The Zainab Kanu Show

On today's episode we are going to be talking about why you should not compare your 24 hours to someone else is.  A mother of 2 abandoned her 3 and 4 year old kids after she got high off of fentanyl increasing the chances of her kids possible being abused or ending up on the wrong side of life or with the wrong person.  Crazy to think that a neighbor found the mother unconscious, did not call the cops or the ambulance to save the mother. However, she took the kids with her, had them for a total of 17 hours until someone recognizes that the two kids with the neighbor at the playground are missing kids.  Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show: FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com

On this weeks episode, we are going to be talking about the importance of appropriate parental affection.  Why children need to be hugged and kisses to elevate their self-esteem and decrease anxiety. What are your thoughts? Do children need hugs and kisses?  Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show:  FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow  PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu  BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i  BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com

Hello there!  Welcome to season III, its been a longtime coming. Thank you for your dedication to your healing. Thank you for your support. I hope that season III is everything you need to either continue on your healing Journey or initiate your healing journey.  On this season, we are going to dive into celebrities and some high profile mommy issues cases for educational purposes only. Example of celebrity: Oprah, Kenya Moore, Candice Bassett, Moniece Slaughter, Tonto, Atasha Johnson AKA Tommie, Darrell Hammond, and Mario to name a few. Please stay tune and grant me patience. I promise you, you are going to enjoy and it is going to propel you further into your healing Journey.  If you choose to, your are welcome to follow me on all social media platform. Below are the links.  Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show:  FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow  PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu  BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2  PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com

A story you may not want to hear but need to hear. Let's talk about it!  The golden child's perspective, her views on the mother you both share.  Listen to Martina tell her side of the story and how she was Abel to bond and connect with the mother you both share. Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show: FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com

Let's talk about it!  What is sexual pleasure? What is masterbation? Is it okay? Should you be doing it? Is it good or bad? How do you have pleasure after trauma? Any kind of trauma? What about female circumcision?  What is orgasm? Have you ever experienced it?  Lets talk about it with Katrina Marie  @myorgasmiclife If you are like me, you know sexual pleasure is a needed pleasure and not to be dismissed as long as you are having it in a healthy way with the right partner or by yourself.  Lets talk about it.  @the_zainabkanushow #taboo #sexualpleasure #pleasure #sexualpower #liberation #letstalkaboutit  Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show: FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com

Let's talk about it!  Have you been the disposable friend? The friend that is discarded, cancelled, or called when the other party is bored? Have you been the friend that is not checked on, always reaching out, wanting to connect with a deadline on the other end?  Let's talk about being the easily disposed friend, the friend that only provides a temporary benefit to the other party. On this episode, I am going to show you how you can get out of the disposable friend zone, be the friend that you deserve to yourself first, and make an opening for the right friend to come.  Listen very carefully on the steps that you can take, to prevent or remove yourself from the disposable friend zone. @thezainabkanushow

Let's talk about always having doubts and uncertainty that has been pasted on from generation to generation. Doubts that are not even our own.  Limiting beliefs from family members filled with fear and despair unable to make a single move.  well guess what, on this episode, we are going to talk about leveling up mentally, going from I can't to "oh yes I can"  We are going to go from broken to blissful and from pain to purpose.  lets do the work, make that mental shift with Sambra Marrodan  @thezainabkanushow @heralignedlife

2020....The year of drastic changes, opportunities, and successes.  Let's talk about it. What could you have done differently, and what did you learn from it.  #2020 #2021 #newyear #newyou #challenges  A year to be grateful for, with lots of unwanted and devastating lessons. Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show: FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com https://www.amazon.com/Soar-Build-Your-Vision-Ground/dp/1455553913/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=soar&qid=1611186770&sr=8-1 https://www.amazon.com/People-Who-Argue-Sick-Argumentative-ebook/dp/B00BLUTRIO/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sick+people+argue&qid=1611186801&sr=8-1

For more content like this, subscribe to my YouTube channel ***new content every Thursday***    #unchained #triggered #triggerprotectionmantra    Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show:  FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow  PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu  BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i  BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com  For  1:1 support/coaching email: Thezainabkanushow@gmail.com     Let's talk about your past trauma..... How it can physically cripple you  Mentally paralyze you  In this video, we talk about ways on how to unchain yourself from your childhood/past trauma to help you embrace your blissful life  Steps on how to unchain yourself

