
Tipsy Mystics
By Kimberly Darwin

Tipsy MysticsAug 22, 2023

How To Focus Your Attention on Something Without Getting Attached To It
With Special Guest Tess!
- Source is nothing experiencing itself as everything, and then going back to nothing
- Striving to be a new person in every moment
- The Pattern App - What is an Identity, anyway?
- Kimberly can't stop buying new clothes to define herself
- How our culture requires us to be "client-facing"
- Dressing according to mood and connection to Source
- How to focus your attention on something without getting attached to it?
- Using Bashar's Formula of Manifestation
- Kimberly's guide tells us how to allow unknown possibilities and patience
- Why disappointment can be the best thing that happens to you
- Jamye Price's Light Language at www.jamyeprice.com
- Ending things so that new things can begin. Let's start with "SHOULD"
- Navigating the RIGHT and WRONG waters with others
- Maranda's Team's guidance when with others: Your only purpose is your presence
- How Kimberly's rash disappeared as soon as the lesson was learned
Maranda is drinking: Water
Kimberly is drinking: Truly Hard Seltzer
Tess is drinking: Electrolytes

How Pickleball Could Save the World. The Difference Between Being Powerless and Lacking Control.
- Back after a long hiatus! Maranda explains why she's had nothing to say.
- Kimberly and Maranda welcome guest Tess, the little ray of sunshine to balance the Tipsy Mystics.
- Guilt over Lightworkers feeling irksome at people's behavior.
- Challenging the "Always Be Doing" programming. It's OK NOT TO DO!
- Facing the Queen of Denial. If you deny it, it's gonna hit you in the face.
- TIME: what exactly IS it nowadays?
- Pickleball: Immediate existence on everyone's timeline.
- Unavoidable Politics - From Inclusion to Exclusion - the Lightworkers' dilemma.
- The difference between being powerless and lacking control.
- "I may not have control, but I do have power, or I wouldn't exist."
- You are NO ONE and you're NOTHING, per Maranda.
Maranda is drinking: Water
Kimberly is drinking: Truly Hard Seltzer
Tess is drinking: Electrolytes

WTFoff! 2022 - LIVE - Atlantis Under Ice, Preparing to Bilocate - Is 2023 the Year of Open Contact?
<li>How Ancient Egypt is still expanding our consciousness</li>
<li>Kimberly predicts that Atlantis will be uncovered from the ice caps</li>
<li>Hathor's Mystery School taught people how to bilocate</li>
<li>(Cat video bomb)</li>
<li>WTFoff: regrets and past memories rearing ugly heads in the sleep state</li>
<li>WTFoff: self-sacrifice</li>
<li>The Great Pyramid, Orion and his belt in 10,500 BCE</li>
<li>Star Wars and Life on Orion - The Black League</li>
<li>Maranda explains polarity on Earth</li>
<li>Open Contact - 2023 opens the door per Bashar</li>
<li>Meeting high-frequency beings without freaking out</li>
<li>Paul Selig channeling "God is playing as You"</li>
<li>Science vs Spirituality</li>
<li>Nuclear Fission powering homes in 5 years?</li>
</ul>

Being in Limbo for Eternity?, Quit Hitting Yerself, Symbolism of Plastic, Inventers Who Care
- Direct messages from the Universe
- The definition of 'being in limbo'
- Playing a part in someone else's healing
- Punching yourself in the face with criticism
- Crying levels 2021 vs 2022
- Plastic in the Collective
- NFTs and the power issue
- Selfless inventors helping those in need
Maranda is still drinking H20 - in hydration mode
Kimberly is drinking H20 + Titos vodka

Goodbye Queen, Finding Magic in the Mundane, Kim visits an Otherworldly Brothel
- Goodbye to Queen Elizabeth.
- 911 Heroes and guilt at not caring.
- Insurance: Are you expecting bad things to happen? (audio issues).
- Making decisions with partial information: The Human Way.
- Kimberly visits a bazaar brothel in another reality.
- Maranda learns her purpose of embracing the Human Body.
- Finding the magic in the mundane.
- Maranda opens a wormhole at work
- Accepting that everything is in limbo
Maranda is drinking water
Kimberly is drinking Tito's and Coconut Hint Water

Limitations! Going, Going, Gone: Anything That Focuses You On What ISN'T.
- Limitations!
- The Self is not Limited, per Seth
- Beliefs we thought were GONE...not.
- How to be more "Me."
- Going: Anything that focuses you on what ISN'T.
- Taking responsibility for the good things you've done.
- Being inexperienced at joy.
- Kimberly meets a 1,000 year-old woman.
- Technology or Nature. It's up to you.
- Kimberly's new dishwasher.
- You don't have to figure it all out.
- Kimberly embeds love into a stranger's new house.
- Eating: heading toward algae smoothies & nutritional chocolate chip cookies.
Maranda is drinking: Trader Joe's Blueberry Lemonade Seltzer
Kimberly is drinking: 2018 Poppy Pinot Noir

