The Maven's Private Diaries

Welcome to the Maven’s Private Diaries. My guest today is Samuel Hunter who I met during the recording of my appearance on SBS Insight talking about Midlife Sexual Awakenings. Samuel was there to discuss his experience as a sex worker. 

Samuel has had a varied working life. He’s been a mower man, a videographer, specialist salesman in the mining industry and before COVID experienced a moment that changed his life. Samuel made the ultimate career switch and became a sex worker. 

In our chat we explored sex and disability, emotional celibacy, female orgasm, movies to watch, and surprisingly, Samuel’s own personal experience of body shaming and how he feels about his ‘dad bod’.

Samuel is certainly not a ‘dial-a-dick’ sex worker and is someone I would recommend to women who need a safe space to explore and reconnect with their sexuality. 

I admire Samuel greatly. Make sure you explore his website and the links to recommended viewing.

I hope you enjoy this special chat. I certainly did.

Websites:

• SamuelHunterEscort.com
• Touchingbase.org

Documentary and Movies to watch:

• How to Please a Woman 

• Good Luck to you, Leo Grande (starring Emma Thompson)

• ScarletRoad.com.au - Impassioned about freedom of sexual expression, sex worker Rachel Wotton has become highly specialised in working with clients with disability.

Today, we have an inspiring guest, Candice Care-Unger, the founder of Care Rehab. Candice is a passionate advocate for people with disabilities and she is here to share her story and talk about the importance of sexual rehabilitation for people with acquired disabilities.

This inspired her to start her own organization, Care Rehab, which is dedicated to helping people with disabilities reclaim their sexual lives. Candice's organization provides information, training,  support and counseling for people with disabilities, and their partners, to help them overcome the physical and emotional challenges that can arise after an injury or illness.

Through her work, Candice has helped countless individuals with disabilities to understand that having an acquired disability does not mean the end of their sex life. Instead, it is a new opportunity to explore new ways of intimacy, pleasure and connection.

Visit the Care Rehab website for updates on educational resources such as ‘Talking to your child about sex after spinal cord injury’ and ‘Talking about Sex in Disability - how to bring it up and then what?’

www.carerehab.com.au

Book mentioned by Candice about neuroplasticity to rewire our brains: 

The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge, MD

An astonishing new scientific discovery called neuroplasticity is overthrowing the centuries-old notion that the adult human brain is fixed and unchanging. It is, instead, able to change its own structure and function, even into old age.

Psychiatrist and researcher Norman Doidge, MD, travelled around the United States to meet the brilliant scientists championing neuroplasticity, and the people whose lives they've transformed - people whose mental limitations or brain damage were previously seen as unalterable, and whose conditions had long been dismissed as hopeless.

We see a woman born with half a brain that rewired itself to work as a whole; a woman labeled retarded who cured her deficits with brain exercises and now cures those of others; blind people who learn to see; learning disorders cured; IQs raised; ageing brains rejuvenated; stroke patients recovering their faculties; children with cerebral palsy learning to move more gracefully; entrenched depression and anxiety disappearing; and lifelong character traits changed.

Doidge takes us onto terrain that might seem fantastic. We learn that our thoughts can switch our genes on and off, altering our brain anatomy. We learn how people of average intelligence can, with brain exercises, improve their cognition and perception, develop muscle strength, or learn to play a musical instrument - simply by imagining doing so.

Using personal stories from the heart of this neuroplasticity revolution, Dr Doidge has written an immensely moving, inspiring book that will permanently alter the way we look at our brains, human nature, and human potential. (Description from www.Booktopia.com.au)

**Warning:  You might need a lie down after this episode.  ⁠

From learning how to roller skate to learning how to give a blow job, you will LOVE this chat with Kate Toon!⁠

⁠I'm not going to give away too much about this chat other than to say you will be captivated and you will chuckle throughout.  If you don't, please let me know why this chat didn't float your boat!⁠

www.katetoon.com

Recommended reading and viewing: 

Forever by Judy Blume

Sex In The City (the original series)

This podcast episode has a poll and a question for you to answer. We hope that you will give us, and our listeners, some insight. Responses are anonymous but our Maven will gladly share her responses when the poll closes.

