Trans and Caffeinated

IG/Twitter: @meghanannette

Ca$happ: $MeghanAnnette

A transcript of this episode is now available at transandcaffeinated.com/transcripts/

PAYMENT |

PAYMENT

When is the last time you laid down on your bed with a sweet, purring cat curled up on your chest, took a long, deep breath, and remembered to forget the world, if only for a moment? If your answer is “never” or “I can’t remember,” then take a second—if you can—to do that right now. Pause this episode, take a deep breath in, take an even longer breath out, ground yourself in this moment, and remind yourself that it is okay to just be.

This is what Mx. Lex Pe’er Horwitz wants you to remember: that you are enough. That you are okay. That your understanding of yourself and your identity does not have to conform to some pre-scripted road map in order for your experiences and your self-knowledge to be valid.

You are trans enough. You are queer enough. You are right where you need to be.

A jack of many trades—and equally gifted in all of them—Lex shares unique and often profound perspectives about gender and sexuality, transition, mental health, the magic of fur babies, and just life in general. Our conversation was every bit as thought-provoking and transformative as it was hopeful and warm, and you will walk away from this episode having learned something, or multiple somethings, or thinking about parts of the world in a whole new way.

This episode mentions gender dysphoria, gender-based trauma, transphobia, homophobia, racism, depression, and suicide.

Have you heard of Felix Tran? ...no? Well, that’s surprising!

Felix is a Seattle-based, Vietnamese-American, transgender artist voted most likely to have huge bursts of energy at 1:00 AM and work until 5:00.

A little under two years ago, Felix co-founded and designed a logo for Coffee at Large—or “CAL”—which launched with a barista-led coffee-shop walkout that rocked the coffee world. Within days, everybody and their cousin had set CAL’s logo as their Instagram profile picture, in solidarity with industry workers facing workplace mistreatment.

Felix—also known by their impulsively yet aptly-named art alter-ego softvelvetboy—has since become one of the industry’s go-to digital illustrators and graphic designers. Felix is hugely self-aware, and I constantly admire their commitment to growth—both as a person, and as an artist.

This episode mentions sex and genitals, cancel culture, the prison-industrial complex, workplace mistreatment, hormones, and transmedicalism.

This is Felix Tran on cancel culture, being horny, and softvelvetboy

SOCIAL

It’s never easy to navigate the dichotomy of upholding anti-capitalist principles and beliefs while running a for-profit business—but Cheyenne Xochítl Love remains mindful of this balance, while learning new skills along the way.

Cheyenne is the Indigenous, two-spirit, non-binary trans girl behind Queer Wave Coffee, where she roasts Honduran coffee on Chochenyo Ohlone land or precolonized Oakland, CA.

For her, being queer means that we create new avenues that allow us to break free from the straight, binary, and oppressive path we have been taught. This goes not only for gender and sexuality, but also for the fundamentally anti-nature manner of existence to which we are expected to adhere.

Cheyenne contests the notion that diversity and inclusion efforts are a panacea for workplace oppression, instead challenging employers to emphasize which groups they exclude. She proudly displays “1312” in the bottom corner of each of her bags, and publicly shares her commitment to dismantle patriarchy, white supremacy, and other oppressions in both her professional and private life.

This episode mentions police violence, white supremacy, violence toward and erasure of Indigenous people and identities, COVID-19, and patriarchy.

This is Cheyenne Xochítl Love on rejecting your bullshit “inclusive” paradigm

SOCIAL

Mar León is a lot like nature: their gender cycles with the passage of each season, they are justifiably angry about the impact of capitalism, and they are tired of white people-centric approaches to problem-solving.

Mar is raising their voice and fighting for justice in the face of oppressive systems designed to disempower their communities. As a disability justice advocate, Mar’s efforts are focused through the lens of community care, interdependence, and communal abundance-making, with the understanding that scarcity is falsely created by state control over our resources.

Through their poetry, Mar highlights their experiences as a disabled, gender cyclical, non-binary Boricua in the often visceral texts of “bible perverses” and monster literature, in which they reclaim the ableist trope of “monsterhood.”

I learned a lot from Mar in our time together, and I’m confident that you will, too.

This episode mentions ableism, codependency, police brutality, environmental racism, and white supremacy.

This is Mar León on being the monster that’s under your bed.

LINKS

Em Rabelais is the white, disabled, queer, trans feminine, and non-binary ethicist, nurse, scholar, white feminism dismantler, and potential kept themmebian you never knew you needed. Until now. WHOOO that was a mouthful.

