Tipsy Mystics

Do you feel an urgent call to save.....anyone?  If so, you're exploring a common theme with other Lightworkers.  

Kim and Maranda discuss the theme of Light vs Dark polarity, and how saving the world was never really the intention in the first place.  You came here to expand in joy, and the only thing you need to save...is room for dessert.

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Maranda is drinking hard Kombucha

Kimberly is drinking LaCroix and a hit of Clementine by Select.

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Kim and Maranda are back!  With shorter episodes for those of you with over-stimulated evolving minds.  What a wild ride this is!

Your guides are here by previous agreement, to help you expand your consciousness.  They can take any shape, from acrobat to dead possum, to the cashier at your favorite store.  It's all about service---with messages and lessons passed around in any interaction.  Will you get the most out of it?  Do you know how you're serving others as a guide?

In any case, the Tipsy Mystics always recommend that you include humor in the mix, for the Universe is all about inclusion. :)  

When things aren't taken so seriously, you are relaxed enough to apply the message, and recognize the levity of any situation.  We're all here to expand, so you might as well have fun.

Our motto:  Drinks on the patio.

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Maranda is drinking:  Hard Kombucha

Kim is drinking:  Coffee with Clementine Sativa

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What 5D versions of your family look like.

Choosing to stay in 3D vs trusting yourself in 5D.

Kim gets "Pixied" on Santa Monica Blvd.

Why corn mazes are complicated.

The weirdest way to manifest laundry soap.

Maranda goes to Target for guidance.

Threats:  Dangling a kid over the shark tank.

Inside the minds of death row inmates.

Attachments vs associations, and how to drop them in 5D.

New bird on our timeline:  Fairy Wren

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Maranda is drinking:  pineapple seltzer

Kimberly is drinking:  Truly Hard Lemonade

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Tipsy Mystics live from the Light Grid, from YouTube transmission.

What is the Light Grid?

The Non-physical Unseen Audience that accompanies you everywhere you go.

Maranda's Windfall Day:  Manifesting abundance in 20 minutes.

The 17-year drawn-out sex life of cicadas.

How assumptions can steer you down a path of despair--most times.

Full lunar eclipse:  Who do you trust?

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Maranda is drinking: Watermelon tequila? + LaCroix coconut soda.

Kim is drinking:  Canned wine

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When Orion energies move to Earth and play the bad guys.

Timeline glitches that make it feel like Groundhog Day.

Has The Event started? Power imbalances arising for the collective.

How Seth is sneaking back into 2021 timelines.

Your 5D Self and your Instagram feed.

5D inertia: Half exhaustion, half wild energy.

New Earth bartering exchange: free information and everyone wins.

Why underpaid workers are refusing to work, and how it's changing the job market.

2021 finances: The darkest divine comedy.

Maranda's last pennies.

What funemployed lightworkers do with their day.

Arcturians challenge humans to a duel:  Faith vs Mental Processing.  Pretty sure we all know who wins.

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Maranda is drinking:  Loverboy Hard Tea

Kimberly is drinking: Pellegrino again

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Mentioned in podcast:  Seth books by Jane Roberts

• Kim's Masters Thesis on Alice in Wonderland
• Alexandr the spammer
• Things don't have to be hard
• The downfall of corporate swag
• Funemployed and buying with abandon
• Telepathy : when pictures replace words
• Kim's ride on a really big multidimensional animal
• Recognizing the energy of loved ones
• Maranda visits WW2 ancestors and showers them with love
• Why "screaming into the abyss" is a great rebalancing practice
• Pluto in Retrograde - stuff's being revealed
• How Ted Cruz helped the collective evolve
• Why does Kim have a Mahjong set?
• Lightworkers & The Vax

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Maranda is drinking:  Canned Wine!

Kimberly is drinking:  Tangerine Pellegrino

It's a Tipsy Trio as our friend Tess joins us with her special perspective.

Will tearing down old statues change the future?

News of a fake alien invasion:  Is it "Wag the Dog" or adventurous timeline fun? Hint: Humanity loves ETs.

How close are we to full extraterrestrial contact?