There is so much power in becoming the hero that you deserve.  For more content like this, subscribe to my YouTube channel ***new content every Thursday***  Stay in the loop with The Zainab Kanu Show: FACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/empoweringmotherlessdaughters INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/the_zainabkanushow PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/thezainabkanu BLOG: https://zainabkanu.com/blog-2 PODCAST: https://bit.ly/2HC9K3i BUSINESS EMAIL: thezainabkanushow@gmail.com For  1:1 support/coaching email: Thezainabkanushow@gmail.com Don't be like me, be better. Instead of wasting your time and waiting for someone to save you, save yourself.  Don't give your power away by waiting for someone to save you.  Instead choose you.  #becomeunstoppable #beunstoppable #hero Timeline 1:26 Issues that lead to be looking for a supper hero 2:40 - The type of superhero I was looking for 5:39 - The power in becoming the super hero you deserve 07:45 - what is a super hero 9:53 - What happened when I gave my power away 14:20 - How to take back your power 14:55 - why you should become the hero you deserve 19:06 - Steps on becoming the hero you deserve

For more amazing content follow me on  IG @thezainabkanushow  Facebook: TheZainabk.show  website: www.zainabkanu.com   This weeks guest is Faith Akana, the beauty is dimples and a beautiful smile. Faith will be discussing how she had to change her mind to overcome the rape that she endure back in 2011.    You can find Faith on IG @ FaithAkano @thehealedwomanfoundation @Femdigitalng @churchgirlclothing   Timeline:  5:45 - when the raped happened  8:20 what is rape, what is taken, and what it affects?  09:10 what Faith experienced   10:30 what did the costed Faith?  11:25 how Faith morned her experience   12:15 Mistakes her parents made in Faith's healing journey  14:40 Faith getting her voice back  16:30 Pastor re-truamatized Faith again   20:00 Faith's encounter with God  22:30 Faith's Isolation period to start the healing process  24:00 Faith starting using the word "NO"  24:45 Faith's forgiving journey  26:35 Faith using her voice to heal  30:30 How to hear God  32:15 Detaching from toxic people  33:15 What is healing  34:00 The meaning of Faith's dream  42:00 Victim shaming and blaming by the police  44:57 How to have closure  47:15 Faith's organization   55:10 Healing is possible  58:00 Faith's advice

This week our guest is the amazing Taryana Rocha. For more amazing content follow me on IG @thezainabkanushow Facebook: TheZainabk.show website: www.zainabkanu.com You can find her on IG @Taryanarocha  Youtube channel is Taryana Rocha  Where to begin when it comes to the process of choosing you. How do you even know or make the determination that you need to choose you?  A very painful process at first, when you come to the realization that you where never loved, nurtured, or even chosen by the one person that is supposed to love you the most.  Well, look no further, Taryana is going to give you step by step instructions on how to do that.  Timeline: 1:00 Who is Tary and what does she do? 2:55 reparenting yourself 7:43 what does loving yourself mean 26:00 secure attachment 28:00 self-gaslighting 32:20 attachment trauma 36:45 the golden child  37:02 feeling shame 38:50 the 2 types of Narc 42:50 How to choose you 63:00 How to go no contact 68: 00 how to know which voice is yours 73: different types of flying monkeys

When we look at social media, everyone and everything looks perfect. However, a lot of times, the person that we maybe looking at is not actually living the life portrayed. Looks can be very deceiving.    At first, I thought Theawna Brown, had the perfect life with her mother, and comes from the perfect family.    Until we had this interview session, I had no idea she had to choose herself, in order to change the trajectory of her life as well as her daughters life. In choosing herself, Theawna was able to start the healing process, that later transferred not only to her mother but to her daughter as well.   Healing is an energy! Once you begin the work, the energy can radiate beyond your wildest capacity and generational curses will be broken.   Let the healing begin.    Theawna has a bachelors of science in nursing, currently studying to be a nurse practitioner, a full time mother, full-time nurse, and a full-time life learner with a passion of healing through reiki.   Listen to Theawna heart felt poem as she describes what it was like growing up with her mother.    IG: healingwiththea

How can you show kindness and compassion to others if you don't know how to give that to yourself. It all starts with you. What you give yourself, is what you reflect or radiate to others. so if hatred is what you give yourself on a day to day basis, then that is what you will display to the world. Show yourself some mercy by starting with empathy.