Being What's Never Been :: Geese as Guides :: If You Have Knotty Hair...
- Goodbye short-term memory - 5 seconds max!
- Humorous Universal interjections during conversations.
- How your past can not exist.
- Milli Vanilli in nature.
- How Maranda gauges Earth energy by the flow of creek water.
- Geese and how few f*cks they give.
- Kim reading information from flowers, having trouble with red.
- Training coyotes away from cats and dogs.
- Dreams: Maranda can't wake up anymore. Kim doesn't care to remember.
- BEING what's never BEEN.
- If you have Knotty Hair...
Kimberly is drinking: 2018 Poppy Pinot Noir
Maranda is drinking: Sparkly water

Action plans are OUT...Aimlessness is IN. Natural empaths emerging NOW.
- The status of war on our timelines. Hint: It's sunny
- A black woman in the Supreme Court: Best timeline ever
- Kim's biggest issue: Aimlessness
- Sitting on your couch and BEING
- Natural empaths emerging now
- Lightworkers not needing to meditate in caves anymore
- Finding someone's entire identity in a bag
- Letting Source work through you
- Recognizing the Next Step (or not)
- Realizing that nothing makes any sense anyway...so let it all go.
Kimberly is drinking: 2018 Poppy Pinot Noir
Maranda is drinking: Bubbly non-alcoholic stuff
Check out @philgoodlife on Instagram for more Lightworker support.

Maranda Guides a Lost Man in 5D
- Who decided what a wine pour is?
- Cereal portions in 5D.
- RIP Betty White.
- Kim's non-physical team picks spots in her consciousness.
- Deathwalking and raves on the Rainbow Bridge.
- Maranda guides a lost man in 5D.
- How lightworkers trigger people: would you like to know in advance?
- Kim's preparation for physical ET-contact.
- Other lives Kim is living: airplane psychic and bowl-cut nun.
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Maranda is drinking: Elderberry soda without tequila.
Kim is drinking: Nomadica red-blend wine and Earl Grey Tea

Earth as an Emotional Amusement Park
Kim lost her "voice" for 6-months (felt like 13 hours).
Maranda experiences anger as she emerges from her cocoon.
Throwing fake authenticity out the window.
Mickey the Gnome: Earth is an emotional amusement park.
Why do we create lives with such negativity?
Introducing Anya the 5D cat.
The clock is gone, the days are gone, and the calendar is almost out the door.
Frequency: are you always clearing, or are you always progressing?
The Grassman in the Hills.
Walking around in your own ideas.
Experiencing other people's joy - crying ensues.
The myriad kinds of love available to you.
Requesting a 5D council to fix sidewalk cracks.
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Kim is drinking: Earl Grey Tea
Maranda is drinking: Foofy Soda

Living In A World That Doesn't Need Saving
Do you feel an urgent call to save.....anyone? If so, you're exploring a common theme with other Lightworkers.
Kim and Maranda discuss the theme of Light vs Dark polarity, and how saving the world was never really the intention in the first place. You came here to expand in joy, and the only thing you need to save...is room for dessert.
___________________
Maranda is drinking hard Kombucha
Kimberly is drinking LaCroix and a hit of Clementine by Select.
___________________
If you want to co-create in a big way, visit the AwakeCon site for more details on Earth's first multi-dimensional conference.

5D Guides on the 3D Plane
Kim and Maranda are back! With shorter episodes for those of you with over-stimulated evolving minds. What a wild ride this is!
Your guides are here by previous agreement, to help you expand your consciousness. They can take any shape, from acrobat to dead possum, to the cashier at your favorite store. It's all about service---with messages and lessons passed around in any interaction. Will you get the most out of it? Do you know how you're serving others as a guide?
In any case, the Tipsy Mystics always recommend that you include humor in the mix, for the Universe is all about inclusion. :)
When things aren't taken so seriously, you are relaxed enough to apply the message, and recognize the levity of any situation. We're all here to expand, so you might as well have fun.
Our motto: Drinks on the patio.
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Maranda is drinking: Hard Kombucha
Kim is drinking: Coffee with Clementine Sativa
__________
Visit the Are You Awakening blog
Visit Astro Bartender. Maranda is now offering readings!

New Girls on the Plane, Weirdest Manifestations, Getting Pixied
What 5D versions of your family look like.
Choosing to stay in 3D vs trusting yourself in 5D.
Kim gets "Pixied" on Santa Monica Blvd.
Why corn mazes are complicated.
The weirdest way to manifest laundry soap.
Maranda goes to Target for guidance.
Threats: Dangling a kid over the shark tank.
Inside the minds of death row inmates.
Attachments vs associations, and how to drop them in 5D.
New bird on our timeline: Fairy Wren
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Maranda is drinking: pineapple seltzer
Kimberly is drinking: Truly Hard Lemonade
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Visit the AwakeCon show site

