRoll Therapist
Ryan Dusick is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist with an MA in Clinical Psychology. He is also the founding drummer of the wildly successful band, Maroon 5.
Ryan recently published his memoir ‘Harder to Breathe’, which chronicles his struggles with anxiety and alcoholism, his band’s rise to success and the devastating loss of his ability to play drums due to nerve damage.
Today Ryan is in recovery and we are thrilled to share his experience, strength and hope on Sober Sex. You can find his book at https://www.ryandusick.com/harder-to-breathe/
Risdon Roberts: Out Beyond Intimacy
Risdon Roberts is a sex and intimacy coach, IPSA certified, trama-informed surrogate partner with training in on set intimacy coordination for film and TV and in consent and restorative practices. She helps clients with sexual dysfunction and with navigating non monogamy, and in connecting to their bodies to access joy, pleasure and liberation. Ridson is sober. I am so excited to talk to them today on Sober Sex!
Unfortunately this episode got rudely cut off by the technology gods at the very end but it's a great listen and Risdon is exceptionally awesome.
If you'd like to know more about their work, you can find her at: www.outbeyondintimacy.com
Paul Leroy: Exploring Masculinity Against the Patriarchy
Paul Leroy is relentlessly creative. Former big deal musical director at numerous large hotels across the US, now big deal crypto guy and blossoming filmmaker based in France, Paul has been in the process of doing deep work healing from trauma and recovering on a profound and powerful level. We are thrilled to talk about all of this and more today on Sober Sex.
Sophia Cleary: Performance Doula
Sophia Cleary is a queer multi-disciplinary powerhouse: actor, writer, artist, comedian and
performer drawing from experiences as diverse as being a birth doula, waiter and analyst for a
private investigator. Sophia has presented her work at esteemed venues around the world and
is presently host of monthly comedy show SMILE KNIFE and is workshopping her one woman
show ‘It Gets Worse’, which you can see in New York or Los Angeles. Sophia is also half of
feminist punk band, ‘Penis’. Welcome, Sophia, to Sober Sex.
This chat with Sophia was so funny and magical; she is a hilarious genius and it was a delight to get to know her better. We talk a lot about how it feels to be genre-free as an artist, about the joys of having a rock collection and how taking our own needs seriously allows us to live authentically and to make powerful art. You can find Sophia and her work at https://www.sophiacleary.com/
Super-Powered by ADHD with Tristan Hunt
Tristan Hunt is a certified Transformational Coach specializing in helping music industry professionals who are struggling with ADHD. Recently having departing his post as regional manager for the Association For Electronic Music, Tristan remains a steadfast advocate for neurodiversity within electronic music culture. We are thrilled to talk about his new venture today and how ADHD and addiction, creativity and relationships might intersect.
This conversation with dear Tristan was super informative and dynamic in discussing how Neuro-Diversity and addiction, relationships, sex and creativity intersect, and solutions to potential pitfalls of dealing with ADHD. Tristan is clearly passionate about his new career path and it was a joy to enthusiastically discuss these relevant issues with him.
For more information, go to https://www.tristanhunt.co.uk/
Emilia Richeson-Valiente: Pony Sweat and Spiritual Healing Through Dance Aerobics
Emilia Richeson-Valiente is a performer, actor, dancer and emotive aerobics facilitator based in Los Angeles. Emilia is also the wildly charismatic leader of the benevolent cult of Pony Sweat, a fiercely non competitive dance aerobics celebration. Pony Sweat is a practice in anti-perfectionism and radical self-acceptance, the goal of this high energy, emotive, healing journey is to cultivate freedom of movement and thought, to take care of ourselves and of each other. Welcome, Emilia, to Sober Sex.
I say that every episode is my favorite but this one is really up there. There were so many moments of epiphany in this generous, funny, delightful, wise conversation with awesome Emilia. Notable also is Emilia's fantastic mullet. I hope you love listening as much as I enjoyed recording this one.
You can find Emilia's work and have a spiritual experience at https://www.ponysweataerobics.com/
ROMY OHHH! Agender/Agenda, a History of Love through Music and What a Stable Person Looks Like
Romy Hoffman is an Australian artist, producer, songwriter and DJ based in LA. She fronts an all girl post-punk band called ‘Agender’, runs her own label, ‘Climax’ and throws celebrated parties HOMOCCULT and and Lez Croix. She also makes visual art. She is a powerhouse of fierce creativity and we are delighted to welcome her to Sober Sex today.
