Tyler's Shower Thoughts
By T Woods PhD
Tyler's Shower Thoughts Feb 01, 2023
Step In Your power
Today Tyler talks about stepping in your power. She believes when you step in your power you are trying to live each day to the fullest. Personal power is your inner strength, it a faith in yourself, a willingness to create your life. She talks about what holds us back from stepping in our power and what we can do to make sure we give ourselves permission to step in our power with peace.
Sadness, It's okay!
Join Tyler Woods as she talks about sadness. She believes that without the we will never get anywhere on our path. Sadness makes it possible for us to gain something that is much more precious than anything we could imagine and that is strength and courage. The question is, why do we run from it so much? Tyler believes that when we face any kind of difficulty that could cause sadness, we should try to embrace it with gratitude and allow the sadness to happen and flow through us. Life is based on processing things including sadness and that process, if it is done with the right understanding, gives you strength and makes you stronger and more resilient.
The Need to Be Validated
People have to be validated. Though being validated is important, in fact it is part of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there are those who seek validation at the risk of losing their jobs, their friends and eventually, their own self. Join Tyler Woods today as she talks about how people depending on and demanding validation from others disempowers us in living our own life. We can't seem to get past what is right in front of us until we get validated and feel heard. She offers sage advice on how to depend on self-validation.
The Desire to Be Liked
Join Tyler Woods as she talks about the desire to be liked. Truth is, not everyone is going to like you! If you live your life to be liked b everyone you meet, negative things that can happen. It sometimes means trying to fit in and that could create changing the way you act, believe, and see the world. If your goal is to make sure that people like you, the truth is you risk sacrificing your uniqueness therefor they are not liking you, rather they are liking the you that you present but it is not the authentic you. Listen and learn ways you can let go of that desire, and just be who you are.
Dealing with Conflict
Join Tyler Woods as she talks about how conflict can be a positive thing. It creates space to talk and work things out. Tyler believes that the most important elements in conflict resolution is tackle problems together if you can rather than attacking each other. Some people are only wired to attack and be angry and, on the defense, if that is the case, learn to walk away and let go. Join her today.
Recognize and Apologize
Join Tyler Woods today as she talks about apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego. She understands that it’s not easy to apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong, and she recognizes that it escalates the tension and does little to resolve the situation. She understands it is so very important to remember that apologizing is not an admission of guilt rather it is an admission of responsibility and honestly that takes courage and makes you walk much better with peace.
The holidays typically evoke images of family bliss, children eating and playing, family and friends smiling and unwrapping gifts, and something right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Join Tyler Woods as she talks about this is not the real picture of the holidays and how to deal with the guilt many people get from the holidays.
Choosing Love over Anger
There is a lot of angry people out there and some of these people really have no reason to be angry it’s just what they do, it’s a learned childhood behavior. Join Tyler as she talks about how anger is taught to people in childhood and makes some suggestions so people can choose love over anger.
Surviving the Holiday Part 1
Join Dr Tyler Woods as she talks about how to avoid the winter holidays anxiety trap. She talks about ways to get through the holidays and find joy through all the have to's that the winter holidays bring. She shares her own experiences how she removed herself from the demands of holidays and now enjoys them. There are simple things you can do to make sure you enjoy your holidays with little to no stress. No overspending, over taxing yourself, just allowing the holidays to be about what you want it to be, not what you think it HAS to be.
Why People Love to Hate
Join Tyler Woods today and she talks about why people hate. She talks about the bond hate can create. She talks about how people hate because they feel powerless. Rather than turning their anxiety and shame inward, they may project that negativity onto an external target. Hatred surfaces when people are highly insecure and fearful. There is a strong connection with hate and fear. People who hate tend to feel threatened so hate becomes a survival mechanism. Tyler talks about how compassion produces less of the stress hormones and when we are conscious, we begin to break apart the black and white narratives we construct.
