The Unsolicited Podcast
By The Unsolicited Podcast
The Unsolicited PodcastJun 02, 2023
I Don't Wanna Walk Anymore
We discuss whether or not Tommy can get away with using a wheelchair 'cause he's tired of walking.
Add some spice to your life with some ChatGPT.
Correctly Uploaded This Time
Did I do it right this time?
Whoops accidentally uploaded this to IDKAT. Here it is in the right spot!
174. We're Back! No Technical Failures Finally!!
I left in the soundcheck at the top to prove we had stuff working and then of course the theme song is all bunked up.
Vanderpump Is The New Super Bowl
So much drama!
Tommy HATES Scream 6
We talk Scream 6 and flaccid teeth.
In a Pickle Game
We play a harder version of Would You Rather called In a Pickle.
Hangin' in Holes
We're all down, but boy did a hole cheer us up.
Interrupting to Show You're Listening
We got tons of tiny internet and many more interruptions.
Don't Get Sued and Save Your Show
You hear the man. Save it. Don't get sued!
Tommy Partied with Jack's Parents
What a tale!
166. Tiny Internet But Huge Room
A late upload with horrible audio quality. How typical!
165. Jack Has a Cold, That's Why He Sounds Weird, Don't Write In
Seriously, don't. And no. Jack didn't write this... Zach did.
164. Jack Has a Wendys Baked Potato
Happy New Year (With the Worst Audio Ever)
Sorry, this is not how you start off 2023.
That Italian Place That Starts With a C
And some wild Billy Bush story
So Sorry, Our Bad
We made a boo boo.
Tommy's Vegas Adventure
Oh boy, he got in some TROUBLE.
Robe Parties and Trying to Get Deep
Jim joins us for just a sec on this one!
158. Sorry We Missed Last Week!
What did we talk about? I dunno. Enjoy.
157. The Clip Show
Thank you Nikolai Järvinin for sending us these clips!
156. This Podcast Sucks
Why does anyone listen to this? But do listen to the new Doohickeys song "This Town Sucks." Yes, Jack does write these episode descriptions.
155. Jack Played the Ryman
The Doohickeys done did it. And we talk about a bunch of other stuff.
154. Depression Is Better Today!
I don't remember what we blabbed on about in this one.
153. Tommy Wandered Into A Church
The gang is depressed!
152. I Wish My Internet Was Bigger
Tommy speaks to us through his tiny Vegas internet and we play "I Wish My Truck Was Bigger" by the Doohickeys.
151. Heavy on the Ish
150. Shirtless With Elf Shoes
We got a strange set up for this one.
149. Tommy's Officially Gone
We back, again, for a delayed time.
148. Tommy Is Moving to Vegas??
What in tarnation?
147. It's Just Jack And Kelly and It's Kelly's B-Day!
No Tommy. He's galavanting through Ireland right now.
146. We Got a Lot of Irons in the Fire
We finally could make our schedules align to record an ep! Woo!
145. The White House Is Calling w/ Jaclyn Marfuggi (Caprio?)
Jaclyn joins us for a lively discussion about school shootings! Yay!
144. High Standards and Morrissey
We're a little drunk and still talking over the internet.
143. Prisoners of Love and Kelly Has to Leave Early
Jack's mic sucks.
142. Not 143 Yet, But Close
We are finally back together!
141. Tommy Slept Through Another One
Scheduling this podcast is way harder than you think it is.
140. Making Dinner Plans for 15 Min
The title doesn't lie. We talk about we're gonna do after the podcast for like the first third of this episode. #SorryNotSorry #BlessUp
139. Manifesting Starlight
Kelly talks about manifesting. Jack's hungover. Tommy got pissed off by a twisted tooth stranger on the train.
138. We Address the Big Issues at Hand (The Oscars)
Yeah, that's right. We went there.
137. Scamming Scammers with a Scary Phone Call
Kelly tries scamming scammer and does that scammer CALL US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PODCAST??? Tune in to find out!
136. Kelly's Face Hurts and Tommy's Late (Over Zoom, Sorry)
We had to do this over Zoom so the sound sucks. Sorry. Technology failed us.
135. 3 Year Anniversary!
Wow, can't believe we made it this far.
