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Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

Stewart Pink on The Poetry Podcast

By Stewart Pink

Home of the witty ditty. Each episode features an original poem inspired by something that has caught my eye or captured my imagination. To support this podcast you can purchase my ebook “Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection” on the Amazon Kindle store, all proceeds go towards keeping this podcast alive!
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The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg

Stewart Pink on The Poetry PodcastApr 20, 2022

00:00
04:24
Any chance you'd do me a review?

Any chance you'd do me a review?

After releasing my second poetry anthology "Also In The News" I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who bought it. After landing at the top of the Amazon charts I thought I'd tell the story of what happened after the release in rhyme! You can still get your copy of the book at www.stewartpink.com.
Sep 29, 202204:15
Holy Cramp

Holy Cramp

You know when you wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like a shark has bitten your leg? Well it happened to me... and then I wrote this.
Aug 15, 202203:35
They Brought It Home

They Brought It Home

Inspired by the lionesses incredible performance both on and off the pitch during the European Championships I wanted to capture the the jubilation across the nation today and wrote a witty ditty called They Brought It Home” followed a cheeky musical montage featuring the lionesses singing at yesterday’s press conference!
Aug 01, 202203:33
The Three Second Rule

The Three Second Rule

Has the cost of living crisis got you down? Don't worry, I've solved it... 
Jul 27, 202202:49
I Wish I Had The Moves

I Wish I Had The Moves

I love music and I love hitting the dance floor too. The only trouble is; I'm a terrible dancer. 
May 23, 202203:34
The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg

The World's Oldest Chocolate Egg

Inspired by the true story of 80 year old June, proud owner of the world's oldest chocolate egg, bought by her brother when she was 7 years old... in 1949!
Apr 20, 202204:24
Selby Leisure Centre

Selby Leisure Centre

Inspired by the true story of a man bestowed the honour of naming Selby's new leisure centre...
Apr 17, 202204:29
World's Richest Twit

World's Richest Twit

A witty ditty about a twitty
Apr 15, 202202:05
The Fray Bentos Classic

The Fray Bentos Classic

This poem is inspired by a true story from a friend of the show who recently faced that impossible challenge of trying to get into a Fray Bentos Pie that ultimately ended in broken power tools and shattered dreams/pastry!
Apr 05, 202205:32
I've Got It In Abundance (Mum)

I've Got It In Abundance (Mum)

In this special edition my mum joined the show to make an exciting radio debut and share a little unexpected positivity and a poem she wrote inspired by a recent positive experience!
Mar 25, 202206:26
Rod Stewart's Sandbags & Gladrags

Rod Stewart's Sandbags & Gladrags

This week, Rod Stewart was photographed filling the pot holes down his road so he could drive his Ferrari again. Inspired by, in homage to and entirely in honour of Sir Rod's heroic pot hole filling exploits I wrote this one in the hope he might fill a few more... I have a list, Rod. Hit me up.
Mar 18, 202203:54
Southend City

Southend City

Recorded from my home in Southend and to celebrate Southend's new city status. This one's less witty and rather from the heart....  "A city built on kindness, by the people of Southend, lovingly acknowledged, as the nation’s seaside friend."
Mar 02, 202204:06
Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy by Serena De Lastic

Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy by Serena De Lastic

This edition features paramedic, mother and all-round superhero Serena De Lastic. Inspired by her patients, family and her own experience of working through the pandemic as a paramedic and in vaccination clinics, Serena has written a poem and short story. Witchy Poos and the Covid Fairy is a short illustrated story to help children with any anxieties and questions they may have around getting a vaccine.  You can hear more about the book in a full interview with Serena on my "Now You're Talking" podcast. To support Serena in publishing and getting more copies of this book into schools click here to visit her Crowdfunding page. Illustrations by Fran Montgomerie.
Feb 24, 202205:58
The Stool Sample

The Stool Sample

Inspired by the many questions anyone else who's ever had to do a stool sample will undoubtedly have wrestled with. (Don't worry, it's all quite clean.)
Feb 13, 202203:22
Burns, He Was A Rockstar