When People Try to Anger You
There are people who enjoy the thrill of confrontation, and they will purposely instigate verbal altercations to try to anger you. Today Tyler Woods talks to you about how to deal with people who want to create conflict. She talks about breathe, stop and think before you react to people who try to anger or upset you. When you are calm, you destroy their plan to provoke you, make you upset and get you angry. You did not eat out of their hand rather you made you own gourmet meal. She shares how it’s much better to just not respond with anger and be calm.
What to Do If Someone Thinks You Hate Them
It is childish when someone accuses you of hating them but keep in mind it is not about you. Join Tyler Woods today as she talks about why people need to feel disliked and what you can do about it. She talks about the steps you can take to talk to them, and to take care of you!
Silence Is Important
Dr Woods believes that there is something out there that is so important that we forget to utilize it. In fact, she believes it can always be there if we desire. Sadly, there are so many times and occasions we do not get it or use it and for some, we know how to access it. She is talking about the power of silence. Join her today as she shares how vital silence can be and how to get it.
People are getting very easily offended these days and it is getting worse. We are living in a world where so many take offense to every little thing. Dr Woods talks about why people are offended so easily and how to not be so offended and how to walk in peace.
Grielief is Grief and Relief
Grieving is a rite of passage that we as the living need to experience. Grief is part of the sacred ritual of life and death. Grief is love with no place to go! So, the question is how can we feel relief? Dr. Woods tells us that it is natural to feel some relief when someone dies. It is okay to feel relief when the distress you felt because of having to watch your loved one struggle has come to an end. We are experiencing two strong emotions all at once. Grief is the complex emotional reaction to the loss of someone that was meaningful to you. Relief is a feeling of ease, reassurance, or release following the removal of anxiety, distress, or pain. We might not automatically associate relief with the loss of a loved one, however for some, it is natural and normal.
Emil Brunner once said, “What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.” Join Dr. Woods today as she talks about hope. Hope is an action that requires us to look at our own attitude on how we see things. To hope means you want an outcome that will improve your life. Hope makes the present difficulties bearable. She believes that hope can be hard work and is a commitment on your part to positively manage your thoughts so that they don’t get the best of you. Learn ways to gain more hope.
Patience seems to be many of our skills that never ended up in our lessons of life growing up. Join Dr. Woods as she talks about why people never learned patience and how they can begin to learn it no matter what age they are. She believes patience requires us to pause just for a few seconds and reflect before acting on it. It is that very brief pause we can take that helps us get our thoughts in order and our feelings under control. Learn more in today’s show.
Being In The Now
Join Dr Tyler Woods as she talks about either being in the tomorrow or in yesterday, in next week or even spending time in decades ago. She believes our thoughts take us everywhere except for the now. Today she talks about how that can affect us and how we can stay in more in touch with the now.
Join Tyler Woods Today as she answers the question, how do you know if your buttons are pushed and what can you do to not be so reactive when they do get pushed? Solutions are difficult to discover when our buttons get pushed so make sure you listen to some simple ways to resolve pushed buttons.
People may know what the word boundaries means, but do they know what they are and how to establish them? Join Tyler Woods as she talks about boundaries which are like a guideline that defines how we would like to be treated by people around us and setting healthy boundaries to help us build a good relationship with others and care for ourselves and those we love.
Dr. Woods talks today about emotional pain which can include feelings of hurt, anguish, or sorrow. It can come from many different sources. Between the devastating school shootings, price gouging, the war, grief and sorrow, and past unhealed wounds, emotional pain is on the rise. No matter what the cause, this psychological pain can be intense and significantly affect many different areas of your life.
Resilience is what allows some people to be knocked down and come back stronger than before. It makes us feel just okay when everything is happening at once and gives us some sort of mental balance when life is unbalanced. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed. Join Dr. Woods as she talks about resilience not about powering through the storms in life. I think it is more like a toolbox of techniques and behaviors that support us through times of adversity. To be resilient is to come out of life’s trials intact and yep, we might come out a little bruised and bloody but we can come out stronger.