How can you show kindness and compassion to others if you don't know how to give that to yourself. It all starts with you. What you give yourself, is what you reflect or radiate to others. so if hatred is what you give yourself on a day to day basis, then that is what you will display to the world. Show yourself some mercy by starting with empathy.

When it comes to healing from within, you have to go within and replaced the old negative thoughts that is running within. you can't take from within and not replaced, and this is where filling your cup comes in.  Healing from within requires for you to be an active participant, know what you deserve, and go get it to replace the pain with love, joy, peace, positivities, and happiness. Secure a healthy life, by filling your cup!!!!

When it comes to healing from within, you have to go within and replaced the old negative thoughts that is running within. you can't take from within and not replaced, and this is where filling your cup comes in.  Healing from within requires for you to be an active participant, know what you deserve, and go get it to replace the pain with love, joy, peace, positivities, and happiness.  Secure a healthy life, by filling your cup!!!!

Forgiveness takes time and it has to come from within. If you do not go though the grieving process, the chances of you forgiving yourself are very slim. In this video, I'll walk you through how to forgive yourself the right way. Remember, do not allow anyone to force you into forgiveness.

Forgiveness takes time and it has to come from within. If you do not go though the grieving process, the chances of you forgiving yourself are very slim. The same goes for the person you need to forgive. In this video, I'll walk you through how to forgive yourself the right way, and forgive others to thrive in your healing journey. Remember, do not allow anyone to force you into forgiveness.

Often times, society minimizes or dismisses traumatic experiences as just another minute experience to get over. What some in society fail to realize is the impact adverse childhood experiences has on an individual. You may think, well, its no big deal, just adjust and get over it, or how about you don't thing of it at all. I wish it was that easy. Adverse Childhood Experiences can leave a person so broken to the point of physically crippling that individual. When not physically cripple, indecision overwhelms the mind of a person that has experienced a childhood trauma. So if you are someone that has experienced childhood trauma, please take the quiz to find out your score and what it means.  https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean After finding out your Trauma score and understanding what it means, I want you to take the resilient quiz to empower yourself.  https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/resilience-quiz.htm Goodluck! 

You can't be you?  Who told you that?  When the world seems like a lonely place, a scary place, the only way to survive and thrive is by being you.  Often times, we are forced to be someone else only to make the other person more comfortable.  This can leaving one feel a sense of false self, fake, and a lack of presence. It is okay to be you.  NO one has to be perfect.  Allow Lillian Victoria to tell you her story on how to be you, unapologetically and be comfortable with it. 

I have struggled with being myself. Many times I have to dime my light to make others feel comfortable and accepted. This is a guide to help you filter out the publics voice, hear your own, and be you. 

Alyson Leinbach a Reiki healer is here to help you rewrite your story and get back your trauma. She will empower you to let go of all your baggings, and pick up your future.  Alyson will give you step by step guide to change your life. 

In this episode, we are talking about the signs and symptoms of anxiety, the defeating affect it can have if not managed, and 9 ways on how to manage it.  One of the ways is using energy healing called EFT. Below is the link for you to practice. 

What is Emotional Rock Bottom?  When you are left feeling hopelessness. You are at the bottom and can’t sink any lower than were you are emotionally. A state of absolute misery and wretchedness. Your extreme lowest. You feel lost, confused, and life is momentarily in shambles.  As i was researching, i found out that you have to hit rock bottom before you can be able to make a change. Do you agree?  Urban dictionary defines rock bottom as: “when you feel you have had it up to the roof top because you are mad enough to scream but you are also sad enough to tear up.  Lesson from hitting an Emotional Rock Bottom. I realized how powerful I am and that I am in control of my life. I get to decide who to invite into my world.  I have made a decision to never accept mediocrity from myself and others.  I am no longer going to medicate on the negative experiences and hold on to it like its treasure when I have the power to just let it go and choose something else.  I got an opportunity to examine all my bad behaviors and how I lacked the tools to be better at the time. I started questioning everything.  I realized I was not were I thought I was Gain humility and compassion for myself and others Let go of everything because nothing is working anymore I am filled with gratitude  My Emotional Maintenance Plan Daily prayer Daily medication I periodically do an emotional check in I am aware of the foods I eat Journal sometimes/ daily reflection Note card 

Most motherless daughters are afraid of becoming a mother for several reasons:  Nobody taught them how to be a mom or do mommy things.  You wont have anyone to call for good or bad things.  You fear becoming your mother.  You fear damaging your kids.  You have very little good experiences from your childhood to discuss and relate with your child.  You fear that your child is missing out on a grandmother.  If this is you, this is what I want you to think about:   Don’t dismiss or interfere with your maternal instinct.   You will be more sensitive than your mother.   You can learn what you didn’t get from your mother.

