The American MilSpouse

Ashley Gutermuth is a stand-up comedian and actor who gives excellent advice to military spouses on the internet. Ashley is a fellow spouse. She is also the winner of the Tonight Show's Seinfeld challenge, which is, we think, just super cool. She does such a great job of offering hilarious advice for military spouses and helps you remember to take it all in stride.

Do you embrace the craziness of life through comedy? Don't miss this episode as we chat with Ashley Gutermuth about how she uses many online platforms to encourage, educate and influence through humor. Ashley shares her insight about embracing the lifestyle of being a milspouse and setting boundaries, and combatting negative feedback.

If you have ever felt like you need to laugh at the chaos of being a milspouse, this episode is for you. I can't wait to hear what you think!

"You have to be upfront about everything. Being upfront about it and addressing it is how you move forward. Hiding it and pretending like things don't exist doesn't get us anywhere." - Ashley Gutermuth.

Highlights from this episode include:

• Introducing Ashley G (0:21)
• Connecting with Ashley (1:27)
• Creating good, fun comedy (2:53)
• Embracing the lifestyle of being a milspouse (6:27)
• Combatting comments online (12:30)
• Respecting privacy while still creating content (18:30)
• Keeping content with Public Affairs (23:44)
• Influencing through humor (28:06)
• Avoiding being a hoarder and the wardrobe inventory (31:16)
• Ashley's boundaries in her comedy (36:15)
• Ashley's advice to other milspouses (40:09)
• The significance of being a milspouse (44:31)
• The reservist lifestyle (47:49)
• Using the platforms of today to serve (51:14)
  

Before you slide over to binge-watch Ashley's content, I would love to know if you loved this episode and if Ashley's insight has helped you find community in those who can find humor in the day-to-day of being a milspouse! Join me on social!

Connect with Ashley

Emily Probst is an Air Force spouse, mother, former teacher, and rockstar realtor. Emily is the one who helped us find our house in Florida, and she is such a pro! Emily and her family's journey has been unique, and I can't wait for you to hear all about it.

Don't miss this episode as Emily and I talk about how life is crazy and ever-changing, what it's like being a working mom and wife, balancing the MILSpouse community, and balancing that shift in roles, especially as you go back into the workforce.

This episode is for you if you are ready to feel more aligned with your schedule and roles or want more information on VA loans!

Highlights from today include:

• About Emily (3:02)
• Transitioning into Real Estate (9:26)
• Serving military families (10:55)
• Sanity and identities of a MILSpouse (12:23)
• Finding outlets during downtime (16:26)
• Identifying and balancing your capacities (17:38)
• Buying a house with Emily during uncertain times (22:18)
• Helping first time home buyers (24:32)
• Takeaways for buying a house right now (26:11)
• Conventional loan vs. VA loan (29:23)
• VA appraisals (31:27)
• The limits and eligibility for a VA loan (36:04)
• The balance between real estate and being a MILSpouse (43:14)
• Transforming our roles and schedules (46:14)
• Getting everything done as a MILSpouse (50:57)
• Communicating to work together (56:24)
• Carving out alone time (1:00:39)
• Setting expectations to align schedules (1:01:48)
• Rapid-fire questions (1:03:26)

I told you Emily is a rockstar! How do you feel your schedule and relationship are aligning? I hope that you loved this episode as much as I do. I would love to know! Join me on social!

Connect with Emily

Today's episode is the first of a new collaboration journey that the American MilSpouse podcast is taking with Wives of the Air Force, or WAFs as they're affectionately known. If you think their voices sound familiar, you're right! They were on the podcast early last year. We will dive into how we have managed our mental health and some feedback that we've gotten from you.

Jen and Kirst are Air Force spouses, working moms, and the faces of @wivesoftheairforce. WAFs started as a blog meant to serve as a resource for Air Force spouses. Check out their first episode on The American MilSpouse linked below.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Jen, Kirst, and I sit down and discuss current events, things going on in Ukraine, and what that's looked and felt like for us. You don't want to miss this special episode.