• Have you ever faked an orgasm?
• What changes are you making in your life as you age?

Faith Agugu is an Australian leader in the global positive ageing movement, which seeks to champion 50+ women and re-define how they approach ageing.

As a mental health professional and founder of the Silver Sirens annual event and online resources, Faith is well-positioned to help women live their best life after 50.

Who are Silver Sirens? 

They are women 50+.

■ They are undergoing major life changes and making challenging life

choices to create the life they want to live.

■ Some are choosing more autonomy to fulfill their potential beyond the traditional roles of wives, mothers,

and grandmothers.

■ Others have independent children, giving them more time to focus on exploring their own dreams and desires.

■ Many are choosing to remain single and live alone.

■ Each woman has in common the desire to explore her agency and the opportunity to fulfill her full potential.

■ Their priority used to be taking care of others; now they seek to focus on their own development and potential.

Follow www.silversirens.org for events and resources to help you discover your potential.

The fabulous Georgia Lashman aka Confessions of a G Cup on Instagram is our next guest!

Georgia founded a body positivity event called The Big Boobie Bash and has a mission to show women, of all shapes and sizes, that they are indeed beautiful just as they are.

Through Georgia's event, I was fortunate to meet and interview two of her guests, Ellie Sedgwick (500 Vulvas) and Mya Dia Monte (The Power of Burlesque), make sure you check those episodes out as well!

I have been an admirer of burlesque for many years and is something that I have wanted to try. I was fortunate to meet Mya Dia Monte at an event and I am delighted that Mya has agreed to chat with me on The Maven's Private Diaries.

We covered many topics such as breast cancer awareness, pap smears, body positivity, confidence and even water yoga!

You will have to listen to the episode for all the details! 

These are the links to the topics we chatted about.

Mya's dress: https://thenylonswish.com/

The Big Boobie Bash, hosted by Georgia Lashman (soon to be on The Maven's Private Diaries as well!) 

IG: @confessions_of_a_gcup

Jacqueline Furey, burlesque performer: IG @jacqueline_furey

Water yoga with Anne Noonan, the Silver Yogi: https://www.annenoonan.com.au/

Do you have a question you would like answered by myself and Mya?  Send it through to: hello@thespicyboudoir.com 

Remember to abide by manners.

I met Ellie Sedgwick at The Big Boobie Bash hosted by Georgia Lashman aka Confessions of a G Cup on Instagram. 

I was quite taken by Ellie's story of vulval dysmorphia which appears to be have been triggered by an ignorant teenage boy at high school when he slipped her a note asking 'Are you an innie or an outtie?'.  Since that moment, Ellie felt shame about her vulva and even went to see a plastic surgeon to have it changed. Thankfully, the surgeon had ethical values and talked Ellie around to thinking differently about why she wanted a labioplasty. 

Today, Ellie is on a mission to educate all women about their vulva and to embrace the beauty and power of our bodies, just as they are.

Ellie is driving around Australia to photograph 500 vulvas of women from all ages and walks of life. Her plan is to create a coffee table book called 'Flip Through My Flaps' so that women everywhere can see just how varied and beautiful vulvas are.

For more information about Ellie's journey and to perhaps sign up as a vulva model, visit Ellie's website:

https://www.comfortableinmyskin.com.au/

Instagram: @comfortableinmyskin_

SHOW LESS

Tracy Minnoch-Nuku, is the founder of Sexy Ageing. I asked Tracy to join me in a conversation about midlife shaming because I had never heard of it and was quite shocked to learn that some women are shamed by others for how they choose to manage their menopause journey.  