Live from the Light Grid: The Sex Life of Cicadas, The Benefit of Contrast
Tipsy Mystics live from the Light Grid, from YouTube transmission.
What is the Light Grid?
The Non-physical Unseen Audience that accompanies you everywhere you go.
Maranda's Windfall Day: Manifesting abundance in 20 minutes.
The 17-year drawn-out sex life of cicadas.
How assumptions can steer you down a path of despair--most times.
Full lunar eclipse: Who do you trust?
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Maranda is drinking: Watermelon tequila? + LaCroix coconut soda.
Kim is drinking: Canned wine
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Visit the AwakeCon site

Timeline glitches, A Spanking From The Acturians, Has The Event Started?
When Orion energies move to Earth and play the bad guys.
Timeline glitches that make it feel like Groundhog Day.
Has The Event started? Power imbalances arising for the collective.
How Seth is sneaking back into 2021 timelines.
Your 5D Self and your Instagram feed.
5D inertia: Half exhaustion, half wild energy.
New Earth bartering exchange: free information and everyone wins.
Why underpaid workers are refusing to work, and how it's changing the job market.
2021 finances: The darkest divine comedy.
Maranda's last pennies.
What funemployed lightworkers do with their day.
Arcturians challenge humans to a duel: Faith vs Mental Processing. Pretty sure we all know who wins.
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Maranda is drinking: Loverboy Hard Tea
Kimberly is drinking: Pellegrino again
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Mentioned in podcast: Seth books by Jane Roberts
Daniel Scranton channels the Arcturians
Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening
Read Maranda's channeling at Astro Bartender

Being Funemployed, Showering Spammers with Love, Lightworkers & The Vax
- Kim's Masters Thesis on Alice in Wonderland
- Alexandr the spammer
- Things don't have to be hard
- The downfall of corporate swag
- Funemployed and buying with abandon
- Telepathy : when pictures replace words
- Kim's ride on a really big multidimensional animal
- Recognizing the energy of loved ones
- Maranda visits WW2 ancestors and showers them with love
- Why "screaming into the abyss" is a great rebalancing practice
- Pluto in Retrograde - stuff's being revealed
- How Ted Cruz helped the collective evolve
- Why does Kim have a Mahjong set?
- Lightworkers & The Vax
_______________________
Maranda is drinking: Canned Wine!
Kimberly is drinking: Tangerine Pellegrino
Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening?
Visit Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender

Fake Alien Invasion Coming Soon? Will Tearing Down Statues Change the Future? - with Special Tipsy Guest, Tess
It's a Tipsy Trio as our friend Tess joins us with her special perspective.
Will tearing down old statues change the future?
News of a fake alien invasion: Is it "Wag the Dog" or adventurous timeline fun? Hint: Humanity loves ETs.
How close are we to full extraterrestrial contact?
How kindness bloomed during the pandemic.
All about healing. How much is enough?
Maranda's boxed-in job counseling session.
Using crystals to aid the healing of physical ailments.
Do you have a failsafe frequency raiser?
5D wackiness: Tess gets messages for Kimberly.
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Visit the AwakeCon site
Check out Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening
Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender

The Suez Canal Incident: Whimsical Crop Circle, or Battle Over A Major Portal? Choose Your Fun.
No More Human Rules - Universal rules override the human condition
Maranda and Kim have one foot firmly planted on each plane: Half 3D and half 5D.
How Kim lost an entire company from her past.
Which belief changed your reality the most when you redesigned it? Hint: People aren’t shitty.
Dead animals appearing in our beautiful 5D reality….are we mis-manifesting?
How movies like “Michael” and “Elf” plant seeds about limitless life. We can learn from all that sugar.
Spirit essences practicing physicality in Kim’s kitchen.
Birds popping from balls of light. Are dragons next?
The Suez Canal incident: a large boat emulating sexual positions, or invasion of Earth’s biggest portal? You decide.
Vibrating underwear and long distance lamps to practice telepathy?
Kim’s other self wants a newer Porsche. Kim disagrees. Their “battle” turns physical.
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Maranda is drinking: Kombucha, big surprise
Kim is drinking: Mango White Claw + Jack Herer
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Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Visit Kim's blog at Are You Awakening

3D v. 5D Bitch Session - Explicit!
Kim and Maranda have just had enough of the whole awakening process, feeling glued in place with one foot stuck on each plane...and no clear instructions.
If you are feeling torn between the physical world and the spiritual world, are not sure what exactly is solid and what isn't anymore, then this session is for you. We get lost in parallel realities, voice our disdain for all things symbolic ("Just tell me the damn answer!"), and finally end up admitting that the journey is fun, despite our bitching.
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Maranda is absolutely drinking. (Kombucha of course)
Kimberly's drink is a responsible chemistry experiment including vodka + electrolytes. + Blue Dream.
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Visit The Are You Awakening Blog
Check out Astro Bartender