Erin Khar: Addiction and Advocacy
Erin Khar is an author and advocate known for her writing on addiction, recovery, mental health, parenting, and relationships. Erin knows first-hand the challenges of addiction recovery and has established herself as a respected voice in the national conversation about the overdose epidemic.
Erin's debut memoir, Strung Out , appeared on most anticipated lists from Apple Books, Goodreads, SELF, The Rumpus, Bitch Media, and others. Of the book, The New York Times writes, "Khar’s buoyant writing doesn’t get mired in her dark subject matter. There is an honesty here that can only come from, to put it in the language of 12-step programs, a 'searching and fearless moral inventory.' This is a story she needed to tell; and the rest of the country needs to listen.”
She writes the weekly advice column, Ask Erin, on Substack, and her personal essays have appeared in SELF, Marie Claire, Salon, The Times of London Sunday Magazine, HuffPost, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, and others. She lives in New York City.
On this episode we talk about recovery modalities outside of twelve step models, benevolence for future self that is the act of journal keeping, horses, and very briefly (TW) childhood sexual trauma. Erin was a pleasure to talk to, we hope you love this episode!
Follow us at @fuckyeahsobersex on instagram or at @sobersexpodcast on twitter!
Hosty: Sober Sex News and Updates
Super quick check in on NEW THEME SONG, hosty (singular), our openness to feedback on some but not all things and just seeing what's good!
Like! Subscribe! Rate! Tell your friends! Tell your enemies!
episode cover photo by @sabrinawestmoreland
Mumu is a singer, songwriter, actor, musician, feminist and dear friend. Her strong political viewpoints and advocacy are evident in her lyrics and music videos, as is her personal experience with everything from addiction and mental illness to sexuality, embodiment and pleasure. We are delighted to welcome Mumu to Sober Sex!
Brandon O'Connell is an old friend, and after a long history struggling with addiction, incarceration and homelessness, Brandon has now been clean and sober since 2017, and has made altruism a way of life, working with Vantage Point in LA and San Diego to help people post-incarceration and those struggling with addiction. In addition, Brandon has a podcast called 'Trashcan Talk' which you can check out on all streaming platforms
Courtney - Liberated Adventure Queen
With us today is Courtney Wittich, formerly of C.Wittich media, now of being a liberated queen of vision, creativity, adventures and generally a good life. Courtney is a dream guest because we talk about her often (as a beacon of delight and general ray of sunshine) and we are ecstatic to introduce one of our very favorite people to the Sober Sex audience. On this episode we discuss life changing magic of 'The Artist's Way', butt rashes, miraculous romance and how to have a good attitude in even the most trying circumstance.
TW: there is brief mention of sexual assault, if you're not feeling up to hearing about that today, perhaps skip this episode.
Radical Reinvention with Kate Marlene
Kate Marlene is an American author, podcaster and artist living in Berlin. She is also a narrative therapist and social justice advocate, focused on individual and community healing. In this episode we discussed her journey into recovery and through motherhood and divorce as a sober woman, what reinvention looks like in recovery and how embracing femme has felt for her. While there were some technical difficulties, we think we took care of them in the edit and that this episode is a great time! You can learn more about Kate from her awesome podcast, 'About Face', available on all platforms
Mandy Manners is a habit change & well-being specialist and a coach who helps women heal & thrive in their lives, sobriety, wellness and beyond. She is an author, speaker & professional trainer who uses her own story to break down stigma and raise awareness of the interconnection between mental ill health, trauma, identity and addiction. In this conversation we laugh a lot and talk frankly about the hard parts of recovery, parenting, partnering and more.
#TriggerWarning: discussion of sexual trauma.
DREAM BOATS EGO DEATH
Ego death … Connectivity.. Loneliness.. Brain farts… Struggling with pronouns.. Neuroplasticity…Parenthood.. Intimacy.. Nous 3.
Louisa + Lily + Rose get real @fuckyeahsobersex
EM THE ETHICAL INSPIRER
Em is the co-founder and editor in chief of the solutions journalism platform Everyday Grit and soon to be rebranded The Inspirer!! They started this platform out of frustration of the news only reporting on the problems that our world faces without telling the stories of the people who are dedicating their lives to finding solutions. They believe that if we knew what can be done, and saw examples of people doing it, we would all be more inspired to take action each at our own level to make our world better and safer for all of us!
