SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay
By SuperPsyched ©
The content on SuperPsyched is for informational use only and not intended to diagnose or provide any type of healthcare treatment.
SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam DorsayJun 29, 2020
#188 The Power of a Name | Alexandra Watkins
In fact, some businesses may have failed because their name is so confusing that no one can figure out how to say it, how to spell it, or what they do.
Of course, we can all think of some exceptions to that rule—sure, there are companies that have done well despite having a bad name.
But wouldn't it be better to start off on the right foot and stack the cards in favor of a better outcome? Addressing this is a recognized expert on branding and naming things. Alexandra Watkins (https://eatmywords.com/) is the owner of a business called Eat My Words and the author of a book I absolutely devoured called, Hello My Name Is Awesome: How to Create Brand Names that Stick! I loved this book, as did thought leaders like Adam Grant and Nir Eyal. And I am confident you’ll love learning from her as much as I did.
So, listen in as Alexandra and I talk about the power of naming.
#187 How Our Expectations Can Influence Outcomes: The Science Called The Expectation Effect | David Robson
Expectation Effect Shownotes
Do our expectations affect outcomes? Are there things we can do to increase the likelihood of getting outcomes we want? Are there thoughts that may interfere with these positive outcomes as well?There has been a lot of non-scientific information circulating about these questions. Fortunately, there are people like David Robson (https://davidrobson.me/), sorting the science from the non-science. David is a science writer, a graduate of Cambridge University, and he has won awards for his writing from the Association of British Science Writers and the UK Medical Journalists’ Association.
He's also the author of The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Transform Your Life. I loved his book, so have major thought leaders like Daniel Pink, and agree with the New York Journal Review that said, “If you’re looking to make major or minor changes in your life, this book will help you leave the starting gate with positive expectations of success.”So, listen in as David shares how your mindset can transform your life.
#186 Listening to Our Bodies | Rachel Fleischman, LCSW
It wasn’t long ago that the notion of the mind-body connection was considered New Agey. It was as if the mind and the body were two totally separate systems that had very little to do with each other.
Now, with contributions from scientific research, wisdom-based traditions, and modern psychotherapy, the mind-body connection isn’t even questioned.
Still, there’s a lot to learn about how our bodies and minds connect and I’m so glad I got to have this conversation with psychotherapist and dance instructor, Rachel Fleischman (https://www.blisscounseling.com/). Rachel is a seasoned therapist who does both traditional individual and couple therapy but who also integrates talk therapy with movement. As you will hear, she is wise, fun, and extremely skilled in pulling her information from various sources that contribute to her knowledge base.
If you’re a fan of movement and want to learn more about how it can be a component of psychological healing, this episode is for you!
So, listen in as Rachel and I geek out to the psychotherapy and movement.
#185 The Autistic Advantage | Olivia Fox Cabane
Autism has been rightfully getting lots of media airtime lately. Indeed, it is a deeply misunderstood condition and, sadly, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed.
As you’ll hear in this episode and in my 2020 episode with Dr. Temple Grandin, neurodiversity can help teams thrive and people on the autism spectrum often have a lot to bring to the table at the workplace. In fact, they may bring super strengths that could be akin to what my guest refers to as the Autistic Advantage.
My guest, Olivia Fox Cabane (https://www.askolivia.com/), is the author of a huge bestselling book, The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. I loved this book and have given it out to countless people I serve. Yet, you’ll hear the personal story of why Olivia wrote the book and how, as an undiagnosed person on the autism spectrum, the publicity tours associated with the book were excruciating to her.You’ll also hear about how the diagnosis has been badly misunderstood, how many treatment modalities have been harmful—even extremely harmful—to people on the spectrum, and some things people need to know to better understand members in our community who are autistic. She even shares the cross-cultural aspects of being in a relationship with a neurotypical husband and some benefits of being in a neurodiverse relationship.
So, listen in as Olivia and I talk about the Autistic Advantage. Please note, some descriptors of treatment modalities on this episode are graphic and violent in nature. Please listen accordingly.
#184 Raising Children Who Aren't A#@holes | Melinda Wenner Moyer
Parents overwhelmingly want to raise kind children. Yet many concerning trends are on the rise including narcissism and bullying, leaving many parents to worry: how can I improve the likelihood of raising a kind child?
And that’s why I was delighted to meet with author and journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer (https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/). Melinda is a prolific science journalist and blogger and the author of a book addressing our fears with the hilariously titled, How to Raise Children Who Aren’t Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens. I loved this book and raves for it have come far and wide from sources like Wharton Professor Adam Grant, CNN.com and Publisher’s Weekly who said, Melinda “crafts a winning guide for parents who wish to build a “better, fairer, stronger world.” This delightful mix of strategy and humor shouldn’t be missed.”
I couldn’t agree more and I’m confident you’ll love learning from her as well.
So, listen in as Melinda breaks down the science of raising children who are kind and definitely aren’t assholes.Book link: https://tinyurl.com/83x7vcf6
#183 Harvard Business Review CHRO, Angela Cheng-Cimini | Working Remote vs In-Person
For many of us, working virtually is the new normal. For others, it's back to the office or a hybrid of virtual and real life.
What are the implications of working from home? How does it affect the employee? How does it affect the company? What are some ways to create win-win scenarios for corporations and employee well-being as it relates to working in person versus virtually?
I'm so happy you and I get to learn from one of the best: Harvard Business Review’s Chief Human Resource Officer, Angela Cheng-Cimini. As you’ll hear, Angela is the perfect person to engage at a high level about these and other nuanced considerations that keep employees and their companies functioning at their best.
So, listen in as Angela and I talk about the mental health implications of working remotely vs in-person or hybrid.
#182 Imposter No More | Dr. Jill Stoddard
Why do we feel it? And why do we hear that voice that says, “You're not good enough to do this!” or, another classic hit, “Just wait till they'll find out I'm a fraud!”
It turns out, we’re in good company. Albert Einstein, Meryl Streep, and Maya Angelou have all experienced this. And I'm so delighted that my colleague, Dr. Jill Stoddard (https://jillstoddard.com/), a psychologist, TEDx speaker. and author has written a superb book on this topic. It’s called Imposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career.
As you’ll read in the book and hear in this interview, Jill is wise, kind, and super-relatable! You’ll learn more about your inner-critic, how to respond when it tells you not to go what you want to go for, and much more.
So, listen in as Jill and I talk about quieting your inner critic that keeps you held back by imposterism.
#181 Civility: What It Is, How To Rock It & Why We Need it More than Ever | Alexandra Hudson
What is civility? What are the consequences of its absence? And why is it so important?
Many people may inadvertently believe the words “polite” and “civil” are interchangeable. But as you hear and think about these words, you're probably recognizing just how different they are.