How kindness bloomed during the pandemic.

All about healing.  How much is enough?

Maranda's boxed-in job counseling session.

Using crystals to aid the healing of physical ailments.

Do you have a failsafe frequency raiser?

5D wackiness:  Tess gets messages for Kimberly.

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No More Human Rules - Universal rules override the human condition

Maranda and Kim have one foot firmly planted on each plane: Half 3D and half 5D.

How Kim lost an entire company from her past.

Which belief changed your reality the most when you redesigned it?  Hint:  People aren’t shitty.

Dead animals appearing in our beautiful 5D reality….are we mis-manifesting?

How movies like “Michael” and “Elf” plant seeds about limitless life.  We can learn from all that sugar.

Spirit essences practicing physicality in Kim’s kitchen.

Birds popping from balls of light. Are dragons next?

The Suez Canal incident: a large boat emulating sexual positions, or invasion of Earth’s biggest portal? You decide.

Vibrating underwear and long distance lamps to practice telepathy?

Kim’s other self wants a newer Porsche.  Kim disagrees.  Their “battle” turns physical.

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Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha, big surprise

Kim is drinking: Mango White Claw + Jack Herer

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Kim and Maranda have just had enough of the whole awakening process, feeling glued in place with one foot stuck on each plane...and no clear instructions.

If you are feeling torn between the physical world and the spiritual world, are not sure what exactly is solid and what isn't anymore, then this session is for you.  We get lost in parallel realities, voice our disdain for all things symbolic ("Just tell me the damn answer!"), and finally end up admitting that the journey is fun, despite our bitching.

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Maranda is absolutely drinking.  (Kombucha of course)

Kimberly's drink is a responsible chemistry experiment including vodka + electrolytes. + Blue Dream.

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When spiritual sources you trust trigger you instead.

Weird things that awake people buy to amuse themselves.

Maranda's 5D Starbucks baristas nearly break out into dance.

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Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha with pink gin

Kimberly is drinking: Peppermint Tea (from The Tea Spot) with Green Dream

Maranda's car spinning wheels for no reason - when the Universe wins.

Being stuck in the snow and in life.

Escapes go bye-bye in 5D.

Deserving to get what you give.

Learning to accept help after Hurricane Katrina.

Work separation anxieties.

Associations made with Valentine's Day.

Communicating with dead relatives.

Kim's dead brother Chuck gives motorcycle instructions.

Perfectionism vs Non-Perfectionist.

Lightworkers as Cosmic Triggers.

Eating fried chicken with the Amish, learning about Excellence.

No longer needing sunglasses as your eyes adjust to the sun.

Recognizing yourself in human mirrors and healing on the spot.

A watched pot can never boil. Let the damn pot boil!

Your body as a neon sign. 

Cold spells as you release fear.

Water unlocks memories.

Kim's life as a catty burlesque dancer.

It's a beautiful life.

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Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha, of course.

Kim:  Green Dream

Maranda shows up in Kim's dream to question her integrity.

Symbolism in 3D world, decoded from a 5D perspective.

Subscription-based services:  Do you always choose the free version?

Gamestop, Reddit and unity in choices made for the collective.

Kim's flashback of the meanest thing she's ever done to a human.

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Sorry for the audio, that was Kim's bad.

Maranda is drinking:  Happy Kombucha with L-Theanine

Kim is drinking:  Titos and Tangerine soda

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Shopping in 5D

Former Scrooge Maranda gets a new view of abundance.

Symbolism of broken toilets

The Lottery: funding someone else's abundance.

Control vs Power

Maranda's intention to champion King's Tennis.

Lightworkers and Kitchen Spiders.

Guides explaining where found money comes from.

You, healing other You's.  PS:  They heal you too.

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Dry January (so far):

Maranda is drinking: Sparkling Water

Kimberly is drinking:  Still Water

Keeping castoff furniture vs what you really want.

Imagining Earth without landfills.

Functional Fixedness - Multiple uses = multiple possibilities.

Uncovering telepathic skills.

The glass of water that moved tables in front of oblivious partygoers.

Do you believe channeled beings more than your Higher Self?