Highlights from today include:

• About Jen & Kirst (3:02)
• Collaborating and finding a community (5:53)
• Trying to live normally even with insight (8:02)
• Obligation to stay informed of current events (10:00)
• Being grateful and spreading positivity (12:03)
• Being a trusted person to give digestible information (16:52)
• Social media and monitoring mental and emotional health (21:31)
• Face to face conversations are an opportunity for learning and growth (27:40)
• Navigating how accessible military families are to other people (30:08)
• Communicating with your partner and being a team (33:25)
• What can you control? (34:56)
• Connecting in a community where the struggles are so different (38:54)
• Making sense of the hard (42:27)
• The impact on different levels of being a military spouse (44:36)
• Being sensitive about what information you're sharing on social media (47:14)
• Understanding what they need not understand it as a helper (49:40)
• Friends who understand to hold space for you when you're ready (53:18)
• One takeaway that's helping Jen and Kirst walk through this time (58:08)

What did you think about today's episode? I hope that you love it as much as we do! We would love to know! Join us on social and let us know!

Resources mentioned 

Sarah Lenox is an active duty Army spouse, a mom, and an advocate with the armed forces housing advocates organization. Her husband, a paratrooper and almost three-year-old son, is stationed in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Today Sarah will share her quite harrowing experience with MHPI housing. She shares some major struggles with MHPI and her involvement with AHFA.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as it's incredibly insightful as Sarah shares all that AHFA is doing to help make this better for our military community.

Highlights from today's episode:

• About Sarah (1:14)
• Moving in, chronic respiratory issues, and unanswered questions (2:26)
• Trying to find answers, displacement, and reaching out to AHFA (11:28)
• Suspicions were never confirmed, and problems affecting readiness (15:05)
• Emotionally exhausted and feeling helpless (19:07)
• AHFA advocate and how this nonprofit helps the military community (21:15)
• AHFA advocates for more than environmental hazards (24:52)
• Military housing being exempt from Evans Law (27:00)
• PCS homelessness (28:52)
• The end goal of AHFA (32:06)
• The military community isn't siloed anymore with technology (35:21)
• How can the military community help (36:53)
• Rapid Fire (40:55)

Did you know about AHFA before today's episode? Have you had an experience like Sarah's? I would love to know! Join me on social and chat about it over the next four weeks.

Resources Mentioned

Today's episode is special as my husband takes the role of host, and I am the guest for this month.

Elizabeth Smith is an Air Force spouse, an account manager for a digital marketing company, a podcaster, and last but not least, a mother. Kyle and I have been married for eight years and have two amazing daughters. Today, we will talk about this past year, where we are now compared to where we were a year ago, the pandemic, and the loss of Kyle's dad.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as we give you a little peek into us and maybe learn something new about me.

Highlights from today with Kyle and I include:

• Recap of this past year (1:24)
• The transition back into full-time work (3:45)
• Different generational pressures (8:24)
• Big decisions and staying in the Air Force (13:04)
• Hummingbird of passions (18:24)
• Do the ads popping up on your phone come from listening to you? (24:59)
• Self-care, work-life balance and challenges at home (27:36)
• Losing Kyle's dad and the perspective from being a military spouse (33:38)
• Rapid Fire (41:57)

This episode is truly a special one, such a fun opportunity to sit with Kyle for an hour uninterrupted and just chat. I loved it so much. Did you learn anything new? Did you enjoy having Kyle on as the host? I would love to know! Join me on social and chat about it over the next four weeks.

Monica McCool is an Air Force spouse, nurse, and mother. Monica and I met when our husbands were both in grad school in Boston, and fun fact, she and I had probably one of the lowest water bills for our unit. From investment baking on Wall Street to nursing - she's not just any nurse; she is a pediatric cardiac ICU nurse and helps the littlest patients. Monica's one of my best friends in the world, and I'm excited to jump into the conversation with her today.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Monica shares how she balances everything, what sometimes doesn't make the cut, and why that happens.

Highlights from today with Monica include:

• A story about Monica (:04)
• Where military life has taken her and her family (2:42)
• Biggest surprises for Monica about military life (4:34)
• Career pivots and moves (12:10)
• How she balances it all (23:39)
• The effects of the pandemic on being social (31:45)
• How has this impacted her feeling of community and her support system (33:41)
• Rapid Fire (39:42)

Isn't Monica fun? I loved catching up with her and hearing about her transition from Wall Street to nurse. Do you relate to Monica and Chris? Do you love hosting game nights, and your spouse doesn't? I would love to know! Join me on social and chat about it over the next four weeks.

Angelina is a Lieutenant Colonel graduated Commander, a mom of two, and a spouse. Her husband is an F-15E pilot and weapons officer. They have been in the Air Force for 18 years.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Angelina shares with us her experience with postpartum depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations. A heavy episode, but one that is so valuable. Angelina discusses parts of what she walked through that she didn't necessarily know how to put a name to until she heard someone else talk about it. Maybe you will relate to her story or know someone going through any of these experiences.