I am so glad my guest, Alexandra Hudson (https://alexandraohudson.com/), has dedicated years of her life to write a fantastic book about this topic and it is hot off the press. The book is called The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves. Alexandra’s website perfectly summarizes the book’s relevance with this statement, “In an era of fraught political tension, civility—a respect for the dignity of others—is the key to bridging the divide.”I couldn’t agree more. So many outstanding enterprises and causes—including the United States—have been the result of people with different points of view coming together and working together with civility.
So, with that end in mind, listen in, as Alexandra shares her thoughts on the importance of civility.
#180 Second City's Kelly Leonard | Improv & The Power of "Yes And"
Many Fortune 500 companies, including Clorox, have been able to boost their bottom line by using the skills they’ve implemented from improv.
I had the pleasure of speaking with Kelly Leonard (https://www.secondcity.com/people/kelly-leonard+), the Vice President of Creative Strategy, Innovation and Business Development of Second City in Chicago, the oldest continually operating improv center in the world. The list of graduates who have come from Second City is utterly astounding. If you are a fan of any of these people, you can thank Second City: Amy Poehler, Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Tina Fey, Tim Meadows, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Joan Rivers, Jordan Peele, Alan Alda, John Belushi, Stephen Colbert, Cecily Strong, and so many others. All of them developed their chops under the same roof, where my guest has worked for 35 years.
Kelly is the author of an excellent book on improv called, Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No, but" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration - Lessons from the Second City. I loved this book and so did a fella by the name of Stephen Colbert who said the book, “…is for anyone looking to be more creative in their work and in their life.” Other similar praise came from Dan Pink and Vanity Fair.
In this episode, you will hear how improv works, and why you should consider developing these skills. You may even find yourself bringing people like Kelly to your workplace to help improve performance and employee morale through the types of play that only improv can bring.
So, listen in as Kelly and I talk about why you need to learn improv, the super-skill in life.
#179 Charity: How We Get So Much More than We Give, When We Give | Mark Gerson
And because of that, I am so excited to speak with the guest on this episode, Mark Gerson. Mark is an incredible human being. He has a JD from Yale Law School, he married a rabbi, is the author of a brilliant book, the host of a great podcast, and he has had spectacular success in the business world founding Gerson Lehrman Group also known as GLG, Thuzio, Tel Aviv Angel Group and, later, Maverick Ventures Israel, a venture capital fund. But these are just some of the things that impress me about Mark. At least as impressive has been his total dedication to his charities and to measurably making our world a better place. He oversees United Hatzalah, an inspired medical operation in Israel, as well as African Mission Healthcare Foundation, a similarly inspired medical operation that supports Christian Medical Ministries in Africa.
He talks about the benefits of participating in charity work and the meaning and sustainable joy it provides. He also shares tips on fundraising: a Jedi level skill that requires incredible finesse and has been described as the most difficult sale of all.
So, listen in as Mark shares timeless wisdom of charity: how we get so much more than we give, when we give. If you’re so moved, the link for African Mission Healthcare is: africanmissionhealthcare.org and the link for United Hatzalah is israelrescue.org.
#178 Community: Why We Need It & How to Create It | Charles Vogl
The Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, has recently warned of a loneliness epidemic in the United States and has cited research suggesting that loneliness can be as toxic to our health as 15 cigarettes per day. Unfortunately, societal trends do not support people getting together in real life. Attendance at virtually all community gatherings is on the decline, whether we are referring to social groups, religious organizations, or even picnics.Sadly, our 35,000-year-old brains are not wired for the isolation we are experiencing these days. Our social brains crave community and togetherness, and even the most introverted of us need some communal connection, but we rarely know how to do it or where to even look.And that is why I'm so happy to speak with Charles Vogl (https://www.charlesvogl.com/). Charles has spent time in diverse communities such as the Peace Corps in Zambia, Yale University where he did his master’s degree in spiritual traditions, philosophy, and business., and here in Silicon Valley where he has served at Google’s Vitality Lab. He is the author of a book I loved called The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging. Charles speaks about the principles that help communities thrive and why we need them. I agree with bestselling author Richard Leider, who said of the book, "At last, here is an insightful guide to create the community you have envisioned for yourself and others."
So, listen in as Charles and I talk about the art of community.
#177 Smash Mouth Guitarist Greg Camp Remembering Steve Harwell
Like many people, I’m a big fan of the band and I’m really sad about this. Smash Mouth’s lead guitarist and songwriter was Greg Camp (https://gregcampmusic.com/) and, yes, he wrote all the songs you love including All Star. Fortunately, I’ve known Greg for many years, and he gave a great interview in episode #35 a few years ago. He was kind enough to meet up again to share some intimate, behind-the-scenes experiences of his relationship with Steve, as well as his memories of this icon of pop culture, describing Steve, the person behind his front-man image. Greg gives a beautiful homage to Steve in this episode, and he creates art in bringing Steve to life as he grieves the loss of his friend and bandmate.
You will hear about Steve’s spectacular successes… you’ll also hear about Steve’s hardships… some of which utterly devastating. We touch upon the tragic loss of Steve’s only child, Presley, who died at the age of six months from leukemia. As you might imagine, this is a kind of loss that has no word or descriptor. I mean, there is a word for someone who’s lost a spouse (a widow or widower), or a child who has no parents (an orphan), but there is no word for what Steve experienced, and it is overwhelming to even imagine.
You’ll also hear the lighter and inspirational side of Steve including how he convinced Greg to join forces with him to create Smash Mouth, Steve’s philosophy of “do something every day,” stories about who Steve was, how he changed Greg’s life and even saved Greg’s life, as well as the song that defined Steve in Greg’s eyes (interestingly, it’s probably not a song you’ll expect). In fact, I received permission to include that song at the end of this episode, so, appropriately, we close with the voice of Steve and the guitar of Greg and the music of Smash Mouth.
So, listen in as Smash Mouth’s guitarist and songwriter, Greg Camp, remembers Steve Harwell.
Photo Credit: Kelly Castro (https://www.kellycastro.photo/home#1)
#176 The Future of Jobs | Jeff Wald
These days there is understandably a lot of talk and a lot of fear about the future of jobs. Speculations are plentiful and some are downright grim.
The questions abound: what will the future bring as it relates to employment? How will my children's work-life look? You may even be thinking, damn, what will my own work look like in a few years?
The truth is nobody really knows. But a good place to form hypotheses about the future may exist in thoughtful analysis of current research as well as looking deeply at history. It is crucial that we cool our heads and listen to thought leaders who have real-world experience plus those who have given deep and objective thought to the matter. And that is why I'm so grateful to have had this conversation with just such a person. Jeff Wald is the Founder of Work Market, as well as several other technology companies including Spinback which was eventually sold to Salesforce.