They are queer, non-binary, polyamorous and many other things that don’t quite fit in traditional labels written out by normative society. And they are driven by the radical imagination of a world that can exist if we free ourselves of what we are told to be, by exploring and discovering who we are instead!
MAGICAL MAE - RADICAL INTIMACY ARTIST
Maé is a French American print maker and ceramicist currently residing in Paris, France.
Her work touches on subjects such as sexuality and spirituality and uncomfortable things like shame and trauma.
She is finishing her masters this year and (hopefully) publishing her book soon on Japanese rope bondage as a radical act of relational humanity
Season 3: Hosties (WELCOME BACK ROSE!)
In this episode, we welcome Rose back from maternity leave and focus on evolution and intimacy. There is laughter and tears (per usual) and talk of motherhood, creativity, putting in work, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Lisa Simpson. A great time is had by all; won't you join us?
Tadeo: Addition to Academics (and so much more)
Tadeo Ilarde is a student getting his masters in Human Rights, specializing in Migration at one of Paris’ most esteemed universities.
We discuss the difference between sex work and sex trafficking and which populations tend to slip through the cracks even when governments are progressive in their legislation around sex.
Additionally, we learn about Tadeo’s incredible story and personal migration through different cultures, addictions and ultimately what his recovery looks like today. This is an informative, entertaining and tender episode with one of our new most favorite people.
Heather Hayes: A Ripple Effect
Heather Hayes is the founder and CEO of Heather R. Hayes & Associates, Inc. She is a Master’s level Licensed Counselor,
Board Registered Interventionist (CIP) and Certified ARISE Interventionist. Ms. Hayes earned her B.A. from Emory University
and her M.Ed. from Antioch University in Counseling Psychology. A veteran of the behavioral health field, Heather has over
35 years of experience treating clients with complex mental health issues and the full spectrum of addictive disorders. She
has also worked with clients of all ages and specializes in the treatment of adolescents/young adults, trauma, behavioral
issues and eating disorders.
Known as one of the country’s most prominent authorities on these topics, Ms. Hayes is a coveted speaker on the national
and international stage, is widely-recognized for her comprehensive and trauma-informed approach to intervention, and
has been published in numerous journals, books, and other industry publications. Ms. Hayes also serves as an on-air expert
and consultant for CNN and Dr. Oz and has been featured on A&E, ABC, CBS, BBC, FOX, MTV and NBC. In addition, Ms.
Hayes is a featured interventionist on the 2018 & 2019 seasons of A&E’s high-profile show Intervention.
Throughout her career, Ms. Hayes has been a lifeline for clients at their most profound points of suffering. She offers
clients and their families a safe haven as they navigate the recovery journey and works with the entire family system to
support long-term, sustainable healing.
As an independent interventionist and a staunch proponent of professional ethics, Ms. Hayes does not have financial
relationships with any treatment centers or clinicians. Over 95% of her interventions have successfully ended with the
subject agreeing to treatment.
Outside of work, Heather uses her expertise to give back to her community by volunteering as the psychological profiler with
the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Department Hostage Negotiation and SWAT Team.
We are so thrilled to welcome Heather to the show. This episode is emotional and honest and it was such a special opportunity to talk to her days before she celebrated her 40th year clean and sober, and to think about what's transpired in the 15 years since we've known Heather. In some ways, Sober Sex is a direct result of Heather Hayes' powerful work (a successful intervention). If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction of any kind and an intervention is necessary, don't hesitate to check out Heather's work at heatherhayes.com
Season 3 HOSTIES with Lily and Louisa
In this episode we review exciting highlights of the past year and discuss our aspirations moving forward with the podcast and in life, in addition to our fears, desires and silly dogs.
Jessica Lahey: The Addiction Inoculation
Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee for her Creative Nonfiction magazine essay, “I’ve Taught Monsters.” Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors KJ Dell’Antonia and Sarina Bowen, and lives in Vermont with her husband, two sons, and a lot of dogs.
On this episode, we are truly thrilled to welcome multi-talented genius Jessica Lahey to chat with us about parenting, how drugs and alcohol affect brain development, what getting sober many years into a marriage looks like. On this episode it's Louisa flying solo as host as Lily and Rose had last minute emergencies but this is a great chat nonetheless!