5D Starbucks Baristas Sing In Unison, When Trusted Sources Trigger You
When spiritual sources you trust trigger you instead.
Weird things that awake people buy to amuse themselves.
Maranda's 5D Starbucks baristas nearly break out into dance.
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Maranda is drinking: Kombucha with pink gin
Kimberly is drinking: Peppermint Tea (from The Tea Spot) with Green Dream
Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Check out Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening

When You Know That You Can't Die, Crashing Spaceships in 5D, Goodbye Sunglasses
Maranda's car spinning wheels for no reason - when the Universe wins.
Being stuck in the snow and in life.
Escapes go bye-bye in 5D.
Deserving to get what you give.
Learning to accept help after Hurricane Katrina.
Work separation anxieties.
Associations made with Valentine's Day.
Communicating with dead relatives.
Kim's dead brother Chuck gives motorcycle instructions.
Perfectionism vs Non-Perfectionist.
Lightworkers as Cosmic Triggers.
Eating fried chicken with the Amish, learning about Excellence.
No longer needing sunglasses as your eyes adjust to the sun.
Recognizing yourself in human mirrors and healing on the spot.
A watched pot can never boil. Let the damn pot boil!
Your body as a neon sign.
Cold spells as you release fear.
Water unlocks memories.
Kim's life as a catty burlesque dancer.
It's a beautiful life.
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Maranda is drinking: Kombucha, of course.
Kim: Green Dream
Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
See Kim's blog Are You Awakening

Maranda invades Kim's Dream, steals kitten. The Meanest Thing You've Ever Done. Free Versions vs Paid Versions
Maranda shows up in Kim's dream to question her integrity.
Symbolism in 3D world, decoded from a 5D perspective.
Subscription-based services: Do you always choose the free version?
Gamestop, Reddit and unity in choices made for the collective.
Kim's flashback of the meanest thing she's ever done to a human.
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Sorry for the audio, that was Kim's bad.
Maranda is drinking: Happy Kombucha with L-Theanine
Kim is drinking: Titos and Tangerine soda
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Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Check out Kim's blog Are You Awakening
Visit the AwakeCon site

The Inauguration: Mars/Uranus Conjunction & CHANGE NOW, Where Found Money Comes From, Healing Other You's
Shopping in 5D
Former Scrooge Maranda gets a new view of abundance.
Symbolism of broken toilets
The Lottery: funding someone else's abundance.
Control vs Power
Maranda's intention to champion King's Tennis.
Lightworkers and Kitchen Spiders.
Guides explaining where found money comes from.
You, healing other You's. PS: They heal you too.
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Dry January (so far):
Maranda is drinking: Sparkling Water
Kimberly is drinking: Still Water
Visit Maranda's Blog Astro Bartender
Check out Kim's Instagram at @areyouawakening

Talking To Yourself In Public, Flying Glasses of Water, & Earth as a Living Library
Keeping castoff furniture vs what you really want.
Imagining Earth without landfills.
Functional Fixedness - Multiple uses = multiple possibilities.
Uncovering telepathic skills.
The glass of water that moved tables in front of oblivious partygoers.
Do you believe channeled beings more than your Higher Self?
Earth as a Living Library and why humans are so valuable.
All about shame.
People talking to themselves in public. Is this you?
Mars moving out of Aries - release that anger!
Different ways to look at the Storming of the Capitol. Change or Strife?
Your reality need not match ANYONE else's.
The future of Earth as a Party Planet.
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Maranda is drinking: Dry January....kombucha.
Kim is drinking: Moringa Sage tea.
Visit the AwakeCon site.
Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender.
Kim's blog Are You Awakening?

How to Avoid New Karma, Energetic Anxiety, House Fairies
Warning: Explicit language! :)
Maranda moves into the house she designed 170 years ago.
House Fairies and how they share space with you.
Swan update.
Third-grade Kim steals a horse.
Why New Earth can have happy sanitation workers.
Memory bleedthroughs starting. Which door is the right door?
Deja vu in the Now.
How and why people arrive in your life, and when they leave.
People judging Lightworkers as "crazy."
Creating life from a misinterpreted text message.
Who are you bringing with you to New Earth?
The AwakeCon Spider room and Gumbyphobia.
Psychological Flexibility in 2021.
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Maranda is drinking: Kombucha (dry January)
Kim is drinking Pellegrino and Tito's + Green Dream
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Check out the AwakeCon site
Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kim's blog Are You Awakening

Jupiter/Saturn High-Fiving in Space, Do We Beta Test New Fruit Creations?
Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction and how the Age of Aquarius is a really good thing.
Message from Maranda's non-physical team: Cannons of Confetti!
How to redesign your past.
Jumping down to 3D to take Harmony to the mechanic.
Kim's showdown with food beliefs: Risotto wins.
Kim meets her homeless friend Ricky on another plane.
Turtle sex.
When the Higher Self takes over the conversation....without prior notice.
Recognizing the awakening path of others: AwakeDar.
How kids use intuition naturally...and win games!
Buddha's Hand Fruit - is it creative beta testing?.
Divine Masculines opening their hearts on The Bachelorette.
Send Maranda your birth chart and she may ask you for a date.
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Maranda is drinking: Cabernet Advent Wine
Kim is drinking: 2017 Barbera del Monteferrato red
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Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kim's blog Are You Awakening