Jeff is now an angel investor who holds an MBA from Harvard University and an MS and a BS from Cornell University. He’s also the author of a book I found helpful and informative called, The End of Jobs: The Rise of On-Demand Workers and Agile Corporations and Jeff and I geek out to the future of jobs as he sees it.
As you will hear, Jeff draws deeply on research and history and he gives his take on the skills that will be necessary in the future, the relevance of college education, jobs on the rise, jobs on their way out, jobs that will change, and his thoughtful weigh-in on where we are heading in general.
So, listen in as Jeff and I talk about the future of jobs.
#175 We Must Talk About Ramen! | Rory Dent
OK, I jest. But if you are a listener of this podcast, you have likely noticed I cover lots of important psychological issues that we face… I also cover huge pleasures. Among those pleasures, some episode topics have included coffee, barbecue, and ice cream.
I’m going to add one more: I am utterly in love with ramen. It is my go-to comfort food, and I am not alone. It has become a huge international sensation and, as you will hear, people where I live in Silicon Valley and all over the world will stand in line for an hour or more just to get a bowl from their favorite shop. In this episode, we discuss the varieties of ramen, why we humans are so drawn to it, its history, some cool activities for parents and children, and so much more.
Fortunately, I know just the guy to talk about this phenomenal dish and his name is Rory Dent! Rory comes from England but has lived in Japan for many years both as a student at Musashi University and as an employee, including working as a cook at a ramen shop, and currently as a tour guide. Recently, he was my family’s tour guide for a spectacular ramen tour in Tokyo, and shortly after we met, I knew I needed to share his brilliance with you, my listener.
So, listen in as Rory and I talk about the international phenomenon known as ramen! Rory's Private Instagram Tour Page: instagram.com/tobira.travel?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
Tokyo Ramen Tours Link: www.tokyoramentours.com/
#174 Japanese Psychology Lessons: How Do You Want to Use Your 30,000 Days? | Gregg Krech
This episode is dedicated to Japanese psychology and—procrastinators, listen up—it is also dedicated to taking action. As you’ll hear from my guest, we have, on average, around 30,000 days of life. To deal with this reality, there have been some great contributions to the field coming from Japan—and you’ll get to hear and learn about therapies you may never have heard of, specifically, Morita and Naikan Therapies. And many people have been loving Marie Kondo’s work and have seen her Netflix special and have rid their homes of anything that didn’t bring them a spark of joy, as she so brilliantly puts it. Her thinking, too, is in line with this way of thinking as I see it.
To make the concepts super accessible to my listeners, I found a man who has been studying and teaching Japanese psychology for over three decades and has presented on the topic internationally multiple times. Gregg Krech (https://www.thirtythousanddays.org/) is the founder and executive director of the Todo Institute, a non-profit organization in Vermont dedicated to the study of Japanese psychology. Gregg is the author of multiple books on this topic including one on Naikan which Publishers Weekly described as “illuminating and instructive." In addition, he wrote a book that has been read with overwhelmingly positive reviews by a very wide audience, The Art of Taking Action: Lessons from Japanese Psychology.
So, listen in as Gregg and I get into the art of taking action and lessons from Japanese psychology. Book link: amzn.to/45lJ8Jv This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#173 Career Hacks: Secrets They Never Taught You in School | Mark Herschberg
at school that were not on the curriculum. While so much of what we need to
learn can only be taught through experience, many skills that could be taught
in school aren't.
Please know I am not faulting teachers or even the education system. There is
so much to be taught and the laundry list of items could be endless!
Yet, what are some of the things that we needed to learn but
didn't? My new friend, Mark Herschberg answers that question in his excellent
book, The Career Toolkit. Mark developed the material from 20 years of teaching
MIT students all the things they’ll need to know to succeed but weren’t taught
even at a top-tier institution.
I wish I had this book when I started my career but I'm so
glad it is available to my children and I'm also grateful it's available to me
even at this stage of life.
Mark is a graduate of MIT for both his undergraduate and master’s
degree, a seasoned startup expert, a successful CTO at various companies, and
he has done all kinds of other cool things in his life ranging from fighting cybercrime
and becoming an award-winning ballroom dancer.
So, listen in as mark and I talk about interview skills,
negotiation skills, and of course, the skills that we will need as AI becomes
more and more relevant. Book link: amzn.to/3KDN8gh This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#172 The Psychologist to Comedians | Ildiko Tabori, Ph.D.
Comedians use their genius to give us joy, laughter, and even to help us think about things differently.
And yet, those same people who bring so much pleasure often are people who experience deep levels of depression, anxiety, and histories of trauma.
I have taken great interest in the way comedians think and their lives. And that is why I am so happy to have had the opportunity to speak with a psychologist who specializes in working with comedians. Dr. Ildiko Tabori (https://drildikotabori.com/) is a psychologist in Los Angeles who has many specialties including serving as the resident psychologist for the Laugh Factory, a top-tier comedy club in LA. She has worked with comedians there since 2011 and has been interviewed by the media about her work and I loved learning with her.If you’re a comedy fan or know someone who is, listen and share this episode!
#171 The Shadow of The Wind - Adam Dorsay, Psy.D.
#170 The Ted Lasso Effect | Adam Dorsay, Psy.D.
I decided to name a few things that this show has done so well and to give a shout-out to its creator, Bill Lawrence, for giving us this incredible gift. I believe I will be forever grateful to him for creating this show as well as Scrubs and Shrinking.
So, listen in as I share a love letter to Ted Lasso and Bill and ask you to ask yourself, what would Ted Lasso do?
#169 Lesser-Known Sex Stuff | Ross Benes
#168 Helping Kids with Feelings & Friendships | Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore
And this idea relates perfectly to what my guest is working on with children—fostering skills that may pay dividends for the rest of their lives by helping them develop better relationships with their emotions and their friends. As a psychologist who has seen the importance of skills relating to emotions and friendship, I believe early intervention could be a major difference maker. Simply put, I’m blown away by my colleague and new friend, Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore (https://eileenkennedymoore.com/) and her outstanding work. Eileen is a psychologist in private practice in Princeton, NJ, the author of multiple books written for parents and children, including her most recent, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids, co-written with Christine McLaughlin. Eileen is a major thought leader in psychology, and she is also the host of a podcast about children and friendship that I love called Kids ask Dr. Friendtastic.
As you’ll hear, she’s super engaging, her tips are on-point, and she has the ability to relay her wisdom in a manner that will empower children and parents.
Many adult listeners may listen to this episode and think, “I wish I had an Eileen when I was a kid.” Well, if you have a theme or variation of that thought, take heart in knowing I thought that too. Please know it’s not too late to incorporate her wisdom as an adult and that you can pass it on to the children in your life.