134. Thinkin' About Ass Kickin' Shirts
Great minds, people!
133. Off Our Meds and a Surprise "Celebrity" Guest
We're talking over the Internet again. Something about antidepressants and third dates.
132. "Marry Me" and Jack's Wild Joshua Tree Story
We reconnect after a crazy Super Bowl weekend.
131. Valentines Day Plans and Double Downed Beef
Shorter ep 'cause Tommy showed up late and had a real estate investment class at 5:30pm.
130. Kelly Ate Bad Turkey And Tommy Doesn't Understand 14
The gang has to speak over the Internet once again because Kelly ate bad turkey and Jack uploaded this late because he forgot.
129. We're back! And Tommy has some mad Luis disses
Episodes 126-128 were pulled for a family emergency. Go to 51:00 for mad Luis disses.
124. The Poop Episode
Jack ate bad Chipotle and now has food poisoning, but UH OH! He has a date tonight too! Does Jack almost poop his pants during the podcast? Tune in to find out.
123. The Real Wedding Recap
It's much crazier than predicted...
122. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 3
We did it! We made it to 3! Tommy got married and everything's good! Halloween is comin up... oooooh spooookyyy...
121. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 2
This one's the best of the series. We hit our flow. Tommy called some folks but claimed they called him.
120. Banking for the Wedding Pt. 1
Tommy's headed out of town again so he can FINALLY get this wedding over with. So we recorded 3 in a row. See how we mentally fall apart over the next 2 episodes. They progressively get shorter, and that was not on purpose. Sorry!
119. No Headphones on a Couch Bed
We're finally back from our 2 week break and don't have much to show for it.
118. Tucchus Problems and the VMAs
Some spell tucchus with two "c's" and some spell tuchus with one. People can't agree. We don't discuss this in the ep. I just thought you'd want to know.
117. Tommy Showed Up and Brought His Tiny Internet With Him
Tommy made it! We talk about how we can't get cancelled and more people are coming out of the woodwork supporting not being naked around your pets... even Kelly's on board! Crazy times.
116. Tommy's Not Here
We stalled as long as we could've, but alas, he never showed. Listen to our shitty improvised songs making fun of him for 30 minutes.
115. East Coastin' and Songs About the Hole in Your Butt
Tommy went to a Phish concert and made some friends. Kelly has a new name for buttholes. Jack's there.
114. Lost at a Phish Show with a Balloon Totin' Uncle Fucker
This is a short one since Cap'n Tommy is back on the east coast with his tiny Internet.
113. Firey Joints and 90s Action Films Re-Imagined
We stopped recording like 15 minutes ago and I've already forgotten what we talked about. Something about hurting joints and the antimitter, antmeter, anteater scale? I don't know the word. I don't trust Tommy pronounced it correctly either.
112. Crinkled Emails and Oiled Butts
Tommy's back in the studio!
111. Call Me On Facebook
It's a good day for white guys, but a bad day for Internet connection. Probably our worst ep yet. Quality sure has dipped these last few, huh?
100. No Cell Service In The Ocean
Sorry for the rough intro. Tommy's tiny internet strikes again. And of course we pull another hang up prank on a listener
109. Opossum Attacks and Cold Calls
Tommy doesn't like this ep. Seemed fine to me.
108. Worst Episode Yet 'Cause of Tommy's Tiny Internet
This one sucks, but we laugh a lot.
107. Jack and Kelly Are Maybe Invited to the Wedding
Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.
106. The Ice Ball and the Soft Spots (feat. Kelly's Mom)
This is a good 'un!
105. Isaac the Plumber Returns!
Dats right. He back.
104. Small Mouths and Chubby Bunny
Idk what happens in this, as usual. Enjoy.
103. Jack and Gavinski Played Basketball? Gimme a break...
This is unbelievable!
102. Cute Buddy Banter
I dunno. Tommy says "cute buddy banter" at some point and it makes us laugh. We probably call it back a few times.
101. Dioxipan, Primsipin, and Other Suppositories
What did we talk about? Who the Hell knows. Something about the various drugs we take to get by and Tommy gets upset.
100. EPISODE 100 LIVE ZOOM!!!
Holy crap you guys, we did it. We accomplished our live zoom with a bunch of you guys. Thank you to everyone who showed up, and for all of those that couldn't make it- you were missed, but thanks for all your kind messages! Ep 100 video version will go up on youtube and we will start our Patreon next week. $2 a month!