Have you being labeled too sensitive, stupid, unlovable, stubborn, and lazy? Are you familiar with the term triangulation bu Murray Bowen? It means when mothers pitting children against each other. Is your brother or sister an advocate for your toxic mother? Remember, a narc needs her kids to not get along. She has orchestrated the relationship so someone is always on her side. First of, let me tell you that all children try to find a way to normalize their parents behaviors. I didn’t know that my mom toxic treatment was bad until i went to therapy. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. The same for my father. So it is normal for children to try and normalize/justify. Is that okay. Not really. Now some of us get out of it and some of our siblings don't. Especially the sibling that has been labeled the golden child. They may never get out of it. 

FLYING MONKEY: A narc tools for the smear campaign. A flying monkey is someone who does the narcissist’s bidding to inflict additional torment to the narcissist’s victim. Such behaviors include but are not limited to: spreading gossip, threatening, painting the narc as a victim, and the target as a perpetrator. Some of the flying monkeys are family members, friends, etc SO this is why mothers separate the kids! She does not want them to form an alliance against her. She does not want them to develop strength. She had to separate them. Using kids against other kids.  THE GOLDEN CHILD (is favored or held in high esteem by others) VS SCAPE GOAT (a person who is blamed for the wrong things) in the bible, a scapegoat is an animal that is ritually burden with the sins of others and then driven away) Did you know the flying monkey term came from the wizard of oz. when the witch will send the monkeys to do her evil work. Who knew. A flying monkey is preselected, they same way you were selected as a victim.  Narc are experts in reading people and they know who will make an easy target and a puppet.  Some flying monkeys are narcs that are lesser narc, or sometimes people who are just too gullible, easily influenced, low self-esteem.  Be aware of a flying monkey They can ruin you twice as fast Protect yourself. Put yourself on guard! Cut them off! They are everywhere and very dangerous! Flying monkeys are everywhere You will have them at work, church, in a group of friends, social gathering etc. an example will be, you are working someone, you criticize how someone works, instead them taking ownership, they start to talk about you to other co-workers making you feel bad, because the co-workers then become flying monkeys and passively or indirectly start to do their bidding for them. When you stand up: Be prepared to hear all sorts of statements of defense and denial. Keep in mind that the narc does not allow input. They have made up their mind and they have their own sense of reality Make sure you are willing to pay the price. It could be very high. Possible rejection, disbar,  Make sure you are willing to be consistently assertive. Not in a rude way. Not in a rude way, nasty way, or aggressively angry. Its being loyal to your values with respect and firmness.  Make sure you have a high commitment to your own authenticity. Meaning know who you are, and where you are trying to go. Commit to being authentic internally and externally. This will lead you to your freedom. You get to be you and think for yourself.  

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!!!!  WHAT IS MOTHER’S DAY?  MOTHER’S DAY IS TO HONOR GOOD MOMMIES. A MOMMY IS THE PERSON THAT RASIED YOU WITH LOVE, HONOR, NUTURING, CREATED A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU TO RUN TO, AND MENTORSHIP. A MOTHER IS THE PEROSN THAT GAVE BRITH TO YOU. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. A LOT OF WOMEN GIVE BIRTH, BUT VERY FEW ARE MOMMIES.  WHAT IS A TRIGGER?  A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. Triggers are very personal; different things trigger different people. Psych central.com  HOW CAN YOU PREVENT TRIGGERS?  Protect yourself by not engaging in an activity that you know might trigger you.  HOW CAN YOU MANAGE TRIGGERS?  Recognize your feelings, choose what you want to feel, and what you want to do. Practice self-care.