So, listen in as Eileen and I talk about children, friendship, and emotions. Book link: amzn.to/43jEIRE This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay). Link to Dr. Kennedy Moore’s Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic Podcast; podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic/id1668562771
#167 Being on the Frontlines for Food Policy | Dr. Michael Jacobson
We all know the expression that we are what we eat. Yet few have devoted their lives to the science behind this idea more than the guest of this episode.Dr. Michael Jacobson earned a Ph.D. in microbiology from MIT and, shortly after, devoted his expertise to the budding field of nutrition science. Michael is the founder of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, and he spent nearly five decades at the forefront of disseminating the best research available on food and health. He has also worked steadily on public policy relating to food and he’s been recognized for his contributions by the CDC and a host of other government agencies and organizations. His work includes a 25-year effort to create national policy to ban partially-hydrogenated oils. That law went into effect in 2018.
Michael is now working on creating a National Food Museum and we talk about that, his career in science, and what it’s been like to be on the frontlines engaged in his work.
So, listen in, as Michael shares about his life in research and policy relating to our food.
#166 When Your Career Becomes Your Whole Identity | Janna Koretz, Psy.D.
Of course, thinking about this rationally, we all can eventually come to recognize that we are more than our work. But on an emotional level, we can become so identified with our work that we forget who we are.
So, here comes the big word: enmeshment. Enmeshment is an experience that many of us have interpersonally where we are so identified with a relationship that we can forget who we are. This often happens with parent and child where the parent basically says, “If you are my child and part of this family, you must be this or do that.”
And this exact dynamic can show up at work.
I am so grateful to my colleague and new friend, Dr. Jana Koretz, a psychologist in Cambridge, MA, who has written extensively about enmeshment as it pertains to work. Janna is licensed psychologist who, like me, serves high-achieving individuals who may come to over identify with their work. Her article in the Harvard Business Review caught my eye, and I knew I had to interview her! When you listen in, you will hear why.
It turns out that over-identifying with our role at work can have very toxic effects. Janna talks about these and ways to navigate our own internal trappings that cause this and how we can continue to excel without suffering the toxic effects of enmeshment.
Janna’s article in Harvard Business Review: hbr.org/2019/12/what-happens-when-your-career-becomes-your-whole-identity
#165 How Storytelling Helps Business | Donna Griffit
Don’t believe me? Let’s look at one of the most successful movies ever, Star Wars. While it’s not “once upon a time” verbatim, it’s a theme and variation: how does Star Wars begin? Say it with me, “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...”
Turns out, those magical words don't just relate to works of fiction. Even when it comes to the truth, our brains are oriented to think in stories. Consider this: what are your thoughts about Kentucky Fried Chicken? I'm guessing that the results are a bit varied but very few people know the story behind the famous KFC front man. A big part of its story is this: Colonel Sanders attempted to sell his secret recipe 1,009 times and was rejected every time. Does that cause you to see the business differently?
Simply put, our brains have been wired throughout the millennia to think in stories. Our traditions, morals, and values were conveyed through stories.
In this episode, I visit with a storytelling expert who has decided to use her hard-earned talents to help startups increase their likelihood of success through stories. This is a brilliant idea for any business. And that is why I'm so glad to be speaking with Donna Griffit (https://donnagriffit.com/), the author of Sticking to My Story: The Alchemy of Storytelling for Startups. Donna breaks down the importance of storytelling as it relates to businesses of all kinds and you’ll hear why the founder of Slack, Stewart Butterfield and so many other luminaries are fans of her work.
Listen in as Donna and I talk about storytelling and how it can help boost your business. Book link: amzn.to/46cSwQA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#164 Dating, Intimacy & Sex Later in Life | Carol Kramer, LCSW
But what happens when we are dating later in life? Perhaps an unexpected divorce or the tragedy of death caused us to date at a stage in life that contradicted our imagined trajectory. And if we have children, how do we tell them we are dating?
These and so many other questions and ideas will be discussed with a woman who is dating later in life who happens to also be an expert couple’s therapist. I discovered Carol Kramer, LCSW (https://www.safeconnections.com/) who works as a psychotherapist in New York City thanks to a courageous article she wrote for the Psychotherapy Networker, describing her own dating process after the death of her husband, Steve, who died suddenly six years ago. I was taken by her candor and courage and knew she could speak to many people who are having similar experiences. To hear it from a couple’s therapist like Carol illuminates the nuances and complexities of dating at this stage in life.
So, listen in as Carol and I talk candidly about dating later in life. Link to Imago book: amzn.to/3qEIG9Y This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#163 Behind the Scenes of College Admissions and Beyond | Dr. Irena Smith
I'm so glad to have had the conversation you’ll get to hear with former Stanford University admissions officer, Dr. Irena Smith (https://www.irenasmith.com/). She is the author of a new book called, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays, that will help anyone going through the college admission process. Irena is currently working as a college admissions counselor and her book is a total treasure. She generously shares her wisdom gleaned from spending countless hours considering the applications of thousands of students and now assisting students through this process. What's more, Irena has a PhD in comparative literature from UCLA, so her book reads like having a cup of coffee with your best friend who happens to be a superior writer! Forbes said that her book, “can serve as a potential antidote to the fevered belief that being admitted to an elite college will spell the difference between a successful life vs. a doomed future.”
I couldn’t agree more!
So, listen in as Irena and I talk about things you need to know about the college admission process and beyond.
Book link: amzn.to/3NpQW6l This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#162 Leaning into LIfe Enhancing Anxiety | Kirk Schneider, Ph.D.
Yet, consider this: can anxiety at times act as a signal for us to change course or do something different? In such moments, what if we were able to listen to what our anxiety was telling us?
My guest, Dr. Kirk J. Schneider (https://kirkjschneider.com/about/) is one of today’s most prominent existential psychologists in the world. You may ask, “What is existential psychology?” Glad you did! According to the American Psychological Association, an existential psychological approach looks at “the subjective meaning of human experience, the uniqueness of the individual, and personal responsibility reflected in choice.”
And, as you’ll hear, Kirk’s work—including his latest book, is all about that. It examines the mystery of life, the anxiety incurred by that mystery, and how to listen to it and find greater meaning. His book, Life Enhancing Anxiety looks at these phenomena and helps us cultivate tools to find more meaning in our lives. SuperPsyched guest, Dr. Michael Amster, who talked on the topic of awe, raved about the book saying, “we need this brilliant book to open a new door to embracing (and engaging with) Life-Enhancing Anxiety.” And Kirkus Reviews said, “…Readers grappling with standard concepts of anxiety will find plenty of food for thought in Schneider's vision."
So, listen in as Kirk and I talk about life-enhancing anxiety.