99. It's The Final Countdown (to episode 100)
Alright you degenerate fucks, we're coming up on episode 100. We'll post a link in the Unsolicited Group on Saturday the 24th for a 4pm PT start. If you normally don't like calling cause you don't want to hear your voice or anything, feel free to join us and keep your camera and mics off. We want to hang and drank with y'all.
98. Peepeepoopoopenis (with Milynn Mapalo)
We have a very special guest in the studio this week, Kelly's future sister-in-law, Milynn! Plus, Tommy gets to speak to his bag piping nemesis, live on the air. Peepeepoopoopenis.
97. This Episode Sponsored by Mental Health
Another mind blowing episode where multiple times the questions refer to something we've already talked about. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
Tommy's back!!!!!!!!! We give Jack a new stage name and Kelly is tickled at a glorious call back...
95. One, Two, Three Cat. ...............CAT
It's our last coast to coast podcast (for now). Slight technical difficulties, but you guys don't care. BECAUSE WHO CARES ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE?
94. Tommy and Jack's Blood Feud
Tommy cuts himself off, we learn how he pronounces a prehistoric bird's name and we sent another asshole to heaven.
93. The Obituary Hour
**NEW SEGMENT ALERT!!!!**
Now that I know you guys read this shit, there's a lot more pressure. Now I'm frozen. A-N-X-I-E-T-Y.
Just listen, why dontcha?
92. Skinny Mirrors (with Forrest Shaw)
Sorry guys, we recorded this 2 days ago. I have no recollection of what happened. But no one reads this anyway, do they?
91. A Visit From The Boss (with Jim Jefferies)
Jim makes his debut to the degenerate fucks. Enjoy!
90. Jack's Food Reviews: The Musical
We start out with the most boring 10 minutes ever (time machine tip: skip it! or don't. Maybe it's not so bad). Most importantly, we learn about a guy who is letting down the family business. I hope he listens. Huge fan of his name.
89. Obredon Needs His Egg Cream
Another rousing edition of this or that: this week it's prescription drugs vs. elves from Lord of the Rings.
This game defeats Jack.
88. The Ass Kickin' T-Shirt
Tommy "got his ass kicked" by an insurrectionist. Epic.
87. Doctor Dentist Lawyer Cop
Gonna be real honest, the title is the only thing I remember from this episode. It will have to ALL be a surprise.
86. I've Got a Fever and The Only Presciption is More Controversy
OH YOU WANT CONTROVERSY? LISTEN HERE BUCKOS- WE GOT ALL THE CONTROVERSY YOU NEEEEEED.
85. Ferris Wheel Reviews
Tommy got a fiance, Kelly got ghosts and Jack's got a new mission- try to shit out as many in tact fruity pebbles as possible.
84. I'm Not A Plumber, But... (with Isaac Heckert)
Isaac Heckert joins us this week, but do not be confused- he is definitely NOT a plumber. He has a podcast that is doing a live Christmas Eve viewing of Home Alone with prizes. Check out @isaacheckert for more info!
83. Porn is weird? (with Luis Castillo)
Luis joins us again from *bleep* podcast to talk about, I dunno, whatever--and porn! Also this was a hell of an episode to upload because the files did not want to cooperate so please understand how much blood, sweat and tears went into this and share with your friends. Also, check luis out at @*Bleep* and his personal account @*bleep*.
82. Fans Only
What would you do if you found out your mom had an OnlyFans account? Find out this week.
81. Listen Up, Assface.
If Tommy falls off a boat, you think he'll be able to get himself back on by himself? Find out this week.
80. Let's Break It Down
Jack asks Tommy to "BREAK IT DOWN" this week and Tommy needs to mask his gaping hole.
79. Sorry, Mom
78. This Episode Is Shit
No, really, this episode felt like it was all about shit. How to shit, when to shit, who to shit with, or how to cleaning shit. Just absolute shit. The Unsolicited gang also answers listener questions and enjoys the last week of sanity in the United States. Thank you to all of those who participate. Follow Zack Jackett on Facebook and send you messages directly to him. Follow the Unsolicited Podcast Group on Facebook Or email the gang at firstname.lastname@example.org . We love you all. Stay safe and Healthy.