Going FB group page EMPOWERING MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS.  ****FOLLOW ME: @EMPOWERING MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS**** RATE, LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE, AND SUBSCRIBE.  Why you Should practice boundaries, and how a lack of boundary can lead to an abusive or toxic relationship.  Jane Collingwood says "setting clear boundaries is the key to ensuring relationships are mutually respectful, supportive, and caring. boundaries are a measure of self-esteem, and they set the limit for acceptable behavior from those around you.  Having no boundaries causes: people to take advantage of you you are in a vulnerable position at all times you are taken for granted by others Benefits of having boundaries:  DEVELOP SELF-RESPECT YOU ARE TREATED WELL BY OTHERS IT  PROTECTS YOU FROM BEING EXPLOITED BY OTHERS  PREVENTS YOU FROM HOLDING ON TO RELATIONSHIP THAT DON’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART.  THINGS TO DO TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES: SAY NO TO UNREASONABLE REQUESTS AND REASONABLE ONES FORM TIME TO TIME IF THEY CONFLICT WITH YOUR PLANS.  CHALLENGE ALL INSULTS THAT ARE MARKED AS HUMOR  DON’T MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE  LOOK AT WHY ARE YOU POPULAR WITH YOUR FRIENDS  HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR NEW BOUNDARY: WRITE DOWN YOUR BOUNDARIES BE CONSISTENT  KEEP  THEM SIMPLE.SUCH AS YOUR BODY, YOUR SENSE OF PERSONAL SELF, YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.  STAY CALM  BE REASONABLE FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL REACTIONS RATHER THAN BLAMING OTHERS. IF YOU NEED TO COMPROMISE, BE FLEXIBLE, BUT TAKE IT SLOWLY, AND DON’T AGREE TO ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT.  Go to breakthecycle.org/warning-signs to take the quiz for warning-signs. If you feel that you are in a toxic relationship or you noticed some signs but you are not sure, I want you to text, loveis to 22522 or call RAINN at 1800-656-4673 Take the healthy relationship quiz

What is self-care? Practicing self care will remind you and others around you that you matter. It’s like sending a message to the world with out speaking. How you treat you, is how others are going to treat you too. When you prioritize your self care, you are prioritizing your mental health. A lack of self care means that you are not mentally well.   When you prioritize your self care, you are prioritizing your mental health Examples of Self-care? Managing your time. When yo don’t know what to do with your time, other people will gobble up your time for you. Meaning, when you don’t manage your time well, other people will manage your time for you.  Sleep Prioritizing your meals Making time for friends Listening to your body Shaving /hygiene  Nourishing your skin Pampering yourself Removing yourself from bad situations  Benefits of Self-care: Improves your physical, emotional, and mental health It makes you a better person in life and someone to be around A healthy work life balance  Stress management Start living and stop existing CTA: Take a break when you need to  Listen to your body Meditate Light jogging Choose who you spend time with  Eat green daily Avoid emotional eating  Learn to say no Stop over thinking  Laugh daily Give yourself a little upgrade  Stop letting the little things get to you

Information is from Bustle and Better-help.  Growing up with a toxic or emotionally absent mother affected how I loved and the type of friend I was to others.  Some of the things motherless daughters experience in a friendship are: lack of boundaries people pleasing lack of validation feeling like you are not good enough guilt for wanting more co-dependency withholding affection passive aggressive behaviors hypersensitivity high tolerance for poor treatment from others emotional care taking feeling competitive with other women self-sabotage being overly rigid and dominating Tips for being a good friend: be real be honest take an interest in the details of your friends life by being a good listener make time for your friend keep their secrets encourage your friend be loyal be willing to work through conflict look out for them. 

A NO CONTACT IS FOR YOU! IT IS ALL ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING. It is to remove the abuser or toxic person from your life. Shahida Arabi said it best, “a no contact is the key that locks out that person from ever entering our hearts, mind, and spirit in any palpable way again” This means you are not in contact via phone, emails, texts, and all social media platform. What to do before establishing a No contact: self development, therapeutic resolution, and low contact. How do you maintain a “No contact: is by blocking the toxic person or parent, engaging in a pleasurable and self-developing activities, and reading books about “no Contact” to gain knowledge. Www.willieverbegoodenough.com. Mental health administrative 1800-662-4357. Crisis hot line 1800-273-8255. Www.reddit.com