Book Link: amzn.to/42As3cA This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#161 Psychedelics & Microdosing | Paul Austin
These days, things have changed dramatically. Psychedelics, while still illegal in most places, are being recognized for their potentially powerful role as an adjunct component to psychotherapy. There is even evidence though numerous clinical trials they can assist in treatment of trauma, depression, and coming to terms with issues facing the end of our lives. And we are not talking about anecdotal evidence from Cheech and Chong; we are talking about credible research from internationally renowned institutions like Johns Hopkins University.
Even microdosing psychedelics appear to show promising results. Yet, there’s a lot of mystery that we’ll uncover such as: what are psychedelics? What is microdosing? And how might it be helpful? What are the risks?
I was so glad to speak with psychedelics and microdosing expert, Paul Austin (https://www.paulaustin.co/). Paul is the author of Mastering Microdosing: How to Use Sub-Perceptual Psychedelics to Heal Trauma, Improve Performance, and Transform Your Life. Paul’s work has been featured in Forbes, Rolling Stone, and other top-shelf journals. He shares fascinating information relating to the potential benefits of psychedelics and microdosing.
As always, the content on SuperPsyched is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. For that, speak with your licensed medical healthcare provider.That said, please listen in as Paul and I discuss microdosing and psychedelics.
Book link: amzn.to/3qGIx5S Scientific American article citing Johns Hopkins University research: tinyurl.com/46uyf5zv
#160 Why We Need to Be In Each Other's Care & How to Do It | Stan Tatkin, Psy.D.
So, although our brains are the most complicated structures in the known universe, they need training to be good in relationship.
And, as anyone in relationship will tell you, they take work. And because those brains like to conserve energy, it’s easy for us to fall asleep at the wheel while we’re in them. It’s no wonder we get into so much trouble in our relationships!
I'm so grateful to the thought leaders who are at the forefront of couple counseling. If I had to choose a superhero team of the biggest contributors to improving relationships, without question, this episode’s guest would be one of them.
This will be my second interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin, and if I have my way, there will be more! Stan has trained hundreds, if not thousands of therapists in his Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy model which has improved the lives of countless people on our planet.
Stan’s latest book, In Each Other's Care, just came out and it is awesome. To quote relationship expert and SuperPsyched guest, Terry Real, “Stan reminds us that taking care of one another, of our union, is taking care of ourselves.”
So, listen in as Stan explains why and how to be in each other’s care.
Book Link: amzn.to/3X11coQ This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#159 Real-World Negotiation | Harvard Negotiation Project's Joshua Weiss, Ph.D.
And some of us believe that negotiation isn't a relevant part of our lives. Turns out that’s untrue. All of us must negotiate and probably more often than we are even aware.
What are the necessary skills for good negotiation? What would be the best way to hold our negotiating partner in our mind? And what about other factors that might be relevant like, how and where should we be seated when we get negotiate?
These and so many other questions will be answered by my expert guest, Dr. Joshua Weiss (https://www.joshuanweiss.com/). Josh is Senior Fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the co-founder of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University. Josh has worked to assist in negotiations for big corporations as well hostage negotiations and work in high conflict zones like Northern Ireland and the Middle East. He is also the author of a superb book called The Book of Real-World Negotiations: Successful Strategies from Business, Government, and Daily Life. Retired FBI agent, Joe Navarro said of the book, “By the time you finish, you know that you have been bequeathed a treasure.”
So, listen in as Josh and I talk about how to negotiate in the real world.
Book Link: amzn.to/3CnwJI3 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#158 Big Talk: The Antidote for Small Talk | Kalina Silverman
Have you ever left a social event and, after talking all night to various people, felt like nothing real was said? Sure, if a transcriptionist followed you, there was lots of dialogue. But as you considered the meaning of the dialogue, it felt empty.
This would not be problematic if we humans didn’t chase meaning throughout our lives. As SuperPsyched guest, mythologist, Michael, Meade says, “We are not just Homo sapiens, we are homo symbolicus,” which I think is a super cool way of saying that we are creatures who need meaning in life.
Unfortunately, most schools don’t teach us how to engage in meaningful conversation. Instead, most of us go through life engaging in small talk, and not knowing how to connect with others about things that really matter to us. And because we are social creatures, much of how we learn about who we are, ourselves, occurs in a space of conversation. So not only does that keep us from knowing others, it keeps us from knowing ourselves more deeply.Doing this takes vulnerability and courage but the payoff is huge.
I’m so grateful my guest, Kalina Silverman (https://www.makebigtalk.com/), started on what was meant to be a two-year journey to help us with the skill of Big Talk. She’s now in her eighth year and she doesn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon because there’s such a need for it. Being a fan of Kalina’s work is definitely not a lonely experience. Her TEDx talk has garnered over 6 million views and her Big Talk cards that facilitate good questions, sell in large volumes. Her work has been incorporated into large corporations, the military, schools, and even jails to improve the quality of life of the stakeholders there. Clearly, Kalina and Big Talk has struck a chord with what people are wanting and needing.
And, please note, she is not speaking out against small talk. You’ll hear in our conversation that small talk has a place in our lives. But you’ll also hear that when it’s our only move, we miss out on so much.
So, listen in as Kalina and I talk about Big Talk: why we need it and how to do it.
To Purchase Big Talk Cards: https://tinyurl.com/2s448997
Kalina’s Website: http://www.kalinasilverman.com/
#157 An Actor Who Became 224 Different People on TV & Film | Spencer Garrett, Actor & Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Member
Many people fantasize about what it would be like to be an actor. And what many of us don't know is just how long the long game is in pursuing that dream.
And we have ideas about what that life might be like. But how accurate are those ideas? What does it take to succeed in the business? And what does it take to play 224 different characters and stretch into the realities of each of those individuals?
And what about social comparison and FOMO? It's a heavy component of life in the world of acting because all the players have such different realities. I mean, can you imagine playing with Leo Di Caprio or Brad Pitt and asking yourself, “How do I measure up?”
I have the perfect person to answer these and so many other questions that will fascinate you. Spencer Garrett is a veteran movie actor, and he was recently inducted into the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. He has played in TV series as diverse as Dallas, Murder She Wrote, and The X-Files all the way up to recently in movies like Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and alongside Harrison Ford Air Force One. I mean, check out his IMDB—he’s done everything with seemingly everyone! I’m pretty sure that if you do, you’ll realize you’ve seen him in lots of great stuff.
Spencer and I met years ago on the California AIDS Ride, a seven-day, 575-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, and I've always wanted to have him on the podcast. Since meeting him, watching movies has been like a long-time game of Where's Waldo; it seems like I see him everywhere! And he’s always excellent—no matter which of the diverse 224 characters he’s playing, he fully embodies the role. At least as impressive, he's an incredibly kind person with a superb work ethic and I'm grateful for his willingness to share his world with us at a very candid and deep level.
So, listen in as Spencer and I get into the skills required to take on 224 different roles.
