Wendy Says Things

In this episode of Wendy Says Things, I talk about how we may not get to win, but that's okay, it's not a battle or at least it doesn't have to be.

In this episode, I talk a little bit about how security and having needs met according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the development and healing of the chakra centers leads to changing focus of creative expression from internal to external. 

Talking about how Joy is Rebellious in the context of Trauma Recovery.

Discussion of Self regulation, falling apart when safe and happy, and developing skills to work through issues.

A blurp about what's going on with me, and why I've been missing getting podcasts out in a timely fashion.

(It's money)

Non-religious discussion of what is divine, what can it mean to be spiritual, how can we connect more deeply to ourselves, to others, and to the spirit or the divine.

Brief update

Next episode out next week

In this episode of Wendy Says Things, I talk about energy work and the use of gender terms regarding concepts and energetic structures, about how functionally there is no gender of spirit, about how wounds to the spirit can occur because of non-conforming gender roles (Which are ridiculous, outdated, and historically false) or other self-identification or minority status by people or systems, and how intergenerational spirit work is informed by thousands of both male and female influences, and how the first three chakras (especially 3rd) are informed or expressed or impacted by gender or the balance of male/female energy within the whole of the energy system.

Questions and comments can be left for me across social media. Most of my private messages on social media are filtered, so if you send me a private message, please drop me a public comment to let me know to look for it. If you want a response, don't be rude.

Thank you for listening.

Today on Wendy Says Things, I talk about the different ways having a traumatic background can effect a survivor when things begin to go well - good job, active and robust support network, healthy intimate relationships. As someone who used to gain a lot of courage from the idea that "All was lost," and there was no reason not to do the things that I wanted to do, feeling that there are now very important things to lose - relationships, possessions, status or whatever, I have had to navigate differently to preserve being an honest, authentic person with caring for and cultivating a networked and connected life. 

So, there can be threats from within like a tendency to self-sabotage, and threats from without like past actions catching up or being called out which can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety when they occur, but there are definite steps that can be taken to manage internal reactions and build skills around these obstacles. If happiness is foreign terrain, I have a map, and I'm sharing it here.

I'm all out of words, so here's some soothing guitar music.

Making changes by setting goals, managing steps, removing barriers, and succeeding are what I am covering in today's episode. I walk through some tips and tricks to keep on track, but also touch on our language and perceptions of ourselves which can adapt as well to help reinforce who we are becoming with intentional living. 

It's okay to outgrow who you were, and updating how you present yourself as you change can be helpful in letting people know who you are. There will always be those who might try to use your past against you, and not much you can do about that, but try not to be one of those people. You need you in your corner.

In this episode I take a look at how self-loathing is often a symptom of the care and love we have for the people around them combined with feelings of shame or guilt over something we may have said or done that has caused them harm. I set forth some steps to take to shift out of the state of hate and move into forgiveness, repair, and growth. 

Then I look at how hate and anger for others is often the inverse of love and care that we have towards ourselves, and talk through some steps that can be taken to care for ourselves, draw boundaries, and take effective, timely, meaningful action.

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Wendy Says Things.

1. Formal apology in the current trend of apologies

2. Shameless request for money

3. Gratitude

In today's episode, I talk about trusting yourself, trusting other people to be themselves, building trust with people, and building a network of support based on healthy boundaries, intelligent trusting, and individuals who support you within their unique capabilities.

In this episode of Wendy Says Things, I talk about trauma recovery and how to get beyond Why in order to focus on How and What - how to move forward, what to do next.

A little more about me:

'I have all the ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences. The worse they are, the more I had them to the point that neglect was wonderful. To be invisible, unheeded, uncared for meant no one was actively hurting me. I have spent years healing that trauma. I’ve read books, gone to therapy, participated in workshops, journaled through some of the worst experiences that people can survive.

The human body is amazing how sturdy it is, how it can withstand so much pain and damage and continue to limp along. The human body is fragile as well, so that is the first paradox of life and survival.

I have worked as a Spiritual Counselor and hold on online ordination through the Universal Life Church to legally protect the confidentiality of my clients. I am an energy worker, and have worked with people who have experienced tremendous trauma to renew their sacred connection to their spirit, to the divine, to others.

I create art, poetry, music to heal and lift my spirit. I share it all, even the struggles, in hopes that it inspires other people to create, and to bring joy and happiness or laughter to people, and to commiserate. Life is challenging, but at least we have each other.

This is how I create meaning in my life.

This is how I love.

This is how I continue to grow and heal.'

Wendy Kheiry

In this episode, I talk about uncertainty and the tendency, especially in people recovering from trauma, to precipitate a crisis in order to end confusion to get relief from feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes this prematurely ends a dynamic opportunity to learn skills, deepen relationships, and is not in the best interest of the person precipitating the crisis. In order to avoid regret, sometimes stepping back for perspective can be helpful. I talk about some strategies to break the cycle and work through the unknown with intention and curiosity.