Emilyn Kowaleski: May I Not Confuse My Truth With My Trauma
Emilyn Kowaleski is a sober queer feminist writer, director, and facilitator working towards collective healing, transformation, and liberation. They are on a mission to dismantle the oppressive forces that prevent us from being and being seen in the wholeness of our humanity. A theater-maker by training, Emilyn writes in a blend of disciplines including plays, performance pieces, and poetry, essays, and is currently working on a creative non-fiction book about the history of sex-segregated bathrooms in the United States. This conversation was vulnerable, enlightening and terrifically joyful and we hope that you love it as much as we do.
Check out Emilyn's work at:
Francesca Ayala: Sober in Stitches
Francesca Ayala is a multi talented event producer, comedian, author and force of love and inclusivity in the world. In this episode, we discuss the therapeutic properties of comedy, cultural diversity in recovery and Fran's journey into sobriety during the pandemic. We are delighted to get to know her better on Sober Sex!
TW: Early Childhood Sexual Trauma (not explicit, but the existence of this is discussed).
Gimp Suit Krishna with Brandon Rice
Brandon Rice is a person with an impressive and varied resume across numerous different fields. Louisa and Brandon met on a rave cruise where he was acting as tour manager around 2016 and since then he’s been A & R for a rad indie label, worked with the midnight mission in DTLA and is presently getting his masters degree in psychology. This episode is very 12-step oriented, but also contains a lot of wisdom and humor around issues spirituality, sexuality and mental health. We hope you check it out and enjoy it.
Maybe it's Botox, Maybe it's Witchcraft: Vulnerability with Rebecca Rush
On this week’s episode we talk with comedian and author Rebecca Rush. Enlightening, hilarious and a well of sex majik and deep wisdom, this conversation is a true delight. We discuss how escorting can be a healthy choice for self empowerment and financial security, laughing with others about the things we are ashamed with is the path to freedom, self-poly, Succession and so much more. Check it out!
Alex2Tone: Powerful Truth Angel
Alex2tone is a powerful truth angel, in addition to being the design director of LA-based street wear brand ‘Born x Raised’, graffiti artist, tattooer, film director and general creative force. He describes his evolving work to be characterized by ‘strange realness’ and a ‘trashy streak’. Whatever it is that ties the multi-hyphens of 2tone’s glorious aesthetic universe together, it’s working and we are delighted to talk to him today on Sober Sex.
Amber Sisson: Menstruation Genius
Amber (she/her) is a menstrual cycle coach and educator, equality warrior, as well an aspiring social scientist. Amber's main vision is decolonizing the menstrual cycle experience, helping menstruators to experience transformational menstrual embodiment through education and holistic healing, however that may look for feel for them. This conversation is revealing, empowering and enlightening, and we love Amber whole-heartedly! May you love this episode as much as we do.
Acting as a rebellious force and the main antagonist of bass music, there’s no one like MUST DIE! We had the pleasure of talking to the delightful paradox that is Lee Austin Bates about his experiences within creativity, sobriety and sexuality, mental health and fatherhood.
Check him out at https://linktr.ee/mustdiemusic
Brutal Recovery on Brutal Recovery
Loz McQ, otherwise known as ‘@brutalrecovery’, discusses making light from pain through laughter, pre-sobriety ‘disassociative sex mission’ and the indomitable spirit of recovery. We loved recording this funny, profound and enlightening episode, we hope you love listening to it. Check out Loz’s memes (and general incredible magic) at @brtualrecovery on instagram or patreon.com/brutalrecovery.
-The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
-The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield
-I Love Pussy, A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer
-Animal by Lisa Taddeo
Brooke Randolph: Sober and Hungry
Brooke Randolph is the founder of ’ Sober and Hungry’. She is a certified nutritionist and life coach who aims to help clients find holistic resilience and well-being, with a curriculum tailored to create lasting change. More specifically, she works with 12-step oriented healing around food and body issues. It is a delight to talk to her on this episode of Sober Sex.
Fucking Sober on Sober Sex, with Max
Max B aka fucking sober is one of the funniest people on the internet, especially when it comes to the hilariously painful joys and struggles of early recovery. While remaining largely anonymous, Max is kind enough to chat with us here on sober sex about sober sex, of course, but also, sober fatherhood, sober partnership, NOT being sober while in active alcoholism and what it’s like to be simultaneously internet famous and anonymous.
Warning: If you're sensitive to awkward pauses in conversation, something weird was going on with our internet so we either had giant lags or talked over each other for most of the show. We tried to fix this in editing but be warned! Otherwise this is a great conversation.