#156 Maroon 5: Before, During & After | Maroon 5 Founding Drummer, Ryan Dusick, AMFT
And I constantly fantasized about becoming a rockstar.
Obviously, that was not my path. Yet, I still wonder, what would it actually be like to become a rockstar? And, regarding this episode, what would it be like to become a rock star in a mega-band and lose that status? Harder still, what would it be like to watch your rockstar bandmates enjoy international fame to levels seen by very few bands create platinum records, play halftime at the Super Bowl, and win a bunch of Grammys?
I had the pleasure of sitting down with Maroon 5 founding drummer, Ryan Dusick (https://www.ryandusick.com/), who shared what that was like. Ryan was there from the early days long before Maroon 5 was even a thing, back when they were known as Kara’s Flowers. He grew up with Adam Levine and other band mates. Together, they created what I consider one of the greatest albums of all time, Songs About Jane. Ryan was part of the band’s enormous success. and, as you will hear, anxiety, perfectionism, and other phenomena sidelined him, eventually taking him out of his coveted position as drummer. You will hear what it was like to deal with the loss, the FOMO, the social comparison, struggles with addiction, and a kind of heartache few can imagine. But it doesn’t end there. In this interview, you’ll hear how he found and continues to find meaning afterwards. Today, Ryan is an Associate Marriage and Family Counselor, and I am confident he is and will continue to become a superb therapist. He wrote a phenomenal memoir I loved so much that I listened to it twice called Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon 5, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery.
So, listen in as Ryan and I get into life before, during, and after Maroon 5.
Book link: amzn.to/3XiaiOt This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#155 The Long Game | Duke University's School of Business, Dorie Clark
So, to take us on a ride for that good stuff, my guest, one of the world’s top executive coaches and a professor at Duke University’s school of business, Dorie Clark (https://dorieclark.com/about/), will explain how and why to go for the long game. Coincidentally, the title of the book we’ll discuss is her latest, The Long Game: How to Be a Long-Term Thinker in a Short-Term World. I’m not alone in my love for Dorie’s work. Among the many accolades her book has drawn, Forbes Magazine said, “Dorie's book helps us … create the kind of interesting, meaningful lives we all seek."
So, listen in as Dorie and I get into it to help you get inspired to override your short-term brain and get up to bat for the long game.
Book Link: amzn.to/3CnVZxV This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#154 Fake News & Disinformation: Why It's Here & What Can We Do About It? | Eric Schurenberg, Former CEO of Inc. & Fast Company
I’m guessing that in grade school at some point you played the game of Telephone. You know, that game where you and your classmates or friends get in a circle, and one person whispers a statement to the next person and continues like this until it gets to the original person. And we all remember the results: the statement is generally so distorted that everyone in the circle starts laughing.
Which is funny as a controlled game when there are no consequences. But it’s terrifying in the real world when the information is necessary and may have life or death consequences. The bottom line is this: we need shared facts to thrive and sometimes we need those shared facts just to survive. Can you imagine if a large segment of the population was told by seemingly credible sources that red traffic lights meant GO and green lights meant STOP? It would be catastrophic… there would likely be thousands of unnecessary deaths. And, today, disinformation can do such things and many of us are discouraged by the fact that it’s on the rise.
Why does it exist and why do people perpetuate it? And, more important, what can be done about it?
Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask! My guest, Eric Schurenberg (https://ericschurenberg.com/), is Editor in Chief of Amplify Publishing Group and former CEO and Editor in Chief of two major publications, Inc. and Fast Company. He has taken great interest in fake news and disinformation. We talk about these troubling issues and, as you’ll hear, Eric is highly personable and analytical making it is easy to follow his thinking. His experience at the highest levels of journalism qualifies him as the person to address these issues and I hope you’ll find his words edifying and empowering.So, listen in as Eric talks about fake news, why it’s here and what can be done about it.
#153 Children & Grief | Korie Leigh, PhD
Turns out that, for many reasons, not talking directly about death and grief is not such a great idea. One reason is that, as painful as they are, death and grief are inventible parts of life, and no one can avoid them. An old tale features a character who shows up as Death, personified by a grim reaper-like character in the story, saying he will spare the protagonist’s loved one if the protagonist can find a village that hasn’t been impacted by death.Spoiler alert, no village was not impacted by death.
So, the big questions are these: how can we best deal with death and grief? And how can we deal with them if we need to communicate these giant realities with children?Fortunately, I know just the person to ask these and many other relevant questions, and that would be my new friend, Dr. Korie Leigh (https://www.korieleighphd.com/). Korie is the author of a superb children’s book on grief called What Does Grief Feel Like? Korie has a long list of credentials, including professor, child life specialist, and thanatologist. What’s a thanatologist you might ask? It’s a person who has studied the many aspects surrounding death and dying.Paradoxically, knowing death well can make a person far more alive. And you will hear in this podcast that Korie is a vital, passionate, and a supremely insightful person from whom I learned a ton, and I am confident you will, too.So, listen in as Korie and I talk about grief and children. Book Link: amzn.to/43U9mlj This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#152 How the Best Practices of Startups Relate to Your Life | Alisa Cohn
Startups are popping up all over the globe and, having been at one during my corporate days, I can attest to the fact that they are very exciting. Yet, as exciting as they are, they can be very stressful and, at times, chaotic. The founders of such companies—many of whom are clients I serve— tell me that they are often baffled by the complexities and the multiple roles they must play to get their companies launched.
I recently read a book that brings order to startup chaos, and the person behind it is a legitimate master. Alisa Cohn (https://www.alisacohn.com/about/) is a seasoned executive coach and the author of From Start-Up to Grown-Up: Grow Your Leadership to Grow Your Business. I loved this book as did thought leaders as diverse as marketing guru, Seth Godin, the world’s top executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith, and the Mayor of Miami, Francis Suarez.
Even if you’re not in a startup setting, you can learn a lot from this interview and the book about how to launch a successful mission of just about any kind since the principles apply to all types of businesses and projects.So, listen in as Alisa and I talk about rocking a start up!
Book Link: amzn.to/3CnGfuL This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#150 My Dad, an 83-Year-Old Retired Physician & Lifelong Learner | Richard Dorsay, MD, PhD (HC)
Yet, these accomplishments are not what impresses me most about my father. What impresses me most and the reason I want him to share his story with you on this episode is that he has been doggedly committed to lifelong learning. Lifelong learning is a central theme of the podcast, and my dad could be the poster boy for his willingness to be wrong, make mistakes for the sake of lifelong learning. I mean, can you imagine a man in his 60s being an exchange student in Central America with a home stay mother who is in her 40s? And he did it solely for the joy of learning, and not for any other benefit.
In this episode, you will hear about a man who has put himself through all types of self-induced challenges to learn. And I believe you will also hear just how thoughtful and joyful he is as a result and how you can do your version of being a lifelong learner.