Earth as a Living Library and why humans are so valuable.

All about shame.

People talking to themselves in public.  Is this you?

Mars moving out of Aries - release that anger!

Different ways to look at the Storming of the Capitol.  Change or Strife?

Your reality need not match ANYONE else's.

The future of Earth as a Party Planet.

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Maranda is drinking:  Dry January....kombucha.

Kim is drinking:  Moringa Sage tea.

Warning:  Explicit language! :)

Maranda moves into the house she designed 170 years ago.

House Fairies and how they share space with you.

Swan update.

Third-grade Kim steals a horse.

Why New Earth can have happy sanitation workers.

Memory bleedthroughs starting.  Which door is the right door?

Deja vu in the Now.

How and why people arrive in your life, and when they leave.

People judging Lightworkers as "crazy."

Creating life from a misinterpreted text message.

Who are you bringing with you to New Earth?

The AwakeCon Spider room and Gumbyphobia.

Psychological Flexibility in 2021.

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Maranda is drinking:  Kombucha (dry January)

Kim is drinking Pellegrino and Tito's + Green Dream

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Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction and how the Age of Aquarius is a really good thing.

Message from Maranda's non-physical team:  Cannons of Confetti!

How to redesign your past.  

Jumping down to 3D to take Harmony to the mechanic.

Kim's showdown with food beliefs:  Risotto wins.

Kim meets her homeless friend Ricky on another plane.

Turtle sex.

When the Higher Self takes over the conversation....without prior notice.

Recognizing the awakening path of others:  AwakeDar.

How kids use intuition naturally...and win games!

Buddha's Hand Fruit - is it creative beta testing?.

Divine Masculines opening their hearts on The Bachelorette.

Send Maranda your birth chart and she may ask you for a date.

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Maranda is drinking: Cabernet Advent Wine

Kim is drinking: 2017 Barbera del Monteferrato red

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Having a multidimensional whine session with the guides.

Truckersexuals

Maranda's body goes numb...and she's too numb to investigate.

Kim's reckoning with risotto. 

Testing patience through trust.

Maranda requires a plan in the 5D world of unknowns.

The 5D plumber that clears drains in no time.

Kim's missing gloves - still in a parallel reality.

What timelessness looks like. 

Zapping the past and re-associating things.

Maranda's weather forecast from another timeline.

Things to do when you worry:  Worry Huts, Worry Dolls, Essential Oils.

Astrological Pop-quiz: Pull in the knowledge from other lives.

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Maranda is drinking:  Red Advent Wine

Kim is drinking Pellegrino & Blue Dream

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Maranda emotes feelings on the 5D plane.

Housefly symbolism and Venus Fly Traps (Dark vs Light in the plant world?).

Kimberly views life through the eyes of a Hammerhead Shark.

Couples Facebook Accounts:  Maranda's unexpected reply.

Twin Flame theme:  integration or lost identity?

Who is responsible for the Monoliths? Hint:  it's all in good fun.

Kimberly loses her gloves in a parallel reality and can't get back.

The Oh Shi(f)t Timeline at AwakeCon.

How Harry Styles is rocking the cover of Vogue.

When you stop judging others and move to yourself.

Seth on natural guilt vs artificial guilt.

Early December astrological leanings associated with guilt.

The 12th house, and anything related to Neptune or Pisces.  

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(Live on YouTube 11-27-20)

Maranda's Wine-a-Day Advent Calendar (www.ingoodtaste.com)

Kids creating potions.  Why?

Maranda's new house has spider sidekicks (Redesigning a fear).

When things you've been waiting to manifest actually happen.  What is that feeling?

AwakeCon.com conference announcement:  Los Angeles 2021.

The Lioness vibrator with app.  The first raffle prize.

Upcoming December 21, 2020 Equinox:  Aquarius with Saturn and Jupiter stirring stuff up.

December 21, 2012 vs December 21, 2020.  Do predictions ever come true?

Kim:  Highly emotional (EMO!) times are the best times to create.

When leaders already in place go through the awakening process. 

Further 8th Chakra clearing for much of humanity.

Trolls request access to Maranda's 5D meeting room.