As an academic, their scholarship is rooted in disrupting and dismantling white supremacy in nursing—but Em’s work doesn’t end there. They are deeply committed to pushing back against all forms of oppression, including the rampant ableism and transmisogyny they regularly endure.

Em has no desire to play nice with oppressors—they know that the nursing status quo of niceness and civility have not changed anything. Instead, they are intense, intentional, and direct as they push back against oppressive systems designed to harm marginalized and minoritized groups and individuals—even when their methods result in immense personal backlash.

This episode mentions sexual assault, white feminism and white supremacy, racism, transmisogyny, and ableism.

This is Em Rabelais on white feminist violence in nursing

SOCIAL

Venmo: @fernian

Faith woke up one morning with a single thought weighing heavy on her mind: “I don’t even know who I am.” For years, she internalized the resounding sentiment of those around her that it was not okay to be herself - until one day, she came to a crossroads wherein she could no longer bear to live as anybody else.

Now the owner of Wish Me Luck, Chicago’s very first Black, trans, queer-owned tattoo shop, Faith demonstrates the healing power of community spaces, especially for people who have historically been erased or made to feel uncomfortable by the status quo.

Faith’s story shows us that there is nothing quite so powerful as chasing one’s truth, wherever that may lead - and that it is not the job of Black people, of queer people, or of trans people to make themselves more palatable for others.

This episode mentions conversion therapy, weaponization of religion against marginalized groups, mistreatment of trans prisoners, and suicidal ideation.

This is Faith on freedom, self-discovery, and Wish Me Luck Tattoo.

SOCIAL

Growing up in a conservative, evangelical home, Mya suspected that coming out as trans could mean parting ways with her parents. However, she firmly rejected the notion that it was her responsibility to adjust to the comfort of those around her. She felt, rather, that it was their responsibility to adjust and accept her for who she is.

Mya always says that her number one goal in life is to help people. And even at times when Mya has faced immense hardship, she has continued to lead with her empathy and compassion first.

This shines through in everything that she does - from serving on a council working to bridge the gap between religious folks and trans folks, to fostering community with other trans feminine people, to educating those around her about trans identities.

This episode mentions discrimination on the basis of religion, familial rejection, homelessness, racism, transphobia, and cissexism.

This is Mya Petsche on loving yourself and others.

SOCIAL

Like many trans people, Fiora spent her formative years consuming media where cisgender actors repeatedly played transgender characters, usually in a very unflattering light.

After her marriage ended, Fiora relocated to New York City and enrolled in an acting class. Suddenly and to her initial surprise, she found herself surrounded by queer and trans actors, in a city where directors not only respected but actively sought to cast trans people.

Though she fully acknowledges that TV and film still have a long way to go before reaching true gender equity, she envisions a bright future for herself and her industry. Her upcoming film Boarder centers Fiora as a feisty trans hit woman hoping to pull off one last job before her past catches up with her.

This episode mentions transphobic tropes and practices in media, family trauma, and divorce.

This is Fiora Wise on Being Pretty but Also Kind of a Bada**

SOCIAL

As a child, Jesse found respite from their religiously conservative community within the pages of manga. Hidden in those words and images were tales of unapologetic queer love that affirmed their identity, even when their family would not.

Jesse always knew that they felt attraction to people of different genders, and when they first heard the word “pansexual” as a teenager, something just clicked.

These days, Jesse channels their “queer angst” from high school into everything they do; be it by drawing canonically trans and gender non-conforming characters, writing their identities into music, or teaching their coworkers about queer and trans lives.

This episode mentions intersex surgeries, familial rejection, conflation of queer identity with pedophilia, and discrimination on the basis of religion.

This is Jesse Lee-Young on that Good Gay Manga.

SOCIAL

Cheers, queers, and welcome to the very first Special Edition episode of the Trans and Caffeinated podcast. Today, I have the unique honor of sharing with you the words and stories of six trans and gender non-conforming poets.

Spoken word poetry is one of my absolute favorite art forms. It is uniquely powerful in that it conveys meaning and emotion both through the text itself, as well as the intonation, inflection, punctuation, and feeling that that author provides in their reading.

These poets have spent years developing their craft, and I encourage you to tip each of today’s performers using the payment handles in the info section below.