5D Plumbers, Multidimensional Breakdowns & Weather Forecasts from Another Timeline
Having a multidimensional whine session with the guides.
Truckersexuals
Maranda's body goes numb...and she's too numb to investigate.
Kim's reckoning with risotto.
Testing patience through trust.
Maranda requires a plan in the 5D world of unknowns.
The 5D plumber that clears drains in no time.
Kim's missing gloves - still in a parallel reality.
What timelessness looks like.
Zapping the past and re-associating things.
Maranda's weather forecast from another timeline.
Things to do when you worry: Worry Huts, Worry Dolls, Essential Oils.
Astrological Pop-quiz: Pull in the knowledge from other lives.
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Maranda is drinking: Red Advent Wine
Kim is drinking Pellegrino & Blue Dream
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Visit Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender
Kim's blog Are You Awakening
Sign up for AwakeCon updates

Who is installing the Monoliths?, Gushing in 5D, Gloves Lost In a Parallel Reality
Maranda emotes feelings on the 5D plane.
Housefly symbolism and Venus Fly Traps (Dark vs Light in the plant world?).
Kimberly views life through the eyes of a Hammerhead Shark.
Couples Facebook Accounts: Maranda's unexpected reply.
Twin Flame theme: integration or lost identity?
Who is responsible for the Monoliths? Hint: it's all in good fun.
Kimberly loses her gloves in a parallel reality and can't get back.
The Oh Shi(f)t Timeline at AwakeCon.
How Harry Styles is rocking the cover of Vogue.
When you stop judging others and move to yourself.
Seth on natural guilt vs artificial guilt.
Early December astrological leanings associated with guilt.
The 12th house, and anything related to Neptune or Pisces.
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Maranda is drinking: Day 6 of Advent Calendar wine from In Good Taste.
Kimberly is drinking: 2018 Beaver Creek Fairytale Cabernet blend.
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Visit the AwakeCon site to sign up for early access.
Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kimberly's blog: Are You Awakening?

Using Emo Feelings to Create, Dec 21st: End of the world (again)? Plus AwakeCon Intro
(Live on YouTube 11-27-20)
Maranda's Wine-a-Day Advent Calendar (www.ingoodtaste.com)
Kids creating potions. Why?
Maranda's new house has spider sidekicks (Redesigning a fear).
When things you've been waiting to manifest actually happen. What is that feeling?
AwakeCon.com conference announcement: Los Angeles 2021.
The Lioness vibrator with app. The first raffle prize.
Upcoming December 21, 2020 Equinox: Aquarius with Saturn and Jupiter stirring stuff up.
December 21, 2012 vs December 21, 2020. Do predictions ever come true?
Kim: Highly emotional (EMO!) times are the best times to create.
When leaders already in place go through the awakening process.
Further 8th Chakra clearing for much of humanity.
Trolls request access to Maranda's 5D meeting room.
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More on December 21, 2020 at Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
More information on AwakeCon.com, Los Angeles CA 2021.

Lightworkers and Responsible Fun, Too Spacey to Ride a Motorcycle, Ebenezer Scrooge : OG Awake Guy
How Lightworkers learn to have "responsible fun in Wonderland."
Practical Cars vs Impractical Cars: McLaren battles the Ford GT.
Debbie Downers: Devils on your shoulder pretending to be Angels.
New Year's Even in Pandemic Times.
The most Authentic You: who is that and how do you find it?
Maranda's fencing match with her ego.
Kim's motorcycle meltdown on Pacific Coast Highway.
La Parure (The Necklace) by Guy de Maupassant - a girl who didn't have all the facts.
Homeless guide changes trickle down to the physical. Good news!
Homeless camps standing up for their right to exist.
Drag Race or Something Else? Two Next Door perspectives.
One Koch brother shows remorse for his actions.
Ebenezer Scrooge: The OG Awake Guy. It only took him one night.
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Maranda is drinking: Lemoncello La Croix
Kimberly is drinking: Neverending Grey Goose and Black Cherry Pellegrino
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Check out Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender
Check out Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening?