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How Lightworkers learn to have "responsible fun in Wonderland."

Practical Cars vs Impractical Cars:  McLaren battles the Ford GT.

Debbie Downers: Devils on your shoulder pretending to be Angels.

New Year's Even in Pandemic Times.

The most Authentic You: who is that and how do you find it?

Maranda's fencing match with her ego.

Kim's motorcycle meltdown on Pacific Coast Highway.

La Parure (The Necklace) by Guy de Maupassant - a girl who didn't have all the facts.

Homeless guide changes trickle down to the physical.  Good news!

Homeless camps standing up for their right to exist.

Drag Race or Something Else?  Two Next Door perspectives.

One Koch brother shows remorse for his actions.

Ebenezer Scrooge:  The OG Awake Guy.  It only took him one night.

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Maranda is drinking:  Lemoncello La Croix

Kimberly is drinking:  Neverending Grey Goose and Black Cherry Pellegrino

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Friday the 13th superstition, the symbol bank and the Orion Star system.

Red party cups and empowerment.

Telepathy vs Whiskey.

Jupiter / Pluto conjunction and re-examining your power.

Dual Timelines on Earth:  Trump timeline and Biden timeline.

This week's 4 letter word:  EASE.

Abraham Hicks and allowing.

Linear vs Holographic Thinking....one of them has got to go.

Kim's cleaning lady and using Clary Sage for clearing of fear.

Maranda pleads with ghosts.

Kim's worm saga and what happens when we refuse to face a fear.

8th Chakra Access:  your higher self, your team, and your Twin Flame.

How to start automatic writing.

Choosing your best future timeline.

Why predictions don't always come to fruition.

How to stop saving the world.

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Maranda is drinking:  Boozy Kombucha in a wine glass

Kimberly is drinking Pellegrino + Blue Dream

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Election Day and why the A-K line was empty, while Maranda's stood forever in the L-Z line.

Kim's non-judgment test --- bravado and smugness...until the final challenge.

Flywillvote.com domain name registration and timeline jumping? You decide.

Daylight Savings Time and the collective's root assumptions about Time.

Lightworkers exhaustion and over-the-top sleep sessions this week.

Psychological astrology and how the zodiac is changing.

Earth stuff vs Soul stuff.  Finding the real reasons behind those annoying recurring triggers.

Insurance in a 5D world.  Is someone deciding your worth?

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Maranda is drinking:  Boozy Kombucha

Kim is drinking:  Grey Goose and Blood Orange Pellegrino

Halloween 2020 Edition

Maranda drinks Darkness.

Kim's 2-day bender on the symbolism of teeth.

Why people are so afraid of dentists.

Maranda manifests a not-so-secret admirer.

Connectivity issues near Halloween's full moon.

Being overshot with energy by the non-physical team.

How our guides are ascending too.

The Tower Card vs the Death Card.

Maranda's team censors our episode with audio issues.

Why some symbols stop showing up.

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Maranda is drinking:  Bad PA wine

Kim is drinking:  Ginger Tea

Kim's fear of snacks.

Maranda's swan manifestations.

How 5D is like Wonderland.

How Kim makes herself invisible.

Purging: Spiders and the fear archetype.

Natural disasters: do awake people still prep?

How to identify a guide in public.

The Nazca Lines in Peru:  Why?

Scorpio season.

Mercury Retrograde:  The Astrological Scapegoat.

The first souls to create apples + shameless imitators.

Kim's upcoming 55th birthday party and her beef with AARP.

Ricky's prediction for the end of the world in 2050 if he marries Lisa Marie Presley.

Dolores Cannon and background players -  do they have souls or not?

Why pajamas are expensive on 3D Earth.

Nano clothing.

Permission slips in helping you to awaken.

Base/sacral chakra blockage + communication challenges in throat chakra.

Making assumptions about anything.

Mars energy and sovereignty.

Taking care of yourself first. 

Maranda goes back 170 years to design her new house.

How kids' movies plant seeds in you & help you revisit your past.

Being a Consciousness with a Body vs a Body with Consciousness.

What you eat:  your belief systems and how they affect your physical form.