Burns, He Was A Rockstar

In a special edition of the poetry podcast I shared a witty ditty about the bard and in honour of Burns Night two very special listeners also wrote their own poems too!
Jan 25, 202204:02
I'm Gonna Start Cooking Flash

I'm Gonna Start Cooking Flash

When it comes to cooking, I'm certainly no master chef. But since I've seen Jamie Oliver's mansion on tele I've started wishing I was!
Jan 23, 202203:40
No Vax Djokovic

No Vax Djokovic

The world's tennis number one has been causing a stir down under. I've changed his name for legal reasons so we'll call him No Vax Djokovic... but this is his story.
Jan 10, 202203:54
2021: Crappy And Happy

2021: Crappy And Happy

At this time of year it's good to look back at the last 12 months. From poetry competitions and publishing my first anthology to getting the Drivetime gig, being in a film and releasing a song; I'm lucky to have had a lot of little wins this year in spite of everything 2021 threw at us all. I hope this little ditty might inspire you to think about some of the events of your year and hopefully find a few things to be proud of, happy about and grateful for. Here's to an awesome, happy and healthy 2022!
Dec 31, 202105:48
Time Is An Illusion

Time Is An Illusion

A wise man once said "time is an illusion" - he was right. This instalment is for everyone else constantly chasing time and wondering how on earth you could possibly have lost an hour in what felt like 10 minutes. 
Nov 19, 202102:23
She's Started Carving Pumpkins

She's Started Carving Pumpkins

This little one is born from the fear of kids who enjoy the spirit of Halloween just a little too much!  (No little cousins were harmed during the making of this poem)
Nov 05, 202102:60
A Smell That Gets In Everywhere

A Smell That Gets In Everywhere

This instalment was brought on by a popular washing detergent advert in which a man produces a shirt with some rather questionable stains, proceeds to clean them all off effortlessly and claims that both he and his filthy shirt came out quite literally smelling of roses.
Oct 29, 202104:13
Warriors With Ink

Warriors With Ink

To celebrate #NationalPoetryDay I wrote a poem inspired by some of the other writers who have motivated me to write. I hope this will spark a little creativity in you and I would love to hear your poem!
Oct 07, 202102:41
Alvin Stardust and The Coo Ca Choo Climbing Frame

Alvin Stardust and The Coo Ca Choo Climbing Frame

This instalment of the poetry podcast features another Arts Programme Poetry Challenge courtesy of soul deva and singing vegan mum JBRose who has come up with the following elements… Alvin Stardust, Barbados and a Climbing Frame. Enjoy!
Sep 08, 202103:10
August 14, 2021

August 14, 2021

Aug 14, 202100:30
The Modern Merry Men

The Modern Merry Men

This instalment of the poetry podcast features a witty ditty based on recent reports of large numbers of nudist ramblers that have taken to roaming around Sherwood Forest; the modern merry men!
Aug 12, 202104:19
The Laughing Cow Of Doxey

The Laughing Cow Of Doxey

This instalment of the poetry podcast is based on a true story this week of the daring escape of a cow that somehow found it's way to the M6 motorway.
Aug 06, 202103:56
The Bishop Of Old Brentwood Town

The Bishop Of Old Brentwood Town

I tasked the regular listeners of Phoenix FM’s Arts Programme with a little poetry challenge. I asked for 3 things; a person, a place and an object which I promised to craft into a witty ditty and share it on the arts program. We ended up with a bishop from Brentwood in a balaclava and (naturally) I took a slightly different on angle on it with a bit of an unexpected twist. 
Jul 24, 202104:42
The Sky Is Not The Limit

The Sky Is Not The Limit

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features my thoughts on this week's headlines and ultimately begs the question, do we really need two billionaires in as many weeks rocketing themselves into space right now?
Jul 24, 202104:16
A "Poem Off" featuring Robert West

A "Poem Off" featuring Robert West

After a lovely interview with fellow Phoenix FM Presenter and Poet, Robert West we decided to have a go at a "poem off" - we weren't sure what would happen and listening back, I'm still not entirely sure what did happen! However, if you have been effected by any of the issues raised in these poems or if you would like to hear more about Rob's poetry book "Words, Words, Words" visit Phoenix FM.com or click here.
Jul 08, 202106:52
Football Fever