Book link to Iron John we discussed: amzn.to/43Dm1Jy This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#149 Two Therapists Geek Out to the Craft of Therapy | Michael Alcee, Ph.D.
For most of us who are considering entering therapy, the therapist’s orientation tends to be far less predictive of successful therapy than the match of the two people in the room. When I was attending a talk from Dr. Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist who is a major thought leader on therapy, he said that a way a client can know if it’s a good match is when the client “feels felt” by the therapist. In other words, the client feels safe and deeply understood.
That being said, there are many ways for a therapist to reach a client. I thought it would be cool for you to get to hear a conversation between two psychologists who love the craft and who love geeking out to it, so you’d have a behind-the-scenes look at how two active therapists think about therapy. In addition to therapeutic orientation, having multiple tools to connect with clients can assist the therapeutic process. These tools obviously include empathy and attunement. They can include the scope of knowledge to create good metaphors, improv skills, and being able to land salient stories that can direct a person to their truth.
So, with great enthusiasm, I bring you the thoughtful and creative, Dr. Michael Alcee (https://michaelalcee.com/). Mike is a psychologist in private practice in Tarrytown, NY, and the author of a book I loved called Therapeutic Improvisation: How to Stop Winging It and Own It as a Therapist. He is also a pianist, a mental health educator at the Manhattan School of Music, and a lover of the arts which informs his therapy. SuperPsyched guest, Lori Gottlieb reviewed his book and said that Mike succeeded in showing how creativity can be taught and “illuminating the artistry that inspires the work we do as therapists."
So, listen in as Mike and I talk about the factors that account for good therapy.
Book Link: amzn.to/3qGJPxK This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#148 Sleep is a Skill | Mollie Eastman
If I were to ask you what skill matters more to our physical and mental health than just about any skill out there, what would you say? Well, since you’ve seen the title to this episode, I imagine you know the answer!
Of course, I’m referring to sleep. Sleep is a big deal. I refer to it as the hub airport through which all airplanes must pass, so to speak, because every hormonal, immunological, physical, emotional, and psychological aspect of our health travels through sleep and is impacted by sleep.
To use yet another analogy, it is beneath the ground floor; it is the basement to all of our daily functions. Sleep is such a big deal that you are going to want to geek out to it and become a master of your domain (a wink to Seinfeld fans!) regarding sleep. And you will hear from our expert exactly why that is just so important to all of us and some great tips on how to improve your skills with it.
That’s why I'm so happy to have sleep coach Mollie Eastman (https://www.sleepisaskill.com/) join us as she shares her vast knowledge of this most crucial skill. I love that Molly refers to sleep as a skill. This is not something that all of us are especially good at doing and may benefit from a refresher from an expert.
So, listen in as Mollie shares her vast knowledge of sleep as it relates scientifically and practically to our everyday lives.
#147 Creativity & Ideaflow: A Huge Difference-Maker for Success in Everything | Stanford School of Design's Jeremy Utley
I find comfort in that idea, and I, for one, am very excited to plant trees from the seeds that came from my guest’s brilliant work.
Jeremy Utley (https://www.ideaflow.design/) is Director of Executive Education at Stanford d.school and an Adjunct Professor at Stanford’s School of Engineering. He is also the host of the d.school's widely popular program, "Stanford's Masters of Creativity." Indeed, creativity and ideas make a huge difference, and just how big a difference is reflected the title of the book he co-wrote with his Stanford colleague, Perry Klebahn. The title is Ideaflow: The Only Business Metric That Matters. I loved this book so much that I’m committing to listening to it three times so I can better implement the practices. And I’m not alone in my love. It has an average of 4.9 stars on Amazon and people like Dr. Frederik G. Pferdt, Google’s Chief Innovation Evangelist and many other thought leaders have publicly praised the book.
So, if the most innovative companies tend to have the best bottom lines financially, and the technology of idea creation described in this book can have positive impacts on virtually EVERY area of your life, I’m guessing you’ll want to listen in!
Book link: amzn.to/3P6UE6c This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#146 The Power of Awe in 15 Seconds | Michael Amster, MD
#145 Getting Out of Your Way and Getting More Love By Knowing Your Parts | Toni Herbine-Blank, MFT
Yet, as we all know, relationships can be super challenging, and they tend to require practice, humility, resilience, and learning. Worse still, we can easily get in our own way and sabotage our love connections by using our voices in ways that we think will protect us, only to discover that we’ve actually broken a bridge rather than strengthened it.
Fortunately, relationship therapy has come a long way, and many thought leaders have helped move the ball forward with exceptional insights and tips. One of the most inspiring models for relationship therapy I’ve ever seen comes from the field of Internal Family Systems, also known as IFS. At first, understanding IFS may seem daunting but, by the time you’re done with this episode, I’m confident you’ll have a good basic grasp of the model and how it can help you in your relationships.
My brilliant guest, Toni Herbine-Blank, MFT (https://toniherbineblank.com/), is a relationship therapist who found a way to weave the IFS model in a way to help couples connect more fully. She calls the model Intimacy From the Inside Out (IFIO), and I love it. She is also the co-author of two books on how to perform this type of relationship therapy and she trains therapists all over the world in this model.
So, listen in, as Toni and I talk about how to get out of your own way to enjoy Intimacy From the Inside Out!
Book Link: amzn.to/3Cn7Dcz This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#144 Why Donuts Have Holes & When Less Is More | Leidy Klotz, Ph.D.
For most of us, I’m guessing the answer is addition.
While you may think it’s because we learn addition before subtraction, another part of the answer is less apparent. For our survival, we have evolved to seek more and we have an aversion to the idea of less.
Yet, all of us know that less truly can be more. When is that true? When is that not true? How can we override our tendencies to acquire when it’s not good for us? And, related to less being more, why do donuts have holes?
My expert guest answers these, and many other questions related to the science of less being more. Leidy Klotz, Ph.D. (https://www.leidyklotz.com/) is a professor at the University of Virginia’s Schools of Engineering, Architecture, and Business where he’s part of an initiative merging the fields of engineering AND behavioral science. He’s also the author of a book I loved called Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less. Thought leaders of all types love the book, including SuperPsyched guest, Dr. Barry Schwartz, who said, “Subtract is simply brilliant.”
So, listen in as Leidy and I have an engaging and user-friendly conversation about the untapped science of less.
Book Link: amzn.to/3Xibstj This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#143 The Case for Spiritually Intelligent Leadership (Regardless of Your Spiritual Beliefs) | Yosi Amram, PhD
I have the pleasure of working with many leaders in Silicon Valley. And among the things that are discussed in my office, the quality of leadership shows up a lot. Stories emerge when leaders are kind and inspirational. And, of course, stories emerge in toxic ways when leaders are unkind, unconscious, or even bullies.