PAYMENT INFO

Jeslyn Jacob Randall: @sapphirexsparks (Venmo)

Petal McNaughton: @Lillianmcn (Venmo), $Lillianmcn (CashApp)

Myles Taylor: @mylesemtaylor (Venmo), $MLEtaylor (CashApp)

Ness Doughty: @Ness-Doughty-1 (Venmo), $nesspie (Cashapp)

Joey Matt DiPeri: Paypal.me/JoJoMah, $J0w0ey (CashApp)

Yaz: @pjtadross091796 (Venmo)

SOCIAL:

When I recorded this episode in Summer 2020, I had no idea how little time we had left with my dearest friend Jeff. This episode is now and forever a tribute to the kind, loving, generous, incredible soul that was Jeffrey Scott Guillermo. May he rest in the sweetest, most beautiful peace. I love you forever, Jeff❤️️
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Jeff Guillermo was 13 years old when he first learned that gay people even exist. Growing up as the child of religious immigrants, LGBTQ+ people were rarely the topic of discussion - and when they were, it was most often within the context of queerness as a sin. When Jeff began to realize that he himself was queer, he feared that he would not be accepted by his community.

As his journey continued, Jeff began to understand that he was transgender - but when he came out, it seemed difficult for those around him to see him as the man that he is. Still, he pressed on, and decided to transition in spite of his fears.

Nine years later, Jeff says that transitioning has been a “breath of fresh air,” and he is happier now than he ever thought possible. Though the journey has at times been incredibly challenging, he has found support and community in the most unlikely of places.

This episode mentions anti-trans violence, transphobia, misgendering, and religious discrimination.

This is Jeff Guillermo on (almost) crying at the dinner table

LINKS

Daya always knew that coming out as trans might force her to reexamine and restructure several parts of her life. As a classically trained vocalist and a music minister in a Protestant church, the communities in which she was involved did not always create space for trans and gender non-conforming people to thrive.

When she began to transition, she realized that maintaining her connection with God would mean converting religions— and that maintaining employment would mean pivoting careers. Daya handled this rapid change with immense resilience and grace, and she is now using her experience to help other trans folx find fulfillment in their own lives.

This episode mentions passing, gender dysphoria, cissexism, transphobia, and homophobia.

This is Daya Deuskar, on feeling God again at an all trans Kabbalat Shabbat.

MORE ON DAYA

From the time they were young, Payton knew they were different from those around them. They didn’t have words to describe exactly how, and living in the politically conservative, hyper-religious, suburban town of Plano, TX, people weren’t exactly open to helping them explore.

When Payton was 15, they mustered up the courage to come out to their family as gay. After that, they were quickly admitted to conversion “therapy,” a manipulative and egregiously harmful abuse tactic to which many young LGBTQ+ kids are subjected as a method of scaring them into believing they are cisgender and straight. At the time of this recording, conversion therapy remains legal in 30 U.S. states, but the fight continues to outlaw this practice nationwide.

In the years since, Payton has committed to using their experiences to improve the lives of others, and has witnessed how their own life has improved in the process. At just 19 years old, Payton speaks with the wisdom and clarity of a much older queer.

This episode mentions sexual assault and conversion therapy.

This is Payton Sliepka, on turning their pain into power.

SOCIAL

Facebook: Payton Sliepka

When Ary first came out, he had to reckon with the realization that transitioning might mean losing the support of his parents. For quite some time, his parents held firm that they could not support his transition, and begged him to reconsider. Ary knew that for him, living his truth was a matter of life or death. He chose life, in spite of how his parents may react.

Ary has been out as trans for several years now, and has taken it upon himself to share about his journey with others. He works in the coffee industry, where he wears many hats, from barista to technician. As for his parents? Well, their journey might surprise you.

This episode discusses suicidal ideation, family rejection, misgendering, and surgery.

This is Ary on choosing happiness.

PATRON SHOUTOUTS

When Sophie Kozub was growing up, she often felt out of place - she was a legacy student in an all boys’ catholic school, a long-time Boy Scout, lined up with the boys when she knew she should be in line with other girls. Though she found subtle ways to transgress the confines of her prescribed roles in high school, it wasn’t until college that she truly allowed herself to break from masculinity.

As she rowed through the uncertain waters of her gender, she tried on a number of labels to find one that worked for her, increasingly thriving as she did. As she prepared to leave the queer utopia of college, Sophie was unexpectedly named her class’s valedictorian and was featured in a New York Times article on trans New Yorkers.

Sophie is kinder, wiser, and more insightful than many her age. She is powerfully candid with her story, and speaks of her experience with a level of insight that has and will continue to touch the lives of many.

This is Sophie Kozub, on why it’s okay to take your time.

For further exploration, check out:

Sophie's Twitter @ko_zub

This podcast is rooted in a singular dream -- to aid our culture’s growth by fostering collective education, encouraging open discussion, and most importantly nurturing and inspiring new generations of my transgender siblings.