SOBER SEX

Lael Atkinson is a certified professional recovery coach who works at the intersection of drinking and dieting.  During their experience of parting ways with alcohol and then tackling a lifetime of dieting, disordered eating and body shame, they found limited resources that addressed this frequent overlap of ‘shrinking and drinking’.  This led Lael to create a course and to specialize in supporting clients who want to examine their relationship with alcohol and divest from diet. Culture.  We are thrilled to welcome Lael to Sober Sex. 

https://learning.beyondshrinkinganddrinking.com/courses/BSD

https://www.laelatkinson.com/

Rae McDaniel is a non-binary therapist, certified sex therapist, transgender diversity and inclusion educator, speaker and author of ‘Gender Magic’.  They are the founder and CEO of Practical Audacity, a gender and sex therapy practice based in Chicago, and an international advocate for gender freedom.  We are thrilled to welcome Rae to the show today. 

You can find more about Rae and their awesome work at https://www.gendermagic.com/ and https://rae-mcdaniel.com/

Jessi Kneeland is a queer + nonbinary writer, speaker and body neutrality coach.  On June 6th, their book ‘Body Neutral, A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues’ was published.  This is Jessi’s second time on Sober Sex and we are so happy to welcome them back.  

Tamsin Embleton is an attachment based psychotherapist and the director of the Music Industry Therapist’s Collective (MITC).  She has worked as a music promoter, tour manager and artist manager for ten years prior to shifting her focus to therapy, and she has recently published ‘ Touring and Mental Health: the Music Industry Manual’.  It is a delight to welcome Tamsin to chat with us on Sober Sex!

Meenadchi has over 10 years of experience in trauma and crisis stabilization.  She is the author of ‘Decolonizing Nonviolent Communication’ and is a family constellation therapist, working to help clients release intergenerational baggage and discover (or rediscover) a sense of purpose, sovereignty and motivation for doing good work in the world.  I am delighted to welcome Meenadchi to Sober Sex.  

LIL TEXAS is a dj and musician known as ‘the kink daddy of American Hardcore. Here for the underdogs, the outcasts and black sheep of dance music, Lil Texas is also clean and sober, and we are thrilled to discuss all of this and more today on Sober Sex.

To learn more, check out https://www.instagram.com/liltexas/

Margeaux Feldman is a writer, educator and community builder committed to providing folks living with trauma opportunities to build connection. Margeaux is an academic who has left the institution to focus on aligning with their core values of compassion, curiosity, accountability and emergence.  Margeaux is also the sweet genius behind glorious instagram account @softcore_trauma.  Welcome, Margeaux, to Sober Sex.  

Trigger Warning: Rape

Adam Ficek is a psychotherapist, counselor and renowned musician and DJ based in London.  He is a member of the band Baby Shambles and a solo artist, and he works with the NHS, BAPAM, Help Musicians and Tonic Music specializing in working with musicians and treating addiction disorders.  He is currently finishing his doctoral studies on musicians and mental health. 

Luke Jenner is best known for his work with the celebrated dance-rock band The Rapture and his captivating music as a solo artist. He is also a visual artist and a certified life coach, and a father and husband in long term recovery. This episode talks about his journey to this point, through music and love and parenthood.

Find out more about Luke at @MrLukeJenner on all socials.

Erika Moen is a queer cartoonist based in Portland, Oregon.  With over two decades in the comics industry, she has co-created the sex positive series ‘Oh Joy Sex Toy’ and the sex nd relationship book for teens ‘Let’s Talk About it’ with her husband Matthew Nolan.  Erika is a frequent guest on Dan Savage’s beloved Savage Lovecast and is currently or king on her autobiographical graphic novel about mental health You can find Erika and her work at Patreon.com/erikamoen

Paul Leroy is relentlessly creative.  Former big deal musical director at numerous large hotels across the US, now big deal crypto guy and blossoming filmmaker based in France, Paul has been in the process of doing deep work healing from trauma and recovering on a profound and powerful level. We are thrilled to talk about all of this and more today on Sober Sex.  

Romy Hoffman is an Australian artist, producer, songwriter and DJ based in LA.  She fronts an all girl post-punk band called ‘Agender’, runs her own label, ‘Climax’ and throws celebrated parties HOMOCCULT and and Lez Croix.  She also makes visual art.  She is a powerhouse of fierce creativity and we are delighted to welcome her to Sober Sex today.

Super quick check in on NEW THEME SONG, hosty (singular), our openness to feedback on some but not all things and just seeing what's good!

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episode cover photo by @sabrinawestmoreland 

Mumu is a singer, songwriter, actor, musician, feminist and dear friend. Her strong political viewpoints and advocacy are evident in her lyrics and music videos, as is her personal experience with everything from addiction and mental illness to sexuality, embodiment and pleasure. We are delighted to welcome Mumu to Sober Sex!