Tommy came up with this episode's name. That's all you need to know.
76. Goat Yoga
The gang is back together in the same room and Jack sends Tommy sinking to the bottom of the ocean like a pile of bricks after Tommy calls him a weak person.
75. A Little Bit Late
All we need to say about this episode is: LAWYER COP THEME SONG!!!!
For all your theme song/sting/jingle needs, email: email@example.com
74. Drinking Out Of Cups (with DJ Qualls)
DJ QUALLS IS BACK!!! And true to form, Kelly went to the bathroom and the boys couldn't figure out how shit works.
Rate, review, subscribe and share with your friends (or your enemies!!)
73. The Social Dilemma
Jack and Kelly are IN STUDIO! Which means Kelly's sound quality finally doesn't suck anymore!!!! This one gets intellectual. Listen if ya wanna get learned.
72. That One Scene From Monsters University, Sport
We laughed a lot this week. JACK HAS A DATE! Kelly does a secret challenge with both of the guys, we decided if sex is a proper birthday gift and Tommy develops his villain origin story.
71. Taking a pue
Tommy still refuses to come home. Everyone make sure to go to his instagram and let him know he's needed back in LA. Couple of Urban D's for ya this week and god knows what else. It's not great.
70. Still kinda nice
For all the degenerate fucks who survived last week's drinking game, welcome back!
Sorry to blind Jon whose message wouldn't play. Ah, fuck. You're not reading this are you, Jon?
We're off next week so make sure to send us lots of questions for the following week! @theunsolicited3, firstname.lastname@example.org, 833-266-7667 or by leaving a voice note with Zack Jackett.
68. Dr. Richard Fuchmiyass
We MAY have gone a little overboard on the hillbilly accents this week. CARPE DIEM.
Follow us @theunsolicited3
Email us at email@example.com.
You gotta listen to find out why the episode is titled that. DEMS DA RULEZ!!
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66. Purple Headed Yogurt Slingers
We're back with NO TIME DELAYS! This episode welcomes 69 new sponsors and features one uppers, yogurt collectors and a nude cat sleeper. (That doesn't make sense, just go with it).
65. Catfishing a Catfisher
If there are any time or audio delay issues this week, just know I TRIED MY FREAKIN' BEST. Our worst run-ins with the cops, Tommy is stringing along a cam girl and Jack got a lapdance.
64. Would I Be The Asshole?
Our first ever Would I Be The Asshole? And if Tommy's got anything to say about it, yes.
Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. AND TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
63. Organized Orgies?
The mushrooms are kicking in so I don't know what to write here.
62. Reunited and it feels so...
Weird!! It's so strange to see each other face to face. Last time before Tommy heads off to Joisey for the rest of the summer. What will he do in that little village of his?!
61. The Revolution of 2020
Our thoughts on everything from Black Lives Matter (Very PRO this!) to what does it mean to defund the police? Plus, of course some lighthearted Am I The Asshole? fun to remind you that, yes- most people are assholes.
Take care of yourselves. We love you guys!
60. SPACE JOKES!!!!!
Is space travel going to become the new air travel? Is it petty to not share finances with your spouse? What's your favorite dad joke!? Tweet us @theunsolicited3.
59. A Kinda Smart Episode
Don't listen if you don't wanna be learned! Just kidding, there's only a LITTLE bit of smart stuff. Check in with the gang and see what the GOP really stands for!
58. Men in Thongs?
Should you have to wear pants in a Zoom meeting? Should men wear a thong to walk a day in a woman's....asscrack? And a whole new twist on Urban D. Also- more BORING stories about Kelly's life (JK THEY'RE NOT BORING YOU DICK).
57. The Underwear Goblin & a...talking dog: man's best friends?
We talk ideal mythical creatures, take a try at becoming Oreo's new marketing team and shove another round of Urban D in your ass.
56. Nascar Driver or Sheriff from Alabama? (with Jaclyn Marfuggi)
Tommy's NOT depressed. His main squeeze joins us for a while to talk about deliberate farting in relationships. We also do a solid 10 minutes in bad southern accents. IT'S FUN!
