The Springs in the Desert Podcast: Catholic Accompaniment Through Infertility

Cassandra and Jillian chat with Mary Bruno all about Spiritual Motherhood and how to cultivate it. They discuss that because infertility exists, we can be confident that God has entrusted us with many avenues in which to be fruitful. Through discernment and our daily “yes,” spiritual motherhood and fatherhood make God’s love tangible to those around us in an abundance of ways!

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Our Desert Reflection this week deals with the timely topic of gratitude. As we are about to sit down at the Thanksgiving table, it's an appropriate time to consider the feelings of gratitude we may sometimes struggle to cultivate during a season of infertility. Ann and Cassi help renew our perspective on gratefulness and offer practical suggestions so we can go from rotely listing our blessings to really experiencing the joy of gratitude deep within our hearts.

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Are you praying in desperation? Do you wonder why it seems God is answering everyone else's prayers except your own? Fr. Paul shares his wisdom regarding prayer with Ann and Jillian on this week's desert reflection. We are importantly reminded that God always answers our prayers though not always how we had envisioned or in our timing. But it's always better than what we had in mind!

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What does being okay with being okay look like in a season of infertility? Ann and Cassi share how it's possible to grieve your infertility while also experiencing deep joy and surrender. It doesn't mean that you don't have your hard days, but rather, that you can still enjoy an abiding peace all while knowing God is working everything out for your good.

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Have you been thinking about adoption? Not sure where to start? It's normal to have a lot of questions and maybe even some fear. Cassandra chats with Catholic writer, Emily Stimpson Chapman, and one of the Springs founders, Kimberly Henkel, and picks their brains on all things adoption. If you feel like God might be calling you to adopt, you'll want to listen in!

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In today's episode, Ann and Jillian invite special guest, Victoria Cerise, back on the show to discuss a deeply personal and difficult topic, grieving a miscarriage. Victoria generously shares her story of loss and offers healthy suggestions on how to journey through the grief that often accompanies miscarriage. They discuss the difficulties that even this community can face in comparing the crosses we carry, but they share ideas of ways to lighten the cross for each other.

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This week Cassandra and Ann welcome special guest and licensed counselor, Clare Kane, to the podcast. The women discuss processing the transition into menopause and where it intersects with the experience of infertility. Clare shares some of her story and gives encouragement to those walking this path into a new horizon of life and marriage.

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We welcome back Jamie Rathjen of the Fiat Institute this week to discuss a deeply personal topic to her, miscarriage. Jamie shares with Jillian and Christina her own story of loss and its physical, emotional, and spiritual effects on her. Although a heavy cross, we see through Jamie's story God working all things for the good for those who love Him.

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For our Desert Reflection this week, Jillian welcomes back licensed counselor, Edward Luersman, on the podcast. The topic of discussion is on grief and how it can manifest itself during infertility. It is completely acceptable and healthy to grieve your infertility, and Edward gives our listeners some practical tips on how to process that grief.

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On the podcast this week, we welcome Theresa from The Loveliest Masterpiece. Theresa shares with Springs team members, Jillian and Cassi, her story of infertility, miscarriage, and hope. Just like no two women's infertility journey's are the same, Theresa talks about the multiple crosses of infertility and loss she has carried. She also talks about her ministry called, The Loveliest Masterpiece, which creates specially curated gift boxes for women in various places on the path of motherhood. Theresa reminds us that by sharing our stories, we can bring healing to our lives and to others'.

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We hear this concept thrown around often in the Catholic sphere, but what does it really mean, to live liturgically? Cassandra and Ann welcome special guest, Steffani Aquila, from His Girl Sunday, to discuss this topic. Steffani gives some great ideas on how to start living liturgically if we've never done so before, or new ideas to try if it's something with which we're already familiar. She reminds us living liturgically is not something only families with children can do, but that it's a gift for everyone, adults most definitely included!

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In today's Desert Reflection, Ann and Fr. Paul explore the lives of Saints Joachim and Anna, the Virgin Mary's parents. Since these saints are the patrons of Springs in the Desert, it's only fitting we get to know them and learn from them, especially how they carried their cross of infertility. These saints are perfect role models of how to grow in holiness, even in times of great trial.

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Jillian and Christina welcome Edward Luersman to today's episode. Edward is a Springs in the Desert contributor and licensed professional counselor whose focus includes infertility, miscarriage, and their associated grief. He begins by sharing about some of the common feelings and experiences he sees in his practice among people struggling with infertility or loss. Then he discusses how we might often see God the Father through the lens of our earthly father, which can lead to a misunderstanding about who God the Father really is. Our human relationships are imperfect, and our earthly fathers fall short and even disappoint us. But God is our eternal, loving Father, whose arms are always open to us.

