The Thief • An Audiodrama
By Michael Schofield
The Thief is a Dungeons and Dragons Actual Play edited to within an inch of its life: fully cast, fully immersive.
Created by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Voices by Kristian Byrne, Patrik Deraković-Rakas, S. Kaiya J, Jeremy Roman, Patricia Wires, Charles Villard, Isabela Duffles, Vincent Hughes.
The Thief • An AudiodramaOct 30, 2023
Chapter Four • Midseason Finale :: "Thief"
A house like the Merchants never sleeps for long.
Credits
Written and produced by Michael Schofield. Played by Sisi Wei. Sound design by Michael Schofield.
Hector is Jeremy Roman
Lady Merchant is Patricia Wires
Nora is Patricia Wires
Anna Braithwaite as Her Lady's Maid
Fletcher Noman as Valet 1 and Guard 1
Music
Medieval Harp 2 by _Blacksmith_
2 Violins Dark Ambient, Slow Minimalist Emotional Cello, Dark Documentary Piano by Orchestralis
Thankyou
The Thief is made possible with the support of patrons we call "the Fyrd." Our thegns Trei Brundrett and Andy McLellan, our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Mike Atchley, and Patrick Myers.
I appreciate your kind reviews and your word of mouth.
This is the last episode of the year. But "the fyrd" musters still during this intermission and if you join us for free at patreon.com/the-thief I'll be continuing the -- for now -- exclusive stories of The Friar and Byrnharrow.
"The Thief" will return.
Chapter Three • Part Two :: Night Callers
Symphony's audience with Lady Merchant concludes, and she spends her first fortuitous night in Merchant's Row.
Credits
Written and produced by Michael Schofield. Played by Sisi Wei. Sound design by Michael Schofield.
Cast, in order of appearance:
- Patricia Wires as both Lady Merchant and Nora
- Charles Villard as both Marley Osgard and the lovesick Godwin
- Anna Braithwaite as Her Lady's Maid
- Fletcher Noman as Doorman
- Isabela Duffles of the Night-calling Polewick
- Jeremy Roman as Hector
The licensed music you heard that I just love was Celtic Harp and respectively Medieval Harps 1 & 2 by a Blacksmith; and The Way It Was and Lore And Myths by Crypt of Insomnia.
The Thief is made possible with the support of patrons we call "the Fyrd." Our thegns Trei Brundrett and Andy McLellan, and our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Mike Atchley, and Andy Priestner.
Help make The Thief for just $2 per episode on patreon.com/thethief.
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Chapter Three • Part One :: Good Impressions
Symphony, as Asta Evansdottir, manages an audience with the belle dame Lady Merchant herself. She has only this one chance to get in through the front door.
Support our story, gain early access to new unpublished audio dramas in the same world, and find a free transcript for this episode alongside its highest quality version of the audio on patreon.com/thethief.
Credits
Written and produced by Michael Schofield. Played by Sisi Wei. Sound design by Michael Schofield.
Cast, in order of appearance:
- Patrik Derakovic-Rakas as Drypoint
- Kristian Byrne as the announcer
- Sisi Wei as Symphony
- Fletcher Noman as Gatekeeper
- Logan Riensmith as Wagon-loader
- Jeremy Roman as Albret Solly
- Patricia Wires as Nora
- Vincent Hughes as Messenger
- Patricia Wires as Lady Merchant
- Anna Braithwaite as Her Lady's Maid
The Thief is made possible with the support of patrons we call "the Fyrd." Our thegns Trei Brundrett and Andy McLellan, and our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Mike Atchley, and Andy Priestner. And with the support of our freepeoples, who help spread the word on social: SC Tadsen (@sctadsen), Patrik Derakovic-Rakas (@drpatrikva), Kris the Deserted GM (@desertedgm), Rusty Rayne (@rustyrayne), and Nathan from the AARPG Podcast (@tatooineunited.bsky.social).
Help make The Thief for just $2 per episode on patreon.com/thethief.
Chapter Two • Part Two :: Doppleganger
Symphony can’t get in with Merchant’s Row without some proof of - competency. So, she drops-in on an old friend. A transcript is published for free alongside the highest quality version of the audio on patreon.com/michaelschofield.
Credits
Written and produced by Michael Schofield. Played by Sisi Wei. Dialogue editing by Brianna Jean. Sound design by Michael Schofield.
Cast, in order of appearance:
Sisi Wei as Symphony
Kristian Byrne as the announcer
Charles Villard as Haldwen
Patricia Wires as Isobel Hart
Patrik Derakovic-Rakas as both Tailor’s Apprentice and Drypoint
The Thief is produced by the Fyrd. Our thegns Trei Brundrett and Andy McLellan, and our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Mike Atchley, and Andy Priestner.
Join these heroes and join the fyrd and help me make more stories about the legacy of Caledoran at https://patreon.com/michaelschofield.
Chapter Two • Part One :: The First Stone
For the first time we really see Symphony's neighborhood, Lorim's Hill, as she -- against Haldwen's warning -- starts looking under the rocks for clues about Eleanor Merchant and Lord Cagwen. A transcript is available on patreon.com/michaelschofield.