Friday the 13th Orion Energy, Telepathy vs Whiskey, 8th Chakra Access, Dual Trump/Biden Timelines
Friday the 13th superstition, the symbol bank and the Orion Star system.
Red party cups and empowerment.
Telepathy vs Whiskey.
Jupiter / Pluto conjunction and re-examining your power.
Dual Timelines on Earth: Trump timeline and Biden timeline.
This week's 4 letter word: EASE.
Abraham Hicks and allowing.
Linear vs Holographic Thinking....one of them has got to go.
Kim's cleaning lady and using Clary Sage for clearing of fear.
Maranda pleads with ghosts.
Kim's worm saga and what happens when we refuse to face a fear.
8th Chakra Access: your higher self, your team, and your Twin Flame.
How to start automatic writing.
Choosing your best future timeline.
Why predictions don't always come to fruition.
How to stop saving the world.
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Maranda is drinking: Boozy Kombucha in a wine glass
Kimberly is drinking Pellegrino + Blue Dream
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Check out Maranda's channeling on Astro Bartender
Kim's video on 8th Chakra Access

Lightworker Overload, The Famous Pence Fly, Non-Judgment Testing
Election Day and why the A-K line was empty, while Maranda's stood forever in the L-Z line.
Kim's non-judgment test --- bravado and smugness...until the final challenge.
Flywillvote.com domain name registration and timeline jumping? You decide.
Daylight Savings Time and the collective's root assumptions about Time.
Lightworkers exhaustion and over-the-top sleep sessions this week.
Psychological astrology and how the zodiac is changing.
Earth stuff vs Soul stuff. Finding the real reasons behind those annoying recurring triggers.
Insurance in a 5D world. Is someone deciding your worth?
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Maranda is drinking: Boozy Kombucha
Kim is drinking: Grey Goose and Blood Orange Pellegrino
Get a free reading from Maranda on Astro Bartender
Kim's blog article on Lightworkers and Sleep

Dreams About Losing Your Teeth, Being Zapped in the Medulla, Maranda Manifests an Admirer
Halloween 2020 Edition
Maranda drinks Darkness.
Kim's 2-day bender on the symbolism of teeth.
Why people are so afraid of dentists.
Maranda manifests a not-so-secret admirer.
Connectivity issues near Halloween's full moon.
Being overshot with energy by the non-physical team.
How our guides are ascending too.
The Tower Card vs the Death Card.
Maranda's team censors our episode with audio issues.
Why some symbols stop showing up.
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Maranda is drinking: Bad PA wine
Kim is drinking: Ginger Tea
Check out Kimberly's art.
Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender

How 5D Looks Like Wonderland, How To Make Yourself Invisible, Do ETs Need the Nazca Lines to Land?
Kim's fear of snacks.
Maranda's swan manifestations.
How 5D is like Wonderland.
How Kim makes herself invisible.
Purging: Spiders and the fear archetype.
Natural disasters: do awake people still prep?
How to identify a guide in public.
The Nazca Lines in Peru: Why?
Scorpio season.
Mercury Retrograde: The Astrological Scapegoat.
Visit Kim's Are You Awakening blog
Check out Maranda's Astro Bartender blog

Why Pajamas are Expensive on 3D Earth, Kim vs the AARP, Dolores Cannon & Background People
The first souls to create apples + shameless imitators.
Kim's upcoming 55th birthday party and her beef with AARP.
Ricky's prediction for the end of the world in 2050 if he marries Lisa Marie Presley.
Dolores Cannon and background players - do they have souls or not?
Why pajamas are expensive on 3D Earth.
Nano clothing.
Permission slips in helping you to awaken.
Base/sacral chakra blockage + communication challenges in throat chakra.
Making assumptions about anything.
Mars energy and sovereignty.
Taking care of yourself first.
Check out Kim's YT Channel Are You Awakening
Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Dolores Cannon's books discussed: The Convoluted Universe series

Maranda's 170-Year Old House, Hating Photos of Yourself, Why Pluto is a Badass Planet
Maranda goes back 170 years to design her new house.
How kids' movies plant seeds in you & help you revisit your past.
Being a Consciousness with a Body vs a Body with Consciousness.
What you eat: your belief systems and how they affect your physical form.
Various states of Tipsy - including the labels we put on terms.
Pluto in retrograde and why Pluto is a female badass.
Check out Kim's blog at Are You Awakening
Check out Maranda's blog at Astro Bartender

WAIT is a 4-letter Word, Kimberly's Alternate-Timeline Photo Shoot, Why You See 11:11
Kim and Maranda had a lighthearted chat about the craziness of waiting for things to manifest.
While 100 Million people were watching the Presidential debates, Kim and Maranda chose a different timeline...one that isn't affected by political discord or pandemics. It may be worse, though. It's the timeline of WAITING.
With many planets going out of retrograde this week, this is a time for revisiting things. Old boyfriend memories. Childhood stuff that needed to get cleared out. Nostalgia.
What seems like waiting is actually You, rebalancing energy to let out the things you don't want, and let in the things that you do want. During these times, it looks like nothing is happening because it seems like your physical world isn't manifesting anything new.
The Mystics use the analogy of a wooden roller coaster: a little bit rickety, really loud, and sort of unpredictable. Life will have its ups and downs, of course, and those segments will have beginnings and ends that you will learn to recognize. This helps you enjoy the ride a bit more, even if it flings hair in your eyes around a few turns.
You are shedding characteristics of an old self that no longer represents who you've become. Let it go.
If you must use the word "wait, then see if you can re-label the WAIT into WORTH THE WAIT.
Check out Maranda's channeled wisdom at Astro Bartender
Visit Kimberly's blog at Are You Awakening
*Sorry for the audio - it's the exact same setup as usual, with different results. Here is an example of a communication issue at work. We stated that there were issues, and thus we turned our statement into form. Thoughts create. As within, so without. And so it is. This shit is real.