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During a season of infertility, going to Confession can be difficult. Maybe we've been hurt by insensitive advice in the past from a confessor. Or maybe, we've never had a correct understanding of Confession. Father Paul West chats with Ann about how to reframe our understanding of Confession to more easily and frequently approach the Lord's Mercy. 

In the second of two episodes recorded with special guest Victoria Cerise, we dive into what marriage prep didn't prepare us for and how we can help enhance it for future couples. A lot of good comes from Catholic diocesan marriage prep courses, however, preparing a couple for the cross of infertility is most often not part of the discussion. Listen in for ways that dioceses and parishes can open up conversations around infertility in marriage prep, and consider offering these suggestions and the tools available from Springs in the Desert to your diocesan Family Life director or pastor! 

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Being active in parish life can be a struggle when you are longing for a child. Your parish is supposed to be your family, a place of rest in the Lord and fellowship, but when you are in a season of infertility, that same place can feel very isolating. This Desert Reflection reminds you that your parish needs you, because you have gifts that no one else has. Your marriage is essential to building up the Kingdom of Heaven, starting right in your parish. Stacey and Ann offer some practical suggestions for using your gifts, and we invite you to share with us any creative ways you have found to serve your parish. They may be helpful ideas for others to try! 

This week Jillian and Ann welcome special guest Chris O'Neill, Director of Marriage and Family Life for the Archdiocese of New Orleans. Chris not only speaks to the reality of the suffering of infertility, but the important role those struggling with it play in the Church. Chris draws from the wisdom he gained from his formation at the John Paul II Institute, his own personal experience, and his growing understanding of the struggle and potential fruitfulness of this cross through ministering in the Archdiocese. The path of infertility can feel like a lonely walk, but this conversation encourages those on the path to know that the Church sees them and is walking with them.

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The Springs in the Desert Team is on summer break - but we'll be back next week with another full length episode! Please enjoy this replay episode on focusing on Christ, not conception. This is an important reminder for all of us as we walk the path of infertility, but especially as we deal with decisions regarding treatment and charting our cycle (it is NFP Awareness Week, after all!)

Jillian and Christina discuss the idea of hope and how—even through ups and downs, and when the desires and dreams in life don't turn out the way we envisioned—we have the certainty of our "Great Hope" in Christ. Let's anchor our hope in Him today as we continue to walk this path together!

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In this first of two episodes, Jillian and Cassandra visit with special guest Mary Bruno. Mary shares her own personal infertility story, and the fruit that has come from that suffering.  She also talks about Twelve Stripes Deep, the book she wrote detailing her story, and her non-profit dedicated to fertility awareness. Mary's story is real and honest, and ultimately inspiring!

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In this fun episode, Jillian hosts a returning guest, Natalie Blackford, to talk about her experiences with low-toxin living for overall better health. Natalie has a real passion for living more naturally and with great enthusiasm she shares some helpful tips and tricks to get rid of toxins in your life. This episode is not meant to be intimidating or cause stress (even small changes can often make us feel better!), but for those who want to learn more about this way of life, you won't be disappointed listening to Natalie's suggestions!

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Our special guest this week is Jamie Rathjen, founder of the Fiat Institute, a program which trains women across the U.S. to become hormone coaches. Her mission is to better help women understand their hormone health by offering suggestions for natural lifestyle changes that can help make a difference in their hormone health.  

For many of us on the path of infertility, charting feels like something we must do as a means to accomplish a goal. When charting feels forced—even exhausting—Jamie asks listeners to consider where we can find our "feminine genius" in the process. She reminds us that women are more than our "signs and symptoms," and that charting is a helpful tool, but it's just part of our health and infertility stories.

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Did you know that God lovingly and carefully picked your cross for you? Jillian and Alissa talk with Dr. Megan Reister about this idea of God as a carpenter, chiseling away in His workshop. No two crosses are the same, so we should never compare our cross with another person's. What gifts has the Lord hidden in your cross? Listen to this podcast to learn more and be inspired!

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In this light-hearted Desert Reflection, Jillian chats with Alissa West about listening to music as a means to foster healing. She touches into the science behind it as well as her background as a music therapist. They also compare the effectiveness of listening to religious vs. secular songs. Please let us know any of your go-to songs that have helped you on the path of infertility!

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Our special guest this week is speaker and author Elizabeth Kelly. Liz has written numerous books for women to help them realize God's beautiful plan for their lives even when things seem to be going off the rails. Though they only scratch the surface of her books, Jillian and Ann's conversation with Liz explores the goodness of our desires, learning to surrender them to God, and trusting in the healing and fulfillment that God will bring into our brokenness. Liz will draw you in with her gentleness and sincerity as she speaks to the heart of each listener with comforting words of wisdom.