Baeleche : Open to Growth
Bae Leche aka Bree is a sex and relationship coach, fantasy facilitator and self proclaimed 'kinky mama' who specialized in non traditional, ferociously loving and creative ways of exploring the erotic. We discuss motherhood, poly and open relationships, the challenging journey to embracing all of one's sexuality and depth of desire. We are thrilled to have her on the show!
Katie Rex of Bound
Katie Rex is a dj, promoter, and producer. She has founded one of New York’s most awesome techno/fetish parties, has a powerful story around her own sexuality and journey within recovery. Kate is a wise, funny badass and our conversation covers everything from finding empowerment and healing in kink spaces, normalization and celebration of sex work and what being intentional with her energy looks like today. Find her on the web at @katierex.digital and bound at @bound_nyc or boundnyc.bandcamp.com. Thrillingly, this is also the first episode that Lily co-hosts while Rose is on maternity leave. Please ignore bizarre audio noise in the first 3 minutes (it passes!)
Find us at @fuckyeahsobersex on instagram and @sobersexpodcast on twitter. LINK RATE REVIEW SUBSCRIBE SHARE etc etc
Lily Noelle Rogers: Adventures in Sobriety
Lily Noelle Rogers is an adventurer. A dear friend and amazing human, Lily has worked in realms as diverse and exciting as live music event production, sober companion, photographer, food writer, world traveler, drone pilot, red cross worker and costumer. Thrillingly, she is going to be subbing in for Rose as co-host while Rose goes on maternity leave. This conversation is a deep and healing one about the possibility of recovery and healing from deep wounds into a space of liberated love, in addition to our own story of friendship and adventures in sobriety together.
TRIGGER WARNING: we discuss sexual abuse and rape, if these are sensitive issues for you, please skip this episode.
Described by Klub Verboten founder Karl as ‘gatekeeper and mindful soul who always puts the world right and keeps us tied to our core values’, we are thrilled to welcome to the show Drew Beckett, an integral part of one of London’s most celebrated kink/fetish parties !
JOANNA BARBER: @theothersideoffear
Joanna is an accomplished agent in the dance music industry, in addition to being a personal trainer.
Hailing from the UK, now based in Berlin, she is the founder of the ‘six zero experiment’, which focuses on connecting dance music professionals with a community of like-minded individuals for sixty days of abstinence from drugs and alcohol. This is a holistic, peer-supported approach that is tailored to help those working in an industry that is high risk for drug and alcohol use-disorders, and involves looking at both physical, mental, spiritual and emotional aspects of our relationship with substances to help us grow towards health and freedom
Ducky is a San Francisco bred and based producer and DJ who has been playing clubs since they were 13 (via fake ID vibes). For years they have been quietly shaping their sound - a range of melodic pop tunes and heavy rave bangers that stretch from uplifting to headbanging to full-on hardcore. After moving back to the West Coast from New York on a whim, Ducky quickly bubbled up in both the Los Angeles scene as well as online, boasting releases on Twitch star Ninja’s collaborative compilation with Astralwerks, Zeds Dead’s Deadbeats, and Jauz’s Bite This, to name a few. They easily move through musical roles, premiering an Adult Swim select on Fader one day, throwing a sold out warehouse show in LA the next. Ducky’s sound is able to transcend any one scene, with their music’s raw emotionality and top-tier production earning cosigns ranging from Skrillex to NPR Music.
Princess Superstar, aka Concetta Krishner, is an American rapper and DJ, having worked with everyone from Moby, Arthur Baker and friend of show Larry T to The Prodigy and Grandmaster Flash. Concetta has long term recovery and is an evolving creative force with her new radio show ‘The Magical Adventures of Princess Superstar’ and her booming patreon, which offers fans connection, content and inspiration. We are thrilled to welcome her to Sober Sex to talk and chat through her epic integrity, recovery, motherhood and being a badass warrior
Lou Lebentz: Trauma Thriver
Lou Lebentz is the founder and podcast host of “Trauma Thrivers”, alongside running a hugely successful Facebook Group which helps educate people about complex PTSD and how to thrive through trauma, rather than simply survive. Lou has been a psychotherapist, trauma specialist and EMDR clinician for many years and a new focus for her is empowering women in connecting with and owning the value in their voice. This is a powerful and loving conversation about recovering from trauma within sobriety, and different methodologies of healing.