Bad Behavior in Atlantis, Transferring House Flies in a Zoom Meeting, and Napoleon Hill - The OG Manifester
Human + Animal experimentation in Atlantis and why Centaurs always look mad.
How Maranda eliminated squirrels from Kim's timeline.
Kim transfers a fly over a Zoom meeting.
Ruth Bader Ginsberg's accomplishments and why she'll be back really soon.
Maranda goes back 150 years to design the house she wants to buy now.
'Think and Grow Rich' - Napoleon Hill and how his deaf son learned to hear.
Faith and Knowing - Your Higher Self wants you to win.
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Maranda is drinking: Elderflower carbonated water.
Kim is drinking: Black Cherry Pelligrino.
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Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kim's You Tube Channel Are You Awakening

Timelines, Spam Texts and Disappearing Houses
First episode on Twitch
Tipsy: It's a state of mind. No chemicals required unless you choose them.
Maranda channels Janis Joplin.
What to do with downloads you receive.
Maranda's download: The Creation of the Universe.
Kimberly's download: A full emergency rescue manual.
Souls just wanna have fun.
Timeline inconsistencies: Houses appearing and disappearing.
Maranda's disappearing ex-boyfriend.
Your physical body as a representation of what you think about yourself.
Kimberly's friend that's been invisible for 22 years.
Kimberly picks out dresses for the Oscars.
New Maranda visits Old Maranda.
Being told you're a shitty person.
The Fun House vs The Haunted House.
Family and Friends who refuse to accept their roles as creators of their reality.
How lightworkers can resemble therapists. Talking to others' Higher Selves.
Spam calls and texts and their symbolism
Upcoming timelines: sunnier and more freedom.
How to tell when you've made a major timeline switch.
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Maranda is drinking: Tequila!
Kimberly: Pellegrino and Jack Herer vape pen
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Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening

9-11 Edition: Mr. T as a Guide, Laying Around As An Art, The Weird Images Your Guides Send You
9-11 Edition: How you store primary events as memories
Going through the "potato" stage of awakening
Laying around as an art
Mr. T as a guide
Kimberly promises to channel Janis Joplin on stage
New Channeled Artifact: Mysterious Lumanian Runes
Maranda's Guides appearing as the Simpsons' cast
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Maranda is drinking: Tequila!
Kimberly is drinking: Pellegrino and a hit from the Jack Herer vape pen
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Visit Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
See Kimberly's art collaboration with Janis Joplin
Check out the Are You Awakening blog

DEATH on the Physical and 5D levels, Maranda's Exit from 3D, and Plasma Insects in Your Home
From a YouTube Live Chat recorded 9-9-2020
Kimberly's "Charlotte's Web" scenario with a Kitchen Spider
The death of Maranda's Ego
Everything is in retrograde
Future Stoned Mystics episodes as soon as marijuana is legalized in Pennsylvania
Plasma Spiders and Flies are in your home right now
People delivering messages to you without knowing it
Maranda explains The North Node and facts being stuffed down our throats
Kimberly's beef with the Industrial Revolution, and a cardboard box anachronism
How humans are trained to suffer vs grow in joy
Neck tape
Polite flies vs impolite flies
Why you create the props in your environment
How we give our power away - to insects, to others, and to the ego.
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Maranda is drinking: Downeast Pumpkin Cider
Kimberly is drinking: Quaderna Via Viticultura Ecologica Red blend from Spain
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Visit Maranda's site Astro Bartender
See this video on YouTube

Throat Chakra Meltdowns, Working With Seth, and Maranda's Automatic Writing
Maranda and Kimberly both have frogs in their throats...so why NOT hit the record button???
Kim's Throwback Chrome Tab Configuration from 3 years ago shows up today.
Why Maranda dreads cleaning out old apartments after she moves.
Kim's art collaboration with Reptilian artist Azior.
The God concept: Come Save Us! (and why there are so many superheros).
How tacos fit into the Archetypes.
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Maranda is drinking: PA Mojito Cider
Kim is drinking: Elossa Hard Kombucha
Visit Maranda's site Astro Bartender
See Kim's Reptilian Art Collaborations

The End of the World, the Lumanians, and Bringing Your Family to New Earth
Will the world end on Dec 21, 2020?
The Lumanians
Choosing which timeline you prefer: A peaceful world or a sploady world?
How your consciousness blinks on and off
The impossibility of UN-BEING
Accessing Akashic Records and how Kimberly taps into Janis Joplin
Collective beliefs about the future
Bringing your family to New Earth with you
Kimberly's failure at playing music and why she bought a Roli
Where does Mahjong come in?
*There are some noises that appeared on this recording which we did not edit out. We were guided to leave them in there, as they are related to the discussions surrounding the Lumanians and their unusually expressive art.
Maranda is drinking: Bonterra Rose
Kimberly is drinking: Ampelos 2015 Pinot Noir (Lambda: the magnitude)
Read Maranda's channels.
See Kimberly's art collaboration with Janis Joplin