@musicofmumu

Brandon O'Connell is an old friend, and after a long history struggling with addiction, incarceration and homelessness, Brandon has now been clean and sober since 2017, and has made altruism a way of life, working with Vantage Point in LA and San Diego to help people post-incarceration and those struggling with addiction.  In addition, Brandon has a podcast called 'Trashcan Talk' which you can check out on all streaming platforms 

@trashcancut

With us today is Courtney Wittich, formerly of C.Wittich media, now of being a liberated queen of vision, creativity, adventures and generally a good life.  Courtney is a dream guest because we talk about her often (as a beacon of delight and general ray of sunshine) and we are ecstatic to introduce one of our very favorite people to the Sober Sex audience.  On this episode we discuss life changing magic of 'The Artist's Way', butt rashes, miraculous romance and how to have a good attitude in even the most trying circumstance.  

TW: there is brief mention of sexual assault, if you're not feeling up to hearing about that today, perhaps skip this episode.  

Kate Marlene is an American author, podcaster and artist living in Berlin. She is also a narrative therapist and social justice advocate, focused on individual and community healing.  In this episode we discussed her journey into recovery and through motherhood and divorce as a sober woman, what reinvention looks like in recovery and how embracing femme has felt for her.  While there were some technical difficulties, we think we took care of them in the edit and that this episode is a great time! You can learn more about Kate from her awesome podcast, 'About Face', available on all platforms 

Mandy Manners is a habit change & well-being specialist and a coach who helps women heal & thrive in their lives, sobriety, wellness and beyond.  She is an author, speaker & professional trainer who uses her own story to break down stigma and raise awareness of the interconnection between mental ill health, trauma, identity and addiction.  In this conversation we laugh a lot and talk frankly about the hard parts of recovery, parenting, partnering and more. 

#TriggerWarning: discussion of sexual trauma.  

Ego death … Connectivity.. Loneliness.. Brain farts… Struggling with pronouns.. Neuroplasticity…Parenthood.. Intimacy.. Nous 3. 

Louisa + Lily + Rose get real @fuckyeahsobersex

Em is the co-founder and editor in chief of the solutions journalism platform Everyday Grit and soon to be rebranded The Inspirer!! They started this platform out of frustration of the news only reporting on the problems that our world faces without telling the stories of the people who are dedicating their lives to finding solutions. They believe that if we knew what can be done, and saw examples of people doing it, we would all be more inspired to take action each at our own level to make our world better and safer for all of us!

They are queer, non-binary, polyamorous and many other things that don’t quite fit in traditional labels written out by normative society. And they are driven by the radical imagination of a world that can exist if we free ourselves of what we are told to be, by exploring and discovering who we are instead!

https://www.instagram.com/everyday.grit/

https://www.instagram.com/emm.barre/

Maé is a French American print maker and ceramicist currently residing in Paris, France.
Her work touches on subjects such as sexuality and spirituality and uncomfortable things like shame and trauma.
She is finishing her masters this year and (hopefully) publishing her book soon on Japanese rope bondage as a radical act of relational humanity

INSTA: maewithan.e

In this episode, we welcome Rose back from maternity leave and focus on evolution and intimacy.  There is laughter and tears (per usual) and talk of motherhood, creativity, putting in work, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Lisa Simpson.  A great time is had by all; won't you join us? 

Tadeo Ilarde is a student getting his masters in Human Rights, specializing in Migration at one of Paris’ most esteemed universities.

We discuss the difference between sex work and sex trafficking and which populations tend to slip through the cracks even when governments are progressive in their legislation around sex.

Additionally, we learn about Tadeo’s incredible story and personal migration through different cultures, addictions and ultimately what his recovery looks like today. This is an informative, entertaining and tender episode with one of our new most favorite people.

Heather Hayes is the founder and CEO of Heather R. Hayes & Associates, Inc. She is a Master’s level Licensed Counselor,

Board Registered Interventionist (CIP) and Certified ARISE Interventionist. Ms. Hayes earned her B.A. from Emory University

and her M.Ed. from Antioch University in Counseling Psychology. A veteran of the behavioral health field, Heather has over

35 years of experience treating clients with complex mental health issues and the full spectrum of addictive disorders. She

has also worked with clients of all ages and specializes in the treatment of adolescents/young adults, trauma, behavioral

issues and eating disorders.

Known as one of the country’s most prominent authorities on these topics, Ms. Hayes is a coveted speaker on the national

and international stage, is widely-recognized for her comprehensive and trauma-informed approach to intervention, and

has been published in numerous journals, books, and other industry publications. Ms. Hayes also serves as an on-air expert

and consultant for CNN and Dr. Oz and has been featured on A&E, ABC, CBS, BBC, FOX, MTV and NBC. In addition, Ms.

Hayes is a featured interventionist on the 2018 & 2019 seasons of A&E’s high-profile show Intervention.

Throughout her career, Ms. Hayes has been a lifeline for clients at their most profound points of suffering. She offers

clients and their families a safe haven as they navigate the recovery journey and works with the entire family system to

support long-term, sustainable healing.