Finding worth in oneself is probably the biggest challenge all of us face. We forget who we are. What if instead of focusing on where we think we should be or worrying about where others think we should be, we focus on celebrating our own progress? Join Dr. Tyler Woods while she explains ways to acknowledge your own self. Remember self-acknowledgment is a muscle. The more you use it, the better you get at it.
The Meaning of Life
Join Dr. Tyler Woods today as she talks about the meaning of life. What if the meaning of life was simply about relationships? Our relationship with ourselves, our planet, our enemies, our friends, our family, our beliefs, and what we think? What if we are here to have a relationship with life and to learn virtues like humility, detachment or letting go, integrity, honor, courage, truth, justice, self-control, and the ability to accept.
Walk In Peace
Dr. Woods always ends her show with walk in peace, but what does walk in peace mean? Today she talks about walking in peace as a conscious balanced state of mind. That means awake and present. To be able to feel a sense of calmness and stability in all that you do. You feel balanced and in the moment. If you stop yourself from walking in anger, fear, and resentment, you will discover that you are simply walking in the present and that will direct you to walk in peace.
Everybody has an opinion. In fact, people have loads of opinions and they certainly give them to you. Did you know that your self-esteem is tied to what other people think? It's true! First know that self-esteem is the opinion we have of our own selves. Join Dr. Woods today as she talks about the importance of opinions and the dangers and positive solutions.
When we make assumptions, we believe they are the truth! We invent a whole story that’s the only truth for us and we believe it and get others to believe it. Then like clockwork, one assumption leads to another assumption and we spend our lives jumping to conclusions. Join Dr. Woods as she talks about the consequences of assumptions and solutions to help end the cycle of making assumptions.
Fear and Courage
Fear is a reaction and courage is a decision. When we feel fear, we can choose to act in courage, even with that fear being right in your face. Join Dr. Woods as she talked about the fine balance between fear and courage. Since we all know that fear is an excellent opportunity to become courageous, why not learn ways to embrace our fears and walk in courage.
We Are All Going to Die, so Accept It
Death is the destination we all share; no one has ever escaped it and recognizing your mortality can help you take stock of your life and open your eyes to the opportunities in front of you. Dr. Woods talk about how our deaths are simply one of the things that nature demands. We must continue to examine the meaning of death because death is central to the meaning of life. Woods asks you this; Do you ever think death could provide us with a very strong motivation to make sense of the time we do have here?
Forgiveness Comes in Layers
We all think forgiveness is one-dimensional. Like you’re supposed to forgive and then just move on? You know the famous line “forgive and forget.” This is not true! Forgiveness is an interesting thing as it doesn't happen all at once. It comes in layers, like an onion. Join Dr. Woods as she explores forgiveness and how it requires patience, practice and self-control. You must release a hurt and resentments and allow forgiveness to heal.
Gratitude is simply taking time to think about all the positive things in your life. Rather than ruminating on the negatives. Gratitude is powerful and it blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, greed, demanding and wanting. These emotions can destroy our happiness. Gratitude is a selfless act. When you apply gratitude to your life, you may find that you become aware of far more qualities of yourself, others, and the world. Join Dr. Woods s she makes some suggestions about how to cultivate gratitude.
There is an old saying life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Stepping outside one's comfort zone is an important, and almost universal, factor in personal growth. How can we expect to evolve in our lives and careers if we only stick to habit and routine? When we challenge ourselves, we tend to rise to the occasion. Taking risks is what helps us grow so join Dr. Woods today as she talks about comfort Zones.
Responsibility is less about what you do and far more about who you are. Having responsibility is looking at yourself and accepting the choices you have made and the actions you have taken and hopefully, if you have emotional competency, your words and behaviors lead to taking responsibility. Join Dr. Woods as she talks about taking responsibility.
Anger can have positive qualities and we all have anger and we all have the right to express it as long s it does not cause harm. This show was recorded in 2020 however the message is strong, so welcome to my shower thoughts on positive anger.