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Today on the podcast, we welcome Fr. Paul West to teach and encourage us how to pray—especially when we don't feel like it or are in a season of dryness. He gives advice on the best time to pray, where we should pray, and especially how we can pray. After listening to this podcast, you'll feel motivated and inspired to put your phone and other distractions away and just show up to listen and talk to God because He has much to tell us! 

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Our special guest this week is Victoria Cerise, a Catholic wedding photographer who travels all over the United States capturing photos for weddings and other special occasions. Jillian and Ann chat with her about her work and the many opportunities for fruitfulness she finds in it. Victoria also invites us to remember that, even for those in a season of infertility, there is so much in life to celebrate! She shares some great ideas for documenting our marriages, times with family and friends, and capturing special memories with a photo session. Please visit her website below to check out her phenomenal work!

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In this Desert Reflection, Jillian and Cassandra discuss the pros and cons of social media use. There are many wonderful things about social media, however, most of us are aware of the damage social media can do to our mental and emotional health. You'll hear some practical advice on how to use social media in a healthy and balanced way, such as setting app limits and turning off notifications. Listen to hear some more tips!

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What is Springs of Love? Jillian and Ann talk with Kimberly Henkel about the sister ministry she started that helps couples discern foster care and adoption. Don't miss the beginning of the episode for a great discussion on spiritual motherhood and the importance of grieving infertility while in the process of discernment. If you feel called to foster care or adoption or are just curious about what that looks like, you'll want to listen in and hear some remarkable stories that Kimberly shares.

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During a season of infertility, Mother's Day can be the hardest day of the year. Jillian and Ann give some great advice on how and why you can celebrate this day too. If you're feeling anxious or sad, ask the Blessed Mother to hold your hand. She understands this is can be a very difficult day. Also, remember that your community at Springs in the Desert is holding your hand too and is standing with you.

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Jillian sits down with Dr. Megan Reister and Alissa West to listen to their personal stories of walking the path of secondary infertility. This conversation reminds us that there are all different types of infertility and no two paths are identical. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a physical community of friends in your area who understand how you're feeling or the place you're in. That's why Springs in the Desert was created! We want to remind you that this community is for you: you do belong here!

Prayer:

O Lord, I come to you with a gracious heart for trusting me with the souls of your children. Help me to be a worthy example of faithfulness, love, and trust in You. Let me never take for granted how precious their lives are. Let me never forget the intense longing felt while navigating the waters of infertility, or the elation and relief upon their birth. Help me to be a gentle, patient, and understanding mother, remembering that each day with them is a gift.

Lord, as I navigate through the waters of motherhood, I find myself between two worlds of women: those still experiencing infertility, and those who have borne children. I can't help but feel guilty as though I've left the first group behind, while simultaneously feeling misunderstood in the latter group as I carry the scars of infertility; scars that most mothers don't fully understand.  

I pray that those still longing for motherhood find fruitfulness in all the gifts You bestow them. I pray that those women with effortless fertility find wonder and awe in the miracle of life. I pray that those who find themselves in between find camaraderie among all women. I pray that women find their place in Your glory no matter their circumstance—infertile, fertile, and anywhere in between. 

Amen.

Jillian and Cassandra talk about three important steps you can take to help advocate for those carrying the cross of infertility. Don't be scared! It can be as easy as sending an email! We invite you to listen, pray, and discern what steps you can take to help increase knowledge of infertility in your family, community, or parish. If we all do something little, it can make a huge impact!

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We've all had it happen. A family member or friend asks us a sensitive question or gives advice regarding our struggle with infertility that comes across as unkind and hurtful. Jillian and Ann sit down and discuss practical and charitable ways to handle these situations. Most people don't realize their comments are insensitive—and really, they just care about us. Remember they are carrying a cross too, so just as we should be gentle with ourselves, let's be gentle with others.

Please let us know any tips or responses you've used when someone makes an unkind remark. We'd love to hear!

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This episode contains sensitive topics, so we invite you to listen with care. 

Becoming pregnant after losing one or more children to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss can be a very joyful yet anxious time. Jillian, Ann, and Cassandra talk about the various emotions that come along with a pregnancy after experiencing the trauma of loss in the past. They discuss the fact that a new baby doesn't remove all of the grief from the past nor replace other children who were not able to be carried to term. Also, they give advice on how to stay positive and hopeful during a new pregnancy.