Various states of Tipsy - including the labels we put on terms.

Pluto in retrograde and why Pluto is a female badass.

Kim and Maranda had a lighthearted chat about the craziness of waiting for things to manifest.  

While 100 Million people were watching the Presidential debates, Kim and Maranda chose a different timeline...one that isn't affected by political discord or pandemics.  It may be worse, though.  It's the timeline of WAITING.  

With many planets going out of retrograde this week, this is a time for revisiting things.  Old boyfriend memories.  Childhood stuff that needed to get cleared out.  Nostalgia.    

What seems like waiting is actually You, rebalancing energy to let out the things you don't want, and let in the things that you do want.  During these times, it looks like nothing is happening because it seems like your physical world isn't manifesting anything new. 

 The Mystics use the analogy of a wooden roller coaster:  a little bit rickety, really loud, and sort of unpredictable.  Life will have its ups and downs, of course, and those segments will have beginnings and ends that you will learn to recognize.  This helps you enjoy the ride a bit more, even if it flings hair in your eyes around a few turns.  

You are shedding characteristics of an old self that no longer represents who you've become.  Let it go.  

If you must use the word "wait, then see if you can re-label the WAIT into WORTH THE WAIT.   

Human + Animal experimentation in Atlantis and why Centaurs always look mad.

How Maranda eliminated squirrels from Kim's timeline.

Kim transfers a fly over a Zoom meeting.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg's accomplishments and why she'll be back really soon.

Maranda goes back 150 years to design the house she wants to buy now.

'Think and Grow Rich' - Napoleon Hill and how his deaf son learned to hear.

Faith and Knowing - Your Higher Self wants you to win.

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Maranda is drinking:  Elderflower carbonated water.

Kim is drinking:  Black Cherry Pelligrino.

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First episode on Twitch

Tipsy:  It's a state of mind.  No chemicals required unless you choose them.

Maranda channels Janis Joplin.

What to do with downloads you receive.

Maranda's download:  The Creation of the Universe.

Kimberly's download:  A full emergency rescue manual.

Souls just wanna have fun.

Timeline inconsistencies:  Houses appearing and disappearing.

Maranda's disappearing ex-boyfriend.

Your physical body as a representation of what you think about yourself.

Kimberly's friend that's been invisible for 22 years.

Kimberly picks out dresses for the Oscars.

New Maranda visits Old Maranda.

Being told you're a shitty person.

The Fun House vs The Haunted House.

Family and Friends who refuse to accept their roles as creators of their reality.

How lightworkers can resemble therapists.  Talking to others' Higher Selves.

Spam calls and texts and their symbolism

Upcoming timelines:  sunnier and more freedom.

How to tell when you've made a major timeline switch.

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Maranda is drinking:  Tequila!

Kimberly:  Pellegrino and Jack Herer vape pen

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9-11 Edition:  How you store primary events as memories

Going through the "potato" stage of awakening

Laying around as an art

Mr. T as a guide

Kimberly promises to channel Janis Joplin on stage

New Channeled Artifact: Mysterious Lumanian Runes 

Maranda's Guides appearing as the Simpsons' cast

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Maranda is drinking:  Tequila!

Kimberly is drinking:  Pellegrino and a hit from the Jack Herer vape pen

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From a YouTube Live Chat recorded 9-9-2020

Kimberly's "Charlotte's Web" scenario with a Kitchen Spider

The death of Maranda's Ego

Everything is in retrograde

Future Stoned Mystics episodes as soon as marijuana is legalized in Pennsylvania

Plasma Spiders and Flies are in your home right now

People delivering messages to you without knowing it

Maranda explains The North Node and facts being stuffed down our throats

Kimberly's beef with the Industrial Revolution, and a cardboard box anachronism

How humans are trained to suffer vs grow in joy

Neck tape

Polite flies vs impolite flies

Why you create the props in your environment

How we give our power away -  to insects, to others, and to the ego.

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Maranda is drinking:  Downeast Pumpkin Cider

Kimberly is drinking: Quaderna Via Viticultura Ecologica Red blend from Spain

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Maranda and Kimberly both have frogs in their throats...so why NOT hit the record button???