Thank you for listening.

I think we can do better. 

In this episode I talk about philosophy, meander on about a 6th grade science experiment, and wonder how we can try to balance staying informed with beauty and hope.

Thank you for listening!

In this episode, I talk about how I process reactions to personal and world events through the phases of despair and anger, so that I can take meaningful action.

Thank you for listening.

Once you get past the warm-up vocals, I talk about productivity, overwork, Covid, Long Covid, and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). 

In this episode, I talk about the value of allowing yourself to give up when you feel overwhelmed, unsure, and like you can't go any further right now. By using the down time of stepping back and allowing yourself to not continue on the path, or not taking the same steps, or not coming from the same space you have been, you allow yourself to listen to your creative spirit, your subconscious, and engage in a creative dialogue with yourself, your project, and the world.

Thanks for listening!

What if you said more "Hell yeah" to your life and less "meh"?

In this episode, I talk about the trauma of actions or inactions taken or not taken in ways that don't line up with our value systems, and how to begin to address it in a way that opens the door for healing and positive upward trending.

In this episode I talk a little more about making decisions based on a hierarchy of values, expanding to make more room for difficult emotions and situations, reducing tricky situations to the essentials, and goal setting to actualize your goals.

Thank you for listening!

Navigating when there's no good choice, only least garbage-y choices. In this episode, I say things about how to handle situations where there's not good choices, ways to approach it, and how to use it to leverage yourself into a better choice situation. I talk about some of the careers/childhood dreams I had, what I didn't say outright, is that those dreams were only fulfilled because I made the least garbage-y decision out of some just absolute trash choices.

Here's to choice making! May your options improve.

Thank you for listening to Wendy Says Things

Building on last week's episode, I explore tactics and strategies for creating intentional change internal or external.

Thanks for listening!

Life has given me a lot of transitions where I had a setback, change of direction, or an odd turn of events with unique challenges, so I've learned a few things about how to adapt, address, and adjust my trajectory to deal with the situation while not losing sight of the next goal. I talk a bit about this in this episode of Wendy Says Things.

Thanks for listening!

Brief Update from Wendy Says Things

Turn down the heat. Today's episode is exploring the ingredients to hearted arguments, and approaching issues within relationships - friends, family or otherwise, with compassion for everyone involved.

Thank you for listening!

Like a garden, we can cultivate joy in our lives.

My friends have been asking me about Dating Season - what it is, why I hold to it, and what the benefits are.

I'm a person with issues. Even my issues have issues, so dating is particularly tricky for me. The intimacy, trusting, being open, and if it ends, the letting go, these are all challenging for me. So, I don't date for a certain period of time during the year, and focus on other things instead.

Thank you for listening!

You've taken the step to set a boundary with a person or situation where there had not been one, and you feel terrific! And then...boundary regrets set in and these are a challenging mix of emotions and internal (sometimes external responses) which threaten to undermine the difficult work of setting boundaries. I talk about some of the dynamics in this new episode of Wendy Says Things.

I had some thoughts on Savoring the Day. In my family when my kids were growing up, I used to set some treat aside for later. My kids would often ask me if I was going to eat that, and I would respond, "I'm savoring that for later."

This was my way of having something to look forward to and maximizing the enjoyment of the anticipation prior to the eventual event. 

I've come to some ideas about working this anticipation and the idea of savoring into the great scheme of my life, and here are some of my thoughts on that.

Thank you for listening to Wendy Says Things.

If you've ever felt like apologizing for existing, this podcast may be right for you.

I talk a little about feeling like I don't have a right to take up space, learning to be grateful, and how I experiment with ways of moving through the world.

Thank you for listening!

Happy New Year!

Here's a short update on what I've been doing, and a small bit of what I've been thinking regarding Compound Privilege.

I had some thoughts this week about transitioning from regular 40 hour a week job, to part-time work with gigs supplementing, and the strangeness of having my Art-Studio-in-a-Box, and living in a tiny house. 

Creative solutions found within limitations

My move is just beginning to wind down. I had some thoughts today about trauma, perfectionism, self-sabotage and the creative process.

Thank you for listening!

Hi everyone,

Just popping in here to give you a brief update. I had a medical scare, I've moved, and I'm not dying just yet. 

How do we live a meaningful life? Why do we talk about life and death like winning and losing rather than as a natural, gestalt whole?

How do we end up with so much stuff?

An upcoming episode will have Maren and Tonya both on to discuss compound privilege with me. 

Please Subscribe to the podcast! Like and share your favorite episode (s), and feel free to tag me in your shares.

Thank you for listening!

Maren contacted me after listening to Episode 3 part 1 and asked if she could clarify something she felt came across unclearly, so we got together on Zoom this morning to record this for you, dear listeners. The second part of Episode 3 is still in the works, as I am in the process of some major life adjustments. I will try to get it out for you soon.