Trigger Warning: sexual Trauma, childhood sexual trauma
La Fraîcheur: intersectional feminist activist and DJ Producer
La Fraîcheur has been making a name for herself as a producer, DJ and live act for over a decade. Hailing form Paris, now based in Barcelona (via Berlin), La Fraîcheur has toured the world and is a resident at some of the techno scenes most legendary parties, notably those in queer and kink spaces. She is an intersectional feminist activist and has just a released an awesome EP on Lobster Theramin. We are thrilled to welcome her to Sober Sex.
Khalil Rafati 'i forgot to die'
Khalil Rafati is an entrepreneur, smoothie mogul and author of 'I Forgot to Die', a gritty memoir about his journey in addiction and into recovery, and 'Remembering to Live,' a self help book about how he got to where he is today. On this episode we discuss healing from trauma, the importance of gallows humor, the perils of success and the joys of intimacy.
SELOME SAMUEL: FINANCE AND INTIMACY
Selome Samuel is a true polymath, with talents raging from photography and music curation to being a financial coach.
We talk about money as a spiritual tool, how to navigate finances with integrity in relationships and the challenges of asking for one’s worth. This was a nourishing, funny and joyful conversation, and we are delighted to share it!
Larry T is a legend of dance music and queer culture, and a pied piper of recovery in nightlife, spreading the gospel that a fun, free and freaky life in sobriety is something that’s both thrilling and actually possible. We discuss Larry’s journey into recovery and surrounding his sexuality, how he found his spiritual home in Berlin, in addition to his many present projects. An honour and a privilege to talk to this amazing, iconic character!
SPECIAL EPISODE !!! PANEL DISCUSSION IN COLLABORATION WITH DIRTY BIRD ON HOW WE MIGHT SHIFT THE CLUBBING/DANCE MUSIC COMMUNITY INTO A CULTURE OF CONSENT
In this special episode and discussion we are delighted to welcome:
-Dj Rebekah - Rebekah is one of the world's leading techno DJs and producers, the founder of #ForTheMusic and the person spearheading the Me Too Music campaign.
-Lewis G Burton - Lewis G. Burton is an internationally renowned DJ, performance artist, curator and activist. They have been at the forefront of London’s underground queer scene for nearly 10 years nurturing the next generation of trans revolutionaries, queer techno goths, club kids and drag queens. They are the founder and matriarch of INFERNO - A queer rave come contemporary art platform and community space.
-Sital Panesar - Sital is a psychotherapist specialising in mental health and well-being for creatives. She is the founder of MusicaTherapy - an organisation aimed to improve mental health support for musicians and creatives of colour. She also has specialised training and experience working with sexual health related issues, sexual trauma and intimacy.
-Perrine - La Fraicheur is an internationally known French DJ, producer and performer based in Barcelona. She is a resident at legendary Berlin fetish party 'Gegen' and staple behind the decks at queer parties around the world, in addition to being an outspoken intersectional feminist activist.
-Steven Braines - Founder of revolutionary party, music/clothing label He.She.They. , boss of artist management agency The Weird and the Wonderful, hell-bent on creating “a place without prejudice for people to be people”
CAIN: Queer + Sober Adult entertainer, activist, and MAGIC PERSON !!
Cain is a queer artist, content creator, adult entertainer and activist.
Whether it be through throwing LGBTQ+ inclusive events across London, challenging how people view sex work or pushing the body positive self-love agenda - Cain always turns up and turns OUT! It was a pleasure talking to Cain about his journey in recovery and what sober sex looks like for him today.
Lauren Flax is a Brooklyn-based DJ and producer, dear friend and warrior of loving truth, we are thrilled to talk to her about her journey of healing in recovery, creativity, activism and being patient with oneself on the journey
Mary HK Choi
Mary HK Choi is a brilliant author, specializing in Young Adult fiction. Her books ‘Emergency Contact’ and ‘Permanent Record’ are phenomenal pieces that deal with trauma, identity and ‘coming of age’, informed by Mary’s own experience as a Korean-American, and her forthcoming ‘Yolk’ promises more truth, magic, depth and weight. Mary also has two awesome podcasts, ‘Hey, Cool Job!’ And ‘Hey, Cool Life’ that talk about how we do what we do, and how we survive ourselves in a more gentle and loving way. Our conversation deals with some intense stuff, but is unbelievably beautiful and nourishing - to all of us, and, we hope, you.