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In this Desert Reflection, Jillian and Christina sit down to discuss the importance of keeping our focus on Christ as we travel the path of infertility. They discuss the idea of hope and how—even through ups and downs, and when the desires and dreams in life don't turn out the way we envisioned—we have the certainty of our "Great Hope" in Christ. Let's anchor our hope in Him today as we continue to walk this path together!

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With the Solemnity of St. Joseph occurring during the month of March, we ponder the life of this holy man and what he teaches us about being a holy spouse. He has much to show us during a season of infertility, given the unique ways men and women were created and their unique ways of grieving and problem solving. We also discuss some of the history of St. Joseph and ways to celebrate and venerate him. St. Joseph, Comfort of the Sorrowing, pray for us!

In the third of a three-part Lenten miniseries, Jillian and Ann discuss the third pillar of Lent, almsgiving. Many people give money or material goods to the poor.  Jillian and Ann discuss other ways of doing justice pleasing to God.  Some examples include gifts of our time, skills, kind words, or prayers.  Tune in as they dig deeper into each one with concrete examples you may want to try!

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This podcast episode features practical ideas on how to help ease the burden of those suffering from infertility.  Ann, Jillian, and Christina share personal stories of people ministering to them and how they've helped others who are struggling.  

This is a great episode for any family members or friends of someone carrying the burden of infertility who want some concrete advice on how they can help.  Or, if you are in a place where you feel called and able to lend a helping hand, please listen in and let us know what you think!

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It's Ash Wednesday and Lent has begun!  Do you every ask yourself why we do what we do during Lent?  Father Paul speaks with Ann and Jillian and explains where some of our Lenten penitential practices come from and the reason behind why we partake of them during this season.  This episode will surely give you a great start to these next 40 days!

In the first of a three part Lenten miniseries, Jillian and Ann sit down and discuss their prayer preparations for this penitential season. Sometimes the most fruitful prayer plans aren't complicated, rather simple, heartfelt and deeply sincere. But the first and most important step is to ask God what He desires of our prayer life this Lent.  Let us know what your prayer plans are!

This week's episode deals with pregnancy after a long period of infertility, and we know how sensitive this topic may be for some of you. Please listen with care, and know that we're here to walk with and support you. Team member, Stacey, talks with Ann and Cassandra about the range of emotions she faced when finding out she was pregnant after years of trying to conceive.  With great vulnerability and honesty the three friends discuss what it's like when a friend is blessed with a pregnancy, while you continue struggling with infertility. They get honest about how the friendship dynamic changes, and how to navigate it with sensitivity, compassion, and love.

Dr. Marie Meaney is back again this week with Ann and Cassandra to focus the conversation around the sensitive topic of artificial reproductive technologies (ART) and what the Church teaches in this area. They dig into the reasoning behind these teachings, recognizing that God's law is not always easy to follow but that it's there for our ultimate good as well as our health and happiness.

Resources:  When Expecting Doesn't Happen: Turning Infertility into a Journey of Hope by: Dr. Marie Meany

In this Desert Reflection, Ann and Cassandra have a little fun talking about two words that came out of the Word of the Year generator, the words "witness" and "ask," and how those words can be applied in their personal lives and in this ministry. For example, are our words and actions a good "witness" to our faith in Him? Are we humble enough to "ask" people to pray for us?  Try the Word of the Year generator, and see what word can challenge you to live as a closer disciple of Jesus.

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It seems like everyone has made a New Year's resolution at some point.  Some people succeed at keeping them through the year, but for the majority of us, they tend to fizzle out.  In this week's episode, Jillian, Ann and Cassandra discuss reasons humans are wired to make resolutions and the emotions that come when we don't meet our own expectations.  They draw similarities between this and the adventure of the spiritual life as well as the 'goals' we set in our unique fertility journeys.

Our very special guest this week is Dr. Marie Meaney, a philosopher, academic -  and a wife who knows well the isolation and suffering of infertility.  She joins Ann and Cassandra to discuss her book, "When Expecting Doesn't Happen: Turning Infertility into a Journey of Hope."  Dr. Meaney speaks with the eloquent and thoughtful words of a highly experienced and respected academic but with such sincerity and tenderness it'll feel as if she's speaking just to you.  Please don't miss out!

Resources: When Expecting Doesn't Happen: Turning Infertility into a Journey of Hope by: Dr. Marie Meany

Infertility comes up often in movies and TV shows.  For this week's podcast, Allie and Cassandra chat with Sydnee Blackburn about some of these specific movies and shows.  They discuss the good, the bad and the ugly of how infertility and loss are portrayed and dealt with.  If there's anything you've watched that you think does a great job in portraying infertility or maybe doesn't do a good job of it, we'd love to hear from you, so please drop a comment in the chat or on our social media page.