I have taken great interest in how leaders step into their roles. Not only does it impact the people in their company, but their actions may have ripple effects that go far beyond the walls of the enterprise they serve and into the homes of employees and local communities. Over the last several decades, I think most of us have come to understand the impact that leaders emotional intelligence can have on our collective performance and individual wellbeing.
And that is why I am so glad to host my friend and colleague, Dr. Yosi, Amram (https://intelligensi.com/). Yosi has been a leader in various capacities throughout his career. He has been the CEO of two publicly traded companies, he has taught at Stanford graduate school of business, and in addition to being a licensed psychologist and an executive coach, he has a Harvard MBA and an MS in engineering from MIT. Indeed, Yosi is the right person to talk to us about spiritual intelligence and how it can impact leadership regardless of one’s religious leanings. Yosi’s and other research has shown that the qualities of spiritual intelligence have a tremendous business payoff in terms of organizational productivity, team morale, employee commitment, as well as financial performance. Most impressive, it can be implemented by anyone even if they are atheists. In fact, spiritual leadership qualities and intelligences are not at all dependent on one’s religious leanings and you will hear how and why that is the case.
Also promising is that research shows Spiritual Intelligence contributes to many other domains of functioning beyond leadership that I believe matter to us all, including satisfaction with life, quality of life, better self-care, general health, happiness, work productivity, job satisfaction, and resilience to name just a few.
So, if those measures are important to you—and I’m guessing they are—then listen in as Yosi and I discuss the compelling case for spiritually intelligent leadership.
#142 - The Secrets of Reading People | Blake Eastman
If you could have the magical power to read people, what they were thinking and feeling, would you want that ability? I imagine it’d be a mixed blessing. There are times when we really want to be able to read people better. And… there may be times when ignorance is bliss!
Regardless, it is important to improve our skills at following cues, reading nonverbal behavioral patterns, and finding relevant ways to factor in context to better understand people, as you’ll soon hear.
My guest, Blake Eastman (https://www.nonverbalgroup.com/), describes three focal points of his life as: poker, psychology, and nonverbal behavior. He has taught at the college level, he has played poker professionally, and he’s coached professional poker players on how to read people to increase the likelihood of winning.
I am certain you will find him and his subject fascinating as I did!
So, listen in as Blake shares his expertise with me on reading people.
#141 Work, Parent, Thrive | Yael Schonbrun, PhD
Add a full-time job to the mix and the pressures of modern life and, wow! It’s a miracle we can do it at all.
How can we balance all of life’s pressures, and be the best parents for our most precious beings, our children? And how can we do it and remain kind to ourselves? To answer these and many other related questions, I’m calling on one of my newest friends, Dr. Yael Schonbrun (https://yaelschonbrun.com/).
Yael is a psychologist in private practice, an assistant professor of psychology at Brown University, and the host of a podcast on which I recently guested called Psychologists Off the Clock.
She has also written a book I loved called Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection. Wharton Professor and bestselling author Adam Grant said, “As a working parent, it will save you more time than it takes to read.”
So, listen in as I converse with Yael, who shares how we can work, parent, and thrive!
Book link: amzn.to/3N4Uutn This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#140 New Year's Aspirations with AJ Jacobs & Me
And, if you’re like me, at some point you may have written out too many resolutions—or created too high a bar to reach within those resolutions—and found that few of them were actually carried out.
I decided to take a look at those resolutions and consider a potentially more effective way to write them. I’m talking about aspirations for growth instead of the rigidity of resolutions paired with small and reasonable improvements.
At least, that is the topic of this episode with my very special guest and friend of the podcast, New York Times, best-selling author, AJ Jacobs (https://ajjacobs.com/)! AJ is the author of great books like My Year of Living Biblically, The Know-It-All, and, most recently, The Puzzler. All are must-reads and I’ve read many of his books two or more times!
This is AJ’s third visit, and upon reflection, it is because he represents so much of what this podcast is all about from a values perspective. The values he seems to live by and rock in his life are the same ones I attempt to embed in my own life and certainly the drivers for this podcast. You’ll hear what they are but, to give you an advance on the four values which are: fun, curiosity, drive for excellence, and kindness. And these are the perfect fuel, I believe, for New Year’s Aspirations!
So, sit back and listen in as AJ and I have a jam session on New Year’s Aspirations.
The Puzzler: amzn.to/3N6CMWE This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#139 The Anatomy of Anxiety Made Simple | Ellen Vora, M.D.
Many times, we try to stuff it away, hoping to deny its existence, which doesn’t really work. As one of the biggest contributors to psychology, Carl Jung, once said, “What we resist persists" …and tends to get worse.”
So, my friends, it’s up to us to deal with this bugger.
While there many ways to deal with it, some are more helpful than others. How can we best attend to our anxiety? What are some simple lifestyle changes we can make that can reduce the negative impact it has on us? And how can we actually listen in to our anxiety to see what it might tell us?
Fortunately, I know just the person to ask these and so many other questions about anxiety! Dr. Ellen Vora (https://ellenvora.com/) is a Columbia University Medical School-educated psychiatrist who works in Manhattan. She’s the author of a book I devoured called The Anatomy of Anxiety about which Publisher’s Weekly said, “Readers struggling with anxiety would do well to seek out this first-rate primer."
I wholly agree. What’s more, Ellen creates a compelling argument that anxiety isn’t merely brain disorder but a whole-body condition and she addresses anxiety through that lens.
So, listen in as Ellen and I look at the Anatomy of Anxiety.
Book Link: amzn.to/43SOaw6 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).
#138 Sport Psychology Can Improve Your Life | Dr. Jonathan Fader
Years ago, when I came upon a textbook on sport psychology, my first thought was “Hey, this could be used in every area of life.”
The fact is, living has an abundance overlapping principles with sports and achieving your dreams—inside or outside sports.
As you might imagine, when I was introduced to Dr. Jonathan Fader (https://jonathanfader.com/), a clinical psychologist who specializes in sport psychology, I was over the moon excited to interview him. Most people call him Fader, and he works with entire teams and players in Major League Baseball, the National Football League, the National Basketball Association, as well as with the heroes in the Fire Department of New York, Rockstars and actors, and people of all walks of life, including heavy hitters in business.
And the principles of sport psychology inform his work with all of them.
He is also the author of a book I absolutely adored, called Life as Sport that I highly recommend, and he co-authored a book on motivational interviewing with former guest, Dr. Stephen Rollnick, also amazing and highly-recommended called Coaching Athletes to Be Their Best.
So, listen in as Fader and I converse, and he unpacks how sport psychology can improve your life.
Life as Sport amzn.to/462g1M0
Coaching Athletes to Be Their Best: amzn.to/3P9FRrE This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).