Football Fever

This week's instalment features a witty ditty celebrating England's big win against Germany earlier in the week and is a riff on the football fever sweeping across a post-covid Europe!
Jul 01, 202103:06
Somewhere In The Static

Somewhere In The Static

For some unknown reason my TV remote has been up to some bizarre new tricks that seem to defy all logic so this week's witty ditty is based on my infrared issues lurking somewhere in the static.
Jun 24, 202104:08
Bratwurst vs Cumberland

Bratwurst vs Cumberland

This witty ditty is inspired by the post-Brexit sausage war that seems to have bizarrely evolved from a trade regulation stand-off with Britains European neighbours on the import and export of cold meats. The victim? Sausages.
Jun 11, 202104:22
Beware The Curse of Sports Direct

Beware The Curse of Sports Direct

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a precautionary tale of my recent experience making an epic fail whilst online shopping. 
Jun 04, 202103:49
My Mum Has Just Got Spotify

My Mum Has Just Got Spotify

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features a witty ditty inspired by my mum’s recent exploits / battles trying to master the world of streaming. Not to give too much away but I’m not entirely sure she’s mastered all the controls yet!
May 27, 202104:55
Erquelinnes: Outrage At The Belgian Border

Erquelinnes: Outrage At The Belgian Border

This episode features the story of a Belgian farmer who caused international outrage after he accidentally shrunk France by 7 foot when he moved an ancient stone. (Sacre Bleu)
May 13, 202104:40
Boy Band Seeks New Members

Boy Band Seeks New Members

This instalment features a poem inspired by everything we love/hate about boy bands.
May 06, 202104:23
The Battle of Josh

The Battle of Josh

This week's poem is a homage to Josh. THE Josh. Winner of the Josh fight that saw over 100 guys named Josh battle it out with pool noodles to determine the one true Josh. You’ll never guess who won...
Apr 28, 202106:37
Sometimes The Old Ways Are The Best

Sometimes The Old Ways Are The Best

This instalment of The Poetry Podcast features 007’s housekeeper and childhood guardian, Kincade with a witty ditty on why sometimes the old ways are the best.
Apr 09, 202105:15
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga

Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga

This week, to celebrate a whole week since the release of Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection I'm sharing my favourite poem from the book in solidarity with the forgotten victim of social distancing: the conga. For more poems and details about the book visit www.stewartpink.com
Apr 02, 202105:07
Ship Out Of Water: Trouble On The Nile

Ship Out Of Water: Trouble On The Nile

This week's witty ditty features the incredible tale of one man’s monumental mistake that destroyed 12% of the world’s trade… in a ship.
Mar 25, 202106:02
The Going Of Cummings

The Going Of Cummings

This week there’s breaking news of a new ebook derived from The Poetry Podcast! Pandemic Poetry: The Covid Collection is coming soon – check back here next week for more details. In preparation, this week’s poem covers the one remaining piece of the Coronavirus puzzle I haven’t written about yet – the story of one man and his quest for good eyesight.
Mar 11, 202105:17
Tron Gets 3 Points

Tron Gets 3 Points

After Gary & his daughter Jess’ kind words about The Poetry Podcast on Friday's One2Three Show, this week’s instalment is dedicated to them and was created based on Gary’s challenge of writing a poem starring Tron in a catsuit & Vix 20. Thus, “Tron Gets Three Points” was born! Click play in the box below to hear it.
Mar 05, 202104:12
He Said...

He Said...