As an independent interventionist and a staunch proponent of professional ethics, Ms. Hayes does not have financial

relationships with any treatment centers or clinicians. Over 95% of her interventions have successfully ended with the

subject agreeing to treatment.

Outside of work, Heather uses her expertise to give back to her community by volunteering as the psychological profiler with

the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Department Hostage Negotiation and SWAT Team.

We are so thrilled to welcome Heather to the show.  This episode is emotional and honest and it was such a special opportunity to talk to her days before she celebrated her 40th year clean and sober, and to think about what's transpired in the 15 years since we've known Heather.  In some ways, Sober Sex is a direct result of Heather Hayes' powerful work (a successful intervention).  If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction of any kind and an intervention is necessary, don't hesitate to check out Heather's work at heatherhayes.com

In this episode we review  exciting highlights of the past year and discuss our aspirations moving forward with the podcast and in life, in addition to our fears, desires and silly dogs.  

Jessica Lahey is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont, and serves as a prevention and recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, is a book critic for Air Mail, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee for her Creative Nonfiction magazine essay, “I’ve Taught Monsters.” Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast with bestselling authors KJ Dell’Antonia and Sarina Bowen, and lives in Vermont with her husband, two sons, and a lot of dogs. 

On this episode, we are truly thrilled to welcome multi-talented genius Jessica Lahey to chat with us about parenting, how drugs and alcohol affect brain development, what getting sober many years into a marriage looks like.   On this episode it's Louisa flying solo as host as Lily and Rose had last minute emergencies but this is a great chat nonetheless! 

Francesca Ayala is a multi talented event producer, comedian, author and force of love and inclusivity in the world.  In this  episode, we discuss the therapeutic properties of comedy, cultural diversity in recovery and Fran's journey into sobriety during the pandemic.  We are delighted to get to know her better on Sober Sex! 

TW: Early Childhood Sexual Trauma (not explicit, but the existence of this is discussed).  

Brandon Rice is a person with an impressive and varied resume across numerous different fields.  Louisa and Brandon met on a rave cruise where he was acting as tour manager around 2016 and since then he’s been A & R for a rad indie label, worked with the midnight mission in DTLA and is presently getting his masters degree in psychology.  This episode is very 12-step oriented, but also contains a lot of wisdom and humor around issues spirituality, sexuality and mental health.  We hope you check it out and enjoy it.  

On this week’s episode we talk with comedian and author Rebecca Rush.  Enlightening, hilarious and a well of sex majik and deep wisdom, this conversation is a true delight.  We discuss how escorting can be a healthy choice for self empowerment and financial security, laughing with others about the things we are ashamed with is the path to freedom, self-poly, Succession and so much more.  Check it out!

Alex2tone is a powerful truth angel, in addition to being the design director of LA-based street wear brand ‘Born x Raised’, graffiti artist, tattooer, film director and general creative force.  He describes his evolving work to be characterized by ‘strange realness’ and a ‘trashy streak’.  Whatever it is that ties the multi-hyphens of 2tone’s glorious aesthetic universe together, it’s working and we are delighted to talk to him today on Sober Sex.

Amber (she/her) is a menstrual cycle coach and educator, equality warrior, as well an aspiring social scientist. Amber's main vision is decolonizing the menstrual cycle experience, helping menstruators to experience transformational menstrual embodiment through education and holistic healing, however that may look for feel for them.  This conversation is revealing, empowering and enlightening, and we love Amber whole-heartedly! May you love this episode as much as we do.  

Loz McQ, otherwise known as ‘@brutalrecovery’, discusses making light from pain through laughter, pre-sobriety ‘disassociative sex mission’ and the indomitable spirit of recovery. We loved recording this funny, profound and enlightening episode, we hope you love listening to it. Check out Loz’s memes (and general incredible magic) at @brtualrecovery on instagram or patreon.com/brutalrecovery.

Reading List:

-The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

-The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

-I Love Pussy, A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer

-Animal by Lisa Taddeo

Brooke Randolph is the founder of ’ Sober and Hungry’. She is a certified nutritionist and life coach who aims to help clients find holistic resilience and well-being, with a curriculum tailored to create lasting change.  More specifically, she works with 12-step oriented healing around food and body issues. It is a delight to talk to her on this episode of Sober Sex.

Max B aka fucking sober is one of the funniest people on the internet, especially when it comes to the hilariously painful joys and struggles of early recovery.  While remaining largely anonymous, Max is kind enough to chat with us here on sober sex about sober sex, of course, but also, sober fatherhood, sober partnership, NOT being sober while in active alcoholism and what it’s like to be simultaneously internet famous and anonymous. 

Warning: If you're sensitive to awkward pauses in conversation, something weird was going on with our internet so we either had giant lags or talked over each other for most of the show.  We tried to fix this in editing but be warned! Otherwise this is a great conversation.