Tessa and Elliot Argue
By Tessa and Elliot
Tessa and Elliot ArgueDec 12, 2021
The time has come,' the Walrus said,
Indeed, after 178 episodes every single week (except last week) since we started in February of 2019 Tessa and I are saying goodbye to the podcast.
Nothing is wrong, we're just feeling that we are ready to move on to other projects and ideas we have.
We thought it best to go out doing what we normally do, talking about weird news stories we've found from the last few weeks.
I would like to say thank you, if you have ever listened, this has indeed been a work of love for both of us for over three years, and the fact that anyone has listened, ever, really does feel nice to know. It feels very bitter-sweet to say we're moving on, but I think we are both ready to tackle some new challenges.
We may be back though; never say never. We both have other projects we are working on, some in the podcast space, others that are not.
You can stay in touch with us through several means. We will also be sure to use this feed to update on any new shows we may come up with.
Tessa can be found on her:
Again, thank you.
So long, and thanks for all the fish
Velveeta releases a cheese-scented nail polish
We also talk about Google AIs coming to take over, weird things we do as a couple, and vabbing (it's pretty terrible).
Man who complained he had 'adult potato' thrown at his head
We also talk about mysterious rockets crashing into the Moon, Justin Timberlake apologizing, and Minority Report.
Man Says He Spent $8,500 a Year on Pepsi Addiction
It's episode 175!
Is this the end of the podcast? Despite my attempts to make it so probably not.
Exorcists complain too many possessed people to handle
Once again we are back with Michelle, to actually go over some news headlines this week.
Woman approved for affordable house, 29 years after applying
Michelle is back, and we have a huge pile of news headlines to get to this week!
What would a conversation be like between you and the walls of your room, if you were in the fifth grade? Well we have the answer, as we once again delve into a notebook Elliot's mother found while cleaning his childhood home. There's also a poem about dreams, as well as an essay about what Elliot did on winter break, that is 100% untrue.
Occult club rejected after complaint it may summon Satan
We also talk about the church of the flying spaghetti monster!
Dolly Parton to star in a musical on TikTok about Taco Bell's Mexican pizza
We also talk about balding men, cutting grass, and inappropriate Wordle solutions.
What if hair could talk?
My mom recently stumbled upon an old grade school notebook I had. Inside were writing scenarios that are straight gold. What are a couple of the samples about you ask? What if you could buy shoes for walking up walls? What if balls were square? Good stuff.
Heads up, we get super liberal this week
You've been warned. I actually cut most of the hard core stuff Tessa spouted for you snowflakes.
Woman marries pet cat in bid to stop landlord separating them
We also try Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew. It goes about how you'd expect.
Robber asked victim to ‘pinky promise’ not to report it
If this isn't our longest episode ever, it's certainly close. It's also the first episode that has had zero content editing done. Usually I'll do a little touch up here or there to get rid of the long pauses, but because I'm finishing this up about a half hour before my bedtime the night before release I've only made sure all the mic levels were ok. Please enjoy.
Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m
Tessa also shares the most bizarre item brought to school for show and tell.
Romance novelist who wrote ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ goes on trial in shooting of spouse
We are back with another episode of weird news headlines from the week.
The one where we take turns crying
Things get a bit emotional this week as Michelle joins us to play Let's Get Deep.
Miami spent $350,000 on new park lights, the park closes at sundown
We are also shocked to learn the Columbus ranks pretty highly in the best pizza town contest. There's also talk of cranes vs crocs, the winner was also surprising.
A snake is eyed as the culprit in man's death until cops realize it can't pull a trigger
Disney adults, Mike Tyson, and pickles also make our list of topics this week.
We made top 5 lists
We’re back with Michelle, and doing something a bit different this week. Instead of headlines from the news we made top 5 lists. Lists include Michelle’s top 5 break up songs, top 5 things kids have said to Tessa at work, and Elliot’s top five days of the week to give you an idea of who's lists are the best.
Also the show I was trying to think of is Legion, great show, worth a watch and it’s only 3 seasons long.
Student has legs amputated after eating leftover noodles
We also talk about which of our friends would help us cover up a murder, and what Elliot could do in order to seduce Tessa.
Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time
Other stories include 500 pound bears, women not being allowed to sit in front seats of cars, and naked men hiding in cars. Just to name a few topics. As always thanks for listening.