In today's episode, Angelina and I discuss

• How she and her husband met (1:59)
• Where military life has taken them (2:25)
• Trying to have kids, going to school, and living on a boat (3:39)
• Writing about her severe postpartum depression (7:47)
• The difficulty in saying it out loud (14:45)
• Normalizing sharing the challenging and scary (19:01)
• Be persistent and be patient (21:33)
• What led Angelina to write about her experience (27:23)
• The response when she shared (35:15)
• What Angelina wants you to know if you are struggling or know someone who is (38:49)
• Changing what strength looks like (43:30)
• Rapid Fire (44:51)

I hope you found today's episode with Angelina and hearing her story and experience with postpartum depression and anxiety helpful. Maybe you will relate to her story or know someone going through any of these experiences.

Resource mentioned

Tristin is an Air Force spouse, a mom of two, and is from the Midwest. She comes from a family of nine kids, where she is the second oldest. Tristin married her high school sweetheart, and they've been together for 20 years. She's a dear friend currently stationed in Florida, and we were able to do this interview in person!

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Tristin shares with us what it was like to return to the workforce after eight years of being a stay-at-home mom. We'll also dive into some critical issues our education system faces, and the challenges teachers face.

In today's episode, Tristin shares

• Tristin's military life adventure (2:08)
• Teaching English to high school students (3:06)
• From feeling obligated to work to follow her passion (7:21)
• Teaching life at an inner-city school (9:05)
• Education vs. cultural expectation (10:58)
• Education as a ticket to somewhere else or a finish line (12:21)
• Learning and not teaching the way Tristin was taught (14:20)
• Trials of having a baby and military life (17:53)
• Baby blues (22:37)
• The guilt of not playing with your children (26:49)
• Medical issues and going back to school (28:29)
• Every classroom and generation is different (31:53)
• Going back to work after being at home (33:00)
• Being emotionally invested in the students you teach (35:38)
• Having a strong leader in your child's education (37:56)
• Stay at home mom to work transition (39:36)
• Learning and teaching herself dramatically changed from pre to post kids (40:49)
• Measurable progress (44:23)
• How different life is now vs. her upbringing (47:28)
• Learning to parent all over again (51:04)
• Advice for military spouses (52:32)
• You might be the person someone else needs (55:58)
• Rapid-fire section (57:06)

I hope you enjoyed today's episode with Tristin learning what it was like to return to the workforce after eight years of being a stay-at-home mom and about some critical issues our education system faces and the challenges teachers face.

Jasmine is the wife of a veteran, mom, educator, and Co-CEO of Serenity Nail Polish. She's been an educator for eight years and a mother to a four-year-old.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Jasmine shares with us what it was like to be a military spouse and not lose herself while supporting her husband. We'll also dive into the inspiration for serenity nail polish and the fantastic story about her and her daughter Serenity.

In today's episode, Jasmine shares

• Being a social justice educator (1:40)
• Disparity examples in education (3:12)
• What is Serenity Nail Polish (5:21)
• Nail polish providing sacred time (9:51)
• Serenity Nail Polish's growth (11:44)
• Motherhood, teaching, the business - Managing it all (14:03)
• Her military spouse journey (22:13)
• Adjustments and wanting more (30:17)
• The rest of Jasmine's military spouse career (35:26)
• Transitioning through Covid (38:40)
• Advice to military spouses (40:33)
• One thing about military spouse life to civilians (40:53)
• Rapid-fire section (41:43)

I hope that you enjoyed today's episode with Jasmine. What an inspiring story of not losing sight of who you are and what you want to do.

Connect with Jasmine

Dr. Lindsay Cavanagh is a Navy spouse, mom, clinical psychologist, and military marriage coach stationed in Lisbon, Portugal. She and her husband have been together for thirteen years, married for eight, and have a three-year-old daughter.

Be sure to tune in to this episode as Dr. Cavanagh shares tips for working through military marriages and why she thinks military spouses are unlike any other group of people.