Preorder Yolk, out March 2:
*Mild trigger warning: This episode touches on trauma and the healing from it. Please use your discretion.
Valerie Chaney is a Mindfulness teacher, dance instructor and poet. She has a weekly podcast with her husband Pete Holmes called “We Made it Weird” (of which we are big fans) where they discuss themes like embodiment, spirituality, meditation and navigating intimate relationships. In our conversation, we got into talking about healing, motherhood, creativity and motherhood. We loved talking to Valerie, we hope you love listening!
Bev "JEDI" Sartain : Transcending Trauma and how I used Spiritual Psychology to heal my life
We get stuck in with the powerful Jedi Warrior Queen that is Beverly Sartain the President of the Holistic Coach Training Institute, where she trains aspiring coaches on coaching skills and business set-up. The Holistic Coach Certification Program is an ICF ACSTH accredited program that focuses on a holistic approach to coaching. We see Clients as whole, complete and resourceful to create creative solutions to their challenges and issues. Additionally, Beverly provides individual and group coaching through her brand, Recovery Life Management. She received her B.S. from the University of Florida and an M.A. from the University of Santa Monica. During her ten-year career in nonprofits, she managed and developed domestic violence and co-occurring residential programs. Beverly is a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. She has her PCC (Professional Coach Credential) from the ICF. Beverly enjoys helping professionals empower themselves around their skill set and online coaching business. She currently resides in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband Richard and their 4 rescue dogs.
Beverly is the host of the LinkedIn group, Holistic Coach Network and the host of the FB group, Holistic Action-Taker Alliance. She is the creator of the Holistic Coach Certification Program and the Spiritual Psychology Coaching Method. She’s written, Transcending Trauma: How I used Spiritual Psychology to Heal My Life. And she has created the Spiritual Psychology Healing Workbook.
SEASON 2 ! HOSTIES
Kicking off season 2, Rose and Louisa have a conversation around how Sober Sex is affecting them personally, and about how they hope the show grows in the forthcoming season. We touch on topics including friendship (duh), creativity and intimate evolution, we laugh and cry. Join us!
EPISODE 16: Good Sex with Jessica Graham
This conversation with Jessica Graham may have been one of our favorites ever and a real treat to end season 1 !
Jessica is a meditation teacher and sex, relationship and spirituality guide for individuals and couples. Jessica also literally wrote the book on ‘Good Sex’. We discuss embodiment, her journey to sexual-spiritual awareness and what a continuing evolution of compassion and awareness looks like today:
Episode 15: DJ REBEKAH #ForTheMusic
Sober Sex welcomes the ferociously talented dj/producer/all around bad ass Rebekah to the show to discuss her #ForTheMusic campaign, which is working to end rape culture in dance music. We talk about her own experiences, her journey within sobriety and what it looks like today to be an advocate for gender-equality and to create safe spaces within club culture so everyone can be there For The Music.
*For more info and to sign the pledge
Episode 14: DOPEY
On this episode of Sober Sex (fuck yeah!) we talk to Dave from Dopey Podcast about his road to recovery and within partnership, fatherhood and friendship. We learn about the powerful story behind how Dopey became what it is today, and a manage some laughter and vulnerability on all sides. Is Sober Sex now a citizen of the Dopey Nation? Listen to find out this and more!
To find out more about Dave and Dopey, check out www.dopeypodcast.com
Episode 13: Stalking your way into Sobriety
In this episode we talk to our pal Dufflyn Lammers, who happens to be a relationship and recovery coach.
We discuss her path to recovery and journey within it, in addition to getting some wisdom surrounding what to do with jealousy, how to navigate the ultimate boner killer, mixing finance and romance, and what cultural myths about relationships we are ready to do away with.
Episode 12: Ian aka Lesbian with a dick
In this episode, we have a conversation with Tastemakers Media co-founder (and artist in his own right), Ian Mcdonell. Ian talks about his exciting road to sobriety and what it looks like today in terms of sexual evolution and authenticity. This conversation is filled with humor, joy and warmth, we hope you enjoy listening as much as we delighted in getting to know Ian better
Episode 11: SITAL PANESAR: MusicaTherapy founder 🖤
In this episode we have the pleasure of chatting with Sital Panesar, founder of MusicaTherapy, which specializes in catering to the psycho-therapeutic needs of musicians and minorities. We discuss her fascinating career path and what lead her to her present occupation, in addition to her own journey of sexual investigation and liberation :https://www.musicatherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/musicatherapy/ https://www.instagram.com/sitalpanesar/
Episode 10: Body Neutrality and Sexploration with Jessi Kneeland
Jessi Kneeland is a a coach, teacher, speaker, and writer dedicated to helping women love their bodies. She a to be an intersectional feminism-leaning clinical sexologist. Is she the perfect sober sex guest? Maybe. Are we total stans? Yes. This is an awesome conversation about her journey to a path where she helps women heal their relationships with their physical forms, and how that healing impacts sex and relationships. It was truly a pleasure and a privilege to invite Jessi to chat with us.