Kim's Throwback Chrome Tab Configuration from 3 years ago shows up today.

Why Maranda dreads cleaning out old apartments after she moves.

Kim's art collaboration with Reptilian artist Azior.

The God concept: Come Save Us! (and why there are so many superheros).

How tacos fit into the Archetypes.

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Maranda is drinking: PA Mojito Cider

Kim is drinking:  Elossa Hard Kombucha

Will the world end on Dec 21, 2020?

The Lumanians

Choosing which timeline you prefer: A peaceful world or a sploady world?

How your consciousness blinks on and off

The impossibility of UN-BEING

Accessing Akashic Records and how Kimberly taps into Janis Joplin

Collective beliefs about the future

Bringing your family to New Earth with you

Kimberly's failure at playing music and why she bought a Roli

Where does Mahjong come in?

*There are some noises that appeared on this recording which we did not edit out.  We were guided to leave them in there, as they are related to the discussions surrounding the Lumanians and their unusually expressive art.

Maranda is drinking: Bonterra Rose

Kimberly is drinking:  Ampelos 2015 Pinot Noir (Lambda: the magnitude)

Game Theory, Twin Flames and Gamemasters

Hinduism and Leela

Prime Events and timelines hooking up

Meeting prior to incarnation in preparation for the Earth Game

Kimberly's Life between Life session, and Maranda's QHHT session

Playing roles on the Game Board -  Dark vs Light

Mars and Maldek blowing up, and Mars-Neptune aspects

How subtle the Higher Self is when it speaks.  No yelling!

Truman in the Control Room

Maranda's Game Board:  Barbie on the Yacht in the Mediterranean

Kimberly's Game Board:  Catsuits, Double Agents and Orion Galactic History

Former Orion inhabitants who still like to fight - movie lovers, actors and gamers

Kimberly's B&D headshots in New Orleans

Choosing costumes on the Game Board once you know you're there

Possibilities available on the Game Board -- all of them!

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Maranda is drinking:  Rose cider - Virtue Cider

Kimberly is drinking:  Frey's Biodynamic Mendocino Red

Change...and how we beg for it, but freak out when it actually comes.

Kimberly's misinterpreted landlord letter that sent her into a moving tizzy.

Maranda's assistance in finding the perfect house---for another family.

The final answer to when your Twin Flame will show up.

Kimberly's conversation with a newborn.

Aquarius, Uranus and how resisting change can send you surprises.

Fashion while quarantined.

Collective:  Fears being addressed and codes unlocked.

Not so awake family members who still cheer you on.

Maranda is drinking: Malbec Rosé.

Kimberly is drinking:  Grey Goose and Elderberry Lemonade.

What is the "Right Way" to wake up?

Are you "supposed" to eat meat, or "should" you drink alcohol?

Kimberly's life as a Mexican dancer (Pilar)

Maranda's Spanish Identity (Pilar)

House Numerology: 5 houses vs 9 houses

Seeing people that others can't see

Women that leer at Truckerlicious men

Bucket Lists:  Kimberly's #1 (too dirty to tell)  and the Second Floor of Graceland

Elvis and the Pleiades

Navigating on a plane where people can't see you

Maranda Drinking Kombrewcha

Kimberly Drinking Frey Biodynamic Red

Functioning from that Spacey State

Maranda's beef with Jesus

Journey of Souls books by Michael Newton

Maranda's therapy session: Manifesting money

Civilized Extraterrestrial societies' barter systems

Visiting hybrid children

When you don't have a television

Maranda's intention to manifest a pair of swans

Kimberly's therapy session:  The cleaning lady who thinks she's a witch

Here's a preview of the Tipsy Mystics' new podcast.   

Grab a cocktail and join Maranda and Kimberly as they discuss the humorous aspects of the awakening process.  You're creating your reality.  Why not have fun?  

In this preview episode, the Tipsy Mystics share three types of awakening symptoms:  

Icky 

Annoying  

Fun  

Maranda then attempts to explain astrological charts, aspecting planets and archetypes to Kimberly, who remains clueless about such things.