In today's episode, Dr. Cavanagh shares

• Arriving in Portugal as Covid lockdown happened (2:41)
• Dr. Cavanagh talks about working (4:17)
• Her time as a military psychologist (6:05)
• Military spouses unlike any other group of people (9:11)
• Perseverance of a military spouse (12:31)
• Showing emotions, feeling resentful, and changing jobs (15:54)
• Social media and the highlight reels of life (20:28)
• Why she created Married to Military podcast (22:21)
• Creating spaces for military spouses to know they aren't the only ones (24:01)
• Feeling different emotions but being productive (25:31)
• Tips for working through military marriages (27:59)
• How to fight well (31:50)
• Applying the guidelines even when her spouse is deployed (36:46)
• Making new friends is like dating (41:45)
• Rapid-fire section

Isn't Dr. Cavanagh amazing? This episode was fantastic, and I loved the tips she shared for working through military marriages and how we can feel our emotions but be productive. What was your biggest takeaway? I'd love to know; share it with me on social media.

Connect with Dr. Lindsay Cavanagh

Esther is a Marine spouse, mom, and CEO who has helped thousands of military spouses launch their work from home and PCF-proof careers as a virtual assistant.

Be sure to tune in to this episode and hear what it was like living in Bali and how Esther took her passion and turned it into her purpose.

In today's episode, Esther shares

• Defining a virtual assistant and what that career looks like (2:45)
• Advocating for military spouses lifestyle needs (7:28)
• The versatility that Virtual Assistance offers based on your background or expertise (10:02)
• Her passion led to her purpose (12:09)
• Inspiration to keep going (13:43)
• What is the 90 day VA (18:02)
• Training to hired (20:07)
• Not just another agency model, but a community (21:45)
• Dig deep into your passion and not be stuck in your career (22:42)
• Husband, son, another child on the way, and running a business - how to manage it all (24:02)
• Finding YOUR metric of success and what you want your lifestyle to be (28:47)
• There are seasons of grind and hustle (33:35)
• Multiple traumatic brain injuries and moving to Bali (35:08)
• Rapid-fire section (38:43)

I hope that you enjoyed today's episode with Esther. What a fantastic story of how you can turn your passion into your purpose.

Connect with Esther

Courtney is a pediatric nurse and navy spouse currently living in Washington with her husband and pup. What I loved so much about my conversation with Courtney is that we didn't necessarily have a specific topic in mind to discuss beyond diving into MilSpouse life and what that has looked like for her. We ended up finding common ground in the fact we have both been married before. It was such a great reminder that there are always new people to share things with and you never know what you'll have in common with someone. The reality is that this is a heavy subject. Neither of us walk through the entire emotional process that comes with something like this so I hope it's clear that, while we are shedding light on a bit of what this is like, we certainly both have larger stories full of a lot of nuance. Courtney also runs an awesome online book club and I'm including the details below!

Erica is a Gold Star spouse and the founder of Gold Star Family Resources. I am incredibly thankful to Erica for sharing her story with us. It is heartbreaking, powerful, and truly inspiring. Erica has walked through so many moments we all know are possible but hope to never face. After losing her husband, USMC Major James Brophy in a training mishap in late 2018 Erica has gone on to serve as an invaluable resource to other Gold Star families.⁠

• Please take a moment to support Erica by following @goldstarfamilyresources on social media.⁠ 
• www.goldstarfamilyresources.com

Full service financial firm

American Tax and Financial Planners, LLC exclusively serves Military Survivors in all fifty states for no cost via VA sponsored Financial Point program.

Shermaine is a "military brat" and published author who shares her experiences growing up military. Her books are so great for anyone with a kid in the military. Reading her book and talking with her helped me feel truly thankful for the amazing things my own kids get to experience while they're growing up as military kids. @amazinglyshermaine has a lot of great advice for helping kids transition bases and thrive in an unconventional environment. Be sure to check out all of her books and download a free adult coloring book at her website below!

Shea is a fantastic advocate for military spouse employment. She supports her husband who is currently a test pilot student while also rocking her own career. In this episode Shea commiserates with all of us who have ever felt the struggle of finding employment as a military spouse. She also shares some great resources. Check out the links below and find more at www.theamericanmilspouse.com

Facebook Groups:
Milspouse Remote Work Collective
Career Military Spouses
Military Spouse Career & Education Support

Jessica is a strong mother and supportive wife to her Flight Test Engineer husband. She and her family live in Edwards, CA. In this episode Jess shares a bit about what it was like to be a young single mom as well as how her family blended and grew into the beautiful crew they are today. She also walks us through some of the struggles of completing a nursing program while accommodating the military lifestyle.