Find Jessi at https://jessikneeland.com/ or follow her at https://www.instagram.com/jessikneeland/
Episode 9: Jacking it to the Moon with Chris Miller
We have a conversation with Lisbon-based, Brooklyn-bred entrepreneur Chris Miller about grow-or-die recovery, love and loss, parenting and staying excited and present in long term partnerships.
Episode 8: Male vulnerability and intimacy
We chat with Mark who is a male vulnerability and addiction Recovery Coach. Mark has turned his experiences with early trauma and addiction into a coaching practice specifically aimed at helping people apply addiction recovery tools in a realistic and sustainable manner. Mark specializes in helping men identify and break dysfunctional patterns of sexual behaviour, bridging the gap between treatment and life. His goal is always to help clients replace addictive secrecy with healthy, nurturing pursuits; to rediscover and reclaim their true and original ‘self
Episode 7: Super Empowered Sex Work
In this episode we talk to the radical badass that is Antonia Crane: Author, Activist, Stripper, Professor. We discuss her journey of personal, creative and political evolution into and throughout sobriety via sex work, and how she finds a powerfully honest, joyful, authentic connection in stripping and working as a pro-domme. Her awesome memoir ‘Spent’ is now available everywhere.
Social media @antoniacrane soldiersofpole.com
Episode 6: LEWIS G BURTON: FREEDOM FROM SHAME !
We chat with artist/performer/activist Lewis G Burton about their ongoing evolution, freedom from shame, creating community and (of course) sober sex !
@lewisgburton and @inferno_london
Episode 5: NOT Dragon Stone with DJ Gina Turner
DJ (etc., etc., etc.) Gina Turner returns to talk about her recent miscarriage, take us through a non-dual shamanic meditation practice, discuss trauma bonding, celebrities we'd have sex with and 'lightning bolts vs butterflies'.
Show notes (as promised, finally):
sacred lotus yoni steam - pleasure wands or yoni steam herb packages https://www.sacredlotusyonisteam.com/
nature speak / animal speak by ted andrews
the non-dual shaman by jason shulman
Episode 4: Sexy Tigers with DJ Gina Turner (Part 1)
Mom/DJ/Yoga Instructor/Radio Broadcaster/Music Producer/Creator/Healer (among about ten billion other things, INCLUDING Louisahhh's former musical partner as 'Staccato'), the illustrious Gina Turner joins us! We scream-laugh for the duration, and touch upon topics such as 'what is a twin flame?', the necessity of a non-doula, are vibrators killing us, (blood sugar) sex magik.
Episode 3: Cindi Roberts, Sober Sexpert
We sit down with Cindi Roberts (Sober Sexpert, Certified Recovery Coach, Sexual Health & Wellness Educator, Speaker Trainer, Former Sexuality Education Expert at Pure Romance & Slumber Parties) and discuss her journey in terms of both career and recovery. An honest and insightful conversation about social messages around sex and shame, and what changes when we get sober.
Episode 2: Be Your Own Best Girl. Sabrina Rosalita Westmoreland
Sabrina Rosalita Westmoreland is a multi disciplinary artist, word witch, poet and photographer. We talk about about evolution with her sexuality, sex work, kink, tackling the shame spiral and connection to source 🖤Find her work: https://www.sabrinarosalita.com/
Episode 1. Your hosts LOUISAHHH! and Rose Romain
Sober Sex is a podcast focusing on conversations about what self integrity, spirituality and personal evolution look like for different people as we learn to be and accept ourselves intimately and sexually. Hosted by LOUISAHHH! Dj, Singer, Songwriter and co- founder of the label RAAR and is professionally known and often referred to as Queen of French Techno and Rose Romain Certified professional recovery coach, She Recovers Coach, Actor, Voice Actor and Playwright.