55. Mornin' Ass
Another remote episode talkin' about morning ass vs. night ass, Oil Tycoons (?) and gaming in relationships.
Thanks to all our sponsors and shoutout to Mat Peard for the song he wrote us.
54. A 7 Second Delay
Join along in our journey of confusion as we try to figure out if each of us are doing bits or if our audio is just off. We also talk pranks gone wrong, and reminisce about cat/dog lawyer/cop.
Thanks to our new sponsors this week, namely "Let Dogs See Boobs Who Gives A Shit".
53. Topless Around the Family Dog?
Welcome back-- some somber updates, a heated AITA discussion and some more Urban D for ya on another quarantine 'cast.
Thanks again to all our sponsors new and old. We appreciate you!
52. The Quarantine Cast
Hey heyyyyy, we're coming to you live from each of our living rooms because we are on super lockdown. How has the last 2 weeks gone? Well, it feels like it's been 84 years, but that's neither here nor there. Thanks so much to our supporters on anchor and all of our sponsors. Stay safe and STAY HOME!!!!
51. The Tuesday Mornin' Dook
Well it's very obvious that we had NO idea we'd eventually be quarantined when we recorded this episode. We were younger then, and full of plans.
50. A Real Highfalutin Episode
This week we take some more LIVE CALLS. Tommy makes up a couple band names, we talk news on the new JJ podcast and more!
Thank you so much to all of our monthly sponsors and anyone who's sponsored us in the past. You guys are the best, we love you!
49. It's Our One Year Anniversary!!!
IT'S BEEN A YEAR! How?!?! Thanks for joining us on this stupid journey. We love all your participation and sharing laughs with you all. Listen to hear our favorite memories over the past year.
48. There's So Much Blood! A Vegas Recap and more
Kelly didn't die! Well, yet. Jack and Kelly talk about their "trip" to Vegas and we answer our first live call on air! Also- just say no to snakes on a plane. Also, Jack is Back! Getting you hard and wet with some erotica.
47. Guess Who? The Movie
The gang gets together to pitch hit movie and TV ideas and talk shit about the routines of morning people. (BLEH)
46: 46. I Like Turtles
45: 45. A public apology to Popeye's
44: 44. The Anti-Hitler
43: 43. The Grundle Gang (with Justin Martindale)
42: 42. Dr. Thomas Caprio
41: 41. Merry Fuckin' Christmas
40: 40. So Many Assholes in Heaven!
39: 39. Roofies, Indian-Style & Acid Flashbacks
38: 38. The Asshole Is The Power Source
37: 37. An Unsolicited Thanksgiving
36: 36. The "Hey, I'm Walkin' Here!" Pilot
35: 35. Am I The Asshole?
34: 34. American Girl Dolls, Athletic Trainers & Taint Massages
Follow us @theunsolicited3 on Twitter and Instagram.
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Call us at 1-833-266-7667 or 1-833-2MORONS
Or you can friend request Zack Jackett on Facebook and leave voicemails there.
33: 33. Picasso, Pants Poopin' & The Cat's Buh-knees (with Luis Castillo)
32: 32. Centipede Handjobs, Used Wives & Halloween Horror Nights
31: 31. First Date Etiquette, Knicked Balls & The Mississippi Steamboat
You can email us at email@example.com or call 1-833-266-7667 or 1-833-2Morons.
30: 30. Red Flags, Joker, & the Tallahassee Puppy Piledriver.
You can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 1-833-266-7667 or 1-833-2Morons.
29: 29. Anxiety, Body Language and Puking on the Freeway
28: 28. Zombies, Drunk Law & Prison Podcasts
27: 27. Embarrassing Moments, Stepmom Porn & Cancel Culture (with Brad Williams and JB Ball)
26: 26. Rebounds, Drive-By Flirtation & A Full Shaft (with Preacher Lawson)
25: 25. Hangovers, Jersey Shore & Tattoos
24: 24. Pegging, Hugs & The Magic Cum Touch
Please rate, review and share with your friends!
23: 23. Cabo, Comedy Clubs & Colonics
Please rate, review, subscribe and share! You can follow us on social media @theunsolicited3.
22: 22. Empty Compliments, Text Breakups & The Pull-Out Method
As always, please rate, review, subscribe and share with your friends!