The amazing Stacy Wright will be discuss the importance of therapy, why should you go see a therapist, what credential should you look for in a therapist, what techniques does the therapist use, and signs of a bad therapist?   Credentials to look for:  Licensed professional counselor  masters degree in counseling or psychology    Social worker or a licensed social worker  Verify a therapist credentials on the department of consumer affairs website for your state Or read about the therapist on their website or online directory  Techniques of approaches of a therapist: Cognitive-based therapy  Mindfulness-based  Stress reduction  Acceptance therapy  Commitment Therapy  When you decide on a therapist:   Email the therapist with some questions or ask for a 15 minutes phone call for screening if the therapist is right for you. you should be sharing a bit about your situation and asking how they can help you. This is to let them know what your goal is for therapy.  Think about how you feel during the interaction with your therapist.   A good therapist demonstrates good boundaries and keeps the relationship professional at all times.  Signs of a bad therapist: The therapist is talking more than you The therapist is interrupting you often Any inappropriate behaviors such as sexual gesture the therapist has violated your confidentiality 

A friendship is a state of mutual trust and support between two people: sigs of a toxic friend: lack of loyalty, lack of support, unwillingness to be happy for you, they are disrespectful, competitive, they lie, they give unsolicited advice, they are negative, they want you to compromise on your values, they ghost you, and they give you backhanded compliments.

An emotionally absent mother is not fully present to the emotional.life of the child. This could be due to depression, exhaustion, or numbness. Many of these mothers were severely under mothered themselves and have no idea what a close parent-child relationship looks like. Emotionally absent mothers are doing the outer things they think a mother should do, but have no clue how very big the job of mothering is. Some of the things i use to feel and do are identity crisis, difficulty with change, low self worth, anger, extreme sensitivity to rejection, perfectionist, a lair, difficulty setting boundaries, self conscious, self-criticizing , blaming myself for my mother’s actions, continuously asking for forgiveness to fix relationships, thinking i was bad, upset for feeling joy, and trusting others as well as myself.  1. Examine how you feel before and after interacting with your mother.  2. Let yourself feel Everything - do not run from your pain, take the time to understand what you are feeling.  3. Don’t blame yourself for your mother’s action.  4. Forgive yourself 5. Cut her off/set clear boundaries

Are you struggling with your jealous mother? Is she jealous of your success, hostile when you achieve, and does she sees you as a threat? Is she happy when you have low self-worth? Does your mom always tries to steal the spot light from you? Acts bored when you share big news? Girl, you are in a toxic relationship with your mother!!!!

1. Set boundaries. 2. Journal and therapy. 3. Forgive yourself 4. Listen to your inner voice. 5. Be patient with yourself

A controlling mom is not an easy mom to have around. At first they start of caring, giving you ideas, and then, they want to have an input in every and all decision. Making you feel inadequate,as if you can’t do anything without them. This is not a healthy relationship. It is okay for moms to give advice and mentor ship when solicited. It is not okay for your mom to second guess you all the time.

An angry mom is someone in a constant state of anger, causing the child to always walk on egg shells. First thing to do is: Acknowledge your mom’s anger is not your fault. Second: power move and walk away. Third: establish clear boundaries. Fourth: girl, learn to appreciate you. Remember, you are not in control of anyone’s life but your own.

What type of a toxic mom did you have as a child? Is she Angry, Controlling, Narcissistic, Envious, or Emotionally unavailable?

A good mommy message is basically how your mother response to a child. They can respond in a loving way or a you are bothering me response. This can impact a child growth and sense of self-worth. Please check The emotionally Absent Mother by Jasmin Lee Cori to get more information on this topic. https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=the+emotionally+absent+mother&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=241633972217&hvpos=1t1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6756982645027299924&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007472&hvtargid=kwd-22362590736&ref=pd_sl_7ww9zl9ivl_e

Have you ever felt defective, bad, incomplete, rotten, phony, inadequate, or just a failure? Well that is what Shame is. Its’s when we grow up feeling inferior and unloved.

Do you struggle with say no? Are you afraid of losing people so you say yes? Do you have low self-worth? Are you ready to suffer for others? Today we get to discuss 6 TIPS ON HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING.

Behaviors of co-dependency, putting too much pressure on other people to take care of your emotional needs

Finding yourself can become so difficult. This is why I have decided to take the pressure off and be. I don’t have it all together but I am okay right now.

Introduction to Empowering Motherless Daughter (EMD) as they navigate through life. This is where I am, discovery phase trying to figure out who am I? Why do I do the things I do? Did lack of nurturing played a role?