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem chronicling the various things said over the last year… no names mentioned.
Feb 26, 202104:36
The Curious Case Of A Sandwich In Space

The Curious Case Of A Sandwich In Space

This week on The Poetry Podcast we’re saluting the astonishing achievements of NASA’s perseverance mission to Mars after it touched down on the red planet just hours ago by reliving the most infamous lunch in space history; the true story about the time a corned beef sandwich almost killed a space crew.
Feb 19, 202105:49
A Whitty Ditty

A Whitty Ditty

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an ode to our chief medical officer, Professor Chris Whitty... A Witty Ditty.
Feb 12, 202104:05
Essex Police: Gotta Catch 'Em All

Essex Police: Gotta Catch 'Em All

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the recent war of words and unlikely showdown between Essex Police and Pokémon Go players.
Jan 22, 202105:54
I Woke Up and I’m 30

I Woke Up and I’m 30

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to celebrate the wonders (and bemusement) of turning 30! 
Jan 14, 202103:26
Book Yourself A Cruise

Book Yourself A Cruise

This week the Poetry Podcast features a poem inspired by a bizarre advert I saw this week desperately trying to encourage us all to book a cruise
Jan 08, 202103:25
A Christmas Cracker

A Christmas Cracker

This week's witty ditty comes with a hefty dose of festive cheer and honours one of the most random and fun traditions of Christmas - the Christmas cracker and all its ingredients. I hope you enjoy it and best wishes for a "cracking" Christmas!
Dec 23, 202007:23
My Doctor

My Doctor

This week's witty ditty is a follow from last week's poem about My Optician. With similar vibes, this is My Doctor
Dec 18, 202002:33
My Optician

My Optician

The Poetry Podcast features a poem about the intimacy of visiting the opticians.
Dec 11, 202003:05
Man Vs Self-Checkout

Man Vs Self-Checkout

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features an infuriating account of the never-ending battle between man and self-checkout where all common sense, hope and discounts are lost!
Dec 03, 202006:39
Free The Gluten!

Free The Gluten!

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features my take on why we should liberate lasagna and rescue ravioli – free the gluten!
Nov 26, 202005:10
Mum's Address Book

Mum's Address Book

This episode of The Poetry Podcast features a poem about, possibly the oldest thing in anyone’s house, the family address book.
Nov 20, 202003:35
Coronavirus

Coronavirus

This week's witty ditty immortalises some of the mad and bizarre things the history books might forget when documenting the story of our battle with Coronavirus. Very much guided by the science; this is Britain's 2020, unabridged and described by yours truly.
Nov 12, 202008:05
Lockdown Limerick

Lockdown Limerick

This week The Poetry Podcast features a poem to lift the moods of everyone thrust back into lockdown, a lockdown limerick
Nov 06, 202002:45
Essential item, isn't it?

Essential item, isn't it?

This week's witty ditty is a poem inspired by a man in Newport who “exposed” a loophole in the list of essential items in a welsh supermarket.
Oct 30, 202005:41
Tiers Of A Town

Tiers Of A Town

This week's poem is inspired by the real-life trials and tribulations from a road in Essex where half of the houses are in one tier and the other half are in another.
Oct 23, 202004:59
Library Book Returns

Library Book Returns

This week's poem is inspired by the true story of a library book checked out in 1962 and returned... 57 years late!
Oct 15, 202005:36
Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga

Oh How I Long To Be In A Conga

This week's poem is a timely reflection on one of the hardest hit victims of Covid19… the conga.
Oct 15, 202003:30
Silenced By The Lambs

Silenced By The Lambs

This week's poem is based on a true story and one formerly featured in The Darwin Awards. It tells the horrifying yet hilarious tale of a farmer's wife who came to an abrupt end at the mercy of her own animals on a farm in Durham.
Oct 09, 202005:17
Art Heist Fail

Art Heist Fail

This week's poem is based on the true and embarrassing story of an art heist that went disastrously wrong in the simplest of ways.
Oct 08, 202003:26
A Little Town Called Borja (The Legend Of The Ecce Homo)

A Little Town Called Borja (The Legend Of The Ecce Homo)

This week's poem is inspired by the modern legend that is the Ecce Homo; the story of a less than divine intervention at the church in a little town called Borja.
Oct 07, 202004:39
War Of The Flies

War Of The Flies

In the first of a new reincarnation of this podcast we kick off The Poetry Podcast, an audiological anthology of my poems featuring a weekly "witty ditty". This week I've penned a poem inspired by the true story of a man who waged war on a fly with devastating consequences.
Oct 06, 202008:21