Credits
Written and produced by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Dialogue editing by Brianna Jean
Cast, in order of appearance:
- Kristian Byrne as the announcer
- Michael Schofield as the storyteller and Old Gossip
- Sisi Wei as Symphony
- Patricia Wires as Regal Gossip, Shrewed Gossip, and Isobel Hart
- Charles Villard as Haldwen.
The Thief is produced by the fyrd. Our thegns Trei Brundrett and Andy McLellan, and our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Mike Atchley, Andy Priestner, and Joshua Simpson.
Special thanks to the hérd, who answered the call to help bring The Thief to new ears.
- S. Kaiya J. creates strange and contemplative tabletop RPGs at https://mirror-lock.com.
- Isabela Duffles is our village's artist at https://isabeladuffles.com, and she's working with me right now on a comic called Swán.
- A very special thanks to Brigette Metzler, who wants to point out the volunteer-run ResearchOps community, a global community dedicated to scaling the impact and the craft of user research at https://researchops.community. You can sponsor the running of the 15,000-person-strong community on Patreon.
- Super special thanks to Sean Tadsen, who I see help signal-boost The Thief all the time. He streams every Friday on Twitch at https://twitch.tv/librarianwritergeek.
- Thanks to Emil, who is part of Double DM Podcast at https://twitter.com/DoubleDMPod. Ya'll are so prolific; I have no idea how you do it.
- And Adam Yauhasz, or Brim, or Razahhh. Voice actor and streamer over at https://twitch.tv/therazahhh - with three H's.
- And thanks to Bad Heroes, a fantasy actual play podcast about hapless adventurers hunting deadly curses in a realm bound to Hell. You can find them at http://badheroescast.com.
Join these heroes and join the fyrd and help me make more stories about the legacy of Caledoran at https://patreon.com/michaelschofield.
Chapter One • Part Two :: Whistledown
Osment is carted away by the haldaen, but Symphony pursues, clambering through scaffolding and roof-spanning clotheslines - only for him to leave her nothing but a gossip pamphlet. Why?
Content warning: this episode is tame.
Credits:
Written and produced by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Dialog Editing by Brianna Jean
Voices in order of appearance: Kristian Byrne, Patrik Deraković-Rakas
The music you heard was Gateway to the Fjords by Crypt of Insomnia, Mystic Desert by J Blanks, and some sad vocals by Orchestral.
The Thief is produced by the fyrd. Our thegns Trei Brundrett, and Andy McLellan, and our spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Andy Priestner, Joshua Simpson, Kevin Wilson, and Mike Atchley.
You can join the Fyrd help me make more stories about the Aendhrin and the legacy of Caledoran at patreon.com/michaelschofield.
Chapter One • Part One :: Rogue Bazaar
We meet Symphony again months after paying Bafford a visit. It's time to meet an old friend in the anonymity provided by a crowd.
Credits:
Written and produced by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Voices in order of appearance: Kristian Byrne, Patrik Deraković-Rakas, Jeremy Roman, S. Kaiya J., and Elliot Schofield
Music by iCentury, Crypt of Insomnia, and Tabletop Audio (see usage statements).
The Thief is produced by the Fyrd: our thegn Trei Brundrett, spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Andy Priestner, Joshua Simpson, Kevin Wilson, and Mike Atchley.
You can join the Fyrd help me make more stories about the Aendhrin and the legacy of Caledoran at patreon.com/thethief
Prologue • Part Two :: Da Capo
The thief stalks from Lorim's Hill to the rathaus in an old forum called "the den," and her story just gets started.
Credits:
Written and produced by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Voices by Kristian Byrne, @strawberrio, and Patrik Deraković-Rakas.
Music by Will Savino, Tabletop Audio, and Ivan Duch (see usage statements).
This episode was produced by our fyrd: our thegn Trei Brundrett, and spear-throwers: Rebekah Monson, Laura Spears, Andy Priestner, Joshua Simpson, and Kevin Wilson.
You can join the Fyrd for free and help me make more stories about the Aendhrin and the legacy of Caledoran at patreon.com/thethief.
Prologue • Part One :: First Note
From her modest perch in Lorim's Hill, the thief steals into the night.
Credits:
Written and produced by Michael Schofield
Played by Sisi Wei
Voices by Kristian Byrne, @strawberrio, Chris Croll, and Patrik Deraković-Rakas.
Music by Tabletop Audio and Ivan Duch (see usage statements).
We couldn't come to you without the support of our Fyrd. Our spear throwers: Laura Spears, Andy Priestner, Joshua Simpson, and Kevin Wilson; our friends at Wunderpop: Unique AF Apparel for the Girls, Theys, Gays, and Allies; our freepeople: Jack Kellum from Gods and Gamemasters, Bill Helman, Vladyslav Dembik, and Counterspell Culture.
Support indie fiction at patreon.com/thethief.
The Thief • Teaser
Coming soon, The Thief: a new, original audiodrama and Dungeons & Dragons actual-play with voice cast and soundscapes. The Thief is a low-fantasy adventure in the same world as The Friar, and will appear alongside those episodes right here.
You can support The Thief and The Friar by joining the Fyrd for free at https://patreon.com/michaelschofield.