Earth as a Game Board - Catsuits and Yachts in the Mediterranean
Game Theory, Twin Flames and Gamemasters
Hinduism and Leela
Prime Events and timelines hooking up
Meeting prior to incarnation in preparation for the Earth Game
Kimberly's Life between Life session, and Maranda's QHHT session
Playing roles on the Game Board - Dark vs Light
Mars and Maldek blowing up, and Mars-Neptune aspects
How subtle the Higher Self is when it speaks. No yelling!
Truman in the Control Room
Maranda's Game Board: Barbie on the Yacht in the Mediterranean
Kimberly's Game Board: Catsuits, Double Agents and Orion Galactic History
Former Orion inhabitants who still like to fight - movie lovers, actors and gamers
Kimberly's B&D headshots in New Orleans
Choosing costumes on the Game Board once you know you're there
Possibilities available on the Game Board -- all of them!
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Maranda is drinking: Rose cider - Virtue Cider
Kimberly is drinking: Frey's Biodynamic Mendocino Red
Check out Maranda's blog
Check out Kimberly's YouTube channel

Lion's Gate...and Not Really Knowing What That Means
Change...and how we beg for it, but freak out when it actually comes.
Kimberly's misinterpreted landlord letter that sent her into a moving tizzy.
Maranda's assistance in finding the perfect house---for another family.
The final answer to when your Twin Flame will show up.
Kimberly's conversation with a newborn.
Aquarius, Uranus and how resisting change can send you surprises.
Fashion while quarantined.
Collective: Fears being addressed and codes unlocked.
Not so awake family members who still cheer you on.
Maranda is drinking: Malbec Rosé.
Kimberly is drinking: Grey Goose and Elderberry Lemonade.
Read Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Read Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening

Elvis, The Pleiadians & The "Right" Way to Wake Up
What is the "Right Way" to wake up?
Are you "supposed" to eat meat, or "should" you drink alcohol?
Kimberly's life as a Mexican dancer (Pilar)
Maranda's Spanish Identity (Pilar)
House Numerology: 5 houses vs 9 houses
Seeing people that others can't see
Women that leer at Truckerlicious men
Bucket Lists: Kimberly's #1 (too dirty to tell) and the Second Floor of Graceland
Elvis and the Pleiades
Navigating on a plane where people can't see you
Maranda Drinking Kombrewcha
Kimberly Drinking Frey Biodynamic Red
Check out Maranda's blog Astro Bartender
Kimberly's YouTube Channel

5D Spacey in a 3D World, Visiting Hybrid Children, Living Without a Television
Functioning from that Spacey State
Maranda's beef with Jesus
Journey of Souls books by Michael Newton
Maranda's therapy session: Manifesting money
Civilized Extraterrestrial societies' barter systems
Visiting hybrid children
When you don't have a television
Maranda's intention to manifest a pair of swans
Kimberly's therapy session: The cleaning lady who thinks she's a witch
Visit Kimberly's blog: "Are You Awakening?"
Visit Maranda's blog: "Astro Bartender"

5D: Weird With No Frame of Reference
- Letting go of old assumptions but nothing to replace them with.
- Allowing new things to come in without judgment.
- Superstitions and whether or not you choose to believe in them.
- Surrender and trusting the Higher Self
- If “I’m” not in charge...who the hell is?!
Maranda explains Leo + the Sun relationship, not knowing how big limitless can be, and why you don't have to know the "why" of everything.
Kimberly explains how bird poop leads to a lottery ticket, and how easy it is for humans to believe what comes to them via online feeds without asking if it's true.
Replacing negative thought loops with Icons, or images that disrupt the pattern and get you back on the positive side of thinking.
Visit Maranda on IG at @astrobartender
Visit Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening at https://awa.ke/blog or YouTube https://awa.re/yt

Awakening Symptoms: Icky, Annoying & Fun
Here's a preview of the Tipsy Mystics' new podcast.
Grab a cocktail and join Maranda and Kimberly as they discuss the humorous aspects of the awakening process. You're creating your reality. Why not have fun?
In this preview episode, the Tipsy Mystics share three types of awakening symptoms:
Icky
Annoying
Fun
Maranda then attempts to explain astrological charts, aspecting planets and archetypes to Kimberly, who remains clueless about such things.
Beverages imbibed: Kimberly: 2015 Paxton McLaren Vale AAA Shiraz/Grenache --- in honor of her favorite car. https://organicwineexchange.com/produ...
Maranda: Tequila and Watermelon Kombucha
Visit Maranda on IG @astrobartender
Visit Kimberly's blog Are You Awakening at https://awa.ke/blog or YouTube https://awa.ke/yt
(Sound quality is improved in future episodes.)