Biblically accurate angels, Google it
Do yourself a favor and good biblically accurate angels before listening, to help get a sense of what I was talking about this week on the podcast. We also talk of the origin of strawberry flavored milk, it's pretty nasty.
Also, we don't mention it, but today's episode marks our 3-year anniversary of starting the podcast. As always, thanks for giving it a listen, and here's to 3 more years.
Kesha, Who Once Had Sex With A Ghost, Will Now Hunt Ghosts For Discovery+
You have to listen close, but Tessa's one liners this week are pretty good. We are once again Michelle joins us to go through headlines from the news that made us laugh. Elliot also reads a letter he wrote to Michelle in 2006, and finally Michelle reads of a Tinder profile she's stumbled upon.
My dad and I pose nude together on OnlyFans — and we make a fortune
Other topics this week include bologna face masks, eating your finger nails, and Tessa telling me I get butt hurt about my dad.
Hasidic Jewish sects travel with blindfolds to prevent young men from seeing immodestly clad women
We are back with Michelle and back to sharing weird news headlines we've recently come across.
Man may never be able to use his penis again after his partner "accidentally" deployed expanding foam inside his urethra
Not a lot of stories this week, but we are joined once again by Michelle> I felt like the tangents were pretty good this week.
Residents urge Ann Arbor officials to decriminalize glue sniffing
Can you guess which part of the podcast I had to make a big cut because I actually started to piss my wife off?
Are cats psychopaths? New research says, probably
Thanks as always, see ya next week.
Dwayne Johnson Explains Why He Pees in Water Bottles During Workouts
While not quiet to three full years of Tessa and Elliot Argue, we are celebrating 150 episodes this week. Thanks for listening.
We get deep, with Michelle
We had Michelle back again, this time to play Let's Get Deep.
Passenger claims woman breastfed cat on-board flight
Hey this came out on time this week. Thanks for catching it last week Jeff! Also stay after the end song for a post credits thing from Tessa.
Let's Get Deep, the card game
This week Tessa and Elliot play the card game Let's Get Deep. It's not really a game, and Elliot makes Tessa cry.
Do you know these new age dating terms?
We were out of town last week, but we brought our podcasting stuff with us, and decided to record an episode with my cousin Aubree and her husband Cody. A good time was had by all, except Tessa who was chewing on ice cubes for most of the episode.
Fans Petition ‘Wicked’ Producers to Not Cast James Corden in Movie Adaptation
Come listen to Tessa explain why the Ducktales movie is the reason she's afraid of scorpions.
Thanksgiving horror stories
We take a break from our usual format to bring you a Thanksgiving themed episode, and there's plenty of arguing to be had.
Arby's Is Launching a French Fry Flavored Vodka
I found the trailer I was talking about this week (well kinda). I definitely know the segment I was talking about was in a full length trailer, but I found a trailer clip from tv that has the clip in it. Is it worth your time to see what I was talking about? No.
ANyway thanks for listening, come back next week.
Man arrested for trying to rob Florida Waffle House with finger guns
Meet the 15-year-old blind quarterback hoping to reach the NFL
As always, thanks for listening, tell a friend about the show.
Officials hope to capture loose zebras with new plan involving even more zebras
Google is the most searched word on Bing
Let me know if you read this.
40% of people would have sex with a robot, study exclaims
As always, thanks for listening
Bishop quits church after falling in love with satanic erotica writer
Michelle stops by and brings a letter I wrote to her back when we were in college (somewhere around 2006) and we have a good laugh at my expense. Then we get back to funny news headlines we've found.
No catchy title this week
Can't find the list of news stories I used, refuse to re-listen to the episode to find one, so this is what you get.
The case of the Balloon Man
This week we try out some two minute mysteries.
Did this really happen?
We have Michelle back to play a new game called, did this really happen?
OnlyFans model says naked strip videos are what 'God wants her to do'
Thanks for listening
AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage
Stay past the closing song for bonus content!
Man’s handwriting was so bad bank staff didn’t know he was trying to rob them
No more Michelle! Back to just the two of us being morons.
Am I the A-hole, again
Michelle didn't take the hint, so she stuck around last week and recorded another episode with us, this time looking at some am I the asshole reddit threads.
Brothers killed by train in Charlotte were mourning 3rd brother struck at same spot last week
How hard did the girls laugh about this headline this week? More than you should, that's for sure. This week Michelle joins us to talk about wierd news headlines.