Tracy’s goal is to create a community and information space for women who have questions and can’t find the answers to the effects that hormonal changes have on you. Tracey readily admits that she is NOT a doctor or an expert on hormonal health BUT knows people who are, and she connects people to those resources.  Tracy also hosts a podcast of the same name, Sexy Ageing, and speaks with incredibly inspirational women who are experiencing the changes, happy to share, and making their dreams come true into their 50’s and beyond. On the podcast you will find an incredible panel of speakers (me included!), please follow the links below: www.sexyageing.com Instagram: @sexyageing  

What is your menopause journey? Are you choosing to ride it out au natural because you don’t know what support is available or you’ve decided to go down the path of HRT? At the time of this podcast, I am not on HRT and only because myself and my GP feel I don’t need it at this stage. I have experienced a stage of intense brain fog where I couldn’t remember things, my concentration was poor and I felt out of kilter. My blood results picked up my thyroid was underactive and I have commenced medication which had an almost instant effect. I continue to monitor my menopause journey and feel fortunate that I have a very supportive and progressive GP (and a wonderful supportive partner). If you’re not feeling supported by your GP, I urge you to speak up to them and if needed, find yourself a new one.  

Thanks for tuning in!  Please like and share the love.

All the best, Susan, The Maven

I truly believe that how we feel about ourselves impacts on our sexual confidence and that's why I was very interested in reading Beautiful Unique Faces. I also wanted to understand why women (particularly people in reality TV shows), decide to have their lips and cheeks overdone. I just don't get it!  The book does explain this to me and now I feel compassion for those women.

This episode is for everyone and anyone. Particularly those who are considering having cosmetic procedures such as botox and dermal fillers. 

I had the good fortune to speak with Anita East, author of Beautiful Unique Faces. Anita is a professional actress turned nurse practitioner in the cosmetic medicine industry. In this episode, we touch on multiple topics that Anita covers in her book.

• Oxytocin is troll bait
• Strategies to change your mindset and tap into your inner power of practice, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
• Princesses and Queens
• The secret knowledge that lives within us, that we can only find when we stop paying attention to external factors.
• 'Earn the right to sing'
• Comparing yourself to others

And you know what?  If ever you have doubts about your beauty, read this book.  You will then realise that you ARE beautiful.  

For further information:

https://anitaeast.com.au/shop/product/beautiful-unique-faces-book

In this episode, I’m going to talk about how celibacy…or rather…'abstinence from having orgasms'…helps me to maintain my ability to achieve orgasm. 

Yes…that’s right. Abstinence strengthens my ability to orgasm as well as influences the intensity.  Sounds incredible doesn't?

Stick around to the end because I’m going to stand on my box of vibrators and deliver a moral to my story.

Despite being a person who is very comfortable with their sexuality and talking about sex, I have never been to a workshop to explore and develop my sexual persona and knowledge.

That is about to change with my participation in workshops conducted by the good people from Curious Creatures.  In this episode, I am speaking with one of the facilitators, Roger Butler, about what to expect and what to wear.

My partner and I will be attending 'Fun Little Sex Games' and 'Kink 101'. We're looking forward to sharing this experience together.

Stay tuned to the podcast as I'll be speaking with Roger again next week when I debrief with him about our learnings.

Thank you for listening!

Warm regards,

Susan, The Maven

My tips for women when dating in the 'adult' online dating-sphere.

You will hear how I approached writing my profile and I hope you find some valuable lessons in how to write a profile that will attract the right person.

Unlike some, I chose to date on an adult site because I could not find mature, like-minded people on the more conservative sites.

There will be a guide for men in the future too.  

Regards,

Susan, The Maven

Wrinkles are important and not just to women seeking a youthful appearance.

My wrinkles mean something that is unique to my life and to erase them would rub out precious memories. Doesn't mean I don't moisturize though, no one likes dry, itchy skin.

What do your wrinkles mean to you?

This episode is dedicated to my Mother, Maggie Tabberer and Joan Price.

I am not a porn star. 

I'm a woman who embraces life with kindness, compassion, empathy and lots of bloody good sex.

Not looking for fame, just looking to help others lose their fear to try something different in life - except don't do drugs, that shit is bad for you. This trailer will give you an idea of what topics you'll find in my diaries.

Remember these two things:

Living a life in fear is a life half lived - Anonymous

What would life be if we didn't have courage to attempt anything? - Vincent Van Gogh

I hold these quotes close to my heart and they give me strength to be me. You can